I’m Not The Only One (Bucky Barnes x reader)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: Based off the song ‘I’m Not The Only One’ by Sam Smith. Nothing else mattered but the truth, but sometimes, the truth hurts. In this case, it was heartbreaking.
Requested: yes (anons)
Here’s that fluffy angst for you all! And before I continue, I would never portray any of the marvel mcu like this, but it’s the imagine so:) There will be a PART 2 so I hope u all like!!<33 you can listen to the song here
You and me, we made a vow. For better or for worse. I can’t believe you let me down, but the proof’s in the way it hurts.
“This is so beautiful,” you gently whispered in Bucky’s ear, leaning your head down gingerly on his comfortable and familiar shoulder. Your eyes pierced through the orange and pink blazing across the mid afternoon sky in a loving daze. Your heart warmed at the thought of such a pure and devoted afternoon with the man you loved with every bone in your body.
Bucky’s deep breaths fanned across the setting sky and wrapped his arm around your figure, bringing you closer to his comforting frame as he whispered back to you, his words sending shivers down your spine, “Almost as beautiful as you.”
Your insides turned gooey as your heart did the unrecognizable thump against your chest, your affection for him never washing away for a second. You blushed the color of the beautiful sunset before the both of you, your eyes swaying to the motion of the sky for the next few minutes. After minutes have passed, you feel the warmth of your figure leave as Bucky pulled slowly away from you, your shoulders becoming cold without the warmth for his body touching you.
Confused, you turn towards him and sit up against the park bench, hands pushing down on the now vacant spot next to you. Eyebrows furrowing with disorientation as you scanned his tall and muscular figure that was standing next to the bench, his head turned the other way, hands digging deep into his pockets.
Scooting over closer to him, you reach out and gently touch his arm in comfort, “Hey, what’s wrong?” you question, concern lacing through your words.
He feels the spark of your finger grazing his arm and he whips around to face you once again, eyes wide with anxiety, “W-Well,” he stutters out, hand coming up to grasps his jaw in worry.
You got up, worried at his sudden change of demeanor and move to face him, placing your hands on his shoulders, “What?” you answer, the tightness in his shoulders letting go as soon as he feels your captivating touch.
All of the sudden, he nods his head back in forth, almost as if he was debating with himself on what his next action would be. You watched him with caution and narrowed your eyes in concern.
Before you knew it, Bucky’s figured switched from gazing over you to moving below you, his right knew propped up on the ground as he bent down on the other. Your eyes and mouth grew with every movement, watching him with bewilderment at what his next move would be. Excitement flew through your veins and your stomach twisted into a knot.
“Y/N, I will always love you, you know that right? I would never hurt you, ever,” he questioned you, hand reaching in his pocket to grasp the new object, his eyes urging yours to not in understanding.
The love crackled between your two bodies as you choked out a 'Yes’, your sudden feelings catching the best of you due to the sudden situation. Bucky’s mesmerizing smile spread across his face, his icey blue-green eyes dragging you in to yet another trance.
He scoots closer, grasping the black box in his hand, the nerves pulsing his veins in such a exciting manner he felt as if his head was spinning. He gazed at your nearly crying figure and the love poured out of him as he asked you the long awaited four words.
“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”
Your emotions did the talking for you, your head nodding vigorously as his question, your heart answering what your mouth couldn’t seem to do. His nerves exploded in his stomach as he slid the glistening ring on your finger. Your bodies collided along with your lips, the adoration and anxiety all washing over the both of you at once as your lips grazed each other’s in searing kiss. The once alluring sunset had vanished, leaving you two to have the most beautiful scene in the moment.
Nothing could have ruined that affectionate moment and the electricity of love that ignited in your veins. Your love was over the moon, your mind never second guessing his question for a second. He was the love of your life, he was going to love you for as long as he possibly could.
What you didn’t know, was that the vow you had sworn on your wedding day, the vow that caused your heart to close for one person and one person only, was broken in no time.
For months on end I’ve had my doubts, denying every tear. I wish this would be over now, but I know that I still need you here.
Two years later…
“Buck, where are you going? It’s Saturday,” you questioned your husband of two years as he gripped his brown leather jacket in one hand and his cell phone in the other.
Buck whipped his head around to scan your confused demeanor quickly as you questioned him. He watched as your tired Y/E/C eyes rolled over from him to the clock, the anxiety within him stirring as you asked him, “S-Steve wanted some help moving into his new place.”
You watched the stutter slip through his lying lips once again, your mind connecting the anxiety, stutter, and time management together as yet another lie. Your cold fingers etched themselves against the warm mug that was held against the palm of your hand. Fingers lightly tapping the white ceramic in examination of Bucky standing before you like a deer in headlights.
Pink lips turning from a usual depicted frown to a small, genuine-looking smile at his weary figure reaching for the door handle, you got up and made way to him slowly. The back of your mind fished for one of your many forgiving responses as you set a hand on his shoulder, “Okay, I’ll see you later,” you elevated up slightly, planting a cold kiss upon his scruffy cheek.
The feeling of your cold yet loving lips against his skin made his heart ache and regret wash over him once more. His mind wasn’t thinking as he smiled slightly at your groggy figure, opening the front door and leaving to portray all the love and affection he provided you once, to someone else.
