omg he just feels so bad

anonymous asked:

I'm all for freedom of speech and dark humor but I gotta say that people here have no manners. What happened to respecting orhers? Not making fun of something you know is difficult topic for the person should be the most basic thing. Everyone just want to be edgy so bad that they forget what is it to be a decent human being

SERIOUSLY though.
I always feel so bad for these sensitive, impressionable kids who get attacked by full grown adults. This isnt a “omg but hes a minor he cant be called out!!” thing because I don’t agree with that. This isnt some idiot teen saying something cringey or hateful. This is a 14 year old rape victim who vented about being sensitive to rape jokes, only to have adults put rape jokes on his fucking post. WHO DOES THAT?

Y'all seriously, I had a guy abuse me for months and I struggled for years with anorexia (to name a few issues) so if you want to make awful jokes and hurt someone, do it to me. I’m an adult and at least I understand how to deal with it. Sick fucks.

Gentle reminder: GERMANY AND ITALY CANONICALLY CUDDLE IN BED.

look at that hard af nipple tho

HE DID NOT RESPOND WITH:

Yelling at Italy

Hitting Italy

Pushing Italy off of him

Scaring Italy away

Freaking out at Italy

Being mean to Italy in any way shape or form

HE’S PRETTY MUCH JUST LIKE:

“Yea sure you can cuddle my man tiddies, but move your pasta lovin’ ass over.”

So don’t feel bad about being OOC when Germany reciprocates or accepts Italy’s affection, he ain’t a monster.

ALSO:

HE IS ALSO SCARED OF GHOSTS????? WHY DOES NOBODY MENTION THIS??? LOOK AT HIM !!!!

Sober

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader is drunk and she tries to have sex with her best friend Jensen.

Prompt: “Why are you in my bed?!”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,757

Requested: @supernaturalgirl85


Jensen tiredly drudges up the stairs in his Malibu home, grumpy as all hell. He just lost $2,000 at a poker game and it’s safe to say that he’s ripshit.

Although he’s not concerned about actually losing the money, being a successful movie director has set his ass up for life.

It’s just the fact that he lost. He’s a competitive fucker, always has been and always will be. It’s in his DNA.

And to add fuel to the fire, his friends refused to give him another chance to win back his money. Claiming it’s too late and they needed to call it a night. It’s only midnight for Christ’s sake. Old bastards.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! You seem to enjoy cute asks, how about RFA/V/Saeran sharing bed with MC for the firstest time? First is always special; will they be super nervous and self-conscious? Spend a sleepless night afraid their love might stop breathing? (happened to me once!) Or just immediately relax and cuddle all night? Hog the blanket? Or would there be instant passion? But definitely MC won't take "i'll sleep on the couch" for an answer!

A/N: This is so cute i do enjoy cute thANK YOU (mainly because I can’t do angst i kinda just…. *slowly slides the angst inboxes to 626*) ~Admin 404

cRYING I LOVE THINKING ABOUT SLEEPING WITH V THANK U NONNIE ~ Admin 626

*YOOSUNG:
-EXCITED AS ALL HELL HE’S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE YES MC COME HERE
-He’d be pretty self-conscious about moving or snoring or something
-WHAT IF HE DROOLS ON MC OMG N O
-He’s so scared and tries to stay awake
-But that doesn’t work out, he falls asleep pretty quickly
-BLANKET HOG
-He likes to roll himself up into a blanket burrito and subconsciously forgets that you’re in bed with him
-It’s like fighting to the death to get into that blanket burrito just so you don’t freeze
-He’s used to cuddling a smaller stuffed animal, so he isn’t used to the fact that you’re a normal sized person
-You end up being the big spoon but that’s okay because he’s such a cutie omg

*JUMIN:
-Cool Calm Collected™
-Until it acTUALLY CAME TO IT *Internal screaming*
-He holds you close and absolutely loves the feel of you there
-You’re like a little heater and just WOW laying with you is way different than laying with Elizabeth
-But he just cannot sleep? No matter how hard he tries?
-He’s tried counting sheep, focusing on his breathing, focusing on YOUR breathing, but nothing worked out
-Gave up and accepted that he wasn’t going to sleep that night, he’ll have to drink a lot more coffee in the morning than usual
-It’s just what he’s used to, so it’s really hard to get comfortable enough to sleep
-He couldn’t help but admire how cute you looked when you were asleep, he couldn’t look away (though sometimes he forced himself too because wow jumin that’s a lil creepy stop that)
-Never once let you go though. If it seemed like you were waking up in the middle of the night, he’d hold you closer and internally freak out. He wanted you to have a perfect night’s sleep! Waking up would ruin that! HIS DARLING MC NEEDS TO SLEEP EVEN IF HE CAN’T

*SAEYOUNG:
-Immediately falls asleep
-He has no problems sharing a bed
-He snores a little bit but it’s sooooo cute omg
-Rolls over and cuddles you as close as you can get to his chest
-Nuzzles his face against the top of your head and he’s just aDORABLE
- honestly he’s just glad he didn’t have any nightmares this time
-But he’s SUCH A BED HOG
-You wake up because??? Your ass hit the floor
-AND HE DIDN’T WAKE UP. HOW DID THE LOUD ASS THUNK NOT WAKE HIM UP????
-You throw yourself across him just so you can lay down and attempt to sleep and he just doesn’t move. He gets a good night’s sleep but you’re left strung across him, uncovered, annoyed

*SAERAN:
-He really didn’t want to because he’s very uncomfortable
-But he’ll give it a shot, just for you
-Absolutely no sleep at all (poor bby ;A;)
-What if you stopped breathing? What if something happened in your sleep? WhaT IF
- pls calm down saeran and just sleep
-He does like holding you though, won’t admit it, but he does
-When you put his head to your chest, hoLY SHIT
-He’s calmed down by the sound of your heartbeat cutie cutie
-Always makes sure you’re covered, comfortable, not too hot, not too cold
-Likes to drag his fingertips up and down your spine but if you make any sort of movement he practically throws himself away from you because he’s embarrassed

