So wait. Uncle Popeye got beat up by a gamecock? Aren't those things like, three pounds soaking wet?
OH NO ITS BETTER THAN THAT.
Popeye got beat up by an AMERICAN WOODCOCK, which is… I’ll allow this video to explain:
They walk like that because any reasonable carnivore looks at that and goes “That can’t possibly be food.” They’re also called “Timberdoodles” have nearly rear-facing eyes, upside-down brains, and go “PrrrEENT”. They’re basically real-life cuddly cryptids,
and they’re like, 8 ounces. Tops.
BUT POPEYE MANAGES TO FUCK THIS UP.
Popeye got it into his head that he should train Grandma’s weirdo terrier mix “Spooky” to be a bird Dog, mostly because grandpa wouldn’t go hunting with him after Popeye shot him in the foot. Grandma, already having two children, two normal cats, a profoundly stupid cat, a canary and a tarantula to look after, decided to let Spooky go with him.
“She’ll be good supervision for him.” grandma said.
We’re not sure what made Popeye think Spooky would be a good bird dog, because if all the dogs of the world were one together, what was left over was Spooky, to paraphrase my favorite Celtic fairy tale. She was about 35lbs of smooth-coated solid black with long legs and half a tail. She was named “Spooky” for the white patch on her chest that grandma said looked like a ghost late at night. Spooky never barked, only made agitated garbage disposal noises and whistle-snorts.
But off into the Ohio Woods Popeye goes with Spooky, who is less than thrilled with this because she’d been a stray before, and was now very pleased with this new life of couches, indoor heating and fattening table scraps. She does Not Like the woods. The woods are cold and wet and full of ticks and she’d rather be at home, under the radiator perhaps.
Eventually, they come across a woodcock, not in the woods but in the parking lot of the 7-11 after getting lost in the woods and deciding to get a slurpee and hot dog instead. Spooky is halfway through eating her hot dog, sees the Woodcock derping along, and decides that Processed meat is better than whatever the fuck that is, and goes back to her hot dog.
Popeye decides to *demonstrate* what Spooky is supposed to do… by getting on his hands and knees and trying to jump on the woodcock to catch it with his mouth.
Spooky decided that this is madness, and goes home to collect my grandmother to come save his ass. This was impressive, as spooky had no sense of direction and a slurpee cup stuck on her face when she arrived.
By the time Grandma got down there, Popeye had gotten clawed in the face, pecked directly in the eye, eaten pavement, had the police called on him, and broke his wrist.
She did, however, get to see the bird as it came down from the roof. It perched on his ass, Prreent-ed, and shat on him.
This is so long I’m so sorry!!! Anyway, Tom Holland Peter Parker X Reader, enjoy!!!!
Word Count: 2603
Summary: After a princess filled movie night, you tell Peter your princess dreams. Being the person he is, he decides to try and make that dream a reality.
“I wonder what it’s like.” You pulled your legs up onto the couch, sitting on top of them.
“What what’s like?” Your best friend, Peter Parker, sat on the floor in front of the couch, a bowl of popcorn in his lap.
“Being a princess. For real.” You grabbed the TV remote and clicked the off button, turning the previously colorful screen black. “Can’t you just imagine it, Pete?”
“Oh yeah, that princess life would be awesome.”
“Oh, you know what I meant,” you said with a laugh, swinging a pillow in his direction. He dodged it with a smile, tossing a handful of popcorn in your direction to fight back. “I just think it’d be refreshing.”
“To rule an entire kingdom?”
“No, to just be somewhere new. Plus, who doesn’t want to wear a beautiful gown?” Peter opened his mouth to speak, but you swung the pillow at him again. “You know what I meant!”
“Alright, alright, truce!” Peter laughed, pulling the pillow from your grasp. “I think that’s enough princess movies for tonight.”
“Just one more,” you insisted, clicking the TV back on. “I think… Beauty and the Beast should close out our movie night.”
