once and future king and queen

Playing Cards Divination

If you donot have your own set of tarot/oracle cards. you can use normal playing cards instead!

How to

Use them just like oracle/tarot cards.
First charge the deck, you do this by holding them in your dominant hand and pushing your energy into them, then touch each card one by one. fan the deck out in your non-dominant hand and ask for guidance and clear readings (from who ever you want readings to be influenced by, eg: god/dess, universe, spirits) From here I like to start with a little game to make sure the cards are giving me accurate readings, pick a person you know really well, then ask the deck for a card that represents that person the best, find the meaning, and if the card is accurate you’re good to go. if not cleanse it in the moon light or under salt then try again (you can skip this step, it just lets me know my cards are accurate and it also shows me a bit of the personality of the deck) Now you are ready for your reading, you can do a simple single card draw for advise to keep in mind for the day, or a 3 card draw 1- past 2-present 3- future, there are of cause a bunch of very complicated card spreads and alot of simple once, they aren’t hard to find

Meanings

Hearts

Ace A love letter, or some other pleasant news (reversed: A visit from a friend)
King  A fair, liberal man (reversed: A meeting with disappointment)
Queen A mild, amiable woman (reversed: Possibility of having been crossed in love)
Jack A carefree bachelor who thinks only of pleasure (reversed: A discontented man, possibly connect with the military)
Ten Triumph, happiness (reversed: slight anxiety)
Nine Satisfaction, joy, success (reversed: A passing annoyance)
Eight  A fair persons affection (reversed: indifference)
Seven Pleasant thoughts, tranquility (reversed: tedium, weariness, boredom) 
Six A sea voyage, good luck (reversed: sudden change of fortune)
Five Dreams of great significance (reversed: jealousy)
Four An engagement to be wed (reversed: difficulty in choosing between two lovers 
Three Trust your instincts (reversed: danger of trouble through lack of prudence) 
Two Great success (reversed: exercise caution in business dealings) 

Diamonds (make a small mark on these cards so you can tell if they are reversed) 

Ace  A letter soon to be received (Reversed: a letter containing bad news)
King A fair man who can be cunning and dangerous (reversed: A very great threat caused by him)
Queen An ill-bred, scandal-loving woman (Reversed: she is to be feared)
Jack An unfaithful friend or employee (reversed: will cause many problems)
Ten A relocation of home of business, a journey (reversed: the change/journey is not for the better)
Nine Delay, with resultant annoyance (reversed: a quarrel with your family or lover)
Eight An attempt to make love (reversed: the attempt thwarted)
Seven Satire, mockery (reversed: a foolish scandal)
Six Unhappy ends to a marriage (reversed: loss of your possessions)
Five Children bringing joy, prosperity in business (reversed: a unexpected financial loss)
Four Trouble and aggravations (reversed: loss of a friend or a good employee) 
Three Disputes and arguments in the home or office (reversed: a law suit)
Two A love affair or close friendship developing (reversed: scandal, loss of a friend)

Clubs

Ace Joy, prosperity or god news (reversed: the joy will be of a brief duration) 
King A frank, liberal man, fond of serving him friends (reversed: he will meet with disappointment) 
Queen An affectionate, quick-witted woman (reversed: Jealousy and maliciousness) 
Jack A clever an enterprising young man (reversed: A harmless flirt and flatterer)
Ten Fortune, success and fame (reversed: need for success) 
Nine A legacy, unexpected gain (reversed: a disappointingly small gift received) 
Eight A dark persons affection. If returned they will result in great prosperity (reversed: an unwanted suitor) 
Seven A small debt repaid to you (reverse: an even smaller amount received, disappointment) 
Six  Hard work resulting in good prosperity (reversed: Hard work with little or no return)
Five Good prospects for the future, a possible wedding (reversed: Plans coming to nothing)
Four A change in fortune, impending evil (reversed: Sudden and unexpected bad luck)
Three Wealthy connections, possibly through marriage (reversed: loss of income)
Two A disappointment (reversed: opposition to your desires) 

Spades

Ace An emotional relationship that could cause trouble (reversed: unexpected bad news)  
King The envious man, an enemy or dishonest lawyer who is to be feared (reversed: impotence, malice)  
Queen A widow (reversed: a dangerous and malicious woman)
Jack A dark, ill-bred, young man (reversed: he is plotting against you)
Ten Grief, prison, restraint (reversed: brief affliction)
Nine News of a death (reversed: the death of a near relative)
Eight Approaching illness (reversed: a broken marriage engagement, and offer refused)
Seven Many annoyances (reversed: foolish intrigue)
Six Good plans and intentions meeting with failure (reversed: lack of ideas or plans) 
Five Quarreling brought about by short tempers (revered: bickering, petty annoyances)
Four Being passed over for a promotion, missed opportunities (reversed: jealousy and envy)
Three Faithlessness in love, bitter (reversed: news of indiscretions) 
Two Separation, change (reversed: unwanted and unexpected change)

Goddess of the Underworld (Part 1)

Summary: Greek mythology!AU. James Barnes is the most feared man of the world. Mortals know him as Hades, God of the Underworld. You are a goddess yourself mortals call Persephone but you’re still scared of James. When Zeus and Demeter betroth you to Hades, you are furious. But you also can’t deny you’re drawn to the dark, attractive god. Maybe he’s not what he seems. What better person than you to look behind his facade, his wife.

A/N: Hey loves! I tagged everyone who voted for this story. Let me know if you want to be untagged and of course if you want to be put on the taglist. Also this first chapter is to introduce the twelve Olympian Gods, so you have an idea which of the Avengers is supposed to be which god of the Greek mythology. xoxo Debbie ♥

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes (Hades) x Reader (Persephone)

Warnings: None so far

Word Count: 1081

★☆★ MASTERLIST ★☆★

Part 1          Part 2 •••► coming soon! 


Gold. Gold and white polished marble was all around me. Today was my first time on Mount Olympus. I had a feeling about the home of the twelve most powerful gods would be pretentious, but this even outweighed my imagination. The great hall, where the councils were held, was enormous.

In the middle of the half circle stood the biggest and most pompous marble throne. Right next to the throne from our king of the gods, Zeus, was the one for his wife Hera. On each side of those two thrones were five smaller ones for the remaining gods. All of the twelve Olympians were currently sitting on their own rightful white polished marble throne.

The roof of the great hall was pillared, decorated with the symbols of the gods hewn in the white stone. The giant columns were embraced by hundreds of sky blue and golden flowers, making the whole hall shine heavenly and tempting. Floating in the air were thousands of lights in bulb shape, illuminating the hall, and casting slight shadows on each of our faces.

I was standing beside my mother, Maria, formally known as Demeter, who was talking quite animatedly with Athena beside her. I knew Athena all my life, which gave me the privilege to address her as Sharon. Due to respect we all spoke to one another with our godly titles and even more so at official congregations.

Like anticipated we were waiting for Zeus and Hera, our king and queen to appear for the meeting to begin. So far I still had no clue why I should attend this gathering in the first place. Some of the gods, like the twins Artemis and Apollo almost looked apologetically in my direction more than once. Others like Ares, Hermes and Dionysos sent me suggestive winks from time to time. Arrogant idiots!

I heard of their escapades, more times than I could count, and I clearly had no intention of being part of a single one. Not now, not in the future. My gaze wandered to Aphrodite and Hephaestus who had only eyes for the other. I was wondering if that was because of them being newly-weds or the fact Natasha was the goddess of love.

They were obviously happy in love and I caught myself wishing for someone to look at me with the same amount of devotion as Bruce looked at Natasha. My thoughts were interrupted when Tony and Pepper at last decided to show up. My father sent me an unnoticed smile before greeting everyone. Normally my father would hold a long speech and the fact he got straight to the point made me kind of nervous.

The more when he also sent me side glances over and over again. “The reason I asked you all to come, can simply be said with a single word. Hades.” To say my curiosity was awoken would be an understatement. I knew not much of Hades, brooding and dusky god of the dead and king of the underworld. On very rare occasions he would be invited on Mount Olympus, but his empire was the underworld and not the world above.

Only on very rare occasions Hades itself would show up on Mount Olympus, to take part at the meetings. The more I was paying attention to the next words my father spoke.

“We all know it’s nothing special or uncommon my dear brother stays secluded in the underworld. But now some worrying news got to me and my brother Poseidon’s attention.” Tony nodded at Steve, my uncle and god of the seas, who took it upon himself to continue.

“I spare you all the details, but the underworld is slowly falling apart. Hades lives more reclusive than ever. He ignores his duties of ruling the underworld and taking care of the souls. We came to the conclusion what Hades needs is a companion, someone who wakens his interest, helps him rule his empire and brings him back to live his life as the king he is. It is super important to make sure the balance of the worlds is ensured. We quickly came to the only solution. Hades has to get married.”

After this statement everyone started to speak loudly with his neighbor. The god of war, Thor, formally known as Ares was the loudest to be heard, with his loud booming voice.

“Who possibly would want to marry Hades willingly?” He said mocking. Zeus once again rise to speak. “Luckily we already found the perfect woman to become his wife. There couldn’t be someone more fitting. I’m proud to announce my lovely daughter Persephone will be marrying Hades.”

No way! I was shocked, unable to form words or even process what just happened. I could feel all eyes in the hall on me. I took a deep breath, to wake up from my surprised state.

“Are you kidding me right now?! No way I’m becoming the wife of Hades! Let alone my uncle!” I gritted out through my teeth, anger clearly evident in my hysteric voice.

“You know my brothers and I were created not made. You’re not blood related. It’s already decided. You will go right after this meeting. But you can’t let Hades know about our decision, he can never know about our arrangement. If he knew he would be grievously hurt in his pride. It has to be his free will to marry you. You need to make him fall in love with you. You understand?”

“But …” At my attempt to reason with my father his commanding voice, like I called it, came out.

“[Y/N]! I am your father! And I am your king! You will do as I say! When the meeting is over you will go to the underworld, you will make Hades fall in love with you and you will become his wife! End of the story!” He took a small dramatic pause.

“Do you even have an idea how important it is to remain the balance?! You are the most logical choice. As goddess of spring who breathes life into dead flowers and creates light, you’re ideal to bring some stability in the underworld. There can be no life without death and no death without life.”

I knew that what my father wants, my father gets. There would be absolutely no way I could change his mind now. Slowly but surely I had to get used to my new duty to protect the equilibrium of the worlds. I inevitably would have to make Hades fall in love with me.


★☆★ MASTERLIST ★☆★

PART 2 •••► coming soon!


Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged. Love y’all! ♥

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@gondorgirl01 @belleetlabeast @singeramg @red-writer13@queendivaofthedark @langinator @melconnor2007

GODDESS OF THE UNDERWORLD TAGLIST:

@this-kitty-has-claws @persephone-is-here-omg @swimmer10steelers @jurassicbarnes @justreadingfics @sophs-the-name @bolontiku @ryverpenrad @mo320 @funnybunnygirl161 @finallybreathee @buckyslion @arnydunne @cumonbucky @julianakumiko @magellan-88 @laughsandlivia @sexylibrarian1 @hellomissmabel @amrita31199 @soldatbarnes @promarvelfangirl @donner5822 @the-never-ending-naps @mariathedorkydragon @rmwc2009 @dustycelt @brain-damage-eclipse @hillrich @jenn0755 @03erin03 @cleogabyabby @mytasterpeculiar
“Coronation” Part Three

Summary: She was the Queen of Sokovia, and he was the future king of Romania. Their relationship was full of hate towards one another, but will it change when his heart gets broken by a traitor to both of your powerful countries?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: angst 

Word Count: 917

A/N: more and more angst. The taglist for this series might be closing soon, but my permanent is still open. (this gif made me laugh)

Coronation Masterlist


Originally posted by gurulahima

Everyone waited in the throne room for James’ announcement. Rebecca’s last comment had left Y/N uneasy. She wasn’t prepared for the proposal to come.

“Where is this boy, Winnie? He said ten minutes. He must learn punctuality if he is to take the throne!” George exclaimed through multiple harsh breathes.

Just as the King was to rant again, James walked through the doors, alone.

“Sorry for the wait. I had to see Natasha off. She is going on one of her trips again.” James rushed out,

“but, I brought you all here for a reason. I believe I have found a different way for the war to end with Russia.”

Y/N’s eyes widened at the proposal. Russia had been after both of their countries for years, and now they want peace?

“Son, what makes you believe this war can end. It has been going on for years. Nothing in this world will ever get Russia to stop.” King George was exasperated by this point.

“Just hear me out, okay?” James asked quietly.

The King and Queen nodded their approval. Y/N was intrigued at what he had to say.

With a deep breathe, James rushed out the sentence,

“We give them Sokovia.”


 White hot rage consumed Y/N. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand swung out and connected with the side of James’s face. A deafening slap echoed throughout the throne room. Guards came rushing in from every angle.

“Do not put your hands on me! I am a Queen! Leave us at once!” Y/N screamed at the guards who were trying to drag her out.

They backed up and her loud words and exited the room. She saw the King and Queen had their mouths ajar and Rebecca had a hand over her agape mouth. Y/N bent down to James level.

“If you ever discuss the future of my country again, there will be serious consequences, James. Never bring that up again. I will never surrender my throne to the Russians. Sokovia is mine, and will always be mine. Get that through your head James.” Y/N took one last look before addressing Rebecca.

“Would you like to teach me how to paint now?”


 “It was the bitch’s idea, wasn’t it!” Y/N screamed at her canvas.

“It had to be! Her last name is Russian! ‘Romanova!’ What is she even doing here!” Y/N continued to scream.

“Y/N- “Rebecca started.

“I just want her to go! She is debating the future of MY country and she is not even a royal!” Y/N interrupted.

Rebecca had been listening to Y/N shout for almost an hour now. Her canvas was full of harsh lines and dark hues. It reflected her mood. Their session was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Queen Y/L/N, the Romanian rulers are asking to speak to you.” A servant boy named Sam told her.

“Thank you, Sam. I’ll be right there.” Y/N slowly rose from her seat and made it to the door.

She was not looking forward to this conversation.


 Y/N made her way to the throne room. With a deep breath, she pushed back open the gigantic double doors. She was met with the King and Queen sitting in their respective thrones. James was standing next to his father. She felt pride that there was still an outline of her hand on his cheek.

“You wanted to see me.” Y/N said with an edge in her voice.

The King took a deep breath, “We wanted to discuss what had occurred earlier. We understand that you were angry at James for his proposal, and he had no right auctioning off your country.”

Before he could get another word in, Y/N interrupted, “Did he even tell you who’s idea it was. It wasn’t his that’s for sure. It was Natasha`s. Rebecca overheard her last night trying to convince James to agree. Tell me James, how did she get you to agree? Did she give you a blowjob? Handjob? What was it? She left because she knew if she was the one to tell me, I would’ve had her executed for suggesting such an idea.”

James was furious at her words. She could almost see the steam coming from his ears.

“She shouldn’t even be here. She isn’t even a royal. Please tell me why she is allowed at meals and how you could allow your son, who is engaged to me, to date that whore.” Y/N continued.

The King and Queen were surprised at her words.

“Queen Y/N, she is the daughter of one of our best supporters. He adopted her. His name is Nick Fury. He had been good friends with this family for years. She is allowed at dinners and she is allowed to be with James to continue to keep him in our good graces. You must understand, he is a lord of this country. He is a powerful man. He could take us all down if he wanted.” Queen Winifred quietly told her.

“So, I’m gathering, you would rather be in the good graces of one man, than a whole country?” Y/N asked.

“It’s more complicated than that. Please you have to understand what he means to us and our rule.” George tried.

“Tell me, where did this Nick adopt her from?” Y/N asked.

There was a silence in the room. No one seemed to want to answer.

“Tell me!” She tried once again.

“Russia! She’s from Russia!” James yelled, equally as loud.

The wind was knocked out of her.


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(Bold tags dont work)

Dwarvish Council

Pairing: Thranduil x wife / Thranduil x reader 

Summary: You join your husband to see King Thror, as he wants you to read the mind of the dwarf. You get a little more than you bargained for.

Originally posted by farishkam

The woodland realm had begun to fall into darkness. Creatures of evil had begun residing in the woods, but the elves withheld their kingdom. Dwarves had moved into Erebor, taking with them their arrogance and dangerously greedy ways.

The elven king had decided to pay a visit to King Thror the second, his elven queen not far behind him. They brought with them a small group of guards, all dressed in the lavish elven amour.

You were to stay silent during the encounter. there to only observe, to listen to words which would go unspoken. They strode along the thin paths which stood over empty stone, and approached the dwarven king. He sat atop his throne, with his grandson standing below him.

Keep reading

Kay, instead of flying into his usual passion, hung his head. He was not at all an unpleasant person really, but clever, quick, proud, passionate and ambitious. He was one of those people who would be neither a follower nor a leader, but only an aspiring heart, impatient in the failing body which imprisoned it.
—  T.H. White, The Once and Future King
arthurian music

A list of arthurian music! Please add anything that I might have forgotten!

The Arthurian albums list

Age of Avalon (Arthurian Shield)
Arthur the King (Maddy Prior)
Avalon - A Celtic Legend (Enaid)
The Book of Taliesin (Deep Purple)
Camelot in Smithereens (Deliverance)
Celtic Heart: The Story of Tristan and Iseult (Simon Cooper)
Dreams of Avalon (Mike Simmons)
Excalibur (Grave Digger)
The Final Experiment (Ayreon)
Galahad’s Suite (Anton Johansson)
Graal (Catherine Lara)
The Green Knight (Heather Dale)
High Noon Over Camelot (The Mechanisms)
Land of Merlin (Jon Mark)
May the Blood of Many a Valiant Knight Be Avenged (The Soil Bleeds Black)
May Queen (Heather Dale)
The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table (Rick Wakeman)
The Trial of Lancelot (Heather Dale)
The Once and Future King I (Gary Hughes, and different artists for each character)
The Once and Future King II (Gary Hughes and different artists)
Queen of Camelot (Karliene)
Queens of Camelot (Heather Dale & S. J. Tucker)

The Arthurian Songs list

All King’s Horses (Blind Guardian)
Am Bròn Binn (Dòchas)
Arthur (The Kinks)
Avalon (Professor Green)
Avalon (Blackmore’s Night)
Bright Eyes (Blind Guardian) suggested by anon
Excalibur (Blaspheme)
Fata Morgana (Fates Warning)
Galahad (Josh Ritter)
Guinevere (Crosby, Stills, and Nash)
Grails Mysteries (Amorphis)
Haunted Shores (Cradle of Filth)
If I Die Young (The Band Perry)
King Arthur’s servants (The Waterson)
Knights of the Round Table (Commander)
The Lady of Shalott (Loreena McKennit)
The Maiden and the Ministrel Knight (Blind Guardian) suggested by anon
Merlin (Kayak)
Merlin am I (Dahm the Bard) suggested by @effulgentpoet
Mordred’s Song (Blind Guardian)
Morgan le Fay (Heate) suggested by @queen-le-fay
Morte d'Arthur (Miriam Stockley)
A Past and Future Secret (Blind Guardian)
Pour l’amour de la Reine (Tri Yann) suggested by @argillia
Return of the King (Bruce Dickinson)
Shadow of Uther (Kamelot)
Shalott (Emilie Autumn)
Shores of Avalon (Tina Malia)
Sir Galahad (Susan Court)
Sweet Sir Galahad (Joan Baez)
Sword in the Stone (Benji Cossa)

(I did not add movies’ sountracks albums or musicals)

Once upon a time, a king and a queen forgot to invite a powerful fairy to the christening of their child. It was a terrible mistake. The child grew into a remarkable young royal, a perfect candidate to become the future monarch. At their side through it all was a faithful guard, one of their peers, who from a young age had been trained and taught to keep watch over them, to protect them and keep them safe.

Yet on the child’s eighteenth birthday, they fell victim to the curse the fairy had placed on them all those years ago, collapsing into a deep sleep. Their guard had been outside the walls when it happened, however, and was separated from them by a wall of tangling thorns and roses. Horror set in, but the guard was determined. They sought out the royal to which their charge had been engaged, and brought them back, hacking a path through the brush to the tower where the royal lay.

The fiancé, upon approaching the sleeping royal carefully leaned down and kissed them, yet nothing happened, and so they turned and started to leave. The guard, disappointed, pressed a small kiss to the royal’s forehead, promising them that they would bring all the princes and princesses of the world to see if any would wake the sleeping royal up.

But then the royal’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and they found themselves looking at their one true love - the guard.

At Midnight, My Queen

Servant Bucky x Queen Reader

Summary: a tiny short story about how a Queen manages to break free from tyranny, with the help of her beloved, loyal servant. 

Warnings: mentions of starving oneself, beatings/abuse and murder. This is one of the hopefully many short stories I’ll write to overcome my writers block. Here’s to hoping! 

A farce. A deception of immense proportions. A communal lie to satisfy and appeal; that is what this marriage is.

The tale that was spun to force its truth, young lovers, together since birth, inseparable; it’s all a lie.

The truth is, the Queen of a small, yet powerful, nation, is confined in a marriage she never wished for. Her husband, the King of course, is a tyrant. Doing nothing more but bullying his way into her bed, into her personal matters, into her life. He once said: ‘A wife should have no secrets for her husband’. What he truly meant was: ‘a slave has no right to keep secrets from her master’.

