on today's episode of 'why do I still have this saved'

Sleeping Over

Combined request from two anon readers for a Jax x Reader using the following prompts:

#18 - “You’re warm, s'great for cuddling.“

#36 - “Woah, I never knew you had a tattoo!”

Originally posted by marip0sadahlia

Throwing yourself down on the couch, you yawn, the episodes of today wearing you out.

Pretty much all day you’d been helping Jax redecorate the house, him deciding he wanted a fresh start combined with the fact that Abel was dying for a race car bed, so why not just give him a whole new room?

You’re probably the strongest mother figure that Abel has, although yours and Jax’s relationship is only platonic. Of course, you’d love it to be more than that, but you’re not one to push, and Jax has been through more than enough these past few months.

The man himself appears from the hallway, smirking at you before lifting your legs up and sitting down on the couch, your limbs being draped across him. “Look at you, all worn out.”

“I have been helping you since eight this morning.” you remind him, your eyes flickering to the clock on the wall. “I’d say fourteen hours of work is more than long enough to tire anybody out.”

Jax whistles lowly, his head lolling back as he looks up at the ceiling, his hands moving soothingly up and down your legs. “I guess time flies when you’re having fun, babe.”

“Easy for you to say. I’m pretty sure half of your paint went in my hair.” Jax chuckles in response, your fingers pulling at the knotted strands that are splattered with blue pigment. “I should be going anyway.”

“Or, you could stay.” Jax suggests, your cheeks tickling pink as he turns on his pleading eyes and his charming smile. Pretending to think about it for a minute, you roll your eyes, nodding in acceptance.

“Guess it makes more sense, probably easier for you to put me through more slave labour if I stay the night.” Jax smiles at you, the sight seemingly more beautiful everytime you see it. “Is it alright if I take a quick shower?”

“Sure. We could take one together, you know, save water and all that.” he says, a smirk on your lips. Sitting up, you move your legs from his lap, tapping his cheek twice before standing.

“Keep dreaming, big boy.”

You walk through to the bedroom from the bathroom, humming a random tune as the smell of Jax covers you, the combination of his shower gel and his clothes that you’re currently wearing making you smell nothing but him. Moving to the mirror, you adjust the waistband of Jax’s sweatpants, running your fingers over the inked writing on your hip.

“Woah, never knew you had a tattoo.” You almost jump out of you skin as Jax speaks from the doorway, a smirk on his lips as you look over your shoulder.

“What can I say? I’m full of surprises.“ He shakes his head and smiles before stepping back and heading into the bathroom. “You still sleeping on the right side?”

The toilet flushes, followed by the running of the tap, before Jax reappears in the bedroom. “Yeah. Surprised you still remember.”

“Of course I do, I used to stop here all the time before you started being a dirty stop out.“ You tease, your heart clenching at the idea of Jax sleeping with other women. Many other women.

“Jealousy suits you, babe. You mind?“ he asks, gesturing to his shirt. You shake your head, trying to contain the flush that’s definitely crawling up your face as his toned physic comes into view. However, the knowing look in his eyes makes you think he’s already aware of the effect he has on you.

The two of you pull up the covers, slipping inside the sheets. For some people, sharing a bed with a male friend would be awkward, but for you and Jax, it was comfortable, normal.

Once he’s turned out the lights, Jax settles into the bed, the two of you facing one another, a barely there gap between your faces. “Thanks for today. Sometimes I wonder where I’d be without you.”

You smile within the moonlit room, Jax’s expression changing to a slightly more troubled one. The struggle and hurt is heavy within his eyes, the man in front of you having seen a lot more shit than most.

“Probably dead.” you deadpan, attempting to lighten the mood. You pat yourself on the back mentally when it works, Jax’s pink lips tugging up slightly. Rolling his eyes he turns onto his back, lifting his arm up and silently inviting you into him.

You comply - obviously - shifting to rest your head on his chest, his arm closing around you as you rest your palm on his chest. He sighs, content with your position, something about you just calming him like nothing else could.

“You’re warm. S'great for cuddling.” you whisper, Jax trailing his fingertips up and down your arm as you close your eyes, the melodic sound of his steady heart beat acting as your lullaby. He hums in response, a gentle kiss being placed on the top of your head.

“Abel loves having you around, you know.” Butterflies swarm your stomach at Jax’s words, your ears open and listening, your mouth not sure what to say. “So do I. Just feels right, like everything isn’t completely shit.”

“I like being here, feels like home.” you admit, placing a small, experimental kiss on Jax’s chest, his grip on your arm tightening encouragingly. Grinning to yourself, you wrap your arm around his torso, part of you wanting to see if anything progresses tomorrow and the other half wanting to stay here forever. “Goodnight, J.”

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” Jax says, holding you close within his arms, the two of you drifting into the best sleep you’ve had in ages.

A/N - Hope you liked this!! I wish I had me a Jax Teller 😭 maybe without the cheating😂 Check out my masterlist if you’re new, I write mainly SOA but also some SPN! Tomorrow’s imagine will be a Chibs x Reader! ❤

Secrets

Requested. (This was a little bit difficult for me….hope it’s up to par D:)

Song or Quote : Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.
Who: Peter Parker

Peter sulked behind Tony who led them to an old diner that miraculously was still standing after everything the city had been through. He was dreading what was going to be said to him once they finally sat down. Peter had messed up, bad. Tony ordered a black coffee and a cherry turnover while Peter just stuck to a chocolate milk. He didn’t even want anything but Tony insisted he get something. The silence was painful and seemed like it was never going to end. 

After some time of watching Tony eat his turnover, Peter finally decided to break the painful quiet. “Look, Mr. Stark, I just, I need, I want to apologize for not being on my A game tonight.” 

Tony chewed for a minute, staring at the teenager before swallowing and deciding to respond back. “Mind telling me why I almost got my head ripped off and your body almost getting torn in half? This isn’t some game, kid. It’s real life and real life means real danger and real danger means broken bones and dead bodies. When I bring you along to these kinds of things, I bring you because I need you. Just because I’m Iron-man doesn’t mean I can do everything which is something you will never hear me say again.” 

Peter bit his lip, shaking his head. Trying to find the words to justify why his mind was not where it was supposed to be. Stuttering and tripping over his words, he bowed his head and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. I, it’s, I, my-”

“-just stop.” Tony sighed, running a hand over his face, he inhaled deeply. This was a kid sitting in front of him, just a kid. A kid that was fortunate to have these abilities and unfortunate at the same time because he was stuck with them. Looking at Peter, he asked calmly, “Where was your mind at, kid? Why weren’t you focused?”

Peter refused to meet Tony’s gaze, he didn’t want to admit why he had been spacing out. Because, he knew that lives were at stake but the guilt of cancelling his date with [Y/N] for the fourth time in a row was eating away at him. He desperately tried to keep his crime fighting life as Spider-Man and [Y/N] separate. He didn’t want to put that burden on her, constantly being worried whether or not he was going to make it home or not. It wasn’t fair to cause stress when he could just avoid it and keep his Spider-Man life private. 

Sipping on his coffee, Tony sternly spoke. “If we’re going to be working together, we’ve got to be honest with one another.”

Again Peter didn’t respond, he just didn’t know how. 

“What was so damn important in that brain of yours that made you forget about your life for one split second?”

Peter toyed with his hands, shrugging his shoulders, getting frustrated with himself. “I don’t know, Mr. Stark. I just, I spaced. I know this is important and that I should always stay focused but, I just, I-”

“-Peter, listen to me, and you listen good. I see potential in you, please for the love of god don’t make me regret my decision.”

Peter frowned, looking down in his lap, he toyed with his fingers again. “I’m seeing this girl, [Y/N], Mr. Stark. I have been for awhile now and I kept it a secret because I don’t know, I want to keep my personal life for just me. And I don’t want to drag her into this life because well, she doesn’t need to be apart of it.” Looking up at Tony, Peter sighed. “I’m still a kid and I want to do kid things like go to school, see her in the hall and think to myself, ‘wow, she’s so beautiful,’ and then meet up with her at the lockers and talk about how her day has been going. Go on dates, have awkward moments on those said dates, struggle to find the words to say when I find out that I love her.” Peter ran both hands through his hair, “Tonight was the fourth night in a row that I’ve cancelled on her and I’m just afraid that she’ll leave me and I don’t want that because when I’m with her, I feel good. I feel great, actually. I feel normal, I feel like just a normal kid and it’s an escape from this double life I’m living-which don’t get me wrong, Mr. Stark, this life is nice too because I feel like I’m making a difference in this world but sometimes I just need a getaway and [Y/N] is my getaway. Wait…what are you doing?” 

Tony mumbled under his breath, “I may have bit off more than I can chew.” His focus was completely focused on his watch, his fingers were hovering over a holographic keyboard as he toyed with it. In seconds [Y/N] social media profile was hovering in the air, “Is this? This is the girl you’re seeing?” Tony seemed impressed, “She’s cute.” He looked up in time to find Peter’s horrified stare, ignoring it, he skimmed through her pictures and interests. “Very cute, aw, well isn’t this sweet. Is that the Statue of Liberty? It is, isn’t it. Hm, let’s see ‘Peter took me to see Lady Liberty today!’ Oh come on, man. You took her to see the Statue of Liberty for a date?” 

Still stunned that Tony had [Y/N]’s social in his hands, he swallowed. “Uh, yeah, she, uh, she’s always wanted to go and I thought, you know, I should, wait why are we talking about this right now?” He wanted to get off the topic of [Y/N]. There was a reason why he kept her from Tony despite knowing that he could easily get onto it. 

Waving his hand over the floating images, they vanished. Toying with the keyboard some more, another image popped up over his wrist. Swiping the images, he nodded in approval. “She’s a smart girl. All A’s and lookie here, she’s in three AP classes. How old are you again? How does she have the time for this and you? These are some impressive scores, probably the highest in your grade I take it. Let’s just see, oh look, she does with you being right behind her.” Waving his hand again to make them disappear, Tony leaned forward. “Okay, look, I get why you’re head over heels, puppy dog in love with her. She’s a cute, smart, very smart girl.” 

“Did you? Did you just hack into my school’s grading system to look at her grades?”

Waggling his finger, Tony narrowed his eyes. “Ah, no changing the subject and really? You have to ask? I’m Tony Stark, I could get into this rinky dink diner’s security system and shut it down.” Clearing his throat, “Listen to me, kid. Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good. You put your life at risk tonight because you were too busy worrying about her. But you know what, I get that, I get you want to protect her from this double life thing your living. I get it. But what you don’t understand is that keeping her from this, is only making it worse for you and her.” 

"I can’t just tell her I’m Spider-Man! She’ll freak out and if she freaks out, I’ll freak out. Her and Aunt May are very similar in their freaking out episodes. I have to keep it a secret.”

“You know, I’ve heard girls date men that resemble and remind them of their fathers but I’ve never heard boys dating girls that remind them of their really attractive aunts.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes, “I never said [Y/N] reminds me of Aunt May, I just said they freak out the same. But yes to some degree, I guess you could say they have similar qualities-but that’s besides the point! I am not telling her I’m Spider-Man.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “When you have someone that means this much to you, you want to protect them and only them. I’ve been there, kid. You want to make the world a better place for them but the thing is, is when you step foot into that suit. It’s not just about them, it’s about everyone. You have a responsibility to save as many people as you can. And when you’re all in love and what not, you lose sight of that responsibility. Prime example was tonight when we almost died.” 

“So I just what? Break up with her and suffer? Because I don’t think I can do that, Mr. Stark. If anything, it’ll make my concentration worse.”

“I’m not saying that. What I am saying is you have a responsibility to save as many lives as you can without losing your own. You’re young, you’ll find other [Y/N]’s, if not better ones.”

Peter squinted his eyes, shaking his head. “No, I won’t. There’s no one like [Y/N]. No one.” 

Tony half nodded, understanding the firm point the teenager had. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead, “This job isn’t easy and you’ve got a long way to go before these instincts start to feel like second nature.” Glancing out the window, his eyes caught sight of a familiar face among a crowd of kids about to step foot into the diner. “Word of advice, Parker? You should tell her what you’ve been up to. Because one thing I will say is that despite my distaste for love, that kind of girl is not the kind of girl you let slip away from your fingers over something so irritatingly silly as not telling her who you are and what you do.” Throwing down some money, he stood up and winked at Peter before saying, “Because a few years from now, I may scout her to work for me and that’d be so unbelievably awkward to work with her after you were an idiot in not telling her.” 

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Out the door to my lavish expensive penthouse where I can take a wonderful lavender bath.”

“Peter?”

Peter spun around, frozen in place to find [Y/N] standing behind him. Struggling to stand up, his knees banged the underside of the table before scrambling out of the booth. [Y/N]?! What, what are you doing here?” 

Raising a brow, she eyed Tony suspiciously, “I could ask you the same thing…”

Tony smiled, “You must be [Y/N], Peter has told me so much about you. Sorry about having him cancel on your date but I really needed to finish up some finishing details on his entry for the September Foundation.”

“At a run down diner?” She asked, not really believing in his lie.

“You know what, you, my sweet girl, are a lot smarter than I had been told.” Moving around her, he headed for the door. “Peter will telling you everything you need to know.” Winking before leaving the door, he chuckled to himself as he left Peter looking frantic and nervous. 

[Y/N] crossed her arms, “Peter, what is going on? I thought you said Aunt May wouldn’t let you go out tonight. And why the hell was Tony Stark in this diner with you? And, the September Foundation? What is he talking about?”

Sighing, he reached for her hand, “We need to have a long talk about all of those questions but not here.” 

Weight

Anon: Can you please do one where lance is self-doubting and staying up really late and training? Like he gets really sick from not sleeping. Like can’t keep anything down sick. It’s okay if you don’t want to do or you already did this already. Please and thank you!

Anon: Maybe something where Lance is getting berrated (idk why) and Keith comes to his defense like in intensness or something.

A/N: When I started writing this, I didn’t intend for it to be so dark. Hot damn. Deep shit ahead. Also, I’m horrible at pet-names. I tried to write from 3rd person Keith instead of omniscient so here we go ᕕ(ツ)ᕗ

It was a particularly depressing mission.

The Blue Paladin had to make a near-impossible choice. Surrender Voltron, or surrender a resource-heavy planet and all its inhabitants. Death wasn’t mentioned in either scenario, but it was very heavily implied. In the end, Lance made the choice to save Voltron on the basis that they would save many many other planets by defeating Zarkon in the long run.

But that didn’t mean a whole planet’s worth of deaths wasn’t weighing on his soul.

Keep reading

Tips For Writing Time Travel:  An Illustrated Guide.

@jjpivotz asked:

“What is a good way that I could write time travelling without it being cliche?”

Ooh, I love questions like this!  They’re so much fun, and on a somewhat self-indulgent level, they really get me thinking on the tropes themselves.

So without further ado, here are my personal thoughts on writing about time travel:

1.  Embrace the fact that it’s not gonna make total sense.

This goes for a lot of creative fiction.  When I was writing my urban fantasy novel, for example, I used a lot of traditional mythological figures whose duties and depictions (i.e. one humanoid being reaping the dead despite the fact that over a hundred thousand people die a day, billion-year-old entities who still look and behave like teenagers, figures from religions whose world views wildly conflict interacting with each other, etc.) weren’t compatible with what we currently know about the laws of physics.  