“Fine. I’ll put it in.” Peter stood to find the disk and put it in. “Am I Adam or Belle this time?”
“Adam. I’m Belle, obviously.”
“Oh, right. You’re in a princess mood.” Peter pressed play and took his spot on the floor again, bowl of popcorn secure in his lap. He could hear you take in a breath as you prepared to sing the first song of the movie.
While out on a routine sweep in the desert, John and
one of his teammates get lost in a sandstorm and end up at the foot of
an enormous palace. They meet - and anger - a cursed prince who spares
their life in exchange for John staying behind. But the prince has a
secret and John soon discovers it, plunging himself in a quest across
the desert fraught with danger. Loosely based on the fairy tales “Beauty and the Beast” and “East of the Sun, West of the Moon”.
Now while John isn’t exactly magical here, he’s a badass and this is great story.
Sherlock struggles with being a mate. John faces an unknown desire.
While an enemy seeks to destroy a bond and the men who share it.
Alpha/Omega dynamics. Angst and Feels abound but All Shall Be Well
Friends! Mature for now but may be Explicit in later chapters.
Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he’s kept from his flatmate,
Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him.
Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to
An Omega/Guide John. He’s awesome in this one. One of my favorite series. He has some pretty kick ass abilities.
Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color.We’re all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception.
Tell me you’ve read Colors?? One of my favorite fics <3
In the latter part of the 19th century, a peculiar solitary man and an
ex-army doctor disfigured at war live in a small village, surrounded by
breathtaking landscapes. When they first meet, they have no idea their
lives are about to change forever and, over the months, they will form
an unusual friendship, discover more about each other and themselves,
and maybe fall a little in love along the way.
I have read this fic so many times. I love it so much.
In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a
young age, at 17 John Watson believes he’s destined for Normal life but
then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There
he meets Sherlock Holmes.
Sooo ! I wrote this for the wonderful @reioka! I really hope you like your wing fic! :) (mobile readers watch out for the cut)
Tony groans and rolls back to his other side, but that hurts even more.
He can’t lie on his back at all, so he turns onto his tummy. Better. But
now he is awake anyway.
“Good morning, Sir.” says Jarvis and Tony opens his eyes.
“Define good.” Tony mutters into his pillow. God he doesn’t want to
stand up, or get out of bed for that matter, but he has this meeting
with Pepper and the executive board about the new arc reactor that he
already used for the energy in the tower.
“The sun is shining, Sir.” answers Jarvis and without another warning he
opens the blinds. Tony whines. Not that there was anyone who could hear
it. Tony turns his head to his right and sighs.
Carefully he pets the cold side of the bed next to him. He wishes there
would be someone to wake up to. Someone who would take him just the way
“Sir?” asks Jarvis and Tony just nods. He sits up and hisses in pain, when his wings brush against the headboard of the bed.
More like what is left of them.
“Which colour today, Sir?” asks Jarvis and opens Tony’s wardrobe. Tony
stands up and goes over the wardrobe. Jarvis isn’t talking about his
suits, shoes or even his sunglasses.
He is asking Tony what wings he wants to wear today.
“Blue and white.” Tony whispers then and Jarvis pull the wings up. Tony bites his bottom lip and nods. They look beautiful. They were the first wings he made for himself…after…
The wings are a really light baby-blue and the tips are completely
white. If the sun shines on them, they are so bright that Tony can feel
jealous stares on him when he wears them. Yeah they are beautiful.
One morning, back when there were no screens on windows, and no one worried about bird flu, a woman woke up to a pigeon standing on her chest. She loved birds and birds admired her as well, so she greeted the pigeon with a smile. She looked at the bird’s foot and saw that it had been injured. She said “Oh, poor bird. I‘ll fix you.” She bandaged up the bird and sent it on its way.
The pigeon returned a day later with a message tied around its healed leg. It was from the King. “Thanks for fixing my bird. Are you DTF?” The girl immediately wrote back, “I’d rather fuck this pigeon.” and sent it along.
