old woman on the internet alert

anonymous asked:

May i have a Nalu, “wtf you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? oh sHIT you’re really drunk aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING OKay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” au. Thanks and have a nice day ^_^

bless you people for having the patience of the gods to deal with me and my slow updates.

I am currently dead inside from having to deal with finals and whatevs but thank god for fanfics to keep me going.

Thanks for the request and whoever you are anon, please enjoy!

Never again.

Never. Fucking. Again.

When next Natsu sees Loke-that stupid pretty bastard-he’s gonna break his nose and strangle him with that furry coat of his.

Natsu knew he shouldn’t have agreed to the party, even in his slightly buzzed thoughts when Loke suggested it, something banged pots and pans screaming at him “NO”, but of course he didn’t listen to the crazy little voice in his head the one time it was saying something smart.

A slice of pain shot through Natsu’s head as his eyes slid open. God he was hungover, in the literal sense and like that movie trilogy with those guys because for one, he couldn’t remember shit from last night.

Two, as he sat up, cracking his back with a satisfied grunt, the place was trashed mercilessly. Like there was cake on the ceiling (who does that? He’s done weird stuff but even then, standards) and something suspiciously like vomit on a spot a few feet from him. Also he was surrounded by empty bottles of Red Stripe.

At least he found his answer to the headache.

And third, like Doug from the first Hangover movie, Loke’s ass was nowhere to be seen. He’d have to check on the roof later to make sure last night really didn’t follow the plot of that movie.

But after his post hangover breakfast. Loke can wait when a cheese omelette and toast is calling.

The journey to the kitchen was longer and harder than he ever imagined, everything was a crutch, holding Natsu up as he hobbled to his goal of a healing meal.

He clutched his chest half way there to catch some breath. His shirt was gone, lost to the events of last night. As was his shoes. And his pants. Natsu was practically naked and he still couldn’t remember a damn thing.

God he hoped none of this made it on the internet.


What the hell was that.


Well either the old fridge was acting up again and decided to start screaming in the early afternoon or someone was here with him, and it didn’t sound like Loke.

Natsu knew what a hungover Loke sounded like and he never sounded this alert.  Well at least whatever it was is in the kitchen. Saves him some energy.

Sparkly red pumps attacked Natsu’s weak eyes, abandoned on the dirty tiles next to bare feet. Bare feet belonging to the woman with her head currently in the sink, groaning and maybe close to throwing up.

Uh……..” Her head flew up, damp blonde hair sticking in clumps to her forehead. Well it looks like someone thought drowning herself was a good way to get rid of a hangover.

“You’re not Cana.” She said, voice raspy with sleep and alcohol.

“Nope. And you’re not Loke are you?”

“Oh thank god no.”Her raspy voice devolved into a fit of giggles. Cute hiccupy giggles. They sounded a little bit like alcohol.

“So i’m guessing this isn’t my apartment either.”

“Bingo.” “Cana isn’t here?” Mystery girl brushed wet hair from her eyes, propping herself up on the counter.

“I haven’t found anyone else yet so i’m guessing no.”

Natsu shouldn’t have said that. He should not have said that. If he were sober he wouldn’t have said that.

Small tears leaked from her eyes making them even redder and puffier. “You mean she left me? Cana went home without me……?” she choked up a sob and he realizes that maybe she’s a bit drunker than he probably thought.

“No wait! I just woke up!” Natsu exclaimed, trying to ease her distress.He shuffled a bit closer. “I haven’t searched the rest of the apartment, your friend might still be in here! We can go look!”

She hiccuped and let out another sob that had his semi-drunk self feeling so helpless and lost that even a few tears started to prickle at the corners of his eyes.

But Natsu held those back. Two people crying usually ended up in a never ending loop of tears. That happened once with Gajeel and he wasn’t gonna go through that again.

“You wanna maybe sit down?” Natsu suggested, “I think I got some orange juice left, you could have that and just take a breather to calm down or if you want I can get you something else to drink.”

She took a heavy breath through her nose to even out her breathing from crying.It took a few more but the tears stopped and Natsu couldn’t help a tiny sigh of relief.

“You ok now?” He asked cautiously.

“Yeah…..sorry about that, I just got a little…..overwhelmed.”

Natsu nodded. “You the emotional drunk?” “Yeah. You?”

“Calm and dead. Not a lot of stuff phases me.”

She gave a slightly sober chuckle. “Looks like we balance each other out. Must be a drunken twist of fate.”

Sh held out her hand and he grasped it with a weak shake. “I’m Lucy and well, sorry about the crying and for being in your place like this.”

He grinned. “No problem, you’re not the first hungover person i’ve dealt with. Had to knock out the first guy though. You want breakfast before we look for your friend?”

“If it’s not too much trouble.” “It ain’t, plus you can tell me about last night ‘cause i can’t remember jack shit. You like cheese omelettes?”

“Who doesn’t?”

Oh god.

That’s not what she think it is written on his chest in her handwriting, in her bright blue lipstick that she got herself on valentines.

“Hey is there something on me? You keep staring.” Natsu eyed her curiously as he shoveled the last of his meal in his mouth.

Yeah…NO! No, no no,no. You’re fine! Everything’s just fine!” Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down

“Really? ‘Cause with how you were looking at me you’d think that there was something…….Did someone draw a dick on me?”

His gaze lowered to roam over his naked chest. He looked.

And no doubt he could read the word ‘MINE’ boldly written on him and see the smeared lipstick mark a little bit further down, close to inappropriateness.

No way….” His eyes shot back up to meet Lucy’s and, dear lord, she must’ve had some still on her lips because his face twisted into something sinister.

“Did you do this?” He asked playfully,cackling at her reddened features.

“We were both really drunk and nothing happened!”

“You sure? Because this looks a bit out -” “Yes I’m sure! Just, stop talking! Our drunk selves are different people who we don’t know and must never speak of!”

Alright, alright.” The argument was dropped but that evil smirk was still plastered on his face. He motioned for her to hand over her empty plate and glass as he moved to the sink.

Water gushed from the faucet as Natsu cleaned up, and of course he just had to close off the issue properly.

“Just for the record Lucy,” he called, “You should probably take someone out to dinner first before calling dibs on them.”

She buried her face in her hands. No way in hell was she gonna tell him about the ‘JUICY’ cheekily peering at her, partially hidden by the band of his boxers.