omfg thunder!

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8th attempt in 5 days of posting Joshaya Wedding hc? which multiple people asked for so p l e a s e God work

  • Josh proposes on Christmas Eve when Maya’s 22 and he’s 25 (almost 23/26 tho because Winter birthdays.)
  • Right off the bat Riley and Farkle declare that they’ll “handle” everything and Maya doesn’t want to let them because she knows weddings are expensive but they’re combined puppy eyes and intense love for her is hard to fight
  • Katy’s an emotional wreck the entire damn engagement every time Maya walks into a room she bursts into tears
  • Maya wakes on Christmas day only a few hours after getting engaged and Riley, Morgan and Amy are already putting together wedding planner binders and shit she’s so lost
  • Everyone just keeps going on and on and on about how they want to give Maya a dream wedding
  • But Maya just like…doesn’t have one. She never really put much thought into it and now she’s drowning in wedding details and she’s so confused and indecisive about everything
  • Changes location like 9 times
  • Color scheme? Over 40 times because she keeps remembering really specific Art Student Colors she likes
  • Barely has a date set, just a vague mention of “Middle of the summer, but like not too hot, you know?”
  • Freaks out when she suddenly learns just how many different flowers actually exist
  • Joshua is barely any help at all because they’ll ask him for input and he’s like “Just tell me what color tie to wear I just want Maya to have her dream wedding”
  • So she’s a big ball of stress and feeling like all the wedding themed romcoms have lied to her
  • Like she felt the love and excitement when she got engaged but all the stress of trying to plan this thing is wearing her out
  • Riley and Farkle are extremely exasperated by her changing everything because like, they’re loosing money on cancelled down payments, but they aren’t going to actually complain with anything more then fond eye rolls
  • Maya gets completely overwhelmed when she finally goes dress shopping though
  • Katy and Shawn are there because they’re buying the dress. Also there is Riley (duh), Topanga, Morgan, Amy, Farkle (who spends the whole time making jokes about them getting married in 8th grade), Ava, and Cory comes to make fun of Shawn when he cries (and then starts crying himself)
  • So she tries on like a million dresses and looks amazing in all of them but nothing feels, like, right, and when she sees the prices she realizes she’s severely underestimated how expensive weddings can be
  • So now she’s even more stressed and freaking out
  • By now it’s like April and her and Josh are crashing at his parent’s house for a few days because he’s got a gig nearby
  • And she decides to have a ~serious~ conversation with him about whether or not they should actually get married because she doesn’t think she should if she feels like this
  • And Josh is upset but 100% ready to call it off if she wants too
  • But the thought of calling it off makes her even more upset so now she’s all worked up and he’s trying to calm her down
  • So they talk it out and come to the conclusion she’s probably feeling like this because she thinks she has to for the others??? And he’s like babe that’s not how it works close your eyes and think really hard about what you wanna do
  • And she does and after a moment she’s like “It sounds stupid, but I kinda really just wanna grab a state official and elope in a park today or something.”
  • And Josh just grins at her and is like “I’ll make some calls” and she’s like WAIT WHAT because she wasn’t expecting this but he’s dead serious
  • So now part of her is freaking out because holy shit she’s getting married today she’s so unprepared but the other part is about to burst with joy and excitement because holy shit she’s getting married today
  • So she calls the gang that’s still in New York and they all start freaking out and throwing shit they think might help into bags and rushing to get to Philly
  • They liberate Minkus’s Private Jet and Riley screams the entire flight
  • Meanwhile Josh and his high school friends/band mates are on a mission omfg they were only able to obtain a marriage license on such short notice with a lot of bribery and blackmailing
  • They can’t get a state official though so they’re freaking out until they remember one night Josh’s best friend Andrew got drunk and filled out the online thing to become an Ordained Minister in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster which is 100% LEGAL and they call Maya to ask if she’s okay with that and she almost busts a lung laughing so yeah we’re rolling with this
  • Amy is frantically trying to bake a wedding cake and curl her hair at the same time omfg she is not for this plan but by now she’s realized she can’t stop her children when they’re in love and determined
  • Feeny offered to get some flowers for the bride, discovered to his horror that the flower shop was closed, and heroically decided to sacrifice some of his prized roses for the greater good. Maya was extremely touched.
  • By now the New York gang has landed and Riley shoves Maya into a bedroom and dumps out a bag filled with shit load of white dresses and starts shoving Maya into them
  • Maya’s trying to figure out why Riley has so many and she’s like “Some are mine some are yours some are my mom’s some are Katy’s and one I may have stolen from a Rite Aid on the way to the Airport”
  • Funnily enough, the stolen Rite Aid one is the one Maya ends up adoring.
  • It’s just a simple white sundress with vague flowers embroidered on it, it was probably meant to be a bathing suit cover up, her best friend literally stole it from a drug store. But it made Maya tear up and feel more wedding ready than any of the gowns ever did.
  • So now Riley’s attacking her face with makeup while Katy and Topanga are doing her hair and they’re all crying
  • Downstairs Cory’s trying to help Amy with the cake, Alan’s trying to map out the perfect spot for this wedding to happen, Feeny and Layla are making bouquets.
