on your arse

the ichiruk/s i sWEART TO GOD.

She didn’t even . fucking. touch him.  can you fuckers shut up about her ‘raping’ him you literal pieces of shit.

she was prepared to die and exchanging her own life to save their fucking sorry asses. all she wanted was a goodbye kiss. WHICH SHE DIDN’T. SHE COULDN'T’ BRING HERSELF TO TOUCH HIM EVEN IN HER SPIRIT FORM. bECAUSE SHE RESPECTS AND LOVES HIM.

WHICH PART OF THAT IS SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND????

CAN YOU NOT READ??? 

DO YOU NOT HAVE EYES??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU????

SHE’S GOING TO SACRIFICE HERSELF FOR HIM THEM AND ALL SHE WANTED WAS A GOODBYE KISS AS A FINAL DEATH WISH.

WHICH SHE DIDN’T DO.

BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM.

AND RESPECTS HIM.

SO CAN YOU FUCKER SHUT YOUR ARSE HOLES AND STOP SHITTING ALL OVER THE FACTS.

JESUS.

archiveofourown.org
Chapter 21: Plans Archive of Our Own
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works


Rating: Mature

Warnings: Slavery (duh), coarse language, violence sexual references, 

Fandom: Vikings (TV)

Summary: While Ethna, Ruth and Seumas hatch a plot to avenge their friend Ardney’s death, Ivar plans to travel to meet Helfrim’s mysterious relatives under the guise of a hunting trip with his brothers.


After washing the muck from her in the communal tub, Ethna found the man she was looking for in a heap by the door, asleep and reeking of ale.

“Seumas, wake up,” Ethna prodded her teacher with her foot. “Seumas I have a plan…”

“Let me try,” Ruth suggested walking up behind her. Ethna turned in surprise and watched with horror as she picked up a jug of water.

“Ruth, don’t…”

Ignoring Ethna’s plea, she dumped the water on the sleeping man’s head, “Seumas you drunken bastard! Get off your arse!”  Ethna stepped back as a tremendous roar erupted from the man’s throat. “Good morning,” Ruth sang sweetly and Seumas replied with a string of curses, “Hope you slept well.”

What time is it?”Seumas groaned and rubbed his face, settling down.

Mid-morning, close to noon,” Ethna reported.

“What so important that is couldn’t wait till this evening, wee shite,” he murmured and nursed his head. Ethna nervously glanced at Ruth and back to Seumas.

“Nothing, I worried you no go to work,” she stuttered and turned to leave. Ruth grabbed her wrist and held her back.
“That’s not true, I heard you say you had a plan, whatever it is, I want in,” she demanded.

Ethna tried to back up, “I don’t understand…” she stammered feigning confusion. Ruth’s face scrunched up in anger, but she looked into Ethna’s eyes and sighed, letting go of her wrist and stepping back.

Lass, what did ya want?” Seumas piped up from the floor.

Forget it,” she mumbled and turned on her heel. It was a terrible idea anyway.  Not only could it get her killed, but it could very well damn her. She could never see her family again, even in death.

She was my friend too.” The statement made her halt in her tracks. She stilled as Ruth raised her voice again, “If you have a plan, let’s hear it, because I don’t, none of us do, and I’m tired of being helpless,” Ruth pleaded. Ethna swallowed and took one more step. “I know who killed her, ” Ruth blurted.

Continue on AO3

what
  • Draco: Hey, Potter! I want to see your arse
  • Harry: what
  • Draco: -be kicked so you will learn your place. Let's fuck
  • Harry: WHAT?
  • Draco: -ing take this outside! I'll give you head
  • Harry: W H A T?
  • Draco: -aches so that you're in pain all the time. Be my boyfriend
  • Harry: W H A T???????
  • Draco: You heard me, Potter
  • Harry: Oh. Alright, then.

Figure out what you want to do with your life and just do it. Dedicate a separate journal for you to write down all of your goals and detailed steps towards achieving them. Stopping sitting around and half arsing your way through things because you can’t seem to find any direction, because seriously guys, life is what you make it and sometimes you need to get up and force yourself to do the things you know will benefit future you. Things like I’m Still Young or I’m Too Old are out of the question, no matter how old you are, what you study or where you study, use the time you have right now to hustle. I mean really hustle.  Because you don’t want to look back and say you should’ve worked harder, trained harder, tried harder, thought harder, fought harder. Don’t give yourself a reason to have regrets later on in life. 

