I am SO ready for summer, I can’t wait until my finals are over so I can read more fics! There were some awesome updates this week and I also read some great new fics, enjoy!
Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts by Reiya, Explicit, 70k (WIP) One small change alters the course of both Viktor and Yuuri’s entire lives, throwing them into a bitter rivalry that spans across many years and creates a world where they both tell a very different side to the story. THIS UPDATE KILLED ME ONFNJSDKBF every update kills me tbh bUT STILL
Canoe-dling: Not Prohibited by shereadsthestars, Mature, 12k Yuuri is a seasoned counselor at Camp Okenoko who thought he was in for just another run of the mill, shenanigan filled summer with his friends. But he could not have been more wrong as he’s inevitably blindsided by the newest arrival.Enter one Viktor Nikiforov, who’s got the charms and good looks to woo whomever he pleases, and who’s interest is instantly peaked by none other than, Yuuri Katsuki. SO FUNNY OMG I died laughing while reading this omg LOVE!!
Singularby TrashKanForLife, Explicit, 14k (WIP) Yuuri fiddled with the hem of his sweater, overwhelmed by the sheer formality of this floor. He’s sure his favoured pair of sneakers only cover about twentieth of the costs for the workers’ footwear and he wonders if they pay the salon daily for their sharp appearances. Yuuri does not belong here. “Mr. Nikiforov will see you now.” 50 Shades of Grey AU but a kajillion times better!!! Must read!!!
The Suffering of Potya by kiaronna, Teen, 3.8k At first, Potya believes he’s going to the veterinarian. This means a great deal of cursing from Yuri, as he tries to unsuccessfully lure Potya into the pet carrier. But as in all things, his human wins, and Yuri stalks out the door with carrier in hand, only twenty minutes late. Potya accepts his fate. Soon, he realizes greater horrors are in store for him: Yuri’s dropped him off with the dopey poodle couple, the snuggly and curly bastards. SO cute, I love how this is from Potya’s and the other pets POV!
Nocturne by Nostalgia-in-Starlight (UniverseEndingParadox), Mature, 6.9k (WIP) It’s a charmed life, rife with luxury and glamour and a doting husband who gives him the world on a silver platter. But it’s also a peculiarly lonely life, being married to the underboss of one of the biggest ‘yakuza’ in operation. Victor wouldn’t trade it - or his husband - for any other world. Wow, LOVE this mafia AU, one of my faves for sure!
Money Shot by Ashida, Explicit, 21k (WIP) So Yuuri waited, felt his heart edge back down from his throat as Victor let him catch his bearings, as he just sat and watched Yuuri calm down, patient even though the time he was paying for was ticking. “Strip for me, Yuuri.” came his first instructions in the lull of silence, the same words he always got, and this is how it always began. Guuuuuuuuuuurl I cannot WAIT to see what happens next after that update!!!
And Once Upon a Song by missmichellebelle, Teen, 12k (WIP) A popular high school ice hockey star and a shy, academically gifted transfer student discover they share a secret passion for singing. When they end up accidentally auditioning for the lead roles in the school musical, it threatens East High’s rigid social order and sends their peers into an uproar. High School Musical AU!! Do I need to say more?? So good!
Kintsugi by witchbane, Explicit, 90k (WIP) ***Graphic depictions of violence (read the tags!) Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia. When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other. SUPER intense mafia AU that I am absolutely obsessed with! Not for the light of heart, but if you’re interested I would HIGHLY recommend this if you’re into mafia AUs!
(˃̶͈̀＿˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ﾉ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎
Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love!
Can all the misinformed Americans and Brits pipe down for a second? I’m rolling out the historical carpet from the perspective of someone who’s actually grown up in the Middle East and why none of this matters.
I heard Aladdin or as I knew it, as ‘The Magic Lamp of Alaa el-Din’. It is one of the most popular tales from the region, next to Sindbad, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves and but guess what?
It’s a trainwreck of a tale, so is Disney’s adaptation. Why? Because it makes no sense, culturally or historically. Why? It’s not authentic. It’s not actually a real part of the stories Schehrezade/Shahrazad told to King Shahrayar in One Thousand and One Nights.
