Hi people! This is part two to the one shot called Search for Loneliness which is the first one on my blog. I think you can read this even if you haven’t read part1 and still get the plot. Hope you enjoy! Huge thanks to the person who requested Part1 and to my friend @interfectorems for the patience and help!
Plot: Harry broke Y/N’s heart. But how come he misses her now?
Warnings: May hint on sex and includes curse words.
Pic isn’t mine.
Harry was awoken by soft kisses being peppered across the warm skin of his shoulder and a low groan fell from his mouth. Images of a girl flashed before his eyes and a lazy smile forced its way onto his face, happiness flooding through his entire body. She was here. Y/N’s smooth fingertips were drawing over his tattoos and Harry took a deep breath, wanting to fill all his senses with her, all of what was her. His muscles relaxed beneath her soft touches and his heart thumbed heavenly full with emotion in his chest. Y/N had come back to him. Or maybe it was him who’d never left? Or… Strange. She smelled differently than he remembered. And her hair was softer. In fact, now that he thought about it, the tender touches he was receiving could in no way be coming from his Y/N. Y/N hadn’t ever drawn over his tattoos, but rather along them, touching his bare, uncovered skin rather than the inked one. It was only a faint difference, but the moment he started paying attention to it he couldn’t ignore how drastically wrong this felt. His heart fell and his stomach knotted. There was still the same distance between Y/N and him as there had been last night. And the day before. The week. Harry rolled onto his side, successfully disconnecting the foreign girl’s touch from his body without even looking at her and got to his feet so quickly his head felt dizzy.
“Breakfast?” his raspy voice muttered, but he was out of the bedroom before his visitor could complain about his unfriendly manners or give an answer to his question.
“Yes, Gem, I’m aware of that.” Harry rolled his eyes at his sister’s lectures about how he’d missed another family dinner and pressed the phone closer to his ear. “It must have slipped my mind. M'sorry.”
“You seem to have very little room in that mind of yours lately,” his sister remarked, “We’ve all seen what might be occupying all the space. How is you’re new mysterious women doing?”
“S'no mystery,” he replied slowly, “And s'not very serious.”
She hummed, indicating that she clearly didn’t buy it. “When did you decide Y/N was to be out of the picture?”
Harry huffed in annoyance. In moments like this he regretted ever bringing Y/N around to meet his family. If he hadn’t done that they surely wouldn’t be bothering him about her anymore.
“I had my reasons so don’t even start.”
A loud, exaggerated sigh was heard, yet she remained silent. Gemma knew her brother well enough to sense when it was best to leave him alone. She also knew when he’d spill what she wanted to hear without needing to be pushed.
“She was just… not right, you know?” he admitted.
Harry shrugged even though she couldn’t see, his fingers nervously switched on the tap, allowing clear water into the sink. Switch on. Switch off.
“She couldn’t accept my life”, he explained, careful to choose his words wisely, “There were many little things she did which clearly showed how little she understood about my lifestyle and there were bigger ones. I once asked her to come to dinner with me and Kendall and she said no, not because of my past relations with her, but because she didn’t want to get into a situation where she’d be filmed for a TV show. Or because there would have been too many paps around. Same went for any other time I wanted her to meet someone remotely famous and at some point all the arguments became too much. Is adapting to my standards really too much to ask? She couldn’t just expect me to change for her or to not go out for dinner every week anymore.”
Silence. One that told him enough.
“What?” he asked annoyed.
“Why do you think I didn’t come to that yacht you rented a couple of years ago?” Gemma giggled. “I met Kendall and she’s actually quite lovely, but her presence does mean a massive amount of cameras. So do all of your other friends. I’ve got sort of used to it over the years and still hate it, so I can understand if a girl with even less experience feels frightened or intimidated by it. Just my opinion, little brother. Maybe you could have solved that issue by simply giving her more time.”
Harry swallowed hard and processed his sister’s words. More time? But weren’t five months enough to come out of your shell if that’s what your boyfriend expects of you?
Gemma went on: “If you feel happier now then I’m on your side, promise. But you need to make an effort, too, Harry. If any relationship of yours should ever lead to something, you have to get used to the thought of making an effort yourself and not just expecting the girl to do all the work.”
Harry scrolled through her Twitter page and it was strangely empty. The last phrases she’d tweeted had been posted weeks ago. Not even her favorites showed any activity and though Y/N hadn’t exactly visited her Social Media every day, this absence did appear odd. Harry couldn’t admit it to himself, but he did miss knowing what she was up to. Had she experimented with a new recipe? Had she gone to the cafe in north London she’d always wanted to visit? Had she managed to get a ticket for that gig one of her favorite musicians had held last week? He wished he could ask her. Deciding that this wouldn’t provide any of the desired information, Harry closed the app with a sigh and instead found himself opening the familiar app of his photo folder. This images weren’t new, but familiar and this was something he desired just as much; the familiarity Y/N had posed that was now lost. Harry stared at the photos and was surprised how every detail of her face was still engraved into his memory, just like any face of a person he cared about was. Only that he shouldn’t feel that way for her anymore. He didn’t have the right to.
“What are you doing?”
The voice was soft and sweet and yet Harry flinched at the unexpected noise. Mia… Maya… Harry wasn’t sure which name it was exactly but after she’d stayed over for three days now he figured asking would be rude. He shut off his device and let it drop onto the coffee table before him, doing his best to appear relaxed.
His new girl smiled and stepped closer. She was pretty. Her hair fell in long waves just below her waist and her wide eyes sparkled with a friendly curiosity for what he was up to, thought or felt. A curiosity he’d known when he had himself began developing feelings for Y/N and now was all he needed to recognize the condition the girl before him was in. She would fall for him. Soon. Harry didn’t tense when she stepped closer and instead held out a hand for her to take, giving it a slight tug so she would swing one leg over his lap and climb up. Harry granted her a gentle smile when he had her sitting in his lap with both slender arms wrapped around his neck, his own hands pressing against her smooth back. Maybe if she’d fall for him, he would find the perfect companion he had been dreaming for. The one Y/N had failed to be.
“Are you okay?” Mia or Maya asked with a small frown between her perfectly plucked brows.
Harry just nodded, his throat too dry to answer. Her smell invaded his senses and the sweetness of her perfume clouded his mind. His girlfriend, if that’s what she could be called, smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to his mouth, expecting it to be a short one and finding herself surprised when Harry’s tongue pushed between her lips and dipped into her mouth. One of his hands moved up to press against the back of her head, keeping her from moving back while his fingers pulled at her top with a feverish desire to tore it away. A small laugh fell from her soft lips and she disconnected their kiss in order to oblige his wish and undress. Once off, she leaned in and pressed tender kisses to the side of his neck, sighing whenever his hands moved over the uncovered skin of her body. Harry’s mind raced and his heart thumbed heavily in his chest. His lower stomach ached and his thighs felt pleasantly tingly. Soft hair brushed over his skin, warm lips placed gentle kisses and delicate hands left faint scratches on his back and stomach. He allowed his head to roll back and his eyes to fall shut.
