ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH
His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)
He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.
The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up
AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES
Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.
Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.
And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™
He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????
In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM
EARLIER: Poirot: *putting on his new expensive perfume in the bathroom* Miss Lemon: He went straight inside as soon as he came back from the shops. Didn’t even read his letters. Hastings: Strange. Miss Lemon: Perhaps he is dyeing his hair. Hastings: But he’s a man.