It was added in by a European translator, Antoine Galland, then later accepted as part of canon.
BRIEF HISTORY LESSON:
One Thousand and One Nights is a collection of folktales presented in a story-within-a-story context. King Shahrayar of Persia’s wife cheated on him, he then had her and her lover put to death, but her infidelity drove him mad with paranoia. He decided to marry every virgin in the kingdom them put her to death come morning so she wouldn’t have the chance to cheat on him.
Alas, he ran out of virgins, all except for his grand-vizier’s daughter Shahrazad. She agreed to marry the king, assuring her father she had a plan. After their wedding night, Shahrazad began the distraction plot to end all plots. She asked the king if he wanted to hear a story and spent the whole night entertaining him with it, making sure to end with the start of another tale. Once he’s ask “What happened?” she’d tell him, “Wait for tomorrow,” and restart the same process.
She kept him on the episodic hook for a thousand and one nights, spinning so many tales and retelling many until she finally ran out. But, by the time she did, they had developed a good relationship, had children, and he no longer cared about his kill-come-sunrise rule, and they lived happily ever after.
So, why is Aladdin a trainwreck? For starters, it’s set in CHINA. And China is for some reason ruled by a sultan. Sultans are the titles of Ottoman kings, as in Turks. Aladdin is recruited by a sorcerer/Jafar from the Maghreb, which is typically used to refer to Morocco (literally called El Maghreb in Arabic) or all of NA sans Egypt. The Princess is called Badroulbadour not Jasmine, and while she has an Old Arabic name ‘badr al badour / full moon of full moons’, she is described as being from the FAR EAST. She was never an Arab, neither was Aladdin!
Can you tell this was made up by a confused foreigner?
So, we have a Turkish king in China, Aladdin is Chinese, Jafar is Moroccan and Jasmine is Japanese. It’s the same in the Disney movie. The style of the characters and background in Disney’s Aladdin is unmistakably an Persian-Indian fusion with some Ottoman sprinkled in. The concept of a genie/djinni is literally the only Arab part of the tale.
1. Jasmine’s headpiece/tiara, appearance, and pet tiger point to Indian. But she wears harem pants/şalvar, which are Turkish (Indian version shalwar).
Actually, she’s a toned-down version of a belly-dancer. Belly dancing is practiced from Egypt to Lebanon to Persia and India, it was spread by the Ottomans.
2. The Sultan is styled like a merge between a Sikh maharajah (Indian) and a sultan (Turkish).
3. The magic carpet is also an Indian concept (Prince Husain, son of the Sultan of the Indies in OTaON retrieves a magic carpet from India.)
4. The sultan’s palace is based on the Taj Mahal
5. The Genie/djinni is the lone Arabic concept.
Here’s what lots of Westerners don’t get. All of these cultures have bled on one another. From the Maghreb to Egypt, to the Levant, to Turkey, to the Arabian Peninsula, to Iraq, to Persia and India we all share so many traits because of trade, history or, you guessed it, invasion. Cultural exchange is pretty common, I grew up with a lot of Persian stories, Indian products and Bollywood movies in theatres, leftover Turkish culture and food from Ottomans, Arab culture from prior invasions, interaction and language, and so, so many Lebanese pop stars.
It’s actually pretty smart to amass a cast from different parts of the Near, Middle and South East, so to include everyone who likely grew up with Shahrazad and her many, many tales.
If there’s anyone you should have a problem with, it’s Will Smith as the genie. It’s pretty transparent how you all ignored how this is the second time a black man plays the genie (first on Once Upon A Time) but sling hate at Naomi Scott for being Indian.
Oh, and Disney fucked up by blaring Arabian Nights at the start and end of the movie, because One Thousand and One Nights is NOT called Arabian Nights. It’s called Alf Leyla w Leyla - literally ‘A Thousand Nights and One’.
It’s a collection of Persian, Indian, Egyptian, Arabic, Mesopotamian and Jewish folklore that was compiled in Arabic.
Aladdin is being played by the Egyptian Mena Massoud, Jasmine is by the Indian Naomi Scott and the rest of the cultures involved should be cast.
Oh, and to all people saying Naomi is ‘too light’ and ‘half-whitewashing’. Take your racial purity and stick it up your nose. Middle Eastern, Indian and North African girls come in all shades, even if both sets of grandparents are native to the region.
