omg these are bad but whatever

asteadypoint  asked:

WHAT DO YOU DO IF SOMEONE QUEEFS IN BED?! What do I do if my girlfriend queefs? OMG WHAT DO I DO IF I QUEEF! This is one of my biggest fears! HELP PLEASE! Btw I love you 😊😊😊

Um. Don’t make a big deal about it? If you think it’s funny, laugh. If it’s hot, say it’s hot.

Whatever you do do not ignore an obvious thing that happened bc that is soooo much more awkward. Also don’t make her feel bad/grossed out. Bodies are bodies, EVERYTHING IS CHILL

I think queefs are cute.

Français

A few hours ago, as I went out of my French class my brain came up with another idea for a Drarry fic, of course, about languages…

Just imagine

·        After the war, it’s obvious that magical international cooperation is required

·        McGonagall tells Hogwarts students they must learn another language

·        Even those who already know a language apart from English

·        For whatever reason, Harry ends up in French class

·        Guess who the teacher is

·       At first Harry wants to change his choice of language

·       But Draco as a teacher is not that bad

·       Actually, he’s very patient and his French is very fluid

·       And sexy

·       Harry tries his best just to impress his teacher

And that’s all I got in, let’s say, 5 minutes? I haven’t thought too much about it

Storyline of BTS albums
  • No More Dream: I don't have anything I wanna be when I grow up, I'll just do what I want. I have nothing to work for but I want sucess. #Rebel
  • O! R U L8 2?: Screw school, I still don't have any dreams. Whatever. Why we gotta work for nothing?!
  • Skool Luv Affair: Omg, I like this girl!! I suddenly want to go to school now, please accept my love.
  • Dark & Wild: SHE PLAYING ME, WHY DID I EVEN GIVE HER MY TIME OMG
  • HYYH Pt. 1: Crying because I miss her, I need her.
  • HYYH Pt. 2: Screw her, I'm gonna forget about her and do illegal stuff while I'm trying to convince myself I don't need her.
  • HYYH Epilogue: oH SHIZ, doing illegal stuff was bad, my friends are leaving (*cough* dying *cough*), wow I need her back...she's the only one who can save me from myself
  • WINGS: Hahaha, I'm over it all. I'm an adult, I can do adult-ing stuff and be SINgle.
Why? 1/? - BTS Jungkook x Reader

A/N Hellooooooo this is my first scenario so give me some feedback (LMAO ITS SO BAD IM CRI) And sorry if there are any mistakes bc I’m really lazy and quickly edited it (not well though I think) bUT IT’S OK

Tagging the squad bc they all wanted to read this especially @bangthemboystonight like jeSUS YOU KEPT HARASSING ME FOR MORE SNIPPETS CHILL ALISA @samcheonsa @spaghettified-hedgehog @t-aehyungify @daesungisbaesung @actualbtstrash

Prompt: Jungkook cheats on you after an intense fight about him coming home late where he says some hurtful things to you and you leave the house. After a talk with your best friend you decide to come back only to find a strange woman and your husband (Jungkook) in bed together.

Genre: Angst, so much angst

Warnings: Cheating

1 | 2 (being re-written) | 3 (Coming soon)

Originally posted by jengkook

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Cancer Crew - Reaction When They Accidentally Hurt You

For someone that asked me through private messages :))

Max:
Max would continuously ask if you’re okay and he’d just keep saying, “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry” as he gets you an icepack, or whatever you need for the type of injury. When he’s tending to it, he’d ask you if you hated him and he’d just feel really bad.

Ian:
He’d mumble under his breath something like, “shit” or “fuck” and lmao I can kind of picture him doing that thing like you always did with a younger sibling when you hurt them and just immediately started trying to cheer them up so you wouldn’t get in trouble.

Joji:
OMG WHAT IF IT HAPPENED FROM LIKE FAR AWAY RIGHT. LIKE MAYBE DURING THE TRASH BROS FILMING AND LIKE GEORGE THREW DOWN ONE OF THE BARRELS AND IT HIT YOU THIS BOI WOULD SPRINT DOWN THAT HILL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, KILLING ANYTHING THATT GOT IN HIS WAY.

Chad:
He’d be really protective, but once he saw you were okay he’d kind of start to laugh a bit until it turned into his genuine laugh and then he’d just say stuff through his laughter like “Sorry, babe, are you okay?”

If eremin became canon
  • Some of you: ew that doesn't make sense!! they're just friends!! well whatever I'm sure it'll just be a fling, everyone knows Eren will end up with Levi eventually 😍
  • The rest of you: omg so revolutionary!! i shipped it allll along
  • Me, a steadfast eremin shipper since chapter 5: oh goodness
  • Me:
  • Me: I'm sorry, my memory must be failing, I don't remember seeing you at the meetings
  • Me: my apologies, I must've imagined the snk fandom's complete and utter lack of support for eremin
  • Me: but sure
  • Me: yes quite revolutionary who could've seen it coming
Pour Me Out(John Laurens x Reader)

OMG IM MAD CUZ MY COMPUTER SHUT DOWN THE FIRST TIME I TRIED TO POST THIS BUT WHATEVER (Part 1)

Here’s the long awaited part two to Pardon Me. I’m sorry it took so long.

