When you die, people won’t remember your tweets or your statuses. They will remember what you actually did for them and how you made them feel. True service is in the work you do on the ground and with people in real life starting with your family. Writing can’t replace that.
Those who love you don’t shy away from keeping you in check because your wellbeing is more important to them than even your friendship. They’d rather risk offending you than watch you harm yourself. They’d rather risk losing you than watch you lose yourself.
Here is an exercise for your heart that could save your life spiritually:
1. Think of a family member, friend, or “enemy” that you know.
2. Imagine if you got a phone call that that person’s parent, spouse, or child has passed away.
3. Imagine if you heard they’d been a terrible car accident and might not make it.
4. Imagine if you heard they’d been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
5. Now think about what you would do?
6. Would you call them? Would you go to the hospital to hug them? Would you show up to the funeral of their family members?
7. Now think even worse, what if you heard that that person actually died.
8. Would you go to their funeral and cry knowing that your ego stopped you from working things out, and you have to live with that regret for the rest of your life?
9. Imagine if the next time you see that person is on the Day of Judgment.
10. Now ask yourself: Is it worth it? Should I really wait until one of the above happens?
The Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned a man being from the people of Paradise simply because he cleaned his heart every night.
It’s time for you to clean yours…
Oh Allah, let our love for You overwhelm our hearts in such a way that they cannot contain poisonous hatred. Ameen
Slip ups are so much more costly nowadays. Social media is unforgiving and hinders growth. Everything you’ve ever said in a moment of anger or in immaturity will be used against you. Things you said in a certain context will be intentionally decontextualized years later and dug up. Things that you deleted and wish you never wrote will be carefully preserved by people who hate you and want to bury you in your past mistakes.
Maybe thats a lesson though that we need to always be more responsible with our words. That even before social media, your words were being recorded and saved. That everything you’ve ever said may have impacted someone for years after even if you moved on. That we should heed the prophetic advice to not say things today that we will have to apologize for tomorrow.
I pray that I’ve written and said more good than evil, and that my carefully archived scrolls will be a proof for me rather than against me.
I can’t help but think of Abu Bakr (ra) grabbing his tongue and saying, “this has brought me to dangerous places.”
I ask my Lord and all of you to forgive me for anything I’ve ever said, written, or done that hurt you.
Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Worry about who you actually are. When your Lord raises you on the day of judgment, He will not be swayed by public opinion. He knows who you are without the titles and likes. So focus on building your character instead of your reputation.
Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. While mentioning the rights of spouses the Prophet (pbuh) said “do not belittle them.” The tone in which you address your partner should be both loving and respectful, not antagonistic. Realize that your children may grow up to speak to their spouses rudely as a result of observing a poor role model, and even address you in like manner