My Dearest Harry,

 

Happy Birthday!!!! I’ve set an alarm for 8:30, and if you haven’t fire-called me by then I’m side alonging Rose over to scold you. Today took some serious planning, dear, and that boyfriend of yours will never forgive me if you show up late. Wear that green top- it brings out your eyes!

 

With love,

 

Hermione Granger-Weasley

 

 

Potter-

 

If you are late this afternoon I will fillet you alive.

 

Birthday Wishes.

 

-Draco (I love you. Wear the green top.)

 

 

Harry,

 

Happy 37th, Mate!!! Do us all a favor and get your old arse out of bed before 2, would you? ‘Mione and Draco have been working together, and you know how they get going. She’s in a right fuss, that one. I had to talk her out of sending you a howler this morning, and that was only by… Distracting her, so to speak. As I’m human and understand human emotions, needs, etc., (unlike our crazy robotic lovers), I’ve sent over a coffee and some chocolate frogs to make the ungodly time a little more bearable.

 

Cheers!

 

Ron

 

P.S. Hermione told me to tell you to wear the green top? I don’t give a flying fuck what you wear as long as you and Malfoy manage to keep the clothes firmly on this time.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had to hold mum down, she wanted to bring you breakfast in bed this morning. As much as she loves you, I’m not sure how she would have felt if she walked in on you having a lovely birthday shag with Malfoy against the coffee table. You’re welcome. See you tonight. And, for Merlin’s sake, try to be on time. In the green shirt, or Malfoy will send you straight back. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-Ginny P.s. Luna sends her regards and also asked me to tell you that green wards off the hucklefins.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had the strangest dream last night, Harry. I was being chased by a group of wrackspurts, all of them demanding I return their ‘treasure’. I was quite confused by their insistence that I had taken this ‘treasure’ (you know how I feel about stealing, it affects my aura), and I kept spraying lilac essence to ward them off, but to no avail. I asked Ginny if she thought it meant something, but she thinks I may have just had too much to drink last night. What do you think?

 

Oh yes dear, I almost forgot! Happy Birthday! I do hope you know to be on time, but I’ll try to distract him if you run late. I read last night about some very new potions research that could keep him talking for at least an hour.

 

Love you, dear.

 

Luna (Wear green.)

 

 

The boy who continues to live,

 

I’d say congratulations, but you’ve been complimented so many times for merely staying alive that it feels tacky at this point. Draco’s got himself all in knots over tonight’s events, and as much fun as it’s been watching him all flustered, I know that if you manage to screw this up I’ll be the one supplying his alcohol, so I feel I must warn you; If you wish to continue to be the boy who lived, show up on time, and properly dressed, if you can manage. Although, come to think of it, “The boy who fucked up one too many goddamn times” has a ring to it.

 

-Pansy Parkinson

 

 

Harry,

 

You have always been a son to me, dear. I know it goes without saying, but if I learned anything from the war, it’s that telling people what they mean to you is a privilege, and something we should do as often as we can. So, and I don’t mean to be sappy love, I know you have big plans for tonight, but I simply have to tell you how proud I am of the man you have become. Happy Birthday, dear. (I’ve sent over some breakfast, though Ginny suggested maybe I shouldn’t have. Terribly sorry if I’ve interrupted anything. Draco’s favorites are in there too, just in case.)

 

-Molly

 

 

Harry!

 

Happy Birthday, you geezer. The Amazon is great, as promised, if a little hot for my taste. I’m sorry to be missing your evening tonight- there truly isn’t anything for it. They want me back at the University this Thursday, and I’ve got very little besides a sunburn to show for my time out here. Personally, I think they’ve been a little outrageous with the timing; researching Amazonian werewolf roots and ancient cures isn’t exactly a picnic, you know.

 

Enough complaining. How’ve you been? How’s Draco? Have you finally bucked up and popped the question? I assume not; someone would have owled, I’m sure. You really ought to do it soon, Harry. If you don’t, he will, and you know how terribly dramatic he is. Just think on it. Send my love to Grandma, would you? I miss her terribly. Oh, and you can have some too, of course.

 

-Teddy Lupin

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

I know you aren’t awake yet. You are never awake before noon. Which is why, in approximately 28 minutes, if you don’t firecall mum (which you won’t) to tell her you’re getting ready, (which you aren’t), I’m coming over there myself to talk some sense into you.