In this strange country, where the King has so much more power than the Queen ever will, there is only one who is undeniably and indefinitely on the Queen’s side.

Keep reading

6

Happy 70th marriage anniversary to HM The Queen and HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh!

Elizabeth met her future husband, Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, in 1934 and 1937. They are second cousins once removed through King Christian IX of Denmark and third cousins through Queen Victoria. After another meeting at the Royal Naval College in Dartmouth in July 1939, Elizabeth – though only 13 years old – said she fell in love with Philip and they began to exchange letters. She was 21 when their engagement was officially announced on 9 July 1947.

Before the marriage, Philip renounced his Greek and Danish titles, officially converted from Greek Orthodoxy to Anglicanism, and adopted the style Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, taking the surname of his mother’s British family. Just before the wedding, he was created Duke of Edinburgh and granted the style His Royal Highness

Elizabeth and Philip were married on 20 November 1947 at Westminster Abbey. Princess Elizabeth was attended by eight bridesmaids: HRH The Princess Margaret (her younger sister), HRH Princess Alexandra of Kent(her first cousin), Lady Caroline Montagu-Douglas-Scott (daughter of the Duke of Buccleuch), Lady Mary Cambridge (her second cousin), Lady Elizabeth Lambart (daughter of the Earl of Cavan), The Hon. Pamela Mountbatten (Philip’s first cousin), The Hon. Margaret Elphinstone(her first cousin) and Diana Bowes-Lyon (her first cousin).Her cousins Prince William of Gloucester and Prince Michael of Kent served as page boys.

The wedding was a grand affiar, with royalty from all over the world attending. ANd now, 70 years later, we can only wish congratulations to the couple. They have 4 children, 8 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren.

“Coronation” Part Eighteen

Summary:  She was the Queen of Sokovia, and he was the future king of Romania. Their relationship was full of hate towards one another, but will it change when his heart gets broken by a traitor to both of your powerful countries?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst 

Word Count: 1017

A/N: One more part after this! There will not be an epilogue. You can start sending in requests because they will be opened once i finish!  

Coronations Series


Fishing was so much fun. Y/N had never experienced something as mundane as fishing. She was surprised at how relaxed and peaceful she felt. Having Bucky by her side made it that much better. She shared details on their upcoming wedding and just felt relaxed for the first time in her life.

They threw back all the fish that were caught. They weren’t fish for eating, but it was still fun to catch something. It was almost dusk before they finally started to pack up. Bucky knew it was something she needed. She needed a way to forget everything that had gone on, and he was happy he could provide that.

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HRH Prince William: BY ALASTAIR CAMPBELL

For years, Prince William found himself in a state of shock, unable to deal with the tragic death of his mother Princess Diana. As the nation wept that summer in 1997, in private William couldn’t allow himself to grieve. Quite simply, aged 15, he locked his emotions away, burying them beneath routine and a most dutiful, demanding public life. Until now. Recently, William has started talking about his loss, opening up and admitting his struggle and its effects - now he is passionately calling for all men to follow his example through his mental health campaign, Heads Together. In what is undoubtedly the most candid interview he has ever given, the 34-year-old future King talks exclusively to GQ about his mother’s death, his relationship with the media, his work, his family and how he is determined to lead by example. Oh, that my mother was alive to see me now, walking into Kensington Palace on a sunny spring day, to take tea with the future King William. Born in the same year as the Queen, 1926, and given the same Christian name, Elizabeth, my mother “Betty” was a fervent monarchist; indeed one of my earliest political memories is of the row provoked when, about half a century ago, I refused to listen to the Queen’s Christmas Day message. She and I also used to argue about Prince William’s parents as the disintegration of their marriage provoked a bitter propaganda war between them and their supporters. Once I got to know Princess Diana, in a series of extraordinary meetings (see my diaries, volume one) before Labour won power in 1997, despite the nasty columns I used to write about her as a journalist, I became something of a fan. I was smitten indeed, and so took her side in the Charles-Diana rows taking place in homes up and down the country. My mother was more for Charles, seeing as how he was going to be the next king. It is not a conversion from republicanism that has sparked this meeting with the Prince - though “President Trump” would challenge anyone’s faith in an elected head of state - but a common cause, namely the desire to eradicate the stigma and taboo surrounding mental illness. Prince William, his wife Catherine and his brother Harry, have chosen mental health as their main cause, and their Heads Together campaign has been successfully promoting the importance of being as open about our mental health as we are about our physical health. When they started off down this path, the republican in me was annoyed they could get so much traction for anything they did; but the Time To Change mental health campaigner was overjoyed. They have overseen the making of a series of short films showing the importance of talking about mental health problems rather than bottling them up. To my surprise, I was asked to take part in a film, talking with my partner Fiona about how my mental health troubles impact on us. Then, even more surprisingly, given how few extended interviews he gives, he agreed to be interviewed for GQ. I had met him a few times, on the British and Irish Lions rugby tour of New Zealand in 2005, for example, and more recently at a dinner where I asked him whether he would follow the lead of his grandmother when he became king, by never giving an interview as monarch. Here, I was keen to test two things in particular. One was whether his commitment to this cause was real and whether he had a proper understanding of the issues. You can make up your own mind on that, but after an hour and a half at the palace, mine was made up in his favour. Secondly, I wanted to see how close to the public persona the more private man in his own habitat might be. Would he speak with the same stilted style that seems to characterise his public speaking? He didn’t. Would he have a sense of humour? He did. Would he stand on ceremony? He didn’t. Was there any real passion behind the shy exterior? There was. Indeed, were she still here, I would have called my mum and told her, “Good news - I liked him.”

What son doesn’t miss his mother when she’s gone? As you shall see, almost 20 years on from that car crash in Paris, Prince William clearly misses Princess Diana intensely, saying it is only now he feels able properly to talk about her death, the extraordinary week that followed it, and the enormous impact it had on him and his brother. He doesn’t believe she had mental health problems, and nor does he think that he does. But the trauma he suffered losing her so young, and in such awful circumstances, partly explains why he is determined to get the nation talking more about our emotions, not least because, in life and death, his mother changed the way we express them.

AC: So what’s a nice future king like you doing with an old leftie republican like me?

PW: That’s a very good question Alastair [laughs]. To be honest, I really don’t care where people come from, I like meeting and talking to people from all backgrounds. And this is a good opportunity to talk about something that is very close to your heart, and very close to mine.

AC: And why is mental health so close to yours?

PW: Practically everything in my charitable life, in the end, is to do with mental health, whether it be homelessness, veterans’ welfare, my wife and the work she is doing on addiction; so much of what we do comes back to mental health. Also, if I think about my current job as a helicopter pilot with the air ambulance service in East Anglia, my first job there was a suicide and it really affected me. I have been to a number of suicides, self harms, overdoses.

AC: In what way did it affect you?

PW: Not just the person who lost their life, but the people they leave behind. One of the stats I was given was that, just in the area we cover in the east of England - my base is in Cambridge - there are five attempted suicides every day. Yet suicide is still not talked about. So people have the pain of loss, but also the stigma and taboo means they are sometimes ashamed even to talk about how a lover, a partner, a brother, a sister, a best friend, how they died. That stat - five attempted suicides in the East Anglia region alone - it blew my mind, I thought, “Oh my God, this is such a big issue.”

AC: I am a patron of the Maytree suicide sanctuary in north London, and you and your wife made a private visit there. What impact did that have?

PW: The thing that made an impression on me, it wasn’t just the feelings of the people, the pain they were going through and the care for them, it was that this is the only place of its kind in the UK. It may be the only one in the whole of Europe, and I thought, this is terrifying, it really is, there should be more places like this, where people can go when they’re desperate. I have spoken to suicide groups and having been through personal grief myself, I had an inkling of what to expect, but it was all so raw. When someone does end their own life, [there are] so many questions, people feeling guilty, why didn’t we see it, why didn’t we do more, and all surrounded by this massive taboo. I found it eye opening, so revealing as to what goes on in people’s minds.

AC: When you land in your air ambulance and you get out, what on earth do they say when they see you?

PW: We are only likely to be there if people are in deep trauma or unconscious.

AC: But the other people there?

PW: We are often the first on the scene. Also, I do hang back a little. We land, we secure the scene, I will be sorting the comms for the next flight, and then I might be running around helping with equipment and so on.

AC: Nobody ever has to explain, say, “Sorry, don’t worry about him”?

PW: Most people seem to guess, but I do keep as far back as I can and let the team do what they have to do. I maybe carry the stretcher, carry the kit, sort the comms for the next leg. It is all very fast paced.

AC: Why do the three of you work together on Heads Together?

PW: It is a bit of an experiment really. The Royal Family has not normally done this, three members of the family pulling together to focus on one thing. Normally things are quite disjointed, we follow our own interests and see where it goes, but we thought, well, if we tied it together and had a focused approach, how would that work? We wanted to see the impact we could have.

AC: You must get bombarded with approaches and requests? How do you decide what causes and events to support? Do you try to be strategic about it?

PW: Focused rather than strategic, I would say. When I settle on something, I want to dig deep, I want to understand what I am involved in, I want to understand the complexities of all the issues and, above all, I want to make an impact.

AC: Do you not get frustrated, though? Of course, there are advantages to your position but there are limitations too, because you cannot stray into politics. So you can’t do what I do and bang the drum for more resources and more action from government. Is that not really frustrating?

PW: It can be frustrating at times. I watch the political world, I am interested in it, at times I feel there are things going on I could really help with, but you have to understand where you sit and what the limits are; and with regard to what we do in our charity work, I like to think you can do just as much good but in a different direction.

AC: It’s great you guys are getting involved in mental health. Generally, my worry, though, is there is a danger that making improvements on stigma and taboos is seen as a substitute for services, not an accompaniment. Presumably you saying something like that goes beyond acceptable limits?

PW: No, not at all. I can say that. If I attack government policy, no, I can’t, but I can certainly make that kind of point. What we can do is convene, bring people together, organise private meetings, get experts in one room who might otherwise not always meet, they tend not to refuse an invitation, and we can thrash things out.

AC: Is it very much Harry on veterans, Kate on addiction and young women, you on men in general?

PW: A little bit. Harry has the Invictus Games and focuses a lot on veterans. But we are not stuck in our boxes. We are all three of us trying to understand the tentacles of mental health, which go everywhere. I do think if you are focused about general aims you can have a much greater impact. So we do try to stay focused, not splurge around.

AC: Are you in the mental health space for the long haul?

PW: Medium to long term, definitely. What we would love to do is smash the taboo. Getting the London Marathon as the mental health marathon, that was a big thing, and I hope we are reaching a tipping point. But it is a bit like wading through treacle. It is tough. We are now looking at a legacy programme. We are not going to rush, and the mental health sector has to believe in what we might propose, so we are getting expert opinion and then we will pick and choose and decide what we do.

AC: Why don’t you do the London Marathon yourself?