Special thanks to @thinkabout-dreams @always-blame-jefferson @magicalcloud16

Words: 6000 (SCREECH)

Song: Pour Me Out by He Is We

Warnings: blood, angst, flashbacks, cursing


Wake up in the morning it’s not so bad

 “Miss (Y/N), there’s a letter for you!” You dragged yourself out of bed and slowly got dressed. Your leg usually cramped up in the morning, and today was no exception.

“I’m coming, hold on!” The sun was just rising over the horizon, and with it your spirits. The wardrobe groaned as you opened it, and you shuffled through frilly, annoying dresses. In the very back, a pair of pants and a man’s shirt gathered dust. You slowly stopped shifting, and sighed in defeat.

I can taste you on my lips and it makes me sad

 As you buttoned the shirt, you thought back to your dream the night before.

John quickly pushed you to the ground.  

“I’m not letting you get away again.” John pinned your hands above your head.

“John, wh-what are y-you doing?” He leaned down close to your face as your chest heaved.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” Then, he slowly pushed his lips onto yours.

Your hands stilled as a tear dropped down to the floor. Your lips twitched, in need of something they’ve never had. After a brief pause, you wiped your face and left the room.

There’s a part of me that just wants you back

 “Ah, thank you Michael.” The mailboy nodded, then hurried off to finish his deliveries. The calm street was groggily waking up, and the early risers were already heading off to work. A few of the more accepting neighbors waved at you, and you waved back. Others saw you and sniffed at your choice of dress. A flash of blue as it turned the corner had you drowning in the past, and your breath shuddered as you dragged yourself back to the present.

“Is that (Y/N) I see?” A friendly face joked as you met her eyes.

“Is that Peggy Schuyler I see?” Your longtime friend laughed, and made her way over from across the outside of the street.

“How’s your leg, my dear friend?” She gestured towards your leg and screwed her face up. “I still can’t imagine the pain you went through.”

“Ha, yeah.” Your voice sounded fake even to your ears, and apparently Peggy’s too. She dragged you inside your home and slammed the door shut.

“This is about that soldier, isn’t it?” Damn Peggy, she was too observant for her own good. The waterworks started up again, and she dragged your head against her shoulder.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” You shook your head.

“It’s not. I-i just left them. I’m sure they think m-me d-dead.” Her dress darkened as you let out your sorrow out. You were glad your father gave you this house after you returned from the war. He had said something about how you deserved it, and that no matter what, you were still his daughter. The only other resident was your childhood maid Juliette. She looked after as if you were her own.

“Shh, shh.” Peggy lead you into the sitting room, where she set you down on the couch. “I came here to see if you would like to come to Eliza’s wedding.” You sniffed, and furrowed your eyebrows.

“Eliza is to be married? Since when?” Peggy laughed at the confused expression on your face.

“She had only known the fellow for 3 weeks when he proposed. But, she says she’s happy so I won’t discourage her.”

You giggled at Eliza’s antics. “If it’s that’s what she wants then who am I to judge.”

Keep reading

bekadmfb  asked:

Oooo, Kylo! I'm suddenly seeing Danti as this criminal couple with Anti who could hack into the CIA and get away with it and Dark as the smooth talker who could not only talk his way out of any situations, he'd have you thanking him for the pleasure of talking with him.

nice omg i love this 👌

i feel like the both of them working together on a mission would be intense. like anti sneaks in to find the computers and hack into them to get whatever information they need. meanwhile dark mingles with the crowd and keeps everyone distracted. and dark probably has an earpiece so anti can talk with him and they end up just passing snarky comments back and forth with each other over it omg

john and i were talking abt the season 4 art and how Bellona just fucking dipped loki for susano and I just went off for no reason omg.

“LITERALLY SUSANO IS SO FUCKING CRUSTY. IF FOR WHATEVER REASON I HAD TO SPREAD MY LEGS I WOULD SPREAD FOR LOKI. LORD JESUS. SUSANO LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD LIKE KILL A KITTEN WITH HIS STUPID SOUL PATCH. HED JUST. JUST STAB IT. WITH HIS CRUSTY BEARD. YEAH. HIS FACIAL HAIR IS SO FUCKING CRUSTY HE COULD NOT ONLY KILL A KITTEN, HE COULD KILL ME. HE COULD PUT MY LIFE IN DANGER WITH HIS CRUSTY. CRUSTY SELF. LOKI ISNT THAT BAD. HE KEEPS HIMSELF WELL TRIMMED, WELL GROOMED. HE CARES ENOUGH TO NOT LET THE WORLD SEE HIS DUMB NIPPLES. FUCK, SUSANO DOESNT EVEN HAVE GOOD NIPPLES. WHAT EVEN IS A GOOD NIPPLE? NOT SUSANO’S, THAT’S FOR SURE”

anonymous asked:

