one day it'll happen!

  • Me: sees queen Elizabeth is trending
  • Me: hasn't had an emergency news alert from the BBC
  • Me: is confused
  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: You have reached the phone of Gino Fratelli, I'm not here right now. And, uh, if this is Khonjin, hang up. I don't want to talk to you. I- the, the problem is, with you, is -uh- it's words. Words lack the parameters to accurately describe how I feel about you. But maybe this will help; Every night, I have reoccurring dream. It's you, sleeping in your bed. And it's me, with a pair or gardening sheers. And I tear that stupid-ass nose right off your face, and I put it on top of my fireplace. When your dumbass daddy comes over trying to get it back, 43 trucks fall out of the sky and land exactly where he's standing. Killing him instantly. One day, it'll happen.

spookygirl83  asked:

Hi my favorite leader of the Gillovny's team! 😉 Hope you're doing well ! Tell me, *IF one day* David & Gillian do their coming out... You'll be ready for a big party !? 😜😙😙

That’s too much honor :D I’m good beside a strep throat which makes me stay at home today and probably the whole weekend, so I’m sorry in advance for flooding your dash :D And As soon as Gillovny’s out, we organize the biggest gathering party and I won’t accept any excuse for not attending. Everyone ditch your kids, husbands, wives, jobs, we all forget about money issues and we meet up and party like there’s no tomorrow. Actually there’s no tomorrow, because she will party the day after and the day after again! 

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shellfishbeaach  asked:

"The problem with you, is uh... Words lack the parameters to accurately describe how I feel about you. But maybe this will help. Every night, I have a recurring dream. It's you, sleeping in your bed. And it's me, with a pair of garden shears. And I tear that stupid ass nose right off your face. And when your dumb brother comes over, trying to get it back, 43 trucks fall out of the sky, and land EXACTLY where he's standing, killing him instantly. One day, it'll happen.."

❝ I’m sorta concerned about your dreaming habits. Awfully morbid ! Keep sleepin’, dame. ❞

bosstoaster  asked:

Birthday, you say. What kind of prompts and pairings would a birthday something something entail? Asking for a toaster-shaped friend :3c

Ohh whoa well when you put it like that
Shance domestic-comforting-fluff probably? Like those fics where one of the otp gets sick and the other takes care of him while he rambles on because he’s feverish and it’s all super cute and warm (not necessarily ofc, just the first thing that popped to my mind)

So today in film, I pitched the idea of a zombie apocalypse focusing on the lives of two lesbians. Starring Kristen Stewart and Ellen Page. With Ellen Degeneres as the sarcastic narrator. But it would also be a musical. And it would be called The Miserable Lesbians.

relativelygayfanboy  asked:

Hi there! I'm from Denmark, and one of the great sorrows of my life is that I've never ever seen a real life raccoon :'( I hope it'll happen one day. Anyways, love your blog - have a nice day! ❤

I’m sorry you’ve never seen a raccoon friend! Maybe some day. Thank you much and I’m glad you like the blog–I made you a little something! I hope it eases the pain of never having seen one in real life :)

anonymous asked:

A rep denied the sophiam engagement rumors

Oh would you look at that, they’re not all sitting around with their thumbs up their butts after all! It looks like they’re perfectly capable of making multiple denials about other topics. Huh. 

Hey anyone buying this pregnancy story, tell me again why 1DHQ haven’t waded in on, ooh, I don’t know, the biggest rumour to hit 1D in about forever if it’s not because they’re loving the fuck out of this epic publicity?