Sooooo you might have noticed the Google Doodle is a bit more colorful than usual?

I’m beyond honored to have had the chance to create a doodle for Gilbert Baker, creator of the rainbow flag representing diversity, unity, acceptance and pride.

The first flag was pieced together by Baker, he and others hand-dyed fabric and sewed it in an attic in San Francisco.

I wanted a doodle with the same hand-made feeling, so I took it upon myself to learn to sew (not easy, btw) and recreated the original 8-color flag in my tiny kitchen in SF…literally home made! It was especially inspiring knowing I was filming just a few blocks down from where Gilbert made his original flag.

This doodle was beyond personal to me. As an LGBT person, I remember seeing the rainbow flag in the Sochi Olympics Doodle and feeling an enormous measure of acceptance, support and pride. That moment was one of the reasons I wanted to join the Doodle Team, in hopes of opportunities to speak out and both brighten and strengthen people’s days.

If seeing this on the homepage today can offer support for someone dealing with any sort of hardship, it will have been more than worth it (even learning to sew).

Happy Pride ❤️💛💚💙💜


Porter Robinson quote starters

  Source of quotes

“ my freaking fans are the freaking best. freak “

“ wow im so adorable wow wow “

“ fuck the sore throat fairy. “

“ one of my favorite memories of the last year was telling _____ about my new music and him offering to be my therapist “

“ i played stepmania in front of my manager today and he asked me what was wrong with me “

“ list of things my cold is keeping me from doing: breathing “


“ i am and always have been secretly a robot “

“ my favorite feature is clicking to an unloaded part of the video, and youtube stops loading and forces you to refresh “

“ the entire athleticwear fad has been insanely convenient and comfy “

“ pump it up plebs “

“ tropical pineapple fuck offf “

“ this is me suppressing my hateriest impulses “

“ i forgot to breathe “


“ what’s an ekowraith “

“ this ‘very decent christmas’ compilation makes me wanna go to xmas party djed by ____ in a santa hat he doesnt seem to know he’s wearing“


“ you guys are my favorites (i have favorites). “

“ i’m being an insomniac piece of shit “

“ i will fuck you up at age of empires “

“ y'all are some straight-up buttlickers for not sending me or even telling me about krmt “

“ attn all boyfriends of twitter: may you all give jim halpert-tier gifts this year “

“ I’ll be the one dying “

“ Ideally, I’d be waking up at 7am on my farm “

“ untz untz untz untz “

“ Ay I will ay~ “

“ i tossed that fucker off “

“ Stand up and get out of my cool guy crouch “

“ Now i know how Olympic athletes feel “

“ I’m making smoke over here “

“ Our beautiful child has be ruined “

“ I’m starting to make weird faces, i can feel it “

“ we are definitely absolutely in the club “

“ my hand hurts! “

“ And there’s no question i think that i like cute things and shit “

“ These are kind of like Star Wars galaxies “

“ i like crying about moe girls “

“ put a fucking shirt on you bro “

“ im fucking crying and sad “

“ oh man, in game music is playing “

“ windows media player, killin it “

“ i’m the realist “

“ you can be a guy who plays a weird flute “

“ i was lmaoin “

“ now that i have your attention, check this out: people in australia think it’s funny that we say “badass” “

“ funny meme rukes. good shit “

“ I dreamed last night that I met Wolfgang Gartner. He didn’t know Say my Name. “

“ name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-name-and-you-can-nam “

“ this baristas name is tiff tiff “

“ neek thiyah “

“ meme-free since 1992 “

“ i couldnt find the version of the tour poster that had giraffage’s name on it so i improvised with ms paint “

“ .. join us…. “

“ (glances at watch, groans) “

“ im looking forward to corporate twitter accounts attempting the doge meme well into the year 2017 “

“ i woke up at 6:00 AM feeling sick and having a weird, delirious dream about needing to turn in a mixtape today “

“ eating poutine does nothing for me. “

“ im pretty sure the best way to characterize the amount of ice cream i just ate is “illegal” “