The pigeon returned an hour later with another message from the King who wrote: “Joke’s on you, I am the pigeon. I need a spell to be broken to turn back into a king. The only way to do it is to give me one kiss.” The king also included a dick pic of his original, human penis (not the pigeon one).
The woman was aghast, but also flattered, but also remembered this sort of behavior was not OK. Days passed, and she didn’t respond. The pigeon kept coming back to see if she would respond. She didn’t. The pigeon eventually died, and the woman felt no remorse. The pigeon didn’t even turn into a king or anything after it died. It just fell to the ground and some mice ate it.
“Good riddance” the woman thought. “It probably wasn’t even a king, anyway.”
A few years later the woman got anthrax from a sheep and died. She became a ghost and immediately was sent to Hell where the King also resided (they both went there because he was an asshole who didn’t bother feeding his own people, and she was there for the obvious bestiality). The King tried to open up a dialogue with her, but the ghost didn’t answer for all eternity. She was still mad about the unsolicited dick pic.
And that’s why when someone doesn’t text you back, we call it “ghosting.” In most cases, it is deserved.
Genres/Tags: Fluff and Humor, Alternate Universe - Beauty and the Beast, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings
Rating: Teen and Up
Crown Prince Viktor Nikiforov once had the world at his fingertips; he was rich and powerful and handsome, and he had everything his heart desired. Now, he is a Beast, imprisoned by an Enchantress’ spell; hiding away from the world in the never-ending winter of his shame.
Katsuki Yuuri is… odd, to say the least. Beautiful, but odd. While the rest of the villagers put one foot firmly in front of the other, Yuuri would rather loose himself to his dancing and his daydreams; always wishing for something more than his provincial life.
Each is captive to circumstances beyond their control; trapped by unbreakable spells and impossible dreams. However, an unlikely meeting is about to change everything.
Hope makes a final play for their salvation as the sands of time run out; but as Yuuri and Viktor learn to find themselves in one another, they also make discoveries that they’re completely unprepared for … some wondrous, some wretched … and some treacherous enough to permanently tear them apart.
For who could ever learn to love a Beast?
Review about the fic: It’s not everyday that you tend to find crossovers from either fairy tales (or at least the Disney versions). Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. However this one not only take references of both the animated version of 1991 and 2017 reboot, but most likely the original fairy tale source.
I, myself, am a sucker for mythology and folklore thanks to my favorite podcast Myths and Legends, and combine that with a favorite pairing, I’m immediately on board.
Currently work in progress since Silver_Scribbles is new to the AO3 website as well as it was her very first work. But from what I read, while it takes some inspiration from all three sources but managed to make it a bit more original.
Every single character (both current and about to appear) have certain roles filled into the Beauty and the Beast cast, and my absolute favorite is Phichit, taking on Maurice’s role as the eccentric (maybe) tinker/inventor and his beloved hamsters being field mice. You can tell that he is Yuuri’s brother, blood be darned.
The best thing I like about this fanfic is how the writer kept everyone (so far that we have seen) in character, and I’m interested on what kind of roles the rest will play at Beast!Victor’s castle. The update is kinda slow but the wait will be worth it.
shimmers, the sky fragments into aqua crystals. Surely entropy is nigh? Reality
is pulsing! I tell you that every moment throbs, every second you are born
Identity is a myth; we are all stardust that explodes in ashes. We must descend into the dirt, regenerate a thousand times.
dance before our eyes; you wield your white magic with childlike laughter and a
lily-white dress. I chase you to the park and kiss you on the swings. I’m
possessed by an arch angel and existence seems surreal and sweet.
floss melted instantly on my tongue, I devoured cherry lolly pops, cinnamon gum
and chocolate milk. Blood sugar overdrive, hallucinations blossom inside my
brain, spun from sugar, flavored with fantasy. I tear flower petals in my
hands; I fall drunkenly into muddy fields.
smile-is this joy real? Am I only high from candy illusions? I cannot be mere
food for fear; I must dream desire into being. I need to melt into infinity,
become something more than pain.
distort within these midnight, morphine woods. Eyes blaze and follow me where
ever I go. I Run into caverns of endless fear, seek out nihilistic nightmares
because kissing death and inhaling her rancid breath keeps nausea at bay.