PW: I would love to, but from the policing point of view, they tested it and they were like, “What?” I am keen to do a marathon but it won’t be London.

AC: What about getting a treadmill in here and doing it while everyone else is pounding the streets?

PW: It would be so boring.

AC: Be great television.

PW: I think I would have mental health issues if I was just staring at that wall. I do want to do it though - and the training. In the military we did plenty of similar things to marathons, like yomping over the Brecon Beacons with a ton of kit on your back. I am just pleased we got London as the mental health marathon.

AC: Do you have specific goals and outcomes for the campaign?

PW: Smashing the taboo is our biggest aim. We can’t go anywhere much until that’s done. People can’t access services till they feel less ashamed, so we must tackle the taboo, the stigma, for goodness sake, this is the 21st century. I’ve been really shocked how many people live in fear and in silence because of mental illness. I just don’t understand it. I know I come across as quite reserved and shy, I don’t always have my emotions brewing, but behind closed doors I think about the issues, I get very passionate about things. I rely on people around me for opinions, and I am a great believer in communication on these issues. I cannot understand how families, even behind closed doors, still find it so hard to talk about it. I am shocked we are so worried about saying anything about the true feelings we have. Because mental illness is inside our heads, invisible, it means others tread so carefully, and people don’t know what to say, whereas if you have a broken leg in plaster, everyone knows what to say.

AC: This is my vested interest speaking here, but what with the marathon and the other things, do you think you might stay in this mental health space for good?

PW: We want to see what impact we can have.

AC: You are making an impact now.

PW: I feel we’re going in the right direction, but not making as much impact as we would like. You know what it is like, you want to get there, grapple with all the issues, get there quickly, make the change that is needed.

AC: But in your position, can you do that?

PW: You can, but you have to do it carefully. Maybe we do make change but the way we do it is slower. We get the benefits of more publicity for the things we do.

AC: I do remember when your father’s letters used to come into Number Ten. Will you go down that route, with his very frank letters to ministers?

PW: [Laughs.] Could you read them?

AC: It wasn’t the handwriting that was the problem.

PW: I have written to ministers but purely to point them towards people I think they should see. So a charity might ask me if I can help with someone and I can help get them access to the people in government.

AC: So you don’t lobby but you introduce?

PW: There are issues I am interested in and I am happy to connect people to ministers.

AC: But you’re perhaps not as robust as your father?

PW: My father has always come at this from a depth of knowledge and a desire to help. He only gets involved in anything when he has those two things: knowledge matched to a desire to help. He genuinely cares. We can argue till the cows come home about whether what he says is right or wrong, but he lives this stuff every day, goes into minute detail, wants to help inform opinion and provide knowledge. I would love to know what the public really think, whether they feel shocked or pleased he gets involved. He has done this for a long, long time, and I think he has used his role really well to raise a lot of questions that people need to ask.

AC: So what might this mental health legacy be?

PW: One idea is getting mental health first aiders in schools. Teachers are under such pressure, they face so many challenges every day. They cannot be expected to be mental health counsellors as well, so we thought there must be a way of having mental health first aiders who can be attached to one or two schools.

AC: Is that something you would promote or fund?

PW: That is what we need to work out. It is a bit of a challenge, but we have a whole range of ideas we are looking at.

AC: Now, tell me about the idea of the films - and thank you for asking me to do one.

PW: Thank for you doing it. I watched it this morning.

AC: What was the purpose of them?

PW: This was predominantly about the importance of the conversation. The point we wanted to get over was that, often, talking is the best thing you can do - it can start the whole process of recovery. For a lot of people things brew up, particularly men maybe, they don’t want to talk about problems.

AC: When you were growing up, when you were still at school, did you feel you were surrounded by people who couldn’t talk about feelings?

PW: Yes, I think so, but I do think a generational shift has gone on. If I look at my parents’ generation, there was a lot more stiff upper lip going on. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for the stiff upper lip, and, for those of us in public life, times when you have to maintain it, but behind closed doors, in normal everyday life, we have to be more open and upfront with our feelings and emotions. Mental health in the workplace is a huge issue, and a sensitive area, and leadership is important here. When you see people in high-powered jobs in the City and big corporations who got there despite their mental health problems, that is a huge success story and it shouldn’t be seen as anything else.

AC: Or maybe people get there because of their mental health problems too.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: I feel I owe mine quite a lot.

PW: Absolutely, but what is really important here is that we are normalising mental health, so if a CEO comes out and says, “I went through this, I got through these dark times,” that is amazing, it normalises, it has an impact then in that organisation and beyond. But without that kind of thing, people tend to make excuses, avoid talking about issues that may be affecting them, pretend everything is fine.

AC: So as an employer, if one of your staff came and saw you and said, “I am really struggling,” do you think you would deal with that properly?

PW: Definitely. I am not pretending I am an amazing counsellor, or a specialist, I’m not, but I would take it seriously and if they needed help I would find it for them.

AC: Now, on the stiff upper lip, I can see why there may be a place for that. But listen… my mother died when I was 56, she had a full life, died quickly, relatively painlessly, but it was very upsetting. I am not sure I could have walked behind her coffin with millions of people around the world looking at me, without crying.

PW: No.

AC: So how hard was that?

PW: It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But if I had been in floods of tears the entire way round how would that have looked?

AC: How can you not be in floods of tears if you feel like being in floods of tears?

PW: In the situation I was in, it was self-preservation. I didn’t feel comfortable anyway, having that massive outpouring of emotion around me. I am a very private person, and it was not easy. There was a lot of noise, a lot of crying, a lot of wailing, people were throwing stuff, people were fainting.

AC: As you were walking?

PW: Yes. It was a very unusual experience. It was something I don’t think anyone could have predicted. Looking back, the outpouring of grief and emotion was very touching but it was very odd to be in that situation.

AC: When you were up at Balmoral through the week, were you conscious of how big it all was down here in London?

PW: No, not at all. All I cared about was that I had lost my mum.

AC: So you were protected from everything happening on the Mall?

PW: Yes. I was 15, Harry almost 13, and the overwhelming thing was we had lost our mother.

AC: So when you came back, and you saw how big the reaction was?

PW: I didn’t take it in. I still didn’t realise what was going on, really.

AC: Did you grieve?

PW: That is a very good question. [Pause.] Probably not properly. I was in a state of shock for many years.

AC: Years?

PW: Yes, absolutely. People might find that weird, or think of shock as something that is there, it hits you, then in an hour or two, maybe a day or two, you are over it. Not when it is this big a deal; when you lose something so significant in your life, so central, I think the shock lasts for many years.

AC: My favourite soundbite of the Blair era was not from him, but your grandmother after 9/11, when she said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

PW: Yes, absolutely.

AC: But for you to say you felt you were in shock for years - how much harder is it when you are having to grieve or try to grieve with this extraordinary level of global scrutiny, and the endless ridiculous fascination in every detail of your and your mother’s lives.

PW: It does make it more difficult. It doesn’t make you less human. You’re the same person, it is a part of the job to have the interest. The thing is, you can’t bring all your baggage everywhere you go. You have to project the strength of the United Kingdom - that sounds ridiculous, but we have to do that. You can’t just be carrying baggage and throwing it out there and putting it on display everywhere you go. My mother did put herself right out there and that is why people were so touched by her. But I am determined to protect myself and the children, and that means preserving something for ourselves. I think I have a more developed sense of self-preservation.

AC: Yet the Heads Together campaign is all about saying we should talk, be more open about our emotions, out with the stiff upper lip, in with more talking.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: So is it different for you?

PW: Well, I am in the role I am in. But if I had mental health issues I would happily talk about them. I think the closest I got was the trauma I suffered when I lost my mother, the scale of the grief, and I still haven’t necessarily dealt with that grief as well as I could have done over the years.

AC: Who do you talk to?

PW: Family, friends, I talk to those around me who I trust.

AC: But it can’t be easy in your position to find people you can trust totally.

PW: It is hard. But I have always believed in being very open and honest. One of the few strengths I might have is I am good at reading people, and I can usually tell if someone is just being nice because of who I am, and saying stuff for the wrong reasons.

AC: Have you ever talked to people other than friends and family about your feelings?

PW: No I have not talked to a specialist or anyone clinical, but I have friends who are good listeners, and, on grief, I find talking about my mother and keeping her memory alive very important. I find it therapeutic to talk about her, and to talk about how I feel.

AC: So we are coming up to the 20th anniversary of her death. Are you looking forward to that? Or are you dreading it?

PW: I am not looking forward to it, no, but I am in a better place about it than I have been for a long time, where I can talk about her more openly, talk about her more honestly, and I can remember her better, and publicly talk about her better. It has taken me almost 20 years to get to that stage. I still find it difficult now because at the time it was so raw. And also it is not like most people’s grief, because everyone else knows about it, everyone knows the story, everyone knows her. It is a different situation for most people who lose someone they love, it can be hidden away or they can choose if they want to share their story. I don’t have that choice really. Everyone has seen it all.

AC: The first time I met your mother, in 1994, she said, “Why did you write those horrible things about me when you were a journalist?” I said, “My God, I can’t believe you read that stuff.” But she did. I was shocked that she had read it and also remembered it, it was years earlier. It made me think at the time that some people reach a certain level of fame at which media and public cease to see them as human beings. Do you think that is what happened to her, and do you think it has ever happened to you?

PW: Not with me, no. I think with her it was a unique case. The media issue with my mother was probably the worst any public figure has had to deal with.

AC: What? The intrusion, the harassment?

PW: Yes, but more the complete salacious appetite for anything, anything at all about her, even if there was no truth in it, none whatsoever.

AC: So you don’t have any sympathy with the argument that she cultivated her own friends in the media and fed the whole thing?

PW: I have been exploring this. Remember, I was young at the time. I didn’t know what was going on. I know some games and shenanigans were played, but she was isolated, she was lonely, things within her own life got very difficult and she found it very hard to get her side of the story across. I think she was possibly a bit naive and ended up playing into the hands of some very bad people.

AC: Media people?

PW: Yes. This was a young woman with a high profile position, very vulnerable, desperate to protect herself and her children and I feel strongly there was no responsibility taken by media executives who should have stepped in, and said, “Morally, what we are doing, is this right, is this fair, is this moral?” Harry and I were so young and I think if she had lived, when we were older we would have played that role, and I feel very sad and I still feel very angry that we were not old enough to be able to do more to protect her, not wise enough to step in and do something that could have made things better for her. I hold a lot of people to account that they did not do what they should have done, out of human decency.

AC: Were you not tempted to give evidence to the Leveson Inquiry?

PW: We discussed it, but decided in the end not to. Remember, we were the first to expose the phone hacking.

AC: You seem to get a hard time from one or two papers these days. Do you think there is a bit of score-settling going on?

PW: I don’t know.

