older-works

The Friend in Boyfriend

Genre: Fluff

Member: Changkyun

Word Count: 2,314

a/n: I’m complete trash for this fake boyfriend series I have started.



Holiday season was either a dreadful season, or a very exciting one for you. Once surrounded by your family, the spotlight could forget you entirely, or focus on you for a good five minutes, which was more than enough time for everyone to bring up your dark past or nonexistent present. It only seemed to worsen as you got older, because work and relationships seemed to be the personal favorites of everyone.

Living away was always a bonus for holidays though, you could either choose to spend them with yourself or with friends, or go back home. However you had used up your last holidays to be away from home, so this time around you were going to have to wear thick skin and go home.

Changkyun had no particular schedule for this season, so you decided to have him tag along with you, and as the two of you drove back to your hometown, your nerves began to pile up high until you were about ready to combust.

“I don’t want to see anyone” you blurted and Changkyun turned to you from the driver’s seat with a blank expression, “W-Why?” he asked softly, turning back to look at the road. You groaned and leaned your head against the window with a thump, “They know I’m going so they invited everyone and I’m scared- they’re snakes!” you whined, covering your face and bringing your knees up to your chest as you hugged them. Changkyun smiled, “You’re so mean, they probably miss you a lot” he said, occasionally glancing over at you as you curled up on yourself.

He was right. They were your family and probably only meant good, but sometimes you realized they just didn’t really filter any of their comments on your life.

“I know… I’m just nervous” you admitted and that was that for your worries. Until you were standing at the doorway of your house, Changkyun patting his clothes a little and fixing his hair as you breathed in and out before knocking. As soon as you did, you heard the voices on the other side and recognized your aunts and cousins and your parents, making you gasp and suddenly take Changkyun’s hand. He shot you a look of shock and before either of you could say anything about it, the door opened and your mother stood at the entrance, with nearly everyone you could recognize standing behind her.


You knew they had noticed your skinship with him, because looks of surprise and thrill arose as well as those of judgement. Your mother held one of thrill as she greeted the two of you with hugs and brought you inside, your hand still tight on Changkyun’s as he held yours gently and very reluctantly. You refused to let him go, for some reason your brain was able to be more grounded as you said your hello’s and how’ve you been’s with him by your side. Everyone sat at the living room on the couches, or dining table, some even on the floor, all eyes on the two of you as you entered and sat at the couch side by side.

Someone began to make small talk with you as everyone else settled, “How have you been Y/N? How’s school?” they asked and you finally let go of Changkyun’s hand so that you could run your hands over your lap, “Good, I’ve been really good, and school has been very busy but I’m doing well there too” you replied with a smile that felt too tight on your lips. “Y/N, aren’t you going to introduce us to this young man?” your mother then interrupted and you could feel everyone staring at Changkyun now, and it made you want to find the closest blanket or curtain to throw over him and protect him from any criticism.

“O-Oh, yeah, he’s Changkyun, everyone…” you started and met his gaze nervously as he smiled kindly and exchanged looks with a few people, “Um, Changkyun, she’s my mom, and that’s my dad” you then added, pointing at your parents who came up to Changkyun to shake his hand as he stood up and did the same with them, bidding everyone else a small wave before sitting down.

A few prying eyes begged for you to continue, to further introduce him and you knew exactly what question snaked behind their teeth, so out of impulse and sudden selfishness, you gave them what they wanted.

“Changkyun this is my family, and family, this is my boyfriend Changkyun” you said confidently, earning the reactions you were currently reveling in, with the exception of your now apparent boyfriend, who didn’t look at you but you knew wanted to smack you across the face and yell what did you just say?


Just like that, tension subsided between your family and you, but only thickened between Changkyun and you. Everyone caught up and decided to settle down to eat, in the meantime, while everyone was busy, Changkyun pulled you aside, “Show me where your bedroom used to be” he said through a very forced smile, and had the situation been different, you would have teased him about it. However you excused yourself and led him to your bedroom, nearly being pushed inside by him as he then closed the door behind him and turned to you. “Why would you say that? Why didn’t you at least warn me?” he spewed, his voice low and hushed, almost making you feel scolded.

“I know I’m sorry it just came out but just do this for me please, I’ll do anything for you after this is over but just do me this one favor” you begged, taking his arms and nearly dropping to your knees had he not held you in place. He sighed loudly and looked over his shoulder then back at you, “Do you know how nervous this makes me? I was already feeling awkward- Y/N I’m an awkward person, granted you would have probably been better off without me as your boyfriend” he rushed and it made you giggle despite the circumstance.

“I know- no, you’re great, just be you it’s okay” you tried, patting his shoulders and giving him a once over and nodding to yourself, “You’re good looking, that’s more than enough” you then added and Changkyun grinned but covered his face and groaned, “Oh my god” he said, then  patting his chest with one hand to soothe his nerves. “Don’t be nervous, it makes me nervous” you then said and he raised his eyebrows, his ministrations coming to an instant halt, “Okay, okay- no you know what, I’m nervous now, just give me a second” he said through a whisper and you chuckled, standing before him for a few seconds before leading him back towards the door as you opened it.

He was shy, but you could tell everyone liked him, he also stuck close to you at all times, occasionally pinching your shirt when you’d stray away and he couldn’t grasp your hand or arm. He feared being cornered by someone and being ultimately interviewed all by his lonesome. He couldn’t escape the questions when they came from your parents, and he always replied with small nods and attempts at answering as politely as possible, but stammering a few times before you were chiming in to his rescue. He didn’t need it much anyway, he was fairly good and your parents were more than satisfied. You were sure at some point he had even gotten comfortable enough with everyone because eventually, he’d stay at least a few feet away from you, that was more than enough progress for you.

You hadn’t realized the burden you had placed on his shoulders until the day got closer to an end, and he no longer smiled much, his shoulders slumping slightly. Everyone stayed until midnight and only then did you get a moment to yourself with Changkyun as the two of you brought your luggage to your bedroom.

