@persimonne sorry it took so long! I liked your suggestion to write this but it took a while to get to it. I hope this is okay!
Padmé examined her father’s face with extreme curiosity. Quietly tracing his features and pinching his ears and nose. Kylo sat still, obediently allowing his precious child to yank at his face. He twitched and grimaced with every rough grab, but otherwise allowed Padmé to do as she pleased. Anything to keep her happy.
Rey sat watching from across the room, curious as to why her daughter suddenly took such a keen interest in Kylo’s face. She watched her child glance back and forth between her parents, and then pat her own cheeks-
Oh, she was curious about her looks.
“I have Mama’s eyes.” She stated matter-of-factly, expression serious. Kylo cracked a smile, and nodded.
“Yes, I believe I’ve told you that?” He asked, smiling brightly. Padmé pouted, and crossed her arms across her chest. “Her attitude as well, you seem to have inherited.” Rey rolled her eyes, and smirked in their direction.
“You call it attitude, I call it backbone.”
Padmé carefully traced Kylo’s face as he laughed, fingers lingering on the scar across his face.
“How did you get hurt, Papa?”
Kylo glanced over at his wife, who was now looking particularly guilty as she fiddled with the papers in front of her.
“Papa was being stupid. So Mama had to smack some sense into me.” Rey bit her lip, and looked over, examining his scar carefully. Padmé glared back at her mother, again angry for her past actions against her precious father.
“Mama sounds mean. Why would you hurt Papa?”
“In my defence, he did kidnap me, throw me into a tree, and everything.” Rey called over, trying to meet Kylo’s eyes. Kylo smirked, clearly not as mournful as his wife.
“We all make mistakes. Papa deserves this scar. As I said Padmé, papa was being very stupid.“ Rey shifted uncomfortably, and stood up to join her family. “Besides, I like it. Makes me look intimidating.” Kylo declared in a dark voice, practically a low growl. Padmé stared back blankly, unimpressed.
“Papa isn’t scary.” Kylo gasped, hand to his chest in an over-dramatic fashion that was so starkly different from how he usually acted. He always seemed to slip into this persona when Padmé asked serious questions.
“What? Papa isn’t scary?! I’ll have you know I’m the scariest monster in the galaxy!” He declared, standing up and swinging Padmé into the air above him, sending her into a fit of giggles. “People across the system fear Papa’s name, and quake at the sight of him!”
Rey flinched back. Kylo smiled goofily at her, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
i’m not really involved in this community very much i’ve noticed, and while that doesn’t bother me a whole lot i am starting to question the point of even trying lately
i’m like a spectator. laughing at things and getting angry at things from afar but that’s about it
unfortunately i don’t know what else i could do to help my case. sometimes it’s hard keeping a conversation going. it’s hard to write lore and build characters for me, too. i just keep buying gen ones and showing them off, and occasionally posting art, which has become hard as well because i feel like i always have to draw dragons now. gone are the days where i had a variety of different characters to interact with (my problem, i know)
idk what i’m trying to get at here. like i see tons of other artists in this community coming together and i’m just..too different to get involved with a lot of them (i also don’t try hard because of depression and my struggle to put effort into things tbh) i draw dragons, not humans/human-like beings. the dragons i draw are one-offs a lot of the time, except peppermint who i guess is just my FR honst. i don’t have like, any written lore so nobody would get interested anyways
i guess i just feel like closing this blog down after i get a few more things taken care of and try to figure out something else. i’ve had this blog since like..2012 so 5 years is a pretty good run, i think. i really don’t see a point in it anymore
draco and harry making a bet against each other on who could survive the longest without sexually touching each other.
a week in, draco almost catches harry sneaking glances at his lips the next lesson they share together, likewise draco packs his bag as slow as he can to catch a glimpse of harry’s ass as he walks out the classroom.
two weeks in, harry thinks draco licking his pudding like that should be illegal. draco doesn’t return harry’s gaze but leaves the great hall with the biggest grin on his face.
three weeks in, harry decides “fuck it” and tells goyle to scram as he sits next to malfoy during transfiguration. draco doesn’t bat an eye at the suspicious looks they’re getting from the class because harry is gripping his hand so tight underneath the table and the faintest of smirk is on draco’s face because “Potter best have his money prepared.”
