Heres the thing; SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ZAYN LEAVING. I KNOW HE MIGHT UPSET PEOPLE BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. PEOPLE SAY SHIT ABOUT HIM CHEATING OR THAT HE SHOULDN’T BE WITH PERRIE BUT HES SO FUCKING HAPPY WITH HER SO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN HIS HAPPINESS? DONT BE AN ASSHOLE. Im sure he knows hes going to upset people so how much courage do you think it took him to leave? Do you really think he just up and left because he could. And do you think hes just running away from his problems? No he cant take fucking everyones bullshit about him and who he loves so he needs a break from it. Im sure they’re fine but honestly everyone needs to chill. I love the boys and this fandom but sometimes we ALL need to sit down. Myself included. SO please just let him be alone on his break an when he comes back don’t start any shit. If you actually love him, you’ll let him be happy wherever he is and whoever hes with doing whatever he wants.
So, as someone who cares about Zayn and wants him to be happy, just let him be. Thank youuu
Okay, this needs to be addressed because Little Mix fans keep putting shit into my inbox about this thinking that I’m a 1D fan (which, for the millionth time, I’m not). I keep getting messages about how 1D is ‘falling apart’ and LM is amazing and they got fame on their own and they won the X Factor and blah blah blah.
Over the past few days, as everyone knows, 1D lost a member. Mixers were having a fucking field day and acting like this was the end for 1d because they’re jealous that they’re more famous than LM. Even after the international fan and celebrity meltdown and the uncertainty, the 1D fandom banded together and this happened at One Direction’s first concert without Zayn:
Why do bitter, nasty mixers keep coming into my inbox with their gleeful shit about 1D as if they’re making an intelligent point? 1D’s fan base is too dedicated and their popularity will not end until every one of those boys calls it quits. One Direction will exist for as long as they want themselves to. When I say this, people think I’m biased and a 1D fan when I’m just stating the facts.
Little Mix could not even win a KCA. They can’t win a fucking kids award! It’s humiliating, the way LM have begged their fans to keep voting and they sent out a video of themselves begging for votes and thinking they were actually in the lead. They look pathetic groveling after an award that 1D has won multiple times.
Little Mix had to cancel their tour that had 3-4k venues but 1D sold 200k tickets in less than 24 hours even after all that’s gone on over the past two weeks. LM have NEVER done anything worthwhile. There’s no momentum. Yes, they won the X Factor, but so have SO many irrelevant people over the years. People like Steve Brookstien and Sam Bailey have also won X Factor. They’re flops and they’ve disappeared and that would have already happened to LM if it weren’t for Zayn.
Warning: The content of this article summarize the events of the week in a light/meant to be funny way. One could also say, it is a poor attempt at humour really (and one would be totally right), but what would be life without all the stupid stupid things you can come up with? Let’s live Forever Young kiddos!
All Gifs belong to their right owners, we are only borrowing them. If you want to receive credit contact us…
In the previous episodes…
- Zayn officially left the band and threw the fandom into a bottomless pit of despair…
… Apparently, to pursue his own solo career.
Same here Lou! Pour some anger into the pit of despair!
- Eleanor commented that her and Louis were still good friends after their break-up.
- Liam was the absolute sunshine of the week.
Ow, so bright! Too bright! Our… Hearts… Are… Meltiiiiiiing!!!
- After a really hard week of grief, the fandom was back on the game right on time for the KCAs! Ready for the Last Minute Slay?! (With capitals, because it IS a THING in this fandom, innit?)
- We might have an exclusiv’ for you… Did you know that Wikipedia work WITH ONE DIRECTION? Bet you didn’t! Want some proofs?
This is an old screenshot. It was taken on the exact same day Zayn left the tour, supposedly to have a break from all the pressure and stress. Well, seems like Wikipedia already knew he wouldn’t come back… Fishy? You said fishy?(More on this conspiracy later)
Now, let’s get cracking!
Sunday 29th : Second Johannesbourg’s Gig
- One Direction bags all the Awards they are nominated for at the KCAs ! Oh Yeah!And that Ladies is exactly how to make our Niall happy!
Congratulatory dance anyone?
Ow, Jesus! Now you get it from the Master.
