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NOOOOOOOOOOO COME BACK

You: [College AU] Why is Cas wearing your AC/DC shirt? CB
Has it finally happened? Can we drop the balloons and confetti? CB

Stranger: Oh my god Charlie can you not? We were hanging out and he dropped pizza down the front of a white shirt. That’s all. -DW

You: That’s /it/. Ugh. CB
Anticlimactic. CB

Stranger: Sorry to disappoint. And I told you nothing was gonna happen between me and Cas anyway. -DW

You: Why not though? You two would be great together! CB

Stranger: We’re just friends and there’s no reason to think otherwise… -DW

You: No reason to think otherwise? Really? The way you two look at one another, first of all, how protective you are of him, second of all. And the /staring/. I mean, dear god. CB

You: The amount of sexual tension between you two could power a small country. CB

Stranger: Funny. And there is no looking or staring. Sure I get protective but friends look out for each other, it’s not weird. -DW

You: Okay, no one gets quite as manic as you did when you caught Balthazar cheating on Cas. CB

You: Dude, you broke his nose and almost broke his arm. CB

Stranger: He broke Cas’ heart, broken bones don’t compare. -DW

You: Oy vey. CB

You: I mean, I agree, but you could’ve gotten, like, jail time for assault. CB

You: If Castiel ever finds out about that… Dude, I don’t know. CB

Stranger: Well look at it this way; you’re not gonna tell him, I’m not gonna tell him, and he’s not gonna believe a word that comes outta Balthazar’s mouth. So I’m not too worried about that scenario. -DW

You: I told him. CB
But he was super drunk and it was right after the break up so he don’t remember that I said anything. CB

Stranger: Seriously? Why would you do that? What if he’d remembered or taken it badly or just… It coulda ruined everything! -DW

You: Or helped things. CB

Stranger: Helped things? ‘Hey Dean beat the shit outta the guy you just broke up with and probably still have feelings for’. Yeah, that would have gone down just great. -DW

You: Oh, he doesn’t have feelings for Balthazar at all. CB

Stranger: So you’re some kind of love expert now? -DW

You: No, I’m a Cas expert. CB

Stranger: Of course you are. Go on then, enlighten me. How do you know he doesn’t have feelings for Balthazar any more? -DW

You: Because he was never really focused on Balthazar. CB

Stranger: He was dating the guy for almost a year, I’d say that was pretty focused… -DW

You: He was dating Balthazar to keep his mind off of someone else. CB

Stranger: What? Why go to all that trouble and not just ask the other person… Are they even more of a jackass or something? -DW

You: No, but he’s pretty sure the guy doesn’t like him at all. And the guy kind of tends to flirt a lot. CB

Stranger: You say that like it’s a bad thing, I’m almost offended. But he coulda said something, we coulda scoped this guy out for him. I reckon we’d make good wing men, or wing woman in your case… -DW

You: Oh, I’m an excellent wing women, and he knows that. But Castiel got together with Balthazar just after the other guy hit the year and a half year mark with his girlfriend. The guy’s bi. CB

Stranger: Well that sucks. It woulda saved everyone a lot of pain otherwise. -DW

You: Yes, I suppose it would’ve. Things kinda fell apart after the guy broke up with his girlfriend. Castiel kinda thought maybe he had a shot but he never went for it. CB

Stranger: Why not? We should try hook him up now! That’s our next mission! -DW

You: Dean. CB

Stranger: What? Do you not think this dude’ll go for it? -DW

You: Okay. Lemme just… Bearr with me. CB

You: When did you and Lisa celebrate your year and a half. CB

Stranger: Like… just over a year ago…? -DW

You: And when did Castiel and Balthazar star dating. CB
When did you and Lisa split and when did Castiel and Balthazar split. CB

Stranger: I don’t…. Okay those are some weird coincidences but… -DW

You: Aaand now you’re in denial. CB

Stranger: You’re just trying to screw with me right now. You can’t actually mean what you’re implying. -DW

You: Not just a river in Egypt. CB

Stranger: This isn’t a game! -DW

You: I’m being serious! CB

Stranger: So you’re SERIOUSLY trying to tell me that Cas, one of my best friends, has had this super secret crush on me and dated some douchebag because he thought I wouldn’t like him? You’ve been reading teen fiction again, haven’t you? -DW

