*ER ER ER* THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT, so if that’s not your thing.. don’t read?? idk.. okay enjoy!
Two months into our relationship. Two months of blissful happiness with Harry. We barely fought. He treated me like a queen. We wanted to celebrate.
I had dressed up, I wanted him to want me all night. I wore his favorite dress on me, which was little black dress that clung close to my frame and split at the thigh. See through panels of mesh adorned the top and cut down low on my chest.
The first time I had ever worn this dress was for an event that he had been invited to, an event that we wouldn’t attend because I couldn’t even make it out of the bedroom after he had seen me in it.
I dressed and walked out of the house before he did, telling him to meet me in the car when he was ready.
His reaction was exactly what I had wanted it to be. The second he turned to me from the driver’s seat his breathing halted. His lip caught between his teeth as his eyes raked my body.
“Take it off.” he demanded, and I was unclear on if he wanted me to change or to disrobe in his car so that we could have some fun before we went out.
“I was hoping, later, you could rip it off of me.” I teased, crossing my legs so that he could see my bare thigh from the split in the side of the dress.
He deeply sighed, his eyes shutting as he looked in pain. His knuckles whiten from the grip he held on the steering wheel before he glanced at me quickly. “You’re gonna’ regret that comment.”
“Just know, you break it you buy it.” I joked, my hands brushing down the fabric on my body.
His mood was the same at the club, he hated not having his hands on me. Any small separation made him ache, as if I was going to vanish the second he let me go.
I loved having this effect on him, when I could tell how badly he needed me. It was nice to have the tables turn every once and awhile, since I had felt that way every single day of our relationship. Like he was going to disappear if I didn’t keep my eye on him.
When I asked him to go get us drinks he acted as if I had asked him to stab a man, the shock on his face was prevalent as I took a seat at the nearest table to where we stood. Prying his hands off me, he let out a huff, begging me to join him. I shook my head, wanting to make him suffer a little.
“I’ll be right here when you get back.” I charmed, leaning back against the chair and crossing my legs. He took in the sight with a defeated sigh, “You’re driving me crazy.” he groaned, looking me up and down. “You’re into it.”
“I’m kinda’ into it.” he joked, his face scrunching as he let out a laugh.
I shoo’d him off and after another exaggerated moan he obliged, nodding his head as he tried his best to keep his eyes on me the entire way to the bar. Running into a couple people’s backs as he mumbled apologies and kept staring.
I giggled, moving to reach for my purse so that I could text Lily.
Her reply was quick and simple and I could hear exactly how she had said it in her voice as I read it.
“YOU GONNA GET SOME TONIGHT”
I laughed, my fingers tapping to text her back but I was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
I looked up, expecting Harry, knowing that he always teased me about how being on the phone when you’re with someone is impolite. I was confused when I didn’t see him, but another man standing in his place.
“Can I help you?” I queried, placing my phone face down in my lap.
“Is this seat taken?” he asked pointed at the vacant seat parallel to me.
He looked to be in his late twenties, his hair an ashy blonde that was cut short at the sides. A flannel shirt hung from his shoulders that was tucked into a pair of light washed skinny jeans, and I could smell the alcohol he had drank from my chair.
“It is, my boyfriend is at the bar.” I said, giving him the best polite smile I could muster. He nodded, putting his hands on the back of the chair in front of me. “Makes sense, I figured a girl like you would have a boyfriend.”
“A girl like me?” I hissed, my arms crossing. He put his hands up in defense, “No, not like that. It’s just, you’re too pretty to be single.” he explained, his tone slightly panicked.
I laughed, my body relaxing as I nodded.
“So, who’s the lucky guy?” he asked, turning to face the bar only to lock eyes with Harry. “Would it be the one seconds away from punching me?” he joked as I looked over to my tense boyfriend. He was glaring at the man before me, shaking his head at him with dangerous eyes.
“Yeah, that’s him.” I agreed, as I saw him walking back towards the table empty handed.
“He’s a lucky guy.” the stranger sighed, turning to take in my appearance. “Yeah..” I started.
“I am.” Harry finished, his body inches behind the man. His arms were crossed as he towered over him by at least 4 inches.
The man looked up to him, “No harm, man. I was just leaving.” he said, his tone cool and unphased. “No need, we’re leaving.” Harry demanded, moving to my side before softly lifting my arm to raise me from my seat.
“We are?” I questioned, we hadn’t been here longer than an hour. He shot me a look, his eyebrows knotted together as his voice was stern, “We are.”
I nodded, not wanting to question him further. Not until we were at least outside.
The man smiled to me, “Have a good night, it was nice to meet you.” I could barely get out a response back before Harry was pulling me towards the door.
“I can walk on my own, I’m not a child.” I groaned, pulling my arm from Harry’s grasp. He looked as if a war was going on in his mind, his eyes flicking back and forth as he stormed off to the car. I tried to keep up but his legs were long and I was in heels.
“Who does he think he is, the second I leave you alone the wolves fucking flock to you.” he mumbled, mainly to himself. “Has the audacity to hit on you when you’re with me.” he continued, shakily getting the car keys from him pocket.
He unlocked it, moving to open my door, “You okay, babe?” I hesitated, as his eyes snapped to me before shutting my door before I could get it.
He moved behind me, his hand reaching for the door that led to the backseat. “Get in.” he commanded, his head ticking towards it.
“Harry..” I delayed, “Nothing happened.”
He looked to me calmly before flicking his eyes back to the door, insisting me to listen to him. I nodded, sliding into the backseat.
As much as I wanted to yell at him for overacting, jealous Harry was extremely hot. I hadn’t experienced him much in the past two months, but when I did, I always enjoyed it.
He followed me silently, unbuttoning his jacket as he shrugged it off his shoulders. Even that was hot to me, everything he was doing was intensified when I knew I was about to get some.
He unbuttoned his shirt at the wrists, quickly and quietly rolling them up to his elbows. Never once looking at me. “Harry..” I pushed, not knowing exactly what to expect.
His eyes were half opened and his eyebrows were lifted as he glanced at me with his face still forward, pushing up his right sleeve.
Letting out a deep sigh, he placed his hands on his thighs and looked in thought. “Why are we in the backseat?” I asked, not seeming to gain his attention. He kept his eyes in front of him.
“Harry.” I raised my voice, trying to get any type of reaction from him.
He inhaled deeply, his head falling back to rest against the seat behind him. “My name sounds so nice coming out of those pretty lips of yours.” he sighed, tilting his head to smirk at me.
Oh no, not the smirk. He knows what the smirk does to me.
“In fact, that’s the only thing I wanna’ hear from your lips.” He started, turning his body to face me. His eyes burning into mine as he leaned closer. His lips brushed against my ear as his fingers traced up my thigh, “Especially when I make you cum.” he finished as I whimpered.
“Harry.” I whispered, my voice weak and quiet as he inched closer to my inner thigh. “Good girl.” he laughed and I didn’t have to look at him to know his smirk was dancing on his face.
My eyes shut as he drug his face to the base of my neck, “Such a pretty neck.” he mumbled, littering it softly with kisses. “Would look better with my teeth marks on it.” he spoke before biting harshly into me.
I let out a moan, my thighs tightening together as he pried them open with one hand. “No, no, no, kitten. Keep these open for me.” he warned, looking me in the eyes before continuing his assault to my neck.
His teeth pulled at my skin, creating a burning sensation that he would soothe with his tongue. The combination of the two repeated was enough to put me on edge, my body overreacting to him as it usually did. He had an effect on me that no other man had.
“Can we please take this home?” I tried, my voice barely breaking the sound barrier as he bit down harder against the base of my neck. I yelped, “Now, what did I say? Only my name.” he teased as I writhed in my seat.
His fingers slid over the thin material covering me before he let out a soft chuckle, “So wet for me. Haven’t even touched you.” he grinned as my head fell back, his mouth attaching to my neck once more. “Oh god.” I moaned, to which he stopped to point at me.
“Close, but not my name.” he joked, using his index finger to push aside my underwear before tracing up my slit. My body jolting at the surprise mixed with the coolness of his hands.
“Now, let’s see if my good little kitten can follow orders.” he flirted, his fingers lightly scanning up and down my wet center. My breathing quickened as I looked to him with hooded eyes. “Whose girl are you?” he said before pushing two of his fingers into me. I gasped, my eyes rolling back as he plunged into me until his rings hit my skin.
“Hmm?” he pushed, his forehead resting against my temple. “Whose girl are you, baby?” he asked as I tried to regain my composure with him pumping into me slowly.
“Your’s.” I whispered, which earned me a growl. He fingers slowing painfully as my body pushed forward against his hand. Needing him to go faster.
He removed his hand from me as I whined, looking at him. “You’re not listening.” he said, bringing his hand to his lips before dragging his tongue along them. Cleaning his hand from my juices, I groaned. “Let’s just go home.”
He reached for the door and I pulled him back by his shoulders. He turned to look at me, his face amused as I shook my head. “You gonna’ be a good girl?” he asked and I shook my head vigorously.
“So tell me, whose girl are you?” he teased, and before he even finished his sentence I cut him off by saying his name. He smiled, “That’s what I thought.” he laughed before leaning into me again. His fingers finding their way back between my legs.
“The louder you say it, the faster I’ll go.” he said, returning to pump into me slowly. “Need everyone to hear how good I make you feel. Need that asshole to hear what I can do to you.”
I moaned his name again, my voice only able to say it a little louder than before. His fingers picked up speed, “Who’s the only man who can make you feel this good?” he grunted, his thumb moving to circle my clit.
I practically screamed his name, knowing that not only could it probably be heard from outside of the car but probably in the bar with how loud it came out.
“Mmm, sounds so good.” he smiled, his face kissing down my chest.
I knew I wasn’t going to last long, his assertiveness driving me crazy from the very start. His fingers persisted, keeping his word as he sped up with every scream of his name that was now flowing from my lips every couple of seconds.
He looked down at me, my body squirming to the point that I was almost laying down on the seat. “Fuck it.” he said before removing his hand and tearing my dress down the middle.