“You okay?” you asked in concern, as the two of you arranged your belongings. Changkyun nodded and offered you a small half smile, sitting at the edge of your small bed and scrolling through his cellphone. You looked away and sighed, sitting at his side and leaning your head against his shoulder as you watched the contents on his phone. “I can tell you’re tired… I mean, you used up a lot of energy in charming everyone” you commented jokingly and caught him smile sheepishly. He didn’t mind you looking, and the two of you stayed there for a few quiet minutes until you were hooking your arm with his and he was putting his cellphone away. “Changkyun… I’m sorry” you said softly, still hearing your family chat in the kitchen. Changkyun hummed and then sighed, letting his gaze fall on his lap as you turned to look at him, “I’m really sorry…” you repeated and he gave you a warm smile, shaking his head a little and meeting your gaze for a little before you were looking away a bit flustered.

“It’s okay, I just wish I would have had more time to mentally prepare myself for this” he commented with a chuckle and you moaned in guilt, burying your face against his arm as he glanced at you. “I wasn’t planning on dragging you down with me, I feel really bad… But you took it like a champ” you admitted but all Changkyun did was lean his head against yours and shake it, “Do you feel better about seeing your family though?” he asked and you took in a deep breath and nodded. The burden had been shared, and you no longer felt like your self-esteem had been walked all over by your family members. “Thank you, boyfriend” you joked, making him grin, “You’re welcome girlfriend” he replied, the two of you chuckling lightly.

The word made him a little weak as it escaped your lips, it was no burden to have him play your boyfriend, he’d do it any time, but he would have wanted to meet your parents after he’d confessed his feelings for you. Had it all worked out differently, he would have been much more prepared to meet your parents as your real boyfriend.

“You were great, they’re gonna miss you when we’re gone” you commented and he chuckled, “What are you going to tell them later on?” he asked and you moved away and sighed, letting your shoulders drop with a shrug, “That we broke up or something” you stated and Changkyun pressed his lips into a line as you met his gaze. He looked away and toyed with the ring on his index finger, one you always insisted he should wear because you were convinced rings were made for his hands. “Let’s say, hypothetically, your family really wanted to see both of us again, would we do this again or would you just turn the invitation down and say we broke up?” he asked and you knitted your eyebrows in amusement as you smiled in thought, “I don’t know… I feel bad bringing you” you said and Changkyun nodded, raising his eyebrows in acknowledgement, “Makes sense, but what if I told you I could do this any time?” he then countered. You stared at him quizzically and chuckled, “Why would you? This is terrible and annoying, and eventually they’ll start attacking your self-esteem too” you said jokingly but with a hint of seriousness. “But what if I’m okay with it?” he pushed and your smile faltered as you met his expression, you knew he was looking at you and things were breaking away from the hypothetical. “Why would you be?” you asked again and Changkyun smiled shyly, looking away and shrugging sweetly, “Hypothetically speaking, I could enjoy being your boyfriend” he admitted and your heart jumped, making you freeze in your spot as you stared at the floor.

He then cleared his throat and stood up slowly, letting out an exhale and patting his clothes down, “That’s okay if it’s not what you want” he then said, making his way to the door of your bedroom as you watched him. “Wait no don’t go out there yet, we can’t just leave this conversation hanging” you stated, getting up as well. You couldn’t go back to your family and have him hold you close with genuine feelings while you pondered on them, that’d be using him knowing this was no longer a fake situation and that was definitely not a path you were going down on.

Changkyun turned to you and smiled awkwardly, “If it makes you uncomfortable-” he started but you cut him off, “It doesn’t, but you just kind of threw a curveball at me” you said with a chuckle and he grinned. “I had thought about us together before, but I didn’t think you ever wanted it so I didn’t… Really push for it” you confessed and his eyes widened, “You should have said something!” he said raising his voice in disbelief and you quickly made your way to him and hushed him. The two of you sniggered and you leaned your head against his chest, gripping his arms and trying hard not to laugh loudly. He held your arms as well and you felt him chuckle, making you look up at him and suddenly you were looking at him in a different light.

“So no more lying, okay? We’re actually dating now” he said and you nodded, leaning forward to peck his cheek, “I’m glad we came to terms with it now, any sooner and I don’t think I would have kept my hands to myself” you said with a wink to which Changkyun grinned at sheepishly before opening the door while he held your hand, “You’ve been keeping them to yourself?” he joked and you snorted.

I’m looking for *nonbinary people 60 years old or older.

I am working on a musical from the perspective of a nonbinary person from hearing about stonewall through now. About the experiences they went through. And I need some first person perspective.

You will be credited in the musical and if it ever gets big enough to make money you will definitely get to see it for free.

If you are interested contact me (Savy) at outsidebinaries@gmail.com you can also contact me at aceitup.tumblr.com

Keep reading

Ways to enhance your intuition

Exercises:

These exercises can be done in two ways. You can either pick one paper up and try to guess what is on the paper, or you can think of a paper and try to find it in the pieces of paper. If you feel you need more pieces of paper by all means add more. If you work with deities, your higher self, spirits of any sorts, please feel free to invite them to help you with these exercises, if you’d like.

  • The number exercise: cut four, same sized pieces of paper with the numbers 1-4 written on them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Pick one up and try to guess which number it is.
  • The shape exercise: cut four, same sized pieces of paper, and draw a star, a heart, a circle and a cube on them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Pick one up and try to guess which shape it is.
  • The color exercise: cut four, same size pieces of paper, and add a different color to all of them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Try to guess which paper has which color on them.
  • The quiz exercise: find a quiz online that you know nothing about - this may be a science quiz, a pop culture quiz, a quiz about a band, or the Viking history quiz. Take the quiz and try to guess the answers.
  • The object exercise: Get a older object, works best if it’s given by a friend do you and examine it. Try to pick up the objects energies and try to see/hear/smell the person that the object is tied to. It’s best done with a friend because they will most likely know some information about the person and they can tell if you’re right or wrong.
  • The card exercise: Pick one card up from a deck and try to see the color, the shape and the number of that card. You can also do this with tarot cards, try to feel the cards energies.
  • Divination: it’s a great exercise for enhancing your psychic abilities and the range of tools you can do divination with is enormous. So, find the one that calls to you and start divining. 

