gender reveal party idea: Its “why the fuck would you care about whats between my kids legs and why do you think I will connect that to their gender and why do you think gender would change the way i treat them as my child in the first place anyway you half brained cretins” written in black olive halves on a pizza except theres too much text so it just looks like a pizza with an obscene amount of olives on it
Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website. (AO3) Rating: M Word Count: ~3800 (why do they keep getting longer?) Chapters:OneTwo
hope u like crazy hot mess emma 😝 🍺🍻🍷🍸🍹🍾🍕 😵
remember a few months ago when i asked everyone to tell me stories of stupid/funny shit y’all did when drunk? thanks for the inspiration ;))
Special instructions:pls send cute delivry guy, i missss himm
One of the benefits of having a job with odd hours was that Emma could get completely trashed on a Tuesday evening and not give a single fuck as to how it would affect her the next morning. She’d started her own private party several hours earlier when all of her friends had turned her down for one reason or another. (Because they had jobs, mostly. Fucking party pooping productive members of society.)
She was giggling so hard she snorted when she clicked ‘order’ on the website, so beyond caring about anything that she felt no shyness or shame whatsoever.
Drunk did not even begin to cover it. Drunk was several homemade cocktails earlier. She was mixing a bunch of things she really shouldn’t be mixing. She couldn’t remember everything she ingested, but she did recall the two straight shots of tequila that she started off with (and what a way to start), as well as the few gulps of red wine that she took straight from the bottle because she was a respectable, refined adult. She vaguely recalled an almost-daiquiri of questionable flavor, as well as one particularly horrible concoction of Red Bull, triple sec, vodka, gin, and Gatorade because apparently she was trying to liquefy her internal organs.
(It didn’t help that she’d pulled out the entire contents of her alcohol cabinet and placed everything on her kitchen counter, giving her a wide selection of self-destructive options.)
Dominant Si: You throw a temper tantrum when the rest of the group votes to replace the mushrooms with black olives on the pizza
Auxiliary Si: You’re feeling “edgy” this weekend, so you’re gonna try homemade tartar instead of going to Applebee’s
Tertiary Si: You probably have your favorite childhood cartoon character tattooed somewhere on your body
Inferior Si: You only changed religions twice during college, that’s surprisingly conservative of you
Dominant Se: Everything you do has to result in you saying “Whoooooaaaaaaa!!!”
Auxiliary Se: This is needlessly dangerous, so of course you’re first in line to try it
Tertiary Se: Put on that Armani/Versace because you’re gong grocery shopping
Inferior Se: I guess you owe it to yourself to have sex this year
Dominant Ni: Life is overrated, deconstructing the fabric of existence is where it’s at
Auxiliary Ni: During the the Lewinsky scandal in the late 90’s, you jokingly said “Hillary will get back at him by becoming president herself one day”
Tertiary Ni: You just now, out of nowhere, decided to knock down every wall in your apartment so you can have a yourself a kickass loft
Inferior Ni: You woke up this morning deciding you want to become president in the near future. As you Googled “What is the difference between Democrats and Republicans?”, you got sidetracked by a hookup on Tinder
Dominant Ne: You just gave a friend a two hour monologue on the history of Imperial Japan because they asked you if they should buy a Toyota
Auxiliary Ne: You’ve never made it to season 3 of anything
Tertiary Ne: You can can assess where your friends and family are going with their lives…..through astrology of course. And you just can’t resist an on-line quiz that tells you about your personality based on your eye color
Inferior Ne: Screw it! You’re gonna wear that fedora non-ironically. You only live once, after all
Dominant Fi: If there was such a thing as “the chosen one” in real life, you’re totally convinced it would be you
Auxiliary Fi: You display the same burning passion as historical civil rights defenders do…..when someone insults a TV show you like
Tertiary Fi: You appointed yourself as the “This is wrong” police at your workplace
Inferior Fi: You once shook your head in disapproval and said “What’s this world coming to…..?” when watching the news. That was the weakest 7 seconds of your life
Dominant Fe: You call up bathroom tissue companies to ask if you can adopt the baby and puppy that were featured in their last commercial
Auxiliary Fe: You wanted people to like and share your opinions if they agreed, way before Facebook ever came along
Tertiary Fe: You’ve mastered the art of making people believe you are the love of their life in order to get them in bed for a one night stand
Inferior Fe: You DO apologize sometimes. Like, “I’m sorry that you’re such a *insert insult* ”
Dominant Ti: You have absolutely no qualms about murdering someone who annoys you, except for the whole “possible jail time” thing
Auxiliary Ti: If it gets you exactly what you want, even cheating is fair game
Tertiary Ti: You actually have an idea or two as to why your “check engine” light just appeared, before you hand it over to the mechanic
Inferior Ti: You legitimately have a 100%, purely scientific explanation as to why Sharon is being a bitch right now
Dominant Te: The world is a giant Tetris game for you and you’re the line piece
Auxiliary Te: 90% of the people you know can’t do anything right. The other 10% can, but they are obnoxious as hell about it
Tertiary Te: Every now and then you realize that doing something about it is 100% more effective than complaining about it
Inferior Te: You took out the trash this morning, now you’ll spend countless sleepless nights wondering if you gave yourself up to conformity
I saw an anon request toward @felicitys about 5x20 fics, so I thought I would make make a list of what I’ve seen so far. If anyone else knows of any others, or some more get written, please reblog and add!