*ZEN
- hE’S SO HAPPY
- but also really nervous???
- what if the beast comes out wHAT WILL HE DO
- he obviously wouldn’t do anything but still
- but all the nervousness goes away once he sees how sleepy you are
- oMFG YOU’RE ADORABLE IN UR PAJAMAS
- totally not staring at ur legs
- and you find out Zen is a HUGE snuggler
- you should have known this???
- like he’s so affectionate when he’s awake, it just makes sense for him to treat u like a teddy???
- you’re dying cause he’s like a furnace and u jUST WANNA SLEEP but you can’t wake him up he’s so adorable
- since this your first time ever, of course he’s gonna be extra dramatic
- when he wakes up, he’s gonna stare at u cause ur gorgeous even with all the drool
- he showers you in kisses omg
- he just spends the morning spoiling you cause you’re his princess <3
 
*JAEHEE
- the first time you guys share the bed it’s totally an accident???
- usually after you two do the diddly do, you end up going home because you don’t have enough stuff at jaehee’s to stay over
- but over time all of your stuff magically started to collect at her place
- hell, the closet is is 75% yours
- so one night after the frick frack, you’re just chilling in bed with her, she’s drawing imaginary designs on you
- and you’re both so exhausted from work that you just fall asleep
- when you wake up in the morning, you find her snuggled up to her pillow and you burst out giggling
- you quiet yourself down though because you don’t wanna wake her up yet <3
- since she finally has a day off, you wanna let her sleep in and yOU’RE GONNA TREAT HER LIKE A PRINCESS TODAY
- you finally get up and make breakfast for two <3
 
*V
- you and V take naps together all the time
- it’s like a hobby for u two
- so you thought sharing the bed the first time together wouldn’t be a big deal
- except you find yourself freaking out???
- he’s gonna see you when you wake up in the morning and you’ll look so ugly omg
- so you do everything you can to make sure you wont look to bad in the morning
- you use expensive perfume, you wear silk pajamas, you moisturize the heck out of your skin
- and when V walks in, you feel so ridiculous omg
- he’s just wearing normal pajamas, his hair is messy
- he knows he’s gonna look like a hot mess when he wakes up, he aint about to try
- when he sees you, his eyes widen cause damn u lookin fine, but he laughs because he knows exactly how ridiculous your thoughts must have been for u to do this
- so he just hugs you and you both go to bed and snuggle the heck out of each other <3
- you totally don’t set an alarm to wake up before him
- he also didn’t do the same exact thing

 (FIC REC MASTERPOST)

- Why Can’t It Be Like That , by @taggiecb : Louis Tomlinson, head of his local hospital’s charity fund, suddenly finds himself in the heart of the Royal family when his mother marries the third son of the reigning monarch. Such an upset in lifestyle brings a lot of changes for Louis, one of them being the need for a stylist. Enter Harry Styles, a cutting edge fashion stylist who loves his job and prides himself on his passion. The first time he sees Louis Tomlinson on the cover of a tabloid he wants to dress him, style him, make him as beautiful as Harry knows he could be. When he’s hired to do just that, he knows this will be a perfect partnership. That is, until he actually meets the man.A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn’t need a stylist, Harry’s thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they’re both very wrong about each other.

Larry Royal AU with a twist (93k, E) : Stylist Harry and newbie kind of Prince Louis, totally hate to love and angsty (meaning ammmmaaazing angry sex (bottom Louis) ) and miscommunication. read this !

- How Fast You Fall , by @fullonlarrie : They meet as transfer students at university orientation, and Louis wants Harry the first time he sees him. But Louis isn’t looking for a boyfriend. With school and work, he doesn’t have time for anything more than a casual hookup. When they become roommates, Louis decides it’s best not to pursue Harry and take the chance of messing up their living situation. They quickly become good friends and soon Louis realizes that his attraction is much more than just physical. However, because Harry has a plan to stay single and celibate until he graduates, Louis assumes that he doesn’t stand a chance, and tries everything he can think of to make himself forget about his feelings for Harry. 

Larry Uni/Roomates/Friends to lovers AU (50k, E) : aaahhhhhhh this fic is awesome !! A lot of pining and sexual tension, and also an amazing plot twist I don’t want to spoil (but it’s linked to Love Actually). So fucking good ! (hot smut too, kind of share that)

- Looking Through You , by @allwaswell16 : Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.

Larry BFF to lovers AU (41k, E) : my heeeeeart. My feeeels. Songwriter Louis and famous singer Harry, so much angst omg, it’(s amazing read this. (bottom Louis)

- Too good to be bad, by @latitta : “You’ll never guess who’s here,” Louis rushes out, knowing very well that this is not how it’s supposed to go. “Louis, we should focus on the mission.” “I know, but it’s Harry, Li.” Liam falters for a second. “Training camp, sexual awakening Harry?” Or: Two spies, one mission, zero things left in common between them.

Larry Spy AU (24k, E) : with a ex to lovers and hate to love plot, some sexual tension and high sex (bottom Harry).

- Have Me And Hold Me , by @letsjustsee :  His clumsy trips were now even more burdened by the sudden downpour. Twice he almost fell making his way back to the ceremony area, mostly due to his insistence on running across the lawn in between trips. The rain was relentless, coming at him from all angles with a deafening wind that muted everything outside of his own heavy breathing.
He felt like he was making pretty good headway, all things considered. His pace was stalled only momentarily when, on his tenth or so trip, he thought about what someone looking out the window at that moment would see. Louis in his formal shirt and trousers, barefoot, stomping through the muddy lawn to gracelessly lug two chairs at a time towards the building.
Or, a wedding day AU in which Louis will let nothing stand in the way of a perfect day - especially a little rain.

Larry established relationship and Wedding AU (6k, NR) : OMG i genuinely cried !! so fucking cute and fluffy, and not at all what I was thinking about ^^’

- Outside Is Just A Blur , by  daggerandtherose : Louis’ son might just be a technology genius as he has quite a knack for calling strangers up on Louis’ phone.  Repeatedly.