  • Shawn, Morgan, Lucas, Zay and 5 year old Penny Minkus are driving around trying to find cheap wedding rings fast
  • They eventually have to give up on actual jewelry stores and end up getting pearl rings from JC Penny’s for like 30 bucks each
  • Auggie and Ava are googling like hell trying to find a restaurant that will take a wedding reception reservation on such short notice
  • They manage to find a nice Italian place that’s having a slow day and is willing to rent them a small room
  • Farkle is passing out various articles of clothing like vests and bowties so everyone looks ever so slightly more formal
  • Josh and Maya are quickly writing vows on their phones
  • Andrew’s trying to figure out how to officiate a wedding and googling Pastafarian wedding traditions. He’s writing a lot a pasta jokes and he’s just gonna hope for the best
  • Everyone else is just running around trying to find something to do to help
  • About 3 hours after this all started, pretty much everyone is ready to go but the Ring Squad isn’t back yet
  • They finally get there and everything is fine…except Lucas Friar has a baby deer cradled in his arms
  • So everyone’s like “w h a t  t h e  f u c k” and Shawn’s like “We saw it on the side of the road with it’s dead mother and this guy jumped out of a moving car to get to it” and Amy’s trying to convince Lucas to leave it outside and he’s like “SALLY NEEDS MY WARMTH I AM HER MOTHER NOW” so everyone gives up on this situation
  • Shawn decides they should take some photos before the ceremony and they’re all just posing on the Matthew’s couch and the staircase but it’s the most hilarious and great wedding photoshoot ever omg
  • Maya, perfect makeup and curled hair pulled in a loose ponytail, stolen sundress, Feeny’s prized roses, red converse matching the shade of her lipstick, looking like a goddess on Earth
  • Josh had managed to get his hair under some form of control, light green dress shirt, black tie, vest, jeans
  • Everyone else in various forms of formal and casual
  • Andrew’s got a metal colander on his head because that’s in Pastafarian tradition apparently
  • Lucas is cuddling a baby deer in all of them
  • Everyone is striking ridiculous poses and Shawn has some trouble working the timer for full group shots, but everyone looks happy and Maya and Josh look so in love you’ll wanna puke
  • So now everyone’s cramming into cars and racing to Penny Pack Park
  • Everyone’s on the edge of their seats in excitement and they’re all laughing and singing wedding themed songs
  • ‘Sally’ starts eating part of Riley’s dress
  • But then when they’re halfway there
  • It starts POURING
  • Torrential downpour, man
  • Omfg so everyone’s calling each other in the different cars trying to figure out if they should call it off but Maya and Josh are like “WE’VE COME TOO FAR NOW WE’RE DOING THIS O N W A R D S”
  • So they race through the rain to Penny Pack omfg the thunder and lightning is so bad everyone’s drenched the second they get out of the cars
  • Lucas’s deer starts screaming in terror from the storm
  • Omfg so they have to run to find this “perfect” location Alan picked out and it’s literally just a normal place but who care
  • Andrew jumps to what he deems should be the ‘front’ and he’s borderline about to have a panic attack because the colander on his head is metal and there’s a lot of lightning for him to worry about and “Josh if I live you SO owe me for this”
  • Penny tries her hardest to throw flower petals for Maya to walk on but the rain and the wind is too strong
  • Everyone’s slipping in the mud and cracking up
  • They’re trying to do this even quicker than originally planned because everyone’s soaked to the bone and no one wants hypothermia
  • Instead of walking to a romantic wedding march, Katy escorts Maya down their makeshift path to the sound of thunder, laughter, and a screaming baby deer
  • Maya gets up to Josh and make a quip about how it’s a good thing they already took pictures, and he responds with something super cheesy like “I still know I’ll never forget how beautiful you look right now” or something, and her makeup was already running like hell from the rain but he swears she started crying then
  • So since Andrew is the officiant Josh has Cory standing in as Best Man with Auggie and another band member as groomsmen
  • And Maya’s got Riley as Maid of Honor and Farkle as “My Best Person” and Ava up there because she needed another bridesmaid it’s all so cute
  • Andrew’s rushing things but his pasta jokes still hit the mark ever if the Older Crowd have no idea what he’s talking about
  • They have to scream their vows over the thunder but they were sweet and funny and everyone’s getting emotional
  • Cory dropped the rings in the mud so that was a small crisis but they found them don’t worry
  • I now pronounce you husband and wife!!!
  • Shawn captured the coolest picture EVER of their wedding kiss omfg he’s just starting to pick her up to spin her and a bolt of lighting is striking perfectly in the background it looks awesome
  • Okay so the second the break apart everyone’s cheering and there’s a bit of air like “now what” but before they can even move
  • The baby deer starts screaming even louder right
  • And now like…other grown deer are coming out of the forest because they heard it
  • And there’s a pause, a clap of thunder, then the adult deer start screaming and everyone just bolts it out of there omfg
  • THE DEER ARE CHASING THEM TO THE CAR AND LUCAS REFUSES TO DROP THE BABY BECAUSE ‘SALLY NEEDS ME’
  • They all dive into the cars and start hightailing it out of there and the deer literally chase them half way into the city before the traffic scares them off
  • Everyone’s laughing and wheezing and sneezing and Maya’s on Josh’s lap giggling herself to death while his just quietly singing the song he wrote about her in her ear
  • They get to the restaurant and spend the rest of the night eating pasta and dancing and singing and just having a great time
  • When they try to head back to Amy and Alan’s place, however, Riley and Farkle are shoving suitcases at them telling them to go to the airport because the Minkus Private Jet is waiting to take them to Disney World because Stuart managed to book them a reservation while all this was going on
  • So now they’re in this hotel that’s way to pricy for them and unpacking and Josh jokingly asks her if she had her dream wedding
  • And she thinks about how she totally feels like she’s dreaming because she can’t believe any of this actually happened, and how she just had the craziest wedding ever to the boy she’s had feelings for all her life, and you know what? She did have her dream wedding
  • J o s h a y a