olivia-and-fitz-love

Scandal 6x10 - Alternate Reality

Hello world. For the past 29 hours I have been glued to my tv, rewatching this scandal episode that I feel I have memorized verbatim but every time I watch it I see something new or different that I didn’t pick up on from the last rewatch. But my heart is open and filled with love as Shonda dedicated this episode to our star crossed lover, Olivia and Fitz.

Me coming out of my room after remaining in seclusion. I feel lightheaded. 

This episode was fundamental to the core of Scandal and what the story has always been, the evolution of Olivia Pope and her quest for life. This alternate reality did not disappoint me but left me optimistic and thoroughly sedated. For so long we have watched Olivia fall from grace that at times it appears as though we are looking at a stranger, but we are seeing a change, a slight turn on her axis. Bless you Shonda, for this episode. I never doubted the story or the quest to live a open, honest life.

Now. Let us say our Pledge of the Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance to United States of Olitz and to the republic for which is stands. One nation under Shonda indivisible with jam and love for all. Amen

We start the episode off with Olivia, Fitz and Jake in the oval. Fitz is trying to come up with a plan to free Cyrus but Jake is currently attempting to thwart his plan considering it’s something they all want, Mellie to be President. But is that necessarily true though considering Abby told Jake in 602 that she knows he doesn’t want Mellie to win. *hint hint* besides who actually wants to win an election that way and Fitz knows that they want Mellie in the White House for a reason otherwise why kill Vargas. Real Bitch and Penis did not stoop to those lengths just to support their fellow white lady. Nothing about this is right, hence Fitz wearing the light shirt and appeasing to Olivia’s former self about doing the right thing whereas we have Stevie Wonder appeasing to Olivia’s current side hence the dark shirt. A very obvious play of both good and evil, light and dark and of course the love triangle. Stuck between the two men she’s been entangled with for a few years; and her lack substance in her gut Olivia is torn as if doing the right thing will be all that right. Olivia begins to side with Fitz but the second she does Jake attempts to bring them both down about ‘something he knew 3 hours ago’

Originally posted by humorinrecovery


Hoe, how did yo Stevie Wonder ass tell time? Anyways ..ugh Jake brings up Defiance being a good thing and completely ignores Olivia’s obvious discomfort and pain regarding that ordeal that took place 8 years ago. Fitz looks to Olivia for back up but she rebuffs and begins to talk about Huck dying and how many more people have to get hurt, but Fitz isn’t agreeing with Olivia or Jake regarding them doing nothing and before he leaves he tells Olivia and Jake that he needs to know whether they are 'in or out’.

With Fitz out of the office, Jake turns to Olivia and ignores her pain but begins to talk about how life would have been much worse for Fitz had Olivia not the rigged election all the while Olivia’s head is bowed in evident sorrow for all the pain she has caused to Fitz and herself. But before Jake walks out he reminds Olivia that her life would have also been worse too had she not rigged election. Cue the dream

But as Olivia flashbacks to the past, most of her prolific memories are shaped around Fitz. We see the most memorable moments for Olivia, good and bad.

Back on the plane with the original illuminati…I feel nostalgic at the sight of Hollis and that old hag Verna. Ugh. My heart’s feeling all warm and fuzzy. But as we all know in real life Olivia said ’ yes’ but in the alternate reality she says:

 ‘No. We are not fixing the election. Fitz can win. He can do this. He can turn this around. And when asked about them losing Olivia says 'At least we lose with our souls intact.’

 Wow. Olivia believes in Fitz that he can win. But we know how this story ends and it ends with Fitz losing and Olivia being ashamed and heartbroken that she could have won this for Fitz and she chose to let him fall. Mellie makes sure to rub it in Olivia’s face about all she had to say was ’yes’ and so ironic how Olivia has used that same word when she declared her love for Fitz. But anyways, Olivia is feeling the pain and you can see her clearly wondering if she made the right decision at all. Now we know Olivia enjoys carrying the weight and burden but this wasn’t her fault especially not in this world. But. It Hurts nonetheless .

 Olivia is trying to escape and act as if she doesn’t hear Fitz calling her name, but she stops and tells Fitz she wrote him a letter saying she’s sorry for not winning the presidency for him. A letter, Olivia . Really? I understand you are hurt and you would rather do what you have always done, which is run. But don’t you think Fitz is deserving of a goodbye or an answer even one as painful as the truth? But Fitz tells Olivia that she didn’t let him down, and while America didn’t chose him, she can.

Excuse me for a minute.

Okay. I’m back. But barely breathing. Olivia being Olivia bypasses Fitz’s request and tells him that she is going to Washington to help Marcus Walker get a criminal justice bill passed. Puppy eyes and lips quivers couldn’t begin to describe the yearning those two people feel every time they have to part. Fitz wishes Olivia good luck and Olivia wishes Fitz good luck with Mellie. Olivia leaves Fitz dejected and broken hearted . My eyes hurt from the light of their love, and my heart breaks for the star crossed lovers, and my thirst is finally being quenched after such a long olitz drought that I am edematous.


Olivia

Two months later after breaking up with Fitz, Olivia appears to be trying to fix herself by doing what she does best, staying busy working. Abby, Marcus and even Hobo Huck are all at Olivia’s workshop. It’s old, ugly and so very unlike our Olivia yet you can see the joy that she has with owning something that belongs to her and she’s not some boujee D.C. Girl like she is today. She’s humble and appreciative of the hardwork they have put in to create this. Beautiful. That’s pretty refreshing but I will tell you what’s not and that is Olivia dating Leo. Yup I threw up in my mouth at the idea of them….but another parallel to help dig the knife even deeper into olakers heart is the fact that our Olivia did this exact same thing with Jake after Fitz found out about defiance. She went on a date and shared a bit here and there but deep down it doesn’t erase Fitz, in reality or alternate reality, Olivia can’t escape the inevitable that is Fitzgerald Grant. Wherever she goes, he is always with her.

Originally posted by bballinspiration

The only difference about Olivia’s date with Jake and her would be date with Leo is that Fitz showed up for her and stopped her from making a mistake. So you see olakers it wasn’t necessarily Jake that was special it could have been ANYBODY even Leo! And before I hand olakers the final dagger, let me say that Olivia created this alternate world, and not once did she dream of Jake being in it. Olivia wishes she never met Jake, she wishes Fitz would have came to her and stopped her date like he did with Leo.

@dontfrget pic

Freshly defeated, Fitz shows up at Olivia’s apartment ready to ask for her hand in marriage. Unlike our scandal time we’re we see these two people both yearning to be with one another but because of time and circumstance they are always parted. Not in this world. Fitz isn’t going to wait to be with Olivia, he’s ready to be out in the open with her. Fitz showed up for Olivia even in her dream, he came back for her and stood on her doorstep telling her that he’s just a ex presidential candidate asking his campaign manager to love him, and do him the honor of becoming his wife because he’s so desperately in love with her and if she ’loves me half as much as I love you then it was worth the trip’

Originally posted by peaceisthenewhappy

As Fitz professes his love for Olivia, softly in the background their song plays. 'Will You Still love me’ the same song played when Olivia was arrested for releasing Rowan and we watched Olivia silently beg Fitz to still love her in spite of her short comings.