In my experience these are the main exercises which you can sit and work on but they’re not the only ones. Intuition can be worked on throughout the day even in the most mundane tasks:

  • Try to guess who texted you or is calling you before you pick up the phone.
  • If other people cook for you, try to guess what you’re having for lunch before seeing it.
  • Try to pick up what your friend is going to tell you before they do.
  • Try to guess when the light is going to turn green at a traffic light.
  • Think of a person, and try seeing what they’re doing at the moment. After you’re done, ask them whatsup.
  • When talking to a friend on the phone try to see what they’re wearing, what their hair is like, and/or what they’re doing and ask them.
  • When you get up try to sense what the weather is going to be like today.
  • When at the store and you’re waiting in line try to sense how much the person before you needs to pay.
  • Tell a friend to think of a number and try to guess that number.
  • When listening to music on shuffle, try to sense what the next song is going to be.
  • When people close to you talk on the phone try and sense who they’re talking to and ask them afterwards. (only if they’re comfortable with it, not all people would like their privacy invaded, my friends and family know why I’m doing that so they’re cool with it)
  • Try to sense what a close friends text is saying before you open it, or try to sense why they’re calling you.

These are all I can think of a t the moment, hopefully in the future I’m going to add more. Basically anytime, anywhere when you have some space left to guess what’s going to happen, do it.

MEDITATION: I can’t stress how important meditation is, especially to witches, mages, shamans, and all occult practitioners in general. I know it sounds boring when people tell you to meditate but we all need some time to relax and clear our heads. And in the moments of blissful relaxation we let out soul speak to us the most thus coming into our strongest potential where we can energetically change our DNA and rewire our brains. In the moment of deep relaxation you can focus on cleansing your pineal gland / increasing your intuition. 

I like to imagine purple/indigo color and lavender flowers coming out of my pineal gland spreading and covering my whole body and aura. I also like to imagine roots stretching from my pineal gland bursting through my forehead opening an eye in the centre of it. I like to massage the centre of my forehead, and I like taping an amethyst to it lol.

There are lots of guided meditations on youtube, which are extremely helpful, and there are lots of binaural beats and isochronic tones, which are also very helpful. Just find your comfort zone to working on the pineal gland and focus on it. Don’t feel bad if per say, isochronic tones don’t work for you but storm sounds do work. Find your comfort zone and work within it.

Also you might want to check out Sun Gazing, which is a very powerful exercise you’re going to need to dedicate yourself to. 

Pineal gland detoxification: 

  • Avoid ingesting fluoride - I know this is hard, seeing at the people on top put fluoride in literally everything knowing what it’s doing to our brains. But there are alternatives, the internet is a huge place and you can find almost everything there. Avoid fluoridated water, fluoridated toothpaste, GMO fruits and vegetables, soda, all artificial foods and drinks. Try to eat healthy and organically and if possible reduce eating meat - and cutting it off completely. 
  • Avoid sleeping with technology in your room if possible - this means wireless routers, mobile phones, computers etc. The pineal gland is suppressed by electro magnetic fields.
  • Avoid or if you can, completely cut off all sugar, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol and drugs.


Once you’ve detoxified your body and pineal gland it’s time to start working on activating and boosting your pineal gland:

  • Spend time in sunlight every day - or as much as you can. Practice sungazing as well, and it is best done when the sun has risen or in the moments it’s going away because the sun is the weakest then and it can’t harm your eyes and it won’t bother you.
  • Oils and incense - 
  • Sleep and meditate in complete darkness.
  • Commit to meditation every day.
  • Dedicate rituals to your third eye - whether it be a bath ritual, once in a full moon ritual, a day of the week ritual, or whenever you feel like it ritual, do it.
  • Practice yoga, especially Yoga Nidra as it is the most powerful yogic practice to increase the blood flow to your pineal gland.
  • Eat food that boosts the pineal gland - raw cocoa, coconut oil, lemon - the body’s best friend, basically the master of detox, garlic, raw apple cider vinegar, goji berries, watermelon, honey, hemp seeds, iodine, vitamin K1/K2, boron, bananas, alkaine food, chlorophyll rich foods, oregano oil, sea moss, walnuts, turmeric and melatonin.
  • Crystals that stimulate the pineal gland - amethyst, lapis lazuli, clear quartz, moonstone, sodalite. You can meditate with these crystals on your forehead daily, you can tape a crystal on your forehead and stay like that for a while, or you can massage your forehead with it.
  • Chant - there are a lot of chants to boost your pineal gland, you can google some, I’ve found that OM works best for me.
  • Plants that enhance intuition - ginger, gotu kola, ginkgo, skullcap, elder leaf, berries and flower, fennel, lavender, lemongrass, saffron, bay leaves, rosemary, honey suckle, anise, eyebright, lotus, mimosa, sandalwood, burning acacia, cinnamon, buchu leaves, celery, lilac, mint, mugwort, solomons leaf, frankincense, jasmine, lemon, peppermint, rose, sage, vanilla and star anise.
  • Oils - bay laurel, carrot seed, galbanum, german chamomile, grapefruit, myrrh, nutmeg, palo santo, petitgrain, roman chamomile, sandalwood, st. john’s wort, angelica root, eleni, juniper, frankincense, rosemary and patchouli.
  • Incense - ambergris, bay leaf, anise, cinnamon, frankincense, honeysuckle, jasmine, lemon, lemongrass, lotus, magnolia, peppermint, rose, sage, sandalwood, vanilla, heliotrope, basil and eucalyptus. 

And most important of all - trust your gut! The problem with not listening to our intuition is when our rational, logical mind interferes and tries to come up with logical solutions as to why your intuition is wrong. Whenever you get that gut feeling, just go with it, don’t question it. Also always remember to protect yourself when working on your pineal gland, seeing as we are more open and vulnerable to psychic attacks during these moments.

Zevran Arainai was born in 9:04-9:05 Dragon, making him ~40 years old at the time of the Trespasser events in Inquisition in 9:44 Dragon, and I would love to see more art of middle-aged looking Zevran. Especially in DA4 speculative works. Beautiful older Zevran, please. Laugh lines, crows feet (teehee), threads of silver/grey hair.

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GOT7
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GOT7 | Face

WASHINGTON POST

Millions of older Americans, too broke to retire, plan to work until they die


Richard Dever had swabbed the campground shower stalls and emptied 20 garbage cans, and now he climbed slowly onto a John Deere mower to cut a couple acres of grass.