 

You do realize how important today is? Happy Birthday. I’ll see you in precisely 27 minutes.

 

-Rose Granger-Weasley Future Minister for Magic

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

Please be awake when Rose gets to your place, she’s in a scary mood this morning. Happy Birthday, and best of luck, because Mum isn’t much better by the looks of it.

 

-Hugo

 

 

Harry

 

Happy Birthday. I know you are prone to sleeping in, but Draco has been particularly high-strung about this evening and I would really encourage your punctuality this once. I will, unfortunately, be quite busy this evening, but I look forward to seeing you soon. Tea at the manor Wednesday, perhaps? Talk to Draco and get back to me. Oh, and you do look so ever lovely in green. Regards,

 

Narcissa Malfoy
—  Birthday Letters

i’m only human, i make mistakes
i’m only human, that’s all it takes
to put the blame on me
                                                   don’t put the blame on me

↳ For @extrakyloren

  • *Harry, Ron, and Draco sharing a table in the Library*
  • Harry: Really Malfoy could you stick your nose any higher?
  • Draco: Really Potter could you flash your scar anymore?
  • Ron: Really Malfoy could you wedge that stick further up your arse?
  • Passing Student: Haha Yeah Malfoy you prissy pureblood twit!
  • Harry, Ron: Hey!
  • Harry: Excuse me are you part of this conversation?
  • Draco: Yeah, who invited you?
  • Ron: No one gets to insult Malfoy except us!
  • Passing Student: But he just insulted you.
  • Draco: And I'm the only one who gets to insult them!
  • Ron: Exactly!
  • *Student leaves*
  • *Hermione arrives, pecks Draco on the cheek, and sits next to him as he puts his arm behind her*
  • Hermione: Hey guys did I miss anything?
  • All: No.
  • Draco: Just polite small chat.
  • Harry: Bonding.
  • Ron: Waiting for you.
Singapore Sling

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Rating: NC-17

Character count: 35,696 / Word Count: 6,521

Your duties as maid of honour were fairly simple: maximise alcohol and minimise stress, keep an eye on the bride-to-be, and above all else, have things under control. You’ve promised yourself to keep this wedding a fuckup-free zone, anticipating smooth sailing from the moment you land in Antigua. When danger emerges on the horizon in the form of a denim-clad devil dressed in Gucci and gold, things take a turn—nothing in the MOH handbook has prepared you for what to do in the event that you unwittingly sleep with the best man.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

daily mail posted some picture of Daniel as celebrating his baku win in St Tropez with mystery blonde

If we review the evidence we can clearly see “mystery blonde” is Stoffel Vandoorne 

Case closed let them live happily ever after. 

anonymous asked:

honestly louis's fist and knuckles resting gently above harry's is probably the least totally platonic thing that and most domestic thing that could ever exist especially considering harry didnt tag lou in it cuz they were tryinna be discreet. why do people even doubt this ship like wyd

Listen I could sit her all day making a masterpost of how Louis and Harry are the least platonic people I have ever seen in my life. It wasn’t even a slow burn. It was like 

BAM!

“Lemme get in yo arms!”

Damian ‘cockblock’ Wayne - Jason Todd x Reader

Anon - Can you do a Jason Todd x reader where Damian keeps cockblocking Jason and the reader (he sees the reader as an older sister/mother type of figure)

WORD COUNT - 1.4K

Summary - Sexually frustrated Jaybird seems to not be able to catch a break.

Warnings - swearing, make outs, reference to sex.


“God I want to kill Grayson…” Jason grumbled as he climbed through your apartment window, normally he would visit you during the day and take you out, but most recently he had been appearing in your apartment at ungodly hours of the night after patrol; he came over either just needing to feel you next to him as he slept, or just needing to feel you writhing beneath him, moaning his name as he showed you how much he loved you – he had been away for a couple weeks, patrol had practically taken over his life and all he was thinking about through those gruelling weeks was you, and how much he missed you and needed you.