“ when someone starts talking while i’m trying to show them a song, i will 1) hate them 2) passive aggressively triple the volume right away “

“ I just burned the hell out of my hand on steam. “


“ You got gengar eyes “

“ someone just approached me & asked 1. are you in a rockband 2. are you on the Disney channel “because you look famous”. answered yes to both “

“ snapchats i have received so far: shirtless dudes, videos of college girls smoking blunts, pictures of cats “

“ that sneeze felt so good that i got chills “

bring home the gold. 

fencer!tae and taekwondo golden boy!kook (i re-read @nikkmonoxyls olympics!au because of the summer games, and i’m living) 

anonymous asked:

I have a feeling the Olympics in rio were just the start of what's to come for the uswnt in the future. They're not progressing, they're regressing. Other teams are progressing. They're not dangerous against the top teams

*insert that screenshot of that tweet saying the men’s team changed their coach and now they’re playing better*

Three years ago today, I picked up a sword and changed my life.


I sat here for a good while trying to figure out how to explain what HEMA has done for me, both physically and emotionally, but it’s too hard to summarize, because how do you summarize a thing that heals you? How do you summarize a thing that makes you forget all of the bad things in your life, but instead makes you extra thankful for all the good? How do you summarize a thing that pushes you to your absolute limit - but leaves you wanting to come back and push that limit even further?

I remember watching the Olympics back in 2012, feeling wistful and envious because I’d never really been part of a team like that, never really known the feeling of pure joy that comes from personal athletic accomplishment (whether a personal best in training or in competition). I remember watching those Olympics while being so underweight doctors were asking me if I starved myself. I remember thinking about all those things I *couldn’t* do, and the many days I would wake up wondering what was the point of getting out of bed?


Now I look forward to every day at the gym and at training, as each day brings a chance to reach a new personal best. It’s not easy. There are moments of frustration, of yelling at a higher power, but there is never a moment where I wonder if I should stop doing this, or if it is no longer worth it. And every step of the way there are fencers who challenge and encourage each other to be the best they can be.

The last time I went to Europe, in June 2014, (one of) the highlight(s) of my trip was looking at the gorgeous swords on display in Stockholm and Copenhagen. The next time I go to Europe, this fall, I’ll be playing with swords for real. As at Longpoint this year, I may not come home with any victories. It’s okay, though.

Finding HEMA is the biggest win of them all.

anonymous asked:

tbh while "my gf was too fat for missionary" guy was a creep, I'm less than comfortable with your response. Speaking from experience, that's a position that can be tricky to impossible especially if the one on top is fat too. Ur sex life isn't the universal experience of fat sex, you know?

Yes, my casual blowing off of a creep that said he SLIPPED off of a girlfriend when he’s skinny clearly means everything? Also apparently I’ve never had sex with a fat person? Also the other fat people commenting?

No one said a sex position isn’t difficult or uncomfortable (fuck my disability makes some feel Olympic competition material), he said it was TOO difficult to complete because he would slip off, implying he was just… Laying there and then blamed the weight of the girl.

Never said my experience was universal, but I’m not the one making assumptions about other people’s experiences tbh.

anonymous asked:

hi can i please have more bokuto headcanons? that was so cute! i love the grapes

omg yes you can??? the grapes were my favorite part!!

