I compare him to you a lot,” she says, a smile growing on her lips.
“The way he looks at me, you never looked at me like that. Like I was something precious, something to cherish. You never listened, you’d brush away my views and opinions and insist you were right. He doesn’t. He listens, takes in my view and respects it. You never held me like he does. You’d make it seem like a chore, something you had to do. He takes my hand when I don’t expect it, pulls me close and kisses me like he can’t stop himself.” Her smile is beaming, but it’s not for him.
“I compare him to you a lot because now I see how bad you were for me. I thought I was happy with you, but now I know I am so much happier with him than I ever was with you.
I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you. I wanna build us a house. I wanna settle down and grow old with you. I wanna die when I’m 110 years old, in your arms. I don’t want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime.
People walk into one another’s lives for a reason. It’s not always the one you hope, but that doesn’t lessen the experience. That best friend that you drifted away from, you helped her realize that she didn’t need to live under her parent’s thumb because she’s strong enough to be independent. That almost-boyfriend you had, he made you realize that you have so much value and that you deserve so much more than what you’ve been asking for. That person that betrayed you, you taught them that causing wounds in others just deepens the wounds in themselves rather than heal them- and they taught you that a bad choice does not mean a bad person.
Sometimes people come into your life to be a sword or a shield. They are there to help fight a battle and once that battle is over, they are no longer necessary. So never be sad about the people no longer in your life- you served your purpose and that battle is over. Look back and smile instead.
Sometimes I wonder whether or not to blame you for the fact that you didn’t know how to love me. Maybe it wasn’t your fault that you’d pushed yourself onto me the way that you did. But then maybe it was.