AC: Do you get followed and chased by paps on bikes?

PW: Not often. But there is a lot of quite sophisticated surveillance that goes on.

AC: So even if not phone hacking, which is far from guaranteed, the press have moved on to other things?

PW: I suppose the one glimmer of light is that because of what happened to my mother, we do not get it as bad as she did. We still have problems, for sure, but do have a little more protection because of the ridiculous levels it got to for my mother - the fact she was killed being followed, being chased, I think there are more boundaries to their actions.

AC: Really?

PW: It is a little better than it used to be.

AC: During the week of her death, Tony Blair spoke to your father and he said to me afterwards, “This is going to be a problem, those boys are going to need help, they are going to despise the media, blame them for her death, yet the media will be a part of their lives.”

PW: Yes, they are.

AC: When you were in Paris recently, posing for hundreds of photographers with President Hollande, did you look at them and wonder if any of them were among the ones who chased her that night?

PW: I’m afraid those are the kind of things I have just had to come to terms with. It is so hard to explain, using only words, what it was like for my mother. If I could only bring out what I saw and what happened in my mother’s life and death, and the role the media played in that, that is the only way people would ever understand it. I can try to explain it in words, but to live it, see it, breathe it, you can’t explain how horrendous it was for her.

AC: Do you think the reaction to her death was a big factor in diminishing the stiff upper lip approach, and changed the way we mourn? Do you think the kind of reaction we saw when, say, David Bowie died last year, would have been the same without that reaction for your mother?

PW: No it wouldn’t. The massive outpouring around her death has really changed the British psyche, for the better.

AC: You do think it is for the better?

PW: Yes, I do think it is for the better.

AC: How much did that week after your mother’s death bring you and Harry together?

PW: We are very close.

AC: And that feeling of shock, sadness, you never felt it strayed over to what I would know as an illness, depression?

PW: I have never felt depressed in the way I understand it, but I have felt incredibly sad. And I feel the trauma of that day has lived with me for 20 years, like a weight, but I would not say that has led me to depression. I still want to get up in the morning, I want to do stuff, I still feel I can function. Believe me, at times it has felt like it would break me, but I have felt I have learned to manage it and I’ve talked about it. On the days when it has got bad I have never shied away from talking about it and addressing how I feel. I have gone straight to people around me and said, “Listen I need to talk about this today.”

AC: Like when?

PW: Last week with the air ambulance, I flew to a really bad case, a small boy and a car accident. I have seen quite a lot of car injuries, and you have to deal with what you see, but every now and then one gets through the armour. This one penetrated the armour, not just me but the crew who have seen so much. It was the feelings of loss from a parent’s point of view, the parents of the boy. Anything to do with parent and child, and loss, it is very difficult, it has a big effect on me, it takes me straight back to my emotions back when my mother died, and I did go and talk to people at work about it. I felt so sad. I felt that one family’s pain and it took me right back to the experience I had. The more relatable pain is to your own life the harder it is to shake it off.

AC: How has the passing of time helped?

PW: They do say time is a healer, but I don’t think it heals fully. It helps you deal with it better. I don’t think it ever fully heals.

AC: Is there a part of you that doesn’t want it to heal fully because for that to happen might make her feel more distant? So you feel the need to stay strongly attached? If grief is the price we pay for love, maybe you want to keep the grief out of fear that loss of grief means you love her less?

PW: One thing I can always say about my mother is she smothered Harry and me in love. Twenty years on I still feel the love she gave us and that is testament to her massive heart and her amazing ability to be a great mother.

AC: How different do you think the country would be if she was still here?

PW: I have thought about that, but mainly from my own perspective. I would like to have had her advice. I would love her to have met Catherine and to have seen the children grow up. It makes me sad that she won’t, that they will never know her.

AC: What about the public Diana?

PW: I think she would have carried on, really getting stuck into various causes and making change. If you look at some of the issues she focused on, leprosy, Aids, landmines, she went for some tough areas. She would have carried on with that.

AC: She was an extraordinary woman.

PW: She was.

AC: How hard do you find the scrutiny? I mean you can’t even do a bit of bad dad dancing without someone taking a video?

PW: [Laughs.] Honestly, I can dance better than that. It’s true though, camera phones, Twitter, there’s not much privacy. I don’t think it was too bad. It wasn’t as if I was falling out of a nightclub, totally wasted. I think people realise everyone has to blow off a bit of energy and tension every now and then.

AC: So how did you feel when some of the papers said you don’t work hard enough?

PW: Criticism is part of the turf, I’m afraid. I think the public are much more nuanced. I have my air ambulance job, I carry out the duties the Queen asks me to, I have my charities and causes and I am raising a young family, so I can’t let that criticism get to me.

AC: A couple of the papers do seem to have turned against you, though?

PW: There is a certain element of Fleet Street getting fed up with nice stories about us. They want the past back again, soap, drama.

AC: Do you see it as part of your job to avoid giving them that? A bit of normality, stability.

PW: I couldn’t do my job without the stability of the family. Stability at home is so important to me. I want to bring up my children in a happy, stable, secure world, and that is so important to both of us as parents. I want George to grow up in a real, living environment, I don’t want him growing up behind palace walls, he has to be out there. The media make it harder but I will fight for them to have a normal life.

AC: But surely you must accept it is an abnormal life?

PW: Totally, but I can still try to protect them as children.

AC: The Queen, your father, you, now George. Four people on the planet who might one day be the head of state in the UK. It is fair to say republicanism has lost, not least thanks to your grandmother. The monarchy seems to have bucked the trend even though we live in a non-deferential, anti-establishment age. Do you feel that?

PW: I do feel the monarchy is in a good place and, like you say, my grandmother has done a remarkable job leading the country - her vision, her sense of duty, her loyalty, her steadfastness, it has been unwavering. We now have three generations of working royals, four altogether, and having that movement through the generations allows for the monarchy to stay relevant and keep up with modern times. You are only as good as your last gig and it is really important you look forward, plan, have a vision.

AC: Do you not look at the Queen, yet another garden party, yet another investiture, yet another state visit, and think how on earth can she keep going?

PW: Yes I do.

AC: Do you, your father and the Queen ever sit down, just the three of you, and just natter?

PW: [Laughs.] What, about Lady Gaga or something? [Prince William had recently recorded a Facetime chat with Lady Gaga for the campaign.]

AC: I was thinking more about being head of state. I mean, how do you learn?

PW: You learn on the job. There is no rulebook. I sometimes wonder if there should be, but in the end I think probably not. Having that difference in how we do things makes the Royal Family more interesting and more flexible. If we all followed the same line, it would all be quite stifled. Our characters are different and the different opinions are important to have.

AC: Your grandmother has always believed in there being a bit of mystique attached to it all as well.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: Never ever given an interview.

PW: No. Never. I seem to have sold the pass on that one.

Imagine Thorin, and the Company, in tears as he reads your letter while your adoptive brother, Legolas, hands him your wedding gift

A/N: Pure dedication to @fizzy-custard, @sdavid09, @life-is-righteous, @kittenwritesstuff ,@igotanaddixon and @fromthedeskoftheraven for such wonderful Thorin fics. Hope you like it and sorry for the crappy style. It’s been so long since I’ve written a drabble or one-shots of any kind.

And I need to let this out of my head when I listened to this song.

Word Count: 405

The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings, the Durins, Any of the Company, Legolas, and King Thranduil © J.R.R. Tolkien
Context © me

Masterlist: HERE

Originally posted by tallian

The Wedding Gift

Thorin never shed tears easily. But the fact he is crying happy tears has the whole company in tears as well. They’ve realized once again that their 15th and only female member, (Y/N) the Princess of Mirkwood, is destined to be Thorin Oakenshield’s wife and to be their Queen Under the Mountain.

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10

Anne Boleyn is known for her motto “Aisi sera groigne qui groigne - Let them grumble; that is how it is going to be” which she adopted from 1529-1532. Perhaps as response to those who defied the future Queen of England and wife of King Henry VIII. 

Once coronated, she had adapted the motto “The Most Happy”, however it is not known why this motto was adopted. Perhaps to reflect her feelings in 1533 when she had become Queen of England. 

Anne is mostly known for influencing Henry VIII to create the Church of England, and is also known for being the mother to Queen Elizabeth I, the Golden Queen. 

Unfortunately, Queen Anne Boleyn was executed on May 19th, 1536; for false charges of incest, treason, and adultery. However, her legacy still lives on today, as one of the most influential queens of the Tudor Era. 

“She who has been the Queen of England on earth will today become a Queen in heaven.”

for @lucreziaborgia

Ranking OUAT’s Villain Redemptions

10. Mr. Gold / Rumpelstiltskin - What redemption!?  Rumple was an out-and-out villain in S1, and he didn’t truly change at all in S2 no matter how often he publicly restrained himself to appease Belle.  S3 was the only time he made an honest effort at redemption, but it was fraught with failures, temptation, doubt and relapses into asshole behavior.  The only thing that made it succeed was that it occurred in a very specific set of ideal circumstances…and that Rumple died at the end of it all.  After being resurrected and losing his son, Rumple quickly regressed into the villainy he’s comfortable with, becoming the Big Bad of S4.  In S5, we had that brief “hero Gold” arc that was not only morally insulting and nonsensical, but also pointless since he ends up choosing to become the Dark One again by the end of it…the Darkest Dark One, in fact, who is thoroughly unpleasant up until the very end of S6, where - after being faced with the consequences of his own evil actions, consequences that include the potential destruction of the entire multiverse - he does the right thing once, which leads to Belle taking him back, allowing him to help raise their son, and him getting accepted at the big family dinner by all of his victims. What the actual fuck!?  That’s not a redemption - Rumple hasn’t repented of his evil ways, he hasn’t given up his dark powers, he hasn’t sacrificed one damn thing, and he only did something good after his own evildoing backfired on him. He is literally responsible for the crisis he helped resolve.  And yet he gets rewarded with his own “happy beginning” with his abused wife and helpless infant son?  Fuck off, A&E.

9. Regina Mills / The Evil Queen - I technically consider Regina to have the worst redemption on the show since I refuse to accept Rumple as even having a redemption. Regina’s first attempt at redemption happened quickly into S2, some may argue too quickly. While it seemed to be going well at first, it soon became apparent that she was only doing it in order to regain custody over Henry rather than out of any true remorse or desire to change. The moment something goes wrong for her, she turns evil again, and ends up being even more heinous a bitch than she was before.  If the show had been operating under any logic, Regina should have been considered irredeemable at this point.  But instead, she is given another chance, and for most of S3 she does a surprisingly good job…until the last five episodes, where her redemption is suddenly fasts-forwarded so that she receives all the rewards she has not yet done anything to deserve: a new boyfriend, easy reconciliation with Snow and with Henry, a True Love’s Kiss with Henry that breaks the Dark Curse, light magic out of nowhere that defeats her previously more powerful sister, and the complete trust and forgiveness of the entire town despite her past victimization of them. But then one thing goes wrong for her, and while she resists falling back into full-on villainy, she still returns to being a whiny, spiteful, self-pitying woman-child who is always looking for the easy way to get what she wants and occasionally does do evil things to achieve this, yet is paradoxically treated by the rest of the cast as a messianic saint, someone who has come so far and worked so hard and deserves her happy ending, with the narrative frequently giving her all of the big hero moments at Emma’s expense.  In fact, much of her development comes at Emma’s expense, since A&E clearly see her as the true star of the show.  And that show just isn’t any fun to me.