PS. Avan Jogia is seriously out there saying him playing Aladdin would have ‘been wrong’ because ‘he should be Middle Eastern’ but he had no problem playing King Tut, who is EGYPTIAN? As in Middle Eastern??
Quit your virtue-signaling, Rami Malek is still the only Egyptian to ever play one in Western media.
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there lived a beautiful princess. She was a young princess, innocent and naive and clueless about the world. All she knew was the world behind the castle walls, the world that was her own little kingdom, and what a gorgeous kingdom she had indeed. For everything thrived and there were no disloyalty or burglary, there was only love and peace.
Her castle was her bedroom chamber, high above on the east wing of her father’s domain. It towered above her little kingdom, where rows of magnificent roses, blooming dandelions and vibrant bougainvillea grew. Further west, there was a sparkling pond where the merpeople lived.
It was her own kingdom, seen only by the eyes of her imagination, because she was often lonely. She had no friends, no partner-in-crime. Her handmaidens were all older than her and they tended to her every need, nothing more, nothing less. Her guards only existed to give their life for her, not to befriend her. Therefore, she created her own friends with the power of her mind… and loneliness.
But one day, something quite extraordinary happened.
A knock resonated through the princess’s bedroom, causing her to move from her place by the window. “You may enter.” she informed the person outside. The oak door to her bedroom opened with a creak and one of the servants of the castle entered, bowing before straightening himself.
“Your Highness,” he said with a clear voice, “the King and Queen requests your audience.”
She nodded at the servant. “Tell them I will be there shortly.” The servant bowed once more and left her room, closing the door behind him. As soon as he left, she called her handmaidens to change her clothing. When meeting her parents, she had to be dressed appropriately, and a casual gown such as the one she was wearing now was unfit for such occasion.
Once she was ready, she headed through the stone corridors towards the throne room, accompanied by her loyal guards. All her subjects that she passed bowed or curtsied to her, their princess.
“Her Royal Highness, Princess [F/N].” she heard someone announce before the large doors opened for her.
When she entered the throne room, she immediately noticed there were a few unfamiliar faces. Though she was only a young girl at the mere age of nine, she was well-educated and mature for her age. From the way they were dressed, they were Knights.
Everyone lowered their heads as the princess entered and no one spoke a word. She walked up to her parents and curtsied before speaking. “You have summoned me, father?”
“Yes, my dear.” her father stated kindly, reminding her that even under formal circumstances he was still the same man that tucked her to bed every night, no matter how busy he was, “I have called you to meet your new personal guard.”
“My… personal guard?” [F/N] repeated, confusion laced in her voice, “is there a reason for this? I have many already…”
Her father sighed and gave her a weary smile. “I’m afraid I have to remove most of them from their duties guarding you.”
“Why?” she asked, slightly alarmed.
“You do not need to know the reason now, my child. Now, come.” her father urged, beckoning her forward. Although she was still clueless to what was happening, she did as she was asked.
From the corner of her eye, she saw a young boy, about her age or perhaps a little older, step forward. Though small like her, he certainly didn’t look weak or feeble. He wore the clothes of a knight and had a sword strapped to his belt.
“This is Sir Damian, of House Wayne.” her mother voiced, “as you know, House Wayne has been loyal to the [L/N] family for generations. They are the most skilled warriors of this land. The young man is tasked with protecting you. He will go where you go, fight your battles, and if needed, lay down his life for you.”
[F/N] nodded and turned back to study Sir Damian. He had sharp features with a slightly exotic complexion. His tanned skin brought out his emerald eyes, something she decided she liked most about him.
She watched as he got down to one knee, lowering his head. He said his oath, swearing to protect her, before raising his head to look at her. Not knowing what to do, she simply smiled kindly at him.
Quotes from literature to inspire you when writing!
