What would it be like to start a family with Carisi?
Starting a family with Carisi would involve:
You and he would have had a long conversation about what you wanted when it came to kids. I doubt he’d have any objection to a houseful of kids, but if you only wanted a one or two he wouldn’t object either.
Him being super hands-on throughout the pregnancy. Carisi would be the kinda’ guy who wanted to know everything he possibly could beforehand. He’d read baby books and the like.
Sonny getting nervous when you get the crib. Mid-putting-it-together it would hit him how real the reality of him being a dad was, and you’d have to tell him he was going to be a great dad. It would be an excited kind of nervous and Sonny would be like, “I can’t believe I’m gonna’ be a dad,” while the whole floor was littered with pieces of the crib that still had yet to be put together.
Getting all kinds of advice from Olivia, Rollins, and Bella on what to expect and what to do.
Sonny telling you that Tommy also gave him advice when you tell him about all the unsolicited advice you’d been getting, and the two of you having a laugh that all of these people want to give you advice.
Having to have a quick baby shower in the precinct because Carisi has to work.
After a bad day at work when he gets in a dangerous position, Carisi laments to you that he wants to be there for you and the baby and you just hold him after telling him that he is going to be there for you and the baby.
Sonny crying a little when he sees the baby for the first time because he’s so happy.
Sonny being amazing with the baby when it does come.
Sonny being a great dad.
Sonny being a pushover dad.
Teasing Sonny anytime he makes a joke that they’re now “dad-jokes.”
college advice from a rising senior || re: studying, learning, and other academic stuff
okay so for starters I may not be the best at this advice. I will be the first to admit that I am probably one of the worst people when it comes to studying and not procrastinating but what things I have learned I will pass on
know what you need to study and how much. this sounds basic, but there are certain subjects I had to prioritize studying and knowing what they were was really helpful on nights where I knew I wasn’t going to finish. for example, my problem subjects were sociology and french. if I had tests coming up, I had to make sure that was the homework I got done and knew because I couldn’t fake it
don’t go into anything entirely unprepared. I didn’t always finish the book for english or the reading for history. but I made an effort to know what I was talking about. if it’s 3am and you’ve put off reading the book and you’re only 3 chapters into the 10 chapters you need to know by 11am, either skim the remaining chapters or sparknotes. I’d do both personally but that’s just me.
get a study buddy. this was the best way for me to remain accountable for studying, especially because I hate letting people down. this is also helpful for topics that require reviewing specific facts (e.g. french, biology, history, sociological terms), or running lines (e.g. theatre, class presentations, oral language exams), less so for things like english or philosophy that are more discussion/opinion based.
know when to sleep. the process of converting short term memory into long term memory is a part of the sleep cycle. all-nighters are ineffectual and can ruin your sleep schedule. if you’re a night studier like I am, learn how to use caffeine to your advantage and know that 4-5 is the sleepiest time of day and you might as well give in to those few hours of sleep. this also applies to day-to-day. college kids like to make jokes about never sleeping but the fact I can generally time studying so I get at least 8 hours a night has caused envy among my peers
sleep is how we convert memory. this is pretty much the same as my last point but it’s sooo important. sleep is the underrated powerhouse of a good college career. the stuff you’re learning is going to disappear if you don’t convert that short term memory into long term. I’ve made a helpful diagram that I may expand upon later:
know how you learn. there are lots of different ways to learn but basically it can be broken down into four different groups: (1) visual (2) audio (3) reading/writing (4) kinesthetic/hands-on once you learn how you best retain information, you can use that in class selection, participation, and study tactics.
learning doesn’t always take place in a classroom. go to the seminars and lectures, the poetry readings and gallery openings, talk to your professor during office hours about why their so passionate about what they teach, spend time with people outside your friend group. join the club. some of the coolest things I’ve learned have been in those situations.
learning doesn’t always take place in your comfort zone. this is an expansion on the previous point. take the class in the thing you’ve always wanted to learn but never had the time (or if you’re worried about your gpa and are able to, audit it). take the leap. the only way to grow, is to break out of the shell.
other academic stuff
go to class. don’t go if you’re sick and contagious, but go to class. even if it’s optional. don’t waste the opportunities you’re given.
consider the single notebook method. I’ve been able to put all my notes for a given semester in a single 3-5 subject notebook. I never have to worry about grabbing the wrong one. (make sure it has pockets for handouts though. that’s important)
don’t be afraid to talk to your professors. especially if you’re going through a hard time. They’re people. Many professors are empathetic to your plight. Don’t abuse excuses but if you’re legitimately having a hard time, let them know. (example: I had to turn in a hard copy of an essay before leaving for spring break. my travel plans had moved up three hours and the essay prompt was harder than expected. I talked to my professor and got an extension (via email) until midnight.) some professors will be great to talk to about things beyond academia (i.e. life perspective and advice). my two favourite professors have talked me through friend issues and breakups, respectively. Especially professors in your department can help you with career trajectories and advice. Odds are they majored in the same thing they’re teaching you.