Bunker Rendezvous by @dmichellewrites
Initially, Curtis sets up a date night in for his favorite power as they transform their attic into a secondary bunker in case the first one ever becomes compromise yet again. Dinners and alcohol lead to some fun antics in numerous places of the lair, and sometimes Star City’s beloved married duo just can’t help themselves. Oliver and Felicity spend a lot of long nights in the lair. How do Dig and Thea feel about this?
Liquid Courage by @bisexuallaurellance
Extension of the scene from the 5x20 flashbacks. Felicity’s had a lot to drink, and she finds herself back in Oliver’s arms for the first time in months.
Dr Piletre (Tvist)
Felicity landed in a heap on top of Oliver, his body trembling underneath her from the effort of holding on to her. She kept holding on to him, afraid he would disappear if she let him go.
@perfectlittlesoul Her mother once told her that when it was someone you cared about, someone you loved that waiting was the hardest thing that you to do.During 5x20 as Curtis was fixing Felicity’s chip, all she could think about was Oliver.
Post 5x20: Olicity Moments by hotsforolicity -
This is a one-shot as a continuation of episode 5x20. Starting from the last hospital scene.
It’s the Side Effects That Save Usby @theshipsfirstmate
“The last time they sat in a hospital room together, his eyes were sparkling like his mother’s ring and he was trying to cheer her up with promises she thinks they both knew, even then, that he wouldn’t be able to keep.”
@theolicitylibrary - I thought I should probably tag you since you do episode roundups and this will save you some work. :)
Mod Moonpaw: the only kind of pizza i like is cheese or black olives but pineapple on pizza? absolutely disgusting pineapple shouldnt be on there!! why must you kill it!!
Mod Sam: pineapples are disgusting and therefore putting fuckapples on the blessed thing called pizza is a nightmare in itself like dude you do your weird eating habits by ruining good and decent chill food but id rather be forced to chug hot sauce and coke (again) rather than even nibble the smallest piece of that cursed dough and ice cream with pizza is much better anyway but hey go eat your thing buddy just keep it away from my vicinity please and thanks
Mod Cherry: I don’t eat it because I’m a strict cheese pizza eater but I really don’t mind if other people like it. You do you dude.
Mod Nubs: I used to like it as a small child, but now I really don’t. So I guess I’ve experienced both sides of the argument!
Mod Remi: i dont think its a good combination despite never trying it. i dont even eat pizza that much :/ i just stick to manaqeesh lmao
Mod Two:I fuckign love pineapples and pineapples on pizza and I’ll fuckin fight every mod on daily-karkat for this opinion im willing to die for pineapples on pizza
Mod Spec: its whatever
Mod Floral: I just cannot abide the pineapple on pizza but tbh I’ve eaten way weirder sort of pizza than that, I just don’t like pineapples as a whole.
Spot passes out at everything. Running the mile in PE? Bam he's blacked out for ten minutes. His first kiss with Race? He falls limp into a very confused Race's arms. Giving a speech in front of the class for his speech class? He's out cold for half an hour. His parents 100% accepting him when he told them he was Gay? He fell over and hit his head on the edge of the counter, requiring stitches. Finding out that Race had his soulmate experience and not knowing who? Boom, he's on the ground.
He tries? So hard? To not? He knows it’s the most Extra thing about him, but when he gets nervous his head just starts spinning and then he’s down. He hides it from people mostly, especially with public speaking, because he’s really good? At slam poetry and he loves it so he gets over that one before he’s done with highschool but other than that? He goes down so easily.
It’s really concerning? One time the entire group was watching like, The Exorcist or some horror movie like that and Spot was sitting on the couch, kind of leaning forward and sideways against Race and then he’s on the ground and people are like ???? what the hell? and Race’s response is “yeah he does that.”
Spot’s contact name in Race and Jack’s phones is Fainting Goat because of it. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense, either. Like usually, the reason is apparent, he’s stressed or something scary happened, sometimes it’s like, he’s having a bad day and then his headphones catch on the kitchen cabinet and he’s on the ground. One time he passed out in a pizza place because there was an olive on his pizza and he hates olives. People tried to cal 911 and Race was like, relax, he’ll wake up in a second, just make sure there’s no olives on his pizza next time.
When he proposes to Race? “Will you marry me? *passes out for half an hour, wakes up to a text saying “yes but I went to get pizza”*
Sometimes it does end up scary, though, when he falls in the wrong place. He’s hurt his head before from landing wrong, one time he fall down a few flights of stairs and broke his wrist, the worst was when he passed out from riding his bike for too long and he went down off the side of the path and ended up needing a hospital visit.
His wedding day? Passed out at the altar. High school graduation? Out cold instead of giving his valedictorian speech. Watching Race’s track meets in college? Passed out from getting too into it. His head just starts moving so fast it’s overwhelming and then it shuts down.
“I assume I have you to thank for my dinner?” “You’re very perceptive.” “Well, I would know. I was the first one to send a message via pizza.” “Right. ‘Sorry I’m such an asshole’, as I recall.” “Keen memory. I have a couple of questions, though.” “Shoot.” “First of all, how did you know I like olives on my pizza?” “Lucky guess.” “Fair enough. More importantly…what exactly makes me a coward?” “…If you have to ask, you really don’t know yourself at all, do you?”