  • he can literally catch anything in his mouth people throw at him
    • across the room? doesn’t matter
    • a whole clementine? easy
    • once caught an apple in his mouth even though it almost chipped his tooth
    • he’s the best at catching throws from akaashi and secretly loves showing off
    • his record is 64 catches in a row, and the only reason the streak broke was because kuroo accidentally threw the raisin at his eye because he was laughing so hard
  • v good at jump rope. i like to think he’s got a ton of siblings, and probably some younger ones, and he teaches all of them jump rope. he can do the crazy double dutch like it’s nothing
  • okay this is kind of off the wall but i was imagining him in american gym classes the other day?? he’d be a MONSTER he’d get picked first for everything
    • whatever team he’s on has not lost dodgeball once. reigning school champion
    • we played this game called jedi which was like dodgeball but with bats and he’d be really good at that too
    • dominated the baseball and basketball units
    • we did a mock olympics things and i feel like he’d win gold in everything
  • exceptionally good at paper football. he makes akaashi fold them but then he can flick them to any target in the room
  • one time at a college party i played a drinking game called vietpong which basically one side has the basic pong set up and the other side gets to put their cups in any spot around the room as long as it’s visible. he’d destroy anyone at that game.
  • also really good at quarters
  • has found a total of over 300 dollars in change by now
    • is secretly funding akaashi’s snacking habits with all the change he finds
  • he’s been able to cartwheel one handed since he was 8 and does it to celebrate in matches. almost got kicked off the court once for excessive celebration
  • weirdly good at that rope climb thing in gym class
  • set the school record for the pacer test
  • the gymnastics team wanted him but he thought volleyball was more fun
    • the gymnastics, soccer, baseball, and track coaches regularly get together and cry because he won’t be on their teams

Yuzuru’s 1st interview of 2017! On Hero’s (Fuji TV):
[from 1:37 of 1st video below]
Happy new year!
-Happy new year!!

How are your feelings for the new year?
- I’m feeling very fired up. (laughs) Because 2017 is the year before the Olympics. I feel that I must work hard and do it well from here.

Any wishes/prayers?
- I haven’t gone for the New Year shrine visit yet. (laughs)
It is important to pray (or make the wish) but the one who has to carry it out is me…

About 4CC
- I haven’t participated in 4CC in a long time. Usually, after nationals, there are 3 months of having nothing until Worlds. So in a way, I can compete while there is still the competition feel/sense. I have not won 4CC before, so I would like to take the title.

It is at the same venue as the Olympics, right?
- Yes. I would like to fit/adjust my peak going towards that. It’s an important chance to be able to skate at the same place. And it is also at the same time (of the year), so it is good practice for adjustments.

Narration: He won the gold at Sochi Olympics in 2014. The year before, he also went to the same venue for a competition, GP Final. He said it was good to get a feel of the ice and the atmosphere of the place and things like that.

- (from another video) The temperature of the ice and the temperature of the venue directly affects our bodies and our skating. And whether each note of the piano for my FS can be heard, things like that. I would like to look at these things carefully. (t/n. this part was aired in another news programme later, see 2nd video below)

About PyeongChang Olympics
- It is getting nearer and nearer. When you say one year, it feels short but then there are 365 days, so there is a lot of time. I would like to treasure/make good use of each moment of this time.

[old footage shown –he said “Efforts tell lies but it will not be in vain.”–translated before in my old post]

Y- It’s the year before the Olympics, so I feel I have to improve/evolve in every area. Training that will show results in competition, ways of putting in effort, I am also working on things like that.
Kato-san: But Hanyu-senshu’s evolution is already amazing….
Y- No, still far from it, far from it…… 
First, I want to do my FS with no mistakes. This season’s FS, I have added in a quad loop, 2 quads in the 2nd half, the quad salchow and quad toe in the 2nd half, and also 2 (triple) axels; there are still many areas in my programme that I need to work on, so that’s the first thing that has to evolve.

[interview ends]

Kato-san in studio: The 4CC next month is in the same venue as Pyeongchang Olympics, so he will check out the feel of the ice, the reverberation of the music and things like that. The World Championships in March will determine the number of places for Japan at the Olympics. He said ‘it will be alright if I get first’.

Videos, much thanks to YzRIKO: (1) and (2)

Translated by me;  pics–thanks to fans on twitter.


Today, I spent some time in a part of the Northwest that I don’t often visit: the Olympic mountains. Indeed, I feel now that I must return soon, for they’re an earthly wonder not meant to go long unwitnessed.