“HARRY!” I screeched, shock thick in my tone as I stared down to myself. “I’ll buy you a new one.” he said, his hands fumbling at the pocket of his pants. He pulled out a condom before working on his zipper.
He situated himself, leaving me panting beside him. “C'mere.” he said before grabbing my waist and lifting me to hover over him. “Need you around me.” his tone was deep and husky as he pulled my underwear to the side and pushed me down onto him. My body stiffening.
I was never ready for how big he was, my body always needed time to adjust to him. Both of us let out shaky breaths, and he looked up at me with his mouth hung open.
I placed my hands against his chest, pivoting my hips back as I moved up against his length. His shaft gliding against my clit as I brought myself back down. He inhaled through gritted teeth, looking down to wear we connected with lustful eyes.
“Show daddy how well you can fuck.” he said, and that was all I needed to start riding him faster than I ever had before. Two could play this game. I kept going until obscenities fell from his lips.
“Now daddy, don’t you think you overacted in there.” I asked sweetly, my hips rolling against him. He opened his eyes to glare at me, his bottom lip tugging through his teeth. “Kitten..” he warned, his grip on my waist tightening.
“Don’t you?” I asked, slowing my speed as I hovered myself over top of his dick, his head just grazing my entrance. He whimpered, throwing his head back, “Hmm?” I persisted, dipping myself down on him slowly.
He groaned, “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” I lingered myself with him barely inside of me, “Please.” he begged, his voice a little louder than a whisper. “It’s a yes or no question.” I sighed, my thighs threatening to shake because of the strength I was using to keep myself up.
“Yes.” he hissed through gritted teeth, moaning and I moved myself down completely on him and resumed my speed. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna’..” he whispered, his eyes closing as he moved to bite at my neck once again.
I nodded, feeling the burning sensation completely ravage my stomach. “Need you..” he spoke, his breath halting, “to cum first.” he continued, his hand moving between us to rapidly rub my clit. My head fell back, his name falling from my lips as I continued my movement on top of him.
My legs began to shake, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as my body ignited from his touch. My core tightening around him as his thrusts became sloppy and unsteady. A husky moan roaring out of him as I rested my body completely against his chest.
Both of us panting and sweaty as my chest began to heave with laughter, he joined in, looking down to me. “What’s so funny?” he asked, his arms wrapping around my back, his thumb rubbing up and down my spine.
“Remind me to make you jealous more often.” I laughed and he mocked offense, shouting ‘hey’ before I lifted myself from him. “I hate seeing men look at you like you’re meat.” he explained, running a hand through his bangs before glancing to me.
“Well, Mr. Styles, seems we have a predicament then.” I laughed.
His head tilted as he pushed me to go on. “I’m thinking I’m gonna’ attract some male attention since someone decided to tear off my dress.”
“You’re not getting out of this car.” he warned, realization dawning on him as he stared at my red lace covered body. My eyebrow raised, “Wanna’ bet?” I challenged, turning to open the door beside me.
“NO!” he yelped, his arms reaching over me to slam the door shut.
His eyes darted around the backseat, looking for anything he could use to cover me up. He picked up a napkin, holding it against my body before tossing it behind him.
“Take this.” he said, passing his jacket over to me. I slid my arms into it, tucking the fronts closed at my sides before he nodded in approval. “It’ll do for now.”
He buckled his pants, running a hand through his hair before looking to my petite body engulfed in his jacket.
I followed him out of the car, his jacket reached just below my ass, my heels making it hit higher on my legs than it usually would. The lack of fabric on my body causing me to shiver as we hit the cold New York air. He looked me up and down, “Fuck.” he mumbled before shaking his head and opening my door.
“Get in before I take you up against the car.” he half threatened, a smirk playing on my features as I stepped into the passenger seat.
“So, what did that guy say to you before I walked up.” he asked, pushing the key into the ignition and started the car. “It’s none of your business.” I teased, sticking my tongue out to him.
I couldn’t stop my head from bobbing to the tune of the song, the wine taking over my body as I fought the urge to stand on my bed and dance.
“Good ass song.” I giggled, my arms pumping over my head as my hair flung across my face as I tried to sing along, not knowing any of the words.
“He’s so talented.” I sighed, my body flying backwards to rest on my mattress. “I should tell him. Tell him how talented he is.” I said out loud to no one.
Nodding, I picked up my phone, unlocking it before stopping myself. “He probably has so many people that tell him that.” I frowned, “People that aren’t me.”
My head was swimming, the wine hitting me full force as the song continued. “I wish I was telling him how talented he is.”
My hands raked my face, pulling down the skin under my eyes with a groan. “Why didn’t I tell him he was talented more?”
“He’s just so smitten with you.” Lily laughed, her eyes on Harry as he stood with men from his record company, his eyes never leaving me. I sipped from the straw of my drink, a goofy grin on my face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I teased.
He lazily smiled to me, his eyes slowly blinking as the man in front of him tried to gain his attention. But no matter his efforts, Harry kept his eyes on me.
I stuck my tongue out, causing a giggle to fall from his lips. His head fell to face the floor before he grinned to me, looking up from under his eyelashes. The business man before him growing irritated.
“You guys are gross.” my best friend commented, leaning her elbow against the bar.
“I’m surprised you guys are getting on so well after that article today.” Miles chimed in, attempting for a third time to get the bartender’s attention, and for a third time failing.
My brows knitted, pulling my drink from my lips. “Article?” I questioned, my head tilting to focus on him more.
He kept his eyes focused on the bartender’s movements, wanting to be the first person he’d see when he got a free minute. “Yeah, I figured you’d be pissed.” he continued. His tone nonchalant as Lily elbowed him in the ribs.
He groaned, glaring down to her. Lily’s eyes could start a fire with the heat behind them, “What are you talking about?” I asked, shaking my head as I stepped closer to him.
“Nothing, I’m just drunk.” he attempted to cover, his face slightly panicked as his eyes looked anywhere but on me.
“You haven’t even had one drink yet, Miles. What article?” I pushed, moving around his side to place my drink on the wood next to him.
He looked down to me quickly before glancing to Lily, whose arms were crossed to him. Her jaw was locked as she continued to glare as he fumbled with his words.
“You’re right, I haven’t had a drink.” he said before placing his hand on my shoulder, “I’m gonna’ go get one.” he finished before darting off.
I glanced back to Harry, his eyes filled with concern as he looked between my irritated frame and Miles’s frantic one. He looked at me, silently pleading for me to come over to him. Probably to see what had just happened, but it looked like he was more worried about what Miles could have said to me.
My body swung back to Lily, “What article?” I demanded, my tone on edge as she glanced over my shoulder to Harry. I stepped in front of her, “He’s not your best friend, I am. What article, Lily?” I fought, she sighed, her body falling in defeat as she grabbed my drink and took a large gulp of it.
“It’s fake, so it doesn’t even matter.” she deflected, her voice calm as she placed a hand on my shoulder.
“If Miles thought I’d be pissed because of it, I have a right to know what it is.” I hissed, growing angry knowing that the two people closest to me were hiding something.
She finished off my drink, “Just remember, we’re at a profession event for Harry. Remember how proud you’ve been all day that he signed his own contract and is able to write the music he’s wanted to. You’ve always thought he was talented..” she rambled before I cut her off, “Stop stalling and tell me.”
She sighed, “Remember when they wrote that article about how Harry had a new girl? The one a couple weeks after you guys had started dating? The one you know to be false, since he was with you 24/7? The fake, fake, absolutely fake, couldn’t be anymore far from the truth..”
“Lily, I swear to God.” I interrupted, my foot beginning to tap impatiently. I glanced back to Harry, his face distraught as he pushed the business man in front of him to the side, attempting to claw his way through the crowd and to the two of us.
“The girl apparently tipped off the media claiming that she’s pregnant with Harry’s baby.” she quickly stated, and if I hadn’t been paying attention I probably would’ve missed the statement entirely.
It felt as if my heart had collapsed, air failing to pass into my lungs, as I stood with my mouth gawking. I didn’t know how I was still on my own two feet with the floor being ripped from under me.
“Remember, it’s fake. It’s completely fake, she lied before saying she was with him. You know that.” Lily defended, her face falling as she took in my current state.
I nodded, not knowing how to feel. I knew that it was false, but the idea that someone else would claim to be carrying my boyfriend’s child was all too much for me. Fake or not.
“What did Miles say to you?” Harry voice panted behind me, his hands wrapping around my shoulders to turn me gently. His eyes glassy, he had never seen me like this and I could tell he was scared of what might happen next.
I didn’t know what to say to him, my eyes continuously bouncing between his face and Lily’s. How could they keep something like this from me?
“What the fuck did he say to her?” Harry spoke through gritted teeth to Lily. She kept her attention on me, her concerned eyes burning into the side of my face. “He told her.” she whispered.
Harry’s breathing halted for a second, turning my face to look at his own. “It’s fake, it’s all fake baby. You know that, right?” he pleaded, already knowing what Lily meant.
I was trying my best not to cry, not because of the ridiculous tabloid rumors but because the two people I trusted the most had hidden something from me. It was for my own benefit, but it still didn’t feel good. What else could they have been hiding me from?
“I need to hear you say it. I need to hear that you know it’s fake.” Harry begged, his eyes scanning mine. I had never seen him look so scared before and it broke my heart.
I wanted to tell him that I knew, but no words would come out.
“B, please.” he whispered, I could feel his fingers shaking as he continued his grip on me. I swallowed, nodding, “I know.” was all I could get out, but it was enough for him. He breath fell shaky from his lips as he brought me into his chest. “Thank fucking God.” he exhaled, his hands clutching me closer to him than he’s ever had before.
Like he was afraid to let go.
“Where is he?” Harry snarled, his face dark as he looked to Lily. “I’m gonna’ fucking kill him.” he threatened, I tried my best to pull from him but he wouldn’t budge.
“You have no right to be angry with him, you should have told me. Not him.” I fought, attempting to keep my voice as quiet as I could. Not wanting to start a scene at Harry’s own party.
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I knew the party was tonight and I just wanted you to have a good night. I wanted to tell you after this. I wanted to be the one to tell you, I even had to beg Lily not to tell you.” he explained, my eyes panning to her. She nodded, her face falling to the ground.
