Okay so helppp. Everyone seems to have a hc that Draco and Harry are roommates in 8th year and when there’s Music and Moonlight and Love and Romance n all that ish and it’s trés cute but BUT. Nobody seems to have considered the concept of Weasel and Ferret sharing a dorm!? Pining!Harry, Pining!Draco, extremely stressed annoyed and hilarious Ron! Ron becomes matchmaker a la FGS MALFOY SHUT UP ABOUT HARRY FOR A SECOND WONT YOU and then they date and Ron is congratulated and bondingg and help me aa
OKAY but this is an amazing headcanon!!!!!!
- Harry’s really jealous when roommates are assigned, because he wanted to room with Ron of COURSE, what are you talking about?? Why else would he possibly be upset??
- Harry encourages Ron to bitch about Draco’s annoying habits because he’s dying to know exactly what it would be like to live with him
- ”Malfoy sleeps NAKED?! Fuck, that’s ho— aaah— horrible. I can’t believe you get to— I mean have to, yes, of course— live with that, Ron.”
- Harry offers to trade rooms with Ron for a few nights a week because “that’s what friends are for, mate. If you have to suffer Malfoy’s pale skin and cock being on display, then I should get to— HAVE TO suffer it too.”
- MEANWHILE Draco talks about Harry all the time.
- ”I bet you wish you were rooming with Potter instead, don’t you? Perfect Potter. He would be the worst roommate. He would throw his clothes all over my bed, and then I would be able to smell him for days on my pillow. Disgusting.”
- But then one time at like three in the morning Draco randomly starts a genuine conversation with Ron about whether he thinks Potter has forgiven him.
- Ron is like… “Uh, yeah, mate… I reckon so.”
- ”What makes you think that???”
- ”Well… he used to talk about all the evil things he thought you were up to, but now he mostly just talks about your hair”
- ”Oh…..” *long silence* “well I forgive him too, you know. For the Sectumsempra thing. So you can invite him to our room sometimes. I wouldn’t mind.”
- Ron rolls over and is about to fall asleep when he realizes exactly what is happening here and just buries his head under his pillow and vows never to emerge
- Only he does emerge and he invites Harry to his room
- ”Are you sure I should go now? Malfoy might be in there!”
- ”Yeah, he is”
- ”What if I see his cock??”
- ”You— what— uuuh. Well, then you’ll have seen his cock.”
- ”Okay let’s go”
- So then Harry and Ron are hanging out on Ron’s bed while Draco studies at his desk. Until he gets up and announces he needs a nap.
- Of course as we all know Draco sleeps naked, so he starts slowly stripping off his clothes
- Harry is like drooling and making weird whimpering noises and just staring so blatantly it’s ridiculous.
- Ron calmly stands up and walks out the door, shutting it behind him, and neither Harry nor Draco notice.
- A few hours later, Harry asks Ron what he would think about rooming with Neville again
- Ron is overjoyed, switches with Harry that very day, and he lives happily ever after
- except he’s still regularly exposed to naked Malfoy (and Harry now) because those two have no shame at all and they are apparently “too busy” to bother with locks