The name left his mouth in a breathy gasp and it took the girl he was holding to shrug off his embrace before he could realize what he’d done wrong. Hurt evident in her eyes she stumbled to her feet and bent down to gather her shirt, covering her naked torso with hastily moving and shaking fingers. Harry’s stomach turned and he shook his head, an exhausted huff leaving his mouth. Why wouldn’t Y/N leave him alone? Even when she was miles away she could torment him like no one else ever had. Words were shouted, but he took it with no fight and instead stayed sat in his chair as the girl before him began to cry and shake, receiving no words from him to mend her heart ache. At some point he thought she’d slapped him, his cheek, previously kissed by the same person now red and stinging. But he wasn’t sure and only noticed his guest had left when the door fell into its lock with a loud noise.
He had to call her. Y/N hadn’t left his mind in days and frankly he was quite sick of it. So many ordinary tasks had been ruined by her messing with his head. Nervousness made his heart skip and press the phone just a little closer to his ear, waiting impatiently for Y/N to pick up.
Her voice. His eyes fell shut when he heard it and his fingers tingled. She sounded calm and collected, not angry at all. Harry cleared his throat.
Silence. He heard Y/N take in a breath. “I’m sorry, but who’s this?”
A frown took over his forehead until it dawned on him. She couldn’t have known it was Harry, he realized. In order to keep any woman he was involved with from having his private number he had it blocked at all times. He could call and text them without any of them getting his contact info. It was an old habit he’d broken for Y/N and quickly picked back up once he’d broken up with her.
“Harry,” He clarified, a small smile tugging at his lips, “Forgot about me already, have you?”
The silence following his words was nothing like the one earlier. It was as if the connection had died and Harry quickly checked to see if she’d actually ended it or not. Harry’s feet shifted and sighed.
“Y/N?” he pressed on carefully.
It was a whisper, exhausted and empty. Harry’s heart squeezed painfully tight and he brushed the sweaty palm of his free hand against his jeans. So she really wasn’t angry, but hurt.
“Listen,” he began, “I-”
But he was already interrupted by the dreadful peeping noise and this time once he looked at his phone, her name had vanished.
His head hung low and his hands were balled into fists. Just one knock, that’s all he had to force himself to and from there she would take the lead. Every time Harry had had a problem it was her who knew just how to solve it, why should it be different now? All she’d need is him who came back long enough for her to help. With a deep breath Harry raised his hand and let his knuckles meet the door twice. A shudder ran down his back and his throat went dry. What would he do? What would he say?
I know I was an asshole but I flew all the way back to LA for you so please forgive me? I can’t explain it, but I miss you. You haven’t left my mind in weeks, no matter how much I tried.
He couldn’t blame her should she shut the door right into his face if he dared bringing any of those weak excuses. His trail of thoughts was interrupted by the wooden door opening just a slim gap, allowing the person inside to see who it was interrupting their evening. Harry braced himself, his heart skipping in his chest and he looked up eagerly to see the face he’d missed so much more he could have been prepared for. But it wasn’t Y/N.
Harry cleared his throat as the unexpected sight of Y/N’s friend threw him off guard. She narrowed her eyes once she realized it was in fact him and she opened the door wider, keeping hold of it to block him from entering.
“I knew you’d miss her,” she spoke, her voice nothing but unkind and empty of sympathy, “She is too good for you and I just knew you’d end up at her door once you realized that no girl you’d try replacing her with would compare.”
“Is she here?” Harry asked, ignoring the sting in his chest caused by her harsh words. They were true in every way but his pride wasn’t going to just let him admit that.
“Yes,” Mary replied.
He paused, expecting her to say something more but she just continued to stare at him with venomous eyes.
“I need to see her,” he elaborated and took a step forward.
The gap quickly narrowed, but to his surprise Mary nodded. “The moment she calls for me to drag you back outside, I will.”
Harry nodded and pushed past Mary, entering the familiar space. He could still feel her enraged gaze on his back as his own eyes scanned the living room in search for his ex girlfriend, but she was no where.
“She’s in the bedroom.”
He uttered a thanks to the woman eyeing him and with weak knees he walked down the familiar hall and to the closed door or her bedroom, his heavy heart dropping to his stomach. He’d stood here so many times before. Sometimes with flowers in his hands to surprise her just because she was as lovely as they were. On other days, mainly morning, he would take a moment to prepare for seeing her barely dressed and in her bed, his fingers tightening around the cups of coffee or the bag of breakfast he had gone to pick up. Of course he also recalled the many nights where he’d stood right here, with her in his arms or hoisted up and pressed against the wood. Never before had he stood here with fear rushing through his veins. It’d been him who’d rejected her, but he couldn’t imagine handling the situation if their roles were reversed. He was certain he wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Then he heard it. At first only faintly, then clear and loud enough for his heart to break.
Whimpers. Cries. Sobs.
Her face when it had finally dawned on her that he was leaving her had been a picture he’d replayed in his head over the past weeks. His ears still rang with her cries and his eyes burned at the memory of her soft lips parting to beg him to stay with her. And still, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d harmed her until now that he could hear her heartbreak through the thick wood of her door. His hands pushed down the handle before he had thought twice about it and he rushed into the room. He could have sworn his soul crumbled at the sight of Y/N curled up in her bed, a thin blanked shielding her shivering body from the cold while she cried and sobbed into her pillow. Her arms were wrapped around the fluffy material and her head buried into it so Harry couldn’t see her face. Harry wasn’t sure if she’d even noticed his presence or not but he didn’t care. Before Y/N could protest or really understand what was going on, he’d discarded his shoes and climbed up behind her. Both of his arms found their familiar hold around her waist and he felt tears shoot to his eyes when he finally buried his head into her neck, breathing in her comforting scent. His legs pushed hers apart before intertwining with them and so Y/N soon was cuddled into and against Harry, closer and tighter than she’d ever been before.
“I’m so sorry,” Harry breathed against her skin, “I love you.”
Not for a moment did he hope she might have missed the confession that had slipped his lips before he could stop it. Though Harry hadn’t thought about it before, hadn’t come to any conclusion and sure as hell hadn’t spoken to anyone about it, he realized it was true. He did love Y/N and any reason he’d dug up to break up with her had been for the sole purpose of stopping him from falling deeper. But he loved her. And this time he wouldn’t leave.
“Forgive me,” he continued, his own voice breaking as his eyes stung with tears.
Y/N’s body was stiff aside form the occasional shakes by her crying and she did nothing to return his embrace. But she didn’t push him away either and this allowed him to hope. His lips found her neck and he sobbed when happiness flooded his body, his skin tingling with the relief of finally having her close enough to touch again.
“This time will be different,” he promised against her before pressing another tender kiss to her skin, “I promise you, Y/N.”
And so they lay, on the very bed Harry had broken her heart on all those weeks ago. He thought it fitting that it was here he doing his best to mend it again. But although he held her, breathed her in and murmured promises of how much he regretted it all, Harry continued to fail to understand just how deep his betrayal had cut and so he didn’t know that all Y/N’s head was screaming for was for him to disappear, even if her arms were too weak to push him off and her voice too thin to send him away.