Larry single dad Louis (18k, NR) : fluffy and cute, with no smut :)

- Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake  , by @all-these-larrythings  ( Rearviewdreamer ): Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn’t know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he’s ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

Larry mpreg AU (58k, M) : When Doctor Harry met Teacher Louis in vacation … It’s been a long time I haven’t read mpreg , but this one is really great !! barely angsty, fluffy and sweet :) (obviously Bottom Harry for the smut)

- The Melody You Never Heard , by @anylessreal ( bananasandboots ): It’s one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall’s his best mate. Liam’s been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can’t disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis.  Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he’s never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn’t brought up in three years because it’s stupid and embarrassing and confusing. Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

Larry Camping AU (30k, E) : hate to love, full of banters and flirting and boys being bad at communication :D  (not top or bottom, but - great- smut)

Dating Emmett Cullen would include:

Originally posted by essenceofimagination

  • Forehead kisses
  • Cheek kisses
  • Neck kisses
  • He kisses you everywhere 
  • And it can be in a completely nonsexual way 
  • Because he just likes adoring every inch of you 
  • (it can also be in a very sexual way) 
  • (because he will make sure he adores every inch of you) 
  • lets be honest Emmett crushes on you like a total dork 
  • like running into you in the hallway at school and pretending it was an accident
  • or trying to read the books he sees you reading 
    • some of them he ends up really liking 
    • some of them he just asks Edward or Jasper about  
  • He looks at your schedule and then changes his to be in more classes with you 
  • Ends up in classes he is in no way equipped for 
    • Like AP Physics 
    • Or an advanced art class 
  • But it works out because you offer to tutor him one day 
  • Him sneaking out to meet you somewhere bc there’s no way he could explain to a family of scholars why he’s being tutored by a high school kid
  • He just listens to your voice and smiles the whole time you’re trying to teach him  
    • “Emmett, are you even listening to me?” 
    • “Every word.” 
  • Eventually he gets to the point he can casually flirt with you without making a fool out of himself 
  • He’s never actually forgotten a word you’ve said to him
  • Knows everything about you before you even get together
  • Probably broke into your house at some point to steal a sweater bc he likes the way you smell 
  • Or to try and find a diary of some sort bc he needs to know if you like him and Edward won’t tell him what you’re thinking 
  • He gives Edward shit for watching Bella sleep all the time but he sits outside your house at night to make sure you’re safe
    • He tends to be very restless but when it comes to you he could sit there for hours and listen to how steady your breathing gets when you sleep 
    • It calms him down 
  • When you finally ask him out on a date he gets flustered as fuck 
    • “I … uh–you y ou wanna go out? With me?” 
  • He’s no less flustered when he picks you up at your house
  • You’re trying not to laugh bc he’s wearing a tie and it’s cute as hell but you can tell he hates it 
  • He gets totally embarrassed when you find his music
    • He has things like Miles Davis and Elvis but also things like Pussycat Dolls Greatest Hits  
    • The entire Grease Soundtrack 
    • And Grease 2 
  • Gets all his romance tips from the 1950s 
  • Calls you baby, babe, doll
  • Digs out a letterman jacket from the actual 1950′s for you to wear 
  • Wants you to wear his class ring 
    • “Emmett, this is from 1945. People are actually gonna think I’m dating my grampa” 
  • He tries so hard to take the relationship slow
  • Fails mostly 
  • Probably accidentally bruised you a few times during makeout sessions  
  • Feels v bad about it.
  • You do not mind. 
  • Him touching you all. the. time. 
  • Grabs your ass whenever he catches a guy staring at you 
  • Grabs your ass on the daily 
    • even in front of his family 
    • just for no reason 
  • Total pillow princess 
  • He’s never particularly dominant and can even be kinda submissive 
  • Wants to have sex 24/7 
  • Even after you’re a vampire you can’t keep up 
  • He’d be sO FUCKING NEEDY omG 
  • LIKE HE’D LEAVE YOUR HOUSE AND BE TEXTING YOU .2 SECONDS LATER 
  • Loves you unconditionally
  • Firmly believes you can do no wrong
  • Will fight anyone who says otherwise 
  • You, Rosalie, and Jasper form a relationship solely on shared glances whenever Emmett does something stupid 
  • The stupid things he does are almost always to show off for you
  • Gets v pissed at Jasper in Eclipse for putting him on his ass in front of you
  • Introduces you as ‘My Girl/Boy’ or ‘My baby’ 
  • You wear his clothes to tease him
  • Nothing drives him crazier than seeing you in his clothes askdjhkjh 
  • You wear his boxer shorts a lot 
  • And his basketball shorts
  • It’s the single sexiest thing he’s ever seen 
  • lets be honest he’s probably given you a lapdance or two 
    • unironically 
  • Emmett wanting a huge white wedding and a huge white house
    • both of which so that he can show you off to everyone within miles 
  • He swears he’ll follow you to whatever college you want to go to 
  • You two being absolute children together
  • Forever. 
3

Watercolor Poth! \(^v^)/
⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺

Gosh, I love these two… ;3 (And yes, I ship them XD)

(And I kinda don’t know what else to say.. So… Yeah XD)

⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺⭐️🌺

Palette Roller belongs to @angexci

Goth belongs to @nekophy

I probably shouldn’t have laughed but I did. My Sim had the hots for the guy that dropped off her puppy from the animal shelter so I bumped up their friendship meter with a cheat and invited him over. They started dating and I wanted to see his house but I couldn’t find it so I decided to invite him over and then send him back home to see where he lived. He ran over to the next building (an apartment building) and went to sleep on the bench in the lobby as seen here. OMG, he’s homeless! I guess it makes sense, characters like him are just kind of generated as they were needed, but nonetheless it made me laugh and feel bad at the same time.
So then this is where it got better: I had her leave the building and then re-enter and he disappeared without a trace. However he did show up on the call box (as if he lived in the building) so I called him with the call box to ask him to buzz me in and he ran through the front door again to greet me. So strange.

Lee Taeyong: Pretty Boy


“Babe?”

No answer.

“…Babe?” Again, no answer from the boy who was sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap.

“Taeyong.” Yet again, you receive no response from your boyfriend. You were standing by the kitchen entrance, staring at him with a frown. Was he giving you some sort of silent treatment? But what did you even do?

You slowly approach him but then come to a sudden stop. You want to try and recall the events that happened between you, so that’s what you do.