Alpine wildflower meadows suddenly fall into deep gulfs of forest and stone. Doe with their fawn gamble by the visitors with measured hesitance, through meadow and tree, making nibbles of their favorite flowery foods like children who wish to sample every kind of sweet at a candy store. The wind is sensed not first by its brush upon your cheek, but by the hum of distant trees dancing in the moving air, which reverberates from the valleys like a great amphitheater. Bulging hills of pine and western red cedar fold over each other, gullies with glacierwater streams forming where the edges of the hills meet.

This is a place of great power and spectacular beauty, which stimulates an intense reflection on ones place in nature, ones need to find a place in nature. It is the great shame of the modern world that not all can experience this each day – for if life had more value than capital, that would be the case. This is why we must return: to feel this earth, and remember that we do belong to it, and in it.

Mornin’, peeps!

Yesterday’s WOD was hard. I hadn’t realized how much I have learned about lifting over the last few years to make myself comfortable. With all these new Olympic lifts, I feel lost again and way out of my element! I’m confused about what everything is until someone shows me again that day. My muscles have always taken a while to remember… :/

But!! Going back today, though sore, and I hope I feel like I get something right today.

Baby steps. Learning curve. Form now, weight later. All that stuff…(plus my impatience ;)


you head to your 10 year high school reunion aka nathan never took you to prom

word count: 3,999

Looking at yourself one final time in the mirror, you decided that was probably the best you were going to do at this point. In fact, you thought, it shouldn’t matter to you anyways. All this was a 10-year high school reunion; most people don’t even show up to the 10-year anymore, do they? You hadn’t really been the best when it came to keeping up with and staying connected with high school friends. You weren’t really sure what most people were doing with their lives now. Well, all of them besides one.

It was hard not to know what Nathan Adrian was up to. He was Bremerton’s golden boy and whenever you mentioned to someone from outside of town where you were from they asked about him. Did you know him? Was he nice? Is he just as good looking in person? It honestly began to tire you after the one-thousandth time. You didn’t like to answer the questions because you tended to be bias when it came to Nathan.

You had known Nathan Adrian since kindergarten, and up until high school he had always stayed very low under everyone’s radar, most people knowing not to invite him anywhere because he likely had swimming things going on. He had gained popularity in high school when he led the swim team to victory for the first time in years. It wasn’t until senior year that you had an actual encounter with Nathan, before it had just been friendly smiles in the hallway or the lending of single sheets of paper in American Lit. No more then “hey can I borrow a piece of paper?” had ever been said until your final year.

In fact you were more than surprised when you walked into your sixth period class in early March and found Nathan standing at the front of the room, hands clenched around a bouquet of roses. It was clear he was nervous and about to ask someone to prom, but it wasn’t until you heard him say your name that you realized it was you he intended to ask. Blushing you took the flowers in your hands while in a semi state of shock and agreed to be his date.

You didn’t particularly know too much about Nathan besides the friendly exchanges and the fact that he was possibly half merman. Having a prom date was something exciting to you, but the barely knowing him made you nervous. What were you supposed to talk about? Would you even have fun? Agree on where to go for dinner? Who would be in your group? However the weeks after the initial ask you began to hold actual conversations with Nathan and even had lunch with him and his swim team friends sometimes. Then the typical prom plans began to fall in place, your dress, his matching tux, dinner reservations, etc. At least that was until the week leading up to prom when Nathan pulled you aside in the hallway to share some news.

He began babbling, talking very fast and you were barely able to keep up with his words until you caught the key message, that he would unable to take you to the dance that Saturday. He had some sort of opportunity to join the U.S. National Team, which he certainly couldn’t pass up even if it meant skipping out on taking you to prom. Of course you were happy for him, but it didn’t make you displace the feeling that prom was suddenly ruined.  You ended up not going, telling your friends that you were fine and never wanted to go to prom in the first place. The next few months until graduation you made sure to avoid Nathan at all costs holding him responsible for missing prom altogether.

