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WARNING: Long Post. I apologise, those words are written from the deapths of my heart.

I wanted to mark this day. 14th of May.
This day had, basically, changed me.
Just a year ago, I was a whole different person.
Just a year ago, I was stuck - musically, emotionally, I just didn’t know what to do with myself.
I handled things completely differently.
I coped less - I ran away more.
I haven’t been sitting and working until it physically hurt - I gave up and stayed with bitter frustration burning within me.
Just a year ago, I was in a distance of a single spit from quitting music, from putting down my bass and signing forms to leave the class at school.
I felt so low. Nothing was right.
And on May 14th, in a single snap, in that flashing shine - it has all changed.

So, if you’ve made it this far on my ramble without getting too bored, you probably ask yourself - what happened on that day?

It was just another day; I sat in front of my laptop, feeling bored and empty as usual. Searching some music on my phone, I believe it was, led me to come across this band. On E’.
Had some of their music on my phone already, but I’ve been listening to other things back then; some playlist of random songs I just didn’t bother to switch.
So I started playing these songs, and in the meantime googled “Emerson Lake and Palmer”.

Hey, don’t get me wrong; I had a background. I’ve been admiring Pink Floyd almost fanatically since 9th grade; something like two and a half years. Getting into Pink Floyd, I’ve read a lot about Prog - I knew Genesis, I knew Yes, I knew King Crimson (who didn’t, actually?), I knew Emerson Lake and Palmer. I knew who they were, I just didn’t dig in deep enough into their works.
I knew King Crimson; my friend introduced me to them and I was ADDICTED to In the Court of the Crimson King - I was so stunned by the whole album, by Greg Lake’s voice and his insane bass playing - for me it was a top. I was like, fuck, this is how I want to play.
I didn’t know Atomic Rooster, but I knew ‘Fire’ by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown. I knew Ozzy Osbourne’s cover. In fact, I realised it was originally Arthur Brown’s when I started watching the doco ‘Birth of a Band’, I heard it there for the first time and was like “OMG?@?!?! IS THIS FIRE?!?!?@#^^#@&”. Yeah, a big shock.
The Nice I knew only theoretically - I’ve read about them, I knew they worked for themselves and also with P. P. Arnold.

I don’t rmemeber it all to details, but I remember at first being confused by their names; they weren’t so familiar to me, as Roger or David, or… Mike, for example. I don’t know. I remembered thinking, “shit, it’ll take me years to remember those names”. {Psst; It didn’t.}
I’ve read about them, started listening to more than just ‘Jerusalem’ or ‘From the Beginning’. I started digging in more and more - another song, another album - “omg, another pic!!! aaa!!!!” and about my love for Greg Lake,,, I won’t even open it up here. It will take for you miles of scrolling to read about it, I’ll try to save your time.
I don’t know if any of you are familiar with this, but I’ll try a bit to explain what happened on that day, that was so significant for me.
When I was looking at pictures of them - recognising some from my 9th grade research - I just felt… Some kind of… heat? Warmth? some kind of a positive feeling. I knew I have found SOMETHING. Something unique. Something that isn’t just listening to a new band, but that it will lead me to something different. A powerful sense in the stomach? Some kind of… I don’t know exactly how to explain. Like you just KNOW it’s going to be so significant.
You know you fell for them.
I knew that I just fell for them.

I don’t know why I turned a fan only so shortly ago. I mean, I knew them. I knew them 2 years preior. What was different between 9th and 11th grade?
Maybe back then, it wasn’t the right momemt. Maybe I was less open-minded; maybe I’d try to listen to them more back then and wouldn’t like it. Maybe I would have gotten a bad impression, and would never listen to them again. I believe that they came just at the right moment for me.

So, yeah, rediscovering Emerson Lake and Palmer has been a turning point for me. It changed my perspective on many things.
True, I’m not perfect, it hasn’t cured my fucked up traits and defects, but being honest, ELP in a way saved me from a deteriorating pattern of self destruction and abandonment of all hope. They gave me something to strive for. They motivated me to start playing the keyboards I bought 3 years ago and barely touched. Listening to them pushed me to improve myself as a bassist, to set myself higher targets and standarts (Unfortunately as a perfectionist it’s sometimes very painful, but I can say the result was good) - But still, I can see a huge change in my playing, in my confident and in my sound.  
 I have gotten over one of the biggest fears I had - it was literally causing me panic attacks - to sing in front of other people. I actually do it now. Not 100% confidently, but think how big is the different - I’d start shaking and crying and just nvjfrnghfijfid all around, and just a month ago I stood onstage with my bass, singing fucking Lucky Man. I still cannot believe it. All of it would never happened without ELP. 
I will not regret a single thing I did related to them.
I’m not perfect, but thanks to tham - I will strive for better. For the best I can.

Must add, as I’ve forgotten to mark it - Emerson Lake and Palmer had taught me to listen to classical music and to acutally love it. I have improved my grade in Music History class at school from a poor 60 to a fucking 90, just because I actually connected the music to this band I love so much. Even my flute player friend, who is a classical nerd, is impressed by my knowledge in classical music now. It’s fucking terrific. I love classical music so much - just a year ago I got fucking bored of it. And today I have a 14 HOURS LONG PLAYLIST ON MY PHONE. (Same length as the ELP playlist tbh) +shitloads on my laptop

Because of ELP I returned to Tumblr - I discovered here amazing people. I’m so happy to have all of you - it isn’t obvious; it’s so important for me to have a place in which I can share my love for this amazing group. I wanted also to thank you all - you are amazing and so supportive, I love you all so much and I am grateful to have each and every one of you
It’s true that now for me things aren’t the easiest, but it’s okay. It’s okay because there is something to work for. There is still hope.

This is my message to you all - even if things seem icky and useless, if everything is a long loathing drag, if you feel like there’s nothing to do anymore - it’s not true. There’s always something better for you, and it waits for the right moment to be found.



Rating: Teen

Pairing: Harry/Louis

Word count: 5k


“Oh look at the time,” Louis says quickly, turning on his heel and rushing to the greenhouse door. He twists the handle and tugs on it a few times, yanking progressively harder. “Oi, Harry, if you’re the president, then you’re in charge of this shack, right? So why won’t the fucking door open?”

Harry carefully steps over the mess on the ground and heads to the door, giving the handle a twist and pulling as hard as he can. It’s a futile attempt because the door doesn’t budge, not that Harry thought it would. There’s no way Louis would have known to be careful with the door, and with the wind howling outside right now, shutting it gently would be near-impossible.

“It’s shut,” Harry says, giving it a final, firm yank. The door doesn’t move an inch.

Or, Harry and Louis are locked in a greenhouse.

written for the @hlspringexchange2016 // ao3 collection

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