This is part one of a two part story in which Harry wants to use the Hendall ship to be in the news more. His girlfriend isn’t too fond of that idea though. I hope you’ll like this story. According to Wattpad, it’ll take about 5 minutes to read. Also, I’m using Kendall’s name because of her relationship to Harry. I don’t have anything against her personally.
Coming home to him was what I thought about the minute I shut the door behind me when I left in the morning. He would be asleep, now that he got to stay home more and I’d have to leave him behind with his cheeks flushed and his plumb lips slightly open as he snore quietly. The urge to kiss him would sometimes overwhelm me and I’d steal a small peck. When I came home he always told me that he loved the gentle kisses I gave in the morning. That it gave him a sense of what we were, each other’s.
And it was because of this that I would never have imagined what tumbled from his lips that night. I was absorbed into a different world when Harry sat down by my side and carefully pulled my book from my grasp, trying to make me give him my full attention.
“We need to talk about something. S'important, love.”
His words worried me at first, but I relaxed when he smiled warmly. I scooted back on the bed to make more space for him and sat into a cross-legged position.
“What is it?”
Harry cleared his throat and pushed some of his hair back that had fallen into his face. I resisted to grin, admiring how handsome and genuinely beautiful he was. I loved the way his green eyes sparkled in contrast to his black shirt and how soft the skin of his neck looked. The pink of his lips.
“Remember how I told you that I would be meeting with Jeff today to discuss some ideas he had?”
I nodded, recalling it to have been a few nights ago when we were cuddled up in bed.
“Did it go well?”
“Yeah. He’s got some pretty cool ideas for what the guys and me should do for our comeback. We really need to get right back into business, you know?”
“You will,” I said confidently. “You’re adored so deeply as well as widely.”
“I sure hope so,” he chuckled. “But there is this one thing Jeff proposed I should do. He said it’d be in order for people to not forget about me. And you won’t be too fond of it, but I must remind you that it would be really good for me.”
When the only answer he got was a frown he continued, his fingers twitching nervously in his lap.
“Y/N, there have been a lot of pictures of us together lately. In a restaurant, you and me grocery shopping, entering this house.”
“None of them are displays of affection. They’re no prove that we’re dating,” I interrupted quietly.
We had agreed to keep our relationship as private as we possibly could. Only immediate family and friends knew. And Harry’s management of course. Naturally, we did spend time together outside our apartment and of course paps occasionally snapped pictures of us, but with neither of us commenting on them, there wasn’t much of a story for anyone to tell.
“I know that,” Harry agreed, “but Jeff says that he gets questions about us every day. He’s worried for our relationship and how I’m gonna be treated by the public once I’ll get back into the spotlight.”
“So you mean he’s worried for your image.”
Harry hesitated before muttering: “He doesn’t want every question in the interviews we’ll give to be one that I can’t answer honestly.”
“I understand that,” I assured him, lacing my fingers with his gently, “but I’m already worried about Jeff’s proposition.”
A small smile danced on his lips when I caressed his cross tattoo on the back of his hand.
“It isn’t that bad,” Harry mumbled, though he avoided meeting my eyes. He took a deep breath. “Jeff wants me to kiss Kendall and have some paps photograph it.”
His tone was slightly higher than usual and I was hoping that he was joking.
My voice stayed surprisingly calm for someone who’d just been told that her boyfriend was to make out with one of his ex girlfriends. I knew that he was still on good terms with her and that they occasionally met up when he went to LA, but he always assured that their friendship was solely platonic. And now they were to change that for it to be her in the pictures and not me?
“Magazines would talk about it for a while and it’d allow rumors about us to calm down again. He’s throwing a party next weekend and thinks it would be the perfect place.”
“I know he is,” I said dubiously and pulled my hand from his grasp. “You invited me to go with you, remember? Are you just gonna take Kendall instead while I’m to stay home and act the good girl?”
“Actually,” Harry began but trailed off when he finally met my eyes.
“What?” I growled.
He took a deep breath. “Jeff says it’d be ideal for you to be there as well. Just to make it more believable. I would leave with Kendall n'maybe give the paps some PDA while you leave shortly after. Or the other way around. It doesn’t matter really so you can choose. ”
“Oh jeez, thanks, Harry.”
I let out a harsh breath and shot off the bed. Harry watched as I stomped over to the window, putting space between us.
“What happens if I say no?” I asked, finally my voice reflected my emotions by trembling.