When Harry awoke he was alone. His hands didn’t need to pat the mattress in search for her, his entire body could feel her absence without having opened his eyes to confirm it. He felt cold. He crawled out of bed with a groan and stretched his limps before walking gingerly to the closed door, down the hall and into the kitchen. His hands clenched and his heart skipped widely in his chest, nervous of what was going to happen next. Y/N was standing with her back to him when he entered the small space of her kitchen and for a moment Harry considered sneaking up on her and wrapping her into an embrace, just like he’d done many times before. She turned around to face him before he got the chance. Y/N’s eyes met his and he froze. Her gaze wasn’t anything like the loving and warm one he’d expected to receive. Instead, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, proving just how much she’d cried last night, if not many more nights before that. Her lips were bitten and dry, her hair appeared to be mat and when she raised her mug to her lips to drink he noticed how her hand was shaking.
“Did you sleep okay?”
It was a stupid question, he knew that even before he’d asked it, but he couldn’t think of anything else he could say. The girl before him looked nothing like the Y/N he knew.
“Can’t say I did.”
Not even her voice sounded the same, he noticed with a sinking heart.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, unsure to which one of his many mistakes the apology applied for.
“Breakfast is in the fridge,” Y/N spoke without reacting to his words.
They ate in silence, Harry sitting on the table and Y/N leaning against the counter. He watched her hand trembling slightly whenever she raise the spoon full of cereal to her mouth and he needed to focus on his own fingers to keep them from shaking too. Once they had both finished Y/N turned to wash her bowl clean, but flinched away from the water when Harry stepped close to do the same.
“Y/N,” he sighed, set down the ceramic he was holding, before leaning against the counter himself. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Y/N answered quietly, “Other than that I think you should leave.”
Her eyes refused to meet his and instead focused onto the floor. A frown took over his face.
“Leave?” He shook his head.
“But Y/N,” he protested, “we made up. Last night when I climbed into your bed… we made up, didn’t we? Said I was sorry and promised to be different now…We made up.”
Though he’d wished to have her look him in the eyes again, the moment she did, he regretted it. Her orbs were cold and empty of any kindness.
“Because you climbed into my bed as I was crying?” The raw emotion in her voice knocked the breath right out of him. “You think that’s all it took?”
“I-” Harry began, but was interrupted.
“Surely you must know that it was you who’d made me cry last night. It’s been you every night for the past weeks.”
He swallowed hard and his stomach was in knots as he watched her turn around and exit the kitchen. Though he was worried about what would happen next, he followed her into the living room, this time aware of her resentment towards him and so he didn’t try and sit close to her again once she lowered herself onto the couch. Harry took a seat on one of her chairs and watched her warily, unsure if she wanted him to speak or had something to say herself. After a moment of silence he took a breath.
“I swear to you,” he began, “that me breaking up with you was in no way your fault. I know I made you feel as though it was, but it wasn’t. All you did was caring for me so much more than I’d imagined someone could and I fucked it all up simply because I didn’t know how to deal with that.”
“I didn’t think somebody caring for you would pose such a problem to you.”
“It didn’t,” Harry quickly argued, “Not a problem, but something that scared me. I didn’t want you to realize that I didn’t deserve you.”
Y/N laughed. “That’s bullshit. You wished that was why you broke up with me but we both know it isn’t.”
Harry fell silent. The girl before him shook her head and let her gaze wonder to the window, appearing deep in thought for a moment.
“I have spent every minute of every day since you abandoned me with ways of making sense of it. Do you realize that? While you were fucking her, I was sitting here wondering what I’d done to be thrown to the side like a plaything you decided you didn’t want anymore.”
“That’s not true,” Harry protested before he could stop himself, “I saw you with that man at the shops. I did nothing with anyone until I saw those pictures!”
“Oh, I’ve seen those photos, too,” Y/N spoke, her voice raising, “And you, of all people, should know that the media can make anything into a story! It was a guy who’d accidentally bumped into me and asked if I was alright. Nothing more.”
“And what about you?” she continued “Did you also just happen to fall into that woman’s arms and did your mouths meet completely by chance? Did she stumble into your bed and you just coincidentally happened to be naked?”
“Why? Don’t you want to think about her?”
“No,” he murmured, his eyes suddenly wet with tears.
Y/N swallowed hard and though it wasn’t easy for her to see the man she loved tormented, she had to admit that with every word she spoke, another weight was lifted off her chest.
“I’m not the first,” Y/N began, her tone gentler, “That’s what saddens me, too, though it saddens me more for you than it does for me. Tell me, what is the girl’s name? The one you left behind now so you could come to me.”
Harry froze. He looked at Y/N and if he wasn’t mistaken he recognized a hint of pity in her eyes. Not pity for herself, but for him.
“Do you not know? It’s Moira.”
Moira. Harry’s mind raced. Not Mia. Or Maya. Moira.
“I saw it in every picture that was posted online. She was like me, looked at you just the same. Are you aware that you broke her heart just the same you have broken mine?”
No, Harry thought, he couldn’t have.
“And what is the girl’s name you left before you first met me? And the girl before that and the girl before that? You have left so many people in the past few years there is a trail of heartbreak behind you and to this day you have remained completely unaware of it.”
Y/N’s cheeks were wet but her voice didn’t tremble.
“It isn’t the same,” Harry spoke, his voice hoarse, “you’re the only one I want, Y/N. We laster five months, that’s worth so much more than any fling I might have had before you.”
He closed his eyes and let his head fall into his palms.
“They meant nothing,” he swore, “and Moira,” he swallowed hard, “was only a distraction from you.”
“You said I wasn’t what you wanted,” Y/N continued, “I assume you told all of them the same. You’ve let so many people down all because you selfishly chase a romanticized picture of a relationship you have in your head.”
“I’ll change,” Harry weeped against his palms, “From now on it’ll be only you. I don’t need any imagination of a relationship. I want what was real. Want it with you.”
He removed his palms form his face and got to his feet. He noticed her body tense when he neared but she didn’t move away, not even when he dropped to his knees before her.
“I’m in love with you.”
She shook her head. “Don’t,” she whispered and this time she allowed him to see her tears fall from her eyes, “don’t say that only because you’re scared.”
“I’m not,” Harry whispered, “It’s the truth, that’s why.”
Y/N didn’t flinch when he reached for her hands and his heart squeezed when she didn’t pull away.
“I am scared,” he continued, “How couldn’t I be? Your rejection would break my heart and I don’t know how I’d live with the knowledge that it is my fault that I lost you? But I’m not scared of being alone anymore, not enough to throw myself into random relationships like you were right, I have done all this time. I want you or nothing at all, Y/N. I love you.”
He watched her sob and squeezed her fingers with his gently, appreciating any skin touched by her warm tips. This small touches, the reluctant squeeze and tiny movements, meant so much more than the physical contact he’d graved and taken last night. He’d held her, kissed her, breathed her in. But this was voluntarily. She was holding his hands because she wanted to. He could have rejoiced. When her body fell forward and into his open arms, he didn’t know for sure if it was because she wanted it or just her body giving out, finally surrendering to the weight of her emotions. He cried out when her arms settled around his neck and his heart broke when he felt her kiss his neck. After all this time, he could breathe again.
“Harry,” she whimpered.
“I’ll fix this,” he promised, “Everything. I’ll call and apologize to every woman I hurt in the past. You are right, always are, and I should apologize to them for my selfish actions. But you and I are different, Y/N. We’re real and I won’t let my stupid imagination ruin anything again. I don’t want the classic perfect. I want our perfect.”
