on the back of a car wash ticket

THIS ISNSO LONG

au prompts:
• you work at the car wash and you’re so cute so I decide to embarrass you by playing that car wash song from shark tale but I didn’t realise my window was open and oh you just splashed me
• I accidentally poked you in the face when I was pointing to a product I wanted on the shelf and now you are tending to your sore face I’m sorry are you okay
• it’s your first day as a pharmacist and we’re best friends so naturally I come in to watch you mess up but you’re actually doing really well and wow you look great in that uniform go you
• you came back to your car and realised your ticket ran out just as I’m about to leave so I give you my ticket and save you from the ticket inspector
• I’m ur landlord and ever since u moved here I’ve been visiting more often
• (cont) also you’re not allowed dogs but I’m letting you break the rules I swear I don’t fancy you
• I work in a charity shop and every few weeks you bring in massive bags of stuff you no longer want and while I stack them on the shelf I see that you’re giving away loads of cool items and are you crazy I love these! so I keep them for myself and hound you about them the next time I see you
• I work at Ann Summers and you accidentally walked in here thinking it was Topman which is actually next door and now you can’t stop blushing because you knocked over a lingerie stand you’re so cu t e
• I go bowling sometimes and accidentally shut down a lane by myself and you work here and reset it and now you’re ‘checking it works’ by playing a game w me but I’m so gonna win I’m bowling queen
• (cont) ok I lost but you should’ve seen how good their back looks in that shirt that’s cheating!!
• I found this band top I really want so I move it to a different clothes rack for when I come back bUT two hours later I see you buying the shirt and telling the shopkeeper how long you’ve been looking for smth like that and it was just there on a random shelf but you’re cute so I guess you can keep it but this is nOT over
• (cont) I’m in the same shop a few days later and you’re there in that damn t shirt and I want to rip it off you in like more way than one (so I confront you and we somehow start something special)
• at a friend’s wedding you tried out some magic trick and used me as the ‘beautiful assistant’ and you took off my expensive watch aND CANT GET IT BACK but you have a great sense of humour n I kinda want to search with u forever but I’m still pretending to be mad
• you’re one of those annoying callers so I try to confuse you on the phone with ‘Jim’s whore house, we got the hoe you got the dough’ but you aCtually play along and you’re probably gonna get fired but at least you have my number wanna meet up sometime?
• there’s this funfair and we both go on the bumper cars and idk how to work it oOPS I just bumped into you and now you’re cornered and idk how to reverse should we just scream at each other until the ride’s over?
• OR I keep going in reverse in this stupid bumper car and you work here so you try to help me but instead I run into you and I’m sorry you hurt your foot can I get out and you can drive us both
• we live by the seaside and every month there is this film club we go to but this time everyone else is ill or doesn’t like romantic films so we sit together and you end up crying on my shoulder at some soppy part and later, at like 9pm, we go in the arcades where you win a minion and we go for a walk along the beach where you throw it in the sea and you just polluted the sea with a minion but anyway I think I like you
• I’m staging a political protest and you just join me and like thanks no one has ever done that before wanna make out
• I hate reading but my friend signed me up to this reading club. This week it’s Shakespeare and I could write sonnets about how powerful your voice is when you read
• we’ve both entered a photography competition and every year you’ve won so this time I’m fed up and drop out only to find out you do too. turns out we like each other
• we’re sat next to each other on the same train for three hours and you can’t speak English too well so I teach you slang and when you stand up to go the train jolts and u fall on me and suddenly you mumble “bollocks” and everyone in first class looks at you in disgust it’s hilarious
• I work at one of those service stations and you are looking at condoms and ask me which ones are best and I think that’s the strangest thing ever but I’m slightly jealous.,,come back
• we work at the same place and you were supposed to take notes at the meeting but you’re accusing me and now we’re in the staff room whispering heatedly about how we’ll get fired and should we just both take the blame and take the argument to my place?
• you left hickeys all over my neck and I have church tomorrow…u do the math(s)
• you don’t have a palette so you’re literally using your tshirt as one I mean I’m impressed but idk if that’s about your rippling pectorals or your artistic ability
• I just heard some idiots screaming apple bottom jeans boots with the fur while skating down my road so I go outside n see you trailing behind because one wheel has fallen off, I have screwdrivers if you want (based on a real life event that happened to me but w kids)

2

The Case of the Clean Corpse

The death of Peter Watts has remained a confusing mystery for 40 years, one that police are still trying to solve.

Peter was a 15 year old living in Colwyn Bay, Wales. On January 18th, 1976, he left home around 4 pm and left a note saying he was going to a friend’s house to study. He didn’t come back. Instead, he was found by a taxi driver at around 1:33 am of the next day, dying in the Euston Road underpass, in London. His skull was fractured, his ribs were broken and had other internal injuries. He died at the hospital soon after, without regaining consciousness. He wasn’t identified until a week later.

At the time, police stated that his injuries were consistent with “a fall from a considerable height”, but there were a few things that didn’t make sense. Peter’s watch, glasses and wallet were gone, which suggested a robbery, but none of them were very valuable. More baffling, his body was so well scrubbed, it almost appeared to have been washed, and at first it was called “The case of the Clean Corpse”.  According to what police reported at the time, there wasn’t any dirt, not even on the head wound. The clothes he was wearing were equally clean and neatly pressed, and seemed to be “several sizes too wide”. The shoes had marks on the back of the heels as if he had been dragged. The conclusion seemed to be that Peter had been injured first, then washed, then left in the location where he was found. It definitely did not look like he had been hit by a car or fallen in those clothes.

Another mystery was what was Peter doing 220 miles away from home. The friend he was supposed to visit lived in Chester, 20 miles away from Colwyn Bay, and apparently he bought a round-trip ticket to there, but didn’t get off the train there. There’s a theory that he never even got on the train and he had no reason to go to London without telling anyone. Was he abducted?

This case is considered a homicide. British network ITV did a news report on this case for the 40th anniversary, and afterwards Scotland Yard says a new witness came forward, but so far they haven’t revealed what was his information

Phil’s Liveshow 3/9/2016

*many of these quotes are not word-for-word, but basically what he said

  • He was eating “Prawn Cocktail” Pringles while playing The Witcher 3 before he came on
  • The cat shirt is back! (the one with the secret pocket) found in the bottom of his closet
  •  lost his Captain America shirt :(( 
  • He was also wearing shorts (cheeky knee) & non-matching fox socks 

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Watching The Bees

“It’s been a rough couple of months.” Dean set his beer down against the wooden bar top and stared listlessly at the condensation slipping down the glass. “On all of us.”

Sam nodded. “I can’t imagine.”

“No, you can’t. I love him. I used to tell him that every single day. Now… now I tell him but it is more for me than him. I don’t even know if he really understands what it is I mean by it. I mean, the other day I told him that and he said ‘of course’. Like it was as normal as saying ‘hello’.” Dean closed his eyes and tried to calm the anger boiling inside of him. “Sometimes he looks at me and I don’t think he sees me.”

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