on my toes now

You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then, especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times. So each morning, I have the luxury of asking myself, “What shall I cook up for the kids today? Something with a little spice? Something with a little bitterness but is ultimately sweet? Or shall I take the day off and turn down the fire, and just take a moment to send my love to them over the ether?” Because sometimes, just being pure of heart and having good intentions and letting them be known is the most worthy contribution an artist can make. So, even though these times can feel a little bit crazy, they’re not so very different from what other generations have experienced at one time or another before. Amidst all the uncertainty, and as we transition out of one era into another one, there’s no place I’d rather be than smack dab in the middle of “Hollyweird” making this record for you. Because you, and the music, and this place, are my love, my life, my lust for life.
—  Lana Del Rey announces her new record Lust for Life

imagine sherlock and john getting kinda drunk one night and are fooling around and johns like “youre too tall” and sherlocks like “take it up with my father it’s his fault” and john actually does call mr. holmes up like “hello? you are too tall and made your son too tall and now i have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss him. how will you answer for these crimes”

Paint it  black and paint it white
Pull the blinds and meet the light
I see heaven up above
But I see you and I see love

And we’ve got a long road
We’ve got a burning coal
Sometimes it feels too hot to hold 
I hope it never goes cold

Very rough and lazy Zutara thing inspired by The Narrative’s newest song, Toe The Line. It’s hauntingly beautiful and I’m obsessed (please be obsessed like I am because it also gives me a lot of Zutara vibes)

“john? could you come here a minute? i need you.”
“hmm? you all right?”
“yes. i just need you to come here for a minute, that’s all.”
“yeah, ‘course. what’s up?”
“sit down, will you?”
“um. sure. is everything all right? sherlock?”
“yes, i just. could you scoot back a bit please?”
“o-kay, could you tell me – are you serious? did you call me all the way over here just to put your toes under my thigh? is that all?”
“heh. no, stay! you’re here, you might as well stay.”
“i was reading!”
“i was cold! john. i was cold. my toes are cold.”
“yes well…you could have told me to bring my book at least.”
“it’s nicer this way.”
“is it.”
“yes. because now you are warming up my toes and paying attention to me all at the same time.”
“heh. did you need a bit of attention, then?”
“no, i mean. it’s just nice, is all.”
“lemme guess. your lips are all cold too, are they?”
“well. i mean. if you’re offering to warm them up, yes, they are, a bit.”
“thought so. come here, then, so i can warm you up properly.” 

“The things I say to and around my roommate” sentence starters
  • Have fun. Don’t die. Don’t kill anyone. 
  • The coffee table bit me again dammit! 
  • I’m sorry that I woke you up by setting the smoke alarm off by cooking bacon but I’m definitely not sorry enough to give you any.
  • Welp, there goes my hopes and dreams. 
  • Welp, there goes my hopes and dream: wet and dirty. 
  • Keep your dirty socks from invading my dirty sock kingdom!
  • This donut’s for you- the other eleven are for me.
  • Of course they gave two bars of chocolate! One’s for me, the other one’s for future me!  
  • I wonder if I can buy the sweet embrace of Death at the store. 
  • *giggling* They’re freshly harvested potato people.
  • What is this gross stuff falling from the sky? 
  • My hands are as cold as my heart right now. 
  • My toes are turning purple and honestly I don’t know how to feel about this. 
  • Look at my lobster socks! 
  • No, ice cream! My socks do not want you! 
  • Your butt makes a good foot warmer. 
  • Suplex me to space and call it a day.

Remember that photo I mentioned earlier? We took it!

Keep reading

2

“You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then. Especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times. So each morning, I have the luxury of asking myself, “What shall I cook up for the kids today? Something with a little spice? Something with a little bitterness but is ultimately sweet? Or shall I take the day off and turn down the fire, and just take a moment to send my love to them over the ether?” Because sometimes, just being pure of heart and having good intentions and letting them be known is the most worthy contribution an artist can make. So, even though these times can feel a little bit crazy, they’re not so very different from what other generations have experienced at one time or another before. Amidst all the uncertainty, and as we transition out of one era into another one, there’s no place I’d rather be than smack-dab in the middle of “Holly-weird” making this record for you. Because you, and the music, and this place, are my love, my life, my lust for life."