At least she wanted to tell me right away. That made me feel a little better.
“We’ll talk about this later.” I grimaced, putting on my best fake smile as another businessman approached Harry’s side.
“As soon as we get home.” he said, nodding. His tone sounding relieved that I wasn’t going to storm out or ruin his night. I knew he would end this party in a second if I had been genuinely upset, but I could tell he was thankful that I had been mature about it.
I shook my head, “I’m sleeping in my own home tonight, alone.” and he looked as if I had punched him in the stomach. “Babe..” he started before the man beside him called his name.
I shot him a pointed look, one that told him not to push me. The man called for him again, “Seems as if you’re needed.” I stated before calling the bartender over. “B..”
“Enjoy your party, Harold. We’ll talk about this later.” I smiled, as his eyes fell to the floor. Knowing that pushing the conversation further would just make it worse. He glanced to Lily, before walking off.
“You’re taking this a little too well.” she said hesitantly, moving to my side at the bar as the bartender passed me my drink.
I laughed dryly, “I’m a great actress.” I said before throwing back my drink.
It’s memories like that that made it easier for me to remember why we needed to break up, because I wasn’t good for him. That night was important to him and instead of telling him how proud I was of him and how talented he was, I made it about myself.
I deserved this. Every second of it. I deserved the pain because of the little ways that I hurt him while we were together.
He deserved someone better.
Even in my drunk state, I knew it. He needed someone like him, and I was the opposite of him in most ways. I was impulsive and hot headed.
I never thought how my actions would effect him, I just acted on impulse and let too much go straight to my heart.
He was perfect and I was a mess of a person.
For what felt like the eightieth time of the night, my eyes brimmed with tears. I just needed this to be over.
Only three more songs left.
“Fuck.” I said, eyes glued to my laptop screen as the last seconds of the song played out. The next song being the one I had been dreading since the beginning of the album.
“Ever Since New York.” I spoke in a whisper as the song switched. I took a deep breath, knowing this would be the worst of them all.
HELLO! if you’ve enjoyed this.. lemme know.. if not.. don’t lemme know.
On the way to Hampstead Heath, I had about a million scenarios flashing
through my mind about what had happened — in reality, it was probably
nothing serious and nothing for me to lose sleep over, but sadly, that
wasn’t how the reality of my mind worked. Worst case scenarios were what
flooded my mind the most.
If I had thought that I would come out of listening to this album unscathed, it was quickly shut down with the first song.
Any childlike naivety I had thinking that this wouldn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, that I was just being dramatic, was silenced with the very first lyric of the very first song.
“Meet me in the hallway.”
I shook my head, tears brimming my eyes already. Memories flooding my mind. If hearing his voice wasn’t enough of a knife to my heart, the lyrics that he sung were.
I shut my eyes, taking a shaky breath as I brought the wine to my lips. My thoughts running rapidly through times with him as I continued to take heavy gulps from the bottle.
With every blink, I saw him. I saw us. I saw our memories. They were getting harder to fight, harder to push away and internalize. So I let them win.
“Meet me in the hallway.” even with as hot as I was, his voice sent chills down my spine. His hand leaving my back as quickly as he touched it.
I turned around, barely catching a glimpse of his face, but I already knew that I would do anything that he told me without hesitation. That voice was hypnotizing, and his looks were equally entrancing.
I had spotted his mess of curls as soon as my friends and I had walked into the club, as if my eyes were magnetized towards his.
We had been playing a dangerous game all night, full of teasing glances and battling for dominance since the second we knew of each other’s presences.
I had been standing at the bar, knowing damn well he had watched me walk up to it alone. It had been the only time I had been alone all night, and I knew he would take this moment to strike. And I welcomed it with open arms.
He made his way towards the hallway that led to the bathrooms and I didn’t even have time to process what I was doing before my legs instinctively followed. Seeming as if they had a mind of their own.
I wasn’t entirely drunk, but something about him made me feel as if I was. My head fuzzy and my stomach in excited knots with every step I took. It wasn’t until I was standing in the dimly lit hallway alone that I had realized what I was doing.
“I saw him walk in here.” I thought, my eyes scanning the space between the bathrooms and the dance floor but seeing no one. “He did say to meet here.. didn’t he?” I questioned, my head switching from one end of the hallway to the next.
Maybe I had imagined the whole thing. Maybe I was drunk. It could have just been wishful thinking that he would approach me, I did have an overactive imagination.
If I hadn’t felt slender fingers wrapped around my wrist I would’ve just stormed back to my friends, but instead I found myself being pulled back towards an open door behind me. Light barely visible in it as the man I had been flirting with across the club quickly shut the door behind him.
“You.” he started, a smirk played on his lips as he pointed a finger teasingly at my face. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you,” he continued, his feet stepping closer to my body that had pressed itself against the wall adjacent to the door. “teasing isn’t nice?” he finished with his hands pressed on the wall by the sides of my head.
Even with my heels on, he towered nearly a foot over me. His body formed around mine like he was a predator stalking prey. His eyes were dark and full of lust, and I assumed mine looked about the same. My smile tore at my features as I kept my hazel eyes glued to his green ones.
“You have no room to talk.” I charmed, my finger dragging down the center of his torso. He let out a low growl, his eyes fluttering shut as my finger stopped just above his waist.
I retracted my hand as his eyes shot open, glancing down at me with a look I could only describe as mischievous. His grin widening as he moved to bring his face closer to my ear, a small laugh blowing soft air into it as I quivered. “We have just enough room in here for other activities though.” he whispered, and this time my eyes closed, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed with the alcohol from his breath.
“Do you always sweep women away into storage closets of busy nightclubs?” I joked, trying to steady my breathing. My head telling me I shouldn’t have sex with a stranger in a nightclub, as much as my heart wanted to jump on him right then and there.
He chuckled, his hand moving from the wall to rub at the back of his neck, “First time, actually, too eager to wait to get you all to myself.” he said as his body moved to press against mine. His hips pushed against me, pinning me to the wall.
“So, who do I have the pleasure of sharing this closet with?” I asked, continuing to distract myself from my impulsive thoughts.
There was something different about him, I could feel it. I didn’t want to mess this up by having a quickie in the closet and possibly never seeing those green eyes again. I didn’t want him to know me as the girl he banged in a closet.
Fuck, he was so attractive and I’m the type of person who still uses the word “bang” to mean sex.
His tongue dragged across his lips painfully slow before he teeth glimmered in a smile, “My name’s Harry.” he brought a strand of my hair to wrap around his finger. “What’s your name?”
“Such a beautiful name for such a devilish girl.” he joked, removing his hand from my hair. I scoffed, “‘Delivish?’” I mocked, my hand clutching my chest, “I’m an angel.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he leaned fully onto his hand that was left on the wall. “Yeah, you’re an angel.” he said sarcastically, his eyebrows raising.
Both of our tones were light and playful, and I couldn’t remove the smile from my face if I had tried. We stood in comfortable silence, just taking in each other’s features. Laughing every now and then at each other.
I could imagine how the situation seemed hilarious, how he had whisked me off to a closet with the intent of sex that I knew we both wanted. Yet here I was, calling myself an angel, like I was innocent in the whole predicament.
“I don’t usually do this. Ever.” he remarked, a slight blush rising to his cheeks as he brought his eyes to the floor. I nodded, doing the same, “Yeah, me either. I’m not entirely sure what to do here.”
I knew what I had wanted to do, but it didn’t feel right. Not now.
“How about you give me your number, and we’ll try this again properly some other time.” he suggested, his eyes finding mine once again as his hand fell to his back pocket.
“I don’t know, I mean, I just met you.” I joked, exhaling deeply as he shook his head with a chuckle.
“You were ready to fuck me a second ago, but you don’t know if you’ll give me your number?” he asked, equally as playful as before. I took a mock sharp inhale, “Harry, such profound language.” he mumbled a ‘shut up’ between laughter before passing me his phone.
I typed my number in with a grin, handing it back to him before he stepped aside for me to pass him. When I grabbed hold of the door handle I swung my head back to glance up at him, “And don’t act like you weren’t ready to fuck me in this closet.” I spoke before opening the door and making my way back to my friends.
We had kept a close eye on one another for the rest of the night, and I had tried to find him before I had made it back home but my search was unsuccessful.
I wasn’t sure if he had even been serious about meeting again until I had received a text from an unknown number at the end of the night.
“Goodnight angel. x H” was all it said, and I had gone to sleep with a smile on my face.
That wasn’t the last time that those words had left his lips. It had become a regular phrase during our relationship. Whether it was intentional or not.
More memories flooded my mind as the song continued. I didn’t realize that he was conscious of him saying those words constantly throughout us being together, but hearing this song, I knew he was well aware of it.
“Meet me in the hallway. x H”
I shook my head with a laugh, Harry and I were crashing at Lily’s house for a few days while I waited for my things to be moved into Harry’s new house he was building. We had only been together for a month or two, but we were constantly at each other’s houses anyway, so it just felt right to do.
Lily couldn’t help throw a party in my honor, even if it was just for me moving. Honestly, I think she just wanted any reason to throw a party.
I had managed to slide out of the living room without being noticed, immediately seeing my tall boyfriend with his phone wrapped in his fingers and a smile plastered on his face.
“You know, your number is saved in my phone. You don’t always have to sign off on your texts.” I joked, moving to stand in front of him and wrapping my hands around his waist. His laughter puffed air onto the top of my head as he wrapped his arms around the back of my shoulders. “Habit.” he mumbled into my hair as his lips kissed at it.
“So, what’s so important that you had to pull me away from this fun party?” I sighed, nuzzling my nose into his broad chest before resting my face against it.
“Missed ya, is all.” he grinned, his hands rubbing at my sides.
“We’ve been with each other all night.” I laughed, glancing up to look at his face.
A smirk playing across it as his dimple popped in his cheeks. “Not what I meant.” his hands slide down towards my ass, as I yelped. “Always such a perv!” I tried my best to keep my surprised high pitched voice quiet.
He let out a low laugh, blinking slowly before looking back into my eyes “Only for you.” he cheeked, moving to nip at my neck.
