okay but i want a fic where the enterprise is like on the outskirts of federation space and they pick up survivors of a half-wrecked cardassian freighter and one of the refugees is sybok who totally knew the attack was coming and low key orchestrated it but thats another story because when he gets beamed aboard he and spock have a reunion and it’s very logical and all but kirk is like holy shit spock you have a brother??? why did i not know?? and spock is like you never asked and sybok takes one look at the two of them interacting and realizes how bad his baby brother has it for his captain and says wow spock way to introduce me to your t’hy’la and spock BUGS OUT and gets all flustered and kirk has never seen him act like that before and is like wait what does that mean and spock won’t tell him and practically runs away and sybok is too busy laughing and getting debriefed, and then for the rest of the mission spock won’t look at kirk and he starts to wonder what that word actually means so he keeps trying to work it out of sybok or uhura but they won’t tell him and spock avoids him like the plague, and kirk starts to get dejected because maybe he’s done something wrong, somehow offended spock or something, and sybok realizes that the human is stupid in love too, and bribes scotty to lock them in the turbolift or a supply closet or something because they’re both just idiots and they need to make out and of course scotty does it because its been painfully obvious to everyone on the ship for months that the captain and first officer are SO IN LOVE, LIKE GO FUCK ALREADY JESUS
- Yuri don’t let yourself get baited into a dance
batt- I SAID DON’T GET BAITED INTO A DANCE BATTLE! GODDAMNIT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO
BE MEETING SPONSERS!
- Victor! Mila! Stop encouraging them! AND STOP
- Victor you’re not even drunk! STOP DANCING WITH
THE SLOPPY DRUNK
- Why is there a stripper pole in here? Why is
this allowed to get out of hand? WHERE THE HELL ARE CHRIS AND THIS DRUNK’S
- Victor! DON’T LET DRUNKS HUMP YOU IN FRONT OF
SPONSERS! NO, YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM! I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK
YOU’RE IN LOVE HE’S DRUNK AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT! I’LL TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM
BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY MORE BAD DECISIONS.
- *sends Celestino a strongly worded email about
keeping an eye on his pupils in the future the next morning*
- Victor stop. Stop pining. You aren’t in love. No
I don’t believe in love at first sight and I certainly don’t believe in love at
first drunken humping. You’re right I’m not taking this seriously. He hasn’t
contacted you because he was DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND! Did you see how much booze
he downed? It’s a wonder he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. Just stfu and
- Victor no. It’s not a message. Victor no! Don’t
give up your career for an ill-advised booty call! UGH if I can’t stop you just
make sure our Yuri doesn’t find out where you went.
- WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN TOO YURI! I COULDN’T STOP
VICTOR MAKING AN ILL-ADVISED BOOTY CALL BUT YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE ATTEMPTING
THAT! YEAH SURE YOU’RE NOT THERE FOR THAT I’VE SEEN YOUR ROOM! …NO ONE HAS 30
POSTERS OF SOMEONE IN THEIR ROOM BECAUSE THEY ‘HATE THEM JUST SO MUCH’ YOU’RE
FOOLING NO ONE KID!
- OMFG did you really give him a program about the
night he got sloppy drunk and you turned into even a bigger moron? You’re going
to put me into an early grave.
- MILA! STOP POKING THE SMOL ANGRY CHILD! HIS
SCREECHING HURTS MY EARS!
- Wait, why the hell do I have to go live with my
ex-wife and the angsty teen? I don’t want to have to listen to a list of my
failures or a catalogue of all the ways Drunk Yuri is the worst especially as
it tends to devolve into ‘stupid pig, how dare he be so good looking’.
- Victor stop trying to pretend this isn’t an
elaborate booty call. This is not how coaching works.
- I have the living legend who gave it all up to
be a pretend coach in order to get with a sloppy drunk, a sadist of a female
skater who stirs up trouble on purpose, an angsty teen who can’t tell the
difference between having a crush and hating someone and an emo skater who is
far too old to be as emo as he is. Kill me now.