I’m running straight into the flames; to burn my soul alive.
I break my
teeth on peanut brittle; I break my heart on longing.
Why are we
all so alone?
floating in a universe constructed from enchanting lies.
One foot in
the abyss and the other within a fairy tale.
What do you think the Trifecta's opinions/thoughts on dating someone younger are? Who would be most/least willing to date younger?
Okay there’s a lot of Raul characters but I’m assuming the Trifecta includes Rafael, Nevada, and Jonas because those are the first three that come to mind so pleeeaaaseee tell me if I’m wrong….
& by younger I’m going to also assume we’re sticking to alegalrange.
Rafael: Of the three, Rafael would be the least likely to date someone notably younger than he is. Considering his position and what he does for a living, he’d be absolutely nervous to boot about dating someone that could be construed as naive or immature- would someone think he was taking advantage of her? I don’t think he’d be fundamentally opposed to it, but I do think his significant other would be kept a quaint little secret until he was convinced they’d be together for longer than ‘a fling’. He’d be enraged when anyone thought he was dating her because she was younger, and he’d struggle forcing her from his thoughts when handling a case about young women being assaulted after a night out. He’d be so protective, annoyingly so, and would struggle to understand why she couldn’t be as careful and diligent as he knew she needed to be in this world- maybe even pine over her naivity. Unfortunately, I’d imagine a younger girl for Rafael Barba would end up feeling like a caged canary- and he’d notice how she was wilting and eventually hope to let her go.
Nevada: Absolutely, positively, and he’d love every bit of it- but it wouldn’t last. He’d be happy to show her off (look what big bad Trujillo can reel in) and he’d be elated knowing there were young men who had youth on their side that would wonder how the Hell he managed to land that. Of course, with a younger woman comes the damned of it all: lack of maturity. Nevada would probably, eventually after the honeymoon phase where most adventures included lifting her lil’ skirt, get rather vexed by the ordeal. He’s a business man, he knows when to bite his tongue as much as he knows when to puff out his chest- and anyone he’s sticking with for the long run would absolutely require the maturity to do the same. Also comes how he has no time for jealousy, or for really caring for someone still working through their existence and searching for their ‘place in the world’ the way most younger women are- he’s got plenty on his plate without needing to worry about helping someone else find their footing in life.
Jonas: Would love it and would put that sweet lil’ thing to work. He’d love how someone younger would consider him ‘older and wiser’ or possibly fall for his magic tricks and crazy ideas easier than someone more familiar with the pitfalls of life and failure in general. He’d fill her head with stories made from fairy tales, and would swoon whenever she looked up at him through her lovely lashes. Of course, while pulling a job at a Revival, she’d simply be one of the angels- no need to make the elderly women pat their brow at the sight of him canoodling with a sweet younger woman. Plus; when he messes up (because in my opinion, Jonas Nightingale is the scummiest of the three), he loves how she’s just naive enough to accept his apologies and faux-groveling. Young women can be open books, and oh they love to talk about themselves and their feelings; and Jonas would absorb every bit of chit-chat so he’d know exactly how to twist and use it later. She’d be wrapped around his little finger, just how he likes everyone to be- and though he may take her for granted and not consider her a threat; he’d pull his own side of the bargain. He’d take care of her, keep her safe, bundle her up with him on the bus and make certain she never went cold or hungry.