“YOU TWO BETTER NOT BE FUCKING.” I heard Lily scream from the living room, she must have noticed our disappearance. “WELL NOW WE’RE NOT!” Harry screamed back before I slap him on his chest.
“Let’s go back in there.” I suggested, taking his hand in mine before beginning to walk away. He brought my hand to his mouth, kissing it lightly before following behind me.
“You’re like a drug.” he whispered, catching me off guard as I turned back to him.
“I’m addicted to you.”
Nearly a quarter of the wine bottle was in my stomach within two minutes into the first song, I was trying to be strong but I didn’t know if I could be. This was torture. Remembering everything.
Remembering what I left behind.
“Babe, can you meet me in the hallway?” I heard Harry scream, I placed my book onto the mattress, shaking my head with a laugh. “Why?” I yelled in response, hearing silence in return.
“Goddammit.” I sighed, rolling off the bed with a loud thud. I dragged my feet to the door, opening it with a groan. He knew I hated moving when I didn’t have to.
“This better be a damn good reason for you to..” I started before my breath caught in my throat at the sight before me.
Christmas lights had been strung up against the walls of our hallway, and attached on them were printed out pictures of the two of us.
I could feel my entire body flush, looking back and memories we shared throughout the couple months we had been together.
He always took pictures of me: when we were eating, when we were out walking around aimlessly, before events. He always had his phone or camera out to snap photos of me when I wasn’t expecting it.
I looked at each one, gripping some softly in my fingertips as I recalled when they were taken.
There was one of us in particular that caught my eye.
It was when the weather had began to change, rain was pouring outside, and it was our very first night in his new house together.
I was wearing one of his sweatshirts, it hung down to my knees and I was wearing a pair of ridiculous Halloween themed knee socks. His arms were around my thighs and my legs were around his waist.
We both looks drained because we were, we had been living out of boxes while waiting to move and nearly getting take-out every night. This was the first night it had set in that we were living together.
I remember him setting up his camera, rushing me into frame before the timer had gone off. At the very last second he flung me up into his arms and the picture captured our genuine smiles to one another.
It was my favorite picture we had ever taken.
At the bottom, I noticed Harry’s writing;
“This was the moment I knew, meet me in the living room. x H”
I couldn’t help the eye roll that came after seeing his signature but I was too happy to comment on it. I let the picture fall from my fingers as it slapped against the wall, making my way down to the stairs that led to our living room.
My eyes immediately filled with tears as I turned the corner of the hallway, I could see the living room from the balcony just before the steps. He had strung more Christmas lights around, candles were lit around the area and he stood in the center of the room with his camera brought up to his face.
I heard it click before he looked at me from over it with a smile, “What is this?” I asked, barely able to find my own voice. “Come down here and I’ll tell you.” he smirked, placing his camera on the table beside him.
I immediately ran down the stairs and into his arms, my legs finding their home wrapped around his waist. “This is so beautiful, thank you.” I sobbed into his shoulder as I felt him laugh.
“Not as beautiful as you.” he charmed, pulling me back to rub his thumb against my cheek to wipe at my tears. “What is this for?”
He sighed, moving to place me on the couch behind him, kneeing down between my legs. He looked visibly nervous, his hands shaking as he took mine.
“I’ve been going over all the ways I could do this, and none of them felt like what you deserved. There’s been so many times that I have almost blurted this out but I wanted the first time to be as perfect as I think you are.” he spoke, his eyes looking towards the material of the couch beneath me.
His green eyes looked up to me, “Brooklyn, I love you.” he spoke and I couldn’t help but gasp. I had known I loved him a week into us being together, and I knew he cared for me but this all felt too good to be true.
He loved me. He actually loved me.
“Harry..” I began but he cut me off, his tone quick and desperate. “You don’t have to say it back now, I just really wanted to let you know and I wanted it to be a moment you remembered.” he explained before I grabbed his face in my fingers, crashing my lips onto his.
“Harry, I love you too.” I whispered when I pulled back, my forehead pressed softly against his. He let out a breath I’m not even sure he knew he was holding. His shoulders unclenching as a smile spread across his features. “You love me?” he whispered back, looking at me, to which I nodded. “I really do.”
“It was for the best.” I slurred, looking at the splatter of wine that had dripped onto my bed sheet. The same sheets that he and I had bought together after he deemed my One Direction ones I had been gifted “inappropriate”.
The same ones that I had taken from our closet in our house the night I left. The same ones I had put on Lily’s guest room mattress after having nowhere else to go when I had walked out. The same ones I had been laying on when he had texted and called me multiple times after coming home that night and realizing I was gone.
“Where are you?”
“Why won’t you answer my calls?”
“Kitten, you’re scaring me.”
“I just left our bedroom, your stuff is gone.”
“Please answer me.”
“Brooklyn, I love you so much. Where are you?”
“What did I do?”
“Meet me in the hallway.”
Tears fell as I had my phone in my hands, reading back the messages I could never bring myself to delete.
Hello all! It’s been a while since my last post and I’m looking for new long term roleplay partners. I am open to taboo subjects as well. I have no triggers and am willing to roleplay whatever you want. *****I am also looking to do a werewolf/soulmates roleplay, I am extremely interested in that**** also I always play the male or dom and would be very interested in playing a female or sub character. I WILL play anything though**** If you had ever role played with me, my phone reset kik so I lost all my conversations :( so if you could message me again and remind me what our RP was that would be great! (Harrytalks94)
WHAT I ROLEPLAY-
•original character •Harry styles x oc •Larry Stylinson •if you have a specific fandom, try to explain the show/book and we can work on a plot to suit your needs
HOW I ROLEPLAY -
•I do 1st or 3rd pov but I prefer 3rd • we PLOT before we get into it. I like to plan ahead a bit. •I do medium/long replies. I don’t mind shorter ones as long as it gives me enough to go off of for my replies. •I am versatile for playing MALE and FEMALE/ Dom and sub. I would like to play female /sub but I’m completely fine playing male characters as well. •I do mxf or mxm pairings, in not very good at fxf but I would be willing to try.
SMUT- •i don’t have any limits
•any kink is fine with me
•tell me if you want smut or not and your limits as well.
•I let my partners choose prompts and plots, but I have a list of ideas- (** =want to do, %=I’m tired of) They are combinable as well
HERE ARE SOME PLOT IDEAS!!!
Feel free to send prompts/starters **werewolf soulmates
Nerdy Harry/Marcel **
Styles twins (Harry/Edward)
Styles triplets (Harry/Edward/Marcel)
Soul Mates **
Tutor/Tutored Step siblings Stepfather Brothers best friend Dad’s best friend Nanny/father
PLEASE MESSAGE ME AND SAY YOU SAW THIS POST. If you sai ‘hey’ or ‘hi’ I probably won’t answer. Thanks! Kik- harrytalks94
The next song was a nice change of pace. When it started upbeat, I couldn’t help but exhale. Feeling a little better now that the slower songs had finished for the time being.
The first lyric didn’t pertain to me, I didn’t have family in Carolina. My emotions were at war, on one hand I was happy to have a break but on the other I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.
I had no right to be jealous.
Maybe this was the start to the closure I needed, maybe he had moved on after all. Maybe those songs were him getting it out of his system and now the rest of the album would be him moving on. Him being happy without me. I knew he would be.
“Moved all the way because her grandma told her ‘Towns, better swim before you drown’.” now I knew this wasn’t about me. My name wasn’t Towns and I didn’t have a grandma.
Towns. Towns.. why was that name so familiar? Why did I know that name. Apart from it being a location.
“We wanted to be the ones who told you.”
Lily and Miles stood before me. They had been standing awkwardly in my room at Lily’s house for a minute now.
Just staring at me.
“Okay..” I hesitated, closing my book and placing it on my bed. My full attention on them both.
“What we’re about to tell you, might hurt.” Miles started, moving to sit next to me on the mattress. “Okay..” I stated again.
“It’s about Harry.” Lily said and automatically I felt my body tense at his name. Lily knew that was a forbidden word, so this must have been something big. My full attention was on her as she moved to sit with Miles.
Miles put a hand on my shoulder. Him, Lily, and I had become closer after the break-up. I met him at the coffee shop I worked at, from the second I started training him I knew we’d become fast friends. Harry was always hesitant towards him when we first met.
Miles was the touchy-feely type, always giving hugs or reassurance through touches. Harry hated it, he was convinced he liked me but I knew that wasn’t the case. Miles and I were best friends, almost as close as Lily and I.
The three of us were inseparable, especially after Harry and I had split.
I knew Harry didn’t like that. In fact, he had blocked me minutes after I had posted a picture of Miles and I on my Twitter.
But he helped me out, he helped me a lot through all of this and I knew he was prepared to pick me up along with Lily after they had told me what they came into to tell me.
“What about him?” I stated indifferently. Lily and Miles looked to one another, “He’s seeing someone.” Lily finally spoke, her shoulders tightening.
I could barely register the words she had said to me, my eyes blinking slowly as my mouth hung open. I knew this was going to happen. I wanted it to happen. That’s why I left, so that he could be with someone better. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“Good, I’m happy he’s moving on.” I said, but even I didn’t believe the words that were coming from my mouth. Which meant that they didn’t either.
They looked to one another before staring back at me in shock, “B, we cleared our days so that we could be here if you need us.” Miles said, his tone gentle. As if he thought his tone would break me. As if I was going to shatter any second now.
I felt as if I was going to break, but I did this to myself.
“It’s fine, really.” I reassured, but my voice broke. My throat betraying me as it cracked when I needed to sound strong.
The look they gave me is what hurt me, the look I hated. The one I got from everyone once I told them that Harry and I weren’t together anymore. The one of pity mixed with worry.
My hands covered my face as I openly sobbed, both of them wrapping their arms around me automatically. “We’re here.” Lily said, her tone sounding as broken as I felt. “We’ve got you.” Miles added, his hand rubbing my back.
“If it makes you feel better.. she’s got a strange name.” Miles added, his face smushed against my shoulder.
I sniffed, removing my hands from my heating face. “What is it?” I asked.
