one of my dean moments

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#SPN 10 countdown challenge  |  day 1 - episode 1, season 1
What the hell are you doing here?

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#SPN 10 countdown challenge  |  day 13 - episode 13, season 4
I want to be normal.

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the way we started made it 
something cursed from the start
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6.22 | Reasons I love Sam: [ 12/∞ ]:
↳ He took back lifetimes of damaging Cage memories so he could be with Dean.

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For @freedomcas ♡ [want one?]

7.09 | How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters
↳”Are you kidding? I’m fine! I - I actually feel great. The best I’ve felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don’t even care anymore.”

But you never changed. Not really.
—  Dean (Six Word Story)

I’m just…so happy with the Dean and Cas interaction in that episode. I don’t just mean the affirmation of feelings, like the stuff Cas said to Hannah about priorities and feelings although that was nice. But looking back over the 7 year progression and in particular the insights and the blind spots Cas has but the progression too and Dean’s character development too. The last scene where Dean says to Cas, so simply, “I’m glad you’re here, man” (and I already tag-talked about how Dean looks away and can’t hold Castiel’s gaze and how that was played with a lot of emotion)…but mostly? It was simple and quiet and direct and that made my heart swell. And Cas getting why demon Dean was such a temptation for Dean, all the pain and weight Dean carries and how demon Dean was a way to be free of it for a little while. 4.01 Cas was regarding Dean as a curiosity, I think he felt some odd kind of pity he probably couldn’t identify, but he got it then too…but not like he gets it now. Now it’s empathy, actually feeling it *with* Dean not just oh look at this curious human. There’s a lot of sadness radiating from Cas in this ep, rather than observationally interesting vibe.  And then Cas almost does a brush off with “it wasn’t you…” and then he catches himself and says “well, not ALL you.” I think right there, he does get it, and isn’t dismissing Dean’s feelings or why Dean would do and say what he did while under the influence of being a demon version of himself.

It’s why I like their “couple of dumbasses” exchange in Road Trip. Similar quiet, simple, direct face to face stuff. 

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What’s all this? It’s – it’s Christmas.

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10 Days until Season 10
"10 Most Memorable Moments of Season 9" → Dean (2/10)
Day 9: 9x05 "Dog Dean Afternoon"

“If you eat enough predators you start to become one”, he said to you. And while you only asked him if he thinks that the power he holds over other people’s lives can really make up for what he lacks in his own - and with that revealing so much about yourself - in the end you were so very similar to him, weren’t you? You became the predator. Enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the hunt - the same way you seemed to enjoy it in purgatory. Your heart beat out of your chest, your wide eyes and that little smile when leading him on didn’t have anything to do with the mind melt, did it? No, it was all you. It was the darkness that you have always carried within, but have always been too afraid to embrace, fearing you’d be swallowed whole.

One of my all time favorite moments on Supernatural is the moment when Dean connects the Horesemen’s Rings. They could have put Death’s ring in the middle (to bind them all), as to say that death connects the illness, war and hunger.
But instead, they put WAR as the middle ring, as to say that it is the couse - the thing to draw death, illness and hunger towards it. Beautiful.