- Maybe I was giving Victor a disservice. His
student is actually doing quite well and maybe they are taking it seriously and
HOLY FUCK NEVERMIND JUST KISS YOUR STUDENT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD
VICTOR YOU ASSHAT
- Yuri has calmed down and I’m just going to
ignore Victor. Yep that’ll work OMFG did you HAVE TO KISS HIS FUCKING SKATE?!?
THIS IS WHY YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO TAKE HIM BACK TO THE HOTEL ROOM! YOU HAVE NO
- You want me to what? Be his coach? Well…only
because I like Maccachin.
- You’re alright actually, I hereby allow you the
name Japanese Yuri instead of Drunk Yuri. You may be the only sane person I
know surprisingly. I still am going to tell you off for fucking up though.
- ….I take it all back. WTF was up with all the
- …They got engaged. Victor really is going to
marry him….I’m not even surprised at this point. Fine. Keep him Japanese Yuri.
He’s a pain in the ass anyway.
- YES! I AM A PROUD DAD/COACH! HAPPIEST I’VE BEEN
THIS WHOLE YEAR
- WTF? You’re coming back now? Idek what’s going
- Well done Yuri! I’m so proud of you for winning
- …They are doing a super romantic pairs skate
because of course they are.
- Okay so Victor is coming back to Russia to train
cool….wait what do you mean you’re still going to coach Japanese Yuri? WTF? HOW
WOULD THAT EVEN WORK? WTF NO.
Post Episode Twelve
- STOP FLIRTING IN THE RINK! WHY GOD WHY AM I
- STOP GROPING HIM VICTOR THERE ARE CHILDREN
- YURI P STOP THROWING THINGS EVERY TIME THEY FLIRT
i love this magical lil corner of YOI fandom into which i have fallen
it is full of people trying to out-compliment each other and yelling at each other to write more, make more art, do more of whatever they love
and so much affection?? like holy shit i love how often i see people saying “i love you!” to each other, and how i can say that to the friends i’ve made and it’s not weird or anything bc omfg i love you guys
and if hate tries to creep in, y’all are like “NOPE. *forms wall*” – you won’t take shit from anyone and you are protective AF
this is @ all of you, not just mutuals. you are all so fantastic. xxoo <3
mars in aries:
"u know what. FUCk everything. why doesnt life just give me what i want!!! life is so SLOW and BORING and i want ADVENTURE why can't things just HAPPEN MY WAY for ONCE!!!" *someone tells them to chill* "who tf are you??? are you trying to fight me????? ok i dare you FIGHT ME"
mars in taurus:
*bad stuff happens* "lol im fine" *more bad stuff happens* "@ life are u trying to provoke me...try harder it aint working" *the worst thing that could possibly happen happens* "OK THATS IT IM AT MY LIMIT. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN THINK WTF WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME. anyways im actually totally chill haha let me just suppress my feelings it'll be ok :)"
mars in gemini:
"oh, i see! you think i'm wrong. i'm truly sorry to hear that some pitiful creatures like you find my beautiful mind so complex that you can't comprehend anything i'm saying. i'm sure that, for SOME people, it is indeed a bit too complex hahah lmao (:"
mars in cancer:
"fine, whatever. u may have said something rude but it's ok im just gonna ignore that" *later* "that fUkcin bitch...i'll show them later, trust me. i'll just wait for the right moment and destroy them when they least expect it"
mars in leo:
"??? did u just insult me or one of my interests ??? lmao first of all, HOW DARE YOU. second of all, YOU ARE WRONG. i am so beautiful and awesome and such a great friend and THIS is how u repay me??? i'm worth so much more than this. you are disgraceful. i am disgusted"
mars in virgo:
"i hate everything. NOTHING is going right and i am FALLING APART. honestly i don't even remember the last time something good happened in this world. why are people always annoying me? why is school always annoying me??? why is LIFE always annoying me????? can everyone just STOP"
mars in libra:
*someone points out that they need to get their life together* "bitch...what? i'm fine...what are you talking about.....my life is 100% under control!!!" *procrastinates everything* "wtf why do i have so much work??? i am dying under all the pressure i hate everything NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL"
mars in scorpio:
*on the outside* "okay you know what fuck you im so over this it's over" *on the inside* "i know all ur weaknesses, honey...and trust me, you will regret it. you think i'm over this but i'm definitely not lmao watch ur back"
mars in sagittarius:
"wtf bitch i hate u, what do you think of yourself??? how dare u disagree with me and say rude stuff to me ugh don't talk to me ever again" *after like 8 minutes max* "omfg the other day i was listening to the duck song and i was thinking about how much you'd like it i mean i bet you've already heard it but it's absolutely hilarious u should watch the video it went viral on youtube hahaha" *someone asks if they've gotten over their anger* "what anger? ...oh thAT. lmao whatever who cares about that, have you heard the duck song?"
