old person humor

anonymous asked:

Good luck on your new blog! Hope it will be a good experience for the both of you. Since I'm not surehow much characters you take per ask, any TFP autobot/s of your choice finding out, that seemingly young adult bot!Reader is the oldest bot on team (as if in almost Alpha Trion old)?

First ask! Fuck yes! I’m weak for TFP, so I’m beyond happy rn. Thank you for being the first request, love! I hope you don’t mind if I do just about all the bots! First request, gotta be overly enthusiastic.


Optimus Prime

- It’s probably not long until he finds out. Either he figures it out through your “old person” humor(according to the humans) or other, he’s the first to realize how old you actually are.

- Of course, this doesn’t really change his opinion of you at all. This is a war, there isn’t much time to be all “holy slag, they’re actually thousands of years older than me. im like a baby compared to them!”

- But he does have a little moment like that in his own private time. 

- He does try to be a bit more respectful of you than before, and as much as he doesn’t want it to be, it’s obvious. 

- Finds anyone else’s reactions to you being on the older side entertaining. He especially laughs if it was a huge thing for the bot who found out.(coughcoughsmokescreen)


Ratchet

- “I know.”

- He could probably tell from any medical scans he’s done on you. Someone your age has a completely different internal composition than most, and being Ratchet’s been in the game for quite a while too, he could tell the difference between a young bot and old bot.

- It doesn’t stop him from being surprised once he gets exactly how old you are.

- He offers to be your old man griping buddy. Needless to say, you have a new friend to complain to, just like he has to you. Old bot squad.


Bumblebee

- He flips his shit. 

- You can barely translate his rapid beeping, barely managing to get a “What!? I’ve been treating you like someone my age and you told me nothing!?”

- Once you get him to chill down a bit, he gets embarrassed about flipping out. No matter if you’re old as dirt or as young as Smokescreen, you’re still the same bot. 

- He does point out you’re surprisingly pretty for your age, though. No offense meant. 

- Once he finds out, he keeps the information above anyone else who doesn’t know’s heads. Specifically Smokescreen. 


Arcee

- “… Are you kidding?”

- Most of all, Arcee’s probably third most chill on the teammate spectrum. She probably finds out on a mission or other, where you manage to understand a joke in old cybertronian and laugh your ever-loving aft off. She’s confused as to how you understand that humor until you actually explain just how old you are.

- She actually thought you were younger than her. Turns out she’s wrong, but oh well. 

- Tries not to make a big deal out of it, ends up successful. Has a lot more respect for you than before, just by realizing how much of the war you’ve actually seen. She’s someone else to gripe to if you ever need it.


Bulkhead

- Surprisingly unaffected at first.

- It kicks in an hour later when he suddenly looks up whiile in the base and goes “wait, what?”

- He’s surprised, just like most of the others. If he thought you were younger than him, he might be a little awkward at first. But after getting used to the information, he chills out a bit. 

- Bulkhead just doesn’t give a fuck after that initial 2 days of letting the information process. You’re still you, what does age change?


Ultra Magnus

- He gives you a look. It kind of screams a mix of “are you kidding” and “It’s not hard to believe this but I’m having trouble.”

- Magnus, once actually confirmed this by someone else, goes up to you and blatantly asks just how old you are. 

- You look him dead in the eye and reply “Old as dirt.”

- He doesn’t get it at all.

- Ultra Magnus is glad to know there’s another soldier with plenty of experience, and if you just so happened to be one of the most respectful soldiers out of Team Prime, his opinion doesn’t change much. If you’re childish, on the other hand… 


Smokescreen

- “WHAT.”

- He thought you were his age. Please save this poor boy.

- But, you’re so young-looking! And you’re not at all grumpy or stern!(or at least not very much). How could you be older than Ratchet of all bots?

- He doesn’t mean for it to sound rude, but it kind of does. 

- Smokey gets it after you give him a look. Apologizes while scratching the back of his neck; you can’t really blame him for being surprised, can you?

- You’re pretty sure he doesn’t want to hang out with you after that, so you leave him be. That is, until he comes to you proposing yet another rule-breaking race.

- Safe to say his opinion hasn’t changed much.


Wheeljack

- Not a fuck given. Where did they go? Out the window. 

- “Alright.” 

- There’s not much else than that. If his opinion changed of you at all, you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you’re reaaaally perceptive. 

- The most that would change is he’d probably go less easy on you in sparring matches, if you’re both friends and spar often.

Okay, but Darth Vader being an absolute smartass, saying things like “I find your lack of faith disturbing” while choking someone orWe would be honored if you would join us.” after trapping Leia and the others – that’s all Anakin, that’s Anakin’s wit there. And only after the prequel I realized how very important that little detail is, because Anakin is not dead, as so many want to believe, he’s still there, has still retained some of his old personality and wit and humor, twisted as it now may be, and that actually makes me laugh and cry, because Anakin was never fully lost – he just lost his own way and hope, and nobody until Luke tried to find him under the Dark Side and Palpatine’s influence again.  

Dad Wears a Muslim Amulet - But We're Catholic

My father had always worn a Taweej – a Taweej is a cylindrical Islamic talisman you usually wear around your neck, seemingly to offer protection. The funny thing about this was, however, the fact that we were all ardent Roman Catholics who went to church every Sunday and knew the Bible like the topography of our nostrils. This antithesis had earned my father (Deepak Nair, he had a small role in the relation I posted about my experiences on Bodmin Moor) a lot of attention, primarily the unsavory sort after the sudden burst in terrorist attacks this last decade. Honestly, it confused me more than anything, to know that my father who once grounded me for a week for a giggle in church wore an amulet around his neck that was obviously from another religion – indeed, one that was at war with ours pretty much all throughout history. Whilst bemused by this talisman, I didn’t care much – after all, my father could wear all the necklaces he wanted as long as he got me that Burberry trench coat as a birthday present. So I didn’t probe, at least until I graduated with a degree and my father proclaimed that his “gift of adulthood” for me was a trip to India.

Excited? Fucking yes I was. I’d been ‘the Indian girl’ for my then-twenty two years, and it was terribly embarrassing to tell everyone I’d never seen the country I inherited my skin colour and relentless competitive spirit from. My entire family came along, my brothers even took time off from work and post-grad to sit on a crowded plane (“cattle class is the best class,” my oldest brother Arjun sang sarcastically). We went to Kerala, obviously – my parents hated tourist sites and tourist spots so our first stop was at the village my father spent his later childhood in, a small, red-dusted village a few kilometers off the city of Cochin. Embarrassing to say, this was the first time I’d ever seen my grandfather.

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