“I’m going to work until I die, if I can, because I need the money,” said Dever, 74, who drove 1,400 miles to this Maine campground from his home in Indiana to take a temporary job that pays $10 an hour.

Dever shifted gently in the tractor seat, a rubber cushion carefully positioned to ease the bursitis in his hip — a snapshot of the new reality of old age in America.

People are living longer, more expensive lives, often without much of a safety net. As a result, record numbers of Americans older than 65 are working — now nearly 1 in 5. That proportion has risen steadily over the past decade, and at a far faster rate than any other age group. Today, 9 million senior citizens work, compared with 4 million in 2000.

While some work by choice rather than need, millions of others are entering their golden years with alarmingly fragile finances. Fundamental changes in the U.S. retirement system have shifted responsibility for saving from the employer to the worker, exacerbating the nation’s rich-poor divide. Two recent recessions devastated personal savings. And at a time when 10,000 baby boomers are turning 65 every day, Social Security benefits have lost about a third of their purchasing power since 2000.

Polls show that most older people are more worried about running out of money than dying.

“There is no part of the country where the majority of middle-class older workers have adequate retirement savings to maintain their standard of living in their retirement,” said Teresa Ghilarducci, a labor economist who specializes in retirement security. “People are coming into retirement with a lot more anxiety and a lot less buying power.”

As a result, many older workers are hitting the road as work campers — also called “workampers” — those who shed costly lifestyles, purchase RVs and travel the nation picking up seasonal jobs that typically offer hourly wages and few or no benefits.

(Continue Reading)

Everything old is new again

“Love cosmetics were anti-cosmetics, makeup for a time—and a generation—at war with the pretense and falseness of makeup.”

“It was a strange, even paradoxical claim for a brand of cosmetics to be making, but it seemed to work: while older brands were said to mask and conceal the user’s selfhood, Love enhanced her individuality, allowed her real nature to come to the surface: "You’ve got a complexion worth seeing. You don’t need make-ups that blank you out. Ours won’t. Ours can’t.”

“The products themselves came in radically simplified packages, basic cylinders rather than the elaborate faux-crystal decanters of other brands. They bore whimsical instructions printed on the bottles in earnest, sans-serif typefaces.”

(Thomas Frank, The Conquest of Cool)


Just Say It (Bill Skarsgard x Reader)

requested: Hi! Could you please do a Bill Skarsgard X Reader imagine? So (Y/N) played Roman’s (Bill’s character) best friend / crush in Hemlock Grove and after the show ends, they see each other in IT premiere because (Y/N) is accompanying her brother Jackson (Who plays Georgie). Just fluff and Bill and (Y/N) are in love but they don’t know and Jackson spills that they like each other. Thanks! Your works are amazing!

Word Count: 1576

Warnings: some mature language ?

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting, this is such a good idea!

Originally posted by jonerysloveboat

There’s something scarily intoxicating about the acting industry. It’s like a siren beautifully singing to lure you closer and closer to the cliffs, waiting for a fatal collision. Yet (to her family’s dismay) it had affected Y/N - and now her little brother, Jackson. Their father had been a lawyer and their mother a teacher; both reliable jobs meant to procure a salary and stability. They had tried so hard to instill the idea of the American Dream and all that nonsense into their children.

Self-destruction must skip a generation, Y/N supposed.

Y/N had spent most of her acting career twiddling her thumbs as she waited for auditions and call backs that never came. She did her best to present everything good and unique about herself on resumes, but (nine times out of ten) not even that was good enough. It was disappointing to say the least and depressing to say the most. Initially, she didn’t want Jackson to pursue acting either. All the experiences he’d miss, like all the experiences she missed, could never be replaced. All the self deprecation and angst and the thoughts of ‘I’m not good enough’ - how in God’s name could she wish that upon her baby brother? But, as she sat in the backseat of a white limo, little Jackson sitting across from her, she acknowledged how wrong she had been. He was wearing such an expensive tuxedo, yet he was still pressing his nose to the window’s glass and making patterns with the fog. He wasn’t missing experiences - he was making them. Like a kid should.

It was her mother who first brought it all to light one evening over dinner, It wasn’t all bad, she had said after shoveling runny mashed potatoes onto her plate. And that was true; Y/N had played Odette Polinsky on Hemlock Grove. She was barely eighteen when she got the role and, though job single-handedly saved her career, yet it wasn’t even a completely positive memory.

Y/N was the youngest cast member on Hemlock Grove, and was completely (and pathetically) infatuated with a boy who saw her as nothing more as a friend. She had to witness the endless stream of girls come and go, as he conquered them and moved on.

“Did you talk to Ellie?” He whispered in Y/N’s ear during the show’s second season. He was leaning on his chair, with his elbow propping up his chin as he smiled boyishly. She tried to ignore the tingles as they ran down her spine, swallowing thickly. Ellie was his latest prize and she was constantly prancing around set in tube tops and denim short shorts. He followed her like a moth to a flame.

“Ya, I - I did. She really - likes you.” She managed to splutter out. Sometimes, when she was concentrating and focused, she could pretend conversations with him where just a scene. Their interactions all had a script, she would tell herself, therefore there’s no reason to panic. But this was not one of those days.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed as he scratched his chin with his thumb and index finger. He cocked his eyebrow at her and smiled, his lips slightly parted. He was so close to her, that she could smell his cologne - oranges and mint. Y/N had to stop herself from closing her eyes and leaning in.

“Well, catch you later Oddi!” He said quickly, as he briskly stood up from his chair and cracked his knuckles.

“See you Roman.” She replied quietly to herself.

Said boy just so happens to star alongside Jackson. She wondered if he still smelt the same like oranges and mint, maybe he even was -

Y/N shook her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders. She couldn’t think about him today, today was Jackson’s day. Besides he had every other damn day to consume her thoughts. She would avoid him and that was that.

“Y/N! Y/N! Look! Look!” Jackson was pointing as he stared at all the flashing cameras and interviewers with microphones stood at the ready. His eyes lit up as he spoke and he smiled that dimpled smile of pure joy. Make those experiences, Jackson, thought Y/N as she smiled and stared with him. Soon enough they were parked and helped out of a limo by a wide shouldered man who fistbumped Jackson. Y/N smoothed out her silver dress (hoping to God, there were no wrinkles) and touched the earrings on her ears (those bad boys cost as much as a mortgage).