You: No, I’ve been talking to Castiel for the last year and a half while he’s been trying to figure this all out, because he’s not sure how to deal with it. So he comes to me and a gin bottle and our friends Ben and Jerry, and we talk it out. CB

Stranger: And neither of you thought to inform me of this before now? -DW

You: Again, Castiel didn’t know how to talk to you about it! And he only talked to me 'cause I caught him drunk crying one night. CB

Stranger: Crying? When? Why? -DW

You: God, what eight months ago? Cas knew Balthazar was cheating on him before you caught the Brit Twit in the act, and he just wanted you and Lisa to be happy, that’s why he’d been cutting off communication for a while and stuff. And some asshole spray painted 'God hates fags’ on his door, so he covered it up and got drunk. CB
And I had to return his text book and BOOM explanation. CB

Stranger: Oh god. What if I said I might know who was behind the writing? -DW

You: WHAT. CB
THEN WE NEED TO BREAK /THEIR/ NOSE AND ARM. NOW. CB

You: Dean, it seriously fucked him up. CB

Stranger: I didn’t know, okay? She said that everything was cool and that she understood and I thought she meant it! -DW

You: Oh my god. Lisa? Fucking /LISA/? CB

Stranger: I really honestly didn’t think she would do anything. I believe her when she said she’d keep it quiet and leave him alone. God I’m such an idiot. -DW

You: Whoa whoa whoa wait. CB
You broke up with Lisa for /Castiel/? CB
I’m going to kill the both of you. CB

Stranger: I didn’t do it /for/ him, okay? I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t be with Lisa when I thought I felt something for Cas. Why’d you think I was so quick to break Balthazar’s face? And I just couldn’t figure out… well, anything. -DW

You: Okay, maybe you didn’t do it /entirely/ for him, but he was a motivator. And the two of you are killing me dear fucking god. CB
Castiel’s dad was coming the next day, Dean, and when that shitty paint dried, you could set ill see 'God Hates Fags’ on the door, okay? And Castiel had to come out to /his/ dad. HIS DAD. CB

Stranger: I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? I’m sorry Lisa turned out to be a psycho bitch. I’m sorry that I broke up with her when I realised I was in love with my best friend instead. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen and I don’t know how many ways there are to say I’m fucking sorry! -DW

You: Okay. Okay, we can sort this out. CB
Jo and I will contemplate threatening Lisa, and you have to go talk to Castiel. Like now. CB
Literally right now. CB

Stranger: You can tell him it was her. Hell, you can even tell him about Balthazar for all I care. Then if he decides I’m worth the breath to say “I hate you” he can go right ahead. -DW

You: Dean, he could never hate you. And I’m not just saying that. You’d have to do something /really/ bad. You didn’t spray paint it on the door, Lisa did. CB 
Drop whatever you are doing, and go see Castiel. CB

Stranger: Do you know where he is? -DW

You: He’s at his dorm. CB

Stranger: And I really have to do this right now? -DW

You: Yes. You do. CB

Stranger: Fine. Me and a bottle of Jack are on our way. I’ll let you know how it goes if I survive. -DW

You: Nope, you’re doin’ this sober. CB

Stranger: Not even dutch courage? -DW

You: Fucking no, Dean. CB

Stranger: Christ, I don’t know why I listen to you sometimes. -DW

You: Because I know what I’m talking about. CB

Stranger: Well I guess we’ll put that to the test then. -DW

You: Yes. We will. CB

Stranger: Dean shoved his phone into his pocket, pacing anxiously around his room for a minute before leaving, locking the door behind himself and walking away before he had a chance to change his mind. He took the long route to Castiel’s dorm, attempting to mentally prepare what he had to say but forgetting it all once he was stood outside. It took all the courage he had to just knock on Castiel’s door and not run away.

You: Castiel had been curled up on his couch, watching reruns of Dr. Sexy. He would never, /never/ admit to Dean that the other had gotten him into it, but he was more or less obsessed. He glanced back at the door. “Hang on,” he called out before muting the television and walking to the door, opening it. He was almost knocked backward by the sight of the Winchester. “Dean, hi,” He greeted, smiling up at the other. “What’s up?”