mars in capricorn:
"yeah i'm pretty fucking upset right now, things definitely did not go the way i expected them to. anyways that's just life. i'm over it. i'm just gonna...try and distract myself.....and pretend nothing happened...because that'll help me stop thinking about my shitty life...probably"
mars in aquarius:
*on the outside* "i guess ur right. maybe what ur saying is the right thing to do :) :) :)" *on the inside* "...excuse me hoe.....ur wrong, i'm right. u can't tell me what to do. i'm well-aware of what i'm doing, if u think i'm gonna listen to anything u tell me to do ur 100% wrong bye"
mars in pisces:
*accidentally offends someone, someone asks why they're mad* "honestly i'm not totally sure why i'm mad. i didn't even know i was mad until you pointed it out. i mean there are the usual reasons for being mad...people are horrible, life just generally sucks. so yeah im probably just generally mad lmao no worries"
Omfg I really loved your twist on the soulmate aus those were so 👏 damn 👏 cute 👏 If you have the time and inspiration could you write something like that for nurseydex and/or whiskeytango
(friendly neighbourhood anon is referring to this post)
With Nursey and Dex, it is the opposite of easy. They spend a year and a half bickering, and sometimes working well together on the ice, and sometimes hating each other’s guts, and Dex would be perfectly content never to deal with Nursey again. Because as sophomore year drags on, the most irritating thing about Nursey’s presence is that he doesn’t irritate Dex as much as he should. Instead he starts inspiring this…swooping, lightweight feeling in Dex’s gut that makes him cringe.
And then, they’re flipping for dibs. And there’s one answer that Dex knows he wants and it’s that he gets the room, and improbably the coin sticks in the crack in the floor, straight up and down, and Dex’s hope crumbles. He sit’s on Lardo’s floor for hours trying to figure out why it bothers him as much as it does. Maybe it’s because he’d shared a room with his brother growing up, and he just wanted his own room for once, but at the very least he’ll survive sharing a room with Nursey. He might not survive well, but he’ll survive. But something else is bothering him about it, something to do with the swooping feeling, and the coin. The edges of the quarter are burnished, and a rusty sort of colour he wants to call red - and then it hits him. He’s seeing the coin in colour. And he’s fucked.
Nursey, contrarily, doesn’t start seeing anything in colour until partway through junior year. When one morning, Dex comes out of the bathroom wrapped in just a towel, and when he notices Nursey is still in their room and in just his briefs, a blush starts at Dex’s ears, and spreads to his cheekbones, and then down his neck and across his chest and halfway down his stomach. Nursey’s seen this exact reaction from Dex before, in greyscale, but this time, the flush is in pink. Nursey only has time to think “oops” and then doesn’t mention it.
They don’t talk about it, until one day Dex finds the poems Nursey’s been writing, the odes to the colours orange and red and yellow, pink, the rust of freckles, and the gold of unusually appealing eyes. And when Nursey gets back to their room and sees Dex holding this paper, he tries to hide it until Dex mentions he prefers sage for eyes, rather than gold.