The boy bounded outside of the limo and was immediately bombarded by interviewers and questions (“How was working with older actors?” “We’re you scared?” “Are you going to see the movie?”).

Y/N stifled a laugh as she caught up to Jackson, making sure to look more confident than she really was in her black pumps. She subtly pointed in attempts to direct his attention to an interview who looked kind enough. Immediately the young boy caught on, at seven years old he was more aware of social cues then Y/N. Y/N went off to stand next to her parents, making sure to stay in direct earshot.

“Hello!” Jackson exclaimed happily, interlocking his fingers and letting his arms go slack. He looked so professional and gentlemanly, Y/N could’ve sang.

“Hello there Jackson! It’s so great to talk to you!” The interview knelt a bit, getting down to his level. She was tilting the microphone towards his mouth as she smiled genuinely.

“And you!”

“Thank you very much! Anyway, so both you and your sister have both worked with Bill Skarsgard right?”

Oh boy here it is.

“Yep!” Jackson said just as happily.

“How did you like it?!”

“Well, his costume is kinda scary but I saw him - em - get ready and stuff so - so it wasn’t too bad. I mean, eating me was kinda scary but not too too bad. He’s actually really nice and a really good actor and he told me a lot of stories about my sister and a lot of them were really funny but some of them weren’t really funny.” Jackson rambled, his tongue was officially detached from his brain. Now it wagged along in his jaw.

“What were the not so funny stories?” The interviewer asked puzzled, as she tried to reposition herself so the microphone was right underneath Jackson.

C’mon kid. I love ya. I care for ya. I support ya in all aspects of life. But if you say some of those not so funny stories, you better hope to God you - Y/N’s mind was in complete freefall, every secret fantasy, dream, and hope was currently abandoning ship.

Jackson, giddy as ever, had no problem wagging his tongue some more. He took a deep breath of air before saying, “Well, he told me about how sometimes on the show he would try to - um - get her attention and it never really worked and she never liked him. He told me that she thought he was, well, I dunno what it means so it could be a bad word … ”

“Go on, I’ll make sure it isn’t a bad word.” The interviewer egged on. Y/N was starting to like this woman less and less.

“He said that she thought he was a player.” The interviewer just laughed and assured him that ‘player’ was not in fact a bad word before asking him other questions about the movie.

Y/N looked around her as if to say, Did anyone else just hear that? Her jaw was now completely slack as she hung it open stupidly. Her shoulders unstraightened, her back slouched, and she had to check to make sure that the earrings were still hanging from her ears.

“Did you hear that?” A familiar voice asked in her ear as tingles shot down her spine. Y/N looked up at the tall god that was Bill Skarsgard and nodded fiercely, as she felt her forehead with the back of her hand. Was she ill? Because now she was feeling a bit feverish in this dress.

“Did you really?” He asked again, looking down at his shoes and smirking, his lips just parted. She just nodded again. “Well, I suppose the truth is out there.” His slight accent on the word ‘there’ caused Y/N to smile widely.

“I never thought you were a player. I thought you were …  popular.” Y/N finally said, breaking the tension. Bill tipped his head back, his hands in the pockets of his tailored trousers, and gave the heartiest laugh. The breeze caught his hair and Y/N could smell oranges and mint on the wind.

Once he had stopped laughing, all Y/N could think was just say it, just say it.

“I - uh - I well I was trying as much as - I - well wanted your attention too.” Y/N finally spoke out, raising her voice to make sure he heard it too. “Wow - I always thought you didn’t like me and I want you to kno-”

“HEY CAN WE GET A PHOTO OF YOU GUYS?!” A photographer interjected the sweet moment much to Y/N’s dismay. But Bill snaked his hand on her waist and softly pulled her into him, so she was pressed into his long torso. She smiled at the small gesture, looking down at his hand as she felt him smile down on her.

I’m still in my planning phase for future work, so I’ve been looking back at older work a lot lately. This is yet another piece I wish to draw more from.


“Phalacrocorax auritus”, 2015, Ball point pen, Ink pencils, Acrylic ink, Marker, Colored pencil, Graphite, and Gel pen on Hot-Pressed Watercolor Paper, 18 ¼ x 24in, framed: 22 ¼ in x  28 in. sold.


I have been more active on my instagram than anything else lately, so if you are interested in seeing more frequent posts, or posts dealing with my process, please follow me on there! @laurenmarxart all lower case. <3

guide to the first week of college

hey guys! i’ll be starting my sophomore year of college in just over a week (!!), and while i’m not new to the whole college thing, i will be new to my school this year as a transfer student, so i wanted to share these tips for y’all !