Did anything happen this morning? I don’t think I did anything to upset him or make him mad, did I? I made him breakfast and we ate together… This afternoon… Oh! I remember! We went shopping and… we took selfies! Then I criticized him. I made fun of his photo taking skills. Also because the filters were ugly. Right. Oh Taeyong…

Earlier in the day, both of you decided to go shopping, getting information from your friend that there were sales going on. When you were inside one store, Taeyong asked you to join him in his mirror selfie and you happily agreed. In another, he had asked you again to take a selfie with him while standing in a section full of hoodies. You didn’t ask why and just joined him. The thing was, while the both of you went to go eat, you saw him editing your selfies from earlier and you pointed out that the filters were really ugly. Your criticism probably made him feel bad and upset. On the way home though, he looked fine. But once you reached home, he’s been in his whole world.

You sigh and walk towards him.

“Taeyongie…” His legs were spread out a bit so you stay between them. “I think I know why you’re upset.” You slowly lift up his chin with your hand as the other one rests on his shoulder. The laptop is the only thing blocking you from sitting on his lap. You look at each other and he’s giving you this soulless stare that kind of makes you regret approaching him.

“What.” He mumbles and avoids your gaze. “I’m busy.” You roll your eyes because you notice that he isn’t even doing anything on his laptop. His wallpaper, which is a photo of you both and your friend’s at his 21st birthday party, is being shown. Has he been staring at it the whole time? Waiting for you to come and talk to him?

“I, um… Sorry Tae. For judging you about the filters and stuff earlier. Please don’t beat yourself up over that, sweetheart.” You’re now cupping his cheeks and lightly running both your thumbs on his cheekbones. He doesn’t give you a reply, his eyes staring at his hands that are placed on top of his laptop.

“…How will you make it up to me?” He finally answers you, placing his laptop on the other side of the couch. He looks up to you but a frown is still on his face. “You made my mood down for the whole day, babe. How could you tell me that. You’re mean.” He mumbles sadly and leans back on the couch.

You let out a laugh and sit on his lap, your arms going around his neck. “I’m really sorry. I really didn’t think it would make you feel like this. It was my mistake. But hey, I’ll teach you how to take pictures with the right filters. You can count on me.” You wink. Taeyong rolls his eyes and places his hands on your sides. “Actually, you don’t even need to use a filter, you pretty boy.” You explain, grinning.

“…Can we take pictures now, then?” He asks, ready to bring out his phone from his pocket.

“Hm, later. After this.” Before Taeyong could talk again, you move closer to him and bring your lips to his, giving him a long and sweet kiss. You feel Taeyong squishing your sides and you squirm, making him chuckle.

Shortly after, you lean back and smile at him. “Forgiven?”

“Yeah, yeah. Forgiven. Can you teach me now?” Even if Lee Taeyong was upset over this little thing, he couldn’t really hold a grudge against you. He was always a softie for you. He would gladly learn from you (and be better at it so that he could tease you after).

“Give me your phone, then. Your girlfriend will show you how to take the best selfies ever.” Winking at the boy who was showing you an amused look, you move to his side. You hold his phone close to your faces, ready to take several photos of you together.

Taeyong eventually mastered the use of filters and his selfie skills. Now, he was teasing you. It was also your turn to give him frowns and a silent treatment the whole day. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Makeup Voiceover;Mark

Request: could you please do a mark scenario where his girlfriend is a beauty youtuber and they do the “boyfriend does my voiceover” challenge?

  • okay before i start i want to apologise in advance because i don’t use make up at all so i’m not familiar with the termologies or brands skmdnd
  • and im just really bad with anything that’s got to do with make up so!!
  • and this was shorter than expected :-(
  • without further a do,
  • let’s start