Summary: You had always loved Jungkook, but he never knew what he had until it was far too late.
WARNINGS: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, CURSING, ANGST, SADNESS, TRIGGER WARNINGS
For the anon who requested this: “Angsty Jungkook scenario?? Maybe
where he says he doesn’t love you anymore and you leave him, but then he feels
his world is falling apart and you know?”
Writer’s note: I hate this. I hate this so much. OMFG I’m so sorry that I’m even posting this but oh well.
For the past fifteen years, you’d loved a man named Jeon
Jungkook. For fifteen years, you were
with a man you considered your soulmate. He was the one man that beat out all
the rest for your affection, and in return, you were the one woman who captured
his attention with just the power of your voice and the look in your eyes. You
thought that he could make you happy, that one day you could have a house where
children padded barefoot and squealed when you tried to give them baths.
For ten years, you’d spent your life with his ring adorning
your finger. For ten years you’d kissed his cheek before work and again when
you came home from your own job. For ten years you’d made dinner for him or
picked it up on your way home from the office. For ten years you sat curled
into his side on the couch while the two of you had your weekly movie night
sessions. For ten years you wrestled with him when you decided you wanted the
remote and he wasn’t willing to give it up. For ten years you laughed with him,
dreamed with him, and held his hand while he cried from the emotional success of
his career. For ten years, you clung to a man who had promised to love you
forever and always.
~Something is wrong with your best friend and you don’t understand what.~
(gif is not mine credit to owner)
After a week of not hearing from Jungkook he dropped off at home.
I was in bed, contemplating life and death. When I heard keys in the door lock, I knew it was him right away. He was the only one that had keys to my flat. What was he doing here? I hadn’t seen him in 3 weeks. “YAH ROSE I BROUGHT PIZZA!” I got out of bed and got to the living room where he was waiting for me with his adorable smile. I came up to him and asked bluntly:
“Where have you been?”
“Oh my god you sound like my mum.”
“I haven’t seen you for a long time, I was starting to forget what you looked like, not that that is a bad thing.” I said with a smirk.
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss this work of art.” he answered while pointing at himself.
I laughed at his quirkiness, and was happy that he seemed in good enough shape to make jokes.
“So are we ever going to eat this pizza or are you going to stand there forever.”
“I forgot how bossy you were.”
We both sat down on the couch and started to eat the pizza. While spending time with my best friend I realised how much you had missed his sense of humor and his goofy self. We were watching a movie and kept making silly comments about how bad the acting was. From time to time I took a glance at him just to admire his pretty face, and hoped that he wouldn’t catch me staring. It was good times.
what are your thoughts about bakugou and midoriya's relationship? platonic, i mean
I live and die for it, every part of the manga in which that relationship is shown progressing is between my favorite parts of the manga and I’ve reread them a hundred times and cried over them way more than necessary - the battle trial one? yes, the end of terms exam? absolutelyyes holy shit, the post-license exam fight? god yes fuck me that’s my absolute fav, the rescue arc? shit yes between all the reasons why that arc’s my fave the change in the deku/baku relationship is definitely a worthy of note one
It’s an interesting relationship, a painful one that’s making both of them grow so so so much, a rivalry they both need to better each other and keep each other straight on the path to become two great, all-around heroes - I’m not sure they’ll ever end up having the type of relationship Izuku has with Todoroki or Bakugou with Kirishima, I don’t think it’s possible for them to be friends like that, they’re just too different to properly fit like that and to avoid stepping on each other’s toes every single day of their lives they’d have to change their core personalities too much, but they did end up being able to coexist (Bakugou’s even giving Deku tips!!!) and I do think they’ll be able to cooperate and support each other in the end. If one day they’ll be able to make fun of each other in a friendly manner and egg each other on and be honest with each other without it escalating into a full blown fight I’d truly be happy, that’s probably my main dream for this whole manga. For them to have a healthy rivalry, one in which they can maybe even laugh together. I think it might happen, I’m waiting for it to happen
Hi Fran! I’m obsessed with your BakuShimaNari work. Here’s a cute thought to hopefully cheer you up a bit while you’re unable to draw: they’re all in their early 20s and Denki likes to poke/smooth out the little crease between Bakugo’s eyebrows and tease him about getting wrinkles early from all the scowling he does. Bakugo flicks him in the nose and says he’s starting to get crows feet from always grinning like an idiot.