shit I just realized you could have meantDr. Frederick Chilton so: Okay I reiterate since I’m throwing him in last minute- I really think he’d be the absolute least likely to date younger. Chilton would probably think a younger girl would be cute, and sweet, and may be flattered over her fawning over him; but it would be difficult for him to find something in common with a bright young lady who still had years ahead of her to find footing and make something of herself. He’d want to mold her, even if it was an unintentional and deeply-rooted desire, and he’d grow annoyed by the silly, naive things she does. Oh no, Chilton would prefer a woman with maturity, grace, and intellect- someone he doesn’t have to worry about making a silly decision or falling into an unfortunate misstep that someone older and wiser could have seen coming. He’d likely be rather critical, thinking he was offering advice instead of bringing her down, but wouldn’t realize that was why she ran off to sulk. I also really think he’d be excessively self-conscious over it too: his maladies would lead him to think someone younger wouldn’t want to deal with the struggles he faced- which would lead to a rather consistent need for reassurance… which most young women need plenty of themselves, and may not have to offer.
She absentmindedly stared at whatever was in front of her, the sound of the chatter surrounding her and the soft music of the violins being played at the end of the room distant to her ears. Hands were fisted inside the pockets of the dress, her back straight for good posture and body tense.
A hand placed itself on the lower-half of her back, making her almost jump due to the unexpected touch, but she had learnt to always keep her composure when in a royal event. Turning her head to the side, she tilted her head back a bit to lock eyes with the one who had interrupted her thoughts.
The blue eyes staring down at her almost took her breath away. The colour was darker than its usual light tone, pulling her inside its depths, making her notice the specks of green that surrounded the pupil. Dark and unnerving, they moved across her face, studying her features while stripping her down from the fences she had built against his charm…
…to Anon/s who left TWENTY-SEVENmessages
filled with actor-hate in our inbox, as well as everyone else who might be
considering doing something similar: this blog is SO not here for that.
We always tried being here for people, offering respect and
validation and a place to vent–about the show, about its harmful messages and
above all– about the show-runners’ shitty treatment of us all. We’ve called out
the systemic issues they’re abusing for the sake of making money. We tried to
point out cause/effect in the fandom. Tried to dig out the root of the problem
and help y’all find your voice without being manipulated by anyone. And now all
this hysteria based on someone’s assumptions of what some celebrity is like
and what they stand for, because ONE person with a voice justifies it? A
person who defends the showrunners’ (pale, male, stale) sexist
heteropatriarchal approach to the point of blaming it all on an actress they personally, for whatever reasons their imagination created–detest? Judging actors as if
we know anything about them, based on how they’re handling their PR and/or
dealing with their fanbase?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Some of you come here to vent about CS and Hook, and then
go back to the people who foam at the mouth against all that–while at the same
time advocating for another abusive hetero-imposed ship. One that is degrading
for a woman, a Woman of Color at that. Some
tolerate, or even share the creepy
obsession and sexual objectification, rather dehumanizing if you think about
it–of one actress, while jumping on the frantic bandwagon of hating another
one, blaming her for everything. Reality check? Neither one of these women owes us
fuck all. The self-appointed leaders who dictate people what to think–end up
justifying the creators, the ACTUAL arseholes who cooked up this heteropatriarchal
bullshit and peddled it as a ‘modern’ fairytale for the sake of $$$-making
‘entertainment’. And now this petty shit stirred by those sheep-herders who took
over the hive mind of this fucking fandom–is picked up and brought here?
I’m sorry, but what IS it that we should offer now? Gossip?
Judgment? Rationalization? A course on maintaining a mind of your own?A
magic mirror to reflect how stupid those people are making the fandom seem?
Don’t people realize they’ve been manipulated once again, and that by blindly following sheep-herders they only enable their
behaviour? So those of you who just wanted to vent about this,
how ‘bout you take it back to those who started this? Because it’s not like if you follow them to buy whatever they are
peddling (be it fanfics, spoilers, set-spotting or ‘industry insight’ info) that you have to be sheepy and let them dictate what to think and how to behave
in return. You also don’t owe anyone some weird fucked up form of compensation
simply because you can tell they’re lacking something in their miserable lives
and they’re trying to fill that void with fandom. You have to ask yourselves
why it IS that they seem to be involved in one scandalous
fallout/argument/shitfest or another–every single week? And why
people still allow them enough credibility to let them form their opinions?