  • so you had always wanted him to do it

  • and all your subscribers know how cute you both are and they’ve been requesting non stop
  • but shy mark was so afraid and scared he couldn’t do it until you agreed to spend the whole day cuddling with him
  • and he agreed almost immediately
  • “if i knew you’d agree that quickly, i should’ve said that earlier”
  • “hehe don’t break your promise!!”
  • so you lock him out of your room so you can film your makeup tutorial video
  • and you decided to just go for a simple and casual look
  • and outside you can hear mark calling haechan
  • on speaker
  • “why am i nervous for this”
  • “it’s only a voiceover?? it’s not like you’re showing your face”
  • “yeah i know, but my heart’s beating so quickly im-”
  • “shut up and just do it, you can rap in front of so many people but you can’t do a single voiceover? surely absolutely fully capable!”
  • “i called you to give me encouragement but i guess you’re right”
  • and thanks to your professional and talented™ skills,
  • you finish in 15 minutes
  • and after checking the clip one last time,
  • you call mark in to sit beside you,
  • a mic in front if him
  • “just say whatever that appears on the screen, i showed it to you bright and clear!!”
  • you see him nervously smiling and giggling,
  • before clearing his throat and pressing the record button
  • “uhm… hi everyone, it’s mark, y/n’s boyfriend and as you can tell i’ll be doing her makeup voiceover for today, i heard you guys have been requesting this for quite some time now, so here it is”
  • and you smile brightly at him, giving him a small thumbs up to nudge him to continue
  • “as you can tell she’s barefaced right now- still as beautiful as ever and i can never ever see a difference- but oh my goodness what is with that pout, how cute”
  • “she’s holding up a small little stick right now, oh wait- it’s the nyx foundation stick”
  • “ahh, apply it in small streaks around your face and make sure to find the correct shade for yout skin tone!”
  • “spread it out evenly, you don’t want any patches”
  • “she looks so beautiful-”
  • whispers mark, focus”
  • “haha oh- next you want to take this eyebrow pencil”
  • “i can’t see the brand and words it’s too small”
  • “i’m serious oh my god, stop giggling at me”
  • “it’s okay- anyways, you want to start shading your eyebrows”
  • “make sure they’re symmetrical”
  • “how did she do it in one go, that’s my talented girlfriend right here”
  • “oh no her smile is so cute”
  • “mark stop it i’m blushing like mad right now- okay guys i’m sorry if you hear small conversations like these, he’s just sitting beside me recording right now”
  • “i can’t help it”
  • “you want to do your eyes next”
  • “she’s using the naked2 eyeshadow palette- i’ve seen this somewhere before- and she’s going to use the lightest shade of brown”
  • “oh it’s shiny”
  • “apply it gently on your eyelids”
  • “she did it again guys, in one try, that’s my girl”
  • “oh she’s moving on to the blush already?”
  • and he whispers to you
  • “you’re not applying highlight?”
  • “i was too lazy, but anyways continue babe”
  • “you still look good anyways”
  • “why is she giggling to herself”
  • “huh- wait isn’t that my voice”
    • the background plays his conversation with hyuck *
  • “i didn’t know i was that loud- oh my god”
  • “she can’t stop laughing, look at her face HAHAHA”
  • “im so embarrassed but she looks so cute giggling to herself wow”
  • “on a side note, haechan if you’re seeing this we both got exposed”
  • “okay she’s calmed down now”
  • “she’s using a very light shade of pink, just perfect for her natural rosy cheeks”
  • “her side view is wow…”
  • “she’s smiling again aw how cute”
  • “her cheeks are all pink now”
  • “i want to pinch those cheeks so badly haha”
  • “ow omg don’t do that”
  • “guys he literally just pinched my cheeks”
  • “hehe”
  • “on to the lipstick-”
  • “OH SHE’S USING THE ONE I GOT HER”
  • “aw babe”
  • “story time: i actually got this for her last week because she was having bad day and i thought this might make her feel better”
  • “yes thank you so much mark, i love it and i love you”
  • “i love you too”
  • “it’s actually the moonshot lipstick”
  • “ahh.. it’s the peach and cream shade!! i remembered it hehe”
  • “i thought that she’d look gorgeous in it so i decided to get that shade”
  • “look at the way she pouts her lips again- how adorable”
  • “oh my goodness, i just realised she actually did all of that without using any mirrors, how wonderful can she be???”
  • you’re blushing like mad again at this point of time
  • and you see him frown and pout a little
  • “it’s come to an end already?? that’s fast”
  • “anyways look at my princess posing for the camera- you look great”
  • “look!! at!! her!! smile!!”
  • and he starts giggling
  • “anyways i hope all of you enjoyed watching this!”
  • “thank you for subscribing and supporting my baby and watching all her videos”
  • “continue doing that and give her all the love she deserves!!”
  • “it’s been mark here, hope to see you again hehe”
  • and he giggles again
  • he lets out a breath of relief and you give him the warmest hug ever
  • his words never fail to make you feel better about yourself
  • and he gives you a small peck on your lips,
  • “can i do that again someday? i actually liked that hehe”
  • “of course mark, anytime”
  • “and you did great, like always”
fwb // harry styles oneshot

The moment Harry entered your place, using the key you had left him, he was met with the sight of you in his black mesh see-through shirt that he had left at your place a couple of months back, your bum peeking out from underneath it and he silently growled from the fact that you were wearing his favourite red lace underwear.

You turned around at the sound of the door opening and you greeted him with a bright toothy grin, one that looked so innocent and sweet, one that contradicted heavily with what you were wearing. He cursed under his breath when he found his shirt unbuttoned, your sternum and part of your chest out on display. He approached you slowly and slid his hand under your shirt and around your waist, his lips pressing to your cheek and then very quickly letting go.

“Nice outfit.” Harry smirked down at you, stepping away and taking off his boots, leaving them neatly by the door.

“Thanks. I know.” you chuckled slightly, amused at his greeting.

You both stalked to the kitchen and he sat at one of the stools, his phone in his hands, typing away.

“So, how have you been? I haven’t seen you in a bit.” you broke the silence, preparing him and yourself some coffee.

“V’ been good. Great, actually. You know I’ve been busy with the album and promo and what not. But it’s a good time.”

The last time you saw Harry was about a month or two ago, and you two had spent the morning sprawled between the sheets savouring your time together.

“Well glad to know the rockstar cut some time out of his very busy schedule to come hang out with me. I’m honoured, really.” 

“Will always have time for you, petal, you know that.”  

You smiled at his sweet tone. You handed him his cup and climbed up the kitchen island to sit close to him, your feet dangling and occasionally touching his thigh.

“You know petal? Spending these past two months without you made me realize how much I miss having you around.” He grabbed your ankles and pulled you closer to him so that your knees would be surrounding his figure.

“Hm. Don’t you go soft on me, Styles.” You raised an eyebrow at his behaviour. You weren’t complaining, it was just odd. You usually spent your time teasing each other or making snarky comments. So, him being all sweet and nice was something you still weren’t sure what to think of.

“Oh, and I also missed fucking your tits.” He added, with a straight face, his head coming to lay on your chest. You laughed loudly at his comment, your hand weaving through his hair and massaging his head.

“There you go, I thought I lost you for a second in the midst of all that lovey dovey shit.” 

“But I really did miss you though,” he mumbled against your chest.

You lifted up his chin and locked eyes. “I’ve missed you too.”

When you leaned in to kiss his nose, his eyes fluttered shut. He felt frightened by the way that simple little action made his heart beat faster, and ignited a flame in his whole body.

You pulled away and jumped off the counter too quickly for his liking and he pouted at you.

“Listen, I’m gonna go take a shower really quickly, and then I’m going to give you all my time for the rest of the day, okay rockstar?”

“Can I join you?” 

“No, I said it was going to be quick, and we both know you and I have very different interpretations of the word ‘quick’.”

“Fine.” He huffed out, getting up from his spot and moving to the couch.

“Won’t be gone for too long.” You assured him again and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

As he sat on the couch, Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had missed you. A lot. Not just the time you spent together fucking each others’ brains out. But, your post-sex cuddles, your useless and silly conversations, all the inside jokes that you’ve accumulated throughout your time of knowing each other, the way you looked sleeping next to him, your blushing cheeks whenever he pinched your bum whilst cuddling, the way you would sometimes pinch his as payback, and your laugh. Fuck, he loved your laugh.

He was stunned by his own thoughts. He wanted to tell you everything he thought of you, but he was certain that you would undoubtedly end the agreement you two had set up, and he would probably never see you again. That would kill him. So, for now, he would just keep his mouth shut.