Ever since then whenever you’d hear about his success in swimming, as an athlete, or just him in general you would roll your eyes and attempt to change the subject. However tonight you felt as though it was going to be difficult to runaway from him. You had no clue if he was actually going to show up and in the back of your mind you were hoping he was too busy since he had just arrived back to the states.

Shaking your head in thought, you realized how foolish you were being. What happened between you and Nathan was 10 years ago, and odds are he doesn’t even remember. His life had been so fast paced he probably never gave a second thought about his forgotten almost prom date.

Grabbing your bag you head out the door feeling completely scatterbrained and unprepared for what you would be walking into.

Taking a sip of what had to be your fourth cup of punch you look around the gym full of people once again. Full of people probably wasn’t correct, because the gym definitely wasn’t full. You never realized how small the group of people you had graduated with truly was. Not only that but also most of them you had known your entire life, no variety and no changes. You were thankful your college experience wasn’t the same, you didn’t know what you would do if you were stuck once again with the same exact people from Bremerton forever.

You had already been at the high school for around two hours and had chatted with people here and there, but nothing really too interesting. Most people still lived in the Seattle suburb area and had some sort of job that they tried to convey as “really great” and “a dream come true,” but you could easily tell they were stuck and hated it. You could tell because you were in the same spot.

It wasn’t clear to you where exactly you had taken the wrong turn in adult life, but you definitely knew that this wasn’t what you had in mind 10 years ago. At 28 you had a Political Science degree you’d done absolutely nothing with, instead settling for the exciting occupation as receptionist for a dentist office. When the people who you had talked to already at the reunion asked you what you were up to now you felt as though you had to lie. So your life didn’t seem as boring or horrible as there’s also probably was, but you decided to just tell them the truth. After all the next time you would see most of these people again would be in another 10 years, they’d probably forget by then. You just hoped you wouldn’t be doing the same thing in 10 years.

Without a doubt Nathan was clearly the most successful out of your graduating class, actually probably the most successful person to come out of Bremerton period. In the back of your mind you knew that was most likely another reason you had came to resent Nathan after all these years. If only you had stuck with tennis when you were 9, maybe then you’d be some sort of prodigy and hometown hero too.

At this point you were pretty sure that Nathan wasn’t going to be making an appearance, most everyone was here and you couldn’t see him coming in late. This thought calmed you but you couldn’t ignore a feeling of disappointment wave over you. Even though the whole prom thing didn’t work out and you were definitely still upset about it, Nathan was the closest thing you had in high school to a boy actually paying attention to you. Which you couldn’t deny was nice, part of you wanted to see him and show him how much he missed out. Who knows, maybe if you had gone to prom together you’d be Ms. Olympic gold medalist.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, “Hey there.” Turning around your met with a face you have to admit that you don’t recall.

“Oh um hi.” You say hoping the man in front of you won’t figure out you have no idea who he is. There’s no trace of disappoint on his face so you guess that you’re in the clear. He smiles at you brightly, “How are you?”

“I’m good. And uh you?”

He gives you the same smile, “You have no idea who I am, do you?” At that you blush, he didn’t seem offended luckily enough, but nonetheless you felt embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry. I’m kind of terrible with names and remembering things in general.” Once again you feel your cheeks heat up not only from embarrassment but also from how unquestionably attractive he was. You were kicking yourself for not remembering him.

“Ryan Adamson.”

As soon as his name leaves his lips your eyes widen, “Oh my god wow Ryan, right.”

Memories of Ryan from high school immediately coming shooting back to you and you find it hard to believe that Ryan Adamson, the Ryan Adamson from high school was suddenly gorgeous.

He grins, “Glad you remember me now. That would have been embarrassing if you just completely didn’t. Especially since Nathan-” he cuts himself off.

You knew Ryan in high school from those few times you had joined him, Nathan and the rest of the swim team for lunch. Although you hadn’t hung with them a ton, you felt the times you did you got along with them all quite well, especially Ryan.

Curious about what he was about to Nathan you attempt him to continue his thought, “What was that? Especially since Nathan what?”