I felt worse than I did that day. I didn’t hear much about her after that, I had convinced myself that it wasn’t anything serious, but hearing this. Knowing that he cared enough to write a song about her, was the worst feeling.
And knowing how similar we seemed.
“She’s got a book for every situation.” I was probably feeding into my own ego. Trying to ease the pain of him writing about someone else, but that line summed me up.
Everyone knew I loved to read. Everyone knew how I’d rather get lost in fiction than live in reality. I always carried a book with me, and it usually was a different one everyday.
Harry always said he loved that about me, how I’d get consumed in the pages of a book. How I’d almost always buy a book and finish it that day.
“It’s just not something you see now a days.” he said, looking down to me. I had my head resting on his lap, my legs stretched along the couch as he sat watching TV. “People do it all the time, Harry.” I fought.
“People don’t read nearly as much as they use to.” he retorted, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “'As much as they use to’, okay grandpa.”
He shot me a look, “I love when you call me cute pet names.” he joked, softly nudging my head off of his lap. I sat up straight, “I just think it’s cute.” he added, moving to the kitchen. He looked back at me from the doorway, his fingers clicking the coffee maker on. “You’re cute.” I sneered.
“That was.. unusual.” he laughed, his back pressing against the counter. He placed his hands on either side of him and lifted himself up to sit on it. “What was?” I asked, turning to face him completely. My legs crossed on the couch with my arms over the back of it.
“You complimented me, but in a tone that sounded like an insult.” he explained, his fingers intertwining in the pocket of his sweatshirt. The same one he had stolen back from me after the first night we moved in.
I shrugged, “So what are you reading today?” he asked, not moving from his position on the counter but reaching back to the cabinet behind him to get two mugs. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” I replied, leaning back to pick the book back up.
“Don’t you get tired of reading that?” he asked, shaking his head with a smile. “It’s my favorite.” I replied, to which he nodded. “I know, I was just messing with ya.” he said, his voice sounding similar to an old man.
“You’re one of the most intriguing people I’ve ever met.” he spoke up, filling both mugs with coffee, not meeting my eyes after his comment. My face twisted, feeling content and confused at his words. “Why do you say that?” I asked, taking my mug from him as he moved back to the couch. My body contorting as I followed his movements.
He shrugged, “You’re this little bookworm, who’d rather spend days in doing nothing than go out. Which I love, but when you do go out, it’s like all eyes are on you. You could go to anyone’s house and they’d welcome you to their parties without even knowing you.”
I didn’t understand what he was saying, I always felt awkward at parties. I only spoke when spoken to and half the time I barely wanted to be at them, but I would never ruin the night by actually acting that way.
If anything, he was describing himself. Everyone always wanted to be around him. “I think you have us confused.” I remarked, blowing into my coffee.
“It amazes me how you don’t see yourself like I see you.” he laughed, “You think you’re such a good girl.”
As the song went on, the worse I felt. Certain lines stuck with me, shooting me like an arrow to my chest. I knew once I heard how he always thinks of her that he had moved on.
He had found someone that inspires him positively. Inspires him enough that he wrote a beautiful and upbeat song about it. I guess him and Towns were more serious than I thought.
“I met her once and wrote a song about her. I wanna’ scream, yeah, I wanna’ about it out and I hope she hears me now.”
He moved on.
He became intrigued by someone new. Someone who seemed twenty times better than I ever was. Hell, just hearing the way he summed her up made me want to be her. That was the type of girl Harry needed to be with.
Someone like him.
I should’ve realized it the second we met, I should’ve known that he never would’ve been truly happy with me. Maybe then I would’ve saved us both the heartbreak and time we spent with one another. Time he could’ve used to find his perfect match.
“I wouldn’t have brought you here if I knew it was where you worked.” Harry attempted to apologize as we sat in the coffee shop. “It’s really okay, I don’t mind.” I laughed, pulling my cup to my lips. I didn’t even wait for my coffee to cool completely, I needed to quench my dry throat if we were going to continue having a conversation.
Despite what I originally though, Harry texted me the very next day after we had met at the club the night prior. He kept his promise and asked to take me on a proper date.
“I just figured, I like the coffee here and I wanted to go somewhere we could actually talk.” he explained further, his fingers twisting together in the center of the table. His eyes never meeting mine.
He looked incredible. I wasn’t sure if he had dressed in an attempt to impress me or if this was how he typically dressed, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him.
His black shirt was rolled to his elbows and button only half way up his chest, his tattoos on full display. I would’ve started to drool if I didn’t stay conscious of my actions. His hair was styled so that his bangs were pushed from his face, showing off his incredible bone structure.
I could feel everyone staring at him, he seemed to just have that kind of effect on people. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person in here swooning over him.
His lip was caught between his teeth, his fingers now spinning the rings adorning on them. “Harry.” I said, my tone amused, his face lifted to finally meet mine. “It’s really okay.” I reached my hand to touch over his on the table, his face flushing as he nodded.
I removed my hands from his, the burning sensation I felt from touching him was becoming too much. His eyes fell down to his fingers, rubbing over where my hands had been.
“I’m surprised you actually got in contact with me.” I tried to hide my surprise as humor but I don’t know how convincing it actually was. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you, actually.” he whispered, and his face quickly changed to panicked. As if he hadn’t meant to say those words out loud.
“I mean, not in a creepy way.” he rushed, his voice on edge as he looked at me with wide eyes. His hand held up in defense.
He was so cute.
“I think I know what you mean.” I tried to help, but it didn’t seem to work. His face fell to the table as he sighed, “I’m usually very good at this.” he said, and he looked as if he had realized he put his foot in his mouth again. “Not like I do this all the time. I haven’t even gone on a date in almost a year.” he tried again, his fingers pushing into his eyes. His shoulders seems as if they clenched anymore they’d be at his ears.
I couldn’t help but laugh, I had tried to keep it in but it was no use. He was just too damn cute.
“What? What is it?” he panicked, his eyes wildly searching mine.
I couldn’t stop laughing if I wanted too, I was trying to get the words out but they kept getting masked by giggles. “You’re so precious.” I finally got out.
“It’s just, you make me nervous.” he sighed, his fingers returning to twirl at his rings. My hand found his once more, the heat returning but I welcomed it with open arms. His words calmed me, I had been a nervous wreck but I didn’t want him to know that.
“You’re the type of girl people write songs about.” he said, his hand moving slowly to wrap in mine. He moved slowly, as if he moved any faster I would’ve disappeared.
I was taken back by his words, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. “I bet you tell all your girls that.” I joked, to which he locked eyes with me for the first real time since we had sat down. “I’ve never told anyone that.” he said, a smirk sliding across his face.
Now it was my turn to blush, “So have you written a song about me?” I charmed, trying my best to calm myself. His smirk did things to me. Things that were not appropriate. Things that made me want to jump over this table right here and now.
He continued to grin, shrugging, “I could write a whole album on you.”
“We’ve spent a total of thirty minutes together today.” I laughed, my eyes glued on his lips.
“I wanted to write an album after spending five minutes with you in that storage closet.” he continued, moving one of his hands to sip at his coffee.
I looked at our locked fingers, feeling my throat grow dry once more. I felt as if I was frozen, I couldn’t move my other hand to grab my drink because I was afraid if I moved at all he’d let go.
“I can’t imagine what an album about almost fucking would sound like.” I joked as best as I could with my throats feeling raw.
He removed his hand from his coffee to run his fingers through his hair, “I did leave a little early to write something, but it’s not finished.” he laughed.
“Can I hear it?” I asked, finally building enough courage to reach for my drink. Our hands still molded together. He shook his head.
“Not at all.” he smirked to me once more.
“What’s it about?” I pushed, wanting to know more about how I had inspired him. “I can’t imagine that it’s family friendly.” I replied to which he laughed.
“Actually the opposite.” he said, his eyes seeming as if they were glued to mine. I raised my eyebrows as he continued, “It’s about how you’re an angel.”
He had lied to me, he had told me he had never told another girl that he wanted to write about her. Yet here I was, listening to an entire song about a girl that wasn’t me.
Is this really what I wanted? To have him go on with his life and leave me behind? It’s best for him but was it healthy for me? Was it healthy that I was even listening to this in the first place?
No. No, it was not.
I should stop listening. I should do what Lily said and just lie and say I heard it all.
I shouldn’t be putting myself through this, it felt as if I was purposely trying to make myself upset by doing so.
Maybe I was. Maybe I needed to have my own pity party. Maybe I needed to push myself past my limits so that I could finally move on from him. Maybe I was insane.
I don’t know.
All I do know is that the third song had come to an end and I couldn’t stop myself from letting the next one start.
HI, IVE BEEN TRYING TO POST THIS FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS BUT IT WOULDNT UPLOAD AND IM ON EDGE. LEMME KNOW IF YOU LIKED IT. XX
My brain felt broken and I was tired, I was nearly two bottles of wine deep in only forty minutes. I felt drowsy, my eyes were red and swollen and I just wanted to sleep.
Tonight has been one of the most emotionally draining nights I’ve had in a very long time. I had kept my feelings towards the Harry situation locked inside of myself until this night, I figured it was better to feel numb than sad. I was probably right, since tonight’s actions had completely drained me of every emotion besides sadness.
I hated knowing how he felt, I know that Lily had said I needed to know but I hated it. Mainly because it made me hate myself. I had been so sure that this split would benefit him, that he would move on quickly but I didn’t take into effect how much it would hurt him.
How much I had hurt him.
As the final song started, I could barely even register what was happening. My mind spinning as the wine took its full effect on me, my brain not being able to comprehend what was going on.
I guess that was a good thing, seeing how no memories came from the title. I was exhausted mentally from every recollection I had experienced for the last half hour or so.
I figured I could listen to this song in its entirety and not flashback to a day we shared, I was fried.
“Woke up alone in this hotel room, played with myself. Where were you?” he sang, and a familiar sting panged in my chest. Where was I? He was alone. I had left him alone.
I had walked out on him without another word, he didn’t even know if I was okay. He didn’t know what I was feeling. He didn’t know if I had left because I no longer loved him, which wasn’t true. I hadn’t stopped loving him. To this day, I still loved him but he didn’t know that. I can’t imagine how that made him feel.