“Baby? You better be ready to stay awake all night long…” He smirked to himself as he made his way to your bedroom, kicking off his shoes and throwing his leather jacket away in a random direction before swinging your bedroom door open. “Jay?” You whispered, eyes widening as you sat up and stared at him as he started pulling off his armour. “You have no idea how much I need you right now, if you thought you were sore the day after my birthday, god babe you’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow.” He bit his lip, taking off the rest of the remaining clothing on his body, leaving him all bare before you. “Jay shut up!” you squeal, you did love his spontaneity but this was definitely NOT the time. “You won’t be saying that in a couple minutes…” He smirked, striding towards you and ripping the duvet from your body and revealing you and a certain someone else.

“What the-?! Why the fuck is demon spawn here?” He backed away, grabbing his boxers and pulling them on like the flash as he stared at little Damian, snuggling his face into Jason’s own pillow as he slept soundly. “Dami has been keeping me company since you’ve been gone!” You whisper-shouted, getting out of bed and pushing Jason out of the bedroom and closing the door behind you.

“I thought you weren’t back till morning?” you spoke “I couldn’t wait…” He spoke low, eyes darker than night as he grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his waist and turning you so you were now against the wall; he crashed his lips onto yours impatiently, not wanting to answer any more of your questions. “Jay-mhpf” You tried to speak, but Jason clearly wasn’t having it as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, your tongues now fighting for dominance as he slid his hands into your shorts as he began groping your arse, taking you to the lounge area and throwing you against the couch.

You laid there breathless as Jason went back to his original position between your legs, kissing your neck and sucking onto your sweet spot beneath your ear as he grinded into you, Jason Jr clearly happy to see you; if Damian wasn’t asleep in your bed right now you would gladly go all the way to welcome Jaybird back home, but, he was.

“Jay- Damian might wake-“ “I don’t care let me show you how much I love you..” Jason purred, tugging at your shorts as he kissed your hips. “Y/N?” A voice echoed in the hallway “Damian!” You gasped, pushing Jason off of you and turning to look at Damian. “Fucking cockblock…” Jason groaned as he continued to lay on the ground where he landed, earning a side glare from you. “You’re insufferable.” Damian rolled his eyes at Jason and then turned back to you “I thought you had been kidnapped, last time I saw you, you were in bed with me so I was concerned. Anywho, continue whatever you were doing I’m going to get some water.” Damian spoke, nodding towards Jason before returning into the shadows and back to your bedroom.

“Now where were we…” “No Jay!” you giggled, pecking his lips before getting up on your feet. “What? He said continue!” He whined, pouting his lips out at you; god you wish you got that as a picture, because if you told anyone the mighty Red Hood pouted his lips out at you to get what he wanted, well, he would indefinitely deny and no one would believe you anyway. You shook your head, smiling to yourself “Oral?” he pleaded, watching your magnificent behind walk away from him as you rolled your eyes “five minutes in the shower?” He raised his voice “good night Jay!” you chuckled “Jerk me off?!” he shouted out, he really needed you right now, soon after he heard your bedroom door slam shut. “God I hate you demon spawn…” He groaned, collapsing onto the couch.



He glanced down to his crotch, sighing, he was literally throbbing; “what am I going to do with you now?”


The smell of pancakes and bacon filled the air, Jason nose twitched, waking up on the couch in the same position that he fell asleep, a mug of hot chocolate sat beside him. “Y/N?” He called out, stretching out his body and sitting up, rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his dark hair before glancing to the kitchen, expecting to see you in one of his shirts… and ONLY one of his shirts… bending over the island in the centre in order to get something, your ass practically inviting him to come in.

Although, much to his dismay, he looked over only to see Damian sat the island eating, and you, fully clothed.

He sighed, standing up, earning a few cracking sounds from his back before groggily making his way towards you.  “Todd.” “Cock block.” They nod to each other, as Jason made his way towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist he smiles “good morning” you giggle, leaning back into his warmth as he hugged you from behind, he began to kiss the spot beneath your ear making you bite your lip.

“AHEM” Damian spoke up, making Jason groan against your skin, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Why is he still here?” He whines “Because he wanted to spend some time with me! You’re lucky he didn’t wake up when you were all lusty last night.” You chuckled “It’s not my fault that I wanted my girlfriend after weeks and weeks apart. I have no idea how people can wait till marriage.” he smirks, resting his hands on your waist and turning you around to face him, he tucks a stray hair behind your ear as he looks down at you lovingly, leaning his head down towards your lips. Just as he was only mere centimetres away from those lips he has wanted to taste for weeks,  Damian’s head pops up next to the two of you and his hair brushed against your cheek.

