Are Homunculus Years Like Dog Years?

OK so I was thinking…

For being over 100 years old, you would think the homunculi would be really wise, sage-like and emotionally mature. Collected and calm, like Hoenheim and Father. But for having lived for literally hundreds of years, they still largely act emotional, immature, and somewhat ridiculously. 

This makes me think that maybe homunculi age and mature differently from humans, given their philosopher’s stones and near-immortality. Perhaps they age on a longer timeline like the Asari from the Mass Effect series, if you’ve seen it: for the first few hundred years they are still in their “maiden phase” where they like to party and be wild, etc, only settling down around 500-600 yrs old, and becoming wise matriarchs even later. Or you could think of it like dog years, but longer instead of shorter. 

And if you think about it, the older homunculi DO seem more mature than the younger ones.

From oldest to youngest:

1. Pride

2. Lust

3. Greed

4. Envy

5. Sloth

6. Gluttony

7. Wrath
***Note on Wrath: Because Wrath started out as a human, remembers his upbringing, doesn’t regenerate and essentially ages and lives like a normal human, it seems possible that he could be exempt from the pattern. Maybe it’s mostly driven by the pseduo-immortality.

Sloth and lust are rather serious characters; Greed less so, but he’s clearly more emotionally mature than Envy the Jealous, and Sloth and Gluttony are so undeveloped that they seem simpler and more childlike than the others. 

SO, there seems to be a linear relationship between the ages of the homunculi and their level of psychological maturity.

So let’s look at a possible ratio. The EXACT ratio isn’t important, so long as it’s a believable approximation of their maturity in human years. For example, a pretty clean ratio is 10:1, where 10 homunculi years is about the equivalent of 1 human year. 

To illustrate, let’s take Gluttony. He’s a little over 100 years old, but let’s call him 100 to make it easy. If 10 homunculus years = 1 human year, that would make Gluttony a little over 10 years old in terms of his psychological maturity in human terms. This actually matches up pretty well with his behavior, which is very innocent, childlike, obedient, and emotional. 

That would make the others…

1. Pride (>300) = >30 yrs old

2. Lust (~250) = 25 yrs old

3. Greed (<200) = <20 yrs old

4. Envy (~175) = ~17.5 yrs old

5. Sloth (~150) = ~15 yrs old

6. Gluttony (>100) = >10 yrs old

The exact ratio may not be spot-on, and people would still mature at different rates, but on the whole, it holds up somewhat well. Gluttony is as innocent as they come, Sloth acts hilariously like a lazy teenager who doesn’t want to do anything but sleep all day, Envy is immature and self-centered, Greed is full of cockiness and over-confidence/arrogance, Lust, in what little time she gets, seems calmer than her younger siblings, and Pride by far comes off as the most serious and mature.

Riding the theory out, this ratio would give homunculi the psychological maturity of those in middle age around 400-600 years old, and they’d be “elderly” and wiser after that. Of course, this isn’t a lifespan per se, because they won’t die from old age, they would theoretically just get increasingly older and wiser!

Anyway, this brings up another question: What are the homunculi like when they are first created? Perhaps they are unintelligent, feral and purely instinctual versions of their sins. 

Another possible pattern is that the older they are, the more human their appearance. Gluttony and Sloth are both the youngest, and they both have bodies that are obviously inhuman. Maybe they are beastly when first created, and slowly come to look more human with age. 


A. Homunculi mentally age more slowly than humans, so that 10 homunculi years = 1 human year, or something close to that

B. The older homunculi are, the more they come to physically resemble humans

Criminal Minds Drinking Game

1 shot:

  • They play chess on the jet
  • Derek calls Penelope “baby girl”
  • Copycat killer
  • Children are abducted 
  • Has a type (ex. Blonde,female,blue eyes,etc)
  • Is unemployed
  • When Penelope has to talk to suspects
  • When the unsub is 15-25 years old
  • Penelope mentions how scared she gets when they leave

2 shots:

  • Spencer says something scientific and one of the agents has to explain
  • When druggies/prostitutes/the homeless are the victims
  • Derek tackles the unsub
  • The victim is shot more than once
  • Public places
  • Has a mental disorder
  • When the unsub works within the law enforcement/medicial etc.
  • Spencer visits his mom
  • Unsub is 25-40 years old

3 shots:

  • Spencer has to say Dr. Spencer Reid when they leave the doctor out
  • When they get the dogs 
  • When the stresser is the death of a parent
  • They keep their victims for more than a month (extra shot: The children all live)
  • They play out a fantasy
  • When Spencer uses the Bible/Greek Mythology/Lore as a reference to the crime and how it was committed 
  • A lot of newspaper clippings in the unsub’s housing 
  • Set in a big city
  • An agent gets shot

4 shots:

  • When someone gets stabbed and shot
  • Murdered in their home
  • Body part missing
  • When the talked to unsub, but didn’t realize until later
  • The unsub takes their life before they get arrested
  • Each time a woman flirts with Derek
  • Unsub is 40+ years old
  • Happens out in the woods
  • Spencer is reading with his super reading powers

Just finish whatever you’re drinking:

When it gets really emotional between two or more agents. 

Bonus: pour another if it’s Penelope and Derek

cool here’s my idea for a magic school in the harry potter universe it’s called Fungus’d and these are the houses

1. bash n dash

people sorted into bash n dash like to start drama then immediately leave the conversation so everybody else has to deal with it and they can come back later and act like they didnt do anything wrong

2. thimble

people sorted into thimble are really small and act like they’re old but they’re like, clearly not old, until they are old at which point they are old

3. jak and daxter

people sorted into jak and daxter are scared. not of anything specific. not of anything tangible at all. they’re just scared. they have a constant air of fear and unease that follows them at all times. nobody else can feel it. that scares them even more.

4. veggie burger

people sorted into veggie burger are bad at maths but make up for it by being really bad at crosswords



The lovely penw0man started a really cool project, so I decided to finally join in the fun :D Sooooooo, 25 facts about me:

1. My full first name is Maria Angela
2. I’m 26 years old
3. I have an older sister, she’s 9 years older than me
4. I love to sing
5. I love to spin fire poi
6. My favourite colour is any shade of blue
7. I play World of Warcraft
8. I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past almost 7 years and I couldn’t be happier
9. I have almost no eye sight in my right eye, it’s a condition called strabismus (lazy eye)
10. I’ve had 4 eye surgeries up until now
11. I’ve always been shy and awkward in social situations
12. I don’t own many books; as of this moment, I have 60, but I’m hoping to expand my collection (if I ever have money :P)
13. My dream is to own my own house and have a whole room dedicated only to books
14. My other dream is to travel to Australia and meet my favourite blogger friends 
15. My other other dream is to meet darkestwings in London one day
16. I almost had an accident when I took my driver’s licence exam. I never got into a car to drive again
17. My favourite genres are YA and adult fantasy
18. I love riding the motorcycle with my boyfriend
19. I don’t want any kids.
20. I used to bite my nails; I still do it, but I try to refrain when I can
21. I never thought of myself as beautiful/pretty. I still don’t.
22. Favourite shows include Supernatura, Game of Thrones, Criminal Minds, Suits and Pretty Litttle Liars (I know, I’m all over the place)
23. I live for chocolate.
24. I can’t cook/bake to save my life.
25. I think I’m kind and loyal. At least I hope I am.

Well there you have it. 25 facts about me. Sending everyone all the hugs and all the cookies <3