No. Just no. All that you can get from us here, is us
pointing to the real culprits. If you want someone to blame
for the steaming pile of snowballing shite surrounding this show–the power lies
with networks, showrunners and any identifiable bigot lobby groups who the
network might perceive as powerful. Identify those and you’ll be way closer to
figuring out what’s holding back that real modern fairy tale. Look at the
bigger picture and you can start creating strategies to fight the powers that
be. It always comes down to money. But if you’re going to focus on the perceived power
of an actress, you’re shooting yourself in the foot by being, quite
We won’t compare actresses and pit them
against each other. The level of internalized misogyny at this point is simply
nauseating, and the amount of projection is… unhealthy. Can you really
conclude whether an actor is
aloof or homophobic based on their inaction? Y’all might prefer the one
who’s nicer to you–or wait, is she just more clever, giving you fake smiles
with the sole purpose of furthering the career? *mock gasp* ‘Cause yes,
that IS the point: you don’t fucking know, and you never will! And how the fuck did we get from talking about the show and
its issues, and the accountability that its creators are
refusing to accept–to pretending that we know celebrities and their motivations
to do whatever they do? I mean, what the actual ever loving fuck?
We tried desperately to offer some levelheadedness here, but we are NOT going
to play this high-school game. We were always here for the show, the story, the
characters, the message. Not for the actors. We do NOT condone
idolatry and we especially aren’t here for the dirty trash of people who
try to imprint their opinions on everyone–and those opinions to be dragged
here. We won’t ever pretend, despite our own personal
first-hand ‘industry insight’ info (that we do not use for gossip) that we know ANY of them–and if anyone is
still inclined to continue, feel free to go and vent to those who are
delusional enough to think that they do.
Thank you for your attention. If this didn’t resonate,
feel free to go back to your bleating now.
Coran owns Altea Youth Summer Camp and his niece Allura is the youngest camp councillor who not so silently cheers for everyone’s fav problematics. Said problematics can’t agree on a team name so Allura volunteers Voltron, which is from a fairy tale her dad used to read her. The other teams start betting on how bad Team Voltron will lose because honestly guys their team consists of a five foot pipe cleaner, a fat kid, a dude with a fake arm, and two boys who argue 24/7, they’re gonna fail so bad but then the games actually begin and the rest of the kids realize how wrong they were.
Archery - Lance has been practicing archery since he was 8 he hit all of the stationary targets with his eyes closed and the moving ones were so easy it was pathetic. Keith and Pidge called him Meridith the rest of the time even though Lance said he was totally Hawkeye.
Obstacle Course While Piggybacking A Teammate - Shiro legit forgot Pidge was on his back and screamed when Pidge shouted in his ear (He insists it was a very manly yell thank you very much)
Fencing - Keith doesn’t play nice, the other poor shmuck didn’t even get a hit in, nuff said.
Cooking Competition - Hunk made some very wonderful keke fa'i (Samoan banana cake). His mum taught him how to cook before she taught him how to ride a bike. Team Voltron feasted wonderfully that night.
Guessing Games - Keith’s life is 90% relying on instinct and Pidge can figure out the probabilities in a matter of seconds. They almost got into a fistfight with another team who insisted the game was rigged for Voltron to win. The only thing that stopped them was Allura threatening to hit them all with her high heels.
Team Dodge Ball - Ooooh boy this wasn’t even a competition this was a mass murder. The other teams jumped out of the way of Shiro’s throws not cause they didn’t want to get hit but because they didn’t want bruises the next day. Pidge had an amazing ability to go basically invisible and the other kids didn’t know Pidge was there till it was too late. Hunk was slow and an easy target but he could still fire off throws quickly and strong. Lance obviously had perfect aim and he and Keith made a competition to see how many people each of them could hit.