And the sooner I resolved not to even attempt to explain it, the sooner my novel improved.  

The wonderful thing about fiction is that it doesn’t have to imitate reality as we know it;  the laws of the physical universe need not apply.  And as long as the characters in your universe accept that, so will the reader.  

I’ve had around twenty beta readers look at my book, and not one of them has poked holes in my casual disregard for the conventionally accepted rules of physical reality.  The suspension of disbelief is an amazing thing.

As for how to best apply this to time travel, take Back to the Future, for example. This is one of the best time travel series ever made, but if you really look at what’s going on, you’ll come to find that none of it really makes any sense at all.

First of all, Marty McFly is a popular high school student whose best friend is an eccentric nuclear physicist.  Conventional wisdom (and just about every fiction writing book or advice blog I’ve ever read) would dictate that this is a pretty heavy plot-point and warrants some explanation.  But the narrative never questions it, and as such neither does the vast majority of its audience.  

It is in this exact manner that Back to the Future handles its heaviest of all plotpoints, the act of time travel, which is the main driving force behind its entire plot.  

How does it explain Doc Brown’s ability to time travel?  Well, he invented the Flux Capacitor, of course.  What is a Flux Capacitor, you ask?  How does it work, exactly?  Well, fucked if I know.  All I know is that the narrative treats it like it’s a real thing, and by default, so do I.    

The same could be said for the magically changing family portrait, the fact that the characters can’t interact with their past or future selves without universal destruction, flying cars, and the fact that the McFlys’ future children inexplicably look exactly like them.  None of it makes any sense.  And it’s fucking magical.

Another of my favorite examples of this is pre-Moffat Doctor Who.  The science is campy, occasionally straight-up ridiculous, and unabashedly nonsensical, yet paves the way for some truly great and thought provoking storylines and commentary.  

Bottom line is, I don’t know how to time travel.  I’m guessing you don’t either, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be asking me for advice on how to write it.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Don’t be bashful about it – trust me, time travelers are probably a minority in your readership, so they won’t judge you.

So as to what would be a good means of writing time travel, the short answer is:  any way you want.  For obvious reasons, I’d stay away from old cars, police boxes, and phone booths, but with the power of the suspension of disbelief, virtually nothing is off the table:  a pair of magic sneakers, a refrigerator, a closet, a treehouse -oh, crap, that one’s been done before.  But you get the picture.  You can be as creative as you want to be about it.  Don’t be afraid to step outside the police box, so to speak.  

Trust in the magic of the suspension of disbelief, and don’t overthink things.  Your story and readers will thank you.

As for how to avoid other cliches, that brings me to my next point: 

2.  Look at the tried and true tropes of time traveling.  Now subvert them.

This might just be me and my adoration of irony talking, but since you specifically asked how to avoid cliche I’m going to indulge myself here.

Do the exact opposite of what people expect from narratives about time travel.  You know the old trope:  the protagonist steps on a bug, and comes back to the present to find the world being ruled by gorillas.  

I’m not telling you not to include drastic consequences for time travel, because there would probably be quite a few (at least if you believe in the chaos theory, which states every action has a universal reaction.)  

But you could toy around with the idea that fate isn’t something that can ultimately be altered at all, and that all the protagonist accomplishes is solidifying (or even triggering) a pre-existing outcome.   

My knee-jerk suggestion, as someone who takes fiendish glee in incorporating humor into my writing, would be to make the protagonist have some Forrest Gump-type encounters that unwittingly trigger huge, history-defining event, but it can also be significantly more tragic than that:  maybe the protagonist goes back in time to save his father from a hit-and-run car accident, for example, and then accidentally kills him.  Or perhaps he realizes that his father was a bad man (beat his mother, planned on killing someone, etc.) and makes a moral decision to kill him (which is also a great way to ask philosophical questions.  More on that later.)  

I don’t know what kind of time travel your writing or what your style of writing is, but these are things I’d personally just love to play around with.    

Or maybe time travel does change things, but it’s not even close to what the protagonist expected:  maybe his words of wisdom to his newly married mother about true love and the meaning of life and whatnot unexpectedly lead her to realize that she’s deeply unhappy in her current marriage, and he returns to the present to find her divorced (lesbian stepmom optional.)  

Maybe absolutely nothing at all changes, but he realizes that he’s responsible for some famous Mandela Effect, like the Bearenstein/Bearenstain discrepancy.  

Bottom line is, don’t be afraid to do the unexpected.  But conversely, don’t be afraid to use tried and true tropes, either:  regardless of how overdone they may seem to be, they can almost always be rejuvenated when interjected with a thought-provoking plot.

Which brings me to my final point:

3.  Make sure it has something to say.

Science fiction, especially the speculative variety, tends to be best when it begins by asking a question, for which it will later provide an answer.  Take, for example, Planet of the Apes.  The pervasive question of the movie is whether or not humanity is inherently self-destructive, which it ultimately answers with its famed final plot twist that humanity has long since destroyed itself.  

Rod Serling (who was incidentally responsible for the original Planet of the Apes, by the way) did this remarkably well:  almost every episode of the Twilight Zone packed a massive philosophical punch due to the fact that they followed this simplistic formula.  The episode would begin with the presentation of a question, big or small (frequently by the charismatic Serling himself) and by the end of the episode, that question would be answered. 

I’m not going to go in to detail here, as it would spoil the magic of uncovering the plot twists for the first time, but Serling used his speculation to tackle the narrow-mindedness of beauty standards in Eye of the Beholder, the dangers of fascism in Obsolete Man, the communist paranoia of the time period with the Monsters are Due on Maple Street, and countless more.  

I would recommend watching the original Twilight Zone for almost anyone looking to write speculative fiction such as time travel. 

Even if your work isn’t compatible with this specific formula of Question => Debate => Answer (which some work isn’t) it will still need to have some kind of underlying statement to it, or no matter how clever the science fiction is or how original the time travel is, it will fall flat.  

This is why Twilight Zone, Planet of the Apes, Back to the Future, and (pre-Moffat, as I always feel inclined to stress – he does literally the opposite of almost everything I recommend here) Doctor Who still remain widely enjoyed today, despite the fact that many of their tropes have been used many, many times since they original aired.

So for time travel, remember that it is a means, not an end.  You could write the most cliched type of time travel story imaginable, and your audience will still feel fulfilled by it if your message is heartfelt, thought-provoking, and/or poignant.

Maybe you want to use time travel to make a statement about your belief in the existence of fate, or lack thereof.  In this case, using the Sterling Approach, you would have your story begin with the question of whether or not humans can alter or change destiny, allow the narrative/characters to argue the question back and forth for a while, and then ultimately disclose what you believe the answer to be.

Or maybe you want to use time travel to explore or subvert the treachery of history and how it is taught, and show how the true narrative can be explored, purposefully or otherwise, by the victors.  

Maybe you want to show that there’s no clear answer, or maybe no answer at all, a la the cheerful nihilism of Douglas Adams novels.

Either way, figure out what you want your message to be long before you put pen to paper, and then use time travel, like any other creative trope, as a means to an end to answer it.  Your story will thank you for it.

(I hope this helps!)

The future - and it is showing us this loud and clear

This episode was amazing. After flailing and basically shouting all day I am so happy and so excited that I joined tumblr - the quality of posts today has been excellent, both humorous and inciteful and I LOVE YOU ALL :)

I hope its ok I’m going to tag a few great posts in this to reference as I don’t want to go over stuff other people have already meta-d about so excellently!

This episode, titled the future, seems to me to be Dabb basically telling us what he wants for the next part of the show, the “better way” that he wants to take it.

So here are my main bullet points that I will expand on a little below and link those excellent posts to where relevant:

A. Sam 

Sam is clearly portrayed again, recurrently as the researcher, the “brains” of the operation (before you say ‘Dean is so clever though!’ I’m just pointing out Sam’s love of the scholarly side of things and how this is where he fits). Sam’s endgame must now be to head up the MoL/hunter network in this respect.

B. Sam and Dean 

They work so well as a team here, Sam putting a tracker in Cas’s phone while he’s distracted by Dean, researching v whatever Dean was doing (maybe making a pining mixtape along the lines of “all by myself” and “I miss you” “please come home”, BUT they are shown as different people, with different interests, skills and relationships - with Cas for example, & not codependent. Again hammering this home in this episode. THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS.

C. THE RECURRING AND CONSISTENT NARRATIVE OF DESTIEL.

This whole episode is one big love fest. We went from one ‘wow I can’t believe they just did that!’ to the next to the next with hardly enough time for us to catch out breath! WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE?!

OK, so we have :

1. My Romeo & Juliet / Gaze up Trope Balcony Meta.

2. The Mixtape Meta, another EXPLICIT romantic trope by @drsilverfish.

3. The Dean “keep it” parallels, the first one that came to my mind was Arwen (another human+ / eternal being who decided to relinquish immortality couple):

Aragon: this belongs to you.
Arwen: keep it, it was a gift… it is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart.

But also all the other ‘gift’ tropes, the standard romantic trope that when a couple breaks up you return the gifts…. I think Cas wasn’t sure he was going to be forgiven, after Dean’s outburst in the war room, so he goes to return the cassette, but Dean does forgive him nearly instantaneously, which actually makes it even worse that he has to steal the colt straight after…

5. The difference between Sastiel and Destiel again emphasised, more and more this season. I don’t think I even have to detail this, just, basically the whole episode shows this.

6. This magnificent gifset by @magnificent-winged-beast which shows the difference between Dean’s angst at actually watching the colt get destroyed and the potential killing of Cas…

Slight aside - Performing!Dean. 

This magnificent gifset that shows Dean’s facade coming down, he doesn’t even attempt to make it sound less ‘gay’ when he tells Sam that Cas came to his room, played him and took the colt from his secret hiding place under his pillow, he even looks down before he says it like he KNOWS how it is going to sound but says it anyway. 

source: @yourfavoritedirector.

And Sam doesn’t even flinch. YES THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS!

4. SO…WHY is Dean still doing everything he did for Cas during this episode and still defending him to Sam even though he appeared pissed and Cas repeatedly betrayed him?

Well, in 12x12 Cas said “I love you”, clearly understood by Dean (and Sam to be directed at Dean). There was no real reciprocation though from Dean, other than Dean family-zoning him and Sam’s fantastic “we are doing this for you, Cas”. 

So regarding Dean, Cas is hurt and believes it isn’t reciprocated. Now Dean is pissed and still using the WE card at every turn, so what is a celestial being to do? Cas assumes this is the end, that there is no hope, he returns the mixed tape. BUT Dean says no keep it, this is NOT the end. 

Cas understands that this is therefore not the end, but it is complicated. He explains that he wanted to “come back with a win for you…. for myself”. He wants this for Dean and for himself, this is very important, everything he is doing now and in the future is NOT all about Dean, there is his own agency and morality involved here too.

For Cas, when it comes to it, he wants this reciprocation of his love of course, but right now he has bigger fish to fry and really he wants to protect Sam and Dean and save the world

Now, going back to the “what the hell is wrong with you man?” followed by an awkward silence…. and where Cas then goes to return the gift. Yes, Cas feels that he has said his piece in 12x12 and is rebuffed, but meanwhile Dean is struggling with what Cas has said and everything else that is going on. He has a lot on his plate, not only Cas but his own personal history, his deep seated issues that he is clearly working on this season (see all the performing!Dean facade crumbling meta going around), his issues around his mother, the BMoL, Lucifer, the nephilim…. I mean that is a lot for an emotionally healthy person let a lone DEAN WINCHESTER.

Dean is trying to say / show how he feels he’s just rubbish at it, but he’s getting better!

“We?” “Yes dumbass, WE.” This is his forgiveness. And it is betrayed just moments later. But does this stop him trusting Cas again? NO.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. For their dynamic, to show that they still do ultimately trust each other.

EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING DEAN STILL DEFENDS CAS TO SAM!

Oh, and I just need to add how desperate I am for Sam to turn to Dean soon and just say “No, Dean, this is between you and Cas, stop bringing me into this”. PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL BE GOOD! I mean, how repeated, consistent and out of place it was (I mean, not only to shippers, I think anyone would think it was out of place the way it was portrayed in their personal conversation in Dean’s room) - this has got to be addressed, no?!

 5. A better way

So. What does this mean moving forwards?

Well, firstly, I have moved from being 85% sure Destiel would be endgame to about 95% sure. Lets be real. This episode cements this. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.

So, what is the better way?

Overall, it seems that Dabb wants to move things forwards. And his key points all season are Free Will, breaking from past repressions and negative influences, moving forwards with what the characters choose and want for their endgame and for sure now endgame Destiel.

I have in the past speculated about quite a lot of stuff, some right and some… still to be seen and some not right, but the overall arc speculation that I saw foreshadowed since early season 12 is RIGHT ON TRACK.

Now, the question is will Dabb go backwards and go to the old, standard SPN ways where probably Dean and Cas will be separated, Cas will be wrong again in his trust in the nephilim - it WILL be evil (rehash of s6 and s8) and he will need to be ‘broken’ from the mind control by Dean in a stronger crypt scene etc etc etc.

Or will he move forwards, onto a “better way”? Will we get another s11 ‘happy ending’? Where it appears all good but there is still stuff going on behind the scenes for s13… Or maybe a not so happy ending but that ultimately will be resolved happily? 

Maybe the baby has it’s grace removed (so glad this is an option it was driving me insane that they hadn’t mentioned it by now!) OR it’s not evil at all! it’s the ANTI-anti-Christ, it chose Cas because he is Lucifer’s mirror in that he LOVES Humanity. I mean, the whole point of the show is agency, free will and not being forced to follow the result of your parentage / past ….especially this season with Sam and Dean’s arcs….

Maybe human!Cas, potential hunter Daddies, Cas staying at home calling Dean while he’s out on MOTW hunts with Sam being all “Dean there’s poop everywhere, I’m sorry it got on your favourite shirt, but please please come home this is so hard!” “OK babe, don’t worry, we’ll be back tomorrow, the case was a milk run!” when actually Dean nearly died and Sammy saved the day and…. etc because really? what are we supposed to think from that motel scene? With Cas smiling all cute and using the world “righteous” when talking about the kids future guardian?! (and Kelly survives if we are going to be extra nice).

Maybe Lucifer will die / be dealt with and it is the MoL that are the big bad next year…..aiding the overall future arc of TFW as leaders of the MoL/Hunter collaboration (Chuck I hope so).

Or will it be a mix of the two?

Well my money is on that it will be a mix….  

DABB IS SHOWING US THE FUTURE Y’ALL. AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

Originally posted by detesntthoughts

Taken For Granted (pt 7)

The day had finally come. Your three months were up! You woke up feeling more refreshed than ever and while you were going to miss the boys, you were happy to finally get the job done. Even better yet, the boys had a rather light schedule today, so you wouldn’t be too tired either. 

As you got to work, you were met with frowning faces as the got7 boys greeted you. The boys had gotten close to you rather quickly and you only realized now how much you were going to miss them. It’s not like you had many chances to see them again in the future, nor were you in any position to run into them either. For the rest of the day, your mood slowly got sadder as you realized that your time with the boys was coming to a close, but you tried to be as optimistic as you could. Soon, the boys’ schedule for the day had ended and you were all sitting on the car, on the way to get dinner. 

“Are you really leaving us?” asked Jackson. 

“Yah! I didn’t know you were leaving JYP altogether! Why’d we have to find out from someone else?” asked Jaebum. It’s not like you didn’t mean to tell them, you just had genuinely forgot.

“oops” you said as you giggled. “I think it’s time I leave the field and try something new!” you continued.

“Oh right! Namjoon and Jin Hyung were saying you might be into music composition? Don’t forget us when you’re famous!” said BamBam.

“Hey, nothing is set in stone. I don’t even think I’m that good, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot and see if I actually can make a living off of it” you said. 

“Hey, from what Jin hyung said, you’re really don’t have much to worry about, ok? Just try your best. If anything, you’ll always have a job here at JYP” said Jinyoung.

“Thank you, oppa” you said warmly. 

“Ok, well I really don’t plan on sulking around tonight and we promised you a great dinner, noona! Lets goo!” said Yugyeom, as the car parked into a rather fancy restaurant. 

You spent the remainder of the night talking and laughing with the boys and eventually, the night had come to an end as well. You drove with the boys back to their dorms and hugged each of them goodnight and goodbye, wishing them well.

“Keep in touch, Y/N, seriously. Don’t make us ask about you from the others!” Jackson said, crossing his arms and huffing.

“Yes yes, I’ll keep in touch. Don’t forget me when you get even more famous, boys!” You said, waving at them.

“YOU don’t forget US when you become a hit producer, ok?” asked Mark. 

You giggled and finally the boys finally made their way in. You sighed, realizing the job was now done. 

You finally got home, later than you were expecting, and wanted to just curl up in bed after showering. You didn’t know when to reach out to Jin, especially since they were still busy promoting as well, and you pondered these thoughts as you let the warm water slowly relax you. 

You didn’t feel tired anymore after showering, and so you decided to make some hot coco and curl up on the couch instead. You turned on the TV and decided you could have a marathon seeing as you had nothing to wake up early for anymore. You should be worried that you were now considered unemployed. But you were always smart with money and you had saved enough to live without working for at least a year. 

As the first episode started playing, you saw your phone vibrate on the coffee table and to your surprise, Jin had texted you. You smiled immediately after seeing his name. You realized that this was now becoming a common occurrence.

You couldn’t stop smiling, even as your conversation ended. You didn’t know what exactly you were excited for tomorrow. To see all the boys again? To learn more about music composition? Or were you most excited to see Jin? 


Meanwhile, Jin couldn’t stop smiling either. He had this smile on his face, and if you paid enough attention, you could even see a light blush on his cheeks as well. He was sitting in the dining table, along with Namjoon and Jimin and the boys were starting to take notice of their hyung’s weird behavior. 

“Hyung, why were you smiling at your phone this entire time?” asked Jimin.

“Oh, uh, nothing” Jin said, forcing himself to stop smiling. But then he thought back to your cute banter with him and he started to smile again.

“Look, there it is again. You have this stupid smile plastered on your face and it’s creeping me out, hyung!” Jimin said, pointing at his face.

“Hyung, he’s got a point” said Namjoon. He had a hunch of who Jin might have been texting, but he tried to push that thought out of his head. Nothing would ever happen between Jin and you, he thought. He just thought Jin always saw you as a cute younger sister. Nothing more, and nothing less. Boy, was he going to be in for a rude awakening. 

“It’s probably Y/N noona!” said Jungkook, emerging from somewhere. 

“How’d you know?” asked Jin, surprised. 

“Yugyeom told me that you two have been flirting back and forth recently? Like apparently our hyung even winked at her?? Eww hyung, she’s my noona” Jungkook said, jokingly.

“Yah, she’s not your real sister. And what I do with her is not your business?” he says back. 

“Wait seriously hyung?? I thought Yugyeom was just joking” said Jungkook, genuinely surprised. 

“NOOOOO” the boys all heard from the living room. “Y/N IS MINE!” Taehyung yelled. 

“Yah, shut up, the neighbors will complain!” said Yoongi. They could hear the frustration in his voice. 

“Wait, hyung, are you seriously dating Y/N??” asked Hobi, also coming out from the living room.

“I’m..I’m not dating her.” Jin said, rather sadly. He had liked you ever since he had first met you and he always seemed to disregard his feelings, always saying it was just a small crush. But over the years, his crush had turned to full-fledged feelings and he couldn’t ignore his feelings anymore. But then it seemed like you were interested in Namjoon, and it discouraged him from confessing. If anything, he teased you about your feelings for Namjoon and though his heart hurt, he couldn’t do much else. Though you always denied your feelings for Namjoon, Jin knew that there must be something there. 

So when you suddenly stopped looking at Namjoon the way you did, he jumped at the opportunity. Maybe he should have figured what went on between you two, but he decided to chase his own happiness for once. And look how well it was going. 

Maybe he was lying to himself, but he swore that you two were just flirting over chat. It wasn’t like the usual banter that you two had. And the way you would look at him when you ran into him over the last few weeks made his heart skip a beat. And when you blushed when he had winked at you, he almost knew for sure that he was going to confess this time around. 

“But you two are flirting?” Jimin said. Jin turned to face Jimin who now had his phone and was reading through his messages with you.

“Give that back!” Jin said, trying to reach for his phone, but before he knew it, Jimin took off from the table and began reading his messages out loud so the al the boys could read. 

Jin tried to chase Jimin and silence him, but it was no good. Soon, the entire conversation was read and Jin’s face was almost beet red. 

“Omg, and she’s flirting back!” Jungkook said. “I didn’t know she felt that way about hyung!” said Jungkook. 

“NOO I thought I had a chance with Y/N!” said Tae, pretending to pout. Yoongi smacked the back of his head. 

“Yah, Jimin, give the phone back to hyung. You don’t get to read his messages out loud. They’re personal” Yoongi said, all serious. Jimin pouted and handed Jin back his phone.

“Thank you, Yoongi!” Jin said, happy that someone was on his side.

“So…when are you going to ask her out?” Yoongi continued. 

“YAH not you too!” Jin exclaimed. Yoongi just laughed to himself. 

“Well, I personally think you guys would make a nice couple” said Hoseok. Jin’s face turned even more red than before. 

“Awh, look at hyung blushing!” Said Jungkook, poking at Jin’s cheeks. 

“As long as you guys don’t interfere, things will be fine!” Jin said, finally standing up and walking to his room. But what Hobi had said rang in his ears. “Me and Y/N finally a couple? Wahhh” Jin said to himself silently. 

Jin finally went to sleep with thoughts of you in his head. And how excited he was to see you tomorrow. 


Namjoon meanwhile just sat there and watched everything unfold and he didn’t like it one bit. He stayed quiet and none of the boys really seemed to notice. When Jin had told him that he wanted him to help him help you with music production, Namjoon thought it would have been the perfect chance to finally get to know you better and make things right. Hopefully it would have led to something more. 

But he should have known that your feelings for him were long gone. But that didn’t mean he had to stop trying?

And if you really did have feelings for him before, who was to say they were completely gone? He just had to reignite them. What you were feeling for Jin was just some puppy love, he thought. 

He knew he shouldn’t come in the way of his hyung’s happiness, but what about himself? He knew that someone was going to get hurt in this process, but he was going to try his best to make sure that things would end up ok.


A/N: I think the plot is going to be moving a lot faster after this part. I can see this series also ending at part 10. Look forward to it! 

Previous parts: Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Happy Birthdays

Characters: Y/N Ackles, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Conan O’Brien

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: None really - just J2 being J2.   

Word Count: 1300ish

A/N: So not a planned fic but after I saw the Conan interview this idea have been haunting me.

I stole bits of the interview that would fit my story, but disregarded some of it cause in this story Jensen isn’t have has never been married to Danneel, therefore no JJ. No hate what so ever against Jensen or his beautiful family. This is only fiction and let’s just assume the amazing Danneel Harris is happy with someone else.

Thanks to @torn-and-frayed for being awesome and betaing this for me last minute.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You couldn’t have been more excited for your husband. He had literally been buzzing for days previous to this interview. It had been a long time since he had been on a show like this and Conan was one of his all time favorites. You couldn’t have been more proud of him as you sat in the front row with Gen waiting for your husbands to take the stage.

You smiled, applauding the boys along with Gen and the rest of the audience when they took the stage. Jensen looked so confident and relaxed, which made you even prouder. Jensen hadn’t always been this relaxed in front of a big audience. When you had first met, this would have terrified him and you would probably have been backstage trying to calm him and take his mind off what was about to happen rather than sitting, smiling and waving at him in your chair next to your best friend. Jensen had grown immensely and you had been at his side every step of the way. First as his friend, then girlfriend and for the past few years, his wife. You loved him more than you had ever thought possible to love another human being and he made you proud every day.

Keep reading

4

Starfleet’s moral relativism problem: is it ever ok to condemn another culture?

Central to all of Star Trek has always been the Prime Directive – that set of rules that governs our intrepid space explorers from Captain Kirk to Captain Janeway and everyone in between. Poor Captain Archer existed in a time before, and I’ve often pitied him for having to shoulder the burden of having to make some really questionable ethical decisions without having a Prime Directive to shift the blame to when it turned out his decisions really sucked.

At its core, the Prime Directive dictates that Starfleet cannot interfere with the internal affairs or development of alien civilizations. Some of the best Star Trek episodes involved our heroes clashing with the ethics of a rigid application of this doctrine, but there was always one implication of the Prime Directive that bothered me – the idea that we shouldn’t judge other cultures through the lens of our own because who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong?

This philosophy of moral relativism argues that there are no universal moral standards – sentient beings are completely at the mercy of their own societies to impart a code of moral behavior and whatever it comes up with is “good enough.” There may be common themes among many societies in terms of morals – most seem to agree it is wrong to commit murder, for instance – but ultimately, what is “right” according one society is not guaranteed to be “right” for another. And let’s be honest with ourselves – even with the topic of murder, we still fiercely debate exceptions to the “no murder” rule such as war, capital punishment, or self-defense.

Our own society provides an incredible patchwork of thorny moral and ethical issues that we still have yet to decide upon. We debate things like abortion, torture, slavery, free speech, and more. We probe these issues by asking ourselves questions like, “At what point does life truly begin?” and “Is torture ever justified?” We explore them by posing philosophical experiments like the Trolley Problem and asking ourselves whether it is morally acceptable to kill one person to save the lives of two or more others. 

How does that line go again? Something about “needs of the many” or something? 

But at the end of the day, might (in terms of numbers) makes right in moral relativism. While I don’t subscribe to that theory, there are times when our beloved Star Trek characters do under the guise of defending the Prime Directive. On the surface, it sounds very peaceful and anti-colonialist. After centuries of watching many empires from the Romans to the British set fire to cultural diversity – and given arguments that many Western nations continue to do this today, just without being quite as invadey – this sounds like a nice change of pace. Live and let live. But this also creates a mind-boggling acceptance of suffering, genocide, exploitation, and oppression within Starfleet.

One of the first chronological examples of the faults of moral relativism is found in the Star Trek: Enterprise episode, “Cogenitor.” Archer and his crew meet an affable, three-gendered species called the Vissians, but we quickly learn that only two of the society’s genders have any real rights. The third gender is referred to as a “cogenitor,” and Trip Tucker ends up on Captain Archer’s shit list for teaching it how to read and putting ideas in its head. When the cogenitor later begs for asylum, Archer refuses. It gets worse – the cogenitor is sent back to the people who basically treat it as chattel and commits suicide, and Archer points out that Tucker’s interference led to its death and will mean the Vissian couple will probably never get to have a child. No winners in this ethical dilemma of an episode, only losers. Until you remember none of this would have happened in the first place if the Vissians had just treated the cogenitors like people.

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, “Angel One,” we encounter the cringe worthy society of Angel I, a planet of misandric women who oppress men. We all got a few giggles at the ladies of Enterprise-D being suddenly held in higher regard than their male counterparts, but things get very dark when Beata, the Elected One of Angel I, decides some dudes need to die for spreading heretical teachings that imply men are equal to women. We get a sort of cop out solution in which Beata has a change of heart and decides to banish rather than execute these “heretics” after Riker makes an impassioned speech about basic rights, but Riker was more than willing to let things go bad if need be, because, “The Prime Directive” and “Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

The 80′s were a weird time. That outfit is a few inches of fabric away from having a codpiece.

In another Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, “Symbiosis,” we’re introduced to the Ornarans and Brekkians and we find out that after an ancient plague, the Brekkians started peddling an expensive and addictive drug to the Ornarans and calling it a “treatment.” There’s no plague anymore – the Brekkians just control the Ornarans through their drug addiction. Dr. Crusher finds a way to synthesize this drug and offers to help wean the Ornarans off their addiction, but what does Captain Picard do? He tells her to mind her own damn business because it’s not the Federation’s place to tell the Brekkians that it’s wrong to deceive and enslave the Ornarans through an addictive drug.

This episode also gave us one of the weirdest brawls in Star Trek history. Like a Reefer Madness for the 24th century, if you will. 

And this is the most uncomfortable part of moral relativism – who gets to draw the line and where do we draw it? On one end of the spectrum, we have moral relativism which claims anything goes – societies should be able to torture animals, employ the slave labor of children, and oppress women as they see fit – just as long as enough people agree it isn’t wrong to do so. At the other end of the spectrum sits moral absolutism, a theoretical construct that would result in a perfectly unified, homogenous culture, but one that would also strip away many facets of culture that lead to human diversity. 

If Star Trek is supposed to serve as a guide for how we might become a more progressive society, it does a terrible job a lot of the time. Now, there are many instances of our protagonists saying “to hell with the Prime Directive!” and taking what most of us would agree is the more morally praiseworthy route. But there’s no rhyme or reason to it. Just look at how they treat the Borg. Why is it ok to let some societies oppress men or drug another species into submission but it’s not ok to let the Borg assimilate the galaxy in their ultimate quest for perfection? 

I’m going to guess the answer is that until the Borg decided to stick nanoprobes in a Federation citizen, the cheerful little robots simply weren’t the Federation’s problem. We might argue that the Prime Directive certainly has provisions for self-defense - how ridiculous would it be to consent to being annihilated or assimilated just because the Federation is afraid of offending another culture and refuses to draw a line in the sand where right stops and wrong starts? The slope gets slippery here though. We could say this mirrors the concept of large Western nations trying to police the rest of the world and impose their customs on other societies - but how many of us watched documentaries about the Holocaust in school and wondered why the hell previous generations allowed shit to get that bad? How many of us continue to stand by while people in Iraq and Syria live under the threat of the Islamic State? I doubt most people even realize what’s going on in the Philippines or Venezuela right now because hey, “Not my country, not my problem.” It is a huge gray area for what constitutes forcing certain customs on unwilling societies and trying to genuinely help people, but if we can’t agree that Nazi extermination camps and religiously motivated beheadings are bad and need to stop (even when they aren’t happening to us personally), I’ll be surprised if we ever make to the 24th century. It makes me wonder how exactly Earth “solved its problems” and created a utopian society in the first place with this attitude of moral relativism.

Let’s face it – we have no shortage of modern travesties that sound ridiculous in the context of this philosophical approach. The Chechen Republic has been reportedly rounding up gay men and torturing them in recent months, and moral relativism would have us shrug and say, “But their culture says homosexuality is a sin.” 

To anyone who actually thinks that, fuck you. 

Bacha bazi, a practice where adolescent boys are groomed for sexual relationships with older men, remains pervasive in many Pashtun societies. Moral relativism would tell us that we shouldn’t condemn predatory pedophilia because to do so would mean unfairly imposing our Western beliefs on their culture. 

Just because one culture says widespread sexual coercion is ok doesn’t make it so. 

I could keep going on, but this post is already long enough. The bottom line is, all too often, Star Trek lazily glosses over a lot of moral and ethical dilemmas by using the argument, “Who are we to judge?” June is Pride Month, and in honor of LGBT individuals all over the globe who all too often have less rights than their cisgender heterosexual counterparts, maybe we should avoid looking to the “progressive” future of Star Trek and instead ask the question, “Who are we to not judge?” 

While I can’t resolve one of the greatest philosophical questions ever devised, someone once gave me a great piece of advice that I think applies to this idea of moral relativism: no person’s belief is inherently worthy of respect, but every person is. 

honestly, i just can’t get over monty’s scene in 4x02 where he frees the people instead of killing the ice nation warrior. his actions are so tied together with what we know about his father in that moment - with such a surprising outcome - that i can’t help myself but literally scream and declare my undying love for my stormcloud and hero - because that is what he is to me, lets be real.

like, remember when hannah and pike told him about his father in 3x02?:

Monty: I need to know what happened.

Hannah: Monty…

Monty: Please.

Hannah: We landed in the snow. Your father said it absorbed some of the impact. That’s why we survived. The snow looked so beautiful, it… Charles?

Pike: The children were playing in it. They were the first to die… 15 of them. If not for your father, would’ve been more. He pulled 4 kids back into the ship, all 4 alive today. They got him when he went back for the fifth. Your father died a hero, Monty.

when monty is confronted with the person who killed his father in 4x02 and bryan tells him that this is his kill (suggesting revenge) we see bellamy tell him that he doesn’t have to do this, because monty is thrust into a corner in which he has to make a rather hard decision - one that is not just gonna affect him, but will also affect the people around him. but then monty says “yeah i do”, and all initial thoughts are cracked open and pushed into another direction.

i get chills every time now, because i know he is going to use the axe to break the chains (three strong hits) and free the slaves. and just, i’m so aware of how much that action contrasts his first choice. to take the hydro generator and leave farm station without saving the 25 people and sacrifice them for the greater good? that decision is juxtaposed the second he uses the axe, a tool that is so drastically associated with violence and death, to free the people.

and it gets even wilder:

he literally gives riley a nod that says “this is your kill”.

and they do. they attack the ice nation warrior and kill him with their bare hands (what a crazy way to put emphasis on the fact that the slaves can use their hands now btw. while the axe, a deathly tool, frees them from the chains around their wrists, we also see that once they get to freedom, they get to use it to kill someone). and i know, people like to mention how monty indirectly gets his revenge through the 25 people, but i think the greater part of all this is that he is actually (partly) coming out as a hero, just like pike told him his father were. conflicted yes, but also willing to finish what they have started.

it’s an act (decision) that sits heavily on his shoulders, one he never had the chance to even remotely prepare himself for, unlike with the hydro generator, but this was a big moment for him, especially as a person, nonetheless.

he can be so hauntingly calculating during missions, but then he can also be ready for other dramatic shifts that highlight the kindred spirit that he is. i really wonder how this experience will affect him personally and his mindset over the course of the show tbh, considering that they couldn’t bring home the one thing they went to farm station for, but still got to save lifes. there is a reason the writers played with two choices and it’s exciting as much as it is unsettling. it’s clear that he is going to have to make more hard decisions in the future…

anyway. i’m rambling but god, the stakes are truly higher than ever before. i don’t think i’m ready for this season after all lmao.

Searingly Sweet (Marichat/Adrienette)

What do you do when one of paris’ most superlatively handsome heros comes knocking on your balcony door? You would panic first, right? Like, what does he want; why is he here; should I prepare something? Any and all those thoughts might run through your head I’m guessing. But what does Marinette Dupain-Cheng do when a certain leather-clad feline comes a knocking?

She gets pissed…cause duh, right?

And it wasn’t even like she was pissed at him exactly. It was more just that he happened to appear at the apex of her shitty day. Every single client the 23 year old had that afternoon was completely and utterly shitty human beings. And she gets it, a lot of schools in the area were picking up the american custom of having end of the year dances, for socializing and shit. But if she had to hear another shitty 17 year old complain about how the applique on her dress doesn’t absolutely “shimmer” in the moonlight and how the dress doesn’t make her ASS look like that american rapper Nicki Minaj’s (Which by the way if you’re gonna use french in your stage name PICK A REAL FRENCH WORD). She was ACTUALLY going to cut someone.

So it wasn’t his fault that he happened to knock on the balcony door to her apartment. Also wasn’t his fault that she happened to be in the middle of her 3rd alteration of the SAME dress at the time. But that didn’t stop her from viciously slamming open her door, rage blazing in her eyes.

“WHAT?” She roared

Her attitude instantly vanished, however, as Chat Noir collapsed into her arms. She grabbed onto his waist to keep him upright but his harsh hiss kept her hands at bay. She felt a wetness on her hand, it wasn’t raining out so it couldn’t be good. She looked down and sure enough Chat had contracted a sizeable cut above his hip and in different places along his torso.

“Holy shit!” was all she could really comment “Adrien, what happened!?”

They had long since found out each other’s identity. 21st birthdays mixed with intimate truth or dare and too many margaritas will do that kind of thing to you. But the lucky part was that nothing ever really changed for them. If anything, it made their civilian lives that much easier. Now, if anything went wrong they knew exactly where to go for safety.

Guess this was one of those times huh?

“Mari” Chat groaned out pitifully, body slumped over her petite frame

She didn’t allow him to say anything else as she carefully helped him onto the couch. She laid him down gently and rushed to get a bowl and some cool water. Returning back he didn’t look too good, hair matted from sweat and eyes squeezed shut in pain. She gingerly picked up his head and laid it in her lap. She pressed the wet cloth to his biggest cut and pressed down, shushing him softly to soothe his pain.

She looked into his eyes for an explanation “What happened? Was it a really bad akuma?”. Her heart only sank as he remained silent.

“Oh god it was, wasn’t it? Fuck, if I wasn’t so swamped with work I could’ve been there for you. You wouldn’t be like this. Adrien I’m so sorry” He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek. A gentle smile graced his features and she felt like bursting into tears that very moment.

“Please don’t cry, Mari” He said, his voice warmer than a summer’s breeze “I didn’t lose to an akuma. Just to a very old cat and a very sturdy tree.”

At first it didn’t click, she was far too wrapped up in her guilt ridden emotions. But then, ever so slowly, the words sunk in further and further

“Could you say that again for me please?” She said a little too sweetly “I just want to make sure I heard you correctly”

“Oh! I just said that these cuts are from me saving a pretty old cat from a tree” He scratched his head bashfully “old beast was not too appreciative and scratched me up pretty good and the tree kinda finished the job”

She stood up abruptly, knocking chat off the couch and onto the floor.

“Noooo” Chat whined as she stormed off “Don’t leave me here to perish in the cold!”

A blanket, quite unceremoniously, pelted him in the face “BUNDLE UP BITCH”

“Someone’s got their chiffon in a knot” He pouted “what? You missed your monthly ‘designer’s digest’ issue?”

Marinette sat back on the couch wordlessly, only speaking to ask him to drop his transformation so she could patch him up. Her speech was so…professional that he dropped it immediately, worried that he might’ve pushed her buttons a little too hard.

“Hey Mari, you know I was only kidding right?” this silent treatment was a bit of a first for him, he hadn’t meant to offend her, only poke at her a little “I didn’t mean all that stuff I said. I really am sorry”

He tried putting on his best sad face, nudging his head into her in the hopes that it’d melt her heart enough to forgive him. She sighed and put his head back into her lap.

“I’m not mad chat.” She said, preparing a disinfectant cloth “there’d be no point in that”

He breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t totally convinced but at least she wasn’t gonna kick him out of the house

“That being said, you tear up the shirt I made you. Sooooo, you deserve this entirely”

Adrien’s eyes shot open wide as a stinging, searing pain shot through his whole side. He moved to shoot up in his seat but, surprisingly, Marinette was pretty strong and held him down, giggling the entire time. A disinfectant cloth slapped to the cut would teach him a lesson or two

“OH MY GOD THAT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD” he howled out

“I know right? You must be so sorry for playing with my emotions and tearing up that shirt aren’t you?”

“I WAS ATTACKED!?!? GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!”

“That’s interesting cause, see, that doesn’t sound like an ‘I’m sorry’ to me”

“YOU ARE SADISTIC”

“And you’re still screaming. I do have neighbors you know”

Adrien gritted his teeth as he tried to bear the burning sensation traveling all through his body “I’m sorry for tearing up the shirt and playing with your emotions even though I did nothing of the sort

She pressed down on the cut harder

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY YOU’RE RIGHT ENTIRELY MY FAULT. PLEASE SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST LET GO!”

She took pity on his poor soul and finally released him. He rolled back onto the floor and scattered away behind her curtains

“I COULD HAVE DIED YOU PSYCHO”

Marinette was hardly perturbed “1.) I checked the bottle before-hand it was gonna sting regardless of what I did and 2.) you still have like 8 more lives, you’re fine”

Adrien was now in full pout mode “I’m not an actual cat you know. The american phrase ‘YOLO’ does actually apply to me”

“You’re so dramatic” she laughed. Scooting over on the furthest side of the couch, she stretched out her arms to lure him back to the sofa. He turned from her, refusing to even acknowledge her offer.

“Oh come on, kitty. I still have to wrap up your other cuts before they get infected”

He wrapped the curtains further up on his body “Better than dying from the shock of the pain!”

She rolled her eyes “I promise I’ll be gentler this time. And, I’ll make sure to tell you when the sting is coming”

He eyed her cautiously, coming out from behind the curtains and inching closer “I want free cuddles the rest of the night”

She sighed “fine, whatever you want”. It was like telling him he’d won the lotto, his perfect white teeth gleaming in a cheshire like grin. Adrien tossed himself on the couch, instantly slipping up her body and snuggling closely to her chest.

“You are so unbelievably spoiled you know”

“You know I think I can still feel the pain of the disinfectant. I wonder why?”

She laughed warmly and let him stay there for a while.

There was no way to really describe the relationship they had. On the one hand they were definitely friends; they had the occasional coffee meet-up with Alya and Nino, popped in on one another if they had a bad day and, duh, saved one another from certain death every now and again. They could go out and see other people, sure, but then they did things like this. Cuddle times where they just stayed silent and share body heat, sleeping in the same bed because one couldn’t be bothered to stay up enough to make the trek home, and even spending whole weekends just vegging out at home watching Totally Spies reruns on TV. It was a weird set up but if you asked Marinette if she would change anything, not a single second would be unmissed.

“Ok mon minou, let’s get you patched up before I have to clean your blood off my couch…again”

He begrudgingly agreed and left her warm hold, sitting with legs crossed and patiently awaited her medical care. She returned back with her famous “Chat almost died today” first aid kit and something thin and white sticking out from between her lips. It caught the blonde’s attention and his feline instincts began to flare up again. Nevertheless, he sat still,only moving to remove his shirt and give her space to wrap his body in bandages.

“There, all done” She said, ever so slightly proud of her work “You were a very good patient this time around kitty. Usually you’re so squirmish”

Even as she scritched his favorite spot behind his ear adrien still couldn’t get his mind off of whatever was occupying his lady’s mouth

“Uh Adrien? You ok?” She said waving a hand in front of his eyes. He blinked back to reality and smiled apologetically

“Sorry Mari guess I’m a little distracted” He laughed nervously. She shrugged it off as no big deal and left to warm up some leftovers for him.

Adrien watched her with childlike curiosity, he didn’t wanna be a real bother to her but it killed him not knowing what it was that was in her mouth. Even still, he hesitated on bringing it up, choosing instead to stuff his face with honey mustard glazed chicken and pasta.

It was maybe 20 minutes into their third episode when Adrien just stretched himself out flat onto her lap. She remarked on his keen ability to make “make himself at home” but it only went in one ear and out another as he watched her cheek poke out with the offending object.

He poked it

She switched it to the other side

He poked it again

She sat it in the middle while looking at him with a strange look on her face

He didn’t even notice as his long fingers kept poking around her face, expecting to flush it out from behind her lips

“Adrien!” She commanded, swatting his hands away “Will you please stop tha-”

“My lady, what is in your mouth?”

The question came out so abruptly that it caught her completely by surprise. She blinked confusedly at him. There was not a hint of joking attitude in his eyes so she took it out.

“It’s just a lollipop. See?” she placed it back over her tongue, sucking on it hard “Nothing special. Cherry flavor I think”

Adrien didn’t exactly know what to feel. Yes, he got the answer he’d been looking for but, at the same time, a cherry lollipop? Really?

“Why didn’t you say you got one?” He fussed

“Why do you care? Kitty, it’s just candy”

He didn’t really have a witty retort to that so he kept silent, rolling over in her lap and facing the TV. Marinette assumed he’d finally gave up so she settled back in her seat.

“I want one”

She groaned, rubbing her temples soothingly

“No, Kitty you may not have one”

Adrien poked out his bottom lip “Why not, you have one”

“Ok, And?”

“Where do you keep them?”

“If I told you that it wouldn’t be a secret stash would it?”

He almost took offense to that “Why would you keep it a secret from me? Do you not trust me?”

“To not eat all my candy without me knowing? No”

“I’d replace it”

“Adrien the last time you ‘replaced’ my candy stash it ended up being more expensive than my rent”

He pulled her into a face squishing hug “Maaari let me have one”

She struggled to push away him away, he was stupidly strong when he wants something “No dammit let me go!”

Adrien finally released her and suddenly stood up. If she didn’t know any better she would’ve assumed that she got the hint. But, sadly, she did and, without remorse, glared him down.

“Chaton, don’t you fucking dare”

He shot out of the living room and into the bedroom down the hall. She chased after him, knowing exactly where he was going and for what. Just as she suspected, Adrien was making quick work of her room, sifting between the sheets and crawling beneath the bed.

“Quit it you fucking sugar addict!”

“Let me have my fix and I will!”

“No!”

“Then the hunt continues!”

Her room was becoming an utter mess. Clothes were being tossed everywhere, it was like a horror movie. She forced him into a corner to maybe try and talk things out somewhat civilly but the blonde bastard just carefully scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed, breaking out from the corner to just fuck up her room even more.

They were on the floor now, huffing and wheezing as they tried to catch their breath. Adrien looked everywhere, the sheets, under the bed, in the closet. He even took the ultimate risk and went through her drawers (The kick to his gut proved that that wasn’t too good of an idea). But still no sweets for a little blonde boy named Adrien

“Please tell me you quit” She huffed out

“It’s not fair” he whined “all I wanted was something sweet”

“I just fed you”

“Dessert is an important part of every meal”

He clambered up onto his feet and stumbled back, knocking into the wall behind him. There was a clamor from the top of Marinette’s closet. She prayed that he didn’t hear it….it was a stupid prayer let’s be real here.

“Hey Marinette”

“Yes Adrien”

“What’s in your closet”

“You looked in there yourself…nothing”

She didn’t dare move from the floor as he stared her down

“If I go over there right this very second, you’re not gonna move”

“I see no reason to do so”

The millisecond he moved toward that closet door she raced in between him and the doorway. A dark smile stretched across his lips. He moved in close and she could hear his heartbeat in her ears. He leaned down, his breath tickling her ears.

His voice made her knees weak “It’s in there, isn’t it my lady”

She sucked on her cherry blowpop harder and harder as she shook her head vigorously

“Then what did I hear in the closet. If it’s not what I’m looking for then what’s there to worry about?”

Her eyes looked everywhere but his own vibrant green ones. He knew what that tone of voice did to her and did it anyway.

Adrien snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the door. His stares were so paralyzing she couldn’t say that she even noticed. They walked over to the bed and gently pushed her onto its soft sheets. He climbed atop of her, smoothing his hands across her skin

“Be a good girl and stay here, ok?”

This man could’ve told her to commit murder and all she’d need was a spoon and a name

He moved back over to the closet and rooted around its dark shelves. Eventually he noticed that the side wall was uneven. Sure enough, when he pressed down on it the panel fell away to a secret hole in the wall, complete with its own neatly painted shoe box.

“Hello my sweet”

He was a kitten on christmas coming out from that closet. Pressed close to his chest the box clearly said ‘Keep out, especially you kitty!” but he couldn’t care less, soon he would indulge himself in a sugar sweet paradise.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, THIEF”

Or at least he would if she didn’t break out of her lust induced trance

He bolted out of the room, eyes darting left and right for any kind of hiding space. Alas, it was no use. Marinette had him stuck in the kitchen corner with nowhere left to run. She took a cautious step toward him and he grabbed the first thing he could, a deluxe chocolate bar that she’d been saving for a super shitty day

Much like this one actually

“S-stop! Kitty, just leave the box on the counter”

“Fine! I’ll just take the chocolate bar then”

“THE CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!”

He tore off the label, never once taking his eyes off hers

“Put it. Down”

A corner of the aluminum wrapping hit the floor and her mind went into a blind panic. He was really gonna eat it if she didn’t come up with something!

He opened his mouth comically wide and brought it to his teeth

‘ThinkThinkThinkThinkThink!’

And as he brought his teeth closer together for bite she decided that she had no choice

Marinette ripped the candy from her mouth and pressed her body roughly against his, grabbing a fistful of his hair and bringing their lips together.

That alone would be seared into his subconscious for the rest of his life but what followed would follow him for as long as time stood.

Cherries, the syrupy sweet taste of artificial cherries flooded his tastebuds as her tongue slipped between his lips and into every corner of his mouth. His mind couldn’t take it to the point where he just dropped the box in his hands altogether, grabbing tightly onto her hips and savoring the flavor as much as he could.

But as soon as it started, it ended. She backed away from him, face redder than the candy in her hand.

“Never touch my stash again”

He tried to speak but she shoved the red sucker into his cheeks

“And I’m sure you’ve probably earned that”

She gathered up her box and walked out the kitchen, grumbling something about ‘Stupid cats’ and ‘putting it in a safe next time’

Adrien’s favorite flavor used to be chocolate

He was fairly certain that’s not the case anymore.

William’s feelings towards Grell

These thoughts came to my mind after listening to Kuroshitsuji Web Radio and I would really like to share them with others. I really hope that my English isn’t bad and this post would be understandable (English isn’t my native language and I’m still learning it xD). Also I’m a Grelliam shipper, so forgive me please if someone ships the other pairing and sees no affection between William and Grell. In my opinion, every pairing with our red-haired princess is awesome! 

I believe, there is no need to speak about Grell’s feelings towards him, ‘cause Toboso-san confirmed, that William is the main Grell’s passion, while Sebastian is just an idol. So, let’s speak about William, he’s pretty interesting and unclear character, ‘cause he is the person who doesn’t show his emotions at all.

Anyway, Grell is the only one who wakes the emotions up inside Will. We just need to remember that smile from the OVA, when Grell called him by his name for the first time. And this name was «Will», not «William», what also makes sense. It is clear that Will dislikes shortened names (because of that he calls everyone by the full name and surname), but Grell is the only one who can call him «Will» and William doesn’t mind at all. I believe, he even likes it somehow.

Grell is allowed to enter Will’s personal space. In the 5th episode of Book of Circus William forbade Ciel and Sebastian to go closer to him and blamed Ciel for entering his territory for a 3 centimeter long. At the same time Grell can hug William in front of other people and he says nothing about it. It can be because of his calmness, but I believe, that here is another reason. For example, Sebastian calls Grell’s flirt «revolting», but it’s just a flirt. But for William Grell shows real love and intention of physical connection and William doesn’t even say a single rude word about it. Grell’s attention isn’t «revolting» for him, it’s just very annoying, ‘cause Grell is a very loud and energetic reaper, who causes lots of problems and can even tire others.

I don’t believe that William is a very rude and sadistic person in fact. We should remember that he is a boss and Grell is just his subordinate (very incompetent, lazy and emotional subordinate). Actually it would be a shame, if everyone knows that the face of the management division is in relationship with such awful subordinate, who is physically a man, what will cause even bigger shock among other reapers. That’s the reason why Will has to behave that way just to save his reputation. Also let’s notice that he kicks Sutcliff only for the time when Grell starts speaking about feelings towards him. Will just has to kick, because it’s the only way to make Sutcliff silent and not allow everybody to realize about their relationship. 

William always helps Grell with work, which is not his actually. He works overtime, but when Grell is in a trouble or needs help with collecting the souls, then William will help with it. I believe, it shows Will as a very close friend or even as a beloved one to Grell, because rude and sadistic boss won’t help you with your job, but Will helps and does it every time.

The way how Ronald jokes about Will’s relationship with his subordinate. In 10th episode of Book of Circus Ronald points out, that Will is angry because of meeting him, while Grell went to the Phantomhive’s mansion. Also in Kuroshitsuji Web Radio he says «Spears-senpai and Grell-senpai have a good relationship». Then he mentions that he can have a talk with William only about weather and Grell-senpai, but about weather Will is not talkative and he also can’t follow the discussion about girls. And Ronald notices that Will doesn’t care about the web program, but came to it with Grell to support his subordinate. Actually, Ronald just behave as their shipper. xDDD

Will watches after Grell’s words. It’s just cute how he hits Sutcliff’s head in 18th episode. It’s like the behavior of husband, who just doesn’t want his beloved to be an unintelligent reaper who knows nothing about Undertaker’s personality.

William started taking care after his glasses and speaking about it only after Grell’s request. Is he following the words of his beloved for 100 years? It’s pretty loyal.

William’s hate towards Sebastian. Could it be jealousy? Well, actually I’m not sure about that, but William hates Sebastian the most and sometimes I think that this is because of Grell’s attention to that demon. So, if there would be no Sebastian, Grell stops follow him and… starts working well. Yes, William is dreaming about that with the bottom of his heart.

And that look of William. His gaze becomes warmer and softer when he is looking at Grell and I think this says the most about his feelings towards his subordinate.

To say it simple, Grell just makes William emotional and alive, what is impermissible for reapers. They are forbidden to have feelings, because it can cause problems to their responsible work. So, I just believe that William is in love with Grell too, but has no possibility to admit it. If Will admits his feelings, he becomes weak in front of others reapers, so he must be unemotional to do his job professionally as a leader.

Well, I suppose that’s all the points that came to my mind today. This post turned out to be even bigger than I had thought, but I really hope that you enjoyed it while reading!

Have a nice day and thanks for reading and your attention!  (≧▽≦)

PSA: Mass Effect & PTSD

Hey guys!

I’m here today to talk about one of my favorite things….and one of my least favorite things. Both have a pretty big effect (heh) on my life. 

Mass Effect is probably my top video game of all time. FemShep is one of my top characters in any medium. You know why? She suffers from the same mental illness I do and she STILL saves the galaxy. She doesn’t give up. It’s really inspiring. I’m proud of Bioware for showing the human side of her, especially in ME3. We get to see her crumble a little, and we get to see her deal with her symptoms in ways I imagine a lot of soldiers do. (My PTSD isn’t combat related, but I do have several close friends and family members with combat, and non-combat PTSD.)

It’s also super awesome that you guys are writing about PTSD in your fanfics! I love that fans are willing to explore that part of Shepard’s story. With everything Shepard has been through (regardless of their origin story), it makes sense that it would have an effect on them, no?

But I also think we can do better. Here’s some things to keep in mind: 

1) PTSD is more than just nightmares. This trope is understandable, as this is the symptom Mass Effect features throughout the third game. Don’t get me wrong– a lot of people with PTSD suffer from nightmares, but there are more symptoms than just that. Nightmares are actually kind of rare for me. Other symptoms include, but are not limited to: shaking, muscle tension, trouble communicating (unable to form complete words, phrases, or sentences), flashbacks of the event, avoidance behaviors (isolating yourself or avoiding certain people or places connected to the event, or having trouble forming relationships in general), nausea, loss of appetite, dry-heaving, and hyperventilating (feeling like you can’t breathe.) The last one especially would be difficult for Shepard, as you know…they died by suffocating in space. 

2) Post Traumatic nightmares vary person to person. When I do have them, they aren’t always directly connected to the traumatic event. Maybe it’s just the way my brain works. My dreams tend to take on more symbolic forms based on my underlying feelings surrounding my mental illness. (This week they have all had themes around my inability to communicate or feeling trapped in my situation.) The way I tell the difference between a regular nightmare and a post traumatic one is how I feel afterwards. Post traumatic nightmares leave me feeling wide awake and unable to fall back asleep. They’re harder to wake up from (I lucid dream a lot.)

3) Post Traumatic episodes are EXHAUSTING. This is probably the most misunderstood thing in Mass Effect fanfiction. I see it a lot. You know, Shep has a fucked up day, they lose a dear friend and/or nearly dies, and/or something they experience brings up trauma from their past. Their love interest finds them and they bang. Everything is a–okay. WHAT!? During a post traumatic episode, your body is on high alert. You’re experiencing the purest forms of fight or flight. Your heart is racing. Your adrenaline is up. All your muscles are tensed up and ready to run away or fight for your life. You have tunnel vision. Keep in mind this can happen at any point after the event, and often in contexts that are only mildly stressful to the every day person. Your mind/body isn’t concerned with what happens afterward, only that you survive what it thinks is danger. You probably aren’t going to be up for sexy times afterward. You will probably only want to sleep, but that might not happen because your fear of post traumatic nightmares, or your mind is still keyed up even though your body is exhausted. Also, all that emotional energy is going to be used up. You might feel numb or depressed. You might have thoughts of killing yourself, or fearing for your future. Now, I’m not saying Shep won’t try for sexy times after an episode, but it’s going to look different than normal sex. Maybe they’re using it to distract their partner from their pain. Maybe they use it to ground themselves in their current reality. Timing matters. Is it in the middle of an episode? Is it after? Does Shep mind being touched when they’re experiencing symptoms? These are all things to keep in mind. 

4) Coping mechanisms differ person to person. Some people drink. Others have sex. Some push themselves into their work. Others make art. Some get counseling/therapy. Some exercise. Others take prescription medication. How your Shepard copes and to what degree really depends on how well educated they are about their condition and the emotional support system they have. How well they cope probably changes for better or for worse depending on what point they are in their story. 

Hope you find this helpful. Feel free to reply with questions. (I’m not a mental health professional, but I can speak to my own experiences and that of my loved ones.)

Quotes from PurCon 3

Another convention, another quote compilation. (Most of them were written down by yours truly but I couldn’t have done it without these people who live tweeted some of the things the cast said: xFrancy002, hollowcas, Catt_Mohen, odetolizzy, KirschKid, KeptinOnZeBridg, kellysparrow, mishainmydreams and _pigglywiggly.

Opening panel
Rich: I’ve never heard the German language sound so pervy when you say it.
Sebastian (in a pervy voice): Oh yes, we’re gonna have fun together.

Gil and Sebastian
Sebastian (to us): How are you?
Us: Woooo!
Sebastian (to Gil): How are you?
Gil: I’m scared.

Sebastian (sees people leave for Briana and Kim’s photo op): Aaah! Schweinhund! Arschloch!

Sebastian: Did you see The Man in the High Castle? Did you like my German accent? (There are some people who react somewhat negatively.) You are scheisse!

Sebastian (is going through the rows): She just said, (in an awestruck voice) “Oh my god, he touched me.”

Sebastian (from the other end of the panel room): Hello front row! (Front rows wave back.) Fuck you!

Sebastian (talking about Jensen): Everybody gets pregnant in five seconds. (in a high-pitched voice) Oh, my vagina!

Gil: We were working on that scene and Jared and Jensen were doing research on the computer and they turned it around [so I could see the screen] and there was this giant picture of a naked man.

Sebastian (about touching Gil’s arm): I touched it. I felt it. It was good.

Kim and Briana
Briana: I would love to play Crowley. Well, not anymore.

Matt and Ruth
Ruth (talking about the most difficult scene she’s had to do, in a very soft voice): That’s when she tells him– (sees people coming back from a photo op, now dead in the eye) you’re late.

Ruth (talking about Jensen): It’s like looking into the sun.

Rich and Rob
Rich: Cookie Ashley [Chuchichästli].

Fan: You’re my favourite actor ever.
Rich: That woman knows quality.

Rich: I hope you’re happy now, Rob. You made her cry.

Rob: Let me talk about Gabriel as a son. (…) And Michael, of course, my good son.

Rob (watching people leave): They’re really upset about this, Rich.

Rob and Rich: What, there is a guy! (start singing) A guy in the room, a person with a penis (…)!

Rich: You know, I think it would be an ice musical. (People start leaving for Sebastian’s photo op.) Oh Jesus, it wouldn’t be an ice musical! (There’s some babbling, then) GOD DAMMIT!

Fan: If you could be God and Gabriel for one night what would you do?
There’s a long silence.
Rich (bewildered): We are God and Gabriel.

Rich: We all want to ride Sam.

Rich: If you wanna imitate Sebastian–that’s really easy. Find a stationary object and hump it.

Raffle with Kim
Kim: Monika, I hope this sells for a lot on ebay for you.

Auction with Gil and Sebastian
Seb (talking about Rob’s banner): You can sleep with Rob!

Two women have been trying to outbid each other for some minutes now.
Ruth: Maybe they should just wrestle for it.

Matt has put on Rich’s shirt as pants.
Matt: There’s usually just one dick in there. (…) Fifty euros for my two dick shirt!

Sebastian said, “Gil read the book on the loo” and there are only two bidders left.
Sebastian: It’s gonna be a battle of wills. A battle of the toilets. (silence, then) Think of the toilet!

Sebastian: 250 over there in Antarctica! (He means the far end of the panel room.) It must be very cold there. Your nipples must be hard.

The Antarctica bidder just lost.
Sebastian (to the bidder): And your nipples were hard but not hard enough.

Sebastian (talking about Matt’s banner): Holy shit, I wanna fuck him. I mean, who doesn’t. (…) Meine Vagina is on fire!

Sebastian (talking about Matt): He looks like he was built by a toy company. Or a sex shop.

Sebastian: You saved a lot of dogs, cats and rats today … Rats are nice people, too!

Gil and Sebastian
Gil: Jensen told me to say yes when they’d call me. He said, they’d call to ask me about doing conventions and I should just say yes. And I wasn’t even sure they’d call because the episode I was on hadn’t even aired yet. But he just said, “Don’t worry, you’re a Winchester.”

Gil: Being on Supernatural was amazing but the conventions are honestly the best part.

Sebastian: Balthazar would come back as Castiel’s lover. And–wait for it–Castiel would be bottom.
Gil: Obviously.

Sebastian (talking about Balthazar/Castiel fanfiction): You know, when [Misha] and I fake kissed … The nipples got very hard very quickly.

Sebastian: Oh I remember her! She was the funny-feisty one yesterday!
Fan: Thank you, I guess.

Sebastian makes a sexual reference after a fan asked a question.
Gil: She just told you she was a minor!
Sebastian: Oh, a minor! I thought she said she worked in a coal mine!

Sebastian: Entschuldigung für mein Vulgaritat!

Gil: Do you wanna go to Mars?
Sebastian: Who the fuck would wanna go to Mars?! (…) Your balls would freeze in an instant!

Sebastian (points at upper body): I’m half Scottish, (points at loins) half French.

Sebastian: My mum was born in 1939 and she looks great.
Fan (from the audience): My mum too!
Sebastian: Oh, your father too!

Sebastian (to a fan): Do you understand everything?
Gil: Unfortunately.

Sebastian: I am wearing special underwear for old people. So you know, when I say, I’m just shitting, I really mean it.
And of course, Gil is cracking up in the background.

Gil: I’m gonna dream about this panel on my flight back to America.
Sebastian: Dream or nightmare?

Gil asked people whether they’ve ever been to Texas and somebody told them they’ve been to El Paso.
Gil: El Paso? You think it was nice? Oh that’s sweet. Nobody ever says that about El Paso!

Kim, Briana and Ruth
Kim: The good thing about sitting on the floor is … you can’t fall off it.

Ruth: Wait, so there’s porn and then there’s trashporn?! (…) I’m so confused by that trash porn.

Kim: It’s so funny you think that the boys are the dirty ones on Supernatural.

Kim: I ship Jody with literally everybody.

Kim (about women and representation): Fuck, we don’t matter!

Ruth: My heaven looks like hell. (…) I’d be sitting on a red sofa and throw Lindt chocolate papers at a naked Mark Pellegrino.

Kim: If my happiness depends on what other people think about me, I’m fucked.

Kim: I wanted to be a boss. It didn’t really matter of what. I just wanted to be the boss.

Kim: I wanted to become an English teacher but you have to be outgoing and entertaining so I took acting classes in college when I was nineteen aaand I still haven’t become an English teacher.

Fan: How would alternate universe Rowena be like?
Ruth: Ich kann jetzt nicht darüber sprechen, es ist viel zu schmerzhaft.

Kim: It breaks my heart that I live in a world where people can’t be who they truly are.

Matt, Richard and Rob
Apparently, the guys are having problems pronouncing the word “nephilim” so they decided to say “heffalump” instead.
Rich: Jesus is a heffalump.

Fan: Why do your characters always die?
Rich: Because contrary to popular belief you can have too much Dick in your life.

Rich (talking about Sabriel): Let the fans do what the fans wanna do.
Rob: Why am I not in on this?
Rich: You do know I’m your son?

Fan: What happened to your French twitter account, Rich?
Rich: Who? Oh, that’s not me, he just looks like me! But he will probably tweet later today because he just remembered he had that account.

Rob: There you got it. God has spoken.

Anyway...

As one can assume based on my username I spend a lot of time thinking about Bellamy, who he is and what makes him who he is. My most recent round of thinking circled around to JRoth and his statements about Madi potentially causing issues between Bellamy and Clarke (because Clarke will do things for Madi that may not align with what’s best for their people), which made me think about what Bellamy’s relationships with children specifically over the course of the last four Seasons have said about his story arc, so let’s delve into this:

In Season 1, Bellamy’s connection to a child is Charlotte (who is 12). Through his relationship with her, we get our first real glimpse into who Bellamy actually is. Charlotte is only in two episodes (1x03 and 1x04) but her impact in Bellamy resonates across the Season.

Charlotte has a relationship with both Clarke and Bellamy and it’s one of the ways the show gives us a visualization of the differences between Bellamy and Clarke. We’re first introduced to Charlotte when she has a nightmare and Clarke attempts to comfort her:

Clarke: “Hey, wake up. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just a dream. You’re Charlotte, right? I’m Clarke. It’s okay to be scared. Do you want to talk about it?”

Charlotte: “It's… my parents. They were floated and they… and I see it in my dreams and I just…”

Clarke: “I understand. My dad was floated, too. So, how did you end up here?”

Charlotte: “Well… we were taking my parents’ things to the redistribution center and… I kind of lost it. They said I assaulted a guard.”

Clarke: “I can’t say I blame you. See that bright star up there? That’s The Ark orbiting above us. I think whatever happened up there, you know, the pain… maybe we can move past that now. Maybe being on the ground is our second chance.”

The next time we see Charlotte she’s followed Bellamy and the hunting party because she can’t deal with the sound of Jasper’s pain, unfortunately before they can make it back to camp the acid fog rolls in and we find Bellamy and Charlotte trapped in a cave.  Again, Charlotte is sleeping and has a nightmare, a parallel to her first interaction with Clarke, but they differ in how they handle the situation with Charlotte:

Charlotte: “No!”

Bellamy: “Charlotte, wake up. Charlotte: I’m sorry.”

Bellamy: “Does it happen often? What are you scared of? You know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it.”

Charlotte: “But… I’m asleep.”

Bellamy: “Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you’re awake, they won’t be there to get you when you sleep.”

Charlotte: “Yeah, but… How?”

Bellamy: “You can’t afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death. Let me see that knife I gave you. Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, ‘Screw you. I’m not afraid.‘”

Charlotte: Screw you. I’m not afraid. Screw you. I’m not afraid.”

Bellamy: “Slay your demons, kid. Then you’ll be able to sleep.”

We see the difference in Bellamy and Clarke’s handling of the situation from the get go, while Clarke tries to get Charlotte to embrace the fear and learn from it, Bellamy encourages her to run from that fear, to pretend that she’s not afraid, to slay her demons. And we know she does this with disastrous effect when she kills Wells.

Bellamy is shaken by Charlotte’s actions, because they were influenced by his words, but “Weakness is death, fear is death” is still a statement that Bellamy embraces for the rest of the Season, in fact the only reason we actually see him admit to being afraid is when he thinks he’s dying (in a moment of weakness).

They deleted a scene where Bellamy gives a rousing speech to the Delinquents, but here’s what he says:

“Everybody, listen up. I know you’re afraid, but how you choose to handle that fear is up to you. You can let it break you down or you can use it to make you stronger. Are we just a bunch of kids from the Ark who weren’t strong enough to survive? Because if we lose today, if we let the fear win, that is what they’ll say about us. But I say screw fear: I’m telling my own damn story!”

Bellamy’s rejection of fear is the first sign that he’s anything other than the asshole that the show originally attempted to paint him as and also sets up his defining arc (”Screw fear.”) for Season 1.

Bellamy’s Season 2 kid is Lovejoy’s son and he’s introduced in Episode 2x11 (not as early as Charlotte) but he is a defining moment for Bellamy:

Lovejoy’s Son: “Mister… Are you on a ground unit? My dad is training for a ground unit.”

Bellamy: “It’s pretty cool up there. I hope he makes it. They’re just kids.”

Maya: “What did you expect you’d find here?”

And Maya’s question is an accurate assessment of Bellamy’s thought process until the moment he sees Lovejoy’s kid. He really did believe that the Mountain was full of monsters (and why shouldn’t he have?). Seeing Lovejoy’s kid forces him to reconsider the plan of attack and that’s when he almost begs Clarke for another:

“She helped me escape. If not for her, I’d be dead. And, Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn’t kill everyone. Please tell me we have one.”

Because Bellamy can handle killing monsters. That’s just slaying your demons, but kids? That’s a violation of everything he believes and it’s being forced to help make the decision that ultimately kills 26 children (along with the men and women) that is responsible for contributing to Bellamy breaking after his actions in the Mountain. 

Because for the first time slaying demons meant killing innocents as well. 

His Season 3 Kid? Adria, the girl who Luna loves. 

Again, this child is introduced late into the Season and they don’t actually interact much, but it is the first time that Bellamy actually sees with his own eyes the carnage that the Chipped!individuals can wreak on unsuspecting towns and its then that he fully realizes that the Chipped! aren’t enemies in the traditional sense. 

His interactions with Adria (and the others on Niylah’s rig) help lay the groundwork for Bellamy’s refusal to invade other Grounder villages the very next episode and, later, his insistence that the Chipped! are not killed only temporarily incapacitated until Clarke could shut down the CoL. 

Because this time, they are going to find a plan that saves everyone, unlike the ultimate resolution for Season 2. 

And last but not least, we have his Season 4 Kid: The Grounder Slave girl he saves in 4x02, When he saves her (and the other slaves), it’s a continuation of the journey he’s been on since Season 2 and Lovejoy’s kid:

Bellamy: “We didn’t get the machine.”

Clarke: “It didn’t survive landing?”

Bellamy: “No. It did, but I had a choice… bring the machine home or use it to save them.”

Raven: “Oh, we are so screwed.”

Bellamy: “We have time, but I am not sacrificing any more innocent lives.”

Clarke: “You just did.”

Bellamy: “I made the call, and I’ll live with that.”

Raven: “Yeah. You’re not the only one who has to live with your call, as usual.”

Bellamy: “Well, go tell them. Go tell Riley I should’ve left them to die.”

Bellamy has been forever changed by his actions over the course of the Seasons, but this is the first time we see him directly reference the loses he’s had to inflict in order to save his people. This is the beginning of Bellamy’s “We save who we can save today” arc. 

We see this arc come to final fruition when Bellamy has to make the decision to close the door on Clarke and blast off. The arc that we see begin for him in 4x02, saving those who can be saved, even if it ultimately means that others will die in that episode, is what preps him to be able to make the decision to close the door on Clarke in 4x13. 

It wasn’t just Clarke’s speech about using his head (although we do see him reference her with “It’s what she would have wanted”), it was the fact that he’d already made a decision just like this. Choosing to stay behind to wait for Clarke would have meant the death of the others on the rocket and while Bellamy might have been willing to make the sacrifice if it was just him (”I left her behind. I left her behind and we all die anyway”), he could not justify making the decision for everyone else, so he saved who he could save today. 

Basically….I wrote all of this out to say we should be paying close attention to Bellamy’s initial interactions with Madi (who will likely be one of the first children he meets) in Season 5, because they obviously plant lots of little seeds for Bellamy’s overarching Season journey in his relationships with children. 

Leto!Joker Imagine - Batman messes with your mind

Originally posted by fakesonia

Originally posted by ageofsuperheroes

Your P.O.V.

Long story short, Batman didn’t let me and Joker escape that easily every time. We had been messing with good old Batsy tonight but somewhere during that fun we crossed the line. The car chase part was all fun and games but it came to an end when we kinda crashed into a warehouse. Both cars went through the walls like a knife into hot butter. Now we were here and a real fight was on.

Joker got out of the car and so did I. The warehouse smelled bad like rotten wood and fish but it wasn’t in the middle of the city. We could blow up stuff! Well technically we could do that in the middle of the city too. Oh well.

‘’Come out Batsy! I can count to three!’’ I yelled at him while holding my beloved gun. You see we checked his car and it seemed empty. We couldn’t open it but I doubted he was in it. So Batsy had to be behind one of these boxes. ‘’Are you scared of my Y/N?’’ Joker laughed darkly. I smirked and narrowed my eyes. Suddenly I heard footsteps and I turned to my left. Through flames and broken stuff I saw Batsy coming. He looked rather calm but I could tell he was angry.

‘’Gotcha!’’ I chirped and aimed my gun at him. I felt happy and excited now. ‘’We both know you won’t pull the trigger on me Y/N’’ Batman told me seriously. What the heck? I gave him a stern look and I pouted my lips. That’s when Joker walked closer to us. Batman didn’t seem worried although he had two guns pointed to him. ‘’What do you mean Batsy? Don’t be so full of yourself. I don’t love you if that’s what you think’’ I spat and wanted to show him my tongue. It made Joker giggle.

‘’I can’t blame you. You don’t even know what true love is’’ Batman told me rudely. My eyes widened this time. How could he?  ‘’Hell yeah I do Bat. If you look right next to me you can see a very real man who I love and he loves me’’ I defended myself. Joker put his hand on my shoulder and I smiled. I loved him and he loved me.

‘’Really? What exactly do you call love? He just hurts people for fun’’ Batman growled. I saw that his hands were empty which surprised me. Usually by now Batsy would have made an attack.  ‘’Shut up Batman. This cat and mouse was fun tonight but I think you should already go and hang yourself. I mean, if that’s how you sleep since you’re a bat’’ Joker started to get angry. Why was he taking this so seriously? 

Batman’s face looked sterner than usually. Was he actually trying to win this fight with words? With a mixture of the freaking alphabet? Ha! ‘’ Am I upsetting you Joker? Can’t you handle it if she finds out the truth about you?’’ Batman spoke furiously. Their behaviour was so different tonight. I didn’t know whether it was this dark stinky warehouse or their behaviour that made my head ache. What the hell was happening?

‘’She knows the real me. What are you trying to do anyway? Why haven’t you hit me already?’’ Joker snickered and moved away from me. I watched how he got closer to Batman. Oh boy. ‘’I’m trying to make her realize what kind of a fool you are. Y/N was a perfectly fine and sane woman before you fucked her up. She, unlike you, still has a chance to live a good life’’ Batman explained angrily and to be honest it was quite a shocker - even for me.

The next thing that happened was a bit of a surprise.Batgirl appeared out of nowhere and attacked Joker. The two of them fell down onto the ground and started fighting. ‘’Hey!’’ I screamed and hurried to Joker. He would be just fine but I think that the start of the fight was unfair. J punched the red head just as I was going to drag her off of him. Of course I couldn’t do that. Batman grabbed me by my waist and dragged me away from the scene. I dug my nails into his arms but it was useless because of his damn suit.