She sobbed and held onto him tighter. Harry fell back to sit on the floor and a relieved laugh tumbled from his mouth when she followed to sit in his lap, both legs now wrapped around his waist.
“I love you,” he whispered against the shell of her ear.
He groaned when her small hands pulled at the strands of hair at the back of his neck, but obeyed and moved his head back so his eyes could meet hers. Her beautiful orbs were full of the loving care he’d missed so much and he felt another wave of tears rush to his own eyes. For a moment she just looked at him, the man she’d given her heart to, who’d then broken it and now promised to mend it again. Harry.
“It’ll take time,” she murmured shyly and he nodded without hesitating, “but I think we’ve got enough of it.”
A smile danced on his mouth and his eyes closed when her soft lips met his in a tender kiss. He had her back, he thought, his heart full of joy and he wouldn’t ever be reckless enough to let her go again.
Hi. Sorry to bother you but I saw you post a while ago a pic of what seem to be Harry's keys among cameras on the table. What was that pic? Who or what else was on that pic? Was it something Louis related?
It’s a cropped version of this:
The first time we realized that his Larrie ass has blue and green keys was on this day (back in March 2016):
They even look like the same shade of blue/green???
Those keys are basically the definition of Extra and I hate everything.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????? This is actually happening in an episode, in the same episode????? Look at that kiss, that’s like my fan fiction dreams come to life. Look at that tender touch between them, and they are both obviously in tears. I almost dropped my phone when I first saw these pictures and now I’m an emotional mess. Someone reserve my funeral plot, carve the tombstone, contact my acquaintances and get some cake for the afterparty because my funeral is promptly after 2x15 airs. The tender love beaming from these pics is so beautiful, I need to go cry about it again one more time.
Everyone complained during Harry's promo, and yet my dash was filled with his interviews and everything. Everyone hated rolling stone and yet reblogged all the pics and went out to buy the magazine. No one liked the first night of the Late Late show yet everyone tuned in for the next night. This isn't people feeling sad about Louis promo it's them not liking Louis, simple as that.
Hope you guys will enjoy this one! Thank you to the person who requested it. Was a fun story to write! And also, thank you to @interfectorems for helping me get ideas.
Plot: Inexperienced Y/N wants Harry to finally introduce her to a more intimate level of their relationship.
Warnings: Smut, but not too much.
Pic isn’t mine, sadly.
I remembered our first kiss. We’d knocked our heads together as we’d leant into the same direction and he’d failed to keep the laugh from tumbling from his pink lips while my cheeks had burned in embarrassment. Harry had taken his time to recover and he’d cupped my cheek in his palm, holding my head still so he could lean in without knocking against my temple again, with both dimples still prominent in his cheeks. When our mouths had connected however, that had been when the fire had first erupted between us.
That fire was yet to be extinguished and bound me to Harry with a strength I couldn’t quite comprehend. Whenever he entered a room, all I could feel was this intense pull, urging me to be as close to him as I could be and yet, letting him close was that one thing I didn’t quite dare doing yet. Harry and I had been friends for more than four months before I’d (accidentally!) let it slip that I had a thing for him. I’d been properly embarrassed then, couldn’t even look him in the eye and had avoided him for a week until he had finally been able to corner me and tell me that he’d felt the same, that he had for months in fact. It was then, that our awkward first kiss had followed and when I’d walked with him holding my hand, it had been the first time I’d felt the tingling sensation all over my body. We’d been together for two months now and I was so happy. Harry was a sensitive, attentive and kind guy. He gave me all of his attention whenever I wanted or needed it and always knew when to give my hand an extra squeeze. It didn’t seem to bother him when I stopped his hands from wandering too low when we were kissing and he never complained when I rolled from under him with a weak excuse about having to use the bathroom, all so I could get away from his relentless kisses and gentle touches. It wasn’t like I didn’t want him to touch me, I did. My stomach always fluttered upon feeling his hands on me, my heart’s pace sped up and it squeezed in my chest almost painfully. I loved to feel his soft mouth on mine, leaving kisses that were sweet at first and got more and more urgent as the minutes passed. Nothing gave me quite as much comfort as having him press his warm body against mine, as he was strong and knew just how much pressure was bearable. But for some reason I couldn’t let him too close. I just couldn’t. The moment I felt his lower region press into mine a little to hard, I shuddered and all my head screamed at me to do was leave.
Harry never asked. He never rolled his eyes, huffed, sighed or made any other sign of annoyance. Not once had he made me keep still, held me close, forced me to stay longer than I wanted or been angry with me. Usually he waited for me to exit his bathroom until I was done pretending to pee, gave me a smile along with a soft kiss pressed to my cheek, before he entered the bathroom himself, undoubtedly to finish what I was somehow unable to, and had still started. No more though, I’d decided. Today I would tell him. Tell him I was ready. It was just Harry after all, a guy I knew, trusted and cared for dearly. It couldn’t be too hard to give myself to him, now could it?
“Hello, love,” Harry greeted me upon entering his flat.
A smile spread and his whole face lit up. He quickly pushed the coat from his strong shoulders and slipped off his shoes, tossing them to the small space next to the door, before he entered his living room where I was and plopped down on the couch beside me.
“Hi,” I mumbled, reciprocating his smile, before leaning in to kiss his cheek softly.
“You on your own?”
I nodded. “Your roommate left only ten minutes ago. Said he’ll stay at his girlfriend’s, so…”
“We’re alone tonight.” Harry grinned and pressed a quick kiss to my lips, humming lowly.
I was just about to lean in to deepen the connection when he pulled away, got to his feet and walked to the kitchen. Odd. Normally Harry never missed a beat and kissed me back immediately.
“Are you hungry, babe? I could make us something. M'sure there’s some pasta left as well.”
I frowned a little and got up as well, before following him into the smaller space of his kitchen where he was stood by the counter.
“Yeah, sounds great.”
My throat felt incredibly dry as I watched Harry sort through his drawers and refrigerator in search for pans and food, the movements of his muscles visible even through his jumper, making me feel all tingly again. The warmth of Harry’s body seemed to radiate off of him and onto me, his presence setting me at ease while making me nervous at the same time, a combination that didn’t make sense and somehow still did. Harry cheered when he discovered the bowl of pasta in his fridge and stepped closer to me to give me a fist bump, a gesture I almost missed as I was too deep in thought.
How would I start this conversation? Did it even have to be one, really? Maybe I could make him kiss me in that special way, one that would lead him to lay us both down on his couch and make out until it got too much for me. Only that this time it wouldn’t become too much. It wouldn’t. And instead I’d let him continue and take me wherever he wanted.
“Do you mind cutting the tomatoes for us?” Harry asked, his back still turned to me while he prepared the pasta.
Screw plan A. I couldn’t wait any longer, the feeling of excitement and anticipation was too strong.
“Do you think we could have sex?”