There is a reason why that song was played. Olivia was at her worse at the time and yet she still desperately wanted Fitz to see her and love her even though she was unable to love herself at the moment. Fitz’s is requesting the same of Olivia except much different circumstances. But the message is evident and by the shutting of Olivia’s elevator door just as Fitz had shut the door on them. But in this world, they don’t give up. They Fight. Olivia quickly opens the door and said ‘yes’ faintly with such overwhelming love pouring through her. The proposal is everything and more but again the one word Mellie said earlier comes back, all Olivia has to do is say ’yes’. Something she has failed to do often in her current life, and not to mention Shonda’s subtle mention of her own book. Yes.

@dontfrget  pic

I cannot begin to describe the joy still festering in my heart at the sight of Olivia following her heart instead of listening to her head, the unsurmountable joy radiating from her. Seldom does Olivia make such drastic choices without thinking it over but this time she went full force something she was unable to do in the real world out of fear.

The parallels are uncanny Mellie told Olivia in the beginning she just had to say 'one word’ and like in our realm of scandal when Olivia said ’yes’ to being Fitz’s mistress and effectively ending Fitz’s and Mellie’s marriage. Olivia done did it again, by saying yes to Fitz’s proposal. And we see Mellie lurking in the shadows at their wedding but she’s clearly over Fitz and not jealous of Olivia.
I’m sorry my pettiness is flaring up. But Olivia stays ruining Mellie’s life by getting her own life. You go girl with yo natural hair and backpack wearing self.

Now, back to Olivia and Fitz screwing the world so they could make their own.

@bananadome pic

Me watching olitz get it on. The whimpers. The moans. The eye contact.

Reunited and it feels so good. Ladies and Gentleman Fitz and Olivia are floating in space. Olivia done magically grabbed them keys from her purse and opened the door and left everything else behind. Olivia literally left her baggage behind but does that actually mean she left it behind? Yes and no. More on that later

Can I just say that I love that Olivia dreamt of all this. She dreamt of Fitz showing up and being her beacon of light and good. While Olivia has Huck, it doesn’t replace the hearts hunger for love and affection that can’t be suppressed. When the heart speaks it speaks. The attention to detail is a thing of beauty, Shonda truly out did herself with this episode, perfectly layering Olivia and Fitz’s relationship, once again reminding the audience and Olivia and Fitz that their love is real. For so long we have seen Olivia yearning but never actually tasting the sweetness that life could bring, the joy she will find in being ordinary, the fulfillment of reaching her goals without losing herself and the one she loves. This is the tender epilogue that these two souls deserves. They have suffered enough at the hands of others and themselves, it is time for Olivia to start claiming her life and taking it in her own hands.


The wedding

@dontfrget

We see Olivia in the dressing room with just Huck as they get ready for the wedding and Huck cut his hair and trimmed his beard for Olivia’s wedding.(don’t cry. Don’t cry, okay cry) you can see the wedding jitters plastered  on both of their faces but Olivia walks to Huck and gets him ready for their big day.

@dontfrget

As they walk another olitz’s greatest hit plays in the background. ‘You’re All I Need To Get By.’ This song was a turning point for Olivia and Fitz’s relationship, were Fitz finally earned Olivia and Olivia was accepting of being earned. The crowd is around her but all she can see is him standing there waiting for her. Olivia doesn’t appear frightened or scared about getting married but joyfully moved at the man waiting for her to cross over on the other side. Yes, he is all she needs to get by.

They exchange vows with their eyes remaining focused only on each other. With the chapel filled with roses we have set the scene to their very own rose garden. The church is filled with gold, roses, and lights that you get this feeling that this must be heaven.

@dontfrget

Rowan’s clearly not happy with there union even in the alternate reality just as much as it displeases him in reality. The fact that Olivia chose love over power is an enlightening moment. Olivia is giving herself the life she genuinely wants and is becoming the person she feels she could be with Fitz by her side with Rowan staying in the shadows. Who would have known how much Olivia would have changed had Rowan never influenced her.

A year into their marriage and Oliva and Fitz are still happy and very much in love; with Oliva wearing Fitz’s navy shirt these two are still newlyweds with Olivia keeping count of how many times Fitz brings her to climax. I know Olivia took that navy shirt with her when she left the White House, there’s no possible way she could have left without taking a piece of him with her.

Even though Olivia and Fitz are married; Olivia still has her commitment issues as evident by her lack of compromise on moving and Fitz being lazy with his lack of effort in everything; but one thing is certain which is Olivia still feels the calling to be more, to create a name for herself, to be somebody whereas Fitz is looking to be a nobody.

Olivia wants to get this bill passed but because Fitz isn’t President in this realm and she thereby has no real power and knows any of the Washington elite Olivia is once again powerless, a feeling she hates to her core especially when she has to watch her husband with all the power vested in him be a reporter instead of a leader that she knew he could have been had she rigged the election. Oh Olivia and Fitz.

Originally posted by vhsnetwork

We don’t need to see Mellie and Cyrus and their pretense marriage and I began to ask questions about how Jake met Fitz and why now and most importantly I bet Rowan has him following Olivia and Fitz but I’m not going to do that because it’s not real and Olivia obviously doesn’t care about jake or even find him to be even equivalent to a boyfriend or stranger. So I shall keep it moving. Jake’s involvement is minimal to none and that’s why this episode is perfect.

 Ironic that Olivia has made a point to separate herself from the people she’s been the closest too and the people who tend to bring out the worse in her (Rowan, Mellie, Jake) versus the people she’s been the most distant with yet represent her moral values ( Marcus, Abby, Fitz) oh Shonda the subtle messages you are delivering in this episode has left me completely and utterly flabbergasted. Even subconsciously Olivia is aware that associating with her dad and Jake bring out the worse in her, which is why this episode is refreshing to see, Olivia is aware of the moves being played around her  but in this realm because she is not morally compromised and is wearing the white hat she associates herself with the people who do as well. Olivia is basking in the glow of light and love my friends.

Olivia with Marcus…where’s Harrison! Okay. Anyways. Olivia finds OPA and she buys it without Fitz knowing. Now, I’m not saying Olivia needs Fitz’s approval but in a marriage their is this thing called respect and communication something even in this realm Olivia and Fitz still lack. You talk with your spouse, you communicate your plans and desires with your spouse and not leave them flying in the wind. Fitz made sure to make note that Olivia wasn’t okay with buying a house but totally okay with  buying OPA. Different reality but still the same damn olitz. Even married Olivia still suffers from commitment issues and taking the next step toward the unknown.

Sidenote: can I just say that I think it’s really cute how excited Olivia is to be in the oval versus now. Our Olivia walks around the oval like she owns the place and she partially does but this Olivia is able to appreciate it in a way our Olivia never has. And Olivia taking a selfie with JFK’s poster is the cutest thing ever but unfortunately as her and Marcus wait and wait for the President they quickly see that it was a mishap and they are never granted entry into the oval. Such a sour yet profound moment for Olivia. She wants power, she wants to make a difference but she is tied.

Upset and dejected Olivia comes home to see Fitz wasting away his potential with a glass of scotch. Oh this is going to hurt, the two begin to talk around one another like Olivia normally does when she doesn’t want to fight but ends up going for the gutter…*cough 509* …*cough breakup scene* Olivia and Fitz are having the same fight they had during the breakup, Fitz being selfished, Olivia constantly hiding, and the unforgettable blows under the belt they exchange.