“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.” - J. D. Salinger, “A Girl I Knew”
“The curves of your lips rewrite history.” - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
“A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you to know that you inspired it.” -
Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
“I took a photo of us mid-embrace. When I am old and alone, I will remember that I once held something truly beautiful.” - Joe Dunthorne, Submarine
“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.” - W. H. Auden, “The More Loving One”
“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” - John Steinbeck, East of Eden
“Who, being loved, is poor?” - Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance
“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” -
Nicole Krauss, The History of Love
“The pieces I am, she gather them and gave them back to me in all the right order.” - Toni Morrison, Beloved
“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.” - Alfred Tennyson
“I’m watching her talk. Watching her jaw move and collecting her words one by one as they spill from her lips. I don’t deserve them. Her warm memories. I’d like to paint them over the bare plaster walls of my soul, but everything I paint seems to peel.” - Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies
“I don’t want you to miss all the things that someone else can give you.” - Jojo Moyes, Me Before You
“You can love someone so much… But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” - John Green, An Abundance of Katherines
“If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.” - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
“Just… isn’t giving up allowed sometimes? Isn’t it okay to say, ‘This really hurts, so I’m going to stop trying’?” -
Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl
“I’m just so thankful for our little infinity.” -
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“I hope, or I could not live.” - H.G. Wells
“I hadn’t expected that a tiny glimmer of hope for the future could transform someone so utterly.” -
Dai Sijie, Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress: A Novel
“Your eyes are full of language.” - Anne Sexton, Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters
“You were at the age where you could fall in love with a girl over an expression, over a gesture.” -
Junot Dìaz, This Is How You Lose Her
“You can pretend for a long time, but one day it all falls away and you are alone.” - Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea: A Novel
“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.” - Ian McEwan, Atonement
“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” - Margaret Mitchell, Gone With The Wind
“I like flaws. I think they make things interesting.” - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
“He doesn’t want you to be real, and to think and to live. He doesn’t love you. But I love you. I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when I hold you in my arms.” E.M. Forster, A Room With A View
“The more you love someone, he came to think, the harder it is to tell them. It surprised him that strangers didn’t stop each other on the street to say I love you.” - Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated
“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” -
Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
“We can experience nothing but the present moment, live in no other second of time, and to understand this is as close as we can get to eternal life.” -
P.D. James, The Children of Men
“I know. I was there. I saw the great void in your soul, and you saw mine.” -
Sebastian Faulks, Birdsong
“Above, the starts shone hard and bright, sparks struck off the dark skin of the universe” - Stephen King
“The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
“If it weren’t for her, there would never have been an empty space, or the need to fill it” - Nicole Krause, The History of Love
“I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world…” - Frank O’Hara, Having a Coke With You
“It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.” - Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Contrast & Parallels: Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow
-Both of their fathers died before they were born.
-Both of their mothers died giving birth to them.
-Both were sneak away to a geographically opposite location from the one they
were born in order to keep them save from those who would harm them (Jon went
from South to North and Dany from West to East).
-Both grew up emotionally abused by someone close, Dany by
her brother Vuserys and Jon by his stepmother Catelyn (Dany’s abuse was greater of course, Jon’s was more neglect).
-All Dany had was her name and her brother, she had no
home and no security. Jon did not have a name but he had
a family, a home and security.
-One was educated by Maester’s and Master at Arms (Jon),
the other one was mostly self-thought with some education by her brother (Dany).
-Both are methodical but in completely different ways, Jon
is more analytical and Dany is more intuitive.
-Both are described as highly observant, especially throughout AGOT.
-At the beginning of their arcs they both embark on adventures. Jon
goes North to the Wall and Dany goes East towards the
-Both receive/find their magical companions at the beginning of their arcs.
-Both of the magical companions are the alpha’s of their pack. Ghost the wolf is
white with red eyes, Drogon the dragon is black with red eyes.
-Both have dreams about their animal companions.
-Both reluctantly join cultures that are considered barbaric by others. Both are
forced into a relationship from a members of these barbaric cultures. Both fall
in love with these “barbarians”. Both are indirectly responsible for
the deaths of their lover’s.
-Both think of these lover’s often well after they have died (especially
-Both have resided in extreme climates. Dany in the
dessert of the Red Waste and the heat of Slaver’s Bay and Jon
at the Wall and beyond the Wall.
-Currently, one is in the South and one in the North, one is in the East and one
is in the West.
-Both long for home and the family member’s they didn’t know.