8. Cora Mills / The Queen of Hearts - This one is just bizarre. Cora was a villain of the highest order all the way up to her death, where she had a dying epiphany as to where she went wrong in regards to her daughter.  But for some reason, her death is treated as such a tragedy and as such a source of guilt for Snow (not how she killed Cora, no, just that she killed Cora at all) that one would think Cora redeemed herself before her death, which just isn’t so.  Things got iffier when Cora showed up in the Underworld during 5B, and after doing one good deed in reconciling with her daughters and getting them to reconcile with each other, she is allowed to go to Heaven.  While I personally find this acceptable since Cora actually did repent of her villainy and fully acknowledge that she would deserve to go to Hell if that was her fate, I can see why many would be bugged about one of the most evil villains in the show’s history being shown going to Heaven while other characters higher above her on the moral scale - Milah, Gaston, Auntie Em, and even Prince James in the same episode - are condemned to the River of Lost Souls.  When put into that context, it seems less like a good lesson on divine mercy and more a case of creator favoritism toward the character. Cora probably should have just remained in the Underworld to continue her redemption.

7. Maleficent & Ursula - Two thirds of the Queens of Darkness (the other one, Cruella, was an irredeemable sociopath in life and in death), both of them have things that work about their redemption and things that don’t work.  For Ursula, her redemption comes when, after Hook brings her father Poseidon to town who restores her singing voice, she realizes that her true happy ending wasn’t recovering that but reconciling with her father, who is now repentant of his past patriarchal abuse of her.  This is all well and good, but Ursula really didn’t do all that much evil for the redemption to be powerful.  She always came off as lost and confused and hanging out with the wrong crowd, not truly villainous.  And then there’s Maleficent, who has the opposite problem.  Her happy ending is also reuniting with a family member, her long-lost daughter Lily.  It’s sweet and touching, but it also glosses over all of Maleficent’s established villainy.  Maleficent cursed people, burned people alive, destroyed a village, was deemed as having the greatest potential for darkness by a Chernabog, but none of it matters in the end. Even her sworn vendetta against Snow and Charming (whom were made to look like villains and Maleficent their victim) is abruptly dropped and she’s suddenly getting along with them. It’s pretty much Regina’s bullshit redemption but on a mercifully smaller scale.  Since Maleficent did not actually repent of her evildoing, the show should have treated her character accordingly - as still a villain and a potential threat, but also a loving mother.  At the end, she’d be the gray-shading which is complimented by Ursula’s white and Cruella’s black. 

6. Tinkerbell - Aside from the villain-to-hero journeys of Regina, Rumple and Hook in 3A, we also got Tinkerbell, who was an ex-fairy turned trusted partner of Peter Pan.  The Nevengers persuade her to help them, but only if there’s something in it for her (namely, leaving Neverland and being able to confront the Blue Fairy about getting her wings back).  In the end, inspired by Regina and Hook’s progress, Tink learns to believe in herself and earns her fairy status back.  It’s a nice little arc, but it’s missing one crucial detail - the nature of her villainy.  We never see her and Pan interact, we never learn exactly what kind of work she did for him to make him trust her so much.  We see that she’s a scavenger who is prone to violence, but that’s it.  Wendy, Pan’s longtime prisoner, is friends with her, so she couldn’t have been all that bad.  This lack of clarity undermines what is otherwise a good redemption.

5. Zelena Mills / The Wicked Witch -  For the most part, Zelena’s redemption in S5 and S6 really works.  She was never as bad as Regina, so already her changing is more believable. When she realizes that her wicked lifestyle is actually harmful to her baby daughter, she allows Regina and Robin to take her in order to keep her safe.  She doesn’t join Hades despite him professing his love for her until she thinks she can use her own love for him to redeem him.  And when it becomes apparent that it won’t and never will, Zelena kills him in order to protect her sister and everyone else in Storybrooke.  When Regina is an ungrateful bitch and blames her for Robin’s death, Zelena is ostracized from everyone else.  But even when the Evil Queen comes along and tempts her to return to her wicked roots, Zelena keeps firmly out of the conflict, preferring to remain a neutral party for her baby’s sake until her hand is forced and she joins the side of good despite it not really getting her anything and no hero save for Belle caring much for her.  This commitment to doing the right thing comes to a head when she actually sacrifices her magic, the thing she’d defined herself by for so long, to help stop the Black Fairy, a sacrifice Regina should have made long ago but never did. After this, the other heroes fully embrace her as one of their own.  It’s a great redemption, but there is one snag - Robin, both the man and the baby named after him.  The baby Zelena conceived through deceiving Robin into thinking she was Marian.  By - let’s not mince words here - raping him.  It’s not quite as bad as Regina with Graham, especially since Zelena didn’t kill Robin and Robin was willing to give her a second chance of his own volition prior to his death, but it’s still rape all the same, and to have the rape victim die while the rapist keeps the baby is extremely squicky, no matter how surprisingly good a mother Zelena may be. This one aspect casts a shadow over Zelena’s redemption and it never should have happened. 

4. King Arthur - Arthur was a villain in 5A, a corrupt monarch obsessed with fulfilling his destiny and ruling over Camelot at all costs.  While despicable, Arthur was also somewhat sympathetic too, as he became more evidently pathetic as the arc went on and Merlin really did screw him up by filling his head with visions of a future he felt the need to achieve.  In the climax of 5B, Arthur escapes prison only to be promptly murdered by Hades.  Down in the Underworld, Hook confronts Arthur with the truth: he was a terrible king and will probably go to Hell if he doesn’t do something to atone.  Note that at first this is the reason why Arthur helps Hook in his quest for the book: he just wants to avoid the consequences of his villainy.  But as the episode goes on, a clear change in Arthur can be seen as he sees the depth of Hook’s feelings for Emma, his bravery and his nobility…in this lowly pirate, Arthur sees the man he had wanted to be and failed to become, making him feel true remorse.  Arthur then becomes invested in the quest to the point where he is willing to sacrifice himself to the River of Lost Souls so that Hook can get to the book.  And at the end, when a doorway to Heaven is open and Arthur has the chance to go through it, which was the whole reason he joined Hook on this quest at the start, he declines and opts to stay in the Underworld, to rule it as a benevolent king and make it a better place, which a short on the S5 DVD shows that he did indeed do.  In just one episode, Arthur had one of the best redemptions on the show, from a selfish cad to a noble hero.  While like Zelena, he also has a rape-like situation with Guinevere that remains untouched upon (he used magic dust on her to keep her from leaving him and turn her into his compliant wife), there was no confirmation of actual rape and even some proof against it (he was too consumed by his obsession with Exaclibur to do anything romantic for Guinevere, let alone sexual), so it’s not quite as harmful to his redemption.

3. Ingrid / The Snow Queen - Ingrid is an even better example of a great redemption being accomplished in just one episode.  Despite being terrifying, prejudiced and insane, Ingrid was also one of the most tragic and sympathetic villains to ever be on the show, with an absolutely heartbreaking backstory and her sole motivation being to have a family who loves her.  She cast the Shattered Sight spell in order to make everyone in Storybrooke kill each other save for Emma and Elsa, who would become her new sisters, but when Anna shows her a letter from her sister Gerta expressing remorse for imprisoning her and confirming that she still loved her, Ingrid realizes the error of her ways.  In one of the best redemptive villain lines in the series, she says “I am a monster. Not because of my powers, but because of what I let them turn me into!”  She then reverses the spell at the cost of her own life, telling Emma, Elsa and Anna that they are all amazing people and that she is proud of them, then saying that her happy ending will be to join her sisters in death.  The whole scene is acted and scored beautifully, and I can’t help but cry anytime I see it.  By acknowledging what she did wrong and accepting responsibility for it, Ingrid is one of the show’s best redeemed villains.

2. Anastasia / The Red Queen - One of the two main villains of Once Upon in Wonderland, Anastasia quickly began to look more appealing, sympathetic and redeemable in contrast to the monstrous villainy of Jafar.  Her main crimes, apart from aiding him, were giving up love for power and being a neglectful ruler to her people…and she was helping Jafar in the hopes of getting to change the past so that she never did any of that.  When this failed and it became clear that she wasn’t going to be able to take the easy way out, Anastasia gave up on her aspirations and finally took full responsibility for being a terrible queen, vowing to make it up to the people of Wonderland by fighting to save them from Jafar, a fight that she stuck through even when it got her tortured by the Jabberwocky and then murdered by Jafar. In the end, her redemption earned her life, being revived by the water from the Well of Wonders, and won her back the love of Will Scarlet.  Years later, she is still ruling Wonderland but now as the White Queen, who actively works to bring love, hope and joy to her people. Anastasia’s redemption is everything that Regina’s is not, with her being fully self-aware of her villainy, truly remorseful of her actions once she starts her redemption, and with purely altruistic motives - doing the right thing just because it’s the right thing and she wants to help make amends for her past mistakes.  Add in Emma Rigby’s performance and it’s nigh-perfect.

1. Killian Jones / Captain Hook - Hook’s redemption starts at the very end of S2, inspired by his regrets for failing Baelfire long ago and not wanting to do the same with his son Henry, putting aside his desire for revenge in favor of doing the right thing.  He had everything to gain by not making this decision, but he does so anyway.  Throughout 3A, he does an admirable job helping the heroes through Neverland and returning to being the honorable man he was long ago, although his motives aren’t entirely pure as he hopes to woo Emma. When he is separated from Emma and gives up hope of reuniting with her, he tries to go back to his villainous pirate ways, but is overcome with remorse after doing so, realizing that his time with Emma changed him to the point where it’s not just for her that he wants to reform for, but for himself too.  When he learns that Emma’s family is in danger and that he must find her and get her to go help them, he trades the Jolly Roger - and his home, crew, livelihood and reputation along with it - in order to do so.  He continues to do good not to “get into Emma’s pants” but to ensure her happiness regardless of whether she ever returns his feelings, and to be the hero he now sincerely wants to be. His redemption comes to a climax in S5, where he becomes evil again after Emma forces the Darkness upon him to save his life, and is once again put into a position where he’d gain everything he wants by following through on his villainy, but remembering that this is not the man he wants to be, he once again does the heroic thing instead, at the cost of his own life.  In the Underworld, Hook learns the value of self-forgiveness and accepts the possibility of a second chance at life, but when it looks like this is impossible, he promises Emma to move on to Heaven when she asks him too.  Unable to do so until his unfinished business of helping Emma defeat Hades is resolved, Hook has a heroic quest alongside Arthur where he proves just how far he’s come, and when he goes into the light to fulfill his pledge to Emma at the end of it, he is instead resurrected by Zeus, deeming him a True Hero worthy of being reunited with his True Love.  