Scary Stories - Lance is his own family’s resident story teller so this was easy peasy for him. He did the voices and everything and Hunk and Pidge crept up behind certain unlucky campers and scared them pantsless which was very amusing, if you weren’t the ones being scared.
Maze - One teammate is blindfolded, another has a map of the maze and leads them through the maze over a walkie talkie, fun but surprisingly difficult. Shiro knew immediately Lance and Keith were never going to complete the maze together but at this point they were so far ahead in points he was content to sit with Hunk and Pidge and watch the other two boys struggle. Allura got so fed up she had to stop watching because “Honestly guys it’s not this challenging!!!” Lance didn’t talk to Keith the rest of the day.
Honestly I could go on and on with this guys it’s just so amazing. Feel free to turn this into an actual fic but please send me it because I can’t write fanfiction for shit but I love it so much. Sorry this is so long but hope y’all enjoy!
So this is for my darling girl @blimeyhermione, who after reading this post, wanted some lesbian witch fairy tales. So here’s the first one. See the other two here and here.
There was a heavy knock at the door. He looked around, a pained expression on his face and he knew what—who—was behind it.
“Don’t open it!” cried his wife, looking stricken as she held their baby girl, not yet three hours old.
“I—I have to,” said her husband defeated. He kissed his wife on her forehead, smoothing her hair, and then turned towards the door. Before he could reach it, however, in burst the witch, Solana, in all her mystic glory. She was tall and dark as obsidian. Her long hair was pulled high on her head and she looked terrible and resplendent in her golden gown.
“Give me the child, my dear,” she spoke to the wife, who pulled the baby in close to her chest.
“Who are you?” asked the husband, suddenly quite bewildered. “You’re not—”
“I am Solana of the East and I have come to claim what is mine,” she replied, rising to her full height and making him cower. “Your wife promised me her first born child in exchange for your,” she sneered at him, “happily ever after.” She reached out her arms to pluck the baby girl from her mother, when suddenly, there was a rumble in the atmosphere.
“What was—” started Solana, when all of the sudden, down the chimney in a whirlwind of soot and cold breezes, emerged the western witch, Zephyra, small and spritely. Where Solana was tall, she was petite; Solana was dark where she was fair, with almost translucent skin. She looked cold and sharp, like a diamond in snow.
“My good man,” Zephyra said in her light, airy voice, “my most ardent congratulations. I have come to collect what was promised to me. I—”
“Who are you?!” exclaimed Solana, looking at the tiny witch incredulously. It stopped Zephyra in her tracks. She eyed Solana distastefully.
“I am Zephyra of the West. This man traded his first born child for the eternal marital bliss I have granted him.” She turned to the couple, “You should not have involved another witch. She has no powers over compacts made out of free will.’ And to Solana once more, “You can do nothing to stop it, my Sister. The man made a deal.”
“I’m not stopping it, I’M collecting,” Solana retorted. “SHE promised me the baby in exchange for a lover. I have kept my promise and I intend to get what’s mine, Sister,” she added with a snip.
Zephyra looked between the husband and wife and Solana. “Son of a bitch,” she said, dropping the airy attitude. The light suffusing her winked out as the ethereal act dropped. “You two have made a whole mess of this, haven’t you?”
I’m serious. Utena’s car transformation in the Utena movie made sense. Why? Well, if you want a quick and straight forward answer, click read more, go to the bottom of the page and read the text in bold, but if you have the time, the rest of the article will give a more nuanced understanding of Utena and Ikuhara in general.
I wanna put something in perspective regarding the Gail Simone commentary. I think I probably come across as mounting a defense in my posts, but that’s not what this is. I can’t engage with someone critically until I have tried to understand thier perspective.
Gail Simone is the same age as Amy Adams. Both women were 4 years old when the Donner Superman came out, and Amy talks about the Donner films like a fairy tale romance, she credits them for the way she feels about Superman. She loves that Lois, and she sees Superman as a romantic hero. She’s also always been SUPER open about finding both Henry and Superman sexy. I will defend her right to do so with one foot in the grave.