-Both encounter abandoned cities in ACOK (back to back chapters Daenerys I &
Jon II) described as white cities, Whitetree and Vaes Tolorros.
-They both come to leadership at a young age.
-Both try to change long standing institutions, Dany is
trying to abolish slavery while Jon is trying to change
the Night’s Watch
-Both are trying to right wrongs committed by their ancestors, Dany
is fighting slaver with her dragons, where once upon a time the Valyrians used
their dragons to enslave people. Jon is trying to bring
the Wldinglings back into Westeros while once upon a time it was the north lead
by the Stark’s that left the Wildlings beyond the wall and kept them there.
-Both encounter great resistance from the establishment, those who wish to
maintain the status quo.
-Jon tries to change the system from within (as he is a
brother of the Night’s Watch and a Westerosis) Dany tries
to change the system as an outsider.
-Both face many setbacks and become increasingly frustrated with their roles as
-They are both betrayed by said establishment and face assassination attempts. Dany is able to escape her would be assassins by flying away a
top her magical animal companion while Jon’s assassination
attempt is successful because he locked away his magical animal companion.
-Both yearn for the child they cannot have, in ASOS Jon
lament that he will never have a son and in ADWD Dany laments that she will
never have a daughter.
“I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A
son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live
his life on the Wall.” When considering Stannis offer to become Lord of
Winterfell, which he rejects.
“I will never have a little girl. I was the Mother of
ETA: A few more
-Both have Mormonts as mentors, Jon has Jeor and Dany has Jorah.
Also, Jon wields the Mormont family sword Longclaw which once belonged
-While Jon wants to be like his father Ned, Dany is the opposite, she doesn’t want to be anything like her father Aerys.
-Both have chosen to place duty over love, Jon with Ygritte when he chose the Night’s Watch and the realm over her and the WIldlings and Dany with Daario (problem more lost) when she broke things off with him to marry Hizdhar for the good of Meereen.
-Both start their journey in AGOT with a feast. Jon’s first AGOT chapter is during the feast for King Robert. Dany’s first chapter in AGOT is the preparation for her wedding feast to Khal Drogo.
-Daenerys was offered the chance to return to Westeros, but she decied
to stay in Meereen to rule and help her people. Jon was offered to be
made a Stark of Winterfell, but he refused because he knows he has a
duty to the Night’s Watch, and because he feels that as a bastard, he
doesn’t have morally the right to be Lord of Winterfell.
Both want the best for all the sides, and both struggle to be accepted
by those they rule. They both turn their attention to the outcasts of
the society,to those other people refused: Jon cares for the Wildling,
and is the first Lord Commander in history to make peace with them and
allow them to cross the Wall; while Daenerys releases thousands of
enslaved people and does everything she can to keep them alive.
Both think of their family they never knew: Jon quite a lot of his mother, and Daenerys of Rhaegar and Aerys, and her ancestors.
-Daenerys feels the need to carry her Targaryen lineage and
fulfill the duty to her House, Jon also want to impress his adoptive
“He was no true Stark, had never been one … but he could die like one.
Let them say that Eddard Stark had fathered four sons, not three.
“Remember who you are, Daenerys,” the stars whispered in a woman’s voice. “The dragons know. Do you?”
I was having trouble following this game with all the satellite imagery and the rotating gifs, so I plotted everything on Google Maps.
What the hell is going on here?
As Danny said, the line of scrimmage (I think that just means the place where they line up to start the play), was in this small town of Gresham, specifically at the intersection of Pine and Maud. Instead of trying to break through the line, she retreated west, and the booked it south down Highway 69.
She continues south until she passes Lincoln Creek, which prevents the defenders from the North from getting in front of her as she goes east, as long as she can beat them past the 462nd bridge.
Upon crossing the creek, she cuts diagonally across the field. She could have just followed the road, but Pythagoras is a dick so it would have taken 1.34 times as long.
Once she goes as far east as she can, follows the creek southeast until she hits McKelvie road.
She crosses the creek again at the Seward bridge. She’s pretty safe there. As Danny said, it’s hard to catch a lone ball carrier in an urban area. Her next problem is all these bare plains and Iowa is setting up a long wall of defenders on 154th street.
This is where we first tuned in on chapter 2.