Keith: *5 shots in and already climbing the outside building wall* Lance: *drunkenly chanting* “SPIDER KEITH, SPIDER KEITH. DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER KEITH DOES” — OH MY GOD I WANNA DRAW THAT SO BAD

PLEASE DO OMG

My Daddy is the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world 😊 Why?
* He gave me all these stuffies 🎀
* He washes me and my hair in the shower, then dries me sweet and softly 😊
* He sends me good morning and good night texts.
* When I’m sad he drops everything to call me or even drive 2 hours to cheer me up.
* He cooks delicious food and feeds it to me when I have troubles eating.
* When I’m upset he always makes me smile.
* He is always happy to see me and shows it.
* Chases my bad dreams away.
* Grows a beard coz his baby thinks it’s sexy (and it is OMG 😍)
* Makes me cum a lot 🙈
* Watches cartoons or whatever I want to watch with me.
* Takes care of everyone he loves and always puts them first.
* Never yells or ignores me.
* Always has appropriate punishes (and let’s me get away with a lot 🙈)
* Has an amazingly busy life and still tries to make as much time as possible free to be with me.
* Always has my best interest at heart and a million other little things that make me love him more and more each day ❤

Thank You Daddy, You really are the bestest, sweetest, and handsomest (i know thats not a word 😋) Daddy a girl could wish for 😗

And no, none of you can have him, he’s all mine 😜
@babysdaddyddlg

anonymous asked:

Omg!!! Could you do a Cayde-6 x reader? Something silly or whatever flows I don't mind. I love Destiny (mostly because I goof off with my friends a lot there) and hunter is my favorite class of all time. :3

Ohh I would love to, but I honestly know fuck about Cayde-6 and Destiny. I never played the game for long for various reasons, not that it’s a bad game but at the time it came out there were some personal things I was going through and thinking about playing it now is… hard.

ANYWAY it doesn’t mean I don’t find Cayde-6 adorable. He’s totally the type of character I would fall for. Maybe I can poke around and see what I can find of him without playing.

Originally posted by katieeprime

…who doesn’t want a cute robot boyfriend lbr here…

anonymous asked:

Have you seen this new video where this guy reviews and talks about the TCC and completely rips out on Dylan? It is titled "Straight Outta Tumblr: True Crime Community | SecondClancy"

Haven’t seen it! Sounds like just another one of those “omg I just discovered the evil TCC and I must tell everyone about it!”-things to me, haha. It’s the same old stuff.. people love to rip on us or misinterpret our stuff or whatever. It’s not really something I care about. If people don’t like what I blog, that’s too bad. Won’t stop me from blogging. That said, this community isn’t free of cringeworthy things or people trying to be edgy so I kinda do understand some of the things that are often said by our anti-visitors to the tags.

anonymous asked:

Elisa telling Sonny and Raf about the last ask

Omg.

Sonny and Rafael are tucking her in for bed that night, and they’ve just finally gotten her as snug and cozy as she likes when Elisa peeps up, “Daddies, Ollie said a bad word today. But it’s okay, ‘cause I told him only papi’s allowed to say bad words!”

Sonny shoots Rafael A Look because clearly the kids must’ve gotten whatever the “bad word” is from him, so Sonny says, “Well why’d you tell Ollie that only daddy can say it, bunny? ‘Cause really, daddy shouldn’t say it all since it’s mean.”

And that last part? Sonny is totally staring right at Rafael as he says it for maximum emphasis. Because, “Kids are like sponges, Rafi.”

Elisa’s green eyes just get wider as she says, “Oh, ‘cause daddy’s old, that’s why. Only old people can say bad words.”

Sonny has to try so, so hard not to lose his everloving shit right there.

Once he and Rafael have said goodnight to Elisa and gotten her tucked in, Sonny can’t help but let a few snickers out at they close her bedroom door - that is, until he sees clearly on Rafael’s face that the whole “old” thing actually kinda bothered him.

So Sonny’s quick to pull him into his arms, quick to nip at his neck and lips, quick to whisper, “Old? Nah. Sexy? Yes.” as he kisses down Rafael’s throat.

And Rafael, well, he feels better now just from those four words out of his husband’s mouth, but why not milk it a little bit more?

So he says, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but Elisa’s right. I’m an old man, love, and it’s way past my bed time.”

Sonny just sucks on his neck a little more, kisses a path until he’s right next to Rafael’s ear, saying, “My sexy old man doesn’t need to do anything, though. He can just lay back and let me do all of the work.”

Rafael stops milking it after that.