don’t blow off freshman year. it’s tempting to get caught up in the freedom of living on your own, but your grades from freshman year can affect your overall gpa and potentially affect future honor societies and opportunities. that being said…
don’t take yourself too seriously. don’t burn yourself out by overloading on classes and studying. know when to take a break. know how to take a break.
and as always, if you have any questions, please please please feel free to ask. I’d love to help.
I send these drawings out into the world with one of my favourite poems, written by Erin Hanson. This show really helped me through a very tough time and it has become a part of me, just as much as my drawings.
So I would like to add a sentence to this poem: “You are the art that you create.”
Because it’s true, I AM my drawings. They are with me through good and through bad times and I’m sure it’s the same for every artist out there, no matter what art it is that you create. Writers, artists, actors or musicians, we all feel insecure from time to time, but being different from others is what makes our kind of art so SPECIAL. In every sentence you write or line that you draw is a part of YOU and the way you see the world. So be proud of yourself. NO ONE can be like you. You have the power to give the world something back and make people happy. Use it.
Sometimes I can’t believe I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic. I would lapse into catastrophic thinking a lot, where I was just convinced that the worst thing would happen. But I worked hard to stop those patterns, because I realised if you think something’s going to end badly, sweetheart, it will.
That was the most excruciating song. It was obviously very emotional for me to see [Dhani] up there paying tribute to his dad. And listening to George’s words - ‘Beware of sadness/ It can hit you, it can hurt you, make you sore/ And what is more, that is not what you are here for’ - feeling so incredibly sad and trying not to be sad - taking George’s advice.
Olivia Harrison on the Concert for George, Rolling Stone, 9 October 2003
Okay, so I may be a bit slow about picking this up but I just realised something.
When Olivia says this in the Pilot episode, at face value she is talking about Sully loving a man. She is telling him that their love shouldn’t be a secret. It’s a very touching moment and ultimately helps him be honest with himself and the world.
But now that I think about it, this is foreshadowing her relationship with Fitz for the entire run of the show so far. Olitz is a secret! So my hope is that in Season 5 we see Olivia follow her own advice and no longer keep her love a secret.
Unpopular opinion time (maybe?). That Jake/motel scene was one of my favorite scenes on the show. And for the first time in seasons, I don’t think Jake was irrelevant.
And I’m serious. I loved it. It was actually really tense for me. And I think that’s because I had the expectation that she was going to admit to the affair by the end to the episode. There was a moment when I thought Jake and Olivia were going to hook-up. I was truly restless waiting to be disappointed by a kiss…or something. But thanks to The One Who Is High they only cuddle. While I wasn’t thrilled by the sight (because it seemed like such a vast contradiction from the images we saw last week of her and Fitz), I completely understood and appreciated the moment.
First and foremost, these moments of vulnerability where Olivia outwardly express fear and shame, so few and far between, are the moments that I’ve wanted to see for seasons. For two seasons, I, like many of you, complained that the writers glossed over her mental state. And I don’t mean solving her issues. I’m not talking therapy. I mean giving viewers an understanding of what’s going on in her head. I don’t expect the writers to put her in a therapy session when they’ve barely portrayed her as having full emotions in relation to the plot they’ve thrown her way.
So concerned with the mechanics of the plot, it seemed like a rarity to see portrayals of Olivia living in her emotions. In season three and four, if something horrible happened to Olivia, it didn’t seem to matter. The writers were clearly interested in moving the story along not so much growing Olivia’s character and dealing with her emotions in explicit ways. Viewers really had to infer what was going on in her head, even with her PTSD. Though we understood how her PTSD happened, it’s still unclear why she made some of the choices she made. Sure, she wanted to forget her present situation. But why were hook-ups the way to do it? There are many ways for people to forget their problems (drugs and alcohol, shopping, working, eating, binge watching). Why sex? While I found the portrayal of her PTSD to be interesting, I didn’t find it to be particularly nuanced. It was any easy way to “shock” the viewer in the reveal of Russell being B613. Again, it seemed like the writers were more interested in the plot versus truly growing Olivia in believable ways. I have found this to be particularly frustrating because I don’t think that’s always true of other characters. I also found this disappointing because Scandal has never done plot that well. It has always succeeded in building character driven stories.