four weeks in, draco didn’t know harry could be such an exhibitionist as he walks into potions class with his tie loosened, hair messier than it initially was, shirt untucked and is harry wearing contacts?
on the fifth week, harry completely forgets about the bet as he eats lunch with ron and hermione in the great hall but can’t ignore the sudden sound of muffled whispering followed by people pointing to the gryffindor table when his gaze finally lands on the blonde mop of hair making its way to where harry was sitting. “shove over.” draco sneers as he plomps himself down in between harry and ron. “what do you think you’re doing here?” ron says appalled at his abrupt proximity to malfoy. the hall was quiet by now and draco simply says “what, weasel? a boy can’t sit next to his boyfriend?” as he locks his fingers in harry’s hair and reels him in for a kiss.
i love your art its so beautiful and so nice to look at. do you have any tips on how to get better at art? im not to happy with my art and would like any tips you have to offer! thank you in advance!
Thank you so much friendo!
I feel like this advice is either going to be helpful or sound like utter bollocks to you. Sorry if it’s the latter.
For physical technical skill, there are tonnes and tonnes of YouTube videos and websites dedicated to helping you with drawing! Im not gonna talk about it on this reply, but I’m happy to talk through some specific physical skill related stuff if you ask!
What I want to talk about is the reason I think we hate to hear “just practice” as an answer so much - even though it’s the best answer anyone can give.
For me, getting better at art is all about having the confidence to accept that not everything I draw is gonna be a masterpiece. I said the word confidence because I used to frequently open up Sai and then just not draw because I knew what I’d draw would be “bad”- Or I would draw something and then delete it or not post it because there were too many parts of it I hated.
People say to practice practice practice, but I know how hard it is to just blindly do that over and over when what’s coming out isn’t what you’d hoped for. It’s disheartening as hell. So that’s why acceptance and self tolerance has to come with it.
Be kinder to yourself and your work.
Rather than thinking “I hate this drawing”, take a step back and think “drawing this made me realise some mistakes I’ve been making in my anatomy/colour/etc. Next time I might try something else”
The “next time” is crucial because you’re not torturing yourself over one drawing, desperately trying to fix it. youre accepting that that drawing is part of the greater learning curve, as was the drawing before, as was the drawing before.
play around with things like the expressiveness of your drawing, the colour or composition and find the thing YOU enjoy playing around with the most and work on it. Remember, you don’t have to be an all rounder to be a great drawer.
have a close look at some of your favourite artists and try to suss out WHY you like their work, then apply that to your own. But for gods sake, don’t compare yourself to them.
And remember: maybe your work isn’t as polished as you might like it to be, but there is only one person in the whole world who can draw like you, and it’s you! Don’t underestimate that fact.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA HUGE ASS NERD!! get ready to read some sappy shit! i have to start this out by saying thank you, haven’t had someone i could call my best friend for years and now i finally feel like i have a best friend and i couldn’t be happier about it, we’ve only known been friends for a couple months, not even a whole school year but i feel like we’ve been friends forever. thanks to you i feel comfortable being who i am and not caring too much about what people will think. thanks to you i know what it feels like to love and be loved in return, i’m not talking about romantic love but rather a love that is stronger than that, the kind that is just so easy to feel when your around someone you care about so much, id fight everyone and anyone for you and i hope you know that no matter what time of day of how far away i am of you call or text or DM me i will always be with you to help you with whatever you need! i can’t thank you enough for everything but most importantly for being someone who i can talk so openly about how i feel without worrying they would leave if i say the wrong thing. you’ve been so helpful with more than you know, because you’re so open about being gay i feel like i’ve become more confident and comfortable with doing that myself. thank you for not only becoming my best friend but also someone whom i’ve grown to admire. (ps i was going to write this is your year book but i really wanted to post some sappy shit about how lovely you are bc it’s your birthday)
Mikayla @accio-sawyer @actually-hermione-granger
p.s. i know i’m seeing you in just a couple of hours but i just had to make a happy birthday post
okay, so I'm blushing as I'm typing this. BUT. I was wondering how do you think tyler would react to you saying that you want him to, um, use toys on you and you saying that you, want him to, uh, watch you use those toys on yourself. I need to soak myself holy water.