Stranger: Dean completely froze on the spot, feeling the colour drain from his face. “Uh…” he managed. “I, uh, just… was passing and thought I’d drop in and talk. It’s been a while since we had a chat…even though…that was this morning… Can I come in?” he asked abruptly, pushing past Castiel and taking up pacing across his room. He glanced at the television and then back at Castiel. “Dr. Sexy?”

You: Castiel smiled, stepping aside to let Dean in. “Not a problem, Dean. You know I value our talks.” He closed the door behind Dean and glanced at the television before crossing his arms. “Shut up,” He mumbled. “I fell behind after midterms, okay? No judging allowed, this is a judge-free dorm.” Castiel moved over to the couch, shutting the television off and sitting down, tucking his legs up under himself and looking up at Dean, patting the cushion beside him. “Come here.”

Stranger: Dean stopped his pacing and studied the seat anxiously for a moment, mentally deliberating, then sat down as far from Castiel as he could manage. “I’m not judging, it’s a great show. I just didn’t think you liked it all that much.” He wrung his hands together in his lap, looking at the ground by Castiel’s feet instead of at Castiel himself, trying to build up the nerve to start saying what had to be said. He imagined his brutal murder by Charlie if he chickened out and took a deep breath. “Okay, first question, do you have any sharp objects on you?”

You: "Yeah, well, you kinda got me into it. I impulsively bought a pair of cowboy boots last week,“ Castiel admitted, scratching the back of his neck almost bashfully before he looked back up at Dean. He leaned back in his seat when Dean finally settled down, frowning at the distance between them. "Sharp objects- Dean, what on Earth?” He questioned, laughing a bit. “What’s um… What’s going on?”

Stranger: "I talked to Charlie.“ Dean said quietly, still not looking at Castiel. "A really long talk. About everything.” He stopped talking, having to focus on breathing and not being sick. People talked about butterflies in their stomach when they got nervous and Dean’s butterflies wanted out. It took him a full five minutes to get under control enough to continue. “I figured if I knew everything then you had the right to too. So I need you to hear me out. Will you do that for me please?” He finally looked at Castiel, knowing full well how terrified he must look.

You: Castiel was quiet when Dean spoke. Everything. /Everything?/ How much was everything. Castiel nodded. “Okay,” He conceded. “Okay, yeah. I’ll hear you out, Dean. I-” Castiel cleared his throat. “Whatever you have to say. Like I said, this dorm is a judge free zone.” He moved his arms about, gesturing to the rest of the apartment in an attempt to lighten the mood, even though he knew it wasn’t much use.

Stranger: Dean nodded slowly and thought for a moment. “Well I guess it’d be easiest if I told you something you’d been told already first. I broke your ex-boyfriend’s face.” he said without any regret. “Almost snapped his arm in half too. I almost wish I had, if I’m being totally honest.” Dean didn’t realise his hands were clenched into fists until he looked down and slowly uncurled them, frowning at the indents his nails had left. “Do you want time to process or should I go for the band aid technique?” he asked before continuing.

You: Castiel’s hands shot out, resting over Dean’s gently, running his fingers over Dean’s palms where the indents were. “Don’t do that,” he scolded quietly. “And you shouldn’t have. Why would you risk being arrested for /that/? Sam needs you, Dean, your mother needs you, to do something like that because of- Because of /him/ is just dumb.” He leaned back, leaving his hands within reach of Dean’s. “And band aid,” he added, looking at the other.

Stranger: Dean wanted to reach out and take Castiel’s hand, make the most of the little time they had left on good terms, but he refrained. “Okay then. I know that you came out to your dad and I know why. And I have an feeling I know who did it too. After I broke up with Lisa I asked her to keep the reasons to herself and not act on them but… I think she’s the one that did it and it’s all my fault and I’m sorry. You need to understand that I never meant for you to get hurt and I feel so fucking guilty that you did and-” He had to stop. His head was swimming and he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. He looked at the door and told himself to move and just get out but his body wouldn’t cooperate.