Oh my god. Oh my g o d this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Oh my g OD I’m just imagining them doing that and Kiri in the background watching them like they’re most precious thing in the world I’m dying rip me this just made my whole life thank you so much anon *sob*
So, an anon asked me how to make a good story and tbh, I can’t tell you that because my story isn’t good. But hey, at least I haven’t totally failed so I’ll tell you what I think you should and shouldn’t do when it comes to storytelling.
After Yuri's hair is as long as viktor's used to be, it's much more silky smooth and thick than Viktor's was, and Viktor can't help but just /hate it/, and probably hates it even more when finding out Yuri literally does nothing to it, just shampoos, maybe conditions it if he remembers, and it still so soft and luxurious and Viktor's just "WHY?!"
HOLY HECK MY DEAR ANON, YOU ARE SAVAGE AF BUT I LOVE IT BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :3c *high fives you*
But DAMN IS VICTOR SALTY OMFG, and Yuri loves to rub it in his face ofc, I bet he always tosses his hair dramatically when he’s around Victor to show off how gorgeous and silky his hair is…
WAHAHAHAHAHA OUR SALTY SON IS SO SAVAGE TBH 8D
TYSM FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME MY DEAR ANON!!!! It made me laugh so hard kyahahaha, bless you >///7///< <33333333333
Could you possibly elaborate on the whole "Farkle discovering the patriarchy" situation? Thank you ever so much.
omfg okay do I need to put a warning for ~biological feminine situations~ or can people be mature? They can? Rad.
I’m setting this in 10th grade but before Farkle and Riley start dating.
Okay so it’s a normal Saturday night, Farkle’s home alone and is just chilling on his laptop. It’s like…Maybe 8:30
He was alone on a Saturday because The Flannels were on some away game or something and Riley and Maya had the Matthews’ apartment to themselves allll weekend and made a big deal about having a Girls Weekend
So suddenly he gets a text from Riley right
“How much do you love us??”
So he just sighs and responds “What are you gonna make me do now?” because the girls only use that line when they want something lol
“MASSIVE EMERGENCY. CODE RED. My whole family is gone.”
“Yeah, I know, that’s why you’re having a girls night???”
“MY MOM TOOK THE LAST BOX OF PADS WITH HER BC OUR CYCLE’S SHOULDN’T BE STARTING FOR TWO MORE WEEKS BUT THEY CAME EARLY AND WE’RE GONNA DIE”
“Literally what are you talking about?”
“Code Red??? Periods, dumbass. We have been caught off guard and are now trapped and dying. Can you run to the drugstore for us?”
“Maya says to tell you that if you don’t save us she’ll come to your house and free bleed on everything you love.”
“If she can get to my house she can get to a CVS???”
“You were so much more chivalrous in middle school.”
“12 year old me would’ve fainted in the tampon isle and you know it.”
“Farkle I cannot just bleed all over my house all weekend. Be the hero I know you are.”
“We’ll let you sleepover and stay for girls weekend??? We have the ability to order you a pizza with banana peppers and extra garlic right now.”
“If you’re trying to bribe me right now then I better be receiving a DAMN GOOD mani-pedi in the morning.”
“Of course! So you’ll do it???”
“I’m literally already halfway to the drugstore calm down woman I left the second you said Code Red😂😂😂😂“
“Wait what??? Then why were you pretending you weren’t gonna help???”
