so let me see if i can articulate a thing

i obviously do not believe in or agree with the whole “victimization” rhetoric people use to shut up marginalized voices narrating and examining their own oppression. However, sometimes–especially when there’s so much shit going down all the time–we can start to see it when it’s not there, or we can become so sensitive to it that it is there but we blow it out of proportion. I do believe that happens on occassion and I work to be critical of it in myself. It’s one of many reasons why critical distance is so important.

Now that being said I often tell my students “start with a feeling” and I think that’s good advice. Often times you will react to something without being critically cognizant of what you are reacting too. So if I find myself particularly irritated or frustrated what I have discovered, time and time again, is that there is sexism there. It’s a tough dance between “am I reading this correctly or am I overreacting?” But that’s what it means to live critically in the world.

Now several things have happened in the last few weeks that have me…emotionally off-center. There was the facebook Ghostbusters fiasco (I took the post down) that I still keep asking myself, “did I overreact?” Not about the obvious mansplainer but the more standard conversation that followed with other men. Then there was a good debate with my brother wherein I articulated (I am super stoked I got this moment into words. I’m paraphrasing here) “I am not going to apologize for knowing things! I am educated. I do know many things that other people do not and while that doesn’t give me the right to force decisions on them it is not wrong or unethical of me to assert my knowledge as valuable and justified!” I then went on to point out that he shifted the debate from where we started (capitalism) to a subtle ad hominem attack on my statements. He listened, as he almost always does, and we live and love to debate another day. (I seriously lucked out in the sibling department fyi.)

Okay and then I went to play Magic Cards with 5 men who are all older than me that I grew up with. My brother and four of his friends, 2 of whom I was in highschool with, and 1 my brother graduated HS with who married to my cousin. One of them in particular has an interesting relationship to gender; he keeps himself so carefully cloistored choosing to interact through his “jokey” self. A self that primarily makes jokes about sex and body parts and is semi-constantly engaged in a game of chicken.

Spoiler alert: I’m really good at that game. You want to try and get me to blush? Make me embarrased? Out do me in the game of who-can-say-the-most-sexually-inappropriate-thing? Not going to happen. I’ll win almost every time I really want to. I’ll take it farther and I’ll go harder. (That’s what she wishes he said.)

So there’s this guy who can dish it but can’t take it but won’t stop regardless. Then there’s another guy I like and respect who, while absolutely aware of social lines in a professional capacity, nonetheless has a very complicated relationship to systemic inequalities on the personal level. And then there’s just the usual run-of-the-mill “we’ve known each other since we were 10 and 14 and our relationships are surprisingly complex for being so shallow.”

But by the end of the night I was in full lockdown. What I mean by that was I was so tired of the sexism, the dismissals, the questioning, the subtle undercutting, and the emotional warfare that I said to my brother “I have one more game in me and then we’re going to have to go.” I literally couldn’t take it anymore.

So the question is: is what I feel legitimate or am I overreacting?

Now before you answer let me say one thing. I know what I felt was “legitimate” but I don’t mean it in that way. Obviously there was sexism at work. There always is in a dynamic like that. But the presence, even frustratingly so, of sexism doesn’t mean that my…extreme emotional reaction to it is justified. Some of this could still be on me. I guess my question is where and how much.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Was seeing older posts here and theres this one about weight loss. Same happened to me, I lost 18lb in 3 weeks and people're like "you look gorgeous you lost a few pounds didnt you?" "Tell me your secret!!" And dude I had HUGE bags under my eyes, I obviously looked sick and super tired and I felt like shit. But people only cared that I was thinner! And I wasnt even fat before!!!!!! (not that it matters but I'm cleary under weight now in the "not healthy" kind)

Yeah, I was so sick I couldn’t get up to take care of my kid. Thst was the breaking point for me. It was rough. And having people encourage unhealthy behaviors for the sake of aesthetic is insulting and horrible.

I’m finally making this a post of my own, since the blog that initially posted it [after asking permission] no longer exists, apparently.

This picture is at least two years old now and perhaps a little outdated, but it holds a very special place in my heart. Though I would normally look back on it and think of all the things I could improve, this particular piece taught me that art can be more than about general appearance or aesthetic.
I’ve grown to love it for what it is, not what it could be.

This has meaning to me because of several reasons, but one of those main reasons is the fact that my dad think that, out of all my art from 2013 until now, this is his favourite.
And for reasons I can’t really explain, that means the world to me. It’s made me appreciate everything this one piece has brought me, and opened me up to a wonderful community that’s part of an amazing thing.