‘’Let me go!’’ I hissed and then I hit his face with my elbow. He grunted but it didn’t make him let go. Once we were behind a box, he pressed me against it. I didn’t know when but he had sneakily managed to handcuff me. ‘’You big bag of shit let me go’’ I spat into his face. It was so close. ‘’No Y/N you’re going to listen to me’’ He demanded darkly. Something about his behaviour made me a little scared. Batman wasn’t like this. Had he hit his head or something?

‘’Well if you expect me to trust you then you should trust me and I feel untrusted with these damn cuffs’’ I sighed tiredly. This night was a bummer! Why couldn’t we just drive around Gotham and maybe have an epic fight scene on the road and escape like smoke into air? ‘’That’s not the point’’ Batman argued with me. I rolled my eyes and decided to listen. If he got too freaky I’d attack him. 

One thing was for sure, I wasn’t going to Arkham.

‘’If you don’t listen to me now Y/N, there will come a day when you’re screaming for help because he’s going to hurt you real bad’’ Batman warned me without even stuttering. It made him sound very sure of himself. Before I could answer, I heard a scream of pain. ‘’That will be you one day’’ He spat and then ran off. He had to save Batgirl. I followed Batman and stopped at a safe distance. Joker and Batgirl sure had a good fight. I saw blood on the ground and on my J.

Joker walked to me calmly with a smile on his face. He had blood splatters on his skin and I had a strong feeling that they weren’t his. Batgirl had left marks on him ,sure, but she had a knife in her thigh. Batman picked her up and hurried to the Bat mobile. Joker wanted to chase them a little more, but I grabbed his coat.

‘’Not today Puddin, please. I’m worn out’’ I pouted and gave him my big glossy eyes. He sighed and stopped. ‘’Fine dear but next time I want to fight him too’’ He made a deal with me. I just nodded with a fake smile. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Joker. But Batman messed with my mind.

What if he was telling me the truth? Could the man I loved and the man who loved me hurt me like that? Okay J could hurt me a little bit but it wasn’t anything serious. Also most of the time it was in bed. He was bad to me rarely but if he was, it was my fault.

‘’Let’s go. It seems like Batsy gave you something stupid to think about’’ J though out loud with mystery in his voice. ‘’Oh don’t worry J, it was just rubbish’’ I reassured him. Just rubbish..

(Okay although this was Leto!Joker, I got inspiration from the Batman animated series. I just watched so many episodes because of the nostalgia.)

my thoughts on 5x20 (and why it’s better than 3x20)

WOW. I woke up, the sun was shining, my skin was clear, Olicity is rising and Arrow is back on top again. GOD BLESS. 

So I’m doing something different with this recap. Normally I just give bullet-point impressions of the ep. Today I’m doing bullet-point reasons of why I think this ep is better than 3x20. If you know me, then you know that 3x20 has long been my favorite Arrow episode. I had severe doubts that 5x20 could top it. Even when the spoilers started coming out. But then I saw 5x20. 

  • This episode had THRILLS. 
  • The way it started, with Felicity on the floor and Oliver scoping the bunker out with the gun?? Protective!Oliver is hot hot hot! 🔥
  • The way these two bickered in the present day was harsh and rough and absolutely appropriate given how 5x19 ended. 
  • It was also very married and adorable and them. They were more real with each other here than they were in 3x20, I hate to say. 
  • The flashbacks (which the title card said took place 11 months ago… but then MG said on Tumblr last night that he felt it took place closer to 5x01 than it did 4x23 so… basically… somewhere in the summer. Let’s say LATE AUGUST and call it a day) were so full of tension-laden chemistry that I about burst into flames during that scene with Felicity cooing over his boo-boo on his arm. 
  • Yeah that’s another reason 5x20 >>>> 3x20: the flashbacks. Olicity focused flashbacks beat s3 Hong Kong flashbacks any day. 
  • Olicity was so much of this episode. And anything that wasn’t Olicity was the team trying to save Olicity. And Dyla working out their shit. That sure beats Lazarus Pit resurrection and joining the LoA if you ask me. 
  • Oliver and Felicity having a picnic on the mats, eating take-out and drinking two (2!!!) bottles of wine is basically fanfic. ITS FANFIC. 
  • Oliver coaching Felicity on how to do the salmon ladder is also FANFIC. 
  • Oliver demonstrating for Felicity is basically the most preening show pony he’s ever been and I’m here for it. So is she. 
  • As demonstrated by her jumping him with a kiss right after. You get him, girl! 
  • Okay, I’m not sure a love scene this hot on network tv during the 8pm hour is allowed. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
  • But it’s also fun? Cuz they’re enjoying themselves and each other? And tender? Cuz of all the hearteyes? How is this better than 3x20? I don’t know but it IS. It feels… righter. 
  • Also: full-on “morning after” scene where they’re cuddled up NAKED together on the mats. NAKED. NAAAAKEEEEED. 
  • They want me dead. That’s all there is to say. This cuddling is TOO MUCH. 
  • Of course then things have to get real with Felicity saying it doesn’t mean anything. Oliver’s eyes are saying “excuse you, it meant A LOT to me!”
  • Also: “it was nice”. GIRL PLEASE. It was more than nice. Oliver, you’re not gonna take that lying down are you? Show your girl what “nice” really is. 🔥🔥🔥🔥
  • Or…. save it for the reunion sex. I wouldn’t mind that. 
  • (this said, I still am not convinced we’ll get reunion sex… are we that lucky? i have my doubts)
  • BUT Felicity was right to say what she did. And she did give Oliver and opening. Figure your shit out and get back to me. 
  • Newsflash: he didn’t get back to her. 🤦‍♀️
  • BUT! The present day shows them finally talking this shit out. The shit they should have talked out an EON ago. 
  • Oliver trusts her, he will always trust her. He doesn’t trust himself. He’s not sure if he’s a monster or a hero. 
  • The tear when he told her this nearly murdered me. Death by tear. 
  • Felicity is sure he’s a hero, but he has to believe it. But when he does… it’s ON. 
  • In case you’re concerned: this ties Olicity’s fate with the main conflict of the season. Once Oliver has what he needs to defeat Chase, he will have what he needs to reunite with Felicity. 
  • So if you’re one of those people who keeps sending me anons, step away from the ask box and read one of my posts. THEY ARE REUNITING IN S5. 5x20 CONFIRMED IT. Stop asking me if I still think they’re reuniting. 😂 It’s obvious that I do! 
  • Where was I? OH YES. Okay, so 3x20 ended with Olicity separated and Oliver selling his soul to the LoA. 5x20 ended with hope for our favorite pair reuniting (and for good this time). 
  • Is there any comparison? I don’t think so. 
  • Also, Chase approaching William. I am officially shook. 

God bless this episode. And god bless Olicity. This is my ship. The stunts, the arguments, the selfless acts of heroism, the heart to heart conversations… this is why I’m here. 

The One With The Countdown

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Summary: You and Jeff find yourself in the peak of your relationship: arguing, making up, talking about your future together. Little do you know there’s a clock on your relationship that’s running out of time. 

A/N: died a lil inside writing this not gonna lie

MASTERLIST (mobile and desktop)
(you can like it and save it for later!)


5 DAYS BEFORE
Friday, 8:17 pm

Most days, you and Jeff barely argued. You’d been dating for over a year and it had been a great year. You were young and in love, as cliché as that was and nothing in the world mattered more. Or at least it hadn’t. But for days you’d been arguing about where he’d been spending his time.

“No. Not Bryce’s. Not again,” you shake your head firmly, “Don’t you get it, Jeff? He is a terrible person and going to his parties-“

“Makes me a terrible person?” he raises a brow. You inhale sharply, resting a hand against his chest and looking into his eyes, “You’re a good person and I wouldn’t want anything to change that.”

“I don’t go to those parties so I can hang out with Bryce and his douchebag friends,” he promises you, “I go for Clay who goes for Hannah who goes for Jessica,” he says, all in one breath, “Is it so wrong to want to help my friend?”

“Can’t you just help him at school? Nothing good ever happens at those parties.”

Jeff raises a brow, “You know, we’ve never really talked about-“

“And I don’t want to,” you sigh.

Freshman year you’d dated Justin for a short while and that time in your life was a living hell. You hadn’t ‘put out’ and he’d invited you to one of Bryce’s parties just to break up with you and humiliate you in front of his friends. The jokes people made still rung in your ears when you saw him in the hallway.

Lucky for you, Jeff had driven you home from that party and you’d ended up good friends which turned into more eventually.

You knew everyone at school loved him and that he was big on the social scene and you didn’t mind it, it’s just each time he told you he ‘had’ to go to one of Bryce’s parties, you couldn’t help but feel disgusted. What happened to you wasn’t the worst of what happened at those parties and you both knew it.

Jeff rests his hands on either side of your face, “I’m not going to let anything bad happen tonight.”

You nod. At least you felt reassured by the fact that Jeff would help someone in trouble if there was any, just like he’d helped you.

“Why don’t you come?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your forehead before walking back to his wardrobe.

“Because I haven’t stepped into one of his parties since freshman year,” you scoff, “What time will you get back?”

“As soon as I have Clay and Hannah talking to each other,” he smiles widely. You thought it was cute that he’d taken it upon himself to help Clay out, though you were a little jealous that they were spending more time together than the two of you were these days.

“Mmm,” you hum, hugging him from behind, “When will I get all of your time the way Clay does?”

“You can have me the whole of tomorrow,” he promises, “A whole Saturday where you can make me watching Young Wolf-“

“Teen Wolf,” you correct him, chuckling, “Fine,” you sigh, “Be safe. Don’t drink too much.”

He rolls his eyes as he pulls on his jacket. You stand in front of him, adjusting the collar and shooting him a stern look, “Call me if you need me to pick you up, okay?”

“I’ll be fine, y/n,” he laughs, tracing a finger down your cheek, “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“But I do anyway,” you sigh, hugging him. He wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your forehead.

“Look, I’ll text you all night,” he says, “I’ll give you an hourly update on how Clay isn’t talking to his crush.”

You half smile, ruffling his hair, “Alright, get out of here before I strap you down to the bed so you can’t leave.”

“I’m not completely opposed to that,” he smirks before swiping his phone off the night stand and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’ll be back by 11. I promise,” he says.

You spend the entire night watching re runs of Gilmore Girls despite the same three episodes being played in a loop. It didn’t really matter since all you were thinking about was Jeff.

Every time he went to one of these parties, the two of you would end up fighting. Today you’d let it go but that just made it that much harder on you, having to internalize your fear all on your own instead of talking to him about it. You knew he wouldn’t brush you off but you also knew you couldn’t change his mind.

You knew Jeff wasn’t at risk of anything in particular but you knew that there was always drama around Hannah and Jessica and that if anything were to go down, he would step in on Clay’s behalf and that worried you. You couldn’t live if something happened to him.

“Screw it,” you mumble to yourself, an uneasy feeling growing in your stomach despite your best efforts to suppress it. It was already 1am and you hadn’t heard from him at all. You jump into your car, driving towards Bryce’s house. As you pull up his driveway, your heart begins to race.

The front lawn was littered with a few passed-out people, unsurprisingly, not all of them were fully clothed. You dodge around them, frowning, your eyes raking the house for Jeff as you walk in.

You could feel eyes shifting to you and a few scattered whispers. You hadn’t really considered what walking in here would do or what kind of rumours there’d be by Monday – after all, you’d avoided these for most of your time in high school. You pull your phone out of your pocket, dialling Jeff again, only to feel a hand grab your shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”

Bryce’s voice is a loud sneer that seems to echo over the loud music. Justin was standing by his side, shifting from foot to foot – he looked concerned.

“I j-just-“ you stammer. You could see his hand reaching out for you and you dodge it quickly, stumbling backwards and to the floor.

Bryce sniggers, crossing his large arms over his chest and stalking towards you. Justin quickly steps in front of him, “Come on man, she looks wasted,” he says.

“That’s how I like them,” Bryce leers, crouching down beside you. He traces a finger down your arm, before wrapping his thick fingers around it and yanking you up.

“Come on man,” Justin sighs. Bryce brushes him off.

“That’s what she’s here for, a good time,” Bruce shrugs.

“Actually, she’s here to see me,” Clay says, tugging you out of Bryce’s grasp. Bryce just rolls his eyes and falls back into conversation with his group.

“Are you okay?” he asks. You just stare at him wide eyed, unable to speak. He steadies you, walking you over to the backyard where it was a little quieter and points to a corner.

Jeff was slumped against a pool chair, his head lulling side to side.

“It’s my fault. We started playing beer pong against Hannah and Jessica and he drank so I wouldn’t have to,” he says apologetically.

You felt like you were going to throw up from what had just happened but your priority was to get the two of you out of there.

You walk over, crouching beside him.

“Y/N,” he mumbles, a small smile spreading across his lips. He closes his eyes, letting his head hang back and you loop one of his arms around your neck and help him up. He staggers all over the place until Clay links his other arm around his neck.

You avoid the eyes of Bryce and his posse as the three of you go through the front door. You didn’t need to look to know Bryce’s eyes were on your ass.

It was a struggle getting Jeff into the car but once he was in, he rested his head against the cool glass and was out like a light.

Clay frowns deeply, wringing his hands, “I really am sorry.”

“it’s not your fault,” you tell him, “Are you okay to get home?”

He nods toward his bike across the street, making his way over. He pauses, turning back to you, “Don’t be too hard on him,” he sighs.

You climb in, turning the key in the ignition. Your breaths were short and shallow, you felt like the air had left your lungs since you’d walked into that house.

You were half way to Jeff’s house when you realized you could barely see where you were going. At first you thought it was the tears that had been streaming down your face the whole time you’d been driving but soon noticed there were black spots all over your vision. You squeeze your eyes open and shut several times, your breathing so loud you could hear it over the music, but it made no difference.

“Fuck,” you croak, pulling over. You’d completely sweat through your shirt. You knew you were hyperventilating but you couldn’t get yourself to stop. You hadn’t had a panic attack since that incident freshman year. You rest your head against the steering wheel, letting our choked sobs.

I’m sorry,” you hear Jeff mumble from beside you. He rests his hands on top of yours and nestles his head against your shoulder, “I’m really, really fucking sorry.”


4 DAYS BEFORE
Saturday, 11:03 am

Despite your agreement to spend the weekend together, you’d dropped Jeff home on Friday around in the early hours of the morning and gone home, ignoring all his calls that had started shortly after..

He’d tried to comfort you in the car and apologized profusely for scaring you like that and dragging you into a situation you didn’t want to be in. You didn’t say a word, nor did you tell him about what had happened with Bryce. You simply drove him home once you could and told him you’d talk to him the next day.

But as you woke up in the morning, you couldn’t deal with it or him. You’d scrubbed your skin all night, just to get the smell of alcohol out – just to make sure there wasn’t an inch of you left that Bryce had touched.

But you should’ve known better than to ignore Jeff, he was persistent if anything.

“You ignored all my calls,” he says, standing in your doorway, “Y-your mum let me up,” he explains.

“I was tired,” you shrug him off, standing up and walking over to him with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” he sighs, “I didn’t mean for any of that. I didn’t expect you’d show up – I thought I could sleep it off then go home to you.”

“You didn’t expect I’d show up? Do you know how much I freak out every time you go to one of Bryce’s parties?”