Olivia references the ’big dog’ again, how she looks at Fitz and she doesn’t recognize him anymore but Fitz can’t live with the fact that he failed Olivia not Olivia failing him. Fitz drinking this much is never a good sign. The thing about Olivia and Fitz is that when things are good they are great but when it’s bad; it’s bad. Fitz fills his glass of scotch while asking Olivia if she’s screwing Marcus since he knows it’s not him. Olivia fires back by telling Fitz he never had a chance of winning and that he was ’unelectable. Grant for the people? Pathetic.’

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Always one for perfect timing; Olivia found that after insulting her husband she should then confess that the reason they are miserable is because she opted not to fix the election  and she is the only person who could have given him the presidency.

Originally posted by fuckyeahdragrace

I’m not sure what Olivia was thinking telling Fitz this now, oh I know it’s called self sabotage something Olivia does frequently and the most recent being after her abortion. She creates these near impossible situations to come out unscathed just with the hopes of being able to walk away from it all. Olivia plants these moments of destruction because it is much easier to be the one leaving versus being the one left. Fitz tells Olivia she should have rigged the election and Olivia is shocked at hearing Fitz say those words but she tells him “you wouldn’t have want to win that way.” Fitz disagrees and Olivia tells him that defiance would have destroyed them but it seems that they have done that already with Fitz’s final words being ’ at least I would have been President.’ Won’t lie I was pretty nervous at this point. This was the 509 fight all over again and I found myself having flashbacks and ptsd of that unforgettable episode.

Five months later

Olivia and Fitz are still together but are they really? Everything about them is cold and distant. Big sigh and deep breath.  

Instead of focusing on politics Fitz is now interviewing Lindsey aka Quinn aka the  bachelorette. The idea of having to lower himself to such standards and with Olivia’s words echoing in his head about being pathetic. Yeah. This is bad. And with Olivia’s Bill headed to the floor she is gaining the power without the help of the White House, showing that it is possible to have power and not lose your soul but one part still remains, will she and Fitz get through this together? And with Abby handing Olivia her divorce papers. The chances of them coming out of this together are slim.

Olivia isn’t playing games, she is getting her life and leaving Fitz behind. It is safe to say that one way or another Olivia was going to make a name for herself but the thing is that being on the top alone isn’t all that fun when you don’t have anybody to share it with, welcome Abby. Abby is forever Olivia’s voice of reason and truth(4x10)  and it still saddens me how low Olivia stooped with slapping Abby and treating her the way she did when she clearly holds her to such high esteem. Olivia brings up Abby and David being happily married, but Abby tells Olivia that she never gave Fitz a chance, and she honestly never has. Whenever Fitz falls from her ridiculously high pedestal instead of lowering the legs and waiting for him to get back up she runs or makes excuses as to why they will never work. Before leaving, Abby reminds Olivia why she is still living in her apartment. Woah.  In their current realm Fitz didn’t ask Olivia to move in to the White House but just took it upon himself, whereas this Fitz asked and pleaded and Olivia opted to stay put arguing that it was too big and cost too much. In both realities Olivia always had one foot out the door, she never gave them a chance.

 Olivia has some resentment over losing the election and having to watch Fitz chose being a celebrity over being a hero, for chosing that lifestyle over her and their shared ideas and politics that were so fundamental to who they were and who they strived to be. Regardless of time or the exact definition of their relationship, Olivia and Fitz always seem to connect through politics and the ideals they envisioned. ( ex. Brandon Bill) their relationship was at one of its most tumultuous moments with Fitz going to war to bring Olivia back. It was that bill that connected them once again and Olivia was remind of the man she voted for. It must be hard a pill to swallow for Olivia and Fitz as they move in perpendicular roads . Fitz needs his ass kicked that’s for sure but stick around Olivia to receive your reward otherwise someone else will. * cough Angela* *cough Quinn*

Quinn came into Fitz’s trailer to sleep with him and all I kept thinking was ‘don’t do this Fitz’. Don’t repeat Amanda Tanner cause this time you will actually be the father and Quinn would put you on child support before your pants drop. But Fitz and Quinn kiss and soon we find Quinn on her knees…yup…Amanda tanner style. The camera pans to Fitz looking at himself in the mirror as he attempts to drink his pain away but it doesn’t work and he sends Quinn away but somewhat sobered he sees his reflection in the mirror again and this time it’s stick. It’s a chilling sight to see but a much needed moment of reflection as he looks at the stranger staring back at him.


Mellie and Cyrus staged marriage comes to a climax where Mellie once again finds herself on the losing end, having been betrayed by Cyrus and Rowan who I’m ignoring throughout this episode. Mellie having been deflated goes to OPA to meet Olivia and tell her once in for all that she was right about defiance and she hates admitting that Olivia was right about defiance destroying Fitz. The parelles and tone of this monologue. Mellie confessed that she did what she thought she had to do in order to win and now she is trapped and being controlled by Rowan and Cyrus the same way Olivia is being controlled by Rowan in our current scandal. Agreeing to defiance, Olivia did what she deemed necessarily but now she is the one trapped. One of the good things that came out of not committing voter fraud was saving not only her soul but Fitz’s soul which is ultimately what hurted Olivia the most about Defiance. Hurting Fitz hurts Olivia.

Discussing Sally’s husband’s extra martial affair with James and the ’life of pretending’ On the air Fitz stops mid sentence and walks away. Fitz had been pretending for so long in our scandal realm that he forgot at one time what it meant to actually feel. Remember, pretending is real. Fitz walking off the set is setting the tone that he no longer wants to pretend, he’s ready.

Originally posted by bobs--burgers--flipping

Fitz comes home to a clearly pondering Olivia. Immediately Fitz tells Olivia the truth that he didn’t want the election, that he never wanted anything in life until he meet her. Cue the Olitz anthem ’the light ’. I just want to reiterate that Fitz has said this before, Rowan even acknowledge Fitz being a spoiled rich white boy who never worked for anything but found Olivia and was suddenly ready to be a man. This is true. Olivia showed Fitz the man he could be, the man he aspired to become with her by his side. While Olivia helped Fitz turn into a man, Fitz gave Olivia the freedom to love, and she does.

Fitz’s monologue is a thing of beauty but this wasn’t just entirely Fitz talking. This was Olivia. Fitz said everything Olivia has wanted to say but could never bring herself to speak aloud.

“Saying no to defiance was the right choice. I know that now. You tried to give me freedom. You tried to give me the chance to find happiness and I squandered it. That was on me. Only me. That’s why I’m sorry. I hadn’t  recognized it. I didn’t understand it.  I wasn’t thinking. It took me far too long to realize …. I have things to figure out. I have work, a lot of work to due; if there’re any hope of becoming the man I know I can be. The man you deserve. I still want you Olivia, if you’ll still have me.”

Olivia hands Fitz papers and Fitz timidly opens them expecting it to be divorce papers but it’s actually an ad of their soon to be Georgetown complex. Fitz picked Vermont for them and Olivia picked Georgetown. You see, unlike 509 where they broke up and went their separate ways, here in this world Olivia is claiming her life and ready to put forth the work and work towards creating a better life for her and Fitz, the life they deserve. In this world instead of fighting each other they hope to fight for one another. There is something unequivocally satisfying at watching Olivia finally seeing the life and light she’s been so afraid to have and to finally know now that it’s possible. Olivia doesn’t have to sell her soul for power and sacrifice love in order to be victorious. Olivia can claim the life she wants, if she is willing to fight for it.