He shakes his head looking down at the ground a bit, “Nothing. Forget I said anything.” He gives you another smile clearly hoping you’ll drop the subject of what he was about to say about Nathan.

There was silence between the two of you for a moment until you cleared your throat and spoke the major question on your mind, “So where is Nathan? Too big for a small town high school reunion?” You smile a bit to signal to Ryan you’re joking but for the most part you aren’t.

“No actually he should be here soon. I know he had to watch his nephews earlier today so I think he was just waiting for his sister to get back so he could take off. Can’t leave them alone you know.”

You’re so busy at the thought of Nathan with children that you almost miss Ryan mentioning how Nathan was in fact coming to the reunion tonight. You suddenly wanted to take back your slight want of him to show up. You didn’t want to see him and you didn’t want him to see you. You figured that he probably forgot about you, but you really didn’t want to have an interaction with him that indeed verified that theory. You knew that it would hurt you.

“Oh wow, yeah.” Is all you say in response to Ryan and you turn to look at all of your former fellow classmates, some mingling and some dancing in the middle of the gym where a horrible DJ was set up playing “the hits of 2006.”

There’s more silence lingering between the two of you and you begin to feel a sort of tension as though he wants to tell you something, but you decide to shrug it off. “So when was Nathan going to come?” You hear yourself ask.

Ryan gives you a smile, “Soon I think. Why?” You turn away from him, “Just wondering.” Perhaps it would be best if you just left before you risked running into him, or was that a cowardly move?

You hear a commotion coming from the other end of the gym, a large amount of chatter and even some yells coming from those attending the reunion. Ryan gives you a look, “And that would be Nathan.”

Although you’re on the other side of the gym and there’s a good amount of people between the two of you, it’s not hard to miss Nathan since he towers over everyone in the space. You feel a flutter in your stomach and you know right away he’s got you in the palm of his hands.

How pathetic can I be? You wonder to yourself. You’re supposed to be resentful towards him. Not whatever this is…

“Come on.” Ryan says to you stepping forward. Your body tightens up, “No that’s okay. I think I’ll just stay here.” He immediately frowns at you but nods and continues down the gym to where a crowd has begun to form around Nathan. In fact you become one of the only ones not apart of the large mob made up of adults in their late twenties ready to hover the Olympian for the rest of the night till they get their “see I told you I went to school with him” picture for their friends.

You take this as a chance to get another cup of punch. Just as you were going back and forth in your mind for what had to be the hundredth time about whether being at this reunion was a good idea you felt a tap on your shoulder for the second time of the night.

This time you weren’t met with Ryan and his jet-black hair, instead you found yourself staring upwards towards someone who was at least a foot taller than you. Yes, that someone.  

Nathan smiles at you, his eyes crinkling a bit, “Hi.”

You can feel yourself wanting to say something, but for some reason your vocal chords aren’t cooperating and catching up with your brain. It isn’t until a few moments later until you can manage to squeak out your award winning line of “Hey.”

He looks down at his feet as if he’s shy and continues to smile.

Oh god, he’s so cute.

That moment’s all it takes and you yourself break out into a smile unable to contain your emotions.

“How are you?” He asks and you can tell he means it. You had heard that simple phrase many times tonight, but somehow when it comes from his lips you feel as though you want to tell him everything from over these past 10 years. The good, the bad, and the parts you don’t want to tell anyone else.

You hold back, not wanting to scare him away, “Good. And you?”

He leans his head to one side and it’s almost as if he’s nervous about something, but why would someone who swims in front of millions of people get nervous? “Great.”

“So what have you been up to?”

You feel your eyes roll in the back of your head and you want to kick yourself for being so horrible. Of course you know what he had been up to, everyone on the planet knew what he had been up to and if they didn’t, they could very easily Google it.

Nathan chuckles a bit and you can’t help but join him, “Oh this and that. Not much.”

There’s another pause, you’re unsure of what to say because all you can hear and feel is your heart thumping at a thousand miles a minute in your chest.