  • figure out where all your classes are beforehand - there’s nothing worse than being late on the first day, especially if you have small classes. don’t start off on the wrong foot! hopefully you’ll have some sort of orientation/tour that shows you the basics, but if you’re living on campus, you’ll likely be at school before the first day of classes - use this extra time to get familiar with campus and find out where all your classrooms are (not just the buildings, find the actual class if possible - some buildings are ridiculously complicated as far as room numbers go, trust me!). if you’re commuting to school, try to come an hour or so early to do this as much as you can (and you can also use time between classes to figure out where you’re headed!)
  • become friendly with the people around you - whether this be your roommate, the people sitting next to you in class, or the other people on your floor, it’s always nice to be on good terms with as many people as possible. make friends early - even if they don’t stick (and a lot of early friendships don’t), it’s nice to know a lot of people! get to know people in your classes, even though it’s harder to do this than it might’ve been in high school since often you just have the one class together. you never know when you’ll have to miss a class, and having someone to get notes from is such a relief (also study buddies !! super important !!)
  • wait until you’ve gone to class to buy textbooks - a lot of teachers will tell you that you don’t really need it, or that an older edition works just fine. whatever the case, it usually doesn’t hurt to wait to buy textbooks until you’re at school (plus, if you’re like me you may end up dropping the class you already bought 7 books for)
  • try out different study spots - there are so many places on a college campus to study: your dorm room, dorm lounges, library, student union, coffee shops, random class buildings, the quad - try them out and see what works best for you! a change of scenery can go a long way toward helping your productivity!
  • call your fam - they probably already miss you and with so much new stuff going on you’re bound to have lots to say - don’t get too caught up in the hustle and bustle of a new year!
  • get comfy with your dorm room - this is your new home for the year, make it work for you! it should be your happy place. figure out good storage systems. & try to have a good relationship w ur roomie(s)! 
  • keep ahead on homework - it’s easy to put it off when it still feels like summer, but come next week you’ll likely be drowning in work and lack of free time - do as much as you can as soon as you can, future you will thank you!
  • look into a job on campus - see how your class schedule plays out, and see if working on campus is a good idea for you. there are so many options and there are usually still a lot of openings by the first week, so take advantage of it now before all the positions fill up for the semester! (also from personal experience working in a dining hall is decidedly Not Fun, would not recommend), however
  • be kind to the maintenance workers and kitchen staff - as well as other workers on campus. usually they go unnoticed, but they’re (from my experience) so so kind when you take the time to say hi and ask them how they are. the kitchen staff i worked with in the dhall were some of the sweetest people i met on campus last year
  • keep your door open and hang out in your floor lounge - (if you have one) first week is prime time to meet new people, since everyone goes into it brand new. keep your door open and have convos with people who walk by (maybe have some treats and invite them in to share - everyone loves free food !). so many of my friends were made by “studying” (i use the term loosely haha) in the lounge
  • go to events - they’re probably free and often give out free food/goodies/t-shirts, plus they’re a good way to meet people and see what sorts of things you can get involved with on campus! esp if you have an involvement fair with clubs presenting, go and try to go to the first meeting of any club that sounds interesting to u! there’s no commitment to keep coming back if it isn’t for you, and you never know what amazing groups of people you could meet! i’d recommend only going to two or three clubs regularly though, any more than that can be a bit much (and try to balance fun with academic! - my last school even had a stationery club)

if you have any questions about college/that first week, please feel free to ask me! (also tag me in ur dorm room pics bc i love that stuff!) good luck w uni, frends!

The Okinawan Language

Anybody who has studied Japanese and Linguistics will know that Japanese is a part of the Japonic language family. For many years it was thought that Japanese was a language isolate, unrelated to any other language (Although there is some debate as to whether or not Japanese and Korean are related).

Today, most linguists are in agreement that Japanese is not an isolate. The Japonic languages are split into two groups:

Japanese (日本語) and its dialects, which range from standard Eastern Japanese (東日本方言) to the various dialects found on Kyūshū (九州日本方言), which are, different, to say the least.

The Ryukyuan Languages (琉球語派). Which are further subdivided into Northern and Southern Ryukyuan languages. Okinawan is classified as a Northern Ryukyuan Languages. There are a total of 6 Ryukyuan languages, each with its own dialects. The Ryukyuan languages exist on a continuum, somebody who speaks Okinawan will have a more difficult time understanding the Yonaguni Language, which is spoken on Japan’s southernmost populated island.

Japanese and Okinawan (I am using the Naha dialect of Okinawan because it was the standard language of the Ryukyu Kingdom), are not intelligible. Calling Okinawan a dialect of Japanese is akin to calling Dutch a dialect of English. It is demonstrably false. Furthermore, there is an actual Okinawan dialect of Japanese, which borrows elements from the Okinawan language and infuses it with Japanese.

So, where did the Ryukyuan languages come from? This is a question that goes hand in hand with theories about where Ryukyuan people come from. George Kerr, author of Okinawan: The History of an Island People (An old book, but necessary read if you’re interested in Okinawa), theorised that Ryukyuans and Japanese split from the same population, with one group going east to Japan from Korea, whilst the other traveled south to the Ryukyu Islands.

“In the language of the Okinawan country people today the north is referred to as nishi, which Iha Fuyu (An Okinawn scholar) derives from inishi (’the past’ or ‘behind’), whereas the Japanese speak of the west as nishi. Iha suggests that in both instances there is preserved an immemorial sense of the direction from which migration took place into the sea islands.”
(For those curious, the Okinawan word for ‘west’ is いり [iri]).
But, it must be stated that there are multiple theories as to where Ryukyuan and Japanese people came from, some say South-East Asia, some say North Asia, via Korea, some say that it is a mixture of the two. However, this post is solely about language, and whilst the relation between nishi in both languages is intriguing, it is hardly conclusive.

With that said, the notion that Proto-Japonic was spoken by migrants from southern Korea is somewhat supported by a number of toponyms that may be of Gaya origin (Or of earlier, unattested origins). However, it also must be said, that such links were used to justify Japanese imperialism in Korea.

Yeah, when it comes to Japan and Korea, and their origins, it’s a minefield.

What we do know is that a Proto-Japonic language was spoken around Kyūshū, and that it gradually spread throughout Japan and the Ryukyu Islands. The question of when this happened is debatable. Some scholars say between the 2nd and 6th century, others say between the 8th and 9th centuries. The crucial issue here, is the period in which proto-Ryukyuan separated from mainland Japanese.

“The crucial issue here is that the period during which the proto-Ryukyuan separated(in terms of historical linguistics) from other Japonic languages do not necessarily coincide with the period during which the proto-Ryukyuan speakers actually settled on the Ryūkyū Islands.That is, it is possible that the proto-Ryukyuan was spoken on south Kyūshū for some time and the proto-Ryukyuan speakers then moved southward to arrive eventually in the Ryūkyū Islands.”

This is a theory supported by Iha Fuyu who claimed that the first settlers on Amami were fishermen from Kyūshū.

This opens up two possibilities, the first is that ‘Proto-Ryukyuan’ split from ‘Proto-Japonic’, the other is that it split from ‘Old-Japanese’. As we’ll see further, Okinawan actually shares many features with Old Japanese, although these features may have existed before Old-Japanese was spoken.

So, what does Okinawan look like?

Well, to speakers of Japanese it is recognisable in a few ways. The sentence structure is essentially the same, with a focus on particles, pitch accent, and a subject-object-verb word order. Like Old Japanese, there is a distinction between the terminal form ( 終止形 ) and the attributive form ( 連体形 ). Okinawan also maintains the nominative function of nu ぬ (Japanese: no の). It also retains the sounds ‘wi’ ‘we’ and ‘wo’, which don’t exist in Japanese anymore. Other sounds that don’t exist in Japanese include ‘fa’ ‘fe’ ‘fi’ ‘tu’ and ‘ti’.