Harry stopped his movements. The pan he was holding fell onto the stove with a clash and I could see his muscles tense as his entire posture straightened. Mentally, I cursed myself for sounding like such a baby, asking him for sex with a voice indicating so clearly how nervous I was. He was still and I bit my lip, scared of his next words. Oh god. What I fool I was. Nothing sexier as a girl who has absolutely no idea what she’s doing, keeps on rejecting her guy and then asks, fucking asks, like a school girl, if her boyfriend may still want to try out sex with her. Slowly, very slowly, Harry turned around to face me. His pink lips were apart and his eyes wider than before, a clear look of surprise and concern in them.
His voice was thin and higher than before. I cleared my throat.
“No, I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have… Sorry, Harry. Forget about it.”
He held up his hand to stop me. “No, no, darling. What was it you said, ‘cause can’t possibly have been what I thought I heard.”
My cheeks heated and I bit my lip. “Stop it. You know you heard right.”
“You want to have sex?” Harry asked in disbelief.
He was leaning against the counter now, his body turned fully to me to give me all of his attention. I nodded shyly.
“Yes. If we could, then I thought… yeah.”
“I mean,” Harry began, “M'sure we could. We both got the equipment needed, don’t we?”
He grinned and I caught his gaze traveling down to my breasts before dropping even lower, staying there momentarily before locking eyes with me again, his smile widening.
My hands flung to my face, covering it with both palms and I quickly turned around, unable to look at Harry any longer. This was so embarrassing. The heat in my cheeks increased until I could feel that I was for sure a bright shade of red and my palms were sweaty.
“Hey,” Harry’s soft voice sounded, humor still evident in it.
I could hear him step closer to me and flinched when his arms wrapped around my form, bringing my body against his. Harry’s chin rested on my shoulder and his chest against my back.
“Don’t be so shy, baby,” Harry hummed into the shell of my ear before kissing the skin of my neck gently.
“Stop making fun of me, then,” I argued quietly.
Harry’s arms squeezed me and he pressed himself against me tighter. “M'not. Just surprised you want to fuck me, is all.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
He whined and nuzzled my neck, his lips nipping and biting on my skin softly, coaxing a gasp from me.
“My cute,” Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to my cheek, “soft,” another kiss to my neck, “gentle,” a kiss to my shoulder, “sweet,” kiss to my jaw, “innocent,” his tongue darted out to wet the skin of my neck, “Y/N.”
My eyes were squeezed shut and a sigh fell from my mouth. I held onto his arms with my hands, my tips digging into his skin as my grip tightened. The tingling sensation of my body increased and Harry’s presence almost felt overwhelming.
“You want to have sex with me, then?” Harry asked, his voice serious.
“Yes,” I murmured.
Harry’s nose pressed against the back of my neck and I could hear him take in a deep breath, then he let me go. His hands took hold of my arms and he spun me around to his face him. It took more bravery than usually to look into his eyes, but once I did, I was relieved to find them full of kindness. None of the mockery I’d suspected they’d hold in them, no cheekiness.
“Say it,” Harry whispered.
And for the first time since dating him, I could tell he was nervous, too. I swallowed hard.
“I want to, Harry.”
His teeth bit onto his bottom lip and his brows furrowed. He looked deep in thought and I wrapped my arms around my middle, at least as good as I could, given the fact that he was still squeezing them.
“What?” My eyes widened.
“Do you want to eat first or after?”
“Perhaps first would be good so I don’t wear you out, but if we want to get this over and done with as quickly as possible then we could-”
“Get this over and done with?” I squeaked.
The lump in my throat grew at his words and I took a step back. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all and I just simply wasn’t the kind of person who was confident enough to initiate sex. Suddenly Harry began to laugh.
“I’m just messing with you, sweetheart.”
His smile grew upon seeing my confused look and he leaned in to press a quick kiss to my parted lips.
“You should see the look on your face!” he laughed and I swatted him.
How dare he?
“You’re such a shit head!”
“I know, but one who’s gonna get in your pants tonight, eh?”
He looked proud of himself and laughed once more when I rolled my eyes at him. Harry’s hands pulled me forward and closer to where he stood again. He pressed a kiss to my temple, then he pulled back with a much more serious expression on his face.
“This is nothing to get over and done with,” he reassured me, “I know that. Not with you, anyway.”
His palms settled onto my waist and he leaned in closer once more to kiss my cheek gently.
“We’ll go slow, yeah?” Harry hummed lowly, “Take our time. I won’t push you and be gentle and-”
“But I want it today,” I interrupted him, sensing that he would propose to postpone it. But I couldn’t wait. I’d be too afraid next time if we didn’t to it now.
Harry frowned. “Are you sure?”
I nodded and took his face into both hands. “Very.”
He still didn’t look too certain, not even when I began to move my thumbs in a circular motion against the skin of his cheeks.
“And I’d like it if we ate after,” I murmured with a smile.
This made Harry laugh. “Alright. Good. Let’s go to the bedroom then, shall we?”
He reached up to his face where he clasped my hand, then he walked out of the kitchen and into the direction I knew his bedroom was, making me follow him close behind. It was when he pushed the door to his room shut and turned to face me where I was standing in front of his bed, that it all began to feel so real. I was about to see him naked.
Perhaps that was an odd thing to consume my thoughts, given the fact that I was about to be naked myself and most likely to experience pain, but his nakedness was all I could focus on. I’d seen him shirtless before on various occasions and each time his beauty had stolen my breath. And now I was about to see him fully naked.
“You good?” Harry asked gently, his voice laced with concern.
“Gonna need a verbal confirmation there, baby,” he whispered.
Harry’s warm palms gently caressed my cheeks, holding my face still so he could connect out mouths in a passionate kiss. I whimpered and allowed him to deepen the kiss. A shiver crawled all over my skin when he lowly moaned, his tongue invading my mouth with care not to use too much. His soft kisses distracted me from where his hands had travelled down to my shirt and I only noticed that he’d began pulling the fabric up when he’d already exposed half of my stomach.
“May I?” he asked against my lips before resuming to kiss my mouth.
All I could muster was a low moan and a nod, allowing him to pull up the shirt further before we quickly disconnected the kiss so he could pull it over my head. Harry’s eyes widened. He’d never seen me topless before and I noticed his cheeks flush. Thank god I’d decided to wear my lacy bralette tonight, one that hardly covered anything. For some reason, this didn’t feel difficult. Now that Harry knew exactly how far I wanted to go and was aware of the fact that he needed to be gentle with me, I felt much more relaxed. I loved Harry, after all. He didn’t know it yet, but it was true and I knew he would make sure I was alright as his sensitive nature allowed him to know exactly how to be with me.
“Fuck,” Harry cursed, “You are…” he took a deep breath and shook his head. His eyes were still set onto my breasts.
My cheeks heated under his intense stare.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful. It’s insane. You drive me insane.”
I giggled and reached out to the hem of his own shirt. “Thank you, love. Now it’s your turn.”
Harry smiled confidently and let me pull up his own shirt so he too was topless before me. My fingers traced his tattoos and I shook my head in awe. He was stunning. The most handsome male I had ever seen, easily.
“I’m a bit nervous,” I whispered.
Harry’s green orbs stared into mine and I bit the inside of my cheek when he raised my hand to his lips to kiss the back of it.
“It’s alright,” he assured, “M'nervous too.”
“Yeah, but you have experience.”
“So?” he asked.