                    _______________________________________

A/N: this was so fucking bad omg, but feel free to tell me your opinions anyway lmao

anonymous asked:

Dating johnny headcanons?

yes!!! omg

-so much handholding
-he’s dead the kid to always be staring at u with awe cause he thinks ur so gorgeous
-wheN YALL ARE CUDDLING HE LIKES HUMMING
-johnny is not aLL about PDA
-but in private, he literally just always wants to be snuggled up to u
-or u snuggled up to him
-around 984748484 other fuzzy warm blankets
-this is his favorite thing, fight me
-his kisses are tender, passionate and sweet
-tbh he feels bad always being at the curtis house or ur house when shit goes down at his but ur folks fucking love him like
-“do u wanna stay for dinner”
-“nah i don’t wanna be a bother….“
- “ok so drumstick or wing”
-“if u don’t mind, could i have a drumstick?”
- *gives him both*
- “i said-”
- “i know what u said”
-he’ll go to crazy extents to be there for u or protect u
-there is never a time when you’re walking home by yourself…….. like ev e r
-w johnny, it’s always “buttercup” or “honeybunch”
-“rise and shine buttercup” is his phrase
-johnny will NEVER hesitate to give u his jacket
-like sometimes u don’t even fuckin ask for it, he just gives it to u
-he’s the type to say “hey, i love you”
- just to make sure you always know
- most often while ur doing something random like cooking, or reading or smiling
- but especially when u wake up after a nap together aW
-tbh johnny feels weird saying “i love you”
- bc he rarely has ever heard it except at the curtis house especially from mrs curtis to johnny himself sometimes
- like if he stood over for dinner
- like “ok johnny!! you can always come over if you need to. get home safe, i love you!”
- and he had been beAMING
- so when he says it to u, he really means it from what he can understand about it
-this kiddo loves this girl so much his lil heart can’t handle it sometimes
-whenever he’s at the lot, you’re there to drag him to ur place
- even though he’s reluctant
- “but-”
- “nO UR COMING”
- or sometimes he’ll yank back and y'all sit down and watch the stars
-he literally loves giving u small kisses on your nose!!!!!!
-YALL GETTING TEASED BY THE GANG
-where u headed johnny?”
- “i’m going t-”
- “gonna gO SEE Y/N??”
-AND ALL THE GANG JUMPS IN
- “OOOH TELL HER HI FOR ME”
-“USE A RUBBER ;)))”
-“i can never get a word out around u guys can i”
-dally is dead giving him pointers bc johnny isn’t as experienced w sex or relationships or love tbh
- "man tug her hair, girls love that”
- *tugs hair one day*
- "ow wyd”
- “DAL U FUCKING SAID THIS WOULD WORK”
- “wHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO IT USUALLY WORKS IM SORRY”

BTS Reaction To Finding Out You Are Pregnant

Jin: 

Jin met you at a very young age and have been together for a very long time.  You both decided that you guys weren’t get any younger an should start trying to grow your family.  Well about a month after that decision you missed your period.  You took pregnancy test and found out you were pregnant.  You were beyond excited to tell Jin. 

“Hey Jin who do you think should be his/her godfather,”

“Jagi what are you tal- OMG ARE YOU PREGNANT? PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE PREGNANT!” Jin was very ready to be a father.

Originally posted by jhopefluxo

(I could not find a gif that fit but this one was beautiful so I don't feel that bad)

Namjoon: 

The thought of having kids never crossed your mind. To you guys sex was just sex. So the day you found out you were pregnant you were shocked. As soon as you found out you went straight to Namjoon.

 "Joonie I’m pregnant. What are we gonna do?“

 "We are gonna be the best parents ever obviously. (Y/n) this isn’t exactly how we planned this but I always planned on having kids with you. So why not now? I love you so much.“ 

Originally posted by choke-me-namjoon

Suga: 

Suga was so focused on his career at the moment that he didn’t want kids just yet.  He knew you were the one it just was not the right time. When you found out you were pregnant you were scared to tell Yoongi because he thought he would be mad. You didn’t want to hinder him from achieving his dream so you decided to do the “only thing” and leave him.

 “Yoongi I’m just gonna say it, im pregnant. I know we weren’t thinking of having kids any time soon and I love you so much and I don’t wanna see your career in danger so I will take the baby and raise it on my own.”

 “(Y/n) no that is the last thing I would possible want. Ya you are right we weren’t thinking of having a kid anytime soon but plans change. And I don’t care if this hurts my career you and our child,” he says while placing his hand lightly on your stomach, “are the two biggest priorities in my life. I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

  Jhope: 

  Jhope wanted kids not be you did not. You were also a dancer in the highest point of your career and a child would mean having to take a break for awhile. Jhope understood that and did not force the topic on you. You promised him kids in the very near future but not right now. You have been practicing for a big concert for the last couple months and the tour was about to start. A week before the first show you got the new costumes to try on. Jhope was excited to see you in them and waited or you on the couch to come out. In the bedroom you had trouble zipping the pants and the shirt was tighter than it should be. You come out of the room in tears telling jhope that there is no weigh you put on the much weight. You started a new diet to stay in shape for the tour and practices do much that there was no logical way. Then you had a thought. You could be pregnant. A day later in the doctors office you got your answer. You were pregnant. You were so shocked. You couldn’t believe that you were gonna miss the tour that you practiced so much for. You body was stiff. Jhope helped you from the chair and you began to walk back to the car. On the walk there he pulled you close and whispered, “(Y/n) I know you didn’t want kids just yet but we have one. We are gonna be great at this. I’m gonna be with you through everything. (Y/n) I’m gonna be around so much you are gonna be sick of it. I love you so much and our future child.” 

Originally posted by nnochu


Jimin:

You and Jimin were in love and everyone could see it.  Would you guys be engaged soon? Yes. Were you guys gonna have kids soon? NO.  You just starting a job and career for yourself did not want to rush things.  Jimin was in one of the peals of his career  and found it hard sometimes to make time for you, let alone a id.  Kids were something you both wanted but not now.

You woke up one morning and immediately ran to the toilet to throw up. After cleaning up you quickly rush to the store to pick up a pregnancy test. You fly back into your apartment and rush the sat jimin who was sleeping on the couch and soak the door to the bathroom. A couple minutes later you are sitting in the bathroom floor crying. Your pregnant. How were you gonna tell Jimin? Jimin woke up from his nap and started looking for you. He saw you were in the bathroom and knocked. When you didn’t answer he poked his head in and saw you one the floor. “Jagi what wrong? Please tell me what’s going on.” You just continue to look at the ground so he starts to look around to try to find what caused this. He spots the positive pregnancy test on the counter and he so shocked. He quickly composes himself and hugs you tighter. “(Y/n) my princess please don’t cry. This is great news. Why would I ever be upset about this? We are gonna be the best parents. Now let’s get you up and we can cuddle.“  

Originally posted by jiyoongis


 Taehyung:  

  You and Tae wanted kids Now.  Even though your families, hyungs, and his managers were saying you were both to young you guys did not listen. You found out the day after Tae left for a 3 month tour that you were pregnant. You decided to wait and surprise him with your growing bump when he got home. Three months later Tae comes walking into your apartment to get the best surprise of his life. "Tae you’re home!” You yell as you waddle up to your boyfriend He looks at you shocked and begins to tear up. He kneels down and puts both hands on your stomach. “I’m so happy to see the both of you.” As he places gentle kiss on your tummy then your lips. 

Originally posted by exoticmaknae

(ignore Suga)

Jungkook :

 

Baby Jungkook have his own baby? HAHAHA no.  As a matter of fact you both were not ready to raise a kid.  You have not been feeling right the last couple of weeks so you decided to take a pregnancy test.  You had no doubt in your mind that it would come back negative.  While waiting for the results, Jungkook arrived back home.

“Hey Kooks Im in the bathroom you can come in.  I haven’t been feeling well so im taking a pregnancy test just to be sure.”

while walking into the room, “Ok babe that’s fine.  We should probably go to the doctor tomorrow.  You have been feeling pretty bad for awhile.”  He begins to check his hair in the mirror and he glances down at the test to find a plus sign on it.  “UM Babe what does a plus sign mean?’

You run to go check it, “Omg I’m pregnant.”

It would take a coupe hours in all honesty to have Jungkook process that he was going to be a father.  Once he calmed down he would come into bed and cuddle whispering in to your ear reassurance that you both would be amazing parents.

Originally posted by nnochu

(His reaction as soon as he finds out)

Originally posted by bangtan

(His reaction after he has calm downed)

BTS Reacting To You Being A Newly Debuted Idol And Having A Crush On You~

~Long title lol~

Originally posted by bangtaninspired

Seokjin - He would be real shy about it. When you were doing shows and he happened to be around he would subtly smile in your direction or wave at you. He wouldn’t be really obvious. But since he’s a huge dork he would make some weird joke when he felt comfortable enough around you. When you smiled and laughed at his stupid pun he would be so happy. 

Originally posted by sugaglos

Yoongi - He is awkward times ten when it comes to having a crush. He wouldn’t know where to begin. He is kind of rough around the edges when he isn’t around his brothers. So it would sort of go like. “Hi, I’m Yoongi… Nice to uhm… meet you.” He would then nod and walk away cursing himself for being so weird. But in reality you wouldn’t even be able to tell he was awkward. He has that air about him. You would just smile and internally fangirl. So when he turned around and smile before clearing his throat and pretending none of it actually happened. *He would think about it for days to come until he saw you again.*

Originally posted by lookwhaticreated

Hoseok - He wouldn’t change much honestly. He would still be that huge ray of absolute sunshine he actually is. Only this time he would introduce himself and start a conversation. Saying how he liked your groups choreography and your debut single was really good. He would leave with butterflies and make sure that the next time he saw you he would learn more about you. 

Originally posted by rapfluff

Namjoon - *My sweet precious bean i love you<3* Let’s all say this together SHY SHY SHY. He is so freaking shy he would just blush instantly. “Hi, I’m Rap Monster. Actually my name is Namjoon. It’s nice to meet you, y/n…” He would then curse himself for seeming so awkward when you just met, but you were already so undeniably smitten it was bad. You thought he was the cutest. *cause he is omg look at that face*

Originally posted by frittatansonyeondan

Jimin - I feel like out of all of the members he would be the least nervous. Still a littl nervous but our little Chimmie has some kind of way about him that gives off this sexy vibe. He would walk up to you with this little smirk and say “I really liked your performance. Maybe we could practice together sometime?” He would instantly cringe at himself internally but would gain back all confidence when he saw your cheeks flush red and you nodding at the idea. 

Originally posted by helendrv

Taehyung - C U T E. T I M E S. T E N. He would just be the cutest thing. He would say such nice things and to keep your attention focused on him. He would just keep the conversation going. He’s so talkative because he likes you so much and the sound of your voice just makes him happy. 

Originally posted by buy-me-jams

Jung(shook)kook - This boy would not be able to speak to you. You guys know how he literally swerves when he sees a girl. It would be worse for him since he actually likes you. If there was ever a moment when you guys were alone, maybe then he would calm down a little and actually be able to say “Hey… I uhm… I think you’re really cool, and would you maybe want to hang out sometime?” But other than that this boy would be shook for days. 

A/N: Aish thinking about these boys literally makes my day. So doesn’t all the love from you guys. I love you all. Xxoo <3<3<3<3

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Just saw King Arthur and the theater was practically EMPTY???!!? Wtf!??!!?!!! This movie was so good you guys, and it’s being torn apart by critics because the lore doesn’t 100% match? *screams frustrations into void* Guy Ritchie took a legend that has been told over and over again for what feels like forever (and let’s be real, it’s been retold so much cause it’s a damn good legend) and put his own unique twist on it.

Personally, I was not going into this movie expecting a word for word reenactment of Thomas Malory’s Le Morte D’Arthur or even T.H. White’s The Once and Future King. The trailer made it very clear that KA: LotS was going to have a different take on the story. And it was gooooood. Omg! This film was like if Lord of the Rings met Kingsman.

Here are some of my favorite things about King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.
——–
• The war elephants were just as fantastic and terrifying as I wanted them to be and more!

