olivia pope monologue

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AU Mellivia | And I remember when I met her, it was so clear that she was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged her to stay! Try to remember what we had at the beginning. She was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When she walked in, every man’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to her. She was like this hybrid, this mix of a woman who couldn’t contain herself. I always got the sense that she became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a woman as magnificent as her. And in that way I understood her.
And I loved her.
I loved her, I loved her, I loved her.
And I still love her!
I love her!

Monologue Monday: "I did this for you."**

Introducing #MonologueMonday. Every Monday at noon EST (ish) during the Scandal hiatus, I will post a monologue, or snippet of dialogue from the show. I’m creating this as an outlet that will allow me to reflect on passages within the context of an entire season, or draw on parallels from the past. These are less like essays, and more like experiments in free thought that will vary in length. 

“Livvie, you probably won’t understand until you have kids of your own, but I did this for you. All of it. That man hurt you. He uses you, and he will throw you away when he’s done with you. I just wanted to give you the chance to be free, to be happy.”—Maya Pope, The Price of a Free and Fair Election (318)

After re-watching the entire season 3 of Scandal, I got stuck on the above statement made by Maya because it set off alarm bells in my head. What does she mean by “I did this for you. All of it”.  Those lines are almost exactly what Olivia said to Fitz in 219 about Defiance (“You thought it was easy? I did that for you…I did everything for you”). Both scenes took place in a hospital room. Like mother, like daughter? It’s a complicated thing to do something illegal for someone out of love when that thing ends up emotionally harming its benefactor in the process. But it’s not love that drives people to do these things; it’s faith that the end result will make the risks worth it.  

And what does Maya mean by  “All of this”? All of what? Does she include flying off to London to sell US government secrets, too? Lying to Rowan that there was a bomb on the plane? All of what? When Olivia asks her if any of their life together as a family was real, she responds, “I didn’t kill [Eli], and we both know I could have.”  Does that mean some part of her still loves Eli? Or is it that she doesn’t want to leave Olivia without her father? Yet she is OK with facilitating a bomb to blow up the father of three other children for the sake of setting her daughter ‘free’ so she can be ‘happy’. It seems simple enough: a mother trying to set her daughter free from a man who she perceives as a user. We believe this in part because Maya precedes her statement by asking, “Was that your boyfriend?” Olivia had just gotten off the phone with Fitz–the last time she would speak with him prior to leaving on a jet plane—before entering her Rowan’s hospital room.  So we all think she’s talking about Fitz. We can see that there are some parallels in the  Mrs & Mrs. Smith-like relationship between the Popes that Maya may be projecting onto Olitz relationship.

In 309, Maya tells Olivia and the Gladiators that she married a man (Eli) and then found out he was a monster (Rowan).  She felt used after finding out about the monster, and attempted to blow the whistle on the whole thing (309), but that monster threw her away in a jail cell for 22 years. I guess I’ll excuse the fact that Maya basically did the same thing to Dominic (317)—a man she loved, but allowed to be murdered by Rowan because she , to give Rowan the information he wanted (whereabouts of the bomb). Rowan has separate and particular issues with Fitz as a man (something I will discuss in its own piece), but he also projects onto the Olitz parallels from his relationship with Maya. He  feels a deep grievance that he was the mark in the already established relationship between Maya and Dominic. I believe he loved Maya, but clearly continues to harbour ill will towards her for 22 years. That’s why he locked her ass up in the deepest, darkest bowels of  American justice system instead of killing her. In a sick, twisted way, he continues to have feelings for Maya, but is not done punishing her for betraying him. And Maya still feels some kinda way about Rowan.  So mama and daddy don’t want Olivia to be the one who gets used, abused and discarded as the third party in an established relationship between Fitz and Mellie.

Cool, cool, cool…except for the part where they don’t really know her life. Looking at video tapes, and getting second hand reports about his daughter’s wheeling and dealings is not the same as knowing her life. And Maya, boo, you were in jail for 22 years. How do they really know anything about Olivia and Fitz’s relationship? But seriously, how do you know? And I don’t believe you and Rowan were working together.

The  Pope family dynamic is an interesting and complex one that I’m not going to addressed in full here because I’m saving that for something else.  My point is everything that Maya and Rowan believe about Olitz is not just about the instinct of parents to protect their child, and do what they can to make them happy out of love. Where Olivia’s relationship is concerned, Maya and Rowan’s actions are filtered through the lens of their own experiences, especially the bitterness and pain. I think they way they have insinuated themselves into her adult life, and tried to manipulate the choices in her life are rather unfair. But then again, I’m not someone who believes you should keep clinging to family members that hurt you just because they are flesh and blood.

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**I promise these won’t always be so long in the future.

I do love you. Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? You’re the love of my life. I can’t leave you.
But you’re constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want.
Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me.

So I’m asking you, if you don’t see a future for us, if you’re not in this, please… please just end it because I can’t, I’m in it. Put me out of my misery.

—  Derek Sheperd to Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy, episode  3x25.
End it. Now…You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies, and you’re calling it love. And in the meantime you’re letting your whole life pass you by while they raise children and celebrate anniversaries and grow old together. You’re frozen in time. You’re holding your breath, you’re a statue waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Living for stolen moments and hotel hallways and coat closets. You keep telling yourself they all add up to something real because in your mind they have to, but they don’t. They won’t. They never will because stolen moments aren’t a life. So you have nothing. You have no one. End it now.
—  Olivia Pope, Boom Goes The Dynamite