omg tim you are killing me

(something for your way to work? Have a good day!)

So I kinda want Jons first date to be with someone who ISNT Damian. Like he has the biggest crush on Damian in the world, but he thinks its not reciprocated (cause you know damian and feelings). So this cute boy from his high school asks Jon out and Jon agrees. Jon tells Damian and Damian is just SO JEALOUS. Just grinding his teeth to dust jealous. But he can’t complain, or do anything about it. Some other guy just had the guts to tell Jon, “Hey, you’re cute. Wanna get dinner and watch a movie with me?” While Damian can barely manage a nice thing to say to Jon. (even though the thought of Jon laughing or smiling at a dumb joke keeps him up all night). So what does he do? He tells Jon to enjoy his date and that he’ll see him on patrol the night after his date; calling himself a coward the whole time he writes out the message and sends it.

The next day is just a moping Damian. After training and a shower, its just moping all around the manor. Eating breakfast? Full of sighs. In the library? Titus is sitting in his lap and hes curled around his dog, looking out of the window. Listening to music? Sad songs. 

“Damian?” Dick asked, carefully removing one of Damians earbuds. Damian grunted. “Everything okay, bud?”

“Peachy, why do you ask?”

“You seem…off.” Dick said careful of his words. 

“’M fine.” Damian grumbled, taking his earbud back. 

Tim comes strolling in with some tea for Damian, and ruffles his hair. “Jon’s going on a date because poor Damian here can’t sort out his feelings like the rest of us.“ 

“How do you know?” Dick asked

“Kon told me.” Tim answered, typing something on his phone. “I told him that i’m gonna sabotage his little brothers date.”

Dick perked up and was about to open his mouth until he heard a gun getting loaded. “WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL HIM, JASON.”

“Damnit.”

Stephanie comes skipping in with some pictures, “his name is Clay. What an unattractive name, CLAY. Like Ew. Put a face after that and you have a villain name.
ANYWAYS. Cute kid. Gray eyes, blonde hair. He’s on the basketball team. So if Mad Dog Jason gets out, make sure he doesnt break his wrist.” Stephanie relays all of this information while stroking Damians hair. Damian would normally hiss and growl and promise her demise, but today he just lets his head rest on her hip. (Damian ofc cant hear anything. He just thinks his siblings + steph are just keeping him company)

“Fuck you, Steph.”

“Don’t you wish, honey.”

So it’s friday night. Jon and Clay are at a diner. (Damian is patrolling with batman. B notices that Robin is a little more aggressive tonight than normal) 

Jay steals Clays wallet making Jon pay for everything.Jon doesnt mind. Hes just a little annoyed cause Clay said it was his treat.  

Since Jay still has Clays wallet, Jon also has to pay for the movie tickets. 

Anytime the other boy wants to touch Jon, hand over shoulder holding his hand Dick shocks him. 

Jon is miserable. This was a shit date. Why did he even come? Even during dinner he realized they had nothing in common besides sports, and the fact they’re in AP Calculus. And they’re not even on the same sports team! (Jons in baseball) Every conversation he had with him was an absolute bore, He seemed so charming in school! Jon sighed as they finally pulled into the driveway to his house in metropolis. 

“Sorry about tonight! I guess, I just wasn’t on my game.” Clay laughs. Jon tried not to cringe at yet another sports reference. 

“We all have our off days.” Jon smiles, ready to put this dumb date behind him. 

Clay holds his hand, and Jon finds himself desperately wishing that it was someone else holding his hand. Someone hes trying to get over. Someone whos too tied down to crime fighting. Someone whos passionate about animals and art and literature and his city. 

“Thanks for being so understanding.” Clay says leaning forward. Jon found himself leaning forward too. The hell with it, maybe at least the kissing will make up for this lousy excuse of a date. 

Tim hacks the boys car before his and Jons lips touched, making the car alarm go off in the dead of night. The batboys tried not to snicker, that would tip off a certain someones super hearing. 