Vore Prey Asks
  • Nom: How do you feel about preds giving you a little nibble or two (not enough to hurt, though)?
  • Mmm: Have preds ever told you what you taste like? Do you have any clue how you taste to predators?
  • Audio: Do stomach noises intimidate you when you're trapped inside, or relax you?
  • Company: Would you rather be eaten alone or with a friend?
  • Marshmallows: Does it bother you when preds ingest you when there's already food in their stomach?
  • Regrets: Do you ever have that moment when you regret letting your guard down around a predator?
  • Beat: How do heartbeats make you feel?
  • Situated: How long does it take you to make yourself at least remotely comfortable?
  • Pounding: When someone ingests you without your consent, do you relax and try to find a way out calmly or make a major fuss and unleash hell on their innards?
  • Whoops: How do you feel about accidental Vore, and do you blame the predator for it?
  • Explanation: Do you think preds need to tell you why they swallowed you?
  • Sorry: If a predator apologizes, do you forgive them?
  • Zzz: Do you end up falling asleep inside your predatory captors? Why? If no, why not?
  • The Fear: Are you phased by Vore, or are you perfectly comfortable with sliding down a predator's throat?
  • Picky: If you had to pick anyone you knew or looked up to to swallow you, what person would that be and why?
  • Bro: Do certain friends swallow you to show affection?
  • Metabolism: Are you easy-to-digest or indigestible?
  • Hard to Stomach: Do you typically force preds to spit you out?
  • Cocoon: Are stomachs a calming or unnerving place to be?
  • Pain Relief: Do you ever go down and try to cure a predator buddy's illnesses?

“Your tie is crooked.”
“Is it? I didn’t notice –”
“You should straighten it… here, let me do it for you.”

Scorpius looking after his smol bf is everything i need *lies down*

2

This kid

You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then. Especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times.
So each morning, I have the luxury of asking myself, “What shall I cook up for the kids today? Something with a little spice? Something with a little bitterness but is ultimately sweet? Or shall I take the day off and turn down the fire, and just take a moment to send my love to them over the ether?” Because sometimes, just being pure of heart and having good intentions and letting them be known is the most worthy contribution an artist can make. So, even though these times can feel a little bit crazy, they’re not so very different from what other generations have experienced at one time or another before. Amidst all the uncertainty, and as we transition out of one era into another one, there’s no place I’d rather be than smack-dab in the middle of “Holly-weird” making this record for you. Because you, and the music, and this place, are my love, my life, my lust for life.
Saraabe Toe (Your Mirage)
Kourosh Yaghmaei
Saraabe Toe (Your Mirage)

I heard this gem from 1975 by Iranian psychedelic rock artist Kourosh Yaghmaei during the LSD trip scene in this week’s episode of Vice Principals. Watching the episode I thought it was some neat cover of Lily Allen’s ’Littlest Things’, but I think I’ve found Mark Ronson’s inspiration for that pretty melody instead.

Outted || Jack Maynard Imgine

The sounds of cars whizzing past echoes in my ears. My feet move me across the concrete, a soft and warm hand links through mine. I squeeze the familiar hand acknowledging the person.

“I don’t care who sees us i just want to hold your hand,” A husky voice into my ear softly. I rake my eyes up to meet a shining pair of blue ones. I bite my lips softly.

“Okay,” I nod my head softly. Leaning my body into his slightly taller one. My side rested against his as we make our way into the familiar apartment complex. A brunette with camera in hand, vlogging himself, walks his way towards us. He spins its around to face us, our hands spring apart.

“If it isn’t the two best friends,” Joe teased, “Get inside.”

“Hello to you Joseph,” I says hugging him. He laughs pulling away from me.

“Hello Randy,” Joe greets embracing the boy who’s hand was once joined with mine. Joe turns off his camera.

“You guys don’t mind if I vlog tonight do you?” Joe asks skeptically. Mine and Jacks eyes meet and we share a pained look No being near each other tonight.

“Yeah i guess,” Jack mumbles under his breath.

“I’m sorry guys,” Joe says eyes looking at the ground. The guilt radiating off him in waves. The boys knew that Jack and I were dating, but we weren’t ‘out’ to the public yet.

“It’s fine,” I shake my head, attempting to change the conversation, “So what are the plans of the night?”

Joe perks up at the mention of the night. “Let’s just all hang out at my place and get smashed, yeah?”

I laugh and nod my head, following Joe and Jack as they make their way Through the apartment complex and up to Joe’s apartment.

As the night progressed and I drank more and more drinks, I was beyond tipsy.

“Hi,” Jack whispers in my ear lowly.

“I have a boyfriend,” I slur pushing him away from me softly.

“You’re drunk as fuck, babe,” Jack says attempting to place his hand in mine. I pull away quickly and poke his chest with my index finger.