Now that Olivia has found the key, she comes back from her dream with the biggest smile on her face as she once again leaves her baggage behind to find Fitz but this time I think the baggage might stay away. Olivia walking out the oval and leaving behind her pursue and coat and other possessions signifies this significant change inside her, now all of her worldly possessions me nothing to her without him by her side. The power, the money, the jewels are all an illusion that kept her from seeing the truth. Love. This episode is only about love. Olivia has denied herself this amazing love for so long and it seems that it is just now hitting her what it truly means. Love comes with setbacks and downfalls, you won’t always be happy but at least you know you have someone to fall back on if you fall. 

  But as Olivia walks through the corridor, she’s not exactly walking to Fitz but she’s running to him with such joy and vigor at what her life seems to have foretold. The mood is infectious and I feel we all have found ourselves rooting for Olivia and her pursuit of happiness as she runs to the balcony to find Fitz alone and at the same spot where she last confessed her love and desire to start a real relationship with him (4x22) . The balcony is a significant monument to Olivia and Fitz, it was here that Olivia came to Fitz after she removed her father (temporarily) from her life to create a new one with Fitz. As the camera pans on Olivia; we see her staring adoringly at Fitz with those little specks of light in her eyes. With this new found glow and light it is obvious that Olivia is feeling this extraordinary surge of love for Fitz and from Fitz. My God Olivia is in love and it feels as though she is just now realizing just how profound her love for him and the possibility of them is. Turning to Fitz she smiles at him happily as she tells him “I’m in.”  And she’s not just referring to Cyrus being exonerated but she’s ’in’ with him. Olivia is ’in’ her right frame of mind, she’s ’in’ love with Fitz, and she’s ’in’ this to win it. Olivia Pope is ’in’. I do not see Olivia making a complete 360 overnight but this is promising episode leading to a more satisfying ending.

For the first time in quite some time Olivia felt a tangible sensation she swore she lost long ago.

Hope.

Scandal Season 6 Finale, My thoughts

*Clears throat* Hello Family and Friends of the deceased, we are gathered here today to lay rest to our dear Sister and Friend Olivia Carolyn Pope. *All around the church sniffles, weeping and sorrow filled cries could be heard* It saddens me to be up here but let’s remember the good things Sis Olivia did and who she was before she died and let Rowanka live.
(Rowanka is the name Katrinapavela gave Olivia when she goes all Rowan on us and I liked it.)
☝🏽Yes I just had a funeral for Olivia. ☝🏽Yes shit got real last night. ☝🏽Yes I got emotional AF last night, I think I got teary eyed on 3 different scenes. I’m not gonna do a scene by scene of the Finale , I’m gonna speak on the Characters, in no specific order. Honestly this was a good ass season finale and I really liked it 🙃except 1 specific thing happened and it ruined the whole episode for me. Yes that’s sort of a contradiction but I 👏🏽said 👏🏽what 👏🏽I 👏🏽said 👏🏽. This episode literally hurt my feelings and it’s nothing new cuz it’s Scandal they always hurting feelings 😭😭 damn you Shonda! 🤔TBH I would have been ok with ending Scandal with Fitz presidency I honestly don’t wanna see anyone else as president 🙎🏽🖕🏽🙄 but whatever I’ll get over it, still not jumping on Mellie’s bandwagon
Ok let me start before I get dramatic!

Abby and Quinn: They finally made up and I’m glad. Abby literally has no one but Olivia and OPA she wasn’t going anywhere but back home to OPA! Quinn is pregnant and Abby is gonna help her raise her baby , it was real cute when Abby said “Over a cliff.” 🤗 ☝🏽Now let me just say Quinn kinda got on my nerves because this ho thought she was gone run away to live a normal life without telling Charlie she was pregnant! Bitch you have no right to do that, it’s his baby just as much as it’s yours and you dumb if you don’t think this SPY could find yo ass! Let’s not forget Charlie was a top dog at B613! And she thought she couldn’t work at OPA because she was going to be a mom🙄🤷🏽‍♀️ GUHHHH Women all around the world been doing this! Women make boss moves even as Moms I was like who tf wrote this 🙃Women work and still be great Moms we don’t need that bs narrative out there But thankfully she came to her senses!

Huck: Wanted to go with Olivia. 😭😢 I told yal Loyalty is a man named Huck. But she told him she needed him at OPA and that she would be fine.

Mellie: Continued to show that she was a white privileged woman 🙄 ok so when did Mellie say she wanted the White House all her life? Because what I remember was her saying some about being the wife or some shit but anyway it was a lie. They tryna push a new narrative on Mellie and I’m sorry but it’s to late. Mellie ain’t worked for shit and that’s just that! Olivia and Cyrus about to run D.C. and Mellie whose the puppet President now? 🤦🏽‍♀️Yal her first act as president she signed some papers that she did not even read! 😶 and you thought I was gone be on board with this fuckery? 🗣ISSA NO.

Cyrus Rutherford Beene: ☕️🐸Pulled off the finesse of the Century. 🤓Brains of the illuminate. It was Cyrus Motherfuckin Beene! Way back when, I knew it was Cyrus because I kept saying he wanted to be President but I got distracted by Ponytail and Peus and I was like well maybe it’s a new bad person coming but nope! It was Cyrus sneaky ass 😂

Luna 🕷black 🕸widow Vargas: 😎 Head illuminate but still a #2. ☝🏽Oooooweee Homegirl nobody fucks over Olivia and get away with it. Olivia gave her a pill to peaceful go meet her husband in the afterlife 😬 yikes. I tweeted and said Luna Vargas was in with the illuminate, and I said it because she jumped the bandwagon to quick! How you go from saying Mellie didn’t win , your husband did to Yes I’ll be your Vice President 🙅🏽 nope ain fall for it! I knew she was in on I just didn’t know she was actually the head! Yea Cyrus was the brains but Luna was the head! Luna teaching us to kill husbands 😝

How to make an illuminate: So Cyrus gets into Luna head , Luna hires Marie Wallace to kill her husband, Marie Wallace hires Ponytail aka Samantha bka Gertrude and Peus to do the job. From what I gathered nobody knew about Marie Wallace actually being Maya Pope because there is no way she would have let them threaten Olivia at all. When Maya found out what was going on she came to town to rectify shit! I love how unapologetically black Maya is! From that powerful ass monologue to actually being there to save Olivia, Maya proved she is the better Pope parent.😌 She truly loves Olivia and she forgave her for choking her and everything because she knows that she caused Olivia some damage growing up motherless. Maya even told Eli you can’t half ass raise Olivia and think she gone come out whole 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
☝🏽hunny Maya had time and she was right the entire episode she was right! When she got captured so easily I knew Maya was innocent there’s no way she would have been that easy to find!

