I officially entered the bowl 8 months ago and within a month met an amazing guy on tinder (sn: ive used tinder since day one)! He’s a lawyer in his early 60s, very handsome, smells great, dresses impeccable, treated me better than any other guy I’ve ever been with to this day and most of all we were friends too. He was a white man who dated young thin attractive black women since his divorce. Listen ya’ll, this man took one look at me and asked if I was a “K” 😂😂😂😂. That’s how I knew he wasn’t lying about dating black women. He definitely had a type 💀.
Now he was never my SD per se as I never received an allowance and he never knew I was a SB. However, he would send me money if I expressed a need or distress, for nails or if I wanted to buy something (which I never fully took advantage of because again I was still a “newborn” in terms of sugaring. In other words, I was scared to open my damn mouth! I had not cause I asked not!) We dated like bf/gf only going to ATLs most exclusive 4.5/5 star resturants and frequenting the 4 Seasons, The W or Ritz whenever he was in town.
This man held open doors, took coats, pulled out chairs, handled valet, checked in before every date being sure that he sent me the correct address, made sure I was completely satisfied in every way even if that meant he had to talk to the chef himself (he’s done it before). He left NOTHING to interpretation. Anything a gentleman should do, he did. He was a wealthy white man and he used his privilege with authority yet humbly to make me happy. Best part yet? He never, ever invited me to his hotel room, kissed me or touched me at ALL! So much respect!
Well after a dating for a bit, he let’s me know that if I’ll have him, he’ll pay off my debt and put me in his will along with his two children (one is my EXACT age 😶). I could expect a very nice ring. He wasn’t proposing right then, but he wanted to be sure that I knew that he wanted this to go somewhere as “hes old and doesn’t have many good years left on earth” (his words). He said he didn’t want to waste time and that if I couldn’t be sure that I wanted to be married within a yr that he’d have to move on because he didn’t have as much time as I did. The thought of being married so young scared me but this is what we as SBs want right? And here it was at my feet only months after being in the bowl. I wanted him. I wanted this life for LIFE! Everything just lined up…almost.
We still hadn’t been sexual let alone kissed. That night we had the talk, I made a move. I was gonna see where things could go with us. I invited myself to his room. I kissed him, which wasn’t all that great, but whatever I wanted that will. He was grinding on me making old man sounds like he was about buss in his pants. I ignore it cause I’m trying to get a BMW convertible for Xmas. He sticks his tongue in my ear and literally, I fucking kid you not, starts making a noise that sounds like “sha la-la-la sha la sha la sha la-la-la”. Then……he grabs my face and proceeds to lick my makeup off my face with long strokes of his tongue and it feels like a cats tongue and for some reason, THAT breaks me and I realize I can’t do it lol. I just cannot. One of my eyebrows is halfway gone and my contour is erased. I can feel the spit drying on my skin. I start to rationalize things different.
Like this man just might fuck around and live for another 25 yrs. Can I deal with this for 25 yrs? I can’t have a sad pussy for 25 yrs. Can’t have an affair, that’ll cancel out the will. This is why I drink on dates! To take off the edge so stuff like this won’t bother me. I try to show him how I like to be kissed….he shhhh’s me and proceeds to suck my neck like a leech. I can’t. And I never do again. Now that I’m a bit more experienced and I’ve seen more shit, I’m thinking about calling him up 🤔🤔🤔. It would be hella nice to get out bowl.