This is the cutest most innocent thing I’ve ever read and I adore you with every fiber of my being AND YOU NEED TO BE PROTECTED OMG. DON’T BE EMBARRASSED THAT’S A HOT FANTASY OKAY, I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT, omg you’re so precious, I love you okay, THIS IS SO VANILLA COMPARED TO OTHERS OF THESE I HAVE BEEN SENT, pls.
Okay so let’s start off with setting the scene, I don’t know if it would be a direct asking type thing alright. And I don’t even know like if you would be dating each other yet in this scenario either, okay hold up, imma write this whole lil thing for you my precious little angel baby. I may have made Tyler a tad too smooth and dominating in this LMAO OOPS, SORRY IT’S WHAT CAME TO ME (ha, get it, came.)
You answered the face-time, a cheery smile plastered on your face as you saw the face that had been absent from your life for the past few weeks, your best friend, and crush, having been on tour. Your heart skipped a beat as he ran a hand messily through his tousled wet hair, your eyes soaking in his surroundings. You crooked an eyebrow as you saw his room, bag packed neatly on the bed, no sign of the 20 year old’s usual mess anywhere to be seen. Your question quickly died on your tongue as you his voice sounded in your ears, deep and sleepy. Your breath caught slightly in your throat, tingles running down your spine at the sound.
“How’s my love been?” his tired eyes shone with a playful twinkle, the smile tugging at his lips causing yours to grow.
“Mmm, good, tired. Miss you,” you mumbled out, placing your stuff onto the counter, peeling off your shoes before making your way to your bedroom. Idle conversation filled the ear as you placed your phone on your bed, moving around the room to strip out of your work clothes and into pajamas, which consisted of one of Tyler’s old shirts and a pair of shorts.
Idle chit chat died down into a comfortable silence as you snuggled against your pillows, soaking in the features you had come to miss. “Is it everything you hoped it would be?” the small whisper breaking through the silence, a sort of chuckle pushing past his lips.
“Probably not everything,” he started off, eyes blanking a bit before looking back up, your face etched with concern. He quickly brushed it off, his features lighting up as he talked about his matches, the people he had met, so on and so forth.
20 minutes had passed before he was needing to get off. A half an hour was the longest the two of you had seen each other since he had left. You stared at the small numbers lighting up your phone screen, signaling that you had a very long night ahead of you, being only 9:15, with no work the next day and no best friend to go out with.
3 hours, one pizza, and one rom com later, you were in a pit of boredom. Your eyes flickered to the small clock atop the stove, ignoring the small voice in your head telling you to go to sleep. Instead, you opted for something more fun. The padding your feet teetered across the cool wood floors as you made your way to your bedroom, teeth biting into your bottom lip in anticipation. Your fingers waded through your underwear drawer, pulling out a pink vibrator. While it had been slightly smaller than your other toys, it was still your favorite, being behind several mind numbing orgasms.
You situated yourself on your bed, lighting the small candles on your nightstand and dimming the lights, really setting the mood for yourself. You tugged off your shorts, your panties following behind, tossed into a puddle on the floor. You lifted the t-shirt a bit, it also becoming a necessity in these times to yourself, allowing your fingers to trace against the swell of your breasts, thoughts of Tyler making sure you knew who you belonged to dancing across your imagination, of him catching you, using the toy before claiming you for himself.
A shaky breath left your throat as the vibrations finally touched against your bundle of nerves, before you were slowly pushing it in, your wetness having been enough for it to fit comfortably. Mere seconds of the vibrations mixed with the subtle movements, your eyes were screwed shut, small chants of Tyler’s name falling past your lips. You were so immersed in your own little world, the sound of the front door opening only alarming the walls.
A small whimper passed your lips, pictures appearing against your closed eyes. You felt the knot begin to tighten, whimpering out a small “Tyler, please,” begging for release from your own imagination.
