on being a grown up

anonymous asked:

i've told myself i'm bi for So long and i think i'm actually a lesbian, i needed to say this somewhere because it's been eating away at me lmao like i only find very specific men attractive every 500 years and even the men i like look feminine lmao. i think i've just been trying to convince myself there's some straightness in me so that my family won't be disappointed but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

im glad u figured it out maybe ಥ‿ಥ

Fat Chicks and Salads

I wanna rant a bit.

I really like salads.  You know, really rich dark greens, soft veggies and crunchy veggies with some nuts for that mouthfeel contrast and some grilled meat for the taste contrast. A meal with a lot of contrasting tastes on a bed of leafy greens.  You can make it really quick and easy if your knife skills are okay (I’ve been making them for forty years.  Mine are pretty good by now)

This is my lazy, go-to, I don’t wanna cook but want something tasty meal.  Also?  I like ‘em.  Mom was sneaky, implying that salads were food for grown-ups so I could have one instead of a peanut butter sandwich if I was VERY GOOD and all growed up in my behavior, so I also have pleasant, nostalgic associations of listening to my mom and aunts gossip while eating one and being a part of the sisterhood of women.

When I became a grown-up, that kind of got spoiled for me.  I hate eating them in front of people.  I’ll order fish n chips or a big ole hamburger in a restaurant before I’ll order a salad if I’m eating with a non-intimate.

Why?

I’m fat.  I can’t order a salad without someone commenting on their presumption that I am dieting, or someone saying they wish they had my “self control”  (as if it were some sort of purgatory to eat one), or being told I don’t have to be :”good” just this once.

Friends, I don’t like bannana pudding.  Know what I never order?  I don’t like pina coladas. Don’t order them, either.

But I can’t eat a damn salad without it being some sort of fucking message to someone.  And it makes me mad.

So I eat them in secret so I can enjoy them.

How’s that for your fucking narrative for a fat chick?

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.

“I’m fourteen and all my friends are crazy about being grown ups right now. They’re drinking alcohol. They’re smoking cigarettes. They’re trying to act vulgar. They’ll do anything to separate from their parents and prove that they’re independent. Personally, I’d like to be a child just a little bit longer. I love spending time with my parents. I’m not in a rush to get away. I’d like these times to last as long as possible.”

(St. Petersburg, Russia)

Okay but...

When Jon told Sansa in front of everybody that the North is hers, everyone is jumping too “Well, that shut her up real quick” as if she’s greedy and wanted the North. When obviously, it shut her up because Jon just validated her, she said last episode “Would that be so terrible?” when he asked if he was to follow her advice to be smarter, you can literally see the awe and appreciation mixed in with shock in her face. She’s so used to be looked over because she’s a girl, and Westerosi society is male dominated, but here she was validated for the first time in FOREVER as being a Stark, NOT a Bolton, NOT a Lannister, NOT a pawn, but and honest to gods Stark who deserved every bit on respect the name has drawn for centuries in a line of Kings and Wardens. Jon was named King of the North, but he still recognizes that Sansa is a Stark and that her rightful place will always be Winterfell, and her power will always be the North.


TL;DR I’m not crying, YOU ARE 

Billy & Teddy: A Love Story

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, today is a day about love and that’s why I want to share the story of this two heroes in love. Enjoy! (This could be long)

They met when they were like fifteen or sixteen and they fell crazy in love with each other.

They starting to be superheroes.

Their parents found out (kind of..) 

But not everything was good, sometimes life is just cruel.

But you keep going.

There’s also been awkward moments (c’mon they newly (kind of) boyfriends)

Moments of caring

Some flirting.

Some Lover letters.

A proposal.

And a (perfect) kiss.

And yeah, even if it hurts, a break up.

But, love unite. (And apparently can also save the universe or multiuniverse)

And their story continue.

They grown up (more), keep being superheroes (with a new team) and not even some evil future can’t torn them apart.

And with all the grown up thing came the changes, like a place for both of them (finally)

Because their future=happy+married+and+family (and Sorcerer Supreme)

But life goes and goes and the time flies, but true love never dies (just get older) 

A life together… with your best friend, your partner, your lover.

A life with all the good and bad.

A love story that still has a lot to tell and show.

Again, Happy Valentine’s Day!

2

When [Chris’s dad] came back to the kitchen, Selena and I were paying bills. We both had our checkbooks out on the kitchen table. Seeing that made my dad laugh and get his camera.

“Here,” he said, aiming the camera in our direction. “I want to get pictures of you two paying bills like grown-ups and being so responsible.”