Jon grits his teeth and get out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.” He calls over his shoulder and retreats into his house. 

Jon sees his mom waiting up for him in the living room. “Hey, honey.” Jon super speed runs to her and plops himself on her lap. 

“Im taking your date went bad?”

“Oh you have no idea.” he mumbled into her lap, holding her closer.

“Think of it this way, this just sets the bar for all of your other dates!” Lois said, carding her fingers through her sons thick black hair. 

“Mom, anything lower than this would be my date not showing up. And honestly, that’s still probably better than tonight.“ 

Lois had to laugh at that. 

"I dated the captain of the basketball team when I was your age too.”

“Howd it go?”

“God awful. He ran off with god knows who in the middle of our date. I had to walk home myself.”

“What happened after that?”

“I started dating your father.”

“Think he asked batman to scare the other guy off?”

Lois laughed at that. “Somehow, I dont doubt it." 

Lois pressed a kiss to Jons cheek and went off to bed. He could hear his Dads thunderous snores as she opened the door to their bedroom. 

Jon pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Damian. 

Worst date ever, and it was my first one. Tell you about it on patrol tomorrow. Night!

Damian opened the message as he waited for the GCPD to pick up the would be bank robbers he just busted. A big smile spread across his cheeks. Looks like Damian will get his second chance soon.

BONUS: when Batman and robin strolled into the cave, Tim, Jason, and Dick were all napping in random spots with their suits on. 

"They didn’t tell me they went on patrol.” Batman frowned. The pieces clicked into place for Damian rather quickly. He had to hide a smile from his father. He also made a mental note of finding out ways to thank his brothers. 


@desolationofzara OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! And i legit laughed out loud, thank you so much darling!

tim and curly during a long car ride hc

-tim literally beGGEd angela to come with them because there was no way he would survive more than an hour with curly alone

-she told him to fuck off

-curly was fucKING PUMPed, let me tell you rn this boy is like ‘dog when their person comes home’ excited

- “omg tim can i drive”

-“only if you promise to drive us off a cliff”

-tim is done within the first 10 minutes

- “take a nap before i push you into traffic, you little fuck”

- “tIM THAT LADY HAD A DOg, can we stop and pet him?,,?”

- tim can feel the vein in his forehead ready to burst becaUSE THIS FUCKINg kid

- “hey, tim”

- “……,,”

- “timmmmmy, tim…. aye, timmo…tIM”

- “curly, you’re killing me, yOURE KILLING YOUR BROTHer”

-curly just does this throaty giggle that that makes tim want to bash his head against the dash

- “tim, i have to piss” every twenty minutes

- “curly, you make me regret almost every decision i’ve ever made”

-road rage

-“liSTEN YOU FUCKING BASTARD, GREen meaNS GO, okaY FUCKINg gO”

-“……tim, how do you know their parents weren’t married before they were born?”

-“ curly i stg”

- angela is just sitting at home laughing because she juST KNOWS

anonymous asked:

Hey babes.. hcs about the gang + shepherds reacting to their gal asking them to kill a bug thnx

Hey babes.. hcs about the gang + shepherds reacting to their gal asking them to kill a bug thnx

Ponyboy— I mean if I have to
Johnny— it’s nature let it- fine.
Darry— lmao you’re so ridiculous
Dallas— bruh you kill it I don’t want to touch that
Curly— sure 😏 (he’d probably kill it with his hands just bc)
Steve— are you kidding me
Tim— lol you’re so funny, that’s at least ten times smaller than you
Two-Bit— gross but okay (he’d chase you around with it)
Soda— ew omg no wyd no

Free! Eternal Summer 07

“Your ass.”

What are these two chickens doing?

CUUUUTE

I though Nitorin was going to kiss him!

HE WASN’T SLEEPING

From the “this phrase out of context is awesome” series.

Awwww, Mako-chan’s expressions…

Jealousy. I smell the jealousy from here.

I though Rei-chan was going to cry! Awwww!

So many important things to screenshot on this episode and I decide to post a scene of Nagisa eating icecream.