“Please what,” the voice was deep, husky, and recognizable. Your eyes shot open, the image of Tyler standing there, palming his obvious erection, speeding up your orgasm, a lewd moan filling the air as you removed the toy from quickly, moving to pull the shirt over as much of your body as it could. “Did you just-”
“N-no, I just,” you whispered out, a rose color dusting across your cheeks. “W-when did you get back, I thought you’d be longer?” Your body moved back a bit, a predatory look in Tyler’s darkened eyes as he moved towards your bed. Your nerves tingled with a mixture of anxious excitement, your features mimicking that of a wounded deer caught by a big, bad wolf. You bit back a moan as you watched him pick up the pink toy, a wolfish smirk plastering on his face before you were laying back, your legs pulling themselves apart.
“Good girl,” your pussy clenched at his words, one of his hands holding your hips from bucking as the vibrations hit your already sensitive clit. “M’flight landed about a half hour ago,” he started, eyes trained on the vibrator disappearing into your pussy before he pulled it back out again. “Thought you would be sleeping, so I used my key,” a moan slipped past your lips as he turned up the speed, thrusting the toy in a rough manner, your back arched in delight as his hand trailed from your hips, the shirt being torn over your head, lips falling against the valley of your breasts as his hand traced over your side.
“Tyler, I’m close, so close, so close, please,” normally you were not one to beg, but this, Tyler, he was different. His small bit of laughter sounded against your chest, his kisses then falling against your throat.
“Not yet love,” his response was soft, voice light as a feather, yet commanding. Your eyes fluttered open as his facial hair tickled your cheek, his lips moving against your ear. “Came back early, had something to do,” you whined as his motions slowed down, a small ‘what’s that,’ falling from your lips. “Take you with me,” Your eyes met his for a brief second before his lips were falling against yours, the slowness of the kiss clashing with the speed of the toy.
A small whisper of the word ‘now’ against your lips and you let go, your orgasm washing over you, any noise being caught by Tyler’s lips. You panted slightly as he pulled his lips away, relishing in the purrish whimper you gave him as he slowly pulled the toy past your walls. You watched his movements with hooded eyes, his clothes quickly becoming one with yours before he was hovering over you, eyes bleeding into yours for permission.
The second you whimpered out the word yes, his lips became bruising against yours, a condom placed quickly and shakily over his erection before he teasingly rubbed against your folds. “You’re mine now love,” before you could utter a response, he would thrust into you, your words caught on your tongue, breath being knocked away from you, your pussy clenching and throbbing with delight.
Kagami-sensei was so kind, even when signing for #29 of a line surpassing 120. Everyone was given the same large card/poster to get signed and yes, that is my name in the top right. My translation of our conversation is as follows:
KS: So are you Japanese?
Me: No, I’m American. Though right now, I live in Japan.
KS: wow! Your Japanese is great.
Me: Oh not really, but thank you very much.
KS: So who is your favorite character?
Me: Definitely Guren.
KS: Ah, I agree. He’s a strong man, ne? A very cool guy for sure (^-^)
Me: Yes. That is why I also like the light novels you write about him.
KS: Really? You read them?!
Me: Of course : )
KS: *handing me my signed card and shakes my hand* How amazing. Thank you so much for your support!
Me: Ah, thank you very much! Take care, sensei.
So ya. The first girl was practically crying while getting it signed, it was precious haha. He had a great sense of humor and took his time for each person, conversing with them while he signed. He also took a picture with a pair of Guren and Goshi cosplayers and posted it on his Twitter, the guy was just as thrilled as everybody else there.
I just reached 200 followers!!!! THANK YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH!!! This means so much to me and I wanna thank you guys by doing a little celebration 💖 I’ll be doing HP fancasts, ships, and name aesthetics :) Rules:
•must be following me
•reblog this post (please get it to at least 15 notes or it’s a flop)
•send me an ask with the corresponding emojis and any info I might need for it! Details below:
HP FANCAST ⭐️
Send me your selfie tag, and if you don’t have one/don’t wanna share it that’s perfectly okay 💕 just tell me a bit about yourself!! SHIP 🐝
I’ll need your ‘about me’ page (or you can just tell me about you, what you look like, your interests, your personality, etc etc), a preferred hp era, and a preferred gender for a hp ship
I will ship from marauders, trio, and next gen eras! NAME AESTHETIC 🌻
Just send me your name along with the emoji and i’ll tell you the lovely things your name reminds me of
hp aesthetic fancast format: House:: gryffindor | hufflepuff | slytherin | ravenclaw Ilvermorny house:thunderbird | wampus | horned serpent | pukwudgie Favorite subject: charms | transfiguration | defense against the dark arts | potions | herbology | astronomy | history of magic | divination | care of magical creatures | ancient runes Favorite place: common room | the lake | library | hogsmeade | forbidden forest | the great hall | kitchens | room of requirement | astronomy tower Quidditch Position: keeper | beater | chaser | seeker | commentator | spectator Best Friend:
So I probably should provide an explanation for the amount of replies building up in my drafts. My internet connection has been down this whole time. I’m really sorry to all the people who have threads with me (especially the musical event threads). I’m considering just drafting everything in word, going to a place with Internet, and posting them all at once. I don’t like seeing things pile up in my drafts. Hopefully, this issue gets resolved. If any other problems come up, I probably have to come up with something (for all my other muses and stuff). Again, sorry for the inconvenience.