“Because now I’m getting pizza and a mani-pedi??😂“
“…I hate you but Maya seems to be more grudgingly impressed.”
“I tend to have that effect on a lot of people.”
“She says to the boy who’s supposedly saving her life. Okay, are there like specifics I need to look for here or…?”
So she gives him the specifics bc Maya likes tampons but Riley feels safer in pads because everyone is different~
Okay so Farkle gets to the store and he’s looking for the isle right
And he finds it and
“wtf Riley why are these boxes like 10 bucks each???”
“Oh don’t worry Farkle we’ll pay you back when you get here!!”
“No??? You will not??? Omfg do you actually have to spend $10 dollars every month on pressed cotton or whatever it is???”
“Actually I usually go through two packs each month so $20. But I can just get the other pack later it’s fine.”
“20 DOLLARS??? BECAUSE YOU AREN’T PREGNANT???”
“…Farkle darling calm down.”
“I am calm but???? This is so dumb????”
“Listen I fully agree with that sentiment but if you could hurry up a little that’d be great??”
Except now our young Minkus is looking around the rest of the ~Lady Aisle~
And he’s seeing all the razors and shampoo and conditioner and shave gel and deodorant and everything else and he’s like…wtf
“Riley was is EVERYTHING so overpriced in this aisle????”
“Because it’s the women’s aisle???? Our lives are overpriced????”
“Bruh did you really not know about this???”
“Is this a common thing holy shit??”
“ARE YOU FINALLY DISCOVERING THE PATRIARCHY????”
“Possibly???? I don’t know????”
“FARKLE THIS COULD BE A BREAKTHROUGH. OH BOY.”
“Why am I only noticing this weird pricing now tho???”
“You’re a white boy who’s part of the 1% sweetie the patriarchy exists for you.”
“But no babe it’s always been like this???”
“Like?? Everything is cheaper in the men’s aisle how does that make sense to anyone??”
“WHAT THE FUCK”
“Those tampons you’re buying are taxed too”
“They’re viewed as a luxury product or something idk man.”
“BUT???? YOUR UTERINE LINING IS SHEDDING??? YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT???”
“WE ARE AWARE”
“FARKLE IT’S SO EXPENSIVE TO HAVE A VAGINA I CAN NOT EVEN BEGIN.”
And then Riley is just telling him all this shitty stuff and Farkle is just standing in this aisle in a drug store getting his ass educated and he’s getting more and more frustrated and pissed off omfg
Like people walking down the aisle are lowkey getting afraid they just see this 15 year old boy texting furiously fast with a huge scowl on his face and sometimes his eyebrows will shoot up in surprise only to quickly knit themselves back together in anger
Riley’s listing everything she and Maya can think of he’s standing there for like 10 minutes omfg
“How much underwear can you get with $50???”
“Like???? A lot???? Packs of 5 only cost like 3 bucks????”
“I went to Arie the other day with a $50 gift card and I was able to purchase exactly 1 bra and 2 pairs of underwear.”
“W H A T.”
“THONGS ARE THE LEAST AMOUNT OF FABRIC REQUIRED BTW”
“THIS IS SO STUPID AND I HATE EVERYONE INVOLVED”
Maya and Riley are just. screaming back at home bc finally someone is getting this
But eventually it gets to a point where they gotta be “Kay Farkle we sent you out 20 minutes ago we REALLY need the stuff now”
“SEE??? YOU CAN’T CONTROL IT! THIS IS A MEDICAL THING WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???”
“Honey I know and when you get here we can scream about it in person and then Maya and I can give you all different examples of patriarchal capitalism and the 3 of us can spend the night in blissful righteous fury like we were always meant to I promise but please calm down enough to buy the goods??”
“What else can there be besides what you’ve spent the last 10 minutes ranting to me about holy shit???”
“Like…They make girls pants with fake pockets so they can sell us handbags.”
“Maya and I can think of more examples while you’re on your way here okay pumpkin? Will that make you feel better?”