She runs into the twister, which flings her all the way to a field just northeast of Garland. This is pretty far, but not far enough to skip over the line of defenders, so she cuts northwest across the Oak Glen State Wildlife Management Area.
After leaving the park going west, she moves north-northwest through all these lakes, and concludes her run for the day by rushing west to the small town of Bee.
This was Nancy’s entire run for the date of July 2, 17776.
Note: This is the last time that the Dope Kid or Fresh Soul series will have such a huge roster across both playlists. From now on it’ll be the same artist for both versions, just different songs. I want to make sure I give attention to great artists and give myself time to look for more. I take it very seriously that I show you guys quality music. ENJOY! ~ The Music Plug // @lvdeo
Stories from Wonderland (headcanon/part of my fanfiction)
the 4 Guardians of Wonderland, mysterious beings who left the world long time ago - even after the great resurrection and Frabjous Day, the wonderlandians kept believing in them and honored each one of them with a special day. But everybody knows that a divinity can’t just disappear. What if the guardians were reborn, captured in someone elses body, waiting for the day to wake up and once again to rise above Wonderland…only time can tell! (more details, from last post’s story) the 4 Guardians of Wonderland, mysterious beings who left the world long time ago - even after the great resurrection and Frabjous Day, the wonderlandians kept believing in them and honored each one of them with a special day. But everybody knows that a divinity can’t just disappear. What if the guardians were reborn, captured in someone elses body, waiting for the day to wake up and once again to rise above Wonderland…only time can tell!
Long time ago, when the world has been made, four divine guardians rose to watch over it. One of them was a beautiful goddess with a kind heart, determined to protect the creatures of this world. Her light shone brightly from the east and fend off any evil, that could have harmed this world. Except for one day, when a great star fell down from heaven, which caused the death of many people. The light of the goddess shone upon them and gave them new life. From this day onwards the people of Wonderland celebrate eastern, to honor the goddess of resurrection, the guardian of the east.
“Therefore I have reached the decision that we should not trouble those Gentiles who are turning to God, but we should write to them to abstain only from things polluted by idols and from whatever has been strangled and from blood and the girls should abstain from sexual immorality.” Acts 13:19-20(Except, NO. NOT REALLY.)
Among liberal Christians, there’s this tendency to decide that in the name of gender equality, everyone should be exempt from sexual morality. Among conservative Christians, there’s a tendency to really think sexual morality is important. For girls. On both sides of the aisle, we just don’t really expect anything out of our boys and men. And there’s a great deal of misogyny there, but I think there’s also an enormous touch of accidental misandry.
We don’t expect anything out of our boys because at some point in human history, we decided that women can resist their sexual appetites, but men can’t. To quote my ex-boyfriend, “guys have a natural animalistic urge”. Men have to look at women. Men have to watch porn. Men have to have sex. At best, women are expected to allow a certain level of infidelity from their significant others. At worst, women are shouldered with the responsibility of keeping men from wandering into sexual immorality. We’ve made women into virgin goddesses, and we’ve made men into beasts. And it’s unfair to everyone.
How We’re Failing Our Boys
We see it in the school system all the time. Students tend to meet expectations. When nothing is expected of them, they never fail to deliver. That’s human nature. When someone is expected to fail, they tend to not see the point of trying to succeed. A few do. A few become determined to defy expectations. Those few are incredible, because they are rare. For the most part, if someone is given an excuse from the get-go to behave as they please, success is not going to be their primary goal. And if a boy is told in a million subtle and not-so-subtle ways from childhood that he can’t resist his urges, sexual morality is not going to be his primary goal.
Once upon a time and in some places today, a woman was expected to cover herself to keep men from sin. In the Middle East, for example, women are, in many cases, still to blame if they are raped. She seduced that man. She tempted him. He is just an animal gifted with speech and he can’t keep his penis to himself if he sees a pretty woman.
Ain’t hatred a double-edged sword?
It’s not quite that extreme in the United States. The vast majority of people here understand that rape is the rapist’s fault. But tell someone that you expect your boyfriend not to be checking out other women with his friends. Tell someone you expect your boyfriend not to watch porn. Tell someone you aren’t having sex with your boyfriend. All of the sudden, men are just poor helpless animals again.