We now know that Wilden was involved with helping Charlotte. We know they went to Cape May together with Melissa, someone else still shrouded in mystery.
According to Jenna, Wilden saw Ali the night she disappeared. We still don’t know what happened with that. See this post http://blackveilsociety.tumblr.com/post/123394158104/alison-saw-wilden-the-night-she-disappeared
We know that Wilden helped cover everything up from that night, but this meeting would have happened before anyone was hit or buried, as it would have been when Alison was wandering around rosewood meeting with everyone. So why don’t we know anything else about this yet?
As a cop Wilden would have many opportunities to plant evidence and lead investigations off track. He had access to resources to find out about everyone and conduct surveillance. We know there has been tons of corruption with Rosewood PD.
No one seems to have known Wilden until he was already older and out of school (Cape May time). All we know is he attended Rosewood High. He could have a connection with someone (maybe Bethany) that we don’t know about.
Speculation that he was part of the NAT club.
Mary and Rollins used a Wilden mask to terrorize Ali with- WHY? Ian would be so much more relevant considering she even pushed him off that bell tower. Why in the world would they choose Wilden? There were also the pictures of Wilden in Rollin’s burner apartment. Maybe that’s how they got the mask made BUT it’s quite interesting that when Alison was seeing “Jessica” it wasn’t a mask at all, it was just Mary.
Wilden is Alive – He Faked his Death.
Marlene has said that someone stole the game from Mona in season 3. We know this was apparently Charlotte, but with the reveal that Noel had been helping her all along I think it’s reasonable to theorize there were other helpers. Wilden died at the end of season 3 and his body was found in the season 4 premiere. Could his death have been a way for him to devote all of his time to the A game? I personally get the feeling Noel has been blackmailed the entire time and I wouldn’t be surprised if Wilden was helping Charlotte dig up dirt on him.
Around the time of Wilden’s death is when A was baiting Toby with information about his mom. A police officer would have had access to information about Marion’s death. Charlotte’s reveal left major plot holes around Marion’s death, which I believe is because that story was not true.
Who got framed for Wilden’s death? Ashley Marin. Why would A all of a sudden target a parent like that? Other parents have been targeted but not for something so serious. Who did Wilden have a grudge against? Ashley Marin. It’s perfect for him to try to get back at her by pinning her with his own “murder’.
He was always sure to give Hanna trouble because of it as well. I think that WILDEN KIDNAPPED HANNA earlier this season. They have led us to believe that it was Noel instead of Rollins, but I don’t think it was Noel either.
In season 3 Garrett was framed for Ali’s murder. Wilden and Garrett were both cops, it would probably be easy for Wilden to frame him. Wilden was also dressed as a Queen of Hearts on the Halloween train when Garrett was killed. Garret was probably getting suspicious of him and realized he was breaking all sorts of rules on the job and involved in something sketchy.
When Cece/Charlotte was arrested for Wilden’s murder, she somehow escaped right after she was interviewed by Holbrook. I think she told Holbrook that Wilden is alive. She either blackmailed him so that he wouldn’t tell and would help them, or he decided to join their side for some reason.
After this, Holbrook seemed to do a 180 change in personality and started to get closer to Alison (visiting her house, kissing her at the Ice Ball). I think he was then being blackmailed by Cece and Wilden or something and doing their dirty work.