Maya Pope aka Marie Wallace bka The baddest bitch: Maya’s monologue was the gospel truth and it was foreshadow for Olivia. Maya really did come back in town to save Olivia 🤗 and yal when Maya started singing those old negro spirituals I hollered! I told yal she’s unapologetically black! “So much for black girl magic” “girl bye, I’m ya momma ain no fooling me” some of her lines from last night. I would rewatch the episode so I could give yal what she actually said in her monologue but I’m still a lil sensitive 😢 forgive me. But anyway she talked about how she and other black women and black mothers are the backbone and stepping stole for everybody, how we always saving everybody but whose saving us? About how Black Women do everything only to have it taken away by a white girl with bamboo earrings 😩🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 yaaasssaauhsabalobooshhhh! 🗣Maya you better speak that word, let him use you sis, go AWF, go AWF! 🙌🏽 I told yal, Maya 👏🏽had 👏🏽time 👏🏽 she read Everybody to the filth hunny! (And now that I’m thinking about it what other show is going to do this when Scandal goes off 😔. Read America and throw shit in there faces, we still out here facing issues that need to be addressed through television!) but anyway Maya came to D.C. and shook the table 😎

Eli: Fragile masculinity couldn’t accept that maybe Maya was right, almost killed her 😤 but let me also say this he showed Fitz some respect in this episode. He waited until Fitz was in the room to do anything, he let Fitz make the calls and throw shots and he even went to Fitz and told him that Olivia needs him to balance her out. 😭 yal! Wait a minute 😭 do you know what just happened? Eli…Rowan went to Fitz and told him that his daughter is getting to powerful and she needed Fitz to balance her out 😯 but Eli Isn’t this your dream? For Olivia to be the most powerful in the room? Clearly he sees that he was wrong and he tried to nip it but in reality he set off a chain of events.

Fitz: Was about to give up his life to save Olivia. Fitz signed an order to reinstate b613 so he could save Olivia 😰 yal my stomach dropped and my eyes started to water. B613 is not for Fitz… Eli told him that he would be perfect for running it because Fitz is a good man and he could do better. 🗣fuck that! No! I was literally shaking because we all know and the horrors of b613 I could not imagine my baby Fitzgerald doing this devil work. He deserves peace and happiness, Fitz would have lost his soul. The evil things you have to do and become *sighs* Which brings me to ….

Olivia: 😔 I cried, and I didn’t even know I was crying until I felt my eyes burn. I was so distraught, disappointed and hurt. As soon as Fitz left that darkness took over and her light was not there to counter/balance it. And to be honest 🤔 it was Maya fault lowkey. She told Olivia “Go take back your baby(the White House) and Olivia was about to disagree when Maya said “You half me and half yo crazy father can’t nobody win against you” Yal the wheels started turning in her head 😒 next thing we know she giving Mellie dumb ass papers to sign but we all knew what those papers were ughhhhh Not my Olivia. Yal that shook me up! Because the same reasons I didn’t want Fitz to do it I damn sho didn’t want Olivia to do it. It hurt my feelings and I’m still trying to process but yal know me I had to sleep on it and come back to it. I get it. Olivia is on a power trip and she has to get it out her system. And this is it, being command of B613. I should have seen it coming honestly from her saying “You don’t take Olivia Pope, Olivia Pope takes you.” To Maya’s monologue about how black women save everybody. And that’s the exact reason why Olivia did it, to save Fitz(she told Rowan “You’re not gonna have a hold on Fitz.”) and the republic and to have power. She hates feeling powerless and when Luna Vargas damn near took the oval from her well it pushed her 😔 so yea that’s the reason why I didn’t like the finale because Liv became command 😕.
Olivia always thinks it’s her responsibility to save everyone 😤 but it’s fuckin not! 🤦🏽‍♀️*tries to collect myself * Black Women always gotta be captain save -a-hoe! Like ya momma said “whose gonna save you?”
And let me just say Maya told Olivia to get her big head ass out the way when she was tryna shoot Luna but at the time we didn’t know Luna was bad 😂😂☝🏽😩 black Moms always gotta crack a joke no matter what the situation 😝😂😂

My Precious OTP Olitz: We had 4 Olitz scenes 😍😍🤗
1.He was concerned and her wellbeing because it was her mother who was the “terrorist” even in the mist of all that was going on, he took time to ask how she was feeling. This is a man who knows how to care for his woman 🤗 *swoons*
2.Get. Over. Here: Olivia went against his wishes and released her mom, he went to his room and she’s but ass naked ready to give it to him. He starts going off on her and she like no fuck that lets fuck!
Olivia: Get. Over. Here.
Fitz: you are very bossy
Olivia: and you love it
Fitz: *takes off shoes and jumps on bed on top of her.
Lmao Yal Fitz looked like such a white man when he said “you are very bossy” it was so funny I couldn’t do nun but laugh! 🤔 for a 56 soon to be 57 year old man the way he jumped on top of her tho 😝 sheesh Tony let me breathe!
3.You saved me: I told Yal Fitz almost became command but Olivia went to him and was like I was going to ask you to stay with me but not like this. She let him know that B613 would ruin him and she couldn’t stand by and watch him become her father…. so of course he listens, he always listens to her so at this point he’s getting ready to leave but he’s with her. And he lets her know he cancelled the order and he can’t stay because he has to work on his foundation. She plays it cool because well she didn’t wanna show emotions, her back was turned away so he couldn’t see her face but she was literally crying out for this man to stay and be her light and save her from herself. She wanted him to save her! He says goodbye without a hug or a kiss
4.It was an honor Mr. President: literally as he’s walking towards the plane “Mr.President” yal I screamed I was like yes yes girl go 👏🏽 get 👏🏽 your 👏🏽 man 👏🏽 she walked then ran to him and they kissed and I bullshit you not I thought she was getting on that plane and going to Vermont 😭😭 ik ik Ima damn fool!
They kissing and paparazzi taking pictures!
Fitz: the cameras
Olivia: I don’t care
Soft smiles and more kissing.
Olivia: it’s been an honor Mr.President
Fitz: the honor was all mine.
Yep I cried again. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 beautiful simply beautiful. She ran in the light to the arms of the man she has loved for in the dark, out in the open in front of everybody. She knew the world was watching and finally after all this time she didn’t care! She freely and openly showed her affection and it was beautiful. I know I make a big deal out of it when it’s Olivia showing affection because it is a big deal. She’s choosing for herself and being honest with herself in those moments. So yes I clap and scream loudly in Olitz when Olivia does things on her own accord 😘 that’s Bae and she deserves to grasp love with her own hands.

Predictions: 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🙎🏽💆🏽
About season 7 I honestly don’t even know what to expect well let me say half except. Because I do know a few things: Olivia is going to do some developing(Good and Bad), Fitz is going to save her and I do believe OPA will as well. Abby going back to OPA, she had power, it corrupted her and she left it behind. Quinn being pregnant: she is going to have everything Olivia thinks she couldn’t have love-family(baby)-power. Olivia will see firsthand from these examples and on top of that Huck and Fitz gone be on her ass once they find out she lost her mind. Olivia is stubborn it’s not gone happen overnight but they will save her. They gone have to convince her she needs saving first. Mellie and Cyrus gone stab Olivia in the back. Cyrus gone stab Mellie in the back. Olivia- Cyrus- Mellie all in positions of power is not gone be a walk in the park , it’s going to be a power struggle frfr, and a little blood gone get on everybody’s hands! OPA gone thrive and I honestly hope everyone gets a good ending they deserve it. After Fitz save Liv, I want Olitz together and we get at least 2 or 3 happy episodes 😩 it ain’t to much to ask after this roller coaster we been on since 101! But anywhooo lemme leave on a good note:
🗣 Olitz ain’t dead! 😏😌 we just begun.