Some very basic words include:

はいさい (Hello, still used in Okinawan Japanese)
にふぇーでーびる (Thank you)
うちなー (Okinawa) 沖縄口 (Uchinaa-guchi is the word for Okinawan)
めんそーれー (Welcome)
やまとぅ (Japan, a cognate of やまと, the poetic name for ‘Japan’)

Lots of Okinawan can be translated into Japanese word for word. For example, a simple sentence, “Let’s go by bus”
バス行こう (I know, I’m being a little informal haha!)
バスっし行ちゃびら (Basu sshi ichabira).
As you can see, both sentences are structured the same way. Both have the same loanword for ‘bus’, and both have a particle used to indicate the means by which something is achieved, ‘で’ in Japanese, is ‘っし’ in Okinawan.

Another example sentence, “My Japanese isn’t as good as his”
彼より日本語が上手ではない (Kare yori nihon-go ga jouzu dewanai).
彼やか大和口ぬ上手やあらん (Ari yaka yamatu-guchi nu jooji yaaran).
Again, they are structured the same way (One important thing to remember about Okinawan romanisation is that long vowels are represented with ‘oo’ ‘aa’ etc. ‘oo’ is pronounced the same as ‘ou’).

Of course, this doesn’t work all of the time, if you want to say, “I wrote the letter in Okinawan”
沖縄語手紙を書いた (Okinawa-go de tegami wo kaita).
沖縄口さーに手紙書ちゃん (Uchinaa-guchi saani tigami kachan).
For one, さーに is an alternate version of っし, but, that isn’t the only thing. Okinawan doesn’t have a direct object particle (を in Japanese). In older literary works it was ゆ, but it no longer used in casual speech.

Introducing yourself in Okinawan is interesting for a few reasons as well. Let’s say you were introducing yourself to a group.
In Japanese you’d say
みんなさこんにちは私はフィリクスです (Minna-san konnichiwa watashi ha Felixdesu)
ぐすよー我んねーフィリクスでぃいちょいびーん (Gusuyoo wan’nee Felix di ichoibiin).
Okinawan has a single word for saying ‘hello’ to a group. It also showcases the topic marker for names and other proper nouns. In Japanese there is only 1, は but Okinawan has 5! や, あー, えー, おー, のー! So, how do you know which to use? Well, there is a rule, typically the particle fuses with short vowels, a → aa, i → ee, u → oo, e → ee, o → oo, n → noo. Of course, the Okinawan pronoun 我ん, is a terrible example, because it is irregular, becoming 我んねー instead of  我んのー or 我んや. Yes. Like Japanese, there are numerous irregularities to pull your hair out over!

I hope that this has been interesting for those who have bothered to go through the entire thing. It is important to discuss these languages because most Ryukyuan languages are either ‘definitely’ or ‘critically’ endangered. Mostly due to Japanese assimilation policies from the Meiji period onward, and World War 2.
The people of Okinawa are a separate ethnic group, with their own culture, history, poems, songs, dances and languages. It would be a shame to lose something that helps to define a group of people like language does.

I may or may not look in the Kyūshū dialects of Japanese next time. I’unno, I just find them interesting.

— aquiver | 02 (m)

aquiver (adj.) [uh-kwiv-er] in a state of trepidation or vibrant agitation; trembling; quivering

pairing— min yoongi x reader
genre/warnings— mature themes, talk of masturbation, smut, language, fluff
words— 11,520

:: summary— Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…

note— inspired by the novella ‘The Grownup’ by Gillian Flynn, literally just the main character’s past occupation haha

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: 07

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MIRRORS. | M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Smut/Angst + Vampire!Taehyung

Warnings: blood play, graphic depictions of death/violence/murder, suicidal thoughts/depression

Word Count: 7,734

Description: The red tint of his eyes were laced with a deadness that perfectly reflected your own. The familiarity kept you returning to him over and over again, you thought that maybe it was just so you could have someone who understood all of the pain. 

A/N: This scenario was inspired by the lyrics from “Mirrors” by PVRIS

NOTE [!]: this was originally supposed to be multiple parts, but i’ve realized that i just don’t think i’ll ever find the motivation to come back and finish this, sorry guys :// i deleted the ending, so now it seems like there’s at least semi-closure at the end (even if the ending isn’t the best) instead of leaving you guys off with that god awful cliffhanger from before. 

cr.


You watched the fragmented colors of orange and red reflect off of the clouds as the sun started to descend below the horizon. The light fall breeze whipped through your hair carrying the invisible scent of your body down into the quickly approaching night life of the city; that gust of air might as well have been a bullet to your head.

They were already stirring. You watched from the rooftop as the citizens ran into their homes, windows were being barred, and the streetlamps suddenly erupted as they prepared to become spotlights for the unlucky; for you.

You looked out at your city one last time, the vantage point of the roof giving you a complete view of the entirety of it all. The corner of your mouth crept into a smile as you said a final goodbye to the miles of spread out land that held all of the beautiful and heart breaking memories from your past twenty years of life.

By the time you made it down the five flights of stairs, and opened the door that led into a dimly lit alleyway, darkness had already imposed itself upon the sky. Even though you had completely accepted the consequences of what you were doing tonight, it still didn’t stop the pang of fear that coursed through your body at the sight of the pitch black scene above you. It was a sight you’d only seen a handful of times in your life, and the memories that accompanied it made you tremble with anxiety.

Shrill screams, blood, maniacal laughter, desperation.

Keep reading

Passionfruit | 3

“To you, matters of the heart have always been simple. You’ve always lived by three rules: you don’t do emotions, you don’t do attachment, and you don’t do love. That is, until you meet the enigma that is Kim Namjoon- a man who shakes your entire world upside down.”

pairing: namjoon x reader
genre: smut, angst
wordcount: 8.4k

part one | two | three

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Beating major d*ck.

Some people just like to use their power to bash people and degrade people publicly. Whenever I encounter these people I like to grasp the situation firmly in hand and beat them down. In this case I give you special piece of crap we shall call D*ck. D*ck is a older guy who has worked for a branch of state law enforcement for many years. He was very vocal about being three years away from full state retirement and about his rank in state gov.

