alright the weasley family is huge and most of them love quidditch so who are we kidding. they totally have an annual quidditch match where they invite everyone they know… oliver wood is invited and he drags with him his boyfriend marcus flint. angelina is there, ready to kick flint’s ass. krum shows up every other year. (dean, seamus and ron almost pass out when he wants to be on their team.) lee jordan and luna lovegood are the commentators.
So I have this headcanon that the Gryffindor Quidditch team always throws stuff at one another.
It started out as a way Charlie meant to improve Wood’s reflexes, on and off the pitch, which Oliver then continued on with when he became captain. His Keeper potential was first spotted, after all, when McGonagall slipped on some slime Peeves had left behind, dropping the tower of books she was carrying in her arms, which were saved by an eleven-year-old Oliver Wood, who slid the length of the slippery corridor on his stomach Superman-style just to catch the books before they landed in the slime. From then on, even snowball fights are serious business.
Naturally, Fred and George would be tricking the others by pretending to throw a practice ball one way but then throwing in another. They notice Wood never misses these saves. Then one day, at breakfast, Fred throws a salt shaker at Wood and he catches it without glancing up from his plate. Pretty soon, it becomes a challenge to see “What won’t Wood catch?” and it eventually extends to the whole team in all directions. It becomes a sort of in-joke. They regularly throw ink bottles, books, food, Percy’s prefect badge, dungbombs, potions, pets, Ron, at each other just to keep their reflexes up. It is no surprise when Katie goes as far as throwing things at Peeves in Order of the Phoenix now, is it?
It goes beyond the pitch, but more than that, it goes beyond Hogwarts. When Oliver visits Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes the first time, it’s no accident that no less than twenty-seven pygmy puffs just happen to be zooming his way from odd directions.
At some point, it turns a tad sinister, mostly as payback for all the early morning practices. When Wood misses out on Angelina’s birthday because of a match, he is woken by room service at 2 am, just to find himself face to face with a Muggle tennis ball machine. He finds himself delievered random balls by waiters, owls, confused Muggle postmen. A while later, he peels an orange and finds not delicious fruit but another wretched tennis ball inside, with newspaper cutout letters spelling “Constant Vigilance” on it.
He becomes paranoid, it’s like a slap bet he never signed up for. He can’t get an ice cream that doesn’t turn into a tennis ball in a cone by the time he walks out of Florean’s. He tries to flee but to no avail. Years and years later, when Percy is Head of Transportation, George asks him for permission to turn a tennis ball into a Portkey. “How many people will be transported?” he asks. “None”, George replies simply. Before long, Oliver is found by a random ball materializing in thin air fifty feet above him while he is in the middle of nowhere on holiday. Just when he thought they had grown out of it, there it is, zooming at him once again, like that salt shaker Fred had thrown him when they were kids.