- BREAKING NEWS! The pre-production of the next album begins ! Niall is first on the News! They all seem to be very excited as well, we know how much they like to write their own songs and we can only encourage them to since the last two albums were killers! Go Boys!
- Do you know this feeling, when you just broke up with your boyfriend, you’re still quite enamoured with him, but he was the one to ditch you, and he is doing allright,he even found someone else already? Someone you obviously think is ugly and not right for him? So, seeing as he is quite happy, you start flooding your social networks with photos and comments explaining how HAPPY you are too, how life is just GREAT at the moment, how much you enjoy it and how you don’t give a toss about being single, quite the contrary actually! Ex-boyfriend, who? All the while expecting he will see it, of course. Well, Louis might be in this kind of frenzy at the moment. Since he was extremely active all week on social networks. What do you mean, he broke up with Eleanore weeks ago now? Who said we were on about Ela? We were talking about his break-up with Bestie ZAYN, obviously!
He started lightly, posting a picture of his new bestfriend on Instagram. (yea, Zayn, he replaced you too, see!) Who can take the boy’s place, you ask? A Water Bottle ! Yes, you read it right: a FUCKING EVIAN’S BOTTLE ! Sorry Ladies. Talking about lame replacements, really. Well at least, water is good for your health Lou, so there is that…
Next he posted this ABSOLUTELY AMAZING on-stage selfie with Niall.
Much more effective as a replacement this time. (The last bestfriend wasn’t very talkative to be honest.) And you have to admit the photo in itself is a killer! Looking good guys!
- Harry and Niall in a hotel room? Some heavy noises coming from inside, creaking bed, muffled laughs, pantings,…
STOP IMMEDIATELY what you were thinking! (Don’t lie! We know exactly what you were thinking!). Harry and Niall were said to be playfighting in Harry’s hotel room… basically that’s how we picture it actually went down:
- This is what you get when you mess with the 1D fandom: #NaughtyBoyDontEatZayn was trending for almost the whole day and apparently Louis & Niall had NO FLIPPIN’ CHILL either!!!
A joke? Well, looks like your co-worker Wikipedia didn’t get the memo:
Here is an actual translation from the French page of Wikipedia:
“Zayn Malik would have left the wonderful band that is One Direction because of Naughty Boy’s bad influence on him.
Naughty Boy also was one of the Extras in the Music Video “Steal My Girl” from One Direction in which he had the part of a sumo. He apparently also would have tried to eat Zayn Malik”
If this is not bloody brilliant, we don’t know what is! Obviously, the article had been rectified since.
- Also, something really brilliant happened during their gig, something we won’t even joke about, because honestly, the symbol is just too beautiful!
The boys let their Public sing Zayn’s part in “You and I”. A nice way to remind you who is now the fifth member: their fans! And, this get us a little emotional…
- On stage, Harry is his quirky cute self, asking the fans to throw all they can on the stage for a minute… Well, this kid sure lives dangerously! Remember that?
OUCH!!! ><” Even LOOKS painful! (Please girls, for the sake of Harry’s future children, AIM for the ground!)
- #1DFAMHERETOSTAY went trending for two consecutive days. What does that tells you? The Fandom rules Twitter? Maybe.
- Liam as usual is P-E-R-F-E-C-T , Harry thinks the same, he even claims that on stage! (Shouting his love on the rooftops, at last?!) Why? Because Liam always find the good words, his little speech on Twitter was most certainly perfect.
Well, family is family Liam; we’ll always be there for you! Always!
Monday 30th :
- The photograph of Louis and Harry having breakie together surfaces and drives Larries into a new frenzy!
Do you think Harry went to the counter all bubbly and said “I used to be a baker!”? And then both Louis and his bodyguard would facepalm and Louis would try to gently break the news to him: “We know love, everybody all around the world know, you’re the most famous ex-baker in the WWW…”. Cute.
Tuesday 31th :
- Or, THE SASS MASTER slays again! We told you he had quite a hard time getting over Zayn! So, guess he was reading through Nasty Boy’s vileness like:
And now, he is full-on set on dragging his ex’s new boyfriend! Get him Louis!
That a boy!