Hook’s redemption is superb not just because of the events that transpire and his growth throughout it, but because of his overall attitude toward the whole thing.  He knows full well that he was a villain, is remorseful for every crime he committed and takes full responsibility for them, and whenever the chance to make things right with someone he wronged comes up, he takes it.  It takes a long time for him to fully get past his self-loathing for his past sins, as he doesn’t feel entitled to happiness just because he’s changed and is doing heroic deeds now, as opposed to Regina, Rumple and initially Zelena who all believed themselves entitled to a happy ending, their crimes and victims be damned.  And lastly, also unlike them, every privilege that Hook has by the end of the series he has earned through his own hard work at redeeming himself.  He has no leftovers from anything he gained as a result of his villainy, even the rings on his fingers have changed from ones that belonged to dead victims to new ones he presumably fairly bought.  His new wife and family, his friendships with others, his house, his ship, his job as deputy sheriff, his very life…all thanks to his heroism and the good karma it rewarded him with.  All of this is why Hook’s redemption is truly the series’ finest.

The King-part 2

The King-part 1

Summary- Gwendolyn yearns for more. More freedom, more choices, and more pleasure only King Negan can provide. Medieval AU

Warnings- Smut, Knife Play, Possible Dub-Con, Punishment, darker than my normal stuff

Word Count- Around 4.3K

Author’s Note- Probably not historically accurate. Lol. This is my submission for @jeffreydeanmorganrarechar Red Velvet prompt as well as @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash Negan Writing Challenge prompt knife play. Thanks to @theatricalbride for the brain storming session. It helped a lot. This will probably be a collection of one shots.

Tag List- @breemacen24 @negans-network @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @ladylorelitany @melodicdolls @ninjacuddlepile @negansqween @thatwriterizzy @sassyfiedscribbles @ashzombie13 @wadeyourebarelyalive @starshinesupergirl @adayinmymeadow @astrangegirlsmind @supererogatoryblog (these are the people that have requested to be tagged in everything I write or have said they don’t mind if others tag them…if I missed you just let me know. I’m sorry)

My beautiful moodboard was created by the lovely and talented @ofdragonsanddreams16. I love it! It is so gorgeous.

Gwendolyn gazed at her reflection. Her hand slid down the bodice of her dress. She finally looked and felt like a queen. Having been married for a little over a month, she had felt like a prisoner, a possession, and a failure but never a wife or queen.

She had been raised to expect to marry a king of her father’s choosing. He stressed that it was her duty to secure an alliance with a powerful kingdom. Her mother persuaded her that marrying for position, power, and the love of the people would provide her a life with purpose. Who needed the love of a husband? Gwendolyn was prepared to live without it. In fact, she was taught by her mother to live independently of a husband and keep her own council. Many men would be happy to share her bed and leave her to her own devices during the day, but she had not married just any man.

King Negan was possessive and guarded her jealously. In the stories of fair maidens being rescued by handsome knights, he would have been the dragon that burnt all would be suitors to ash and cinders. He isolated her so only those loyal to him had access to her. Her handmaidens were chosen by him, reported to him, and seem to delight in reminding her of that fact. There was no friendship, no shared gossip, none of the warmth she had had with her previous servants.

She fared no better with the ladies of the court. They knew she held no favor with her husband. Therefore, there was nothing to be gained by her friendship. It would only bring themselves under the scrutiny of the king. A situation everyone actively avoided.

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in the middle of the night

a cs, canon compliant fic taking place during the cs movie. sleep doesn’t come as easily as you’d think. 

my piece for the CSSB, with the wonderful artwork by the wonderful maddy aka @jell-obeans! i couldn’t have finished this without her constant encouragement and collaboration, so here’s to you, kid! let’s hope this is a wonderful start to a writing trend for me!

edit: SO MADDY MADE AN EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL PIECE, AS IF THAT WAS POSSIBLE. WATCH THE GIF MOVE.

+++

Sleep succumbs their companions quicker than it does for Killian and Emma. It doesn’t surprise him, how easily the future king and queen find themselves able to relax despite the danger lurking around every corner. Well, the danger that will soon lurk around every corner, once the Evil Queen finds out Snow White’s still a part of the land of the living.

He’s sort of glad he won’t be around to see the aftermath of that revelation.

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Anna and Elsa Lyrics

Anna and Elsa:

YOUNG ANNA:
Do you wanna build a snowman?
C’mon, let’s go and play

YOUNG ELSA:
I could cover this whole place in snow
I’m not supposed to though

YOUNG ANNA:
Yeah… just do it anyway!
Do it for your sister
Elsa please, oh please!
I can’t do the things you do

That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

YOUNG ELSA:
You really wanna build a snowman?

YOUNG ANNA:
You know I do!

YOUNG ELSA:
We’ll stay up late and build that snowman

YOUNG ANNA:
YESSSSSSSSS

BOTH:
Me and you

PABBIE:
This is the story of a family
A long time ago
A king, a queen, two princesses
A summer night and snow

KING AGNARR:
Girls, what have you been up to?

PABBIE:
Elsa was a special child
That much is clear
Her magic filled her parents’ hearts
With so much love… and fear

QUEEN IDUNA:
Elsa, sweetheart, what did we say?

YOUNG ELSA:
Magic must stay a secret.

QUEEN IDUNA:
Yes. There are just some things we don’t do in public.

YOUNG ANNA:
Like run naked in the breeze!

PABBIE:
Then there was Anna
The second child

YOUNG ANNA:
Freeze my belly!

PABBIE:
Flying and fearless
And running wild

YOUNG ANNA:
Freeze my face!

PABBIE:
How she loved her sister from the very start
Yes Elsa had her heart

BOTH:
One two three together
Clap together snap together
You and me together
Knees together freeze together
Up or down together
Princess crown together
Always be together
You and me

PABBIE:
This is the story of a family
With secrets to keep
And through(?) their sacred land
Where respect for the crown runs deep

YOUNG ANNA:
Freeze my butt!

PABBIE:
And so the royal family is always on display
The people loved their princesses
And watched them as they aged

TOWNSPEOPLE:
Anna and Elsa
Side by side
The light in the dark once
The kingdom sky
The promise of our future, sure and strong
Warms us all year long

Nuwa nu
Nuwa heya nu
Nuwa nu
Nuwa heya nu
Nuwa nu
Nuwa nu

Na na na heya na
Hahiyaha naha
Naheya heya na yanuwa
Hanahe yunuwana

Anna and Elsa
Right now you’re small
But one day you’ll grow up
And lead us all
Through days of cold and storms we suffer through
We will look to you

QUEEN IDUNA:
Come on, my loves, time for bed.

KING AGNARR:
And that means ACTUALLY sleeping, Anna… ok?

YOUNG ANNA:
I LOVE sleeping.

QUEEN IDUNA:
Does anyone need a bedtime story?

YOUNG ANNA:
No, please, we’re way too tired. Bye, and goodnight! Love you! Thank you! See you tomorrow!

Forbidden [Kim Jongin] - Part 5

Summary: No one said, becoming prince’s future wife servant is going to be easy.

Genere: Angst, fluff (?)

Warnings: Voilence (somehow), swearing

AU: Royals

Pairing: Kim Jongin x Reader

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Becoming lady Shin’s private servant was probably the worse thing I’ve ever experienced. When we were alone, she was cunning and bossy, but every time she was outside her room she changed into totally different person. She turned into kind and polite women with fake, but perfect smile on her face. I am still wondering why she chose me. Maybe she figured out that something happened between Jongin and me. Back then, when lady Shin arrived, he didn’t want her to pick me. Damn it. He even lied that I’m a seamstress. But there is one thing I know for sure. Lady Shin is smart. Too smart to miss something like this.

I was running to her room with another cup of tea in my hands. She told me she wanted to drink some coffee, so I just went to the kitchen to make some. When I came back, the first thing I saw was her devilish, cunning smile. She changed her mind. She wanted tea. I had no choice, but to obey. Lady Shin threatened me with a night in the dungeon. For her I wasn’t a human being. For her, I was like an item, her property.

Pushing the door open, I stepped inside her room. Lady Shin was sitting on a big sofa with a book in her hands.

“Finally” she put it down “What did take you so long?”

“I am sorry, my lady” I said and got closer to her “I just could not do it any faster”

“What a pity” her high-pitched voice always sent shivers down my spine “You better hurry next time. Because you know what will happen, right?”

I nodded. Thank to this few days with her, I just got used to the threatens.

I haven’t seen Jongin at all. I spent my whole time in lady Shin’s room, or just somewhere close to it, doing everything she wanted. I know Jongin and lady Shin were engaged, but it was obvious he didn’t want that marriage. But lady Shin was loved that idea. She loved that now, people had to show her even more respect than before.

Taking a deep breath, I bent down to place the cup on the table in front of Jongin’s fiancé. Of course, my clumsiness showed once more at the wrong place, in the wrong time. My ankle twisted and I spilled whole drink on lady Shin. I heard her scream and the next thing I felt was sudden pain. She pushed me so hard, I hit the ground and the empty cup crushed next to me. Shattered glass almost reached my hand.

“You peasant idiot!” she shouted and her palms went to her red dress “I just have enough of it!”

I started to look around me, not sure what to do.

“I am so sorry, my lady… I-”

“Just shut up!” she interrupted me and stomped her feet “Just shut up, you fucking servant!”

I’ve never heard any of the royals use such a language. Even when king Doyun was angry, he still controlled himself.

“I told you” her voice was ringing in my head “You do something wrong once more, you sleep in the dungeon”

No, no, no, no. I didn’t mean to do anything bad. She chose me as her private servant and now she’s insulting me and threatening me. That’s not how the future queen be like. Sadly, no one except me knew who she really was.

“Tonight, you are not going back to your room” she started to clean her dress “The guards will show you the way to your new bedroom”

What else could I say? I was only a servant, I was no one compared to her. I just sat on the ground with tears in my eyes, my whole body shaking. Now, I needed him. I needed Jongin. Even though I was trying to forget him for my own good, I just needed him to be here with me. I couldn’t handle being lady Shin’s private servant any more. I just wanted to scream into her face that she doesn’t deserve to be here and she doesn’t deserve Jongin. I wanted her to know who I really am.

But it didn’t matter now.