You: Castiel fell completely silent for a few moments when Dean cut off. Lisa. Lisa spray painted that on Castiel’s door? Castiel cleared his throat, looking down at his lap before he looked back up at Dean. “Never did like her,” He mumbled. “You didn’t hurt me, Dean. And surprisingly, neither did my father. It wasn’t an easy talk and I’m never welcome in his home again, but we sort of knew that that was going to happen. I’m better without him.” Castiel’s hand reached out again. “Look, none of that is your fault, okay? hat was just one person acting out of anger and hate, and I am not mad at you for that.”

Stranger: Dean couldn’t help but frown at Castiel, retracting his hand as he spoke. “Why? She did it because of me, because I broke up with her. You have every reason to be mad at me for that. So why aren’t you?” Dean could feel tears stinging at his eyes, something which often happened when he got too worked up. “Because you’re secretly in love with me? It’s not a secret any more, Cas. So you can be as pissed as you want.”

You: Castiel had opened his mouth to retort, frowning when Dean pulled his hand away. “Look,” He said quietly. “The only thing I’m mad at you for is fighting with Balthazar because of the negative repercussions it could’ve had for you. What happened with Lisa… I don’t know, okay, you split with her and she flipped. She’s a bitch, alright? How is that your fault? And yeah, thank god it’s not a fucking secret anymore because I would never have gotten around to actually telling you. So… If the knowledge of my affection makes you uncomfortable, I absolutely understand you’d prefer to terminate our friendship.”

Stranger: Dean shook his head in disbelief. “How the hell are you so calm about this? I tell you I beat the shit outta your ex and you’re worried about the repercussions for me. I tell you I know that you like me and you’re relieved. Try this on for size: I broke it off with Lisa because I had feelings for you. Are you okay with that too? Because I’m sure not!” He didn’t realise he’d been almost yelling until the room was silent. He closed his eyes and gave a disappointed sigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have got mad. I just don’t want you to forgive me. I don’t deserve it. You’ve been through so much crap because of me and…” He shook his head, knowing nothing he could say would make this better.

You: Castiel watched Dean closely. Dean didn’t… /Want/ to like him, then? He just /did/? That’s what he was getting from this conversation. “I’m calm because…” Castiel trailed off, attempting to find a way to express himself. “I’m calm because… Because I’m fucking calm. I don’t know what else you want me to do, Dean. If you want me to yell back, I will, but there’s really no reason for me to. You beat up Balthazar and could’ve gotten hurt. But you’re fine and that makes me happy. You know I like you and that makes me happy. You don’t want to like me, but you do, so that makes me /less/ happy. Makes me feel a bit melancholy, actually, but that’s nothing for me to yell over.”

Stranger: Dean’s eyes snapped open and he looked at Castiel in confusion. “Wait, what? In what weird, backward universe did anything I just said mean I didn’t want to like you?” He placed his hand on Castiel’s cheek and made the other man look at him. “Cas, I do like you. Hell, maybe-” he shook his head. “You put yourself in a relationship you didn’t wanna be in because of me. You got harassed by my psychotic ex. You were forced to come out to your dad before you were ready. All this bad stuff comes back to me, Cas. I’m like some kind of bad luck omen. You can’t honestly say you want that following you round for the rest of your life.”

You: "And /you/ honestly can’t keep blaming yourself for everything that happens to everyone around you. I was going to come out to my father eventually, and the results were going to be less than ideal regardless of when it happened. Yeah, your ex is psycho, but that happens. What happened with Balthazar was /my/ mistake. I put myself in that situation willingly, alright?“ Castiel put his hand over Dean’s, intertwining their fingers. "You aren’t bad luck, Dean, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t want to imagine my life without you, whether it be in a platonic or romantic capacity.”

Stranger: Dean nodded slowly, taking a moment to process everything before pulling Castiel into a tight hug, letting out a small chuckle as he did. “All this because of some pizza.” he mumbled to himself, locking his arms firmly around Castiel. “Who knew?” He stayed there for a few minutes before letting go with a small sigh. “Now, there are a couple more things that need to be discussed. Well, one that needs to be discussed, the other is just something to make you aware of…”