Clint is tired of what he thinks is UST between Steve and Bucky and he is going to force them together to save all their sanity. So he bugs Tony until the two of them make cupid arrows. They are tipped in what is basically sex pollen but you know nice friendly sex pollen where it will just help them admit their feelings - it is a totally cool blend of truth serum, endorphin kick, and smells like strawberries, totally cool and harmless (just you know please don’t tell Phil we made this).
Clint debates wearing wings but figures no, too much, and he has to be subtle. Only of course damn Avengers. Every arrow he’s tried to hit Bucky with, the bastard has caught - stupid cool arm and crazy reflexes. He thought about going for Steve, but frankly he wasn’t as much fun to stalk - follow, follow, he wasn’t stalking his friends. The skulking in vents and around corners was something everyone did.
But his stalking (dammit his following) was getting interesting, because even though Bucky wasn’t letting an arrow touch him, he was going interesting places, fun places, and making it a challenge for Clint. He appreciated that. Bucky was running through the city and Clint was chasing him on roofs. And a couple times when Bucky stopped, caught the arrow, and walked away, he had left food for Clint at his spot.
Clint was never going to turn down a breakfast burrito (and sorry Wilson, burritos better than tacos any day).
But now it was Valentine’s and he was getting Bucky some happiness, if only he could find the bastard. Clint stalked (again, not stalking) the usual places and then finally, finally found him.
Dressed up all nice, with flowers, and a cocky grin. Huh, maybe he didn’t need to hit the guy. Maybe he and Steve had finally figured it out.
Only there was Steve his arm around Darcy, and then laughing and waving to Bucky as they went through the door.
Clint hopped down from his perch. “What the hell is he doing with Darcy?”
“Going to a picture show?” Bucky replied.
“He’s supposed to date you!” Clint shouted. “You guys are bloody soulmates if you’d get off your asses.”
“We know that.” Bucky said easily. “But lots of types of soulmates.” he then frowned. “This was you trying to get me with Steve?”
“Yeah, why?” Clint was confused. Why did Bucky look so bummed out.
“I thought it was how you dated.”
“You thought this was us dating?” Clint was stunned.
“Well, you are weird. And crap at dealing with people. So thought this was how you courted.” Bucky shrugged. “Guess I don’t need the reservation. Have a good night Clint.” Bucky started to walk away.
Clint was pretty sure he was wearing Natasha’s pants and the shirt had a hole in it. “Can I go like this or do I need to change?” he asked.
Bucky smiled and gave him the flowers. “You look fine.”
“No I don’t.”
“Okay no, but I don’t care.”
Huh. That was a new thing. But Clint decided to roll with it. He had a Valentine’s date because he stalked someone into thinking they were dating.
Oh god he was Edward Cullen. He needed to die.
Bucky grabbed his hand. “You aren’t a creepy stalker. Relax.”
“How did you know I was thinking that?”
“Lucky guess. Come on, let’s get you some pizza.” Bucky pulled him out of the building, leaving the arrows behind.