Are Homunculus Years Like Dog Years?

OK so I was thinking…

For being over 100 years old, you would think the homunculi would be really wise, sage-like and emotionally mature. Collected and calm, like Hoenheim and Father. But for having lived for literally hundreds of years, they still largely act emotional, immature, and somewhat ridiculously. 

This makes me think that maybe homunculi age and mature differently from humans, given their philosopher’s stones and near-immortality. Perhaps they age on a longer timeline like the Asari from the Mass Effect series, if you’ve seen it: for the first few hundred years they are still in their “maiden phase” where they like to party and be wild, etc, only settling down around 500-600 yrs old, and becoming wise matriarchs even later. Or you could think of it like dog years, but longer instead of shorter. 

And if you think about it, the older homunculi DO seem more mature than the younger ones.

From oldest to youngest:

1. Pride

2. Lust

3. Greed

4. Envy

5. Sloth

6. Gluttony

7. Wrath
***Note on Wrath: Because Wrath started out as a human, remembers his upbringing, doesn’t regenerate and essentially ages and lives like a normal human, it seems possible that he could be exempt from the pattern. Maybe it’s mostly driven by the pseduo-immortality.

Sloth and lust are rather serious characters; Greed less so, but he’s clearly more emotionally mature than Envy the Jealous, and Sloth and Gluttony are so undeveloped that they seem simpler and more childlike than the others. 

SO, there seems to be a linear relationship between the ages of the homunculi and their level of psychological maturity.

So let’s look at a possible ratio. The EXACT ratio isn’t important, so long as it’s a believable approximation of their maturity in human years. For example, a pretty clean ratio is 10:1, where 10 homunculi years is about the equivalent of 1 human year. 

To illustrate, let’s take Gluttony. He’s a little over 100 years old, but let’s call him 100 to make it easy. If 10 homunculus years = 1 human year, that would make Gluttony a little over 10 years old in terms of his psychological maturity in human terms. This actually matches up pretty well with his behavior, which is very innocent, childlike, obedient, and emotional. 

That would make the others…

1. Pride (>300) = >30 yrs old

2. Lust (~250) = 25 yrs old

3. Greed (<200) = <20 yrs old

4. Envy (~175) = ~17.5 yrs old

5. Sloth (~150) = ~15 yrs old

6. Gluttony (>100) = >10 yrs old

The exact ratio may not be spot-on, and people would still mature at different rates, but on the whole, it holds up somewhat well. Gluttony is as innocent as they come, Sloth acts hilariously like a lazy teenager who doesn’t want to do anything but sleep all day, Envy is immature and self-centered, Greed is full of cockiness and over-confidence/arrogance, Lust, in what little time she gets, seems calmer than her younger siblings, and Pride by far comes off as the most serious and mature.

Riding the theory out, this ratio would give homunculi the psychological maturity of those in middle age around 400-600 years old, and they’d be “elderly” and wiser after that. Of course, this isn’t a lifespan per se, because they won’t die from old age, they would theoretically just get increasingly older and wiser!

Anyway, this brings up another question: What are the homunculi like when they are first created? Perhaps they are unintelligent, feral and purely instinctual versions of their sins. 

Another possible pattern is that the older they are, the more human their appearance. Gluttony and Sloth are both the youngest, and they both have bodies that are obviously inhuman. Maybe they are beastly when first created, and slowly come to look more human with age. 


A. Homunculi mentally age more slowly than humans, so that 10 homunculi years = 1 human year, or something close to that

B. The older homunculi are, the more they come to physically resemble humans


1. Birthday, blood type: 1996/01/26, RH+ O
2. Attractive point: Nose, jawline, 12 dimensional
3. Group’s position: Maknae, rapper, looks old
4. Ideal type: A girl who gives off a good vibe
5. Favourite food: Except the beans in his rice, he likes everything
6. Something you’re into nowadays: Deep house music!
7. Our group’s charms: Energy, power, o wa!!
8. One thing you want to say to your members: Thank you!
9. Goal: Become my son’s example
10. Message for Japanese fans: (In the past, he) wanted to go to Japan once. (He’s) happy to do shows in Japan (now.) Thank U so much!

translated by monstaxtrans ϟ take out with full credit.

NPR Does Sweden

If you’ve been listening to NPR lately, you may have noticed that I just spent some time in Sweden. My producer Rich Preston and I were there for a week, and we brought back 11 stories. The last one is airing this Sunday morning, on Weekend Edition. I’ve collected links to all of them here (in no particular order), in case you missed any or want to go back and listen again. Enjoy!


1. How prepared is Europe to deal with Russia? Not very.


2. Here’s how a small island in the Baltic Sea pulls together the complicated threads of global military alliances.


3. This is one of the most remarkable places I’ve ever seen, and it disappears entirely every year.


4. “It’s like roquefort cheese, vinegar, and seafood all in one.”


5. In Stockholm, fare dodging is a movement. And it turns a profit.


6. I literally did not use cash once during my week in Sweden.


7. Sweden’s official voice on twitter often sounds anything but official.


8. Coming soon to an airport near you…


9. Anti-immigrant parties are growing fast in Sweden, as in most of Europe.


10. Victims of ethnic violence can also be perpetrators.


And coming this Sunday on Weekend Edition…

11. The government of Sweden commissioned a national typeface. So, how does a font capture a country?

1. kuroo’s putting on his brave captain face in order to reassure yaku, who’s probably feeling shitty and guilty as heck
2. yaku has saved their asses so many times and kuroo’s acknowledging that
3. yaku looks so young here, look at him, he’s only a seventeen year old
4. no one wants to have to walk off the court at this stage
6. is kai rubbing his head vice captain standing by captain telling volleymom it’s okay. trust us.
8. kuroo calls yaku “yakkun”