“You need to stop or my boyfriend is going to have something to say about this.”

“Y/N I’m Jack, your boyfriend,” He says as if he’s explaining it to a child.

“You are?” I ask blinking my eyes rapidly to try and clear the now blurry image.

I giggle and stand on my toes to kiss him. He turns his head leaving me kissing his cheek. I pout and try to turn his head back to i can kiss him properly.

“Nuh-uh drunk, lets get you home now,” Jack says dragging me along and back to his apartment. Shortly after arriving at his apartment i pass out.

The next morning i wake up to Jack groaning and a phone buzzing relentlessly.

“Y/N please turn it off,” He says turning over to face me. Blinking my eyes open i pick up my phone and look at what’s making it go crazy.

“Fuck,” I say as my E/C eyes rake over the notifications on my phone.

“What?” Jack asks throwing his arm over my stomach. He pulls me closer to him.

“We’ve been outed.”

“What do you mean babe?”

“You know how last night i tried to kiss you? Joe got our conversation beforehand in a snap chat.” I say turning my phone off and locking eyes with Jack.

“Well,” He begins, “Guess we’re official now.”

“Four months later,” I say laughing, placing my lips on his softly.

“How are you not hungover?” He asks in between kisses.

“Magic,” I wink.

8

Lust for Life // Lana Del Rey
“You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then. Especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times.”

Meeting Zalfie || Joe Sugg Imagine

“Love you ready to travel down to meet my family?” Joe says trapping me in his arms, kissing the side of my head softly.

“I’m never going to be ready,” I mumble, attempting to break away from his grasp, but Joe being Joe, he doesn’t let me instead squeezing me into his chest tighter.

“It’s all going to be perfect,” He whispers kissing my cheek, letting me go and walking to his room grabbing our bags and taking them down to his car. Joe was going to drive us down to Brighton so that I could meet his sister, Zoe and her boyfriend, Alfie We were going to be staying with Zoë for a few days. I had been so nervous to meet his family, fear of rejection plaguing my thoughts.

“I’m leaving with or without you so I suggest you get you cute little ass down here and come meet my family with me,” Joe yells into his apartment, I chuckle softly putting my phone into my pocket making my way out of his apartment locking the door. I follow Joe, he opens the car door for me. I grin up at him and stand on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. I step into the car and sit down. Joe makes his way into the car and we begin our journey to the Zalfie household.

“Are you stressed about today?” Joe asks I jump slightly, we had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

I nod my head slowly, “Yeah, a little, but its normal, I think,” I trail off giggling softly, Joe brings a joined hands up to his face. He presses his lips to the back of my hand softly. I feel the butterflies in my stomach whenever he’s around, goes insane. A wave of emotion hits me like a truck.

“Hey Joe,” I say softly after a few more minutes of quiet driving, He hums in response, “I love you.” We hadn’t said that we loved each other yet, we just knew.

I watch him as he concentrates on the road in front of him before he realizes what I’ve said. He looks over at me grinning widely, a blush spreading over his cheeks. He continues to smile and lean towards the steering wheel a shy smile gracing his features. He looks back to me, “I love you too,” is all he says, we go back to sitting in silence, my hand still held tightly in his.

A few hours later we arrive at the Zalfie household the nerves build back up, but I bury them when I see the excitement evident on my gorgeous boyfriend’s face. I watch as he eagerly makes his way around to me taking my face into his hands kissing me softly, I grin into our kiss knowing what it meant.

“Are you guys just going to make out in my front yard or are you going to come inside and say hello?” I jump away from Joe, blushing when I realize that it was Zoe.

“Wow Zo, Killing my game much,” Joe chuckles making his way over to his sister embracing her. I slowly make my way over to where the two are stood, I wrap my arms around my waist not knowing what to do with myself. Joe pulls away from Zoe, and takes a step towards me taking my hand in his, he always seems to know what to do when I need him to something.

“Hello Y/N, it’s nice to finally get to meet you, I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve heard of you,” She giggles softly, “Please come inside make yourself right at home.” she says opening the door for me to step through, I look back at Joe watching as he nods “I’ll be in soon love, just need to get our bags,” I look back to Zoe smiling and following her inside, once we’re inside her living room, she takes me into her arms making me laugh slightly, “Thank you,” she whispers into my ear.

“For what?” I finally use my voice.

“You make my brother so happy, I’m so glad that you both found each other,” She lets go of me tears gathered in her eyes.

“Please don’t cry,” I say panic evident on my face, she laughs softly.