“Fell back asleep, I got drunk by noon. I’ve never felt less cool.” Harry was never really one to drink, only in celebration.
I could see him in my head, broken and scared. Not knowing what had happened between us, just knowing that I was gone. I could see him, a bottle in his hand, trying to erase our past with every sip of alcohol he could get his hands on.
I saw him alone, in a hotel room, drinking until he couldn’t remember what my face looked like. Trying his best to replace our memories with the burn of whatever he had in his bottle. I could see him doing it, because there were many nights I had done the same thing. Shit, I was doing it now.
“We haven’t spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won’t you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”
For the final time tonight, I knew he was speaking to me. His voice had sounded so small, so desperate for an answer that had never come.
He had attempted to reach out to me countless times, being the first one to try to rekindle our relationship even though I had been the one to end it. He wanted so desperately for me to try to make contact with him, but I hadn’t. I couldn’t.
I wanted him to be better after I left, and I knew if I had caved and tried to talk to him it would only prolong him from being better. I was doing it for his benefit, at least in my head I was. I could understand how now it didn’t seem that way in his.
In his mind, I abandoned him. Well, I had abandoned him but it was logical in my mind. It was for him.
“I saw your friend that you know from work, he said you feel just fine.” He said, and I immediately thought of Miles. This song couldn’t be referencing Miles, Harry left New York months ago. This song wasn’t about me. It couldn’t be, Miles was in New York. Harry was not.
I breathed a sigh of relief, at this point, I didn’t care if a song was about someone else. I just needed it to be over, I was so so tired.
I looked at the clock, it was about two in the morning. Miles could possibly still be awake, but maybe he wasn’t. He did have a shift in the morning, still, I needed to know for sure this wasn’t about me. I needed the confirmation that Miles wasn’t the “friend from work”.
I threw up my comforter, attempting to find my cell phone that had been discarded throughout my bed the entire night.
Once I finally found it, I pulled up Miles’s name. I didn’t want to risk calling him. I didn’t want to wake him if it wasn’t necessary. The song wasn’t about me or him, so there was no rush on finding out whether or not he had seen Harry recently.
I opened our messages and quickly typed to him;
“have you, by any chance, talked to Harry”
I knew he’d be thrown off by the question, considering Harry’s name had been banned among my friend group. I knew he’d be concerned, but I’d explain that all later.
“I see you gave him my old t-shirt, more of what was once mine.” Okay, that was a little eerie.
“Are you sure about this?” Miles asked, struggling to carry the cardboard box in his hands. He kept his eyes on me in my frantic state, running around my room and throwing random articles of clothing into said box.
“I’m sure, I can’t see him.” I replied, huffing as I stood in my closet. “He needs this stuff back, I didn’t mean to take it. It’s not fair to him to keep his clothes.” I answered, a hand wiping sweat from my brow.
“I don’t think I’m the person to do this. Have you asked Lily?” he questioned, his tone hesitant. I glared back to him, “Of course I have.”
“She said no.”
“She said no.” I confirmed, nodding my head with my eyes shut. “Said that if I wanted to give him his stuff back, I should do it myself. Explain why I left in the first place.” I sighed, moving to sit at the edge of my bed.
Miles placed the box down, walking in front of me and crouching down to my eye level. “Maybe you should. Maybe it’ll be good for you.” he whispered, his fingers catching my cheek. His voice soothing.
I shook my head, “I can’t. I can’t see him.” I responded, tears glossing my eyes. I turned my face from him, looking out my window. “Give it back to him, or don’t. I don’t care. I just can’t have anything reminding me of him in my house.” I begged, my cheeks wet from sliding tears I hadn’t realized escaped.
I turned back to Miles, who nodded understandingly.
I never asked again what he had done with Harry’s clothing. I didn’t want to bring it up and I know he wouldn’t either.
I didn’t even consider that he would keep his clothing, or even wear it. They were similar builds so I guess they would fit him, but I never thought he would do that. He knew I knew Harry’s clothing.
I had never seen him in anything of his so I always assumed he had given it back.
My phone buzzed in my lap, Miles’s name blinking with a new message. I guess he was up.
“Saw him about two months ago, why?”
My heart raced, he was supposed to be in California. What was he doing in New York two months ago? Miles lived near me and our place of work wasn’t too far from our apartments, what was he doing in my neighborhood?
“did he talk to you?”
I held my phone tightly in my hands, waiting for his response with a heavy heart.
“Yeah. He asked about you. I didn’t want to make you upset, so I didn’t tell you.”
“How did you find out?”
It made sense now, the song was about me. I knew if Harry had contact with any of my friends they would lie and say that I was okay. They would never go behind my back and tell him the truth, that I was an absolute wreck.
“did you keep his clothes?”
I already knew the answer before he could even respond. There was no doubt in my mind that this was one last song to me.
“He refused to see me when I was supposed to give them back. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t throw them out.”
“Are you okay? What’s going on?”
I laughed bitterly, “Am I okay?” he asked. Am I okay? I don’t know anymore. I’m probably not, I’m probably not okay.
I wanted to type back, tell him everything that was going on. That I had spent my night getting drunk alone and listening to my ex boyfriend’s album. The same ex boyfriend my friends were banned from speaking about. Oh, and that I did this all willingly. That it was my choice to sit down and listen to this fucking album.
I sounded so self destructive. He’d be concerned, he would probably break down my door if I had told him what I had spent the last forty minutes doing.
I decided it was best not to answer. To explain it to him tomorrow when my head was clear and I knew exactly what I was doing. My phone continued to buzz, signifying that he had been trying to call me but I just ignored it.
“I see it written, it’s all over his face. Comfortable silence is so overrated.” He thought I had moved on, he thought I had broken another promise and ended up with Miles.
That’s why he blocked me after I had posted that picture, he thought I had done the one thing that he asked me not to do. The one thing I promised would never happen.
I mean, I also promised him I wouldn’t break up with him and I did that as well. So it makes sense why he would think that, but I would never do that to him. I would never be that absolutely vindictive.
He didn’t know that. From what I could tell, based on this album alone he seemed as if he didn’t know me at all anymore.
That hurt. That hurt more than anything. I was still the same, I was still the same person that was in love with him from the beginning.
“Why won’t you ever say what you wanna’ say? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.” It’s like he was insisting I call him, like he knew I was debating it. It felt like a sign, like I should call him.
“You need to think it through.” I said to myself, “Talk to Lily, don’t call him. You’re emotional.” I fought, my hands pushed into my closed eyes.
“Maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too.” Fuck Harry, it’s like you know what you’re doing.
Of course he does, he knew me better than anyone in my entire life. He knew how I felt, he knew my reactions to things, he knew exactly my next move before I ever pulled it.
He may not know it now, but he still knew every inch of me.
His phrase repeated, my eyes glued to my phone as he continued to tease me with the idea of calling him. I couldn’t just let him persuade me, I needed to think this through.
“But you, you never do.” he pleaded, sounding defeated. As if he had given up hope on me. Why wouldn’t he? I would. I hadn’t spoke to him in months. This was his final goodbye, his last confession of feelings to me. I was too late.
I could feel it in my heart, he had given up on me.
“Woke up the girl who looks just like you, I almost said your name.”
I felt my breathing halt, catching in my throat. I was going to be sick. How did I do this to him? What kind of person was I? Whatever kind it was, I didn’t want to be it.
Tears fell from my face, he was searching for me in other people. He had wanted me, even when he had moved on. He had slept with someone that reminded him of me, as much as it hurt to know. I knew he hadn’t moved on. At least not when he had written this song.
He still wanted me, even after everything I had put him through. I owed him, I owed him something. I had put him through so much without a single word. I needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him how I felt. How I hadn’t moved on, even if he had, he needed to know I never stopped loving him.
My vision was blurring, I didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or from my tears. As the song’s last chords played out I knew what I needed to do, and I had to do it before I had a chance to talk myself out of it.
I grabbed my phone, ignoring Miles’s messages as I brought up Harry’s name.
I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do this.
Or should I?
I let my feelings take control, I couldn’t listen to my brain any longer. That’s what had gotten me in this situation in the first place. My heart needed to win, for once.
I didn’t even realize my phone had been ringing, “H” on my screen as my finger had pressed the “call” button before I could even stop myself.
It was too late, I was already calling him.
It was a little past two in the morning at this point, I hoped he wouldn’t answer. I didn’t know what I would say if he had. I contemplated hitting “end” and just forgetting the entire night had happened. To just continue my “comfortable silence” as he put it, but I couldn’t. My heart wouldn’t let me.
“Hey, you’ve reached Harry. I’m not here, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” just hearing that sparked something in me. Hearing his familiar voice after ignoring him for months.
My eyes were shutting, being swollen from tears and consumed in alcohol. Once the beep had dinged in my ear, I couldn’t stop myself.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry Harry. I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am for leaving you. I wish I never had. I let my stupid fucking insecurities ruin us. You were the best thing that had ever happened to me, babe.” I cried, my breath quickening as I tried to blurt out everything I had kept in.
I sniffled, “I know this doesn’t change anything. You’re better off without me. I caused you so much fucking pain, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. I’m so sorry.”
I stopped to catch my breath, my eyes feeling as if they were going to slide out of my head. They hurt so bad. My shirt was soaked with my tears.
“And don’t think for a single second that I never thought about you. Fuck, I still do. I still think about you to this day, and I know there will never come a day where I don’t. Everything reminds me of you.” I confessed.
“As much as I tried to forget you, I can’t. You were my world, Harry. You always have been and you always will be.” I sighed, trying as hard as I could to calm myself with no success.
“And I know that one little call isn’t going to fix this. I don’t even know if you want to fix this. Fuck, what am I doing?” I outburst, what the fuck am I doing? My hand gripped my forehead, resting my elbow on my knee.
“This is going to probably cut me off soon. I’m sorry for calling you. I just needed to tell you this. I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry.” I hung up before I began to mentally curse at myself.
