olze

anonymous asked:

I grew up surrounded by really unhealthy relationships and you guys are my relationship goals tbh, so I just want to ask... how do you do it? How do you keep a relationship strong for 6+ years, how do you even get to the point where you're as confident and comfortable in your relationship as you guys seem to be? How do you handle fights for example? Silly question, I know but I honestly never had good role models in that area and I really need advice so I don't end up repeating their mistakes.

5 words. 

Communication, communication, communication, communication, communication. 

Talking to each other is KEY. Literally about everything. Even if I feel insecure or bad about something Sylar does that annoys me, I tell him. “Hey I hate it when you do this, and I might crazy for hating that and I’m sorry but I hate it olz stop.” 

“Oh okay, I did not know that.”

And when it comes to issues like that, we make sacrifices. Sylar knows now to avoid that ‘thing’ because it irritates me or vice versa.

Its waaay better than NOT telling them. Because its never NOT going to bother you. You shouldn’t have to sit there and stew intense problems, trying to ‘grow accustomed’ to each other. Thats not how relationships work. Its a give and take, compromise, and that only happens when your honest with each other. 

For arguments – don’t let the argument fester. 

Finish it. 

Even if we are in public, if we start an argument we will excuse ourself to go and bang it out. It gets our feelings out in the open, and helps us move on faster. 

I used to want to be left alone when Sylar made me mad, but that really only made me sit in my anger and dwell on how much he pissed me off. When you go back to talking, its still going to be an argument. 

Talk to each other!

Through arguments, through issues, at least once a day if you can.

For us, having a significant other isn’t ‘having a best friend.’  It’s having a mirror. Hanging out with Sylar is like being alone for me. I get to be myself, be relaxed, say and do what I want with no judgment – like I’m alone.

His presence doesn’t change me at all– it adds to it.