“What would make me feel better is knowing my two best friends don’t have to overpay because of their gender???”
“Well, hate to break it to you honey, but that’s been going on for a while. For literally all women. I’m sure the pay gap doesn’t help the situation either.”
“I AM SO ENRAGED ON YOUR BEHALF RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT”
And now Riley’s just sending a barrage of texts like “Farkly take a deep breathe”, “Sweetheart just hurry up okay” stuff like that but he’s not even opening them this is the first time he has like 6 ignored texts from Riley Matthews but now he’s busy
He gets what he came here for- and grabs two extra boxes so he could save them a later trip like Riley mentioned- and now he’s rushing around the store right
He gets like 3 cartons of ice cream omfg cookie dough and mint chocolate chip and vanilla. He grabs a box of tissues and a DVD of ‘The Proposal’ on sale
He gets a big bag of m&m’s, a huge Hershey’s Special Dark bar, and a couple packs of those over priced Pepperidge Farm dark chocolate chip cookies omfg
He also gets some motrin and a 2 liter bottle of that super sugary blue raspberry soda that looks like it’s 98% percent chemicals and is the girls’ guilty pleasure
Slams it all down at the register and it’s a girl ringing him up, she looks like she’s maybe 20, she just sees all this and sees the anger in Farkle’s eye’s and smiles sadly and nods at him omfg
He nods back as he takes his bags and she fucking salutes him as he walks out of the store
Okay so the girls are in the apartment desperately texting Farkle because the food they ordered just got here and they can’t keep it up with the toilet paper stuffing much longer they have to change that shit every few minutes
Suddenly Riley gets a text from Farkle and she’s hoping it’s gonna say ‘buzz me up’ but instead:
“HOLY SHIT I JUST ALMOST GOT MUGGED I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN”
So they’re screaming in panic because their pet dork was in trouble and they can’t help???
“FARKLE ARE YOU SERIOUS???”
“100% THE GUY PULLED ME INTO AN ALLEY AND SLAMMED ME INTO A WALL AT KNIFE POINT OMFG”
“THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING??? ARE YOU OKAY???”
“I’M LAUGHING BECAUSE HE TOOK ONE LOOK INSIDE MY BAGS AND SAID, “OH. SORRY BRO, GO SAVE YA GIRL.”😂😂😂😂“
“F U C K”
He’s rushing to the apartment and sure he’s shaken up but he’s laughing. Riley’s staring at his messages with her mouth hanging open in shock and Maya’s on the floor laughing omfg
Riley turns to Maya and starts to say “He’s gotta be joking about this, right?” when immediately Farkle kicks the door open
His jacket is ripped and his hairs messed up. His nose is bleeding looks broken and there are a few small cuts the look like they definitely could’ve come from a knife omfg
But he puffs out his fucking chest and tosses all the bags onto the couch and just yells “I. P R O V I D E.”
The girls are shrieking with hysterics omfg
Once they get situated so they’re no longer free bleeding they try to clean Farkle up a little bit and Maya makes a crack like “This is what happens when you become aware of the patriarchy” omg
They’re also extremely grateful for everything he went out of his way to buy and are trying to pay him back and he’s not hearing it omfg
“Farkle this bill goes over 100 dollars we’re paying you back” “If you try I’d just use the money to buy you more shit okay leave it alone.”
They finally give up lol
They can’t get his nose to stop bleeding tho and suddenly Riley gasps in realization and throws a fucking tampon at him
He groans but finds it actually works quite well
Maya took a picture of him and he flipped off the camera lol
Okay so Riley’s like ‘scream about patriarchal capitalism now or later?’ and they look at the giant mountain of food they have- the girls ordered two pizzas, cheesy bread, and garlic knots, plus everything Farkle had brought lol.
Farkle just sighs and says “Pass me the Goddamn cheesy bread and get Ryan Reynolds beautiful face on the television pronto, it’s been a long fucking night.”
