omg this is such a bad pun

so my friend sent the first photo to me on twitter and i thought i should finish it myself

he said

the savior of the



he said


and all the

the plans that they have made


i’ll leave you



to join

anonymous asked:

aye fam could u hmu with a hc with maybe pastel!dan and punk!phil and like they're boyfriends and whatever and Phil just loves dans ass he loves squeezing it and looking at it omg this is what is missing from my life

yes i am here for this 1000%

-Phil has always been an ass guy, to be fair. But one day this boy walked into his life and holy shit if he wasn’t obsessed before, he definitely is now. He blames Dan for everything, honestly.

-Dan is a beautiful boy who always walked around in pastel jumpers and flower crowns and his hair is curly and the softest thing Phil has ever seen. He wanted to take a nap and nuzzle into the soft hair, but he didn’t say it out loud of course because that would ruin his punk image. Also, Dan had the best ass Phil has ever laid eyes on. It was perfect, round and soft, bouncing a bit with every upbeat step Dan takes. Phil fantasized about Dan a lot, not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

-Phil, the man with dozens of tattoos and piercings all over his face (he also had nipple piercings but no one knew about that), nearly goes into cardiac arrest when Dan approached him one day because Dan is even prettier up close. Really, he can’t be blamed for spluttering into his coffee, anyone would with an angel right in front of them.

-Dan asks Phil out and he’s a bit soft spoken at first but still has this confidence about him and Phil is just gone for him already.

-Dan and Phil going on their first date which went great. Conversation flowed easily like they knew each other for years and found that they had many of the same interests. After dinner they went to Phil’s apartment and binge watched their favorite shows and movies until it was late and both of them were sleepy. 

-Phil had willed himself not to openly stare at Dan’s ass throughout the day, being that it was only the first date and such, but wow, Dan had such a nice bum. It didn’t help at all that Dan had apparently decided to wear his tightest jeans that he could find. Phil was almost positive that they were jeggings. 

-They continue to date until Phil asks him to be his boyfriend, stuttering and blushing like mad. Dan says yes of course and gives him a sweet kiss, tugging just a bit at Phil’s lip ring before unpausing the game and beating him (again) at Mario Kart. It probably has something to do with the fact that Phil is too busy looking at Dan in all his beauty to even glance at the screen.

-Dan and Phil making out one day and, ok they have exchanged blow jobs and such, but Phil hasn’t like, properly touched Dan’s ass and god he wants it so much. He wants it all; he wants to kiss it, touch it, eat it, everything. He’s obsessed, he loves it. 

-Phil reaching a hand to Dan’s ass, gently palming it. Phil thinks he imagined the gasp from Dan until he squeezed his bum and Dan moans. Like a full on sex moan. Fuck. 

- “P-Phil, um what- oh!” is all Dan can make out before Phil leans in and kisses him again while pulling him even closer, big hands on his ass and clothed cocks rubbing together. Dan feels like he’s in heaven when Phil places soft kisses down his neck, sucking gently on the skin, then harder as Dan whimpers and moans. 

- “Do you like this?” Phil asks while squeezing Dan’s ass again, not asking in a sexy way, just genuinely curious because Dan looks wrecked already without even doing much and he wants to know why. 

-All Phil gets in response is a shuddery gasp and a head nod. Phil groans at the sight in front of him. Dan’s cheeks are a rosy pink, lips bitten a similar shade, and his flower crown is askew.

- “Lets take this to the bedroom, yeah?” Phil says and Dan pulls him in the direction of the room before Phil even finished his sentence.

-Phil taking off his clothes, then Dan’s, completely mesmerized by Dan. He is so beautiful, all soft curves and pale limbs. 

-When Dan makes a move to finger himself open with the lube he found, Phil takes his hand and pins it down because no, no way. Phil has been longing for this for what felt like forever there’s no way he won’t take every opportunity to touch Dan. Dan whines in frustration and then pleasure when Phil begins to finger him, finding his prostate in a couple thrusts, making Dan’s back arch.

-Dan riding Phil with his back facing Phil because Phil wanted to see his sexy ass move as he worked himself on his cock like a good boy. 

-Phil staring at Dan’s ass bounce on his cock, Dan moving his hips in circles or back and forth and Phil can barely breathe the feeling is so overwhelming. Dan whimpers out “so deep, so g-good fuck” and Phil snaps his hips up to fuck into him, watching Dan’s body shake with pleasure. As Phil thrusts up, Dan moves down and its perfectly timed to nail his prostate. Its Dan’s undoing and he thinks he actually screams when he comes but he isn’t sure because all he can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and Phil’s groans of “Such a good boy, ride me so good” as he comes as well. 

-After Phil disposes of the condom he cleans up the come on Dan’s stomach and cuddles him close after because after-sex snuggles are a must. Dan traces Phil’s tattoos on his arms and chest, nuzzling at the bit of hair there, still slightly damp from sweat. 

-Dan and Phil whispering sweet nothings to each other, kissing sweat slicked shoulders and giggling at terrible jokes. Dan twists Phil’s pierced nipple gently after a particularly bad pun. Not that Phil is complaining. He wouldn’t complain ever, he’s finally found a perfect match. 

omg a fluffy ass ending as usual jfc

so yeah let me know if you liked it (or if you didn’t) and if you want me to do more headcanons and such send me some asks here :)) xxx

Allura but in a classic 1800′s witchy style :D

..I mean she does have magic powers doesn’t she?? And Haggar is Altean, and is a canon druid–the witch AU thing happened in a jiffy (omg what’s with me and bad puns) well, anyway the lovely @materassassino agreed with me so I drew it :P

thegaypumpingthroughyourveins  asked:


What a good, honest man, that Graves.

anonymous asked:

hey man, if it's not too much trouble, would you mind telling us some more of your trans peter hcs? i just read the original post and i love it :) (please don't feel any pressure to, though!!)