“You’re as bad with emotions as Joe is,” She smiles over at me.

“You’d be surprised on how romantic your brother is, well normally, I was the first to say I loved him, which was in the car on the way here,” I nervously babble out.

“Wait you guys said that you loved each other for the first time today?” She asks staring at me with her mouth open.

“Uh,” I trail off, “Yeah?”

She bursts out laughing. “You guys are so cute, Hey Alf come here!” She calls out to Alfie.

I see a tall man make his way into the room that Zoe had led me into. “Hello, I’m Alfie, it’s nice to finally meet you Y/N,” Alfie says hugging me.

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” I say stepping back from the couple, Joe make is way into the room, and wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder.

“I love you,” He whispers kissing my cheek, making my blush a deep red.

“So Y/N I feel like as your future sister in law I’m legally obligated to tell you embarrassing stories about Joe,” Zoe says laughing when Joe groans burying his face in my neck. I laugh and nod my head, “Please do, Then I can tell you stories of our relationship,” I wink at her.

“Oh my God, Yes!” She takes my hand in hers and drags me away from the boys, “Come with me,”

I giggle following her into her second living room, we sit on the floor and that’s where we sit swapping stories for hours, eventually, our girl talk being crashed by our respective boyfriends.

“So do the fans know yet?” Alfie asks. Joe nods his head, “She basically lives at my housemate, if they didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to vlog,” He chuckles kissing the side of my head quickly.

“We’ve known about you for ages Y/N/N, Joseph hasn’t been hiding you from us, Alfie is just trying to figure out the rules for videos,” Zoe says laughing.

“Yeah this kid doesn’t shut up about you, like ever,” Alfie laughs at Joe’s obvious embarrassment. I spin my head to the man that’s sitting next to me, I raise an eyebrow, he looks down to his jeans, “Like what?” I direct the question to Alfie seeing how red I can get my boyfriend’s cheeks. I watch as his eyes snap up to Alfie and widen, the red on his cheeks becomes more apparent. Alfie, Zoe and I all burst out laughing.

“Don’t tell her mate,” Joe warns, challenging Alfie with his eyes.

“Why not buddy? I’m sure Zoe and Y/N would love to hear that story,” Alfie laughs. I turn my gaze away from my Boyfriend and place my eyes on Alfie.

“Okay, now you actually have to tell me,” I say concern flashing over my face, Zoe’s face is locked on Joe’s, “What happened?” I glance over each face.

“Mate, I’m going to have to tell her,” Alfie says, worry clear in his eyes.

“I’m right here, I can hear you,” I feel anxiety bubble in my chest.

“Fine, but if she breaks up with me I’m going to beat your ass,” Joe mumbles laying his body down. Joe wraps his arms around my waist, calming me down. He loves me.

“Okay so before you guys got together Joe, Marcus and myself went away, and during them few days, he wouldn’t shut up about this girl that he had met, Y/N, but the thing is is that he thought that you were into Caspar,” Alfie says, I laugh softly.

“That’s really all that you didn’t want me to know?” I look down at my boyfriend who shakes his head ‘no’, I bite my lip.

“I didn’t want him to tell you, how he helped me plan our first date, but since we’re on the topic of things I didn’t want you to know, I didn’t say 'i love you’ first because I still think you’re joking about being into me,” He says standing up and walking out of the room. My mouth falls open, tears prick my eyes.

“Uh, I’ll go talk to him,” I mumble following him up to the guest bedroom.

“Joe? What was that?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his waist. His arms are bracing him against the wall.

“Please just pretend you don’t know how insecure I am,” He mutters spinning around to face me.

“I love you, insecurities and all,” I say standing on my tip toes to kiss him, “Now please have a good time, and relax a little, I like knowing all the little things about you,” I wink.

Instead of saying anything he presses his lips to mine, the kiss is sweet and innocent. We are hopelessly in love. I pull away from him and hold his face in mine, “By the way you’re way hotter than Caspar,” I wink making my way down the stairs back to where Zoe and Alfie are sat. I smile at them subtly letting them know that he was alright, “He’s okay,”

I watch as the two look to each other and back up to me, “What?”

“He loves you a lot, but I’ve never seen him be so un-Joe-like before, He’s a completely different person,” Zoe says, a small frown gracing her features. I feel the anxiety bubble in my chest again, “Is that a bad thing?”

Her eyes speak the words she’s too afraid to say, “Oh,” is all I say, picking up my phone from her coffee table, “I’ll be back soon, I’m just going for a walk,” I exit the house before she or Alfie can stop me.