That was the very last picture ever taken of Selena alive.

- Chris Perez, To Selena, With Love

Another Man’s Treasure

A/N: This is a completed five-part mini-series because @alrightpetal and I have this thing about making Harry super vulnerable and flawed. So here you go.

// Another Man’s Treasure // Mind on a Mission // Take the Lead // Worth the Pain // Wings of Butterflies


…I’m gonna show you tonight! I’m alright! I’m just fine! And you’re a tool so, so what?

You belted your heart out up on stage, pumping your fist in the air to empower your words even further. It was a good thing you knew all the words, too, because your mates had bought you so many drinks your vision was crossed and blurred you couldn’t have read the lyrics to an unfamiliar song. Then you would have just been a blubbering fool butchering a karaoke performance. And that would have been embarrassing.

Singing yourself blue in the face—and drinking yourself into oblivion—served as the perfect outlet for your aching heart. Hours earlier, you’d been dumped. Or more accurately, replaced.

It’d been a week since you’d heard from your long-term boyfriend, and while you knew he was on holiday with his mates—a holiday you hadn’t been invited on—it was still odd that you hadn’t heard from him at all. Not even a text to let you know that he’d made it to Amsterdam. You didn’t expect too much communication; you trusted him to treat you right, but, silly you, you thought your boyfriend might actually miss you and want to say hi.

Last night after seven and a half days of nothing, you completely lost it and called him forty-seven times in a row. And not a single one was answered. So you rang your closest friends and they came over, laptops and tablets in hand, and intense cyber-stalking commenced.

It only took thirty-four minutes for your good mate Lindsey to unearth a damning post on Insta that your boyfriend was tagged in by a girl you kind of knew. The picture itself wasn’t awful; honestly you couldn’t make out much besides silhouettes and drinks. Even the caption wasn’t much; all it said was, “this guy” with a random slew of emojis. But the funny thing was, when you tried to search for it yourself, nothing came up. Meaning you were blocked. You weren’t meant to see this picture.

Twenty-two minutes of super-sleuthing was enough time for your oldest friend Ashley to find every social media account the girl had, and then eventually uncover her phone number.

In thirteen minutes you had a text drafted to her that was so long it was broken into five different parts when you hit send.

And one minute and fifty-four seconds is all the time your boyfriend—well ex-boyfriend—allowed you to speak to him today before he told you he was coming back tomorrow and there’d be no need for you to come see him. Tomorrow or ever again.

So your mates did what they knew best. They took you out, got you absolutely smashed, and then got you up on stage to pour your heart out. Somewhere in between I Will Survive and Total Eclipse of the Heart, you got a bit weepy and ended up calling your brother from the toilet. It took you awhile to realize you weren’t actually sobbing to him but his voicemail, and as soon as you did you pulled yourself back together and headed out for another drink and a rousing rendition of Since U Been Gone.

The few other patrons in the pub were hardly paying attention to your drunken warbling on stage, only breaking from their conversations when your mates would cheer at the end of each song, some of them even offering half-hearted claps. If they were annoyed, they certainly didn’t let on. Most likely, they pitied you; for Christ sake, you pitied you.

When your song ended, you finished the rest of your drink and began flipping through the songbook. Liberation was surging through you and you wanted a song to match your mood; something to serve as a proper fuck you to the twat you’d wasted the last few years of your young life on.

The book closed on your fingers, and you stumbled back in surprise. Were books automated now too?! You still weren’t over the automated tills at Tesco, would you now have to get used to robotic books closing on you when they’d had enough?!

“[Y/N].”

You looked up, your blurred vision slowly coming into focus as you swayed on the spot. A robotic book didn’t close itself on you, a person had closed it. Which was rather rude of them.

[Y/N],” he repeated. Finally he came into view and you cocked your head in confusion.

“Hazza?” you slurred, taking a step closer to get a better look. You nearly toppled off the stage, but Harry was quick to grab you by the waist and steady you before easing you down.

Keep reading

As a gay woman, I just really wish I could read more stories about women in love with other women. I wish I had grown up being able to go to the bookstore and pick out a book about a girl who falls in love with another girl and it being completely okay. I still need books like that. Fluffy lesbian stories along with heartbreaking ones, ones that are complicated and gut-wrenching and real. I want to open books that I can see myself in, that I can relate to on a different level.

Because honestly, the endless mountain of straight-person fiction isn’t really cutting it for me anymore. 

This is it. This is the best headline yet. 

I too hate rich liberal pricks who scapegoat impoverished bigots because they don’t want to confront bigots from the same social class as them, but also as one of the poor benighted hinterlanders, I’m really, really fucking sick of his sob story about how rural white racism/homophobia/anti-semitism/etc is totally ok cuz bubba’s hooked on heroin and the factory closed 15 years ago and also one time some of them mean city gays once said something about not liking homophobia, which is totally mean and elitist and oppressive, so bubba can’t help but be a nazi, and his pride in being pigshit ignorant is striking back at them city elitists. I’ve grown up around people like this, and yes, they are genuinely awful fuckers who don’t need to be cried over.

this bullshit enables bigots, and tbh is also pretty massive insult to people who struggle with this like poverty or addiction without turning into bullying bigots

Fall For You (M) | 01

→ gif ©

Summary: You hate a lot of things about Jeon Jungkook; you hate his arrogance, his reputation, and his pet name for you to name a few. But most of all, you hate how right it feels for you to fall into his arms, and how easy it is to fall for him.
Word Count: 10,764
Genre: fuckboy!Jungkook, college au, hate to lust to…
A/N: Completely inspired by this vine that I saw months ago that hasn’t left me alone since. Bonus points to those who notice the line of the song in the fic. Extra bonus points to those who recognize the Hamilton reference

Part 02. Part 03 + Drabbles

If you were being completely honest, your issue with Jeon Jungkook began years before university.

You’d grown up close to each other, his house was right across from yours but you’d hated him from the moment you met in primary school. He’d joined you and your friends in a game of truth or dare during recess, and his dare for you had been to race him from one end of the playground to the other. You had tripped, cutting your knees open but he’d continued running, winning before realizing you weren’t behind him anymore. Only by that time, the teacher had gotten to you and you’d spent the rest of primary school glaring at Jungkook whenever he was in your sights, childishly blaming him for your scars.

Of course, you didn’t hold that grudge still. Your first year of university had just started, and it would be petty and pathetic of you to still hate him for that reason. But Jungkook had given you several more reasons to hate him throughout your years of schooling.

You’d watched throughout middle and high school as Jungkook grew from a cheeky, cocky kid, into an even cockier young man. He’d never cared much for his grades, choosing instead to throw parties with his friends, to ditch class occasionally, and rile up any girls he chose. You stayed away from him, attending different parties and sticking with your small group of friends, and by the second year of high school Jungkook became one of the most well known players of the town.

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thesun.co.uk
One Direction split was painful... but it was Harry wanted, says Louis Tomlinson
WHEN ONE DIRECTION began an extended hiatus at the end of 2015, much was made of the friendships and alliances within the world’s biggest band. LOUIS TOMLINSON was the natural leader of 1D and keen…

WHEN ONE DIRECTION began an extended hiatus at the end of 2015, much was made of the friendships and alliances within the world’s biggest band.

LOUIS TOMLINSON was the natural leader of 1D and keen for the group to continue their chart-conquering progress.

But his former BFF HARRY STYLES was ready to go on an indefinite break, leading to understandable tensions within the group. In part two of his revealing world-exclusive interview, Louis is brutally honest about that difficult period, shining a light for the first time on how the decision to split was made.

He says: “It was an uncomfortable time more than anything. We’ve always had a level of respect for each other in these meetings and we always said that 100 per cent honesty and openness is so important if you’re going to get on as a band. 

It made those situations a little bit difficult because I felt like I really was building up confidence in myself and in my place within the band and as a songwriter in the band.I could feel that potentially it was going to be a break. What was difficult was trying to understand how long that might be. So that process was kind of a little uncomfortable. 

You’re asking guys who have grown up being best friends to make selfish decisions, which they should do, based on themselves.“But it doesn’t change the fact that it was difficult for me to accept at first.”

However, 18 months on, with the launch of a promising solo career, Louis’ opinion has changed.

He says: “If you asked me now if I think it’s the wrong decision, I don’t think it was. I think the market and the fans and everyone had had so much of One Direction that regardless of any individual ventures, the market could do with a two-, three- or however long break away from us.”

Louis — who yesterday released his new single Back To You with rising star BEBE REXHA,— is honest that he is not as close to Harry as NIALL HORAN or LIAM PAYNE.

He says: “There’s no politics or anything. Inevitably in a band, you’re going to get some people who get on really well and some people who get on quite well. I have forever had a very, very high level of respect for Harry. He’s great in this situation, he’s great on stage, he’s a great musician and artist. It’s just one of those things that happens naturally in a band.”