Why hadn’t I just listened to Lily? Why did I call him? I sound so fucking pathetic. I just needed to sleep, I needed this night to be over. I needed to give my eyes a damn break.
I rested against my pillow, curling into my side. I pulled my phone to my face, clicking on Lily’s name before trying my best to text her.
“I called him.”
I locked my phone, immediately receiving a call from Lily after my text had been delivered. Sighing, I silenced my phone, waiting for her call to play out.
Once it had stopped I sighed in relief, only to be cut off by my phone going off once more. Looking over, I saw Lily’s name, I couldn’t talk to her. I just needed to sleep.
I moved to hold down the lock button on my phone, sliding my finger across it and shutting it off completely. She was going to be pissed at me, but I just couldn’t handle anything more right now. I just wanted to go to bed. I wanted this night to be over.
My eyes were overtaken by drowsiness, feeling too sore to stay open any longer. I pulled my comforter to my chest, not caring that my laptop had flung itself off of my bed along with the empty bottles of wine.
I just wanted to sleep.
“Fucking hell.” I groaned, a consistent pounding in my head as I tossed my body to glance at my alarm clock. “How long did I even sleep for?” I asked, my eyes barely able to open after the night I had prior. The pounding continued, “Remind me to never drink again.” I tried to laugh, but my throat was too sore.
Once I could open my eyes a slither, I noticed the analog numbers showing 4:36 AM. I had only slept for two hours? What was I doing up? I sighed, turning back to cuddle into my pillow, begging for more sleep to come but the pounding persisted. “Jesus Christ, it’s like I can actually hear it.” I whined, closing my eyes tighter as I attempted to block the noise from my head.
“This is a weird fucking hangover.” I joked. I tried to relax, tried to get more sleep, but the pounding was too much.
“What the fuck?!” I yelled, sighing as I kicked my legs to the side of my bed. Wobbling as I attempted to regain my balance, the alcohol still very present in my system. “A fucking bottle of Advil will get rid of you.” I threaten to my own skull.
I grabbed a hold on my bedroom handle, opening it to head towards the bathroom, noticing that the pounding had gotten louder.
“What is…” I started before I realized my head hadn’t been pounding at all. It had been my front door. Who would be here this late? Then it hit me, Lily.
“Shit, she’s probably so fucking mad at me.” I thought, remembering I had texted her and then shut off my phone. She was probably so worried about me, I hadn’t been the most mentally stable leading up to that point of the night and I left her high and dry.
I scrambled into my room, the knocking continuing as I grabbed a sweatshirt out of my closet. “I know, I know.” I said, throwing it on before rushing to the door.
She was going to kill me.
I grabbed the doorknob, my free hand rubbing at my swollen eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..” I said before looking at the sight in front of me.
I had to be dreaming still.
“What..” was all I could get out. There was no way this was happening.
He looked different, his hair was hung down on his head. Wet from what I assumed was the rain pouring outside. His black t-shirt was drenched, along with his painted on jeans. A puddle formed underneath him, and I assumed he had been standing there awhile.
His eyes matched mine, red and swollen. His face wet, I wasn’t sure if it had been from the rain or from tears. This wasn’t real.
He was panting, his chest heaving but no sound came from his lips.
“Harry?” I whispered. I must have been dreaming. How was he here? He wasn’t here. This wasn’t actually happening, I was still drunk and asleep. I had to have been.
He looked me up and down, his lips turned downwards as he looked to the floor. His shoes were leaking water from them. “What are you..” I tried to ask but my mouth couldn’t handle words.
I was speechless.
“You called.” he said, his voice cracked. He had been crying.
I couldn’t look at him, and he couldn’t look at me. I wasn’t expecting this, I wasn’t expecting him to be at my door after months of not speaking. I didn’t know what to do.
He body shivered, sniffles falling from his nose, his eyes threatening to spill again. I couldn’t handle it.
“You can come in..” I asked, moving to the side behind the door. He nodded, not saying anything else as he walked into my apartment.
He looked around, taking in my house. This was the first time in a very long time that he had seen anything of mine, saw how I was living. He hadn’t even seen much of that when we were dating, we moved in together almost immediately. Everything I had was his and vice versa, but this apartment was me. All me.
My brain kicked in, snapping me out of my stunned state, “Let me get you a towel.” I spoke, my tone weak. I dashed off before he could even reply, walking into my bathroom and gripping onto the countertop.
My breathing unsteady and fast, I held onto the sink as if it was going to calm me down. As if it would make me feel normal again. It was getting harder to breathe, how was he here? Why was he here?
“Hey, hey, look at me.” his voice chimed in, rushing from the open bathroom door to my side. He turned me, hesitantly grabbing my hands and placing them on his chest. Something he use to do when I would have panic attacks, much like this one.
“H-Har..” I tried to get out but he shushed me. “Just breathe.” he soothed, taking in deep breaths as I attempted to match them. “Breathe for me, please.” he pleaded, he always hated when this happened. He told me it scared him more than anything in this world. It made him worry that he was going to lose me one day.
The irony of this happening after we had broken up was not lost on me. It took a couple seconds for my inhaling to match him, a weak smile ghosting on his face as we breathed in unison. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, to which he shook his head. “I know it happens.” he coughed, quickly removing his hands from mine.
I shook my head, “That’s not what I’m talking about.” I explained.
“I know.” he responded, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the bathroom.
I nodded, grabbing a towel and passing it to him. He wrapped it around his shoulders, engulfing his arms in it as he made his way back to the couch.
I followed him silently, not really knowing what else to do. “You called.” he repeated, his voice more confident than before.
I nodded again, “Why?” he asked and I felt my heart sink. He hadn’t wanted to hear from me. His voice sounded in pain, more pain I had caused.
I shrugged, my eyes clouding again. “No, I didn’t..” he started, taking in my state. He stood from the couch, attempting to move closer to me. I put my hand up, and he stopped immediately. “I listened to your album.”
He nodded, and it was followed by silence. His eyes falling back to his feet. “I would’ve warned you.” he started, eyes scanning the floor. “You wouldn’t talk to me. I didn’t even think you’d ever listen to it.” he shook his head, hand moving from under the towel to push at his damp hair.
“I wasn’t going to.” I confessed.
“What made you change your mind?” he asked, his eyes locking with mine. He let out a soft laugh.
“Lily.” we both said at the same time.
It was only silent for a moment before he broke it again, “Why?” he asked, and I knew what he meant without hearing him say it. He looked broken. I hated it.
“You deserved better.” I sobbed, not being able to help it.
“That’s not your choice to make.” he hissed, I knew this was coming but I still wasn’t prepared for it. “I know.” I agreed.
“You were the best thing that had ever happened to me. You have no fucking idea. You had no right to decide what I deserve and what I don’t.” he argued, his tone sharp and dark. If I hadn’t felt so numb, I would’ve been terrified.
More tears fell, I couldn’t speak. There weren’t enough apologies in the world for me to say to him. “I waited, I waited for months hoping it was all a joke. That you weren’t really gone, but you were.” he cried.
I shifted from one foot to the other, not knowing what else to do. I deserved all of this, after everything I had put him through. I deserved to hear all the things he felt, even if they weren’t good.
“You have no fucking idea what that’s like. How it destroys you. You just fucking left, Brooklyn!” he shouted, and all I could do was nod. “No note. No word from you. You were just gone.”
“I didn’t know what to say.” I tried, but he cut me off with a laugh. “Anything! Anything would have sufficed! Imagine finally feeling as if you felt love and then it’s ripped from you without any explanation!”
His head fell into his hands, “I really thought I finally had what I always craved for. That I had someone who I loved so fucking much love me back with the same intensity.” he looked over to me, “I thought I found someone who loved me.”
I felt like he had kicked me in the stomach, “I did love you! I can’t believe you think I didn’t.” he stood up, the towel falling onto the couch behind him, “How could I have not?! You just fucking left, Brooklyn.”
“I did it for you!” I yelled back, finally finding my voice after being accused that my feelings for him were false. I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him.
“I wasn’t good enough for you! You deserved someone so much better! I would never be the woman you deserved, and it killed me everyday. How dare you say that I never loved you because I still fucking do.” I screamed, tears heating my cheeks as I pushed through my voice cracks and dry throat.
He moved closer to me, “If anything I didn’t deserve you, I thought it every fucking day and the day you left I knew you realized it too.” his voice was lower, scared almost.
“You need someone who’s perfect for you, who can make you forget every bad thing that has happened just by looking into their eyes. Someone who isn’t me.” I spoke, my head shaking as he stepped closer. His finger moving my chin to look into his eyes.
“If you’re not perfect for me, why is it that after everything that has happened. After ninety-seven fucking days of silence and not knowing how you felt or why you even left. That I still get weak when I look into your eyes?” he whispered.
“Ninety-seven days?” I questioned, to which he nodded. “It’s easy to remember how long your heartbeat has been gone.” he replied, shaking his head before dropping his touch from me.
“I shouldn’t have come here.” he said, mainly to himself.
I couldn’t move, all I could focus on was the feeling of his fingers being on me. He looked at me one more time, sighing as he turned away and headed for the door.
I couldn’t let this happen, I couldn’t lose him for a second time. The first time was my own doing and I wouldn’t let him walk away from me now. “Don’t!” I screamed once he had reached the doorknob.
“Why shouldn’t I?” he questioned, his back still facing me as his hand frozen with the knob half turned. “Why shouldn’t I just leave and end this once and for all?” he pushed.
“Because I still love you.” I gasped, my answer spilling before I could even think of the words.
He took a sharp intake of breath, his head falling back as he continued to face the door. He hadn’t responded, but he also hadn’t left so that had to be a good sign.
“I love you so much, Harry. I know it may not seem like it after everything I put you through, but I do. I never stopped.” I blurted, my body still.
He turned back to me, face cold and stoic as he took in my appearance. His hand still on the handle.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much, I changed everything in my life because it hurt to remember you. Because it hurt to still love you. I thought you would be better after I left, that you would find true happiness. I know it wasn’t my decision to make but I was being selfish in the most selfless way. I just wanted you to be happy.” I cried, bringing up my sleeve to wipe my face of tears.