I turn my phone off when I can no longer see the house, tears well up in my eyes. I let my feet take me in any direction they choose and before I know it I’m at the sea, I take a deep breath. The smell and sound of the ocean are so calming to me. I take a step onto the beach and sit on the stones. I feel the tears begin to fall, I lay my back down on the stones and think about Zoë, is she right? had I changed Joe? I’m a bad person, I don’t deserve him. I lay there for a while longer with my eyes closed. I open them after I had finished crying and sit up when I notice that it’s dark out.

“Well fuck,” I mumble under my breath. I turn my phone back on and notice that I have fifteen missed calls from Joe. I hear the sound of steps on the stones.

“I wish you hadn’t of left you know?” I here Zoe’s voice say, “You sent my brother into quite the anxiety attack.” I glance up at her and back to the sea in front of me.

“I-i,” I attempt to talk but Zoe cuts me off.

“I really like you, I love you and Joe, But it’s weird seeing him so in love,” She says sitting down next to me, “I told him that you’d be here, I can tell that it’s your safe place as well as mine, but that boy was far too upset to listen to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Is all I say.

“He loves you so much. I’m sorry if I said something that offended you, but all I meant by it was that you are both acting ways too grown up for your age, Hell you’re what? 22? Joes 25. You guys are both already better adults than I am,” She laughs making me laugh, “But please just try and have fun, I’ve never seen him like this with anyone,” I nod my head.

“He’s my other person,” I say shrugging, “Have you met your brother? I don’t think that he’s mature at all,” I chuckle.

“You ready to come home now?” Zoe asks standing up, holding her hand out for me to take, “I drove so we won’t freeze getting home.”

I smile and take her hand standing up. I hug her, “Thank you Zo,” We make our way to her car and back to her house.

Joe is stood out the front, worry evident on his face. I step out of the car and make my way over to Joe,  "Why did you leave?“ He asks pulling me into his chest.

"I just wanted to go for a walk,” is all I say, not wanting him to feel like I don’t like Zoe. I lean up to kiss him softly, “I’m okay,”

“You turned your phone off,” He pouts, I look around and notice that Zoe has gone inside to Alfie.

“I’m okay, you’re okay, let’s go inside and do something with your sister that doesn’t involve either of us walking off,” I chuckle taking his hand, pulling him inside after me.

Can I ask of you guys to make dua for my mom? She dropped a large bowl on her toe and now it’s fractured and causing her severe pain. JazakAllahu Khairan.

Exercise is good for the soul.

Fluffy nonsense with Fitness instructor Tom.

Author Ladyoftheteaandblood.

“Good Morning Ladies. Welcome to my Fitness Class, Lets get started with a gentle warm up”

“Trust me  Mr, the moment I saw you I was ready and warmed up!”

“Alice hes talking, be quiet and listen”

“ ladies  touch your toes, don’t push it at first just gently stretch down and see how far you can get”

“Oh I know how far I want to get, Tom dear”

“Alice shut up”

“Oh god! hes turned round so we can see the back view, that sight will be with me all week”

“Alice do shut up and touch your toes”

“I don’t want to touch my toes I want to touch….”

“Now ladies a gentle jog on the spot raising those knees as high as you can get, like this.”

“Come on you two ladies at the back, you aren’t trying. Do you want me to come back there and sort you out?”

“Alice try harder”

“Are you kidding? at this moment in time, I couldn’t be trying harder, to not try harder in my life”

“Ladies get yourself ready for the big push and lets get started for real, I want you to give it all you’ve got and I want to see some thrust in those hips, like this….”

“Mr Hiddleston Dear…. Alice seems to have passed out”

“Is she breathing?”

“Tell him no!”

(pictures not mine I just played)

@anovidelonghi @angryschnauzer @antyc67 @aliceada @archy3001 @abfoster1s @aggro-femme @bluegrasscontessa @booksandcatslover @damageditem @dorito82 @echantedbytwh @enchantedbyhiddles @eve1978 @feelmyroarrrr @frenchblondgirl @heathermc13 @izhunny @larouau12 @lolawashere @lostinspace33 @maevecurrywrites @markruffalo @mrshiddelston @october-green @ourladybinxthings @oeffsee @peskipixi @prplprincez @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @the-haven-of-fiction @the-lady-mischief @servent-alearika @siyoteodiara @sf0206 @tinaferraldo @tomkurbikston @tomhiddleston-kikibfairy @tomforachange @neither-blue-nor-green @nuggsmum @lordjohnandtom @kellarter @omnino