#165: all he wants..
Mark: ..is to tell you how he feels. He wanted to tell you that he missed you even when you were there, that just the sight of you made his heart feel like it was going break out of his chest, that he wasn’t himself lately because he belonged to you, and only you… But his tongue trips over his words, and he stutters and somehow all he can manage out is a quiet, “I love you,” which he hopes is enough and encompassed all that he meant, in just three words.
Jr: ..is to yell at you. He was so mad at you. He was always mad at you, though, — for something — so today was no different. (It was over something stupid.) But no matter how mad he was, he couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice at you, someone he loved more than anyone, someone he didn’t want to loose.. There had been too many fights recently, you both knew it, and he wasn’t about to loose someone important (you) over something unimportant. So he doesn’t yell.
JB: ..is to hug you. That’s what felt right to him: his arms around you tightly, so that he knew where you were and that he knew you were safe. Maybe that’s why he always wanted to have you close to him. But it was something else, too. There was something about just being around you.. You made him better. And maybe, he thought, maybe if you were even closer to him that all the greatest parts of you would rub off on him, and he might be as great as you were. (He also thought you were pretty cute).
Jackson: ..is to kiss you. On the cheek, on the forehead, on the lips.. anywhere, so as long as his lips were on you somewhere. And this was just all the time — he couldn’t help himself. The kind of smile you’d smile, the laugh you’d laugh, the way your lips curved when you said his name — everything that you did, everything that you said, that all made him want to kiss you, to thank you for being there, for just being you. (And sometimes he’d have to kiss you mid sentence because he just couldn’t help himself.)
BamBam: ..is to see you again. He’s not his usual self on the phone tonight: he’s little more tired and a little more sad.. all because he missed you. He missed seeing you laugh at his jokes and he missed seeing your smile and he missed seeing the way you would light up when you saw him (and he missed feeling that way when he saw you, too). Just hearing you wasn’t enough for him tonight, but tonight, it’d have to do because it would be a little longer until he got to see you next. (But it’d be worth it.)
Youngjae: ..is to move the hair out of your face. Your head hangs low, hair shielding the tears streaming down your cheeks as you take another deep breath. He takes a deep breath himself, and then reaches over. He wasn’t as awkward anymore when he saw you cry, now all he wanted to do was make you feel better. So he moves the hair out of your face, and then he wipes some tears, away too, and smiles at you as you look up. His smile told you he was here, and that he wasn’t leaving, either.
Yugyeom: ..is to laugh at you. He knew you were mad, he knew it. You were going on and on, almost yelling as you paced back and forth, but he wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh because he didn’t think seeing you this mad could make him love you more, but somehow, it did. He holds in his laugh — how ridiculous was this? Sometimes a person’s angry side was their ugliest, but for you, that wasn’t the case. Seeing you angry made you real, made you human.. and laughing made him human, too.