Olitz love scene

I really like this Olitz love scene. It was different. To me it was different because u finally get to see Olivia and Fitz just b themselves b free make love to each other like a passionate loving couple would. I love the touches the laughter the kisses. It was just Beautiful to see Olivia b free. To understand and love Fitz back. I love the way she touched and kissed him n this love scene. To me this love scene was abt Olivia truly embracing loving Fitz knowing this is the man she loves. She knows it. Just a,all around beautiful scene

A couple of things abt Olivia Fitz and Olitz

First most pll me included want to see Olitz have many different conversations abt sex contraceptive their feelings well we will never get those discussions. Why because it isn’t n Shonda Rhimes to write those deep conversation. Unlike many of our great Olitz fanfic writers she doesn’t have depths the know how r knowledge of how relationship work to do it. This is the best u going to get
Everyone knows I have been the biggest critic of Olivia Pope and her love for my beloved Fitz. Y'all know that my dude. I can say this. Olivia Pope does love Fitz the only way she knows how. I have to remember Olivia has never seen healthy loving relationship. But she does love him. Olivia knows that Fitz love is the only thing from keeping ber from going over to the darkside. He is her light. She knows his love is strong steadfast and unconditional and she counts on it. Olivia Pope only knows how to express herself with sex. And that how she shows Fitz she loves him. I think for Olivia with Jake it was sex just sex and Fitz it is love her true love.
With Olivia Pope we want to see her defeat her demons we want to see her get these toxic ppl like Rowan Jake Mellie out her life and see them for who they r two abusers and a user but Shonda will never write that this is the best we will get from the character of Olivia Pope

scandal 6x12 sneak peek

people just need to chiiiiiiiill like they’re so quick to twist the story to their advantage! now they’re saying that kiss is giving them major 509 feelings ??! that he only does it to show Rowan that Olivia ows him for sparing him…please just stop! Of course Fitz is being petty and he has a right to be! and Olivia knows it! this has nothing to do with 509 but still people need to make Fitz look like the bad immature and manipulative guy.

Olivia freaking sat in the Oval Office and had a whole day dream about her and Fitz’s life together. She dreamt up a proposal a wedding a fight and a make up. Then in the next episode Olivia realized that Fitz still loves her as much as she loves him and decided to go with her heart and go back to the love of her life… Fitz!

I don’t know what clearer proof is needed ..? 

Olitzlives deal with it

youtube

Olivia & Fitz (Olitz) ~ “EPIC LOVE”… music video

This Video gives me OLITZ Life…  Last half of this is smoking 🔥! If Only the TITAN had a Heart & would put them back together!

Source: Katrina Bill YouTube

Destruction

Jensen x Reader 

Summary : Jensen and the reader are torn between what is right and what they feel. Loving each other so deeply, they become toxic to one another. Love is devastating, painful, and yet the most beautiful thing there is in life. But, is the love of two people worth causing such destruction? 

Inspired by this Video <3

A/N : I like angst. And yes, I know cheating is bad. But it’s a story. Not real! 

Based off Olivia and Fitz Relationship because i love them lol. 

Warning(s): Language. Slight smut. ANGST. 

Tagging : @bovaria @justanotherdeangirl25 @cassgracie @winchester-writes @aprofoundbondwithdean @chris-evans-imagines @soaringeag1e @hernameiswhatt @blacktithe7 @daydreamingintheimpala @paigeinastory @faith-in-dean 


Every story you read about love, you had always envisioned it to be peaceful. To give you a sense of warmth and security. Not once had it ever talked about the shear pain it can cause. About how agonizing, and difficult, and devastating it could be. 

Until you met him. 

Until you walked on to set, and you gazed into those alluring, emerald green eyes. Until you heard the waves of his voice lingering in your ears. Until you felt the soft touches of his hands, tracing every inch of you. Until you tasted him on your tongue. 

And for that, you regretted ever laying your eyes on him. 

Jensen was everything a man should be. He was tall, built, with a beautiful soul who captivated everyone wherever he went. You couldn’t help but admire him. You couldn’t help but fall in love. 

The attraction was not only one sided. Since the very moment you walked up to your mark, a nervous smile playing on your lips. He was hooked. 

It was innocent in the beginning. Only small chats, and quick laughters. Then it turned into long nights, in your trailer. Texting each other, spending almost every possible minute you could. 

You reminded him of what it felt like to live again. You showed him how important it was to enjoy the little things life had to offer. Just being near you, Jensen felt whole. He felt invincible, like he could do anything. 

A love like that was intoxicating. It lured you back into the depths of all the secrets, and masked up the lies you both told. It drowned you so far in to each other, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t dare move without feeling like you were being ripped apart. 

A love so destructive, you needed more. 


Jensen held you close to him. Your head against his chest, as your hands intertwined. The room was silent, shadows hindering the walls from the moon peeking through the blinds. 

Both your breathing falling in sync. 

“I love you.” His voice was low. 

Without a word, you looked up and met his gaze. A soft smile forming on your lips. You didn’t want to ruin this very moment. Being in his arms, molding your naked body with his. Terrified to even breathe, because you didn’t want to fall back in to reality. 

But timing was never in your favor. 

His phone rang, and immediately your body tensed. 

Jensen ignored the call. Not once removing his eyes off you. Having you there, in his arms, was having the whole world in his embrace. You were everything, his light, his moon, his stars. All the cliche things you can think of, you were it. 

“I know this is cheesy and whatever but,” He paused, gently rubbing his thumb against your cheek. “I honestly believe you are my soulmate.” He whispered. 

You felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, as heat began to radiate off of you. “No chick flick moments.” You chuckled. 

He dramatically rolled his eyes, soft laughter escaping him. “God, you’re such a fangirl.” 

“Hell yea I am.” You muttered. “I’ve been a fan of the show since the beginning. Also helps that one of the brothers is hot.” 

“Aw thanks ba-”

“I was talking about Sam.” You lied. 

He cocked a brow up, a flashed a smirk. “Oh is that so?” He exhaled. In that moment, he turned and hovered over you. Trapping you under the weight of his body. He had such a cynical expression, as if he were planning something evil. 

“Take it back.” He grunted. 

You lightly bit on your lower lip, shaking your head. “No.” 

Jensen stared at you for a moment, until without giving you any warning, he pressed his fingers into your sides and began to tickle you. Immediately, you let out squeals, trying to squirm out of his grasp. 

He continued for just a second longer, until his phone broke the fun. 

A slight discomfort formed in your stomach, as you felt him slowly pull away from. you and reach for his phone. The look on his face, the shear guilt plastering in his features. You knew exactly who it was. 

“Are you going to answer it?” You breathed. 

He shook his head. 

As much as you wanted to take the phone from his hand and toss it out of the window, you knew it wasnt right. “J, answer it. It could be important.” 

Jensen took in a deep long breath, gripping his phone tight until he lifted it up to his ear. His stomach churning by the second. “Hey Dee.” 

There it was, the slight ache forming in your chest as you laid there, studying his silhouette. 

“Wait, what?” He exhaled. “Are you serious?” 

His lips twitched into a small smile, but fell before it could fully form. 

“I’ll be home in a week.” He stated. “Yeah–of course I’m excited.” 

The pain was inevitable but no matter how many times you felt it, it hurt more and more each time. 