So I hope you all enjoy/enjoyed yourselves and had a good Christmas/holiday! 
Remember: you’re all fantastic and deserve nothing but the best, especially now :)

Kalahira, this one’s heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention.
Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.
Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me.

*lies on the floor, cries for a hundred years*


Yum! Fancy night out. Had such a great V-dayanniversary w @brendonboydurie ♥”


I always see a lot of people say, “I hate liars.” Truth be told, if you hate liars, you have to include yourself. Everyone lies, EVERYONE. Some people lie about little things, and some people lie about bigger things. What separates everyone is how OFTEN they lie. That’s the difference, and that’s why what most people should say, “I hate COMPULSIVE liars.” When people say “I hate liars”, I feel offended, because I’m a liar, just like everyone else is. Watch what you say.



Hey! So I may have decided to completely purge my devblog’s older posts. Which I totally did, since I decided to wipe the entire board and start things fresh now that I have a much more solid grasp on the game’s story and design that I want to strive for. As such I’ve gone back and redesign the entirety of the game’s main party members. They look far more interesting now! 

One of the major things that spurred the redesign was the fact that I wanted to create a worldspace with some Dragon’s Crown inspirations where I could push wildly varying character designs and still have everything take itself seriously. It’s not really shown in the main cast, but expect NCPS and later characters to come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.

I’ll upload more stuff here as time progresses, but I hope you guys like what you see!


My first year as a Philosophy Student/Studyblr

Yesterday I took my last exam, so now my first year as a university student is over! It’s been a great adventure, I’ve learnt a lot of things and I can’t wait to go on.

As I said in a couple of older posts, for this last exam on ancient philosophy I had to write an essay and I was scared as it was a really new thing for me. In the end, not only I’ve successfully written a whole philosophy paper, but it was also a very good work: my professor found the topic original and interesting and he also agrees with my personal thesis!

I’m very proud with myself, but that’s not all: I owe a big THANK YOU TO THE STUDYBLR COMMUNITY and in particular to the 900 amazing people who decided to follow me (😱). I’ve learnt to believe in my abilities, to stay motivated and to never lose my determination, even when those days when all seems to go wrong.

I have some dreams and expectations that won’t be easy to achieve, but I’m not afraid to keep going! So keep going everyone, we’re strong enough to make it 💪

The Game - 5.6 REDUX

Charlie and I have often talked about going back and re-doing a few of our older posts with the nice TrekCore screencaps instead of our boo boo screencaps that are probably from some pre-Netflix streaming site, and since multiple people have made the Pokemon Go/“The Game” connection this week, I did this one. The original post is from FIVE YEARS AGO, so many of you may not have read it. ENJOY

Sexy chasing: approved

We begin our episode on Risa, the holiday sexytime planet Picard visited once. This time, though, it’s Riker, of course, and he is hitting it with a sexy alien lady, of course. They are literally chasing each other around the room, something that real adults do:

Higher slits for instant access

There aren’t a whole lot of clear shots of alien lady’s nightie here, but from what I can tell, it’s actually super-cute. It does have slits that might, in a public setting, prove bothersome, but if it’s intended for private use, I say the higher the better. Also her boobs look good.

Riker is back in his blue PJs, leading me to believe these are the only pajamas he owns:

They bring out my eyes…and my hottness

I would have imagined Riker as the kind of dude who has a whole closet full of silky pajamas in every color, so he never has to re-wear a set in front of a new lady. This blue looks nice on him, though, so I won’t complain.

The main thrust (hurr hurr hurr) of this episode is that this alien lady here gives Riker a game that attaches to your head and is played by…thinking about it? I guess? It looks like this:

Sexy alien lady not included

The goal is to get the disc in the funnel, and you can still see the world (in Riker’s case, the sexy alien lady) beyond the game. The thing about this game is that when you level up, the game sends a neurological reward directly to your brain’s pleasure center. Essentially what this means for the episode is a lot of shots like this:

Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh

So just be prepared for that.

Back on the Enterprise, we meet a new member of the Engineering team:

She was just Wynnona’s sister at this point

OMG BABY ASHLEY JUDD!! This is her very first listed credit on IMDb, right before she played her breakout role of “Wife of Paint Store Owner” in Kuffs. And she had a sweet ‘do:

I was going for Space Heidi

This is a fifth-season episode, so by this point, Wesley Crusher has gone to Starfleet Academy, but conveniently on this episode, he comes “home” for a visit:

Look at you, all growed up

I actually prefer this Starfleet Academy cadet uniform to the regular Starfleet uniform in a way. The majority-black look is a little more streamlined than the asymmetric colorblocking of the normal uniforms. In any event, this is a much better look for Wesley than the jumpsuits he wore in his earlier episode. Much more mature. Even his hair is –

Error 438: Hair is terrible

– oh nooooooooooooo! Butt cut attack!! Again!! (Although the other butt cut episode is in Season Six, so maybe Wesley actually inspired those other butt cuts.)