Louis and Harry’s friendship was also dogged by a ridiculous five-year conspiracy by a group of determined fans known as Larries. 

They believe that the pair are in a romantic relationship that was covered up by 1D management, SIMON COWELL and even me (I promise you I’d have been delighted to report that Harry and Louis were an item if that were the case).

Sadly, Louis admits the pressure from Larry conspiracy theorists was a factor in their friendship struggling, especially given the serious relationship he has with girlfriend Eleanor Calder. 

He says: “I’ve never actually been asked about it directly. It’s a funny thing. It kind of happened naturally for me and Harry because a certain amount of the fans drew up this conspiracy. 

When it first came around I was with Eleanor, and it actually felt a little bit disrespectful to Eleanor, who is my girlfriend now. I’m so protective over things like that, about the people I love. 

So it created this atmosphere between the two of us where everyone was looking into everything we did. It took away the vibe you get off anyone. It made everything, I think on both fences, a little bit more unapproachable. I think it shows that it was never anything real, if I can use that word.”

In recent months I’ve asked Liam, Niall and Harry whether 1D could re-form without Harry or with former bandmate ZAYN MALIK.

Louis is clearly surprised by the question and takes a long time to think before replying: “When Zayn left, it still felt like One Direction, but we still didn’t feel like the whole. So then to even take maybe Harry out as well — it’s something that I can’t ever imagine, really. I feel like it’s got to be for the fans, and not for the three that want to get back together.”.

Louis is clearly keen for the band to get back together, but he understands that Harry — currently promoting his big-screen debut in the film Dunkirk — has not yet made a decision.

He says: “Harry is actually an inspiring person to watch as a businessman, as a musician. He doesn’t really lose, Harry. He’s a very, very hard worker and his potential is massive in so many different fields.

So I don’t know the answer, but if I’m Harry . . . I don’t know yet. Honestly, I just think it’s too difficult to say, especially with someone like Harry, who’s got so much potential. It’s just kind of a confusing place for him to be as an individual, to be like, ‘OK, what is next?’ ”

1D fans are asking exactly the same thing . . .

THE end of 1D was hard on all the boys – and now Louis has revealed how upsetting it was after their final concert in Sheffield.

He said: “I’ve got this video from the last show. There’s a minute of me and Niall hugging, just kind of sobbing like, ‘This is f***ing crazy.’

”Louis was always close to Niall, but being apart hasn’t dampened their friendship. 

He added: “Niall’s the best. We just get so excited about each other’s s**t.” Cute.

———————————————————————————————————

Holding on to Si

HE was discovered on The X Factor, and it was on that stage that One Direction gave their final performance in December 2015. 

But Louis has admitted he felt frustrated last summer when he wasn’t given a judging role following lengthy discussions about replacing NICK GRIMSHAW.

He said: “It was something that I would have liked to have done. But it’s business. That’s how it works. It was kind of surprising to see me essentially being replaced by LOUIS WALSH.”

But the Just Hold On singer held no grudge against show boss SIMON COWELL. He is the only 1D member to sign with Cowell’s Syco label after the pop guru masterminded the group’s success.

Louis said: “Simon has always been willing to listen. It was a no-brainer to me.”

It has certainly worked well so far.

———————————————————————————————————

FROM London to LA, Louis has lived around the globe since 1D began. But he still cherishes his home town Doncaster, where he shot the video for his new single.

He said: “I love it. I feel like I owe people from Doncaster. But I just get this feeling . . . I want to push Doncaster on everyone.”

Louis, whose baby son Freddie Reign lives in LA with his ex Briana Jungwirth, added: “LA’s very different to Doncaster. The people are chalk and cheese. I obviously cherish my time with my son and it’s fantastic for work and the weather is great, but I do cherish my time back home.”

—————————————————————————————————————————–

LIAM PAYNE and CHERYL are one of the most loved-up ­couples in pop, but even Louis didn’t quite believe they were together at first.

Asked if he thought his bandmate was joking when he confided in him about his relationship, Louis said: “I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t 100 per cent. I’m not saying I didn’t buy it – of course I did. It was just a little bit surprising for me at first.”

He knew about the couple’s secret romance in February last year at the Brit Awards but kept his lips sealed.

Louis continued: “I remember being outside and sharing a cigarette with them and him being excited and trying to play it cool. But I’m really happy for him. I think it’s important that Liam has someone around him who’s going to really look after him. I don’t know Cheryl too well. I’ve always thought she’s lovely, so hopefully she looks after our Liam.”

Bless.