(This ask is so nice omg)

This kinda turned into Peter/Ned/Michelle headcanons my bad, if it’s not what you were wanting I can try again!

-Peter sometimes just sits on the ceiling

-he just

-sits there

-upside down

-one time aunt may came into his room and don’t see him and he dropped down and scared the shit out of her

-she almost grounded him

-Peter thinks it’s just for the pun opportunity of “grounding” him for sitting on the ceiling

-may makes Peter dust the ceiling fans and hard to reach places

-“may I could fall and die. Right now.”

-“if reaching the light is hazardous for you i should probably tell tony to stop letting you scale buildings”

-“mAY WAIT-”

-Peter studies with ned and mj every other weekend

-they usually go to each other’s houses

-rather than actual studying, they usually just end up watch movies

-and tell Peter to stop bouncing his goddamn leg

-they all snuggle on the couch because they’re all pretty touch starved

-Peter plays with mj’s hair while ned plays with Peter’s hair

-may always leaves Peter money to order pizza when they’re at his apartment

-she usually has to work but if she doesn’t she either goes out and lets them have the apartment to themselves or watches movies with them

-she’s really chill so they don’t mind

-she also picks really good movies so it’s a win-win

-At Ned’s house they usually go to the corner store and buy candy and sodas before marathoning old movies

-mj puts together snack trays that she denies making

-“I don’t have that much time, losers”

-they also go see movies at the movie theatre sometimes

-Peter almost always falls asleep during movies

-he doesn’t get a lot of sleep between school, homework, and patrols and he’s most relaxed between Ned and MJ

-he also steals clothes

-like constantly

-he has 3 of Ned’s sweatshirts and 2 flannels from MJ

-everytime Ned or MJ get something back (usually stealing it when he’s not looking) something else goes missing

-it’s not even conscious he’s just really forgetful

-also his puppy eyes are impossible to say no to so one well placed “mj,,, it’s really cold in here” can only end in one outcome

-MJ has one of Peter’s hoodies but it’s mostly out of spite

-she also stole his sweatpants one weekend and Peter hasn’t seen them in months

-Sometimes Ned and Peter build lego sets together while mj reads

-one time Peter and Ned got really into building the millennium falcon at Peter’s apartment

-and mj found Peter’s webshooters

-mj is not allowed to touch Peter’s webshooters anymore

-they had to throw away the Lego set and one of the posters on the wall

-there’s still web fluid residue on Peter’s wall that he can’t scrub off

-they called truce when he pulled mj onto the ceiling with him after they cleaned up though

-sometimes they schedule emergency cuddle days when Peter’s dysphoria worsens or when MJ feels really insecure or Ned has a bad day with his anxiety

-they’ve all learned how to take care of each other in their own ways

-like when Peter gets sensory overload or MJ can’t talk or Ned can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen

-Peter had to go upstate for like a month over summer and either texted or video chatted Ned and MJ all the time

-Peter loves these nerds so much honestly and he feels like the luckiest dude in the world honestly

What I Think of the MLB Episodes - Season 1
  • Stormy Weather: sexual tension also blonde with a fucking parasol
  • The Bubbler: I questioned my love for this show bc of this episode also gay bros
  • Timebreaker: *gasp* LOOK AT THE DARLING GIRL SHE'LL PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH also chat noir is 200% dead
  • Evillustrator: hot damn I live for Nathanael also Marinette's kinda ruDE
  • Animan: a high school aged kid wanted to race a fucking panther also more gay bros
  • Dark Cupid: why did Kim ask Chloe out instead of Max also why didn't we get to see Nathanael try and ask Mari on a date
  • Volpina: Lila more like lie-la also Marinette stop being so rude
  • Horrificator: my poor bean also Nathanael's panic is funny
  • Robocop: WHY ISNT SABRINA DOING ANYTHING ABOUT HER FATHER BEING FIRED also Marinette why are you always so RUDE
  • Copycat: some gay cats also somebody who could definitely be nath's bff
  • Antibug: Sabrina gets the worst Akuma design award and also two? Akumas? In? One? Episode?
  • Lady Wifi: LOTS OF ALYA also me if I was a villain
  • Reflekta: poor Juleka also the gayness is off the charts
  • Princess Fragrance: prince aLI WHY ARE YOU IN FRANCE GO MARRY PRINCESS JASMINE also what a nice lesbian I love rose
  • Simonsayz: I once more question my obsession also Gabriel you're a dick
  • The Mime: that's what it's called right anyway Mylene your dad is so tall also Marinette you put a pocket in a hat
  • Mr Pigeon: *long elongated sigh* no comment
  • Darkblade: nice swords also bad puns
  • Puppeteer: she's like five why would you do that Hawkmoth also CHAT THIS IS A KID's SHOW
  • Kung Food: Marinette your uncle is nice also I would like to try that soup
  • The Pharaoh: alix has a BROTHER also ancient Egypt is so cool
  • Guitar Villain: omg somebody more popular than Marinette so rare also DRAGONN
  • Pixelator: honestly same also wow I can relate so much he's so extra
  • Origins: OHHHHHHH THATS CUTE also wow Ivan your taste in music is like the opposite of Mylene's face