But apparently the butt cut is not enough to dissuade Ashley:


They run into each other down in Engineering, and it is less-than-three at first sight. Check the look he gives her as she walks away:

I’d like to show her my photon torpedo

Rejected captions include:

  • She just took my warp drive to 9
  • Security to the bridge? More like security to my pants
  • Even without his VISOR, Geordi could see how fine she is
  • I’d like to check out her plasma conduit
  • Make it so, and by “it” I mean “boning that hot chick”

She does give him a little over-the-shoulder action as she leaves, too, though:

He’s no Morgan Freeman, but he’ll have to do

So we have our adorable budding romance in the works. How does this relate to the crazy game Riker picked up? Well, it seems that the game, while fun to play, is some sort of mind-control device, because Riker gets Troi and Crusher to start playing it:

Crusher fans: YOU’RE WELCOME

And soon thereafter, this happens:

Corrupted Data

While this is going on, Wesley and Ashley are on a date in Ten-Forward:

Ten-Forward: The Only Bar You Need

Looks like young Wes has dug up one of his old jumpsuits:

Paula Poundstone is missing some shoulder pads

Now, I’m sure that, for a girl in Starfleet, the sight of a man in uniform doesn’t have the effect that, say, sailors have on your average lady, or a dude in a corduroy blazer with elbow patches has on me. But I would have gone with the uniform, Wes. You look like you stole your mom’s “Blockbuster Night” sweatshirt and tried to bulk it up with football pads, and let’s be real, buddy, you ain’t no football player.

Ashley looks pretty cute, though:

Just because I’m in Starfleet doesn’t mean I can’t be demure

Yes, it’s got sleeves made of latex balloons. Yes, it has a sweetheart neckline with attached choker. Yes, it is the color of thousand island dressing. Yes, there is a definite Donna Martin vibe happening with it. But I don’t know, I just like it.

The two of them start to talk about the game that’s been sweeping the ship, and see some other crew member in Ten-Forward playing it:


Then they have this exchange:

WESLEY: I wonder how it works.
ASHLEY: Why don’t you try it and find out?
WESLEY: I’d want to know more about it first…we could hook it up to a computer. The medical programs can simulate human brain responses…
ASHLEY: The game uses a visual interface…we could connect it through an optical sensor!

I know when I hear about a new video game, my instinct is not just to try it, but rather to run it through a battery of tests. This is a GOOD DATE, you guys. Dinner, followed by experimenting on a highly-addictive, psychotropic game, followed by makeouts.

So what the nerds discover on the experiment section of their date is that the game is basically a mind-control device, and that Data has been deactivated, and that they need to get everyone to stop playing it right away. Wes tells Picard, who says he will look into it, but right before the commercial break:

Imagine this with the most dramatic music you can think of

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not Picard too!! Now it’s Wes and Ash against the world!

They try to figure out how to fix Data:


And then they realize that because everyone on the ship is under the game’s control, they should just pretend to be playing it so they don’t get bothered anymore:

I don’t think he’s faking it

So, just to review: first date? Dinner and neurological experiments. Second date? Attempting to fix an android. Third date? Acting like your pleasure center is being stimulated while your MOM stands there (yeah, Beverly was in the room at the time). This sounds really promising, guys.

So finally we see who is behind all this:

Less sexy now that she’s captured your ship

You may not be able to tell, but this is the sexy alien lady from before, now looking like a fierce bitch in a cracked-up wetsuit. If you’re going to go for the opposite of a nightie with high slits, this is probably it. She looks like she’s made of asphalt.

So there are a bunch of shenanigans that end with the officers capturing Wes and forcing him to put on the game:

Abre los ojos

And you are like “how can they possibly fix everything in the two minutes left in the episode??” and then they DO, because unbeknownst to the audience, Wesley and his lady have fixed Data up and figured out how to reverse the game’s neurological effects. (Spoiler alert: it’s a fucking STROBE LIGHT. Never make your deus ex machina something associated with a rave.)

And so the episode ends, with Wesley finally getting to first base:

Hands above the Equator, Crusher

This is historic, guys! It’s Ashley Judd’s first onscreen kiss! You go, Wesley. You rock her dilithium crystals right out of her warp drive.*

*I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean