Tagging: Dorothy McCoy-Turner, Ryan Andersen, & Alex Temple-Price; mentions of Will Turner ( @willthebaker ), Eric Andersen ( @nerdyeric ), & Daina Ivanova ( @drdaina ) Location: The Turner Home, The Q train & Manhattan General Hospital Time Frame: Afternoon, Thurs. Dec. 14, 2017 General Notes: When 3 friends happen upon the subway together, a few unexpected occurrences take place. Panic attack tw
Me, internally: everything about Subway is-is like infuriating. Yeah, it’s like, the people in front of you take too long, and like there’s no drive-thru, and like, it-it’s just all … I don’t know, I’m over-exaggerating obviously, but Subway is like the land of inconveniences. ‘Cause then, it’s like I-urgh. I have to be, “okay” and then like they’re like, “what do you want?” and I’m like, “uhh … sweet onion chicken teriyaki footlong on flat bread.” and then they’re like, “what bread?” and it’s, ugh, “flat bread.” And they’re like, “oh, okay.” And then they, they fuckin’ take, and they’re like, “did you say footlong?” “Yes, I said footlong.” “You want cheese?” and it’s like, “you want cheese?” it’s like, “yeah can I get um … swiss cheese?” And they’re like, “what kind?” And it’s like, “fucking…” Ugh. And they’re like, “toasted?” and it’s like, “OF COURSE toas—you cant have the flatbread and not toast it! It’s-It’s like spongy, gross, starchy-ass fuckin’ bread. It’s made to be toasted! OF COURSE I want it toasted!” And then they fuckin’ toast it, and they start helping the people behind you, and then it sits in the toaster for like twenty seconds longer than it’s supposed to. And you’re like, “I JUST WANT LUNCH!” And then they fuckin’ take it out, and it’s like ANOTHER person, and then you have to fuckin’ get a read on THEIR personality. And it’s like, “God damn it.” And they’re like, “what do you want?” And it’s like, and I’m like, “uh spinach”, and then they just fucking DESTROY it with spinach just like an AVALANCHE of spinach and you’re like, “I want like FIVE other things! You can’t just fill it up with spinach and think that’s ALL it’s gonna be!” And then you fuckin’, and then you’re like, “onion” and they’re like, “okay” and they put like two onions on it, and it’s like, “MORE ONION PLEASE!” And then when you get like some ‘weird’ combination like fuckin’, “can I get mayonnaise, and also sweet onion sauce?” They like throw up their eyebrows a little bit like: “woah.” And you’re like, “Don’t fuckin’ JUDGE me! I’ll eat what I want! I can make my OWN sandwich!”
Editor’s note: This is a breaking news story. As often happens in situations like these, some information reported early may turn out to be inaccurate. We’ll move quickly to correct the record and we’ll only point to the best information we have at the time.
I’ve been wandering around NYC all day, and I just hid a signed copy of my new book between some issues of the Metro Newspaper near the West side of 33rd St and 8th Ave at the A C E station. If you find it first, it’s yours! I’m going to hide one more today and post about it on my Twitter account!