After he got suspended from the police force he gets mad at Hanna and says it is all Ali’s fault – that he did her dirty work and then got dumped. But this has never been brought up again! I think he told Hanna it was Ali’s dirty work but really it was Charlotte’s.
He even could have ruled Mona’s death a homicide to help Cece and Wilden move their dollhouse plan.
I love how you draw water! Do you have any tutorials? I'm on mobile so I can't read ur faq
i actually dont have an faq atm haha
honestly i usually just overlay a water texture bc the program i use is really limited when it comes to paint brushes, i see a lot of people with digital painting styles use low density brushes to blend and mimic traditional paint but you just cant really do that with firealpaca ;_; typically i have to mess with it a bit (especially since i do all my coloring on one layer and it messes with clipping textures) BUT its still pretty straight forward
tada! i usually mess with it a bit more to get the colors looking how i want them, bc as you can see clipping only changes the shape of the overlay and not the colors (so you pretty much have to depend entirely on opacity to get it the exact color you want ;_;). i sometimes rely on just low opacity blue w some light blue highlights, but for the most part i just use overlays.
Three days later Madge paced in her library. Crane’s imminent arrival had her twitchy and staying inside as she normally did just didn’t seem appealing. So she grabbed a light shawl and headed out into the forest, hoping she’d find Gale near where he’d been last time.
She was in luck and stumbled upon him not too far from the tree he’d fallen from, sighting down an arrow. He turned as she drew close, relaxing his stance. “Sorry,” she whispered, “I hope I didn’t scare something away.”
He shook his head. “I was just doing some target practice. Want to try?” He held the bow out, a ghost of a smile on his lips. She still hadn’t seen him smile the way he had at Rooba’s daughter again, a fact she privately lamented, so Madge stepped forward and accepted the bow. She stood awkwardly, unsure of where to begin. “Here, like this.” Gale took the bow back, holding it out and drawing it back. He handed it to her again and she tried to replicate his stance. He chuckled. “Almost.” Gale took a step closer and lifted a hand. “Is it..is it all right if I touch you?” She nodded, unable to look at him. He took another step toward her and gently raised her elbow. “Here. More like this. And relax your grip up here.” He reached out to her hand holding the bow and wrapped his fingers around hers, his body now entirely encasing her. His breath was tickling the back of her neck and her heart was pounding so loudly she thought he might be able to hear it. Gale pulled an arrow out of the quiver strapped to his back and helped her align it properly in the bow. “All right, now pull back with your right hand,” he breathed, his lips brushing against her ear and sending a pleasant shiver down her spine, “and let go…now.” On his command she loosed the arrow, watching anxiously until it hit the tree in front of her. It was off center—she had almost missed, actually—but she hadn’t expected to hit anything her first try. She turned, a wide grin spreading across her face, and there it was. That blinding smile, directed at her. Only inches from her, actually, as he hadn’t stepped back when she released the arrow. She froze, suddenly all too aware of their closeness, of the heat coming off his body, of the way the places he’d touched her burned as if his hands were still there.
Gale seemed to realize something as well and took a large stride backwards. “That—that was great, Madge,” he said, clearing his throat again. “I, uh, I think you’ve got the basics.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from her.
She forced herself back to the present, away from thoughts of how solid his chest felt against her back. “Thank you. I think I should go back to the manor, though. There’s a lot to do before Crane arrives.” That was a lie, however. She had most everything prepared, but she wasn’t sure she trusted herself to be this near Gale anymore and she needed an escape. Madge tried to bring to mind the crown prince, but his image kept fading. She turned on her heel and hurried back to the house and for the rest of the week she carefully avoided touching Gale, even accidentally.
As I told swishy earlier this week, no matter the universe, Gale Hawthorne has got game.
( Rooba’s daughter is a little kid. It’s more clear in the full story. And I know literally nothing about archery.)