“I’ll see you soon.” He quickly glanced at you and cleared his throat. “Love you too.” He mumbled. 

Tears were beginning to fill your eyes. Hazing over, making everything look blurry. You could feel it, the end of it all. Before he even got off the phone, you just…Knew. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispered. 

You shrugged your shoulders, forcing a smile as you peeled off the bed. Holding the sheet around your body. “It’s fine. She’s your wife after all.” You hissed. 

Jensen was torn, feeling as if he was being pulled in every direction. “She’s pregnant.” He blurted. 

Your body fell cold, like your blood had stopped pumping through your veins. Every inch, frozen in its place. Your breathing falling slow. 

“Y/N.” He exhaled, a lump forming in his throat. Aching every time he swallowed. “Y/N, please look at me.” 

You were lost in the depths of the corners of your mind. A million thoughts running wild, and emotions washing over you. You could feel everything begin to close in. The walls moving, the air escaping. 

“Y/N.” He reached for your hand, and the second you felt his touch, you snapped out of your trance. 

“I should go.” You swallowed hard. 

You quickly slipped on your clothes, not once looking at him. You couldn’t. Because you knew that if you did, if you just glanced over for just a second, you would fall back in. He was your weakness. Your kryptonite. And knowing he was about to be father, you knew you couldn’t bear the pain that would cause. 

He watched you closely, his throat thickening. “I don’t know what to do.” He muttered. 

“Go home to your wife.” You hissed. “And don’t come back.” 

As you reached for the door, Jensen propped up to his feet and strode over, blocking your way out. His emotions heightened, the tears trickled down his freckled cheeks. 

“Please don’t leave yet.” He whispered, His hand cupping your face. 

Your lips quivered, as your breaths shook in your throat. 

“Please.” He leaned in closer and closer, until your lips had met. 

You could taste the salt of his tears through the kiss, as you held him close. The love you two shared was more than just physical. You two were somehow tethered together into the affair, it took every ounce of you to push away. 

“Goodbye Jensen.” You swallowed. 


Everything was suppose to be simple after the day you walked out. But With having to see him on set, and going to conventions and all things in between, you had found yourself back in his arms. Found yourself molding your lips to his. 

Back and forth. 

You had the same affect on him as he did for you. You were each others desires. It was like you needed each other to breathe. To see, to feel, to hear. And The deeper you two were, the harder every time someone pushed away. 

You were torturing each other, falling more into the toxic emotions, but then dwelling on guilt. 

It didn’t help seeing them together. Watching her belly grow, watching the way they looked at each other in photos and hearing the stories of their time together. 

Pretending you were happy for them and forcing smiles. Every lie, slowly destroyed you. Until you couldn’t take it anymore. 

Jensen decided to surprise you by taking you to a small little house just an hour outside of Vancouver. 

“What is this?” You asked.

He flashed a smile, closing the door behind him, waving the key in the air. “Its ours.” He stated. 

You furrowed your brows, studying his face for bluff. “Wait what?” 

“I thought it would be nice to have our own little place. Where we can just be together, not have to worry about anyone.” 

You glanced around the room you two stood in. It was breathtakingly beautiful. White boarded walls, with wood floors. It was the house you two drove by multiple times and talked about someday owning one just like it. 

Tears filled your eyes, and slowly, a knot formed in your throat. “Stop.” You grunted. 

He cocked a brow and titled his head to the side. “What?” 

“Please, just stop getting my hopes up!” You exclaimed. “Just stop!” 

“I can’t stop.” He shook his head, locking his gaze with yours. “I love you Y/N. I cant find the strength to leave you. I can’t imagine my life without you.” 

Your tears had stained your cheeks, as you began to whimper. Every part of you feeling so fragile. 

“What do you want?” You gritted through your teeth, anger boiling up inside you. “What do you want!” 

“You. I want you.” 

In that moment, you could feel your face scrunch as you stood only inches away from him. All the pain, the anger, the agony washing over you. “I am not a fantasy!” You hissed. “If you want me, EARN ME.” 

“Then sit there and watch me choose you.” He breathed. “Watch me earn you.” 


Jensen’s phone went off, waking you both up from your slumber. your head pounded from all the emotions that coursed through you just the day before. When he surprised you with the house. 

“Good morning beautiful.” He smiled. Pressing his lips to yours. 

Everything in that moment felt right. Felt as if nothing could go wrong. But maybe you thought too soon. 

His phone rang once again, making you tense up again. 

“Hey jared. Now’s not-” He stopped and immediately, his mouth parted. “Is she okay?” He exhaled. “Alright, I’m on my way.” 

Propping up onto his feet, he quickly pulled his clothes on, panting as his heart began to beat rapidly. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked. Beginning to worry as you watched him frantically pace around the room. 

He stopped mid step, and glanced over to you. His lips dropping and you knew that look. It was the look he gave you every time he had to leave you and go back to Danneel. 

“You said-”

“I know. But she’s in labor.” He stated. “I have to be there.” 

You quickly took in a deep breath. Of course he had to be there. He was the father after all. 

“I’ll be back.” He pecked your lips and made his way to the door. 

The second you were left alone, you lost it. Weeping into your hands, your body shook uncontrollably. Every time he walked away, you died a little more inside. Slowly destroying the person you are. 

After a few minutes of letting everything go, you picked yourself up and without giving it a second thought, you left. This was it. You were no longer going to let him hurt you ever again. 


One year. It’s been one year since you left and walked away from the man you truly and desperately loved. Not once answering his calls. 

You vanished from his life completely. To move on, and to mend yourself back together. 

It was hard at first. You found little things that reminded you of him. You were able to smell his scent stitched into your pillows. So one day, you packed all of your things and moved as far away as you could. To a knew place where you knew he would never go. Where you and him shared nothing together. 

After a while, you were able to go days without thinking of him. Without wondering how he was and what he was doing. You kept yourself busy with movies, and press tours. Somewhere between all the chaos of running around, you even found yourself dating again. 

Things were slowly falling back into place. And this guy, he was sweet. And funny, and everything a girl could ever want. He was extremely attractive, making all the girls swoon. And you were the lucky girl he committed himself too. 

You met him at your premiere for your new movie. He was there with a few friends that you happen to know. Sure you’ve seen him on screen, and magazines and what not, but that night was the first time you two had ever met. 

But here you two were, a few months later, and you were actually happy. 

You were both heading over to Gen’s house for Tom’s birthday party. Though you and Jensen were no longer, you still kept in touch with Her. She was like a sister to you. 

You were skeptical of the idea, until she let slip that both Jared and Jensen wont be there due to shooting. So you decided why not. 

“Thanks for coming with me today.” You whispered, knocking on the door. 

He shrugged his shoulders, and flashed a smile. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

You quickly pecked his lips, before the door swung open. 

And there he was, with a beer in his hand locking his gaze with yours. 

“J-Jensen.” You hesitated. 

He swallowed hard, his heart feeling as if it had dropped to the pit of his stomach. 

“Hi, I’m Chris.” Your boyfriend reached his hand out. Snapping you both out of the trance. 

Jensen shook his head, clearing his throat as he forced a smile. “H-hi. Jensen.” He smirked. “A-Aren’t you that guy who plays Captain America?” 

Chris nodded, “ Yeah. That one dude.” 

They both chuckled as you were frozen, still gazing at Jensen. 

