She was both an old soul and a free spirit. It was hard to understand her, but oh lord did you want to try.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #166
12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity.

They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships.

Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationships.

They’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from.

They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.

They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility.

Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways.

Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love.

And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.”

Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high.

They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

11. They have baggage.

People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.

The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

I want to write you letters and take pictures of you with a polaroid.
I want to walk with you to your door after a night of holding your hand.
I want to spend our evenings reading books by a fire and candles.
I want to invite you over for a meal out of my grandma’s cookbook.
I want to escape to a place where the simplest things mean the most.
—  & I want to go with you
Types as People I know IRL

ENFJ: Is one of the nicest person I know, seems to make friends every time she’s in a public place. Has a really hard time saying no to people asking favors to her. Cries a lot, especially when watching animal videos and TV competition shows auditions (golden buzzer moments especially).

ESFJ: Has a creepy way of knowing when you’re not feeling well. Always has comforting words of wisdom. Has very strong belief in their values. She’s the person I go to when I need honest opinion about a subject of just to get some infinite love. Cries a lot too, especially when with ENFJ.

ENFP: Is VERY emotional, can go from butterflies and rainbows to torture chambers and fire pits real fast. Amazing sense of fashion, goes through phases (only wears black, only wears pastel, only shops at thrift stores). Is never at the center of conflict and can always find a way to mend broken bonds. Very intelligent but can make some non-intelligent spontaneous decisions. Acts as though they don’t care what people think but they’re probably the most self-conscious people I know (except for maybe ISFP).

ESFP: Can’t stand doing nothing for more than 5 minutes, has more energy than a 3 year old. Is really fun to argue with but don’t kid yourself, you’ll never win the argument (or you’ll know you’re right but they’ll never acknowledge that). Likes the outdoors and wants to live on a farm later in life.

ENTJ: If incredibly smart but even more hard headed. Cares a lot about people but cares more about their success. Was in all the clubs at school and for good reasons, they’re extraordinary leaders. Has no patience for stupid people or bullshit.

ESTJ: Has a very dark sense of humor and I LOVE it. Has a very astonishing way of always getting what they want. Looks like an introvert until they are seen in a crowd. Would be the person I would want with me during an apocalypse.

ENTP: The comebacks that come out of their mouths are amazing. Could never be bored around them since they’ll find a dark and twisty subject to talk about. Will argue as much as ESFP but will usually be more right and sometimes even admit when they’re wrong. I’ve never seen someone party like an ENTP. Secretly hates people but can’t live without constant interaction with them.

ESTP: I don’t know any ESTPs, guys where are you?

INFJ: You can do nothing with this person, for like 4 hours and feel like you just had a super deep conversation, baked cookies and climbed Mount Everest. Doesn’t talk a lot but when he does it is always the truth. Nobody dislikes INFJ, how could you he’s like that one flower growing in a field of rocks.

ISFJ: Loves books, is afraid of doing extreme sports and things that could be dangerous. Has so much imagination and lives to help others. I have never seen them angry.

INFP: Takes everything so personally, I’m always afraid to say a joke around them. Doesn’t do much, binge watches a lot of Netflix shows and loves politics.

ISFP: They never tell you how they’re really feeling but it doesn’t matter, you can read them like a book. Are very self conscious and seek attention from people. They’re so generous and kind but it’s hard to give back to them. Loves classic rock and old video games, is addicted to sports.

INTJ: I WANT AN INTJ FRIEND SO BAD. I’m pretty sure my chemistry class teacher’s assistant was INTJ but didn’t have the nerve to ask him, he was very passionate about science, over population and the statistic of the online dating world.

ISTJ: Can’t find any of you guys either, sorry…

INTP: YOU GUYS ARE EVERYTHING. I only know one INTP. Right now he’s either on wikipedia, watching educational videos on Youtube or playing some indie video game. INTP looks very socially awkward but is one of the kindest soul I’ve ever met. Talks to me about subjects I know nothing about (politics, economics…) in a way that makes me interested. Plus their vibes are super sexy.

ISTP: Where is your secret hideout, where are you guys hiding?

Warning: These are based on people I know in my life and I don’t expect them to represent everyone who are those types. If you are ESTP, ISTJ or ISTP I’m sorry, from one MBTI addict to another you don’t know how badly I want to meet one of you guys.