They need to go to a more…intimate place.

And he said to Nitorin they weren’t fighting.

They made this on purpose so people can ship them.

I’m interested about Mako-chan’s future too.

“The person you wait for will come.”
GREAT, MAKOTO, GO GET HIM NOW
HE GOT DAIKICHI LIKE YOU

Got it, Haru? Rei is totally supporting you in a polyamour relationship! You don’t have to be on doubt anymore! Be free!

OH MY
THIS KILLED ME

I’M DYING NOW

Ok, I know they didn’t say that, actually, but…
OMG THE TIMMING FMDSFHDSHFUDSUHHUA

See you next water time!

Follow Forever

Credit to this beautiful picture goes to a-wesker-booty. She’s great go follow her! seriously do it now.

Anywho, for celebration of 150 followers (Cause I’m a dork) I wanted to do this. The bolded names mean that I really especially recommend these accounts. Please look into them! They are all great.

A-C

a-wesker-booty * adventuretimetrivia * alicemadnessreturnstarotalwaysaddictedtotwdg * ask-twdg-nuke * asksatoshimochida * askwillet * auburnhairedlukeavatar-the-last-airbender * barackobama * bb16iscool * bonniesfreckles * butisthereanyweed * carolsdrawingchallengerapproaching * charlotte-st-john * chocorinsclemcutie * clementineandleetwd * clemmedforbattle * clemmycloo * closplaying* clxmentine 
* completelytwitterpated * confessingadventuretime * contermarune

* corpse-party-stories * corpsepartybookofshadows * corpsepartyconfessions * crackeddarknesss * croquet-dapt * cryaotic * cutepandita

D-F

dailywalkingdead-factsdeep-dark-fears * deep-fried-eggs * didyouknowalicedidyouknowgaming * drharleyquinnduck-grayson-your-ward * dxntcallmesmall * eliazbeth * ellie-joel-tlou * ellieandclementine * ellliewillliams * evescontroller * f-inn-and-jake * fakekennyfangirlingoverdemigods * floppily * four-big-idiots * fuckyeahbeyondtwosouls * fuckyeahinjustice * fuckyeahmarshalllee * fuckyeahthesims4 * fuckyeaxmenfirstclass * fuckyesfinnandjake * fyeahinjusticegodsamongus * fyeahteentitans * fyeahxmenfirstclass

G-J

gameraddictions * gamerwifegamingmakesmehigh * gamingthingsthatgiveyoufeels * girlslovesuperheroesgottafindaboat * harrypotterconfessions * harrypotterhousequotes * hernameisclementine * hershelgrimes * his-name-was-leehumansofnewyorkhyruleculture * hyrulewarriors * i-luv-bbrae * iancorny * ianhecoxhasabowlhaircutid-shoot-meifclementinediesweriot * ifyoshikidiesweriot * ihatecliffhangersikeptmyhairshort * iliohaex * imstillyourzeldainjusticegodsamongus * isthatreallytheanswer * itsthelastofus * jackunzeldrabblesgalorejoelmillur * jokes-and-historys * just–some–guy

K- Q

keep-that-hair-short-twd * kill-the-ones-you-love * kiwiclementine * l0rd-0f-the-fand0ms * lasercorn * lasercornquotes * lets-save-clemmyletsgetonwithitlil-clem * little-girl-dont-lie-to-me * little-literature* lolzforshitslost-in-crawford * luaisyfan13 * make-the-red-queen * marvelmoviesnentindo * nickyoubutthole * nightmare-of-tim-burtonnot-quite-snow-white * nottheaverageasian * notyourstolose * officialturtlepresident * omg-smoshomid-the-ruins * otlgaming *pass-me-that-boat-clem * pass-me-that-boat * peachesandbeans * pewdie * princelavvrenceprincessofnerdingham * qualopec *queer-nick * 