The movie that came out the year I was four years old was Tim Burton’s Batman. Now that movie scared the piss out of me but it also gave me a really really strong romantic link to Batman. He was everywhere during those films, Batman was omnipresent, and he was romantic and tragic and also selling a lot of pizza as I remember it. That’s my perspective. I will always be weirdly protective of the 90s Batman films even as I rewatch them as an adult and grapple with their flaws.
I think it’s as hard for some people to understand my rosy nostalgia about Burton’s Batman as it is for me to understand what the Donner films may have meant to Gail and Amy.
I find it hard to blame Gail for not “getting” the Snyder films, and I think she doesn’t. I’m sure she’ll find that attitude condescending, because she is an Industry Professional and I am just a Snyder Fan, but it’s actually just looking at her perspective and acknowledging that it is both human and limited.
I think lots of older people enjoy these films, but inevitably some of them will already have their Superman. I believe in making room for those people, because as much as the DCEU means to me, Superman has begun to matter just as much.
Happy Birthday Emil!! In celebration of everyone’s favorite six foot tall ray of sunshine, here’s a little preview of my submission for the @emimikezine ~
EmiMike Zine Preview 1 of 2.
There were two prompts and I’ve written something for both. Please look forward to the rest!
“Your Highness,” Michele called,
louder this time, but still received no answer. He sighed and opened the door,
stepping into the heavily furnished bedchamber. The drapes were drawn shut,
giving the illusion that it was still night.
Michele walked over to one of
the large windows, his footfalls dampened by the plush carpeting, and tore
aside the curtains, flooding the room with blinding white light and causing the
figure on the bed to groan and burrow deeper beneath the duvet.
“Your Highness,” Michele said for
the third time, leaning over the lump and frowning. “It is well past breakfast.
Do you plan on sleeping the day away?”
A pitiful whimper was all he received in response.
Michele rolled his eyes. Humans. If
they drank more than five goblets of wine, they were useless the next day.
Featuring Prince Emil and his Elven Advisor, Michele.
Summary: Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn. The four courts that serve as the pillars of the fae realm, united in peace, and yet their words could not be further apart. Natsu Dragneel, Prince of Summer, feels as though the weight of royalty will be his undoing. But when the Courts begin to gather, he soon discovers there are those far more trapped than he.
Rating: M Words: 1066
A/N: I’ve had this in the works for a while, and despite my post about giving up on fics and the like, I’ve decided to try and get my depressed ass out of the gutter and not let it go to waste. I hope anyone who’s interested in this new fic can understand if I struggle, but I hope to update this regularly and that you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!
“We all have one foot in a fairy tale, and the other in the abyss.”
– Paulo Coelho
Lucy watched as dust motes floated through the wandering rays of moonlight. The chamber was so old yet it was always kept in immaculate condition. She didn’t know where the tiny particles had come from. Perhaps they’d floated down from the open skylight.
She looked up, her eyes skimming past the ancient paintings of the constellations that adorned the domed ceiling and coming to rest on the patch of cloudy night sky directly above her. The firelight was dim in the chamber, causing her eyes to sting when she looked to the sky. The moon was hidden by some stray clouds, but it wouldn’t be forever.
Her neighbors and good friends did not wait to be sent for by the newly married lady. They were impatient to see all the rich furniture of her house, and had not dared to come while her husband was there, because of his blue beard, which frightened them. They ran through all the rooms, closets, and wardrobes, which were all so fine and rich that they seemed to surpass one another.
After that, they went up into the two great rooms, which contained the best and richest furniture. They could not sufficiently admire the number and beauty of the tapestry, beds, couches, cabinets, stands, tables, and looking glasses, in which you might see yourself from head to foot; some of them were framed with glass, others with silver, plain and gilded, the finest and most magnificent that they had ever seen.