“Well. You know what’s expecting you,” I mumbled, “aside the fact that it probably won’t feel as good. I don’t know what I’m doing, after all. Sorry in advance, Harry, I promise, I-”
“Wow,” Harry interrupted me, “What’s this talk now?”
I shrugged and looked away.
“S'this why you never let me touch you properly?” Harry asked.
His eyes looked confused and his lips were set in a thin line. He obviously could not understand where I was coming from. I bit my bottom lip and nodded, looking down.
“Y/N,” Harry groaned, reaching forward to take hold of my chin, “my darling love, what silly worries have you troubled yourself with now? Did you truly think I would be… what? Disappointed if we had sex? That I wouldn’t be satisfied or, good god, angry with you? Y/N!”
His words came out rushed and he stopped himself to breath.
“Well,” I began but was shushed with Harry pressing his lips to mine, kissing me deeply instantly.
His hands found my ribcage and I shuddered, the warmth of his palms a strong contrast to my cold skin. Harry moaned into my mouth and pushed me back gently, walking me backwards so my legs hit the mattress. I whimpered and clasped the back of his neck, holding his head to me so we wouldn’t stop kissing while I settled down onto the bed, laying down with Harry following suit. Harry’s tongue traced along my bottom lip and I made a noise close to a whine when I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. He responded by disconnecting our kiss and settling his mouth onto my neck where he didn’t wait to bit and lick the skin, making sure to leave a mark.
“Harry,” I moaned.
His hand had fallen lower and began tugging at my leggings, slowly moving the fabric down my legs. Harry’s hands pulled them down further until I could push them from my legs with my feet, letting the clothing fall to the end of the bed. Harry hummed into my neck. My own fingers boldly moved to pop the button of his jeans and I fumbled with the zipper, pulling it down carefully. Harry aided me in pushing down his jeans so he was only left in his underwear as well. His eyes watched me close while his hands caressed my cheeks, then my breasts and then moved further down to my hip.
I nodded, knowing what was going to come next. I was sure. This time, I was ready. Harry watched me closely as my face scrunched up, the tip of his finger gently pressed against my clothed center and I whined. Carefully and in a slow movement so I could still stop it should I wish, he moved my underwear aside and dipped his fingers inside. Having his bare skin against mine made me gasp. Harry waisted no time and began to move his fingers in a circular motion, applying just enough pressure.
My head fell back into the pillows. Harry followed, leaning his body against mine and peppering kisses to my chest while his fingers still gently touched my most sensitive spot.
“Good, huh?” Harry grinned.
“Yeah,” I gasped and moaned when one of his finger dared dipping into me, not far enough to slip it inside, though.
Harry watched me intensely and part of me worried for a moment if I looked ridiculous, my face all twisted in a pleasure more intense than I’d ever felt before.
“Relax,” Harry hushed against my skin, then he slowly began to push his finger in.
My eyes squeezed shut tighter and my mouth opened in a loud cry. It burned, yes, but the pleasure consuming me overshadowed any faint pain.
“Still good?” he asked, his voice almost a growl.
I gasped upon feeling his own arousal against my leg, the hard pressure pressing against my thigh when he shifted.
“Yes, good,” I whimpered, “so good, Harry.”
“Fucking hell, you’re tight,” Harry groaned as he withdrew his finger, before gently pushing it back in, “You’re going to feel so incredible once m'inside you, darling.”
I hummed and turned my head to kiss the side of his head, momentarily making it difficult for him to nip on my neck. Harry responded by moving one of his fingers, I assumed his thumb, up and onto a spot he hadn’t payed much attention to yet. He pressed the pad of said finger against the small spot and all of a sudden a pleasure much more intense cursed through me.
“Oh,” I cried in surprise, “H-Harry!”
“I’ve got you,” he whispered soothingly, rubbing faster pumping his finger once more, a little deeper this time. “You can do it. Know you can, just push through it, baby.”
It hit me with surprise. All of a sudden my lungs felt as if they could burst and my head was dizzy. My eyes rolled back and my mouth fell open, releasing loud gasps and cries as the pleasure increased yet once more, drowning me and pulling me under. My hands, which had so far settled on Harry’s back, moved up and down his bare skin. I wanted to have him close, wanted to hold him and make sure he couldn’t disappear, but the intensity of the feeling made my limps unable to obey properly. Attentive as ever, Harry leaned in closer against me and kissed my collarbones, his tongue licking the skin. His free arm wrapped around my waist so he could hold me tighter and his gentle voice soothed me quietly as I surrendered to my orgasm.
We stayed silent for a moment. I whimpered when he withdrew his finger from me and immediately felt incredibly empty.
“Baby,” Harry murmured, “calm breaths, my love.”
My hands moved from his back to his hair and I shook my head.
“Kiss me, please,” I begged quietly.
I saw him smile through my heavy lids before I felt his warm lips press to mine sweetly. He had worn me out. I couldn’t even kiss him back properly and faintly wondered how I was going to handle sex with him, actual sex, without passing out.
“I think,” Harry murmured gently when his mouth left mine, “we can both agree I should have made you eat something first.”
I laughed breathlessly and nodded. “Probably, yes.”
“Well,” Harry hummed, “let’s leave it like this then, alright?”
I tried to lean up but Harry quickly pushed me back into the pillows, moving up so he could still lay on top of me, but on eye level.
“Darling, I don’t think you’re in the state to handle sex right now. Plus, I said we’d go slow and we have all the time we want.”
Harry kissed the tip of my nose. “Trust me. You’ll have a better time, if I introduce you to sex slowly. Want you to be as comfortable as possible before doing the real thing, so you’re not learning it all at once.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re perfect, you know?”
“Been told once or twice,” he replied cheekily.
We kissed once more and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Once I was sure I could move my legs again I wrapped them around his waist, but gasped when I found that he was in fact still very hard. Oh.
“No, it’s not,” I insisted, “I should do something for you, too.”
Harry shook his head before kissing me once more.
“Don’t need to, love. M'good. Promise.”
“But now I feel bad,” I whispered.
Harry hummed as if in thought and squeezed me a little. “How about you show me your breasts? That would make me feel better for sure.”
“Oh god, you boy!” I laughed and my heart jumped excitedly when his head fell into my neck, his own shoulders shaking in laughter.
The sound of his throaty laughter filled the bedroom and I was sure I’d never been this happy before.
“Alright then,” I murmured, “help me get the bra off.”
“A bra, you call this?” he asked, genuine wonder in his tone. “M'a fan.”
His hands moved up my back and to the clasp of the clothing. I leaned up, giving him better access and groaned when I felt him struggle with opening it.
“You alright?” I giggled.
“I can’t get this thing open,” he complained, “Why is it so bloody hard?”
“That’s what she said.”
Harry pulled back to stare at me and it took less than ten seconds for him to break into a laugh.
“Oh for god’s sake,” he chuckled, his forehead resting against my breasts.
“I’m sorry,” I laughed, “I had to.”
“Knew you would make that stupid pun,” Harry answered, “And you didn’t disappoint, as you never do. In any way.”