“You look really great.” He says and all the blood rushes to your cheeks. How could you have ever been mad at him? The time you had spent together in high school was small but you always laughed and had a great time just being with him. Sure, he didn’t end up taking you to prom but so what? He had an opportunity of a lifetime, if you were truly his friend you should have supported him and stuck by his side, not avoid him for the rest of your high school career. At least you hoped you had become friends in that short time, now it was unclear.

“You do too.”

He rubs his hand on the back of his neck, “Do you uh maybe want to dance? I know it’s kind of lame but-”

Cutting him off, you shrug your shoulders playfully and say, “As long as your fan club doesn’t mind,” motioning to the large amount of people who are still watching him from all parts of the gym. Nathan looks back at them and turns to look at you again, “I think they’ll be okay.”

Smiling you nod giving him your final answer in agreement to the dance. He takes your hand in his and you can’t help but wonder if this was how it was supposed to be the whole time. If this was what was supposed to happen in high school but you just didn’t let it.

He leads you to the dance floor where more and more people are starting to crowd and fill in, mostly because they want to be close to their now famous classmate.

The previous song ends and some sort of slow Ne-Yo song takes it place; you can’t help but laugh at how cheesy it was. You were kind of getting the prom moment you never had with Nathan.

He places his hands around your waist and you try your best to get your hands as much on his shoulders as you can, but it’s mostly a lost cause due to his height.

“Sorry for being so freakishly tall.” He says.

“No, no. Don’t worry about it, I like it.” You reply.

He lets out a breath of relief, “Good. You know some people actually used to tease me in high school because of my height?”

You widen your eyes, “What? Really? Point them out to me right now. Are they in this room? I can talk to them if you want, I can be really convincin-“ He cuts you off.

Laughing, he smiles down at you, “It’s okay. It was 10 years ago and I think I’m over it.”

“You think.”

He smiles, but soon his mouth twists into a straight line, “I never really got to say this but I’m sorry about the whole prom thing.”

A couple of hours ago you would have loved to hear these words from his mouth but now they just made you sick. You appreciated it, but you realized that he didn’t really have anything to apologize for.

“No, it’s okay. I was kind of psychotic back then and thought everything revolved around me. Which is why I kind of distanced myself from you after that, I was mad and didn’t understand how important your swimming was.”

Nathan shuts his eyes tightly and opens them, “Yeah… I have to admit that the last month or so before graduation when you stopped talking to me was really hard. I felt like we had become-“

“Such great friends, I know…” You say cutting him off.

“Friends… Right.”

There’s more silence, just the two of you swaying back and forth, his grip getting a little tighter on your waist and you feel him pulling you in closer. He doesn’t say anything about it, but you let yourself be that close to him and place your head on his lower chest. Over the loud music you can barely make out his heart beating in his chest.

Nathan clears his throat and you lift your head looking up once again at him ready to hear whatever it is he’s about to say. Looking into his brown eyes you can tell he’s conflicted if he should hold back what he’s about to say, but he sighs and you hear him mumble something. It’s hard to make out so you apologize and ask him to repeat himself.

He clears his throat once again, “I should have told you this a long time ago. Before I asked you to prom. Probably at the beginning of the year, hell probably in kindergarten…”

You get a bit nervous at his words for what he’s about to reveal, “What is it?”

He takes in a breath, “I’ve liked you forever but I was always to afraid to tell you. I spent practically my whole childhood thinking about what it would be like if you had known. I finally got the courage and just asked you to prom, because I thought it was senior year it was my last chance and I might as well. I should have told you that I had feelings for you because maybe then when I wasn’t able to take you it wouldn’t have been as bad… I don’t know.” He shakes his head, mostly to himself.

You blink a couple of times, “You liked me?”

“You honestly couldn’t tell? I’d have a heart attack every time you walked in the room. Tonight when I saw you I had a heart attack.”

At his words you stop moving along with him to the music and break away from him, taking a step back. He looks at you, wondering what’s wrong expecting you to yell at him for having feelings for you, but you smile.