As a consequence #sassyLouis and #masterofallwisdom was trending on twitter all day! Hey Louis! Naughty?
Yea, might want to avoid the subject in your presence from now on.
Wenesday 1st of April : Cape Town Gig
Wow! Everyone seems to be relieved to be done with March Madness… But maybe, it was talking a little too soon considering the date: 1st of April!
Wise for once… Should have listened to her for the last two weeks!
- Blind gossip hits us again during the April fools ! Ace chooses to have a go at Harry and more specifically targets Haylor:
Most of the fandom reacted quite violently, and for a good reason: as if we needed some more dramas! We just can’t have a break, can we?!
However, never the ones to blame people for a joke we will just say that: Was not really funny pal, but nice try!
It definitely was fishy right from the begining though… Really, have you ever read Ace writing nice things about Taylor?! No? Never? What we thought!
- Now here is April fools by the fandom (which was pretty bored so we kinda saw it coming): #HarryGotArrested trending on twitter
Now, that was quite hilarious, because… well… Harry? really?
Mouhahahaha! Try to picture Harry-don’t-swear in jail you’re in for some mad giggling!
- On another hand, and this is not an April Joke, Zayn lost about 50 000 followers on twitter, following the recent feud between Naughty Boy and Louis! We hope Zouis is still BFF after the clash!
Thursday 02th of April :
- The boys fly to Dubai, but they have to land because of a huge sand storm. They’re stuck in a plane for four more hours after a ten hours flight!
Can only imagine how your back and bum must be sore! Well, boys, if ever in need of a good massage…
Louis shares his love for confined spaces and long flights!
Ouch, the irony.
- He also posts a video on IG from their last gig without mentioning either Liam or Harry even though they both are in the video, and we’re sensing a pattern in the Tomlinson family here:
#Louisbelike surfaces, basically #LouisBeLike is the #LottieBeLike 2.0; siblings have got something in common. They both had one of the most hilarious trends on Twitter!
- So apparently Harry is dead. We saw on twitter #RIPHarryStyles trends. Maybe, it was the result of some random Haters work and the fandom being its bright-self it turned it into a joke, or maybe it’s the result of the fandom going completely insane after a whole day without ANY drama, now they are so not used to it that they get bored! Anyway…
Friday 03rd of April:
- Here is the first official picture of the FANTASTIC FOUR.
- Lottie and Louis post a selfie of themselves in a car.
But wait… Is there someone sitting on Louis’ laps?! That definitely looks like a leather jacket on the right and that might explain why his left arm is not in the picture.
Then, WHO is sitting on Louis’ laps, the question that might turn the fandom crazy even before Sunday, (since Sunday is officially the day when all the drama happen all over again!). AND… We don’t have the answer, sorry.
Saturday 04th of April: Dubai Gig
- It is the last day of the Asian Leg before a two months break! School’s out boys!
- The boys are very happy and affectionate on stage, goofing around and hugging each other, and we might be swooning a little!
- Louis’ whole family meet him in Dubai and encourage the boys.
- As Lou Tisdeale said:
And this week Absolute Sunshine of the Week Award goes to…
Louis William Tomlinson is the Absolute Sunshine of this week. Now you’re probably wondering why Louis? The answer is quite simple : IG and Sassmaster of Twitter !
This week Louis was pretty active in all social networks, firstly in Instagram with this gorgeous selfie of Niall and him on stage, and later in the week with the video of the crowd in Cape Town during “Little Things”.
He was also quite reactive on Twitter where he posted lots of tweets but most notably his furious tweet to clash nasty Naughty Boy.
We can only clap with both hands and be moved by the fact that he wants to actually PROTECT his fans when he senses someone is trying to wind them up.
What a charming prince in shining armour, we’re swooning!
We would like to thank everyone that actually took the time to read our silliness last week, all of the people that liked it and/or shared it. We hope it put a smile on your face.
Starting next week, since the boys will be in a break and we don’t want to be intrusive, we will only relay their public appearances and social medias activities and we will try to have some special “Holiday” editions covering funny stuff like their best interviews bits, best one-liners, the craziest things they have done on stage etc… So we’re certainly not down for the break!
That’s it for this week, tune in next week for some more stupidity. Love and Respect to you all!
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