But something different happened in 502. 501 was important because Olivia expressed her wants and desires. Through her conversation with Fitz on the balcony, her fears could be implicitly inferred. However, 502 makes her express fear outwardly. Not only that, we get to see for the first time since perhaps 211, when she goes along with rigging the election, Olivia deal with the competing thoughts in her head. Her struggle with thinking about Fitz’s love, her father’s hateful words, and Jake’s profession of love shows all over her face. These types of moments add to the humanity of her character and make her even more relatable.
But it didn’t stop there. When she expresses the shame she feels/has felt…I could have fucking cried, and I’m not even kidding. Let’s just take a moment to relive it.
“I’ve spent so much time, years, ashamed. With shame pressing on me, suffocating me. For just a little bit, I let myself breathe. And..then those photos come out. And that’s what I’m running from. That feeling, the shame.”
Are you kidding me? How can you not feel for her? This is how you build characters worth investing in. You make your audience empathize with them. But how can we do it if the characters are voiceless?
We knew in 312, during that lovers’ quarrel with Fitz in the hotel, that Olivia wasn’t proud of her mistress status. But to have her explicitly express it, without metaphors, just plainly stating how she feels seems like a triumph of epic proportions. She’s not running away from Fitz. She’s running away from the burden that shame has placed on her. From the humiliation and indignity she feels for loving a man at the wrong time. These are the moments that add depth to a character. It’s not running around aimlessly chasing super spies. It’s having characters deal with conflict and sort through difficult emotion. From this moment alone, I feel like I got a better understanding of Olivia Pope.
So scared and so confused and ashamed, she needs to be physically comforted. She may not be in love with Jake, but she clearly cares about Jake and feels comfortable with Jake. I appreciate that he could give her just a moment of security when she felt so insecure. And on top of that, really good advice, describing the ways in which fear makes you trust your instincts. Advice, might I add, that is likely the reason she said “Yes.” In that moment, swirled by paparazzi and journalists, she was acting on pure instinct. The admission didn’t occur in some methodical, planned press conference. It felt like a simple gut instinct.
But more than that, Jake’s presence helps Fitz see that a life of public shame is not what’s best for Olivia. It was only when those pictures of Olivia and Jake in the diner were revealed, only when Abby convinced Fitz, given who Olivia was with, she was not interested in the spotlight, did Fitz wave his white flag, leaving singlehandedly the sweetest, most selfless fictitious voicemail I’ve ever heard.
It’s indisputable to me that Jake’s presence was unnecessary and irrelevant in the latter half of season 4. When he was stabbed, it truly didn’t matter if he lived or died because he didn’t serve the plot in any meaningful way, and certainly in no such distinct way that necessitated his presence on the show for season 5. But in 502, I truly believe he needed to be there. Huck or Quinn’s presence wouldn’t have convinced Fitz that Olivia didn’t want to be in the spotlight. Fitz may have assumed that Olivia was just working not running if Huck or Quinn had accompanied her. Huck is too inhumane at this point to even offer advice or comfort to Olivia. Huck doesn’t know how to human anymore. Quinn is too self-involved, Abby is too judgmental (and clearly untrustworthy), Cyrus is too self-serving. In this scenario, Jake is truly the only person who could comfort Olivia, give her useful advice, and also be the spark that allows Fitz to see the bigger picture. For the first time possibly ever, I appreciated Jake’s role on the show.
Last night’s episode wasn’t perfect. There were certainly some pacing issues. And the case of the week was TRASH. But honestly Scandal’s cases are always trash and forgettable. I couldn’t remember a half dozen cases between season three or four if I tried. But this case served a good purpose. We have more evidence that Olivia’s ability to function like a normal human in times of crisis depends on work. We got see Olivia get hands on with a case not just delegate and come up with ideas and plans. She goes to North Carolina and handles it herself, acting as part PI, part bounty hunter, all bad bitch. But more than that, we see clearer sides to her humanity. And I’m always here for that.
When it comes to dressing monochromatic, an outfit can look off very easily. One common mistake is stepping outside your color zone. It’s important, when wearing one tone, that you pair similar shades together for the best and most chic result. For inspiration, we found a few images that hit monochrome style perfectly on the nose. From street style star Olivia Palermo in head-to-toe grey to blogger and photographer Hanneli Mustaparta in bright white, see how the pros wear all one color and shop their go-to shades today!
“You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies and you’re calling it love. And in the meantime, you’re letting your whole life pass you by while they raise children and celebrate anniversaries and grow old. Together. You’re frozen in time. You’re holding your breath. You’re a statue waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Living for stolen moments and hotel hallways and coat closets. You keep telling yourself they all add up to something real because in your mind they have to. But they don’t. They won’t. They never will because stolen moments aren’t a life. So you have nothing. You have no one.”