Hope you enjoyed! Requests are still closed. Rest of what I wrote can be found here:
LOOK IT’S HERE AND THE FIRST PIC IT’S BABY HARRY WITH GEMMA THIS IS P AND ALFIE OMG
WAIT, I HAVE SEEN THIS PHOTO BEFORE. WHY DID I NOT REMEMBER IT? IT MAKES ME SO SOFT AND FUZZY INSIDE. OH MY GOD. THIS REALLY IS A SIMILAR PHOTO TO WHAT THE MISSUS AND HARRY TAKE OF ALFIE. IT’S SO CUTE. I’M SCREAMING.
AND THIS ONE OF HIM AND GEMMA MAKES MY HEART ACHE. THEY BOTH LOOK SO MUCH LIKE ANNE, I’M SCREAMING. AND HIS STRIPY SHORTS… I JUST WANT TO SOB… xx
This is speculation, of course, so take it with a grain of salt, but I’m quite certain that Harry in that cell happens fairly early the movie, - at least in the first half.
- The very first pic of Colin on set to come out, was this one taken in Courmayeur and despite the fact that in trailer we see Pedro and Taron in the ski lift, I think Colin was involved in that scene. Why was he there, in full Harry costume otherwise? - I am also bringing into thisPedro Pascal Instagram: again full Harry gear, on set, with at least Agent Whiskey. My bet is that they were partially filming some scenes in Poppy’s Land - On that note, this. That was the official shirt for the Stunt Crew, sporting Harry in an eyepatch, fighting alongside Eggsy. Eggsy that carries a briefcase similar to the one he has on his shoulder in the trailer, in what appears to be Poppy’s Land - There’s no confirmation of this, but apparently according to some bystanders, Colin was also on set for part of the car chase sequence here and here - Colin was also spotted (of course he was, he was wearing a bloody pink waistcoat) in Greenwich here, well groomed, in which is allegedly the last scene of the movie.
I think it’s a good guess to say Harry is being kept by the Statesman in the beginning of the movie. It would make sense, since he was last seen (and supposed dead) in Kentucky and apparently their HQ is also in Kentucky. We can assume Kinsgman HQ blowing up also happens fairly early, and when Merlin and Eggsy are forced to reach the Statesman they might discover that Harry is, indeed, alive.
That would also explain what is the struggle Eggsy is facing: probably he’s the only one who trusts Harry to be able to fight again, by his their side.
the "deepest love" comment was one of the first things that made me question him and eleanor. I would look at pics of them and see like zero chemistry and think like this cannot be the person he's making that comment about. and then i thought but like who else? he's young and rich. i doubt he has those feelings for random groupies on tour and then I found out about larry and was like oh! that makes more sense
A master post where zayn and harry admire each others beautiful faces
Ok so lets start with zayn shall we?like damn man, he is literally eye fucking harry.
its like i cant even explain.
don’t tell me this is the look you give your ‘brother’
it was there since the x-factor….. every one is looking at the camera while zayn cant help but adore harry’s face with smile
no matter what face harry makes, zayn admires it.. I am in love with you and all your little things… Zayn you ok down there???
Ok now believe me i am not lying, there are thousands of pic of zayn eyes fucking harry but i just posted some cux if i start posting all of em then i would grow old and it wont finish.
So harry now.. This one is my personal favorite so this was first!
But harry is looking at him like the first and the last time… Harry pose for the camera not for your bf.
He fucking bit his lip while checking zayn out like wtf,
Harry dont show it too much or management wouldnt be pleased (even though fuch modest! )So i wasnt the only one who thought zayn looked like a sex god there, harry also couldnt take the amount of hotness Like they are are staring 24/7 at each other ,i bet when they are alone they fuck to finish the thirst.
Now both of them!
i didnt even need to write for them , its obvious like hell!
Zayn about harry-
'I love harry’s curls"
“the sexy curly haired one”
“his gorgeous gorgeous green eyes”
“I admire Harry’s dimples”
“Vas Happenin Gorgeous”
“look at his curly locks. What more could you want?”
i was peaking through my drafts and realized i never posted this gem. i quite like this piece actually. something about any kind of dad!harry really gets to me. imagining harold as a father? cuteness overload.
WARNINGS :: not much, man. i will say i envision their ages to be about 23-24 because it’s *5 years after they were 18*. super cool stuff. not too too important but if you needed an era to think of i would think OTRA/2015 harry :)
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I left for you and I know that sounds like bullshit but it’s the truth! Your career was finally taking off and I could see how happy you were, how could I take that away from you?”
Harry’s awestruck. Simply and completely awestruck. How can she even say this? They were in it together. They grew up together, they were eachother’s wingmen, they were eachother’s first love. They went through everything together.
harry and y/n reconnect after 5 years.
- - -
Harry didn’t know what had happened. In all the truth that could be told, he didn’t really ever just notice someone in a random crowd.
Sure, there could be someone who was pretty or hot that caught his eye. But to have a magnetic pull like this to a seeming stranger, made his head spin.
But that’s his very problem.
She’s most definitely not a stranger, and she’s most definitely not just some pretty girl, and she’s most definitely not a random person.
The love of Harry’s life, to explain it in a short way, yet, she shouldn’t be.
See, they broke up over 5 years ago and Harry has just never really gotten over her. He thinks he may never.
Because she was magnetic.
She was infatuating.
She was immaculate.
But they were just so young.
Or at least those were her words.
Because when you’re on one knee with a ring, asking for a hand in marriage, you don’t expect anything bad to happen.
But that’s where Harry was five years ago.
Young love was not to be trusted. They were only 18 and maybe she did know better but Harry simply didn’t give a fuck.
Because he was in love with her. He still is.
But now he stands here faced with the rejection of his life and she hasn’t even looked at him yet.
He doesn’t know whether to approach her or get the hell away from her and never come back.
But before his mind can make his decision, his heart beats him to it with quick strides of his long legs so he can be close to her.
Maybe Harry was clumsy, he always had been. But in the haste of not seeing your one true love in over 5 years might have made his approach a bit unorthodox.
She was holding a donut or something of that sort and that ends up on the floor when Harry trips over the sidewalk and basically falls on top of her.
Yeah, so maybe Harry was a bit clumsy.
“Ouch,” she giggles that airy laugh that Harry just adores, “Bit clumsy there-”
Her eyes meet his and the words that were escaping from her lips are now stuck in her throat and Y/N seriously considers hallucinating is the answer to what is happening.
It takes Harry a good 10 seconds to finally get the hell off of her after practically falling on top of her because of the trance he seemed to be in.
He always did love her eyes.
“God, m’so sorry, I can’t believe I just did that - holy shit…” he’s rambling and Y/N knows he only rambles when he’s nervous.
“Harry, it’s okay. I’m fine.”
“Are you, though?”
And that’s the question that has absolutely nothing to do with the last thing she said.
Is she okay? Did she find someone else? Is he better than Harry? Is she engaged? Is she married?
He also was prone to exaggerating things to an extent.
There’s no ring on her finger but there’s also no sign of regret.
She’s so incredibly hard to read and Harry always struggled with that. She’s like a mystery that’s just waiting to be solved.
“Harry, I don’t think-”
“Please. Jus’, tell me one thing.”
She appears to be hesitant in her decision because she knows exactly what he’s about to ask. This isn’t what normally happens, right? You don’t randomly bump into an old love after 5 years and rehash on distant decisions.