“I know you two are a couple but I care more for my hunger rather than that so Y/N may I have 2 more slices of toast?” He asks “Help yourself.” You smile, ruffling his hair before turning back to face your beloved boyfriend “GO HOME DEMON SPAWN.” He growls, earning a glare from you as you slapped your hand on his very broad chest “Jason!” you gasp “oh come on! my balls are almost as blue as Dick’s nightwing suit” he complained, hands gripping a bit tighter onto your waist.

“Todd could you refer to your genitalia more subtly, I’m trying to eat my breakfast” Damian sneers, biting into a piece of toast. “BEAT IT DEMON” “Maybe that’s what you should be doing” “DAMIAN!” you gasped, surely something like that shouldn’t come out of the mouth of someone his age. “What? It would make him less of a challenge to be around” “Dami! Go get ready I’ll take you out for ice cream!” you couldn’t help but let out a laugh, you did not expect Damian to say anything of that sort out loud, let alone think of it. “Tt” he rolled his eyes, retreating back to your room to most likely get a shower.

Once the coast was clear, your attention was now all on Jason.

“Couch. You have until you hear the shower stop to do what you want, I don’t care whether if you’ve came or not, when the shower stops, we stop.” You smirk “Ooo I love it when you take control sometimes” Jason winks, slapping your behind before dragging you to the couch.


“Y/N your shower seems to need fixing so I took it upon myself to call a – TODD WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING TO Y/N”


Not my best of works I must admit but I hope you enjoyed and if you would like to request just message me! 

TAGS

@darlingpeanut @brooke-supernatural16 @lostinspace33 @permanent-lines

hazyxthoughts  asked:

"How do I send texts again? I press this?" "No, wait, don't! Oh shit you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!" "I DID WHAT"

This prompt literally made my shitty exhausting day a hundred times brighter and I love you for it.


Draco: Listen, Weasley, I have a favour to ask of you. Humongous favour. One that you can never tell anyone about if you don’t want to lose your balls, your dick and your nipples all at once.

Ron: *alarmed* I’m listening?

Draco: See, since Harry is on a mission and I can’t physically reach him I would like to send him some photos, to, khm, keep him entertained. And I forgot how to send photos along with texts.

Ron: *nervous* What kind of, umm, photos exactly?

Draco: *smirks* Exactly the kind you’re thinking about.

Ron: Uhhh

Draco: C'mon Weasley. I will cover your ass in front of Granger for a whole year.

Ron: Really? Hmm..she does go hard on me sometimes… Circe, fine. I just hope I don’t go blind from seeing your ugly naked arse. 

Draco: Ugly? Potter begs to differ. *winks*

Ron: *chokes*

Draco: *takes out his spell phone* Look, these are all the photos I want to send.

Ron: *squints at them sideways*  MERLIN’S MIGHTY MOUSTACHE. *covers his eyes with his hand*  How much must I have sinned in this life to deserve to see this. *opens his eyes a tiny bit * NO! No! Don’t click on it. That’ll only enlarge it and I don’t think I’ll survive seeing your ass up clos-  ohmygod I see your balls too and is that your di- OHGOD *closes eyes*

Draco: Stop being so dramatic, Weasley. My ass, as well as my other parts, is exquisite. Now, how do I send these again? I press this, right?

Ron: NO! No, wait, don’t! Oh shit, you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!

Draco:  I DID WHAT?

Ron: *whispers in shock* You sent it to everyone.

Draco: *squeaks* EVERYONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYONE? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY FATHER WILL RECEIVE THIS PHOTO??!!

Ron: YOUR FATHER HAS A SPELL PHONE?

Draco: Of course, he does! He likes to keep up with the trends!

Ron: *doubles over, starts heaving from laughter*  I JUST WITNESSED LUCIUS MALFOY BEING SENT DICK PICKS BY HIS OWN SON THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM LIVING

Player Vs Player [m]

smut /// Knowning how much you love to play games, Minseok challenges to probably the competition of a lifetime. His mouth versus your will. Who will win?

“How long are you going to play that game?” You had your eyes glued to the screen but you could tell Minseok was at the doorway, watching you with a subtle glare.

“Uh…I’m ending soon.”

The uncertainty in your voice caused him to sigh. “You need to eat dinner.”

“I’ve eaten,” you said.

Keep reading