I was working as a contractor doing some I.T. work. We had a large group to move the department forward at least 10 years technology wise. It was all hands on deck to prep computers for the incoming new computers and of course setting up the new ones. In my case as a coder/network grunt I was being ‘borrowed’ and more than happy to help.

D*ck was the only jerk out of at least 300 people I had enjoyably encountered. He complained about anything he could figure to complain about and would go over the departments managers heads to complain. Part of what I was asked to do was inventory their software used, directories mapped, and to copy files to their new network folders. Keep in mind we did a copy of the data and not a move. When new computers arrived the network copy served as a way to making sure the data was backed up before it was cloned over to the new system. D*ck was livid that someone touched his computer and swore we deleted a file we could not find.

I was marched up to his office with my management team and the department’s senior. I promptly found his file on his new system (and on the network). I happened to notice that he had newly installed a newsreader but did not say anything about it. I knew if I called him out on it I would get canned and they would not look into it. Instead I opened the reader while D*ck was bashing me in the hallway to his audience and changed his preferences. Now the files would not delete when they were read or deleted. Keeping in mind this was in the late 90’s and the internet was still a new thing for many. A lot of people would download their porn from newsgroups (usenet) by using a newsreader to download everything new dumped in the selected group (think like a folder). Groups would follow a theme or where supposed to. The reader would put all the pieces together so you could see the images or video and copy them to folders. I was made to apologize  in front of him and marched off in shame. D*ck was really throbbing with all of his smugness.

I was passed off from that project to just doing a rework of some DOS based software. I told my suck up manager that a lot of people were downloading and installing software on their own. My manager clicked that it was work we could be tasked with doing to create billable hours and that he could score suckup points with. This in turn created various email distributions and policy updates. I also point out that we need something about appropriate usage - great! The policy also now highlights that any private use on government equipment is subject to the same rules as fraud - perfect. This helps later because there is NO wiggle room for offenders. In turn my manager was more than pleased with me and treated me golden - hell he even bought me lunch.

I quickly forgot all about D*ck and found myself expanding the list of software that needed to be rewritten by me. This kept me busy and extended my contract. My boss was happy, my agency was happy, and my clients were very happy.

Fast forward few months later. I get back to the office and the bosses are there looking for a coworker. They asked me if I knew anything about d*cks new system and I told them HELL no. They walk off and told me if I saw the coworker to send him over.

When my coworker (who was an employee and not a contractor) returned I told him about the managers, my encounter with Major D*ck and tipped him off about the newsreader. My coworkers eyes lit up and he stood straight like a huge weight had been lifted. It turns out that D*ck once again had senior staff watch the 'stupid idiot’ fix the computer that the “tech broke being incompetent’. Surprise - It turns out it was out of disk space and would not re-start. The tech had to boot from a disk and delete temp files just to boot. In front of everyone the tech points out that one directory was filling the drive with images. Once he had everyone’s attention he then popped open some images. Porn immediately filled the screen including some very sketchy stuff from what I hear.

The tech was ushered out and D*ck lost his job. Instead of putting D*ck into jail they covered asses and terminated him. No job, no power, and pension for you D*CK.

Sea food department and how I got written up the first and only time

So I was on a fourteen hour shift on New year’s eve to steam shrimp for hours on end in horrifying quantities.

People were buying shrimp because they wanted their mudbug appetizers for their new year’s parties and whatnot but many customers who had not come for shrimp were ordering them because they could smell the shrimp and seasoning as I worked tirelessly.

I had orders to fill for people that had called up to a week ahead to reserve shrimp. I had a list and pounds of shrimp stored away to thaw in the cooler.

By 9:00pm we were out of shrimp that was not already reserved for the customers who had called in.

A man in his thirties wearing a nice blazer and perfectly ironed slacks approached the counter. At that moment I was steaming the last ten pounds (YOU READ THAT RIGHT) of small shrimp for a call in who was scheduled to come pick them up at 9:30. Our steamer was tiny. I could only do about five pounds at a time so I had five one pound bags of shrimp sitting on the back counter while I steamed the first half of the order.

Back to nice blazer guy. He orders two pounds of farm raised shrimp. I politely explain that were out of shrimp. All shrimp. We are out.

He wordlessly jabs his thick, sweaty finger toward the back where five bags of thawed shrimp sat pretty and neat on the counter by the steamer.

I wait for him to say something, he does not. I explain that they are reserved for a customer who called in hours before we were out.

“What the f#+! makes them so special? I’m paying for shrimp now, I want those. I should come first! I’m already here.” He grumbles and barks.

I had to explain that they called hours ago. I have to fill that order or I could be fired. Those shrimp are not his and I apologized profusely.

He leaves.

I spot him talking to my manager who is just shaking his head and clearly frustrated that he has to explain something to this entitled stain. It’s probably about the friggin shrimp.

Ten minutes later there’s a SPRAY of ground black pepper being flung into seafood department, then the plastic spice container bounces off the back of my head.
Thank the gods that all the bags of cooked shrimp were closed and I had my back turned, or else I’d have been blind and the shrimp would have been ruined.

I turn around and GUESS WHO IS STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SEAFOOD CASE. That’s right. Blazer guy. He’s standing there huffing and puffing and shouting at me. To this day I have no idea what he said because I was in complete and utter shock.

I could not think of what I should do. This guy was nuts and pissed… but so was I at this point. My feet hurt, I stunk like old bay, I was missing everyone’s new year’s parties and I was just so beat. Best of all I had to be in at work bright and early the next day.

Something dark and unnatural possessed me. I reached back toward the sink, grabbed the spray hose and let loose a stream of cold water on this royal prick. I did not shout, I did not growl.

I said “please leave…” in a mantra over and over until he left to escape the icy flow of my inability to take more crap from him or anybody else tonight.

Yes, he got the manager again. Yes, he caused a scene. Yes, he demanded that I was fired.

The manager, an older fellow who had worked retail for fifty years found me the back room crying because I KNEW that I had just lost my job.

I was handed a write up slip (not the termination notice I was expecting) with a smile and a pat on the shoulder.

“I would have decked that little turd.” My manager said before walking away with a bounce in his step.

I was not fired.