“Well, come in. Everyone is out back.” He stated. Both you and Chris made your ways inside, your stomach churning by the second. 

“I–I’ll meet you O-Outside.” Your voice shook. 

He nodded, and walked to the back, as you started for the bathroom. Jensen followed you, until you were both alone. His hand, gripped your wrist, turning you around to face him.

You could feel your eyes well up, “Stop.” You groaned. 

He looked longingly into both your eyes. “Why weren’t you answering any of m calls?” He asked. 

“Don’t do this J.” You whispered. “Not now.” 

“What? Are you serious? Its been a year! an entire fucking year since I heard from you. I went to your apartment only to find out from your damn neighbor that you moved. You just fell off the grid.” His voice was harsh. “What the hell happened?”

“What happened?” You exclaimed. “You had a baby! You are married, you have a family and a home and what we were doing wasn’t going anywhere. We were in a fantasy.” 

Jensen took in a deep breath, glancing down at his feet. “I know. I know, this entire situation is fucked up. But-” He paused, looking back up to you as he cupped your cheek. “I love you Y/N. I try so damn hard not to be. I tried to let you go, and to move on. But I couldn’t. I mean, when Jared told me that you were going to be here, I did whatever I could to come out because I had to see you.” 

Your breath shook in your throat, lingering onto every word he said. 

“You have no idea how lost and hurt I was when you left.” He whispered. Slowly inching closer, you could feel his breath hit against your cheek. 

“J-”

His lips crashed into yours, and just like that, you were pulled back into him. 

Without any of your knowledge, Danneel was there, on the other side of the wall. Her eyes watering as every word that fell from her husbands mouth echoed into her ears. 

She knew something was wrong, especially since JJ was born. He wasn’t himself. And now she knew why. 

Before you could find out she was even there, she slipped back out to the backyard where everyone stayed. 

As much as you wanted to keep falling more into him, you used every ounce you could to push him away.

You were both panting. 

“I-I cant do this.” You whispered.

And there you were, walking away again.


Another 4 months have come and gone. You were getting ready for your date with Chris tonight. A night in Disneyland. You were excited. 

There was a knock at your door, grabbing your attention. “Coming!” You squealed. 

Running over, you swung the door open, your lips curved at the edges. “Are you ready-” You stopped mid sentence, feeling your heart stop. “Danneel?” 

She took in a deep breath, her hands folded in front of her. “I know bout you and Jensen.” She muttered.

You gulped down, eyes slightly growing wide. “i-i”

“He needs you, Y/N.” She cut you off. “He is tired and broken and its-its because he lost you. He’s not alive when you’re not here. He cant breathe when you’re not here. He doesn’t have the will to keep going let alone care about anything when you’re not here because you–you’re everything to him.” 

You were at lost for words, as you watched her walk away. So many different emotions running through your mind as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. 

It wasn’t until Chris pulled up that you snapped out of your trance. 

“Ready to go have some fun?” He smiled. 

You looked up to meet his gaze, your lip quivering and your eyes filling with tears. 

“Whats wrong?” He asked. 

“I-I don’t know.” Your voice cracked. 

Chris furrowed his brows, studying you for a moment. “Is everything okay?” 

You shrugged your shoulders, tears trickling down your face as you locked your gaze with his. “I’m in love with Jensen.” You yelped. 

“Wait, what? B-But hes–He’s married.” He exclaimed. Anger boiling inside of him. 

“I know! I know, and trust me, if I could stop loving him, I would. But I cant. I cant.” You stated. “I dont want normal and easy and simple. I want–I want–”

“What?” His voice was harsh. “What do you want?” 

You quickly licked your lips, and took in a deep breath. “I want painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, extraordinary love.” 


Every part of you shook, as you hit your knuckles against the wooden surface. Your heart pounded profusely, and your emotions overwhelming you. 

The door crept open, and your eyes locked. “Y/N?” He breathed. 

Without a word, you crashed your lips to his, taking him by complete surprise. 

His scruff scratched your face, as you clasped your hand behind his neck, pulling him in closer. You could feel the tension, the pain, through the kiss. Until he pulled apart from you, taking a step back, still shocked. 

“W-what are you doing here?” He asked. 

“I love you too.” You finally confessed after all this time. 

His mouth parted, locking his gaze with yours. “B-but you and Chris–You’re–”

You shook your head, cutting him off. “Sit there, and watch me choose you.” 

Olivia truly knows Fitz loves her unconditional. She knows he will always accept accept her flaws and all. Fitz is Olivia light. He is who she wants her future to b with. She knows he is her soulmate.

It’s Kind Of Funny...

Rewatching Scandal from the beginning. I’m still not an Olitz fan, like at all but what bothers me now considering I know the trajectory of their relationship and considering I’m a bit older than I was when the show first came out, has changed. 

Looking back I realize that I used to find Fitz kind of villainous but now I see that he is actually just pathetic. Now I realize that he’s naive and weak-willed and self-righteous at the same time. And how he treats Mellie still angers me but it makes more sense now because Mellie is practical, she’s a realist, she’s about being a team and that comes across as cold and bleak and heartless to a self-interested idealist like Fitz who thinks with his penis and follows his heart whatever the consequences because he’s a child. Which is why I still live for when Mellie drags him, like when she compares him to Big Gerry and tells him the kids don’t want to visit him (I’m on season 2).

But when it comes to Olivia, I’m less angry and just more like

Cyrus and Mellie and Verna all spoke about how Fitz was a True Believer and a patriot etc. but Fitz wasn’t a True Believer when it came to being president or running the States (he is a terrible leader), he was a True Believer when it came to Olivia. And I don’t think I really realized that before. Like from Day One there wasn’t really any struggle on his part when it came to throwing away everything to be with her, he repeatedly tries to divorce Mellie, he is willing to give up his presidency and Olivia is essentially like, um, you can keep that. And I understand that simply because I don’t think there’s anything to their relationship but sex and misery, there’s no real basis, no real foundation, no actual connection except for the fact that they want to have sex without secrecy and can’t, but Fitz takes his cues from Olivia, acquiesces to Olivia constantly, and the fact that there were so many opportunities for them to be together and they choose not to, mostly Olivia chooses not to, really throws into relief how delusional and dishonest they both are. Like they do a good job in showing how tortured Olivia is about loving Fitz but honestly, after coming down from the high of watching Scandal in real time, and seeing where they are now, which makes sense, there really isn’t a reason why Olivia should be agonized. Like, I got it if she felt bad because he’s a married man and I would believe it more if Fitz himself were struggling with actually caring about Mellie and loving Olivia or truly caring about the presidency and choosing Olivia — because I actually don’t see that struggle or believe that struggle on Fitz’s end because people around him always tell the audience what Fitz feels about being president and he always chooses Olivia first and Olivia makes him choose the presidency after fake-choosing him and then being like nope can’t do it! — then I could get why she’s tortured but considering how easy it is for Fitz I’m like, 6 seasons is a very long time to admit that you wanted nothing more than to be his sidepiece, Olivia.

Anyway.

Jake finally made his appearance and I’m still loving the Olake dynamic. He was really charming and while I do find their current dynamic both disturbing and hot and therefore intriguing, I do miss this Olake; this “I can be your do-over” “I can make you happy” Olake. They haven’t mentioned the sun yet but I am waiting!