Episode 82 LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED~~~
Jou’s new friend Namu “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Malik” Fakename (fa-keh-na-meh) is particularly enthusiastic to get started!
“I’ll give it ALL my enthusiasm and you can give it ALL your blood, pain, and life energy, eh, Jounouchi?”
Kaiba has laid out a buffet that may or may not include cheeses of nebulously European origin
“That’s why they call them the finals!”
And all but one of the finalists have arrived. Ishizu is still in her room because she’s seen this episode before.
While they’re waiting for Ishizu to not show up, the duelists engage in some friendly chit-chat, and Jounouchi mentally rearranges his list of “worst matchups for me”
SERIOUSLY. Is this Yami Bakura being a little shit, doing a Ryou impression? Or is it Ryou being a little shit? I must know from whom the shittery is originating!
Kaiba, again, gets fed up waiting for Ishizu and has the TO press on without her.
Time to announce the randomly-chosen first pair! How do we choose?
OF COURSE IT’S WITH A BLUE EYES ULTIMATE DRAGON BINGO MACHINE that Kaiba either MADE or HAD MADE #heisnotthecoolone #sorrynotsorry
First up, by the laws of narrative, has to be Yami, so we see all the cool blimp stuff happening first in a protagonist duel. Also first, by Murphy’s law, Little Mr Should-Be-Resting.
Yami. Is. SO. Suspicious.
Now it’s time to reveal Seto Kaiba’s awesome Kilometre High Duel Arena!
this is a CARD GAME.
Well anyway, Yami and I Can’t Believe It’s
Not Ryou are too busy having hate-sex eye-sex to complain about the TERRIBLE CHOICE OF DUEL ARENA and Yami’s not wasting any time pretending like he actually believes it’s metaphorical butter
and Bakura’s not wasting any time getting started on his usual plan of “Eh Fuck It There’s No Plan”
Yami: um, not really.
He doesn’t even TRY to lie, the MOMENT Yami says “[sigh] is that you, Yami Bakura?” he’s like “SURPR– oh you’re not surprised”.
YOU should– YOU SHOULD KNOW– omg are you?? See. Look. I feel like, here, Yami Bakura’s playing all “hehe I’ll keep him guessing”. But. But. This is from This Guy.
so actually I don’t believe you have a plan
AND NEITHER DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND
although it sure LOOKS like Bakura has a plan because him and Marik keep very unsubtly smirking and glaring at one another…
Like four minutes later:
Bakura’s so very cavalier about his LP that even Yami, aka Mr This Might Be A Trap Better Trigger It To Find Out, is pretty hesitant about mowing down the third unprotected monster Bakura leaves out, because he’s pretty sure it’s a trap, but, y’know, he decides to trigger it to find out
He uses his destroyed monsters to summon this thing, which I am calling Why The Doll Tho
the doll chatters, it’s truly horrifying
But Yami’s ready for this bullshit and summons All Time Fave, my girl DMG! Whom Bakura immediately disses
Bakura hadn’t attacked because Yami had a face down card he assumed was a trap, but it was actually Mana’s spellbook, boosting her power enough to destroy Why The Doll Tho!
it’s leg-stretchingly exciting for DMG!
UGH. WORST. WHY THE DOLL THO???
Turns out Bakura is smirking (awkwardly) because once Why The Doll Tho is destroyed, he can summon fucking hell itself I guess because who the fuck even designed this card game anyway #fightmePegasus
But the important thing is, everyone keeps their shit together in front of their 13-year-old sister. ^-^