• The AWE-INDUCING AF Lady of the Lake *heart-eyes*

• The absolutely mesmerizing Sirens (like holy fuck I couldn’t look away they were SO COOL)

• The BAD-ASS Boss-Lady Mage like HEEEELLLL YAAASSS

• Arthur growing up protecting/respecting women, not because he feels he’s a ~strong man~ who saves ~weak damsels~ and expects a reward for his actions but because he is genuinely sickened by men who disrespect women. Because he was raised by women and *gasp* sees them as *GASP!* people?? Revolutionary.

• NO. ROMANCE. I’M CRYING, TWO MOVIES IN A ROW WITH NO ROMANCE CAN I GET AN AMEN

• How the sword got stuck in the stone!!!! So cool, what a concept, I love it!

• The ANIMALS and the Mage working with nature and all the imagery and the SNAKES!!!

• I legit cried when the Round Table was revealed like holy shit yeessssss.

• Excalibur is a literal powerhouse and we finally get see what it can do!

• The acting was top notch! (Jude Law gave me chills as King Vortigern)

• The soundtrack fed my SOUL hell yes!!!! So good.

• The fight choreography, with an *appropriate* use of slow-mo, gave me life!

• The story telling!!! Like, yes Guy Ritchie’s way of telling the story of King Arthur is amazing but I’m talking about the particular way the *characters* told stories *in the movie* like w.h.o.a. So awesome!!

• The cinematography! I couldn’t go two seconds without coming across a shot that I NEED as my TV and Computer background.

• The special effects. Have I talked about the animals and the MAGE AND THE LADY OF THE LAKE AND THE SIRENS AND EXCALIBUR AND THE COLORS AAAAHHHHHHHH

• The story line. Honestly, screw the critics for giving this film a bad review just because it didn’t stick the legend. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO! They took the Legend of King Arthur and built off it to tell their own story and it was sooo gooodd!!

• The camera work!!! Omg the camera work!!! Hot damn.

————-
I will say that I was disappointed in how the film fell into the trope of hurting and killing women as a means to motivate the male lead. That wasn’t cool. It has literally everything else going for it, but they tripped up here. This motivation device is used too often in all forms of media, and honestly I’m sick of it.

But! That was the only flaw I could find after one viewing, and the rest of the movie was phenomenal.
—-
9.5/10
Please go see this movie!

Okay real quick! There’s something else about this movie that I LOVED SO MUCH but I’m not sure if it is considered a spoiler. It’s a bit more specific than the bullet points so to be safe, I’ve put it under the cut here. 

Keep reading

3 Years (John x Reader)

Word Count: 3,977

Warnings: Swears, Alcohol, Smut (It’s hella fluffy smut)

Authors Note: So we hit 800? I’m dying I love you guys so much I don’t deserve any of you. Anyways, I wanted to celebrate this milestone with some smut yeah? lol. Get ready, it’s so sweet you could get a cavity. Big thanks to @adolescenthowell for dealing with my smut writing process shit. Go follow her! I LIVE TO HEAR FEEDBACK FROM YOU GUYS AND I LOVE TO JUST HEAR FROM YOU IN GENERAL. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Requests:  Reader x Laurens where they go out with the squad and reader looks really hot and Laurens whose like in love with reader can’t control himself and maybe leads to smut if you’re ok with that

John Laurens + reader teasing him while they’re at a bar?

Masterlist

Friday night meant going out with your friends for drinks, especially after you had met Alexander. You and Alex had met in college and after that you two hit it off instantly, doing everything together. You would be lying if you said you two hadn’t hooked up once or twice but you both mutually agreed that you two were better off as friends, you even helped snag Eliza for him. Being friends with Alex meant being friends with his friends, and thankfully they all liked you. All but one. John Laurens. For some reason, you two had created a friendship of your own filled with nothing but dry, sarcastic humor that nobody seemed to understand. You greeted him with insults and he would happily take them and throw one back at you.

You stepped into the taxi and gave the driver the name of the bar as you smoothed out your barely there dress. The forest green silky fabric felt like air to your skin, and you had to make sure you had actually worn clothes out. If the short length wasn’t enough, the dress also was backless as the fabric in the back started below your ribcage. You didn’t know why you had chosen to wear that dress. On Friday nights you had usually opted for a pair of jeans and a nice top but today you felt like dressing up a bit more, and you were definitely feeling yourself. The taxi came to a screeching halt in front of the bar, and you thanked the driver as you handed him a ten dollar bill. You swung your legs out of the cab and gracefully stood up as the New York City breeze hit your body. You smoothed out your hair before walking into the bar.

Keep reading

“I’ve had better.”
“Yeah? Well, I haven’t.”

Do you ever get emotional about that interaction? Cause I do.

I mean, it’s so absolutely true though, isn’t it? Robert has literally never had better. He has never been so completely loved and accepted before.

He can be himself with Aaron. Mistakes, messes, bad habits and all. And all Aaron does is just love him. He has loved Robert through every good and bad thing that’s happened.

I mean, how great must that feel? To have the someone like Aaron, someone who has stuck around through some truly awful shit when in the past, he ran, he was abandoned, or banished.

He has never connected with someone like this before, both physically and emotionally. Aaron is his best friend as well as his husband.

Robert has never had better, and he knows he never will, and he can’t stand to lose that. He can’t lose someone as special as Aaron, and he can’t lose something as special as what they have. No wonder he is panicking so hard.

Aaron is it. Everything.

Nightmare [Rick Grimes x Reader]

Ok so i thought of a really detailed smut request lol. Rick finds the reader (young girl like 20) and brings her back to alexandria and shes very scared and standoffish so rick lets her stay at his house. At night she has a bad dream and crawls into bed with rick in just her tshirt and panties and tells him she had a bad dream. He feels guilty and says they shouldnt be in bed together but she seduces him and touches him and he finally gives in. Im like beyond excited ab this lol. Pls and thk u!

I could not WAIT to write this one, OMG. Hope you like it anon! 💝

Warnings: SMUT, Swearing, unprotected sex, dirty talk, seduction, oral sex (female receiving)

Words: 3,023

A/N: Enjoy some grade A Rick Grimes filth. I feel like I should dunk myself in some holy water after writing this. 

Keep reading