once insecure

2

Whether it’s romantic, platonic, etc, I think we’ve all been there at some point.

aaahh yess I do speak French the language of love let me seduce you ma cherie *looks at Duolingo notes* le chat ne mange pas des légumes

Hannibal Lecter and food insecurity

Have you noticed that NBC’s Hannibal Lecter cooks everything in huge excess? Like, he’s literally hosting just Will and Alana for dinner, and he rolls out an entire roast pig with all the trimmings? Or it’s just him and Jack, but there’s like 10,000 calories in pricey perishables on the table?

Clearly, someone overshopped.

I don’t know if this is an intended character trait or a stylistic choice, but it hits on something that almost every emigrant to the West from USSR (and I’m sure tons of other countries around the world) can readily relate to: bone-deep food insecurity. Hannibal Lecter, who presumably made it out of USSR sometime in the late 70s-early 80s, seems to have never got over his original shock of facing a sudden over-abundance and variety of food in the West.

It sometimes takes emigrants years to un-learn instinctive food hoarding, and not everyone manages. This goes double for orphans, who tend to suffer from this compulsion even within Russia after they ‘graduate’ from the system and are able to plan their meals themselves. This behavior is especially noticeable with respect to meat, which was not sold very often in Soviet stores, and the cuts that were available were often, to put it mildly, substandard. (One popular joke went that Soviet pig farms probably slaughter their pigs with explosives, because the only things that made it to the stores were hooves.)

And let’s not forget fresh fruit. First of all, fruit was seasonal. You bought fruit in late summer and early fall, preserved it, and ate it through the winter. (In the spring everyone, especially kids, suffered from vitamin deficiencies, and this was a fact of life one just accepted.) But let’s take more exotic fruit - for instance, bananas. If bananas appeared in a Soviet grocery store, which would happen once or twice every spring in a few grocery stores of Moscow and Leningrad, each customer was limited to one or two kilos. You would literally stand in line for 3 or 4 or 5 hours to get five or ten rock-hard green bananas. And you would be over the moon with joy.

And so it’s very easy for me to imagine Lecter, even with all the privations of life in a state-run Soviet institution (a double-whammy of poor nutrition) decades behind him, *still* instinctively over-shopping for things that he never got to so much as sniff as a child: meat, fresh fruit, seafood, caviar - all the stuff he heaps on the table in such huge quantities for his friends.

Lecter might wear bespoke suits and drive a Bentley that costs more than most houses, but deep down in his bones, he’s still in ‘food crisis’ mode, terrified that all these pomegranates, caviar, and steak are only in the store through some kind of unexpected laxness or largesse on behalf of the ruling Party, and if he doesn’t buy as much as he can today, they’ll be gone from the store tomorrow, and he’ll be left with nothing.

6

#guys look #she gets him #and not just bc her emotions are off #she has always got him #from the beginning they have had an understanding #and she sees he was scared… insecure… terrified she would leave #abandon him like everyone else once she saw the real him #but she sees him #all of him #and she loves him anyways #wants him anyways #is still there anyways#not because her emotions are off #but because it doesn’t matter anymore #she doesnt care #she loves him #every elena loves him #just like he loves every elena #every part of her #every part of him #just wait and see

3

I repeated my mother’s last words as she’d walked out this same door so many years ago. I said them as angrily as I could manage, and I threw the door open. My cruel words did their job Charlie stayed frozen on the doorstep, stunned, while I ran into the night.

So, can we just talk about that gif for a moment? I’m not really good with metas, but I’m going to try my best.

What I find interesting about that shot is how Killian, the Charmings, Henry, Belle & Rumple and Elsa are positioned. We have Belle, Rumple and Elsa in the back, because they are not as ‘close’ to Emma as the others (obviously) - but Elsa is still positioned in front of Rumple, because she’s grown to be a friend of Emma’s. Then we have the Charmings, then Henry and finally Killian in the front. I think that the way they’re positioned in that shot reflects how ‘close’ they are to Emma, relationship-wise, in their current situation. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying her relationship with Killian is more important or stronger than her relationship with her son and her parents, BUT I do think that Killian is the only one who’ll be able to help her, because he can relate to her and understand her. There are a lot of parallels between 4x04, when Killian lost his control and thought his hand was cursed and Emma in 4x07 and that can’t be a coincidence.

Of course Elsa is the one who understands her best (in her situation), but Elsa and Emma haven’t known each other that long and Elsa has already enough problems on her own plate.

David and Snow have been more concerned with little Neal lately and are still really insecure about their job as parents, so it’s hard for them to find a way to get to Emma and to understand her completely. Snow has literally “failed” in that scene (and the scene before with the baby), because she hasn’t been sensitive or understanding at all. She’s been more concerned about David and Neal than Emma and that’s why she’s positioned in the middle. David is with her, because he always is and because I think even though he’s trying, he also has a hard time to understand Emma. They love her, but they can’t help being a bit afraid of and irritated by her powers.

Then there’s Henry. He seems a bit closer than the Charmings, because he still believes in her and he loves her, but he’s just too young and too unexpierenced to be really able to help her here. It’d be too much for him to handle and I think we’ll see that in the next episode.

Now let me get back to Killian. I think it’s even more obvious now why he’s positioned in the front here. He loves Emma unconditionally and he’s not scared of her whatsoever, because he’s (basically) the same. He knows what it’s like to feel like a monster, to feel unloved and like an outcast. He knows what it’s like to lose control. More than that, he’s truly concerned about her and only her. There’s no one else for him. And he would never, ever give up on her - he doesn’t even care if she hurts him, for god’s sake! That’s why I think he will be the key to everything in that story arc. He’s a threat to the Snow Queen, because he would never give up on Emma and he’s the most important person to Emma, because he’s the only one who can help her. We all know by now that Emma let her walls down for him, she let him in and she loves him back, even though she might not have realized it yet (or maybe she has; judging by the way she looked after their date; but she’s certainly not ready to admit it). Right now, he’s the closest person to Emma, physically as well as emotionally. 

Golden Queen Week: Mad World + Fairytale Gone Bad

getting over my insecurities, one day at a time

(the first time in my whole life that I’ve ever smiled with my teeth in a picture)

i honestly have so much respect for people that upload videos to tumblr/instagram/youtube etc. of them singing or playing an instrument or something becos that takes pure guts and confidence like i could never do that the thought of uploading a video of myself even talking or whatever makes me feel sick

anonymous asked:

Knockout, were you always so self confident (and gorgeous)? Or were you ever insecure once?

You should have been around for my newspark days. I was terribly insecure about my wings, flying abilities, the shade of red I sported…everything.

The obsession with maintaining my finish came after I realized I was stunning, not before.