Today I told my mum I was stressed and she just said “what do YOU have to be stressed about?” and I’m really struggling to disagree with her because my problems are stupid and all in my head right??? I’ve felt low enough that I want to die but why is that, what is there to make me feel this? Of course my parents don’t believe me, I don’t have evidence and I don’t know what to do
I love my job at Shingle Inn a thousand times more than I ever liked working at Woolworths. Just thinking back on when I left Woolworths, I had been working there for 2 years, when I finished a shift I never checked with any of my coworkers to see when they were working next, where I do that every single shift at Shingle Inn. We always want to know when we’ll see each other next. And on my last shift only one person (who wasn’t even in my department) realised it was my last shift, my department manager didn’t even know. I’ve been working at Shingle Inn for 5 months and you can bet I’d be hugging almost every person goodbye and there would possibly be tears.
Not only that, but I don’t dread going to work unless it’s a 9 hour shift or something, I love making coffee and being around people who I can actually get to know. Just thinking back on working at Woolworths has made me realise how lucky I am to have this job because I know most people hate their jobs and I’m definitely not one of them.
Imagine your ship breaking up.
Imagine her telling everyone she’s getting married to someone else.
Imagine him moving away and they stop talking because of the distance.
Imagine a year from now she visits him with their friends.
Imagine she said the reason was to find the perfect wedding dress but truth was she missed him.
Imagine him blowing her off and always saying he’s busy.
Imagine her confronting him and yelling at him for never calling, for never replying to her messages, for not responding to her save the date.
Imagine him apologizing.
Imagine him joining her and their friends to the bridal shop and criticizing every dress she tried on, making her upset.
Imagine her best friend calling him out on it
Imagine him going to the back to talk to her.
Imagine her in the perfect dress.
Imagine him pausing and her looking at him.
Imagine him telling her to not to get married. That he still loved her and that they belong together.
Imagine her speechless and staring at him confused.
Imagine her best friend coming in and they cry over the dress instead of what he just said.
Imagine a month passes. Her engagement ring on the table by her bed. The letter in an envelope explains why.
Imagine her showing at his doorstep and he stare at her in confusion.
Imagine her crying because she loved him too.
Imagine her asking him if she’s making the right decision. Begging him to tell her it was the right choice.
Imagine his hands on her cheeks as he stares intensly in her eyes, letting her know this was right.
Imagine him kissing her because he thought she was lost forever.
Imagine her smile because she back where she belongs.
July 8 | so as you may or may not know, I’ve been going through a lot recently and had to take a semi hiatus from here. Two nights ago, I hit rock bottom and reached a point where I just couldn’t function emotionally or mentally.
I hate calling out. The last time I called out was when I had laryngitis, sinusitis, and conjunctivitis all at once, and even then I kept trying to go into work. I hate the thought of not being able to do my job for a reason as seemingly trivial as “because I’m stressed” and I hate the idea of inconveniencing people.
My coworker talked me into calling out for Thursday. It took me hours to get up the nerve to text my boss. When I was dealing with depression after a car accident in January, I also suffered in silence until one day I broke down at work (I work full time), and that same coworker went with me to talk to my boss. I let her know my situation, and it paid off, because when I told her I needed a mental health day she wasn’t caught off guard. And as you can see, she was totally alright with it. No asking me to come in, no saying she couldn’t spare a worker seeing as my other coworker is out of commission right now as well.
I also texted my coworker who I suspected might need to stay later to cover for me (I really don’t like inconveniencing people) and her reply, in my emotional state, actually made me cry.
Granted, I’m blessed with a fabulous understanding boss and wonderful coworkers who genuinely care about me. But many people understand, and will tell you to take care of yourself if you do tell them that you’re coping with mental health issues and you can’t be 100%.
Sometimes it all gets a bit much. We are only human, and we can only juggle so many balls and spread ourselves so thin before we need a break. Whether this is a personal day from school, work, or life in general, be patient and kind with yourself. Know your limits.
I took a personal day and I feel much better, even though I lost a day of pay. I studied, I journaled, I relaxed, I slept, I forced myself out to dinner with Alec, and I started over. That’s all I needed: one day without immediate obligations (like being responsible for nine screaming toddlers) and some time to reflect on myself and pull it together.
My stress isn’t over, but I cannot imagine how I would feel right now if I hadn’t taken that day. I don’t know if I would have gotten through another day of work. I sure as hell would be in a horrible position to take my driving test tomorrow (although I’m pretty freaking anxious about that too).
Take care of yourselves, please. Grades and school and money and jobs and friends and significant others and obligations are all important, but sometimes you really just need a breather. Take it.