“I told you that day.”
Harry thinks that’s a load of fucking bullshit.
“You didn’t. Don’t act like I don’ know yeh, Y/N. I know when you’re not telling the truth. You didn’t tell me the truth that day and you’re still not.”
He doesn’t mean to come off so forward and confrontational but he blames it on five years of hopeless thinking about why in the hell did she leave him?
“This is crazy, I can’t- we haven’t seen each other in over 5 years!”
She’s absentmindedly pushing him back out of reflex. She made the decision that day, and he couldn’t be apart of it. Sometimes she blames herself, that it was a selfish thing to abandon him from. But she did it for him.
“There’s so much I’ve wanted to tell you and I can’t take back any decision I’ve made. I loved you and you were amazing but I was so damn scared-”
“Fuck that,” He interrupts her with the shake of his head because everything she’s saying is driving him crazy, “I loved yeh and yeh just left! ‘Said no for the love of God! Then you decide ‘hm let’s crush him even more and disappear for no fuckin’ reason!’. If I was so amazing how could you leave me like that?”
Her eyes are brimming with tears she hasn’t felt in so long. If guilty could be used Y/N would say it was an understatement. The tears of heartbreak and if anyone can define the word heartbreak it would be Harry and Y/N.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I left for you and I know that sounds like bullshit but it’s the truth! Your career was finally taking off and I could see how happy you were, how could I take that away from you?”
Harry’s awestruck. Simply and completely awestruck. How can she even say this? They were in it together. They grew up together, they were eachother’s wingmen, they were eachother’s first love. They went through everything together.
“No, you can’t do that. Don’ blame that shit on me. Was crushed when you left! I didn’t leave my bloody apartment for 2 damn weeks! How could you even say that? That I would be better off without my main source of happiness, such bullshit.”
When they were dating, they never fought. Harry asked Y/N out for the first dance of the year in 9th grade and they started dating the next day when those “magical sparks” went off when they shared a midnight kiss. Foolish really, because they were both only 14 and at that time they had no idea what was ahead of them.
Big stuff, evidently, because a couple years later, Harry started getting bigger and bigger. More people were noticing him and the world seemed to be much more vast than either of them would’ve expected. He wasn’t just Harry anymore, he was Harry Styles. And Y/N would admit to being scared he would forget about her. She grew up with him and if he was going to disregard her for the world, she would’ve been heartbroken. Ironic now. 15, going on 16, going on 17, going on 18 and he always made sure she felt like a princess. Better than that, in fact, because she was the Queen to his King.
And that’s exactly why Harry is so beyond confused and Y/N is so regretful of leaving him. But she was so scared. Scared of losing him to something that she wasn’t in control of keeping alive. Then he proposed and that scared her even more. And because they never ever fought, she didn’t want to start.
So, she left.
“I didn’t know how to deal with you being upset with me. You were my anchor and you had never yelled before that. I couldn’t handle it.”
“Couldn’t handle me yelling - what the fu - c'mon love, what the hell would I had been mad at you for? You were the only person in my life I could’ve never yelled at. Too special.”
Y/N’s full on crying now and Harry would admit to holding those tears back himself. How did they even end up like this? Was it fate that they ran into each other?
“Yes!” she’s taking deep breaths, trying to gain control over her emotions, “I didn’t know how in God’s name you’d react.”
He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head, more confused than ever.
“React? React to wha?”
“I was- fuck, I can’t-”
He puts his ringed hand on her shoulder and it’s then that she looks up into his eyes and the connection that is brought forth is mind numbing. Harry doesn’t like to see her so upset, it breaks his heart.
“Y/N, please don’ cry, I didn’t mean to be so forward like-”
“I was pregnant! I-I was pregnant, Harry.”
And it’s as if those words repeat over and over in his mind as they slow down to a point he can evaluate every spark of realization. But he’s stunned. Irrevocably stunned and he has no idea what to say.
“You - we were - what?” There’s no hint of anger in his voice but pure astonishment and he sounds as if he might cry. Whatever scenario he had come up with in his head would never have amounted to this.
“I don’t know what to say,” he’s talking in an octave that surely hasn’t been reached since before puberty but neither of them seem to notice.
She looks up at him with a pained smile, “She’s beautiful, Harry.”
It’s then that his whole world completely flips upside down. He has a daughter. What does she look like? Did she get his eyes or her mum’s? Did she get his nose or her mum’s?
He hopes she looks everything like her mother because if so she’s the prettiest girl in the whole world.
“Wh-what’s her name?” He has no trace of anger to the tone of his words and Y/N is completely shocked.
“Y-You’re not mad?” She’s got a little furrow of her eyebrows that creates creases on her forehead and Harry so desperately wants to kiss them away.
“How could I- Y/N, m’so sorry if yeh ever thought I wouldn’t be able to handle a family but if I’m being completely honest, raising a family with you was always my biggest dream.”
She’s got tears in her eyes again but they aren’t from sadness anymore, rather, utter happiness and pure relief that has been sitting on her shoulders for over five years.
“Darling, I know this is a lot but-”
“Victoria. Her name’s Victoria.”
He smiles then, because that’s the name she told him so very long ago she would name her first daughter.
“Tori for short, yeah?”
She giggles then and Harry really doesn’t think there’s any sound in our universe that could top it. She’s a proper angel or summat.
Both Harry and Y/N think this is their happy place. Together. Nowhere and no one else could compete with this feeling.
“Yeah, I mean, when yeh deleted all your social media it was kinda hard to track you down. Jus’ figured ya didn’t wan’ me to stalk you every other night,”
Somehow the universe has brought them even closer together because Y/N has her arms around his waist as he nuzzles into neck. Correction, their happy place is right in each other’s arms.
“Moved to Europe for a couple years, actually. Basically dropped off the face of the planet. It was just me and her for a while. Then I met someone and he was great but the problem was,” she tilts her neck up to meet his eyes, “he wasn’t you.”
The kiss they share then is one that could cause world peace. It’s something out of a movie and neither Y/N nor Harry ever want it to end. They’ve missed each other more than humanly describable.
She breaks the kiss with his lips following in a close pursuit until she pecks them once and whispers, “Come upstairs with me, would you?”
His eyes flutter around for a second and then he realizes they’re in an apartment building. A nice one at that. Does she…
“You live here?” Suddenly realization flashes across his face, “Wait, you mean to meet-”
“Yes, Harold. To meet your daughter. But if we don’t get a move along I’ll have to overtime pay the nanny so come on.”
She grabs his arm and drags him to the elevator but not before he pulls her in for another kiss.
“I love you, Y/N. S'very much.”
He looks down at her in hopes to not have scared her off again but with the most beautiful smile that could be compared to art is sent his way, he’d say he’s doing okay.
“I love you, too. And I’m sorry for breaking your heart,”
“But you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” He interrupts her with promise holding eyes.
Young love is filled with many things. Adrenaline, lust, and danger. You almost always get burned. Really, it’s something that should be outlawed.
It’s a good thing Y/N and Harry love breaking the rules.
feedback is very much appreciated. send me an ask if you liked it or wanted to suggest something or even if you were confused on something. love talking to you guys xx