“Get up” she said harshly

I obeyed and in the moment I stood up, she grabbed me by my shoulder. Her fingers tightened around me and I almost hissed from unexpected pain. She pulled me with her and started walking to the door. I almost stepped on the broken glass. Lady Shin opened the door and almost threw me outside.

“Take her to the dungeon” she ordered the guard standing on my left “She’s spending the night there… And don’t give her anything to eat”

He didn’t even have to nod because she stormed back to her chamber, loudly shutting the door.

I took a deep shaky breath. Night in the dungeon without any meal sounded terrifying. I barely had time to eat in the morning because she needed me so early, so now I was starving.

“She’s horrible, isn’t she?” the guard’s question surprised me

“Y-yeah” I sighed and looked at him carefully “She is”

I wasn’t sure if I saw him before, but if I did I would remember him. He was tall and had fluffy white hair. Next thing I noticed were his pointy, yet cute ears.

“I’m Chanyeol” he introduced himself “And you?”

“Y/N” I replied “But I’m sure you’ll forget it”

“I promise I won’t. I will forever feel guilty for taking Y/N to the dungeon”

I managed to smiled at his words. For sure, he was some kind of moodmaker.

I didn’t want to sleep in the cell so badly. I was scared, terrified. I’ve never been in the dungeon before.

“I’m sorry, but I think me need to go” Chanyeol continued “Lady Shin might come back soon and I bet she won’t be happy to see you’re still here”

I slightly nodded and swallowed loudly. We began walking to the dungeon.


Another rat’s squeal echoed in the corridor, sending shivers down my spine. I was sitting in the corner of the cell on a small shaft of hay. I guess it was supposed to be some kind of bed for the prisoner. I brought my knees to my chest. I couldn’t sleep, even knowing it was the middle of the night. I had the feeling that I’m not alone here, but I wasn’t able to see any other person here. Guard or a prisoner. No one.

Night in a cell, in a big wet dirty dungeon without any meal for spilling coffee on a dress? That just didn’t sound right. It’s not a thing a good queen would do.

I was starving. I haven’t eaten for the whole day. It was freezing here and the only thing I was wearing was a thin dress for servants. My breath was shaky and I could feel shivers going through my whole body.

Once more I caught myself humming the anthem of Southerlands. My father taught me this melody when I was young. It was one of a few things I remembered about my home country. I couldn’t recall the flag or anything else. Just the anthem. Somehow it made me feel better. It made a small spark of hope appear in my heart. Maybe one day, people will finally know who I really am.

Suddenly, I heard loud and fast footsteps echoing in the corridor. I stopped singing and my eyes immediately went to the grille. They were getting louder and louder. Someone was getting closer with every second. Was it lady Shin? Other prisoner who managed to escape? Maybe the guards?

“Oh, God” the soft voice I’ve heard made me tear up

My eyes met gentle, brown ones of a person I wished to see for a long time.

“Jongin” I whispered looking at him

When my voice broke down, I saw him tightening his grip on the grill. I could tell he was angry. But not at me.

“We have to get you out of here” his voice was soft and quiet

“Your highness” a guard appeared next to him “You shouldn’t talk to the prisoner”

“What is she doing here?” Jongin ignored his words

“Lady Shin ordered to take this servant girl here”

“Open the cell”

I couldn’t see clearly from here, but enough to know how surprising prince’s statement was.

“Or just give me the keys” Jongin continued

“B-but your highness, lady Shin said-”

“I don’t care what she said!” the prince yelled “Just open it!”

The guard hesitated, but after a while, I’ve heard the clink of the keys. The cell opened and Jongin stormed inside. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled closer to him.

“You are so cold” he whispered “How long have you been sitting here?”

Tears started to fall from my eyes.

“I have no idea” I let him embrace me

“I will get you out of here now” he gently caressed my head “Can you stand up?”

I slightly nodded. He gently moved strand of my hair from my face and touched my cheek. I caught myself leaning for his touch. Jongin grabbed my hands and helped me stood up. My legs were shaking, so he just wrapped his arm around my waist, to help me keep balance. We began to walk, but I almost immediately started to get dizzy. I couldn’t feel my knees. Without a word, he put one of his hands under my legs and the second one under my back. He lifted me up and walked out of the cell. I curled my fingers on his shirt.

“If you will tell someone what happened here” Jongin hissed at the guard “I’ll make sure you will lose your job as soon as it’s possible”

He didn’t even wait for his answer. I’ve never seen him like this. Angry and threatening others. The most surprising thing about it was that I was the reason of it. Or more like, what lady Shin did too me.

“I will never forget what she has done to you” Jongin whispered against the top of my head “Never”

I felt myself losing consciousness, but for some reason I felt safe.


I woke up with a terrible pain in my back. I was sure it was a consequence of sitting by a hard cold wall of the cell. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to ignore the brightness going through the window.

“You woke up”

The voice I’ve heard made me shift on my arm. Jongin was sitting on the chair next to the enormous bed I was lying on. I looked around. I just couldn’t mistake this place. This was his room, and I’ve been sleeping in his bed. Pink flush appeared on my cheeks.

“Yeah” my voice was husky

“Did you sleep well?” he asked and folded his hands

“Yes, thank you… I’m just a bit sore”

He let out a sigh and his brown eyes landed on me. I looked down. I was wearing a big grey and silky shirt. It ended right above my knee and the sleeves were too long. It must’ve belonged to Jongin. I crossed my legs flustered and my hands went to the hem of the material. I didn’t remember changing. I was wearing the servant’s dress last night.

“Um…” I didn’t know how to ask the question “D-did you…”

“Did I help you change?” he raised his eyebrow at me and when I nodded, he just laughed quietly “No, don’t worry about it. I asked some female servant to do this, but first I made sure she was trustworthy. She’s not going to tell anybody”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just let silence fill the room. It wasn’t awkward. We both knew we needed that, to think about everything. Previous words were just excuse to talk to each other.

“I forgot to tell you” Jongin got up from the chair and walked to a small table “I asked to brought it here for you”

He returned with a tray. Suddenly, I remembered how hungry I was. I haven’t eaten for whole day, whole night and probably some hours more. On the tray I saw a small plate with croissant, on the other ones there were pancakes with some topping, french toast and an apple. I also saw a glass of orange juice and a cup of tea. I was wondering how will I eat all of this.

“You stare at the food with such an awe” Jongin laughed “You look funny… But cute”

Normally, I would blush, but I was still mesmerised.

“Thank you” I whispered “It’s all for me? Really?”

“Of course” he shrugged

I smiled brightly and began to eat. The food tasted amazing, probably because I was absolutely starving before, but I didn’t care. I quickly drank the juice and the tea. As I finished consuming, I sighed loudly and fell back onto the mattress.

“You must’ve been really hungry” the prince said

“I was” I murmured “Thank you once more. No one gave me that much food since I became a servant”

“So you weren’t a servant before?”

Now I realised what I’ve just said. It was so close, my secret would be revealed. I couldn’t tell him. At least not now.

“Yes, but it’s a long story and I don’t like to talk about it” I shook my head, hoping he didn’t find out anything “Jongin… How did you know I was in the dungeon?”

“I went to lady Shin’s room in the afternoon because my father wanted me to show her around the palace. When I came there, I saw a cup shattered on the floor. I asked her what happened and she told me…” he took a deep breath “She told she snt you to the dungeon for disobeying her. I didn’t want to come for you in the middle of the night. I wanted to come earlier, but my father told me to stay at the meeting about…”

He hesitated. I saw that. He just didn’t want me to know something.

“About what?” my curiosity won

“About my marriage” he breathed out

I blinked a few times and looked down. How could I forget about it even for a few seconds? I was serving his future wife after all. Lady Shin didn’t deserve him. Jongin was too good for her.

“Y/N” he sat on the bed and grabbed my hand “It wasn’t my decision. I finally have an opportunity to tell you that I don’t want it. I don’t want to marry lady Shin.”

I wasn’t brave enough to look at him.

“Then what do you want?”

“I want you” he took my chin between his fingers and made our eyes meet “I want to be with you everyday. Whole day and whole night. I want to fall asleep next to you and wake up next to you. I want to spoil you as much as I can because you are my only one. My treasure. I want to cuddle you, kiss you and do things I shouldn’t even think about. Trying to stay away from you was driving me crazy. It’s just impossible for me”

He let go of my chin and looked down. I saw his hands curling on the sheets.

“I told you before, when we were in the garden… I started to be interested in you when I first saw you in the palace. There was something in you that mesmerised me. After that night, during my birthday party, a small spark of hope appeared in my heart. I thought it would be gone by now, but it’s not” he took a deep breath “If you don’t want the things I want the just tell me. I will-”

“Who says I don’t want it?” I cut him, mustering up my courage

He was just staring at me when I took his face in my hands.

It won. The need of Jongin won. I know it was risky, but I just couldn’t help it. I was saying that I’m trying to forget him for my own good. Who was I lying to? Me? The others who didn’t actually know about anything? It just didn’t have sense anymore. It didn’t have it even at the beginning. I knew it before. Prince Kim Jongin was like a drug which I was addicted to.

I connected our lips in a firm, yet sweet kiss.

Author’s note: Sorry for not updating for so long!

ok but consider

An future!AU where the paladins have moved on to things beyond Voltron, the evil has been defeated they’ve settled down and are doing their own thing on both earth and New Altea.

Shiro and Allura are running new Altea which is essentially just a refugee planet as the king and Queen, Shiro stepped down from being black paladin once Allura had their first child. 

Pidge works as a intergalactic botonist and techie, has a girlfriend and is enjoying her time as a young adult 

Hunk became the castle’s head chef and unofficial babysitter, he runs a tight ship but everyone in his kitchen love the hell out of him, he and shay are together

Keith is a high ranking member of the blade of Marmora which is now like the universal police, they uphold the diplomatic laws or whatever.

But lance, Lance is the only member to stay with Voltron now as the black paladin, with his own team. No one is really sure why, by the one day the lions up and left new Altea coming back a week later with a group of confused kids who needed answers

So it was taken as a sign, something big was coming and they needed to be prepared. They explained the situation most of the teens agreeing to help.

Now lance has his own team, with his own red and blue paladins, he watches as they fight and bicker like he and Keith use to. Then he watches the blue paladin die at the hands of their new enemy. He watches as the blue paladins sister takes the reins after that.

He watches the red paladin antoganoize the new blue paladin out of grief, he watches the red paladin becomes enamoured with one of the four living Alteans

He watches as the yellow and green paladin start sneaking off together and start spending the night in each other’s  rooms, wearing each other’s clothes.

He watches and he smiles because this is what Shiro saw and his team loves him. Sometimes he gets a little out of it, because no everyone else moved on should he move on too? Then he hears red say something before a dully thud and world war 3 and thinks that this is exactly where he should be

Also klance, mutual but not offical with lance’s team screaming in the background whenever they interact