(something for your way to work? Have a good day!)
So I kinda want Jons first date to be with someone who ISNT Damian. Like he has the biggest crush on Damian in the world, but he thinks its not reciprocated (cause you know damian and feelings). So this cute boy from his high school asks Jon out and Jon agrees. Jon tells Damian and Damian is just SO JEALOUS. Just grinding his teeth to dust jealous. But he can’t complain, or do anything about it. Some other guy just had the guts to tell Jon, “Hey, you’re cute. Wanna get dinner and watch a movie with me?” While Damian can barely manage a nice thing to say to Jon. (even though the thought of Jon laughing or smiling at a dumb joke keeps him up all night). So what does he do? He tells Jon to enjoy his date and that he’ll see him on patrol the night after his date; calling himself a coward the whole time he writes out the message and sends it.
The next day is just a moping Damian. After training and a shower, its just moping all around the manor. Eating breakfast? Full of sighs. In the library? Titus is sitting in his lap and hes curled around his dog, looking out of the window. Listening to music? Sad songs.
“Damian?” Dick asked, carefully removing one of Damians earbuds. Damian grunted. “Everything okay, bud?”
“Peachy, why do you ask?”
“You seem…off.” Dick said careful of his words.
“’M fine.” Damian grumbled, taking his earbud back.
Tim comes strolling in with some tea for Damian, and ruffles his hair. “Jon’s going on a date because poor Damian here can’t sort out his feelings like the rest of us.“
“How do you know?” Dick asked
“Kon told me.” Tim answered, typing something on his phone. “I told him that i’m gonna sabotage his little brothers date.”
Dick perked up and was about to open his mouth until he heard a gun getting loaded. “WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL HIM, JASON.”
Stephanie comes skipping in with some pictures, “his name is Clay. What an unattractive name, CLAY. Like Ew. Put a face after that and you have a villain name.
ANYWAYS. Cute kid. Gray eyes, blonde hair. He’s on the basketball team. So if Mad Dog Jason gets out, make sure he doesnt break his wrist.” Stephanie relays all of this information while stroking Damians hair. Damian would normally hiss and growl and promise her demise, but today he just lets his head rest on her hip. (Damian ofc cant hear anything. He just thinks his siblings + steph are just keeping him company)
“Fuck you, Steph.”
“Don’t you wish, honey.”
So it’s friday night. Jon and Clay are at a diner. (Damian is patrolling with batman. B notices that Robin is a little more aggressive tonight than normal)
Jay steals Clays wallet making Jon pay for everything.Jon doesnt mind. Hes just a little annoyed cause Clay said it was his treat.
Since Jay still has Clays wallet, Jon also has to pay for the movie tickets.
Anytime the other boy wants to touch Jon, hand over shoulder holding his hand Dick shocks him.
Jon is miserable. This was a shit date. Why did he even come? Even during dinner he realized they had nothing in common besides sports, and the fact they’re in AP Calculus. And they’re not even on the same sports team! (Jons in baseball) Every conversation he had with him was an absolute bore, He seemed so charming in school! Jon sighed as they finally pulled into the driveway to his house in metropolis.
“Sorry about tonight! I guess, I just wasn’t on my game.” Clay laughs. Jon tried not to cringe at yet another sports reference.
“We all have our off days.” Jon smiles, ready to put this dumb date behind him.
Clay holds his hand, and Jon finds himself desperately wishing that it was someone else holding his hand. Someone hes trying to get over. Someone whos too tied down to crime fighting. Someone whos passionate about animals and art and literature and his city.
“Thanks for being so understanding.” Clay says leaning forward. Jon found himself leaning forward too. The hell with it, maybe at least the kissing will make up for this lousy excuse of a date.
Tim hacks the boys car before his and Jons lips touched, making the car alarm go off in the dead of night. The batboys tried not to snicker, that would tip off a certain someones super hearing.
Jon grits his teeth and get out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.” He calls over his shoulder and retreats into his house.
Jon sees his mom waiting up for him in the living room. “Hey, honey.” Jon super speed runs to her and plops himself on her lap.
“Im taking your date went bad?”
“Oh you have no idea.” he mumbled into her lap, holding her closer.
“Think of it this way, this just sets the bar for all of your other dates!” Lois said, carding her fingers through her sons thick black hair.
“Mom, anything lower than this would be my date not showing up. And honestly, that’s still probably better than tonight.“
Lois had to laugh at that.
"I dated the captain of the basketball team when I was your age too.”
“Howd it go?”
“God awful. He ran off with god knows who in the middle of our date. I had to walk home myself.”
“What happened after that?”
“I started dating your father.”
“Think he asked batman to scare the other guy off?”
Lois laughed at that. “Somehow, I dont doubt it."
Lois pressed a kiss to Jons cheek and went off to bed. He could hear his Dads thunderous snores as she opened the door to their bedroom.
Jon pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Damian.
Worst date ever, and it was my first one. Tell you about it on patrol tomorrow. Night!
Damian opened the message as he waited for the GCPD to pick up the would be bank robbers he just busted. A big smile spread across his cheeks. Looks like Damian will get his second chance soon.
BONUS: when Batman and robin strolled into the cave, Tim, Jason, and Dick were all napping in random spots with their suits on.
"They didn’t tell me they went on patrol.” Batman frowned. The pieces clicked into place for Damian rather quickly. He had to hide a smile from his father. He also made a mental note of finding out ways to thank his brothers.
@desolationofzara OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! And i legit laughed out loud, thank you so much darling!