R-T

rahgot * rotbtd * runwildx *sadzombiegirls * sammanson * she-will-come-backshushitsjustme <that’s my other account * shy-ramen * shygirlkuroki silverhairedtroll * sims4updates * simsgonewrongslitheryn-foreversmosh * smoshfed * smoshygayness
soundslikearealgoodguy *spunky-red-headstarvinghippos * stuff-for-gamers * summerofzankietariia * teentitansheadcanons * telltalegames * thatmostlyzeldablog *the-annotated-dead* the-dead-always-win * the-walking-dead-game * the-walking-feeeels * thefeelsofus * thelastofclementine * thelastofusconcept * thisgirlgames * thisguygames * tropesversuswomen *

V-Z

valuable-little-girlvideo-game-girls * videogameglory * viria * walkerbitewalkerclementinewedontgivethatup * wellyourewelcometostayhere * wesker-is-hotwhat-whatwhatwhat * wheresmyclemmyclue * wherethesoulgoes * wordsoutofpaper * youre-strong-clem * zelinkorg  * zombies-and-tears

Okay! That’s everyone! Please you’re doing yourself a favor if you check these guys at they are all super rad! Ok, Bye Loves <3

anonymous asked:

fatima I can't sleep and I'm anxious and sad as fuk!! you got any good stories rn???

o man… Ok so in 6th grade near the end of the year my crush named tim (this the boy I rapped to and walked away from me) was there and like 8 other kids were there and since it the end of the year u kno how teachers make the students help clean up the classroom and all that.. so I was cleaning the desks and tim came up to me like hey fatima:) and in the inside I was like “this rude ass bitc walked away from me while I was rapping! but he look so good! italian bitch!” On the OUTSIDE tho I was like hi -_- and he like what are u doing :) and I was like Just cleaning the desks :) and he was like ok lol and then this bitch.. no amount of words I can type can explain how muc I hate this bitch I bet her bitch ass has a hipster ass tumblr so I’ll change her name to musty.. so this bitch musty walks up to me and Tim and everybody knew she lived in tims ASS so she like hey Fatima :) hey timothy lol and I’m like -__- and I continue cleaning n shit! so after we finished our teacher let us go on the computers and jus do what we wanted and when I was just on like disneychannel.com tim sat next to me :) and he started talking to me and I made him laugh n all that n then guess who come sit next to me :) MUSTY BITCH and the seating was like tim, me then musty and musty started sayin shit like “omg Fatima why’d you get quiet once I sat here?” and I was like :) no reason :) and then musty like “Tim look at Fatima’s cheeks they’re so big and cute! Pinch them omg!” and Tim FUKING PINCHED MY CHEEKS N HE CALLED ME CUTE AND I STARTED TURNIN RED AND MUSTY LIKE “FATIMA UR TURNING RED!!” AND I WAS LIKE MAN THE HEAT IN HERE IS JUS KILLING ME! I GOTTA GO AND I GOT UP N WENT TO THE BATHOOM N ALMOST CRIED N WHEN I CAME BACK MUSTY AND TIM WERE TALKING CLOSE N HONESTLY? I HATE 6TH GRADE N I HATE MUSTY SO MUC I HATE THIs

Anonymous said: Batfamily reaction when dick returns from been a spy but he is blind

Okay, so I have two similar questions so I’m making both, the funny version and the emotive version. And since I’m in one of my silly-dorkish moods you’re getting both in the same post. 

Keep in mind that everybody’s too happy at Dick’s returning but also they are all a bunch of jerks. 

Jason 

“Don’t worry, dickie bird, it’ll be alright, you will see" 

Tim 

"OMG Dick!”

 I’ll get you a copy of Jane Austen’s books in braille, I swear" 

Barbara

“You’re a dead man, Grayson, don’t ever scare me like that again, screw you!!" 