Harry scratched the back of his neck. “S'not really an option. Kendall already said she’d be fine with it.”
“Of course she is.”
He dropped his head and pushed himself off the bed as well.
“Look, it’s only half as bad as you think it is right now. It will all be a show to please everyone and that’s it. You n'me are still together aft-”
“Are we?” I shrieked.
My fingers shook heavily, my vision was blurred as my eyes drowned with tears and Harry watched me with an almost frightened expression on his face. I felt like laughing at him. He had obviously expected this to go much different. Easier I supposed. With less resistance and more understanding on my part. But how could I? It felt like he was willingly replacing me with her.
“I mean,” I began and backed off when he moved closer to me, “Jeff knows right? And you know that you’re my boyfriend, right? Not hers. And that I am your girlfriend, not her. That it’s me who’s coming home to you, not-”
“It’s not about her, Y/N!” he interrupted, his voice resounding from the walls. “I know that I’m with you-”
“Then why can’t I be the only one who kisses you?” I yelled and forcefully pushed away his outstretched hands when he reached for me.
I stepped further back and held up my own hand, signaling him not to come any closer.
“I can’t understand how you could possibly think that I would agree to this. Why would I?”
Harry turned away and pulled at his hair in frustration. “I thought you cared about me doing well in my career, that’s why.”
“Oh, don’t you pull that shit on me,” I said, the tears falling rapidly. “You’re my best friend and I love you. Of course I want you to do well.”
His green eyes sparkled with sympathy when he turned to look at me as my fingers hastily brushed the water from beneath my eyes. Guilt crossed his features.
“It’s not fair of you to try and bribe me,” I mumbled.
He stayed silent and the only noise remaining was my heavy breathing mixed with the faint sound of traffic outside. When he spoke his voice was quiet and careful.
“I can ask Jeff if you being there is really necessary,” he tried to soothe me.
“That’s not the point, Harry.”
He shook his head and let himself fall back down on the mattress with a groan, hiding his face behind his palms. I wrapped my arms around my middle and stared at him wordlessly. When he removed his hands again he spoke with finality in his voice.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. Truly. But this is going to happen. I understand why you’re not thrilled. M'sorry about that. But you’re making this a bigger deal than it has to be and I’m sure that if you’d just went along with it, you’d see that it’s the best solution for our problem.”
The compassion hadn’t quite left his eyes, but he looked at me like the discussion we were having was over. Like it was him who had ultimately the last say in this. I raised my eyebrows. My bottom lip quivered when I spoke.
“Then it’s going to happen without me.”
“That can be arranged. M'sure Jeff’ll understand that you don’t want to be there when-”
“No”, I interrupted quietly. “I mean, then it will happen completely without me.”
Harry tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing. He looked so lovely. Even with his forehead glistening and his curls a mess on top of his head from being pushed back roughly repeatedly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to continue.
“Either you stay with me and don’t do this, or you kiss her, but then you and I are over.”
His mouth dropped open and he got back to his feet. I was glad when he didn’t try to move closer again.
“You’d break up with me?”
My heart hurt at how soft and vulnerable his voice sounded. The green eyes filled with disappointment as his jaw tensed and the vain in his neck got more visible. I cleared my throat.
“I don’t want to be with you when I’m not good enough for your standards.”
“Who said anything of that?” Harry asked, annoyance clear in his tone.
“You did when you said kissing Kendall would be good for you and the solution for our problem!” I shouted, emphasizing the last word.
I forced myself not to back away again. Fighting with Harry felt awful and wrong. Our relationship was always one of loving words, not arguments. He always playfully said that he was more of a lover than a fighter anyway.
“I get it, okay? Having pictures of you and a hot model cruising through the internet is way better than pictures of us.”
“Y/N”, Harry tried, but there was nothing for him to say. He had already said enough.
“I feel like you’re asking if it’s okay for you to cheat on me and it’s not.”
“It’d be for my fucking job, Y/N!”
“It says nowhere in your contract that you have to make out with a model to hide your relationship, Harry! This is just a stupid idea from your manager to hide your problem, as you put it, and for some reason you find it a brilliant one! Your career wouldn’t suffer if you’d refuse this proposition.”
Harry looked at me like he couldn’t believe what I had just said.
“You’re just being difficult. You won’t break up with me over something this insignificant. It’s just a fucking kiss for god’s sake.”