“But now I don’t give a shit if I’m not the one for you, I want you back. I need you back. I need you in my life. I love you so fucking much, Harry. I can’t apologize to you enough.”
He had turned to face me at this point, his eyes clouding as he looked towards the ceiling.
“If you want to leave, you can. I’m not going to hurt you any longer but if you still feel like I do. If you want to fix this, even though I know I don’t deserve it, then…” I sighed, taking a breath to dry my face.
“Then meet me in the hallway.” I said, to which his eyes snapped to mine. His brows lowered and his mouth fell open. Tears began to fall as I walked out of the living room and into the area just before my bedroom.
I rested my back against the wall, breathing harshly as I waiting for him to make his decision.
When I heard the front door open I had lost it. I had lost him. He didn’t want me anymore. I fell back even harder into the wall, realizing that it was really over. That he was really gone. I should’ve expected it, but it still hurt to know it was real.
My hands clasped around my face, hard sobs falling from my lips. “I’m so fucking stupid.” I thought. “Why did I even give him the option?” I debated chasing him down the hall, but my feet wouldn’t carry me.
I gave him a choice and he had left.
My eyes were covered by the material of my sweatshirt, making it grow damper as I sobbed. He was gone. He was really gone.
My hands pulled down from my face, but I hadn’t removed them. Fingers lightly grasped my wrists, pulling them down to reveal Harry standing in front of me.
My eyes widened, taking in him before me. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t.” he admitted, “I should’ve just left, but I can’t.”
I sniffled, his thumb coming up to rub at the tears on my shocked face. “I can’t lose you again.” he whispered, his hand moving to lay across my jaw.
“I love you, Brooklyn. I never stopped.” he said, before pulling me into him. His lips crashing against mine as I moaned, I missed kissing him so much.
He moved to grip at my thighs, pulling me up to wrap them around his waist. I cried into his kiss, I couldn’t help it. I had missed him so much, this still felt like a dream. He was mine.
“Bedroom?” he asked, and I laughed, knowing he didn’t know the layout of my apartment at all but was trying to be in charge. I moved back to point at the door down the hall.
He carried me into the room, kicking open the door before throwing me onto the bed. His body crawling onto mine, my hands clutching his shoulders. I felt if I had let go of him for a second, he’d vanish. That I would wake up in my bed alone, and that this would never had happened.
His arms moved to the sides of my head, holding him up so that he could look into my eyes. “I missed you so much, kitten.” he sighed, and I involuntarily smiled at his nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long, but the familiarity of its sound was perfect.
He peppered kisses on my face, letting out a laugh. I looked at him, my face amused as I silently pushed him to tell me what was so funny, he shook his head. “I haven’t felt this happy in so fucking long.” he confessed, his forehead resting in my neck.
I dragged my hand along his back, cause him to let out a groan. “Ninety-seven days, if my calculations are correct.” I joked, my voice muffled from my stuffed nose.
He looked at me, “Those are my calculations.”
I shrugged, “Still correct.” I laughed.
“God, you just sound so sexy. That stuffy mucus voice, I could just take you right now.” he teased, moving his hand to tickle my side. I thrashed under him, laughter spilling from my lips as I begged him to stop.
“I missed your laugh, even if you sound completely disgusting.” He smiled, moving his hand to brush back hair that had fallen on my face.
“Don’t make fun of me, I’ve had a hard night.” I whined, my bottom lip jutting out. He took it between his teeth, kissing me softly after. “I’ve had a hard few months.” he admitted, his eyes finding mine as he took in my face.
I smirked, “Tell me something I don’t already know.” I joked as he flopped his full body weight on top me of. Laughter erupting from the both of us. “Woman.” he groaned, as I kissed at his face thankful to have him back in my life.
THATS THE END GUYS. I REALLY HOPED YOU LIKE IT. IM SO HAPPY AND THANKFUL TO EVERYONE WHO READ AND SUPPORTED MY FIRST STORY! I CANT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME XX
Forever is a Long Time (But a Week is Only Seven Days)
“It is not lack of love, but a lack
of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
If there was ever a time to be a single woman in the heart of Los Angeles, the time was now, and Leotie Chang absolutely loved it. She was young, successful, almost unknowingly attractive, but most importantly, she was her own person. It was just her, no obligations, no complications, no responsibilities, and it was perfect. It was whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, with her only love being the city. As an actor and director at BuzzFeed, her job often forced her into strange predicaments for the cameras, but she’s presented with the most unimaginable situation yet: Marriage. Though it is only for one week, Leotie will find herself tied down to another person, her co-worker and equally single friend, Harry Styles. For seven solid days, it wouldn’t be just him or her, but rather Harry and Leotie, Leotie and Harry. To her, it was a fate worse than death, but it couldn’t be that bad, right?
“Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!” My fists clench as Kylie tries to clean one of my many wounds with some type of antiseptic that burns like hell.
“You asked me to do this!”
“I didn’t ask you to hurt me!” I argue and it’s a terrible mistake because then she presses the gauze harder to my shoulder, the stinging becoming borderline unbearable.
“If my hands weren’t sprained I’d choke you” I bite out and I hear the rip and tear of a new bandag.
“That’s your kink not mine” Kylie quips and my mouth drops open. I look over at Selena who turns her head slowly away from my television set.
“Really Sel?!” She shrugs with a mouthful of popcorn and gives me an apologetic look,
“it slipped out” she insists and I shake my head in mild disappointment.
“There,” Kylie says with a light pat to my shoulder,
“you’re all cleaned up” I lay against my pillows and take in a deep breath of air.
“This is torture” I say aloud and the two girls give hums of agreement.
“That’s how I felt when I had to get chemo for my lupus” Selena says and I sit up (which takes a serious amount of effort) and look at her.
“Chemo?” Kylie asks her eyes shining with curiosity Selena waves off the subject like it’s something miniscule.
“I don’t like to talk about really” she says before laughing at an old episode of America's Next Top Model.
“So are you excited? They’re waking up Justin today!” Selena gets off of the floor and takes a seat on my bed, forcing Kylie to scoot over.
“I’m anxious” I admit and it was true. I’d been out of the hospital for two weeks and for those last two weeks I’d watched Justin live in a damn near vegetative state.
“When he wakes up I’m going to have to tell him about the baby” Kylie and Selena give downcast expressions. It didn’t feel right to tell a sleeping Justin that our first child hadn’t made it, and it didn’t feel right to tell him of the fucking tragic dream I’d had of ’ Drew Kylie Bieber’.
-Two Hours Later-
“This really isn’t necessary boys. We have an elevator you know” Harry Styles and Zayn Malik each hold one end of my body, their hands and arms tip toeing around the bruised portions and wounded areas.
“Where’s the fun in that love?” Zayn asks as he maneuvers down the hallway, he’s got my legs. The bandages and casting had been taken off but I still needed crutches to get around.
“You’re light as a bloody feather, dare I say lighter than C-” A loud ‘thump’ echoes off of his man bun decorated head and Cara appears,
“You’re sleeping on the couch again Styles”
“maybe I like the bloody couch It’s b-” another 'thump’ sounds and Kendall shows up in tow.
“Stop digging yourself a deeper hole” she instructs and Zayn catches my eye and we share a quick burst of laughter.
“Alright easy does it…” Harry stresses as we try to tackle the feat of putting me into a large black SUV. When I’m settled in the car the two men high five and then climb I themselves.
“That took centuries” Selena says from the very back seat and I think that we’re all startled at first.
“How long have you been in here?” Harry asks she shrugs and pulls a chocolate bar out of her purse.
“Ah.” Zayn nods,
“Ah.” Harry mimics,
“Ah.” I finalize and then watch as Kendall, Cara, Gigi, and Kylie race to the car.
VIP Ward Cedars Sinai Hospital
“Alright Justin we’re going to take the tubes out very slowly and when I tell you to I need you to cough” the doctors had woken Justin up thirty minutes ago and after explaining his current state and situation to him they’d made quick work of some of his breathing apparatuses.
“It will be very uncomfortable at first and for that I apologize” Justin blinks his weary brown eyes and holds my hand in a weak grip. Pattie and Jeremy sit on the opposite side of the room holding hands and trying to peak over the doctor’s broad shoulders.
“Okay on the count of three” Justin blinks again and it’s only then that I notice the dark blue circles under his eyes.
“One” the doctor places a hand on the tube and Justin’s hand flexes in mine.
“Two” Pattie inhales a deep breath and I rub soothing circles onto the back of his hand.
“Three… cough!” The tube is pulled out quickly and Justin coughs like his life depends on it and in this case, it does. He coughs so hard that blood and mucus lands onto his hospital gown and the sheets and the doctor pats him heartily on the back. He’s let go of my hand to clutch at his neck, but then stops when he feels the stitches.
“Justin focus on breathing okay?” The doctor says calmly, but Justin gasps and chokes, struggling to fill his lungs with air.
“Give him an oxygen mask!” Jeremy shouts but the doctor shakes his head and thumps him on the back harder.
“He has to get the fluid build up out or else he’ll essentially drown in it” so Justin wheezes and coughs until finally he stops and takes a huge breath of air.
“How are you feeling Justin?” The doctor asks with a raised brow trying to offer him a glass of water, but Justin ignores him all together and embraces me in an awkward hug. My side hurts too much for me to lean closer but I place several kisses to his cheek and when his tears start to fall I lose it.
“I love you” I whisper and he clutches me tighter, his fingers tugging at my hair. After a few he pulls away and takes the offered drink, wincing each time he has to swallow a drop.
“Are you okay honey?” Pattie asks standing up and walking to his side. Justin nods and hands her the water so she can put it back on his bedside table. He opens his mouth to speak but croaking sounds come out and he looks dismayed. Pattie, Jeremy, and I share a look.
“Don’t strain yourself son. It’ll take awhile but we’ll get your voice back. Scooter has already-” Justin shakes his head slowly and holds up a shaking hand.
“D-” I’m relieved when a syllable leaves his lips and even the doctor seems shocked.
“Babe. Don’t stress okay?” He shakes his head. The stubborn ass. I’m about to scold him when I see him trying to form the word until he takes a deep breath and let’s out a barely decipherable,