“I know,” he sighs, shaking his head, “I know and I’m not going to go to one ever again, I swear. I should have never put you through that.”

You run your fingers through your hair, biting down on your lip, “I need some time, Jeff.”

“Wait, what?” he frowns, inching towards you, “Come on, I just said I wouldn’t go.”

“But that’s your life,” you throw your hands up in the air, “You like parties and going out and I don’t want to stop you from doing that stuff if you enjoy it. I don’t – I don’t want to be the girlfriend that controls everything you do.”

“You’re – you’re not that girl. You’re just looking out for me, those parties are the worst place to be and I know that and I know that you’re right.”

“If you knew that then you wouldn’t have gone,” you deadpan, “I can’t keep having this same argument with you over and over again.”

“And I promise you’ll never have to again,” he pleads, taking your hands in his.

You pull them away, balling your fists up by your sides, “I know,” you sigh, walking over to the door and waiting for him to pass you.


3 DAYS BEFORE
Sunday, 5:22 pm

After you’d broken up with him, you’d avoided all his attempts at trying to fix things between the two of you. Even when he’d shown up at your window at midnight. Even when he’d gotten drunk and dialled you a dozen times Sunday morning. Even when he’d pleaded with your mom to let him see you at lunch.

“I’m sorry man,” Clay says, skipping a stone across the lake. After a day of failed attempts of trying to get you to talk to him, he’d caved and called Clay to pour his heart out, but the words felt stuck in his throat. He could have never imagined the pain that came with losing you.

“Yeah,” Jeff sighs, lying back on the grass. He’d planned to spend the entire weekend with you and here he was with Clay in the middle of a deserted park, watching the sun set.

“Maybe she’ll come around. She said she needed time, right?”

Jeff shakes his head grievously, “It was the last straw, I could see it on her face. She was so hurt,” he rests his arm over his eyes, “I should have listened to her.”

Clay rests a hand on Jeff’s shoulder, “She was pretty shaken up, huh?”

He looks up at him, “Right, I forgot you saw her when you helped me into the car.”

“Actually, I was there when that whole thing happened with Bryce,” Clay says with a frown, “He’s such a dick.”

Jeff sits up in confusion, “Wait, what happened with Bryce?”

Clay raises his brows, “She didn’t tell you?”

Jeff shakes his head, “What happened?” he asks slowly, knowing he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter how minor it was.

“Bryce kind of grabbed her and knocked her around a bit, said some pretty gross stuff too. God knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t dragged her away,” he explains, “You know Bryce get’s what he wants, even if it’s in the middle of a party. The guy is disgusting.”

Jeff had stopped listening. He could hear ringing in his ears as he thought of you breaking down in your car, inconsolable. He could feel himself shaking, whether it was with remorse or anger, he couldn’t tell.

He’d put you in a position that you never should have been in and worse, you’d been so distraught about it you hadn’t even been able to tell him. Of course you’d broken up with him – you couldn’t have beared to stay with him knowing there was a possibility that it could happen again.

Jeff shoots up and Clay pulls him back.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to talk to her,” he says, growing agitated. He had to tell you how sorry he was.

“Jeff, she didn’t want you to know. And she probably doesn’t even want to think about it and you confronting her won’t help. Just give her a few days, let it die down a  little. God knows it’ll be a big deal at school tomorrow.”


2 DAYS BEFORE
Monday, 8:33 am

You could see Jeff watching you from his locker, hesitantly walking toward you with flowers in one hand and his other shoved into his jacket pocket.

You crack a small smile when he comes to a stop. Truthfully, your weekend had been miserable without him. It was only two days but it felt like lifetime – your days felt incomplete without him. And it felt worse to not have him to talk to, to not be able to tell him how humiliated and disgusted you felt about the party.

He holds the bouquet out to you, “I am really, really sorry. And just to be clear these aren’t ‘get back together with me’ flowers, they’re ‘I was an asshole and I’m sorry’ flowers and ‘even if you just want to stay friends or ignore me forever, it’s okay and I promise I’ll never step foot into one of Bryce’s parties again’ flowers.” He seemed out of breath by the time he’d finished saying it.

“How long did you rehearse that?” you raise a brow with a smirk, taking them out of his hands.

“The very long walk from my locker to yours,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck, “So?”

“So, we can stay friends, Jeff,” you nod. A wide smile spreads across his face, “Good. Great, I mean,” he claps his hands together, “So then why don’t we skip Jessica’s party on Wednesday and go to that Italian restaurant you like?”

“I can’t skip Jessica’s,” you sigh, “I promised I’d wingman one of my friends.”

“Jessica’s?” you hear a voice boom from behind you.

You both turn around to find Bryce and Justin leaning against the lockers on the opposite side of the hallway.

“Will I be seeing you there?” Bryce asks, “Maybe we can pick up where we left off last night?” he chuckles lowly. Within a blink, Jeff is throwing him to the floor and pinning him down, hitting him until his knuckles are bloody. You were watching on in horror, unable to move for a good few minutes until you noticed that Bryce was about to turn the fight around.

You pull Jeff up despite finding it rather enjoyable to see Bryce being beaten to a pulp. When Bryce lurches forward you reach into your bag and pepper spray him between the eyes. He screams loudly doubling over and digging the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” he shouts, grasping around blindly.

Jeff half laughs, staring at you in surprise before taking your hand in his and sprinting down the hallway until you’re both through the front doors and out in the carpark.

“We’re going to be in so much shit for that,” he gasps, out of breath.

You study him intently, “Why did you do that back there?” you ask.

“Clay told me,” he confesses, his eyes reddening, “I should’ve known there was more going on. I should’ve known you were hurting.”

“Jeff-“

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that – that – I don’t even know,” he says frustrated, “I’m so sorry that right now if you asked me to walk into traffic, I would.”

“I’m not going to ask you to do that,” you laugh softly, slinging your arms around his neck, “Thank you, for what you did back there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew you already felt terrible about me having a panic attack, I didn’t want to add to your guilt,” you say, resting a hand against his arm and your forehead against him, “I don’t blame you.”

“I feel terrible,” he whispers.

“I know,” you nod, “But don’t. Clay told me you cried all weekend and that I should take you back,” you say with a small grin.

“Of course I cried all weekend,” he scoffs, “I lost the love of my life.”

“You didn’t lose me,” you reassure him. You take his hands in yours, examining his bloody, bruised knuckles, “Should we go back to my place? Get you cleaned up?”

“Is that code for let’s get back together and make out?”

You roll your eyes and nod, “What else would it mean?” you wink, kissing him softly.


1 DAY BEFORE
Tuesday, 1:07 pm

“Stop eating my fries,” Jeff groans, nudging you playfully. You roll your eyes, reaching for them anyway. He picks one up and dips it in ketchup before swiping it across your nose.

You stare at him, surprised, laughing before a small food fight ensues.

“Seriously, how old are you guys?” Clay grumbles as he sits opposite the two of you in the cafeteria.

“Sorry we have love lives,” Jeff teases, “I’ve been telling you all along to get yourself a girl,” he winks, slinging an arm around your shoulder. You shrug it off.

“Don’t listen to him Clay,” you chuckle, “You’re fine as you are.”

Clay mumbles something under his breath with an awkward smile, “So, Hannah is going to be at Jessica’s party tomorrow,” he says, “Should I talk to her?”

“Yes,” you both say in unison.

Clay stiffens, his palms growing sweaty, “W-well, w-what do I say?” he stammers, visualizing the conversation in his head.

You’d both been planning to go to Jessica’s party but now that her and Justin were together, it was guaranteed that Bryce would be there. Your friend had understood when you’d told her you couldn’t come but something about the puppy look in Clay’s eyes made you want to reconsider.

“Are you guys coming?” Clay asks.

Jeff shakes his head firmly, resting his hand over yours, “We’re spending the night in.”

It had been Jeff’s idea not to go and to have a date night instead. Those parties were insufferable anyways, he’d told you, and he didn’t want to have a hangover ever again.

“We can help him a little,” you whisper to Jeff.

Jeff raises his brows, “Really?”

You knew Jeff didn’t care how many parties he missed as long as the two of you were together, the same way you didn’t care how many he went to as long as he was safe. But you also knew how much he wanted to help Clay since Clay as the only reason he hadn’t flunked out, and you felt like you owed it to him.

“Yeah, really. We can be in and out,” you say, turning to Clay, “But you gotta stick to our plan.”

Clay nods firmly even though all of you knew he’d probably freak out at the last minute.


PRESENT DAY
Wednesday, 8:54 pm

“You look beautiful,” Jeff says, leaning against the front door as you come downstairs. You were wearing a silk, red mini dress with black boots and a leather jacket hung over your shoulders.

“You too,” you laugh, running your fingers through his hair as he kisses you.

I can’t believe I’m dating the most beautiful girl in the entire world,” he says in disbelief.

You scrunch your nose up, “You’ve been paying me these corny compliments for two days straight. When will it stop?” you laugh.

“It’ll never stop now that I know what it’s like to lose you,” he says, his expression serious. He holds the car door open, waiting for you to climb in before getting in and switching the headlights on.

He stares ahead for a little, “Are you sure you want to go tonight?”

“It’s fine,” you nod, “We’re going early. We can be in and out before Bryce even gets there,” you tell him, “I know how much you want to help Clay.”

He nods appreciatively, “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you tonight,” he whispers protectively.

“And I will never let anything happen to you,” you say with certainty, resting your head against his shoulder as he begins to drive. Your house wasn’t far from Jessica’s. It was opposite the intersection where the alcohol store was and you could spot a few seniors in there and few juniors, trying to get away with fake I.D’s.

“I remember when that was us,” you laugh.

“And look at us now,” he says, resting a hand over yours, “And imagine us in five years,” he sighs wistfully.

“Five years?” you raise a brow.

“Graduating from college. You do law like you’ve always wanted and after a lot of struggling, I finally get into Medicine so I can help people like I’ve always wanted. We get married, have two kids – one boy and one girl.”

“Let me guess, Jeff Junior?” you laugh. You felt warmth wash over you as you envisioned your future together, more so due to the fact that he’d thought about all this before you had.

“Jeff Junior If it’s a boy and if it’s a girl,” he pauses, “Wait for it…. Jeffica.”

You snort, laughing, “I am not naming our daughter Jeffica.”

“We can name our daughter whatever you like,” he leans over, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I just like the sound of it… our daughter; our family.”

“Me too,” you grin.

You pull up down the street form Jessica’s house and climb out. The party wasn’t in full swing yet, much to your relief.

Clay arrives at the same time as the two of you, looking slightly suffocated as he joins you.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” he mumbles.

“Tonight is your night, my man,” Jeff says, trying to hype him up. His frown only grown deeper.

An hour into the party, Clay had disappeared upstairs with Hannah. You and Jeff smile at each other, impressed with your handiwork.

“Nice job,” you whisper to him.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he replies, kissing you. At that moment, a few of his friends walk in.

“Should we get going?” he asks unsurely, knowing if he walked over to his friends that you’d have to stick around longer.

You shake your head, “No, have some fun,” you smile at him, “This party seems pretty mellow so far.” You join the group in walking to the front yard where they take over the ping pong table.

When you step away, Jeff rushes to your side, “Wait, where are you going?” he asks.

“I was just going to walk home, I’m getting a little tired.”

“Let me take you,” he says, reaching into his pocket for the keys.

“C’mon man,” Zach says, “You said you’d grab us some drinks form the corner store.”

Jeff sighs in defeat, leaning in, “I can totally ditch them.”

“We can hear you,” Zach calls out.

“It’s okay,” you say. You adjust the strap of your bag against your shoulder, looking up at him, “Just meet me back at my place?”

He never would have let you walk home alone but the street was filled with your classmates and you only lived a few minutes away.

“I’ll be there in 10,” he swears. He pulls you against him, kissing you so hard you could barely breathe. You could hear his friends hooting in the background and you both pull apart, laughing.

“I love you,” he hums, breathlessly.

“I love you too,” you say, pecking another kiss to his lips before turning away. You could feel his eyes on you until you rounded the corner.

Suddenly you were tempted to stop by the corner store and grab some chocolate. You knew you and Jeff would probably grab dinner afterwards but you felt a serious sweet tooth coming on. You cross the street from outside your house to the corner store.

As you gather up a few candy bars and lay them on the counter, the cashier flashes you a wide smile, “Your boyfriend was just in here,” she says. The two of you had been in there so many times you were practically regulars, if that was a thing at convenience stores. You look over your shoulder through the door to try and spot Jeff but it’s too dark out.

“He’s a good boy, that one. You make a very sweet couple.”

“Thank you,” you nod, “He is. He’s great.”

You could see Jeff’s smile in your head. And then you hear it. The sound of bending metal and broken glass. You hear the crash.

You feel your chest tighten as you rush outside to see the an all too familiar car bent out of shape and an all too familiar face through the shattered glass of the window.

“NO!” you scream, rushing towards Jeff’s car where his body was slumped against the door, covered in blood. You feel arms wrap around you and pull you back just as you pry the door open. You turn around to find Clay staring at you, pale faced. You were already hysterical and in tears.

“Don’t move him,” he says, “You could make it worse. I already called an ambulance.”

“W-w- Clay, let me go!” you struggle, shoving against him. He barely flinches, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around you as you flailed around, kicking and screaming.

“I have to help him!” you sob, “I have to help him!”

You said it repetitively, even after the ambulance arrived. Even after they tried to save him and couldn’t. Even after they announced his time of death. Even after they pulled that god damn white sheet over his body and wouldn’t let you past the crime scene tape.

You rip through it anyways, pulling the sheet off his face and shaking him slightly, “Please,” you whimper, “I – I can’t live without you.”

Your mind replayed every kiss, every hug, every smile. Every night you slept next to him and every morning you woke up in his embrace. He’d changed your entire life and the plan was for him to keep changing it, beyond your five-year plan. You were meant to be together for the rest of your lives. He couldn’t be gone. You wouldn’t let him.

“Y/N,” Clay says, resting a hand against your shoulder.

A paramedic moved the stretcher with a sympathetic look on her face after a cop nudges the two of you away, pushing you back behind the tape.

I promised I would never let anything happen to him,” you croak, watching his body being loaded into the back of the ambulance in disbelief.

Friday The 13th

Sam has created a chatroom.

Sam has invited Y/N, Bruce, Thor, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, T’Challa, Loki.

Sam: Who came up with the horrible idea to make us stay at the most isolated and creepy camp ever?

Loki: I bet it was Stark, he is known to be quite theatrical.

T’Challa: No, it must have been Clint. He loves this kind of stuff.

Natasha: That’s true but it was not Clint.

Bucky: It was Tony who ushered us here, so him.

Loki: Only someone truly evil would come up with this.

Bruce: It was my idea.

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Boku No Hero Academia, Vol.7 Limited Edition Drama CD Translation : Sweep! Community Clean Up!

Disclaimer: Full translation of the drama CD which you can hear at this link, many thanks to op for sharing this lovely track. I got most of track 1 explanation from the manga so just a heads up. Loads of error probably, but I’m weak for my trash son baku so i just have to share it. Enjoy!

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