And with that, we walked out on me, leaving me by the window with tears rolling down my cheeks. He didn’t even look back. I jumped when the sound of our front door shutting echoed. Not quite believing he just left I let out a broken hiss and angrily brushed the rest of my tears away. My feet carried me to our wardrobe where I stood onto my tiptoes to reach my duffle bag. I felt my heart break into pieces but I knew that I was doing what was right. I loved Harry. I truly did. But if he couldn’t see that he was mine as much as I was his, then this relationship wasn’t a healthy one. His words kept replaying in my head. You won’t break up with me over something this insignificant.
“Like hell I won’t.”
The sun hid behind heavy grey clouds as the trees marking the way swung back and forth with the wind. I shuddered. It felt as if the London air refused to stay warm for even one minute longer after sunset. My fingers pulled at the sleeves of my shirt and it only now occurred to me how long I must’ve stayed out. When I left Y/N standing in our bedroom the thin material had been more than enough to keep me comfortable. I scratched the back of my neck, guilt spreading from the pit of my stomach up to my throat. The keys between my fingers shook heavily as I noticed the lack of light in the house in front of me.
By coincident my former schoolfriend John had come to the city and after leaving Y/N to cool off I decided to pay him a visit. He hadn’t met Y/N and I wondered if it was smart to go to him after an argument with her. Usually the person I talked to was Gemma, though it wasn’t like Y/N and I fought often, on the contrary. She was always understanding, loving and too kind for the world. This had been the first time where she hadn’t supported one of my decisions, even when she disagreed, she at least supported me. How she couldn’t see that me getting associated with Kendall Jenner was a good thing, was beyond me. Of course I understood jealousy. God knows I felt it often enough, but this wasn’t about being unfaithful to her, it was about promoting myself. Furthermore, a happy management meant more pay and more favors, like days off.
Due to John not knowing Y/N, I figured if anyone wouldn’t hesitate to call me out if I was in the wrong, it’d be him. And he was.
While yelling back and forth with her, it was a mystery to me how Y/N could possibly act the way she did. Why she refused being a help in my career, her, the person meant to always support me, even when it meant me having a meaningless make out session with Kendall. But after voicing my request a second time, the realization of how much of an asshole I’d been came crushing down onto me. Of course she couldn’t bear the thought of watching me kiss my ex girlfriend, no matter how fleeting our relationship had been. The mere thought of another man’s lips pressing against her soft ones made my insides turn. John had sighed and even admitted his surprise that she didn’t slap me. I found myself wishing she would’ve so we’d be somehow even.
“Don’t get me wrong”, John had assured, “I’ve seen Kendall and if I had the chance then I certainly wouldn’t push her out of bed. Tell you what, there’s hardly anything I wouldn’t do to have those legs wrapped around-”
“What’s your point?”
John had barked a laugh and reached out to clap my shoulder. “Your girl, Y/N, only has to cross your mind and your whole face lights up. I’d say you’re pretty whipped.”
I cleared my throat, nodding at his statement. I truly hadn’t ever been as in love with someone as I was now. Maybe that was somehow an explanation to why I sometimes struggled to
“I know you have to stay popular and all”, John had spoken gently, squeezing my arm, “but is it worth losing the girl who has you completely smitten with her and is just as utterly smitten with you?”
No. The word I spoke before practically running out of John’s hotel room and the word echoing in my head now as the fear crept up my chest. Our home looked so empty. My stomach felt as if in knots when I discovered that our front door was locked. It seemed odd, since Y/N wouldn’t have left our home without securing it, I’d reminded her of that often enough. There were no lights on, and even when she slept she normally left at least one lamp alight. But she couldn’t have left me this fast, right?
After not spotting her in our living room against my predictions, I quietly made my way to the stairs. I skipped the last few as I hurried up into our bedroom where I had left her. But this room, too, was empty. Instead, on the very bed Y/N and I had spend a night filled with kisses and whispered promises less than 24 hours ago, were our sheets in a heap and the shirt and shorts of mine she had been wearing today. My heart stopped and salty water shot to my eyes, drowning them instantly. She really was gone.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Feedback is always welcome and so are requests. :)
Has anybody else cried over the fact that we’re going to get to see Carrying the Banner, The World Will Know, Seize the Day, King of New York and Once and For All performed by a 40 person cast rather than a 28 person cast? Like imagine the crescendos and the dancing and the harmonies. Imagine the harmonies.