Bucky exited the door, leaving you alone to sort out the scandalous and unforgivable actions he was playing beyond your eyes. Your mind was no longer wracking for a solution to stir upon him once he walked in the door with the stench of expensive, sour smelling perfume circling upon his clothes. Or to daringly ask him how he received such a purple bruise from you that day, especially when you haven’t kissed his greedy, pink lips in over a week. There was nothing else to be said or done. Your thoughts no longer left you stranded alone in your shared bedroom, the anemic and damaging ears blurring your vision of what was being played before you. Your pillow soaked with lies and heartbreak gripped underneath your trembling body as shaky breaths emitted from your chapped lips day, after day, after day. after day.
Your heart could no longer fracture itself at the thought of Bucky’s lips against someone else’s. His smiles being witnessed by someone of lesser love for him than you. You had dried yourself of any more mournful and heartbroken feelings. The constant acts of forgiveness he would supply because of his presence, no longer affected you anymore. Nothing was strong enough after two months of dismal play on his part, to ignite another wave of regret to wash over you. The continual nights of escape were over, you were ending them.
He wasn’t worth your pain anymore.
You say I’m crazy. 'Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done. But when you call me baby, I know I’m not the only one.
“How was Steve’s?” you ask your husband as he opened the door, the sound of crickets slipping through the door frame and into your ears. His brown jacket was hanging limp over his body as he looked up to meet your gaze.
Your attention snapped from the TV to him, awaiting his new round of false answers and heavily formulated responses that consisted of code words for the term 'sex’. Bucky’s eyes watched your seemingly calm figure turn to look at him as he whipped out a new and improved casual response, “It was good, yeah. His new place is really nice,” he responded, the casual exterior of the comment flooding your knowing demeanor.
You shook your head slowly at his response, turning our attention back to the TV, making it seem like you believed his cursory lie. Pursing your lips, your mind scanned through endless possibilities on how you would begin to topic of conversation that would end in complete and utter controversy. Out of the corner of your eyes, your orbs carefully yet skillfully watching him and his moves intently. Your mind picked which action to throw upon on him first, his figure coming to sit down in the chair nearest you. He kicked off his brown boots, propping his feet up on the ottoman. Your lips pursed and switched your gaze back to the TV head on as you witnessed his eyes pierce your mysterious ones quickly.
Deciding to act on the manner for once, your brain ripped out a hasty response, eyes and head still fixated on the bright picture of the screen before you, “Is Steve’s place the new excuse?”
The response danced in your ears and your heart did a rapid 'thump’ as you quietly awaited his response. Your eyes narrowed over to him, seeing his head whip towards your sudden comment.
Bucky’s nervous voice hit your ears and you daringly decided to take your attention from TV to your dishonest husband approaching next to your strong demeanor, “What?” he let out, almost sounding defensive toward you. This caused your pulse to accelerate and your mind to flip from calm to defensive as well.
“Cut the fucking bullshit, Buck,” the words dripped like venom off your tongue, whipping your head to meet his guilt-stricken eyes. You tensed as his figure straightened in the chair, his full attention now focused on you and you only.
“Y/N, what are you-” he attempted to say, the defensive aspect of his lie already diminishing poorly on him.
“Don’t, don’t you dare sit here and lie to me again. Do you think I’m that big of a fucking idiot?” your voice had risen, your mouth nor your thoughts shutting you down at all. This was the moment you would never allow him to deceive you again. You were ripping this into him finally, and you weren’t about to stop.
You continued, watching his figure and facial expressions grow guilty and wrongful by the second, “This is it, Bucky! The excuses that roll of your lips every time you walk out that door are done, they’re goddamn over with! So, don’t you dare try to slide by me ever again, because this is the moment I finally let you have it,” your features were scrunched in heartbreak yet anger as the eyes you once loved to dive in to, could no longer meet yours in truth.
He muttered at you, head directed down at the floor, arms planted on his knees in defeat, heavy breaths emitting from him each second, “Y/N! You’re crazy if you-”
“Oh my god, Bucky! Is this a fucking joke? Don’t you dare try and flip this around to cause me to portray the bad guy! Y-You know what you’ve done and your coward ass is too afraid to admit it!” you roared at him, hands flying everywhere, emotions pouring in and out of you every second the conversation leads closer and closer to the truth.
“Say it, Buck! I want to hear you fucking say it!”
As those words dripped off your lips, the room became cold and quiet, any outside noise being canceled out. Nothing else mattered, but the truth. Your heart pounded against your chest and your pulse was on fire at this point. Everything inside you ached by now, but you didn’t care.
Bucky’s down-casted demeanor looked up to hit your glaring, hurting orbs that were intently staring a hole through him. His body was close to sobbing as the heartbroken expression on your once gentle features hit his heart like a truck.
His eyes glazed over with tears, the usual bright color now gone along with the false confessions. The energy between you two no longer existed, all the adoration and love, had vanished.
“I-I cheated on you.”
The words you knew were approaching stung, your body becoming limp and your thoughts washed away with affection and truth. Your husband, the love of your life, was no longer who you thought he was.
You and him were no longer.