“Come on.” You say grabbing onto his hand and leading him out of the center of the gym. “Where are we going?” You hear him ask behind you.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

You begin to think you underestimated just how cold it was out, but you find yourself moving closer to Nathan trying to engulf as much of his warmth as you can.

Sharing your secret spot at the docks wasn’t something you had done very often, in fact you couldn’t think of ever doing it with anyone else besides with Nathan now. You were very protective over your space, but for some reason you felt as though you had to show him and share. He had been a little hesitant at first about ditching the reunion, especially since he had just arrived, but he came anyway clearly curious about where you were taking him.

As soon as you got to your spot you could tell he was pleased with his decision, both of you managing to find an extra blanket in the back of your car and laid it out on the dock so you could lay on your backs and look at the night sky.

“I never thought that I would be here with you.” You mumble to him, “I thought you would have forgotten me.”

He moves so he’s on his side facing you, “No. Even if I wanted to, I know I couldn’t.”

You smile at his words and move on your side so your back is pressed up against him, his body keeping you warm from the usual Washington chill. “I couldn’t either.”

His arms find their way around your waist until they’re resting on your lower stomach and you suddenly find it hard to imagine a world where this had never happened before. The silence between the two of you feels comfortable and it feels as though the 10 years between you never happened, as though it ceases to exist, but you know that you can’t completely ignore it. You’re not sure where this is going to go, but you know that you want to know everything about him, about who he is now and what’s going on in his head.

“What’s a conspiracy theory you strongly believe in?” You ask him out of the blue.

You feel him lower his head into the crook of your neck and laugh into it, confused by your question.

“What are you talking about?”

You laugh, “I want to know every little thing about you that I missed or I never knew, and I’d have to say that this is probably the best place to start. You know, might as well get this one out of the way.” You can feel him shake his head, but you know that it’s in a playful way.


“Yes good, keep going.”

You close your eyes and move your hands down to his on your stomach and rub them gently listening to him. You both spend the rest of the night like that, talking about the most ridiculous things and the most serious things. Everything and nothing, making sure that distance of 10 years never happened.

Operation New Life is off to a good start

Step 1 of create a better life is done. I’ve successfully applied for my F2-99 visa and pick it up in 3 weeks. Next step, get a tax number and start looking for clients. I should probably get a website going.

From here it’s build up a client base so I can tender my resignation at the end of November. And then early December it’s look for a new apartment. January officially leave office life behind and focus on continuing to build my editing business and take over the entire entertainment section of Groove.

Then move end of January. Then Olympics.

I feel like 33 and 2018 is going to be my year. The year I finally stick my middle finger up to all the heartache and crap that’s happened the past few years and do all the things I want to do and am meant to do. Start my own business and make my own hours. Travel. Publish my first novel. Hell, maybe 2018 is finally the year I fall in love. At this point, who knows what great things are to come?

Beyond that I have so many things in the immediate future to look forward to. Getting another tattoo next month. I’ve go Jisan and Comic Con. Things are going well with the magazine. I’m close to finishing the book. I have great friends and a kick ass idea for my birthday party. My family is in a good spot.

Finally I feel like I’m on the right track. It feels amazing to see all this work starting to pay off, even if I still have a lot more to go.

do cishet aces ever… go outside

like yall are seriously, genuinely claiming that lesbians and gay men arent oppressed or even discriminated against anymore because of some fucking tv shows????

do yall even know who the vice president is??? or what he wants to do to us???? how much he hates us?????

i mean yall have no idea how much it hurts when you say shit like that. posts like “LGs are so much more privelaged than the rest of the BTQIA+++ community” is really fucking?? damaging???

seeing posts like that literally sent me into a depressive episode

like seriosuly. a handful of characters on a handful of tv shows does not mean oppression is over. please fucking turn off tumblr for a little bit and read the news about homophobia around the world and stop trying to play oppression olympics so u can feel better