"Don’t cry, Babs,you can’t kill a blind man, it’s not fair" 

"Oh no, you just wait, I’m getting Superman to fix that and then I will kill you" 

Stephanie 

"You can suck faces later. Dick! I’ll cook pancakes for you tomorrow morning, you don’t have to see them to taste them, they’re yummy" 

Damian 
"Please, don’t, Brown, Grayson didn’t survived a mission for you to kill him off with your incompetent cooking" 

"Grayson, I knew you were alive, and since you are a worthy fighter I’ll teach you how to fight in the dark, I mean, I… you are allowed to hug me this one time" 

Cass

Alfred 

"I knew you were coming back, Master Richard”

Bruce 

“Don’t worry, Dicky, we’ll get your eyes fixed, no missions until then, son, you did alright, as always" 

Dick 

"Arwwww, guys, quit the blind jokes, you know you can’t get rid of me " 

"Now, go get the wine," 

DON’T EVEN THINK THAT I AM CRYING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW

youtube

That awkward moment when:

you’ve been asleep for several hours but you wake up and can’t get back to sleep so you tweet search Tim Curry’s name. Someone says ‘So where can I find the Guinness Advert Tim Curry was in?’ in a totally sane and normal manner. Then you’re all like 'He didn’t do a Guinness advert did he!??! Nah. I know *everything* about him - oh but maybe he did a voice over. Oh I’ll just have a cheeky google for five minutes. Oh these two references I’ve just found in regards to it existing seem to imply he’s actually IN THE ADVERTS AS IN WITH HIS ACTUAL FACE. No. Fuck Off. Tim Curry wasn’t in adverts with his face in 1992. He just wasn’t, no fuck off. No. They probably think someone else is him. No. He can’t be. Oh I’ll just keep googling a little bit more. What’s the harm. Oh google on mobile is annoying really isn’t it. I’ll just get out of bed. And get my laptop. And google for several more hours. I’ll just watch all the early 90s montages of TV adverts I can find. OH MY FUCKING GOD I’VE JUST FOUND TIM CURRY HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM A TRAPEZE ADVERTISING FUCKING GUINNESS. I’ll just chop it out of this montage. And upload it to YouTube. Just in case anyone else comes along and says they have THE OTHER THREE FUCKING ADVERTS HE DID. Omg Tim. What the actual fuck. Who are you. What are you. I thought I knew you, man. I don’t know you at all. Look at this fucking asshole. Look at this asshole right here. OMG WHAT IS LIFE. Tim, you and I. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I just. I hate you. I love you so much. WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD. Someone. Please. Kill me. 

That.

i’m looking at day6′s profiles and the things you find are so interesting 

  • jae was born in argentina???? ARGENTINA. HE IS A CITIZEN OF ARGENTINA. 
  • HAD A FACEBOOK AND YT AN FLKJAHSJFEWI
  • HIS YT HAS GABE BONDOC AND AJ RAFAEL I CAN DIE HE LIKES DISNEY SONGS I AM CRYING PLEASE PLEASE.
  • CALIFORNIA STATE UNI?? OKAY..
  • FACT: HE LOOKS GOOD IN GLASSES
  • I A M TURNInG INTO HIS TRASH ATM.
  • DOWOON MUST BE A HUFFLEPUFF BECAUSE HE LIKES LOOKING FOR STUFF (hufflepuffs are good finders)
  • and he is a drummer and i am always a slut for drummers
  • sungjin dances????????? does he??????? it says so??????
  • YOUNG.K IS SUCH A GOOD STREET NAME
  • HE LIVED IN CANADA OMG HE PROLLY HAD TIM HORTONS
  • ENGLISH NAME BRIAN I AM CRYING HI BRIAN
  • breh. HE WAS IN DREAM HIGH 2
  • brian can sleep anywhere same me too i am you you are me we are one (annyeonghaseyo exo inmida)
  • wonpil more like one more pill bc i need to sleep forever(wtf)
  • HIS SMILE. FML WTF WHO EVEN. HOW.
  • junhyeok LIKES TO SHOP. no guy ever says that  thank you ily
  • this means he can style clothes knows fashion i am done bye guys who can fashion kill me this isnt fair wtf
  • day6 is a great band thank you jyp for this opportunity what a time to be alive.