Beg For It
Lafayette jumped at the knock on the door. It was three in the morning for fuck’s sake.
Lafayette opened the door, surprised to see Hercules. The two had been tiptoeing around each other ever since Lafayette found out and they fought. Lafayette had the mercy not to kick him out of his own apartment, but Hercules had been spending most of the day out and then would come home and sleep in the living room with John and Alex. Alex was angry with Hercules as well, fully taking Lafayette’s side. John was neutral, angry at Hercules as well, but his loyalty to his friend kept him merciful.
“What do you want?” Lafayette asked, swallowing what was either anger, tears, or both.
Hercules didn’t answer at first. “I wanted to talk.”
Lafayette sighed, “Hercules, I don’t have the energy to fight with you right now.”
“I don’t want to fight.” Hercules reasoned, “I’m tired of us avoiding each other and the situation. Just hear me out, please. Can I please come in?”
“Sure,” Lafayette relented, opening the door wider for Hercules.
Lafayette sat on his bed, not offering for Hercules to do the same. He didn’t.
Hercules expected Lafayette to say something. He waited for Lafayette to say something. He didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Hercules began. “I’ll start with that. I know saying sorry doesn’t help. At all. But I do want you to know I regret it.”
“Why did you do it?” Lafayette hissed. “Am I not enough for you? Was she able to give you something I couldn’t provide?” Despite Lafayette promising himself he wouldn’t cry, he was already starting to. Lafayette was always emotional, he hated how vulnerable it made him.
Hercules shook his head. “I honestly don’t know why I did what I did. You’re more than enough for me Lafayette, you always have been. I never understood what I did to deserve you, I obviously don’t.” He laughed bitterly, “I could blame it on alcohol, on her, on any number of things. But in the end, it was only me, making a stupid decision.”
“Then why are you here? Why did you want to talk to me?” Lafayette asked, his voice wavering.
“I want to know what you want. I’m not asking you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to. Not now, not ever. But I can’t handle this. Us avoiding each other, ignoring each other. I can’t handle the silence and I can’t handle the uncertainty. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I’ll leave, I’ll never speak to you again if that’s what you want. Just tell me what you want.” Hercules pleaded.
Lafayette hesitated. He didn’t know what he wanted. Did he want Hercules gone? He was angry, yes, but when he imagined a life without Hercules…
He stood, meeting Hercules’ eyes. “I don’t want you to leave.” Lafayette caught the exact moment as Hercules’ eyes flashed with hope but quickly died out right after. “I want to forgive you, I really do. I’m just not sure how.”
Hercules nodded, “I know what I did was horrible. But I would do anything to get you to forgive me.” Lafayette said nothing. “What do I have to do? Beg for it?” Hercules asked, sarcasm lightly dancing in his words. Lafayette almost said yes, he almost wanted to see Hercules beg for Lafayette’s forgiveness and love, but Lafayette wasn’t that cruel. Besides, it would have been a miracle to see Hercules, the stubborn, hot-headed giant Lafayette had grown to love, on his knees and begging.
Lafayette’s eyes widened when Hercules did just that.
Hercules got onto his knees, taking Lafayette’s hands in his. Lafayette didn’t pull away, too shocked by what he was seeing. Begging during sex was one thing, this was something entirely different. Hercules was surrendering his dignity to Lafayette. His pride. Hercules wouldn’t do this for anyone else.
“I’m sorry Lafayette, I really am. I love you, more than I love anyone else. You’re everything to me, Lafayette. I would do anything just to keep you in my life. You don’t have to forgive me now, you don’t ever have to forgive me. But you need to know that I do love you, and I never wanted to hurt you.” Hercules had a single tear running down his cheek, which shook Lafayette greater than anything else that happened since Hercules walked in.
Hercules never cried. Never. Lafayette had never seen him cry. “Hercules…” Lafayette trailed off. He didn’t know what else to do. He got on his own knees, hugging Hercules tightly.
“D-Do—” Hercules began.
“No,” Lafayette cut him off. “Not yet. I don’t forgive you yet. I need time.” Lafayette admitted. “But I can start.”
Hercules pulled back, smiling a little. Lafayette was smiling a little too. “That’s all I wanted.” Hercules sighed. “You know, I love you.”
Lafayette nodded. “I know.”
Written by Hamildabbing