That attitude isn’t compatible with Christianity. Not real Christianity.
Genesis 2:18 says, ’Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.”’ My job as a girlfriend and future wife is to be a helper and a partner. If the ultimate end goal is heaven, I’m supposed to help him get there. So I should expect the things out of him that Christ expects. Sure, he’s human. I know that. He and I are always going to fail at loving each other just like we fail at loving Christ. But going into a relationship with the attitude that we aren’t perfect so to hell with all of it? That’s not fair to either of us.
So what does Christ expect?
Four things were asked of us by the early church when they decided to accept Gentiles.
1. Abstain from food sacrificed to idols
2. Abstain from blood
3. Abstain from the meat of strangled animals
4. Abstain from sexual immorality/fornication
We’re explicitly given those four requirements in the New Testament. The entire basis for our not following Kosher Law is concluded with that. As Christians, we are called to chastity. All of us- male and female. And a boy’s chastity is just as valuable as mine. His soul is just as valuable as mine. I refuse to treat him with anything less than the honor with which Christ has asked me to treat him. Because I love him.
And as for my “well, he can look but he can’t touch” folks, that isn’t what Christ expects, either. ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’ (Matthew 5:27-28)
I’ll say it again. If the ultimate end goal is heaven, I’m supposed to help him get there. Part of that job requires me to not make chastity more difficult for him. But the other part of that job is expecting chastity from him. Whole chastity- not pieces and parts. I refuse to treat him with anything less than the honor with which Christ has asked me to treat him. I refuse to treat him as anything less than made in the image of God. He is not a dog. He is not a slave to his desires. He is capable of chastity, and he is worth chastity.
How We Fail Ourselves
The other side of that double-edged sword I mentioned earlier is the side that’s poisoned by misogyny. As women, according to whatever side of the political spectrum we happen to be on, we either undervalue ourselves by deciding that we’re dogs, too, or by deciding that we’re not worth true fidelity from our partners.
I’ve addressed the dog opinion; apply it to women and it’s just as wrong. I’m going to get right into the fidelity part. When we decide that women should be moral and men shouldn’t be, there’s a certain level of infidelity that becomes permissible. Maybe it becomes permissible for him to have a “side chick” since I’m not having sex with him. Maybe it becomes permissible for him to watch porn or watch other women’s butts as they walk by. You’re worth more than any of that garbage.
Christ says that when a man looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart. Christ is literally giving you permission to tell your boyfriend/husband that you expect him not to use other women’s bodies for his own pleasure through pornography. Christ is literally giving you permission to tell your boyfriend/husband to stop checking out other women with his friends. He is saying that they are in the wrong- that they are doing something wrong. Here’s the great thing about you being made in the image of God, too: you don’t have to accept the bare minimum when it comes to love. You don’t have to accept the bare minimum when it comes to fidelity. And frankly, you shouldn’t. Expect the love you deserve and don’t accept anything less. You deserve a man who truly attempts to be faithful to you with his body, his mind, and his heart. And you are failing yourself by not requiring that.
@tremendousdetectivetheorist and a bunch of other guys gave such lovely feedback on my angst vs fluff question yesterday. So while I’m editing the next chapters for both categories, I hope you’ll enjoy this little piece of silliness and fluff I wrote a couple of months ago.
John Watson was nothing if not a creature of habit, that
much I had learned in the initial weeks of our acquaintance. He preferred
mealtimes at regular intervals, enjoyed a pipe and a brandy after a
particularly trying day and liked to engage with his writing in the evening
only. He had great respect for holidays and special occasions and took offense
if others treated them with carelessness that bordered on indifference.
East Coasters, tune into ABC right now to catch the Cast and Crew special, The Final Battle Begins!
Join our talented cast and executive producers as they identify some of
their favorite moments over the past six seasons, as well as take a look
back at their characters’ journeys. They will discuss what the show has
meant to them personally and to the millions of fans who made “Once
Upon a Time” a hit show on ABC. Additionally in this special, “Oncers”
get to ask the cast and producers their most burning questions about the
series. Take a look back at the origins, the love and romance, and all
the adventures along that way that fans have cherished these past six