on the money red

Anon: You are amazing, cute, tenacious in a good way and are an amazing kisser. Plus you are super kind and sweet and I want you so badly.

Awwww shucks Anon, thanks, I’m both flattered and a little turned on. I just wish I knew who you were, if you were in my age range, single, cute, my type, not a complete fucking psychopath, going to cheat on me all the time, steal my ****, **** my friends, fuckover my friends, hit me, yell at me, smoke, hate pot but drink until you puke nightly like a 2 faced whore, complain I don’t have a large enough dick for you, bitch when I do anything nice because it’s not enough money spent or if you have red hair.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.