“Sweetheart it’s been, like, 40 minutes…”
“Long. Fucking. Night.”
So they settle in for a night trying to relax while watching romcoms and eating way more than they should lol
Maya gets all the screenshots of Riley’s convo with Farkle and jokingly posts them, and the picture of him she took, online and titles it ‘Farkle Minkus Discovers The Patriarchy And Immediately Gets Mugged’ lmao
She puts her phone away for the rest of the night and doesn’t think about it again as she and her two best friends cuddle with each other and try to eat themselves to death
So the next morning Riley and Maya are doing all their Girls Day activities they already planned- spa, movies, mani-pedis, they were trying to be super cliché you know- except now they have Farkle with them lol
They don’t mind having him there at all and as worked up as he got last night, some relaxation could potentially save his life rn
So like halfway throughout the day, they’ve stopped at a Starbucks before heading to the movies, Maya realizes she hasn’t checked her phone all day
So she pulls it out and
She has so many notifications??? wth
She checks what going on and realizes with a gasp. Holy shit. The post with all the screenshots went viral.
She didn’t even tell Riley and Farkle she posted them in the first place omfg she’s trying to explain this to them
It’s literally already become a meme. People are using the picture of beaten up, middle finger throwing, scowling Farkle with a tampon sticking out of his nose as a reaction meme h o l y s h i t
Some people are just quoting some of the things he said for meme joke purposes
The three of them are just quietly screaming in Starbucks omfg
It progressively gets bigger omfg
Like some news outlets are talking that it shed a great light on sexism and shit
And how teenage boys/some men in general can be oblivious to things like this until it literally slaps them in the face
Also everyone just found his reaction very amusing and a little sweet lol
So yeah like it eventually dies down but it was definitely a thing for a while omfg
All his selfies on Instagram were suddenly full of comments “HE PROVIIIIDES” lol
When Farkle grows up and gets into politics he bans the tax on feminine products lmao
So yeah that’s the time Farkle got his ass educated, got mugged, and then the OT3 accidently started a meme
ANTI CC'S ARE JUST STUPID I JUST HAD ONE ON MY DASH AND SHE READ ONE CHAPTER OF CITY OF BONES, AND IS CONTRADICTING EVERY FUCKING LINE. WHAT EVEN???? HONESTLY, COB WAS CC'S FIRST BOOK AND SHE HAS IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE THEN. AND DISSING CASSANDRA IS JUST NOT GOING TO WORK SINCE SHE CREATED THE UNIVERSE THOSE IDIOTS STAN. SHE IS THE REASON THE SHOW EXISTS, AND ALL THEY DO IS HATE ON HER. I'M SO MAD FHDJJDKSJDHD
OMFG I LITERALLY WANTED TO DRINK THE ANTI FREEZE DESCRIBED ODNHSJDOSNSHJEKW I CAN’T EXPRESS THE STUPIDITY OF THAT POST
1. i don’t know where they live but *gasp* there’s anti freeze that’s not blue. there’s green anti freeze, if you look through the results and don’t ignore the results that aren’t in your favour.
2. if you don’t fucking like the books don’t fucking read them. it’s literally that simple.
3. DEMONS ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO BE DISGUSTING OH MY GOD
4. they can’t have actually gone to their english teacher because ‘ribbon slim’ is a common english phrase used to describe slim people in writing. i’ve used it in stories i write for english before, and handed those stories into my teacher.
5. ‘poisonous water glits’. enough said.
6. actually nvrmind i want to explain this. water, as many people know, glitters. it glitters in the sun. the word poisonous is used to have the effect of isabelle being dangerous, as she is. so is poisonous water.
7. 'favouritism!!1!1’ wow sorry if clary is attracted to jace and notices him more. as the entire book is her POV. but you know. favouritism.
8. finally, this was written in 2005, published in 2007. cc has grown so much in terms of